Yak May 2013

E I S S U A YOUNG ICONS the world. n o g in k ta s n The Rube

ES G E V S U S R E rrots?

MEATCaV e Case for Ca th r o k a te S r se fo The

Y T I N R E T A M NST ther’s Day guilt confessions.

I A G A S E M I Mo CR

ISSUE 15 / MAY 2013 BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE U

CONTENTS 08

Malcom Turnbull Lecture

10

The Don Morris Walk

18

Mother’s Day Confessions

23

triple j Unearthed: Lurch & Chief

25

Final Ever Dickie’s Dilemma

12

The Rubens

Cover: The Rubens

EDITORIAL Emily Steele - Managing Editor Kate Ellis - Deputy Managing Editor Bayden McDonald - Deputy Editor Lachie Leeming - Deputy Editor Richard Baines - Deputy Editor Tanya McGovern - Deputy Editor Anneliese Wild - Graphic Design Hannah Sunderland - Graphic Design Lucy McLeod - Promotions and Advertising

24

Mass Debate: Meat Versus Vegetarian

29

Tom Ballard answers 5 questions

CONTRIBUTORS Ben Mitchell - Graphic Design Jacqui Scolari - Contributing Writer Jasmin Harrison - Contributing Writer Liz Crichton - Graphic Design Maddie Leeming - Contributing Writer Matthew Hatton - Contributing Writer Natasha Mansfield - Contributing Writer Pasqualina Perone - Contributing Writer Sean Dunlop - Graphic Design Selina Chapman - Contributing Writer Shane Gillard - Contributing Writer Shannen Aungiers - Contributing Writer

APOLOGY Last month some Anime Club details were printed incorrectly in our Clubs and Societies section.

SUBMISSIONS The Yak editorial team is always on the look out for passionate student writers and graphic designers to contribute to the magazine. If you would like to take the opportunity to get your work published, please send a sample of your writing to yakmagazine@newcastle.edu.au.

ADVERTISING

THE USUAL STUFF

26

Something For Kate

04 Yak Online, Yak or Yuk

20 Clubs & Societies

05 Academic Profile

21 Campus Whip Around

05 Watt Space

30 You Can Leave Your Hatton

07 Green U

31 Vox Pops

07 Support U 16 What’s On

For advertising opportunities, contact Lucy at yakmagazine@newcastle.edu.au Get your free copy from press-points around campus on Monday, 3 June.

yakmagazine@newcastle.edu.au facebook.com/yakmagazine twitter.com/yakmagazine Yak magazine is a free publication of UoN Services Ltd © 2012. www.uonservices.org.au Printed by PrintCentre on Callaghan Campus.

• Hunter Walk for Freedom • Songs to get you pumped for exams • Uni Games participants

• Peter Cave Interview • Gadgets to spend your tax return on • What to do during the winter break

Yak Magazine is published by UoN Services Limited at the University of Newcastle. The views expressed herein are not necessarily the views of UoN Services Limited or the University of Newcastle, unless explicitly stated. UoN Services Limited accepts no responsibility for the accuracy of any of the opinions of information contained in this issue of Yak Magazine.

In addition, Yak Magazine may at times accept forms of cash advertising, sponsorship, paid insertions or other forms of affiliate compensation to subsidise the costs associated with producing the magazine. We recommend you do your own research and draw your own conclusions about any product claim, technical specifications, statistic, quote or other representation about a product, service, manufacturer, or provider.

Yak Magazine - May 2013

LETTER FROM

THE EDITOR EMILY

THIS MONTH’S BITING QUESTION: “If you could speak a foreign language, what would it be and why?”

MANAGING EDITOR

EMILY STEELE

I would just speak English with all different accents, because I’ve just made friends with a heap of Irish guys and it would be awesome if I could understand a word they were saying. It would stop me worrying that they are conspiring against me all the time.

The Yak team are now painfully aware of how very uncool their editor is. I mean, in this issue we have an awesome interview with Something for Kate, but when we were discussing it, I thought our deputy editor Kate, was after something. I was lost when they mentioned the Rubens too. This is by no means a reflection on the band’s success, but more a lack of musical knowledge and finesse on my behalf.

DEPUTY MANAGING EDITOR

So I know when the Yak team find out I went to The Script last month (and loved it!), they will shake their heads.

DEPUTY EDITOR - FEATURES

I purchased a new t-shirt (for a whopping $45) to replace the one I got at my first Script concert, four years ago. I am now faced with the issue, where do I wear my new shirt that boldly boasts the faces of Danny, Mark and Glen? My friends may possibly beat on me (there is no inequality in my group of friends, boy or girl, you will get bashed). My family will incessantly bug me as to who The Script actually are until I am forced to belt out a horribly performed rendition of one of their songs. I’m even a little afraid to wear it in public for fear of looking like an all-tookeen, pre-pubescent groupie.

I was then confronted with the shocking realisation, something that happened so slowly over the last few years, I hadn’t even noticed it. I have begun to care what others think!

I was disgusted to think I had begun to lose the carefree nature I had once worn proudly as a teenager. Back in the days I would wear whatever I pleased without a care in the world as to what anyone would think. Now I am concerned with what people will think about me wearing something that shows exactly who my favourite band is.

03

KATE ELLIS

I would speak Dutch because I have distant cousins staying at my house at the moment. It would be good to understand what they are on about when I’m not in earshot. Plus my impressions are getting old, hurdy-gurdy.

BAYDEN McDONALD

Probably Japanese, so the dialogue in animes would actually start making sense.

DEPUTY EDITOR - ENTERTAINMENT & TECHNOLOGY

LACHIE LEEMING

I would speak the same language as the maid out of Family Guy. Then whenever anyone asked me to do something, I could just say, “No, no…I clean”.

DEPUTY EDITOR - COLUMNS

RICHARD BAINES

I would speak French, because let’s face it, French people are more attractive.

DEPUTY EDITOR - UNI CONTENT

TANYA McGOVERN

I’d speak Cantonese, because fluency would help me to avoid looking like a fool. Honestly, I once said goodnight when greeting someone at 10am.

GRAPHIC DESIGNER

ANNELIESE WILD

So now I’m going to get it all off my chest so there will be no more surprises for the Yak team, or potential new friends; my name is Emily and I am proudly uncool. I am a humungous, no understatement at all, Harry Potter fan. It’s probably my favourite thing in the entire world. My little brother is my best friend.

Trackies should be more socially acceptable to wear in public. I listen to all the garbage pop music.

My crocs are very comfortable and……I have read all the Twilight books…twice…ok, many times.

GRAPHIC DESIGNER

I will take every criticism on the chin. I might be uncool, but I’m very happy with it.

PROMOTIONS & ADVERTISING OFFICER

I just want to know the equivalent word for “vegetarian” in every language, so I can safely navigate international cuisines that consider chicken a kind of ambulant vegetable.

HANNAH SUNDERLAND

I would speak Swedish so I could understand what the Swedish chef from The Muppet Show is saying.

LUCY McLEOD

I would speak cat (cat-glish? meow-glish?). My rationale is that when I’m a crazy old cat lady I’ll be less lonely if I can actually carry on a conversation with my menagerie of cats.

04 Yak Magazine - May 2013

twitter.com/yakmagazine

JARROD

facebook.com/yakmagazine

To the person who left their jumper in CT202, it’s still there and we have provided it with a disguise for your convenience.

3,276 people like this people like this

PEOPLE SLEEPING AT NEWCASTLE UNI Literally the first photo from inside the CT202 I have seen that doesn’t include someone sleeping…

3 people like this

BEN

Found a little study buddy

90 people like this

CLAY

Rocked up at 11am and got an instant free park under the ICT. Then waited five minutes for Ashton Kutcher to jump from the bushes.

31 people like this

ASHLEY

Computer in the CT comp lab only took about 10 seconds to log on? I wasn’t prepared for this!

I needed that 3 minutes to work out what I was actually going to do on the computer!

33 people like this

ETHAN

Marcus Rodrigs has suits so fine they make Sinatra look like a hobo.

33 people like this

DUNCAN

This mosquito situation is getting out of hand.

It seems that insect repellent just won’t cut it anymore. Staff and students of University of Newcastle, I suggest we upgrade to flamethrowers.

Fluoro Shoes 90s Fashion Revival Daylight Savings

71% 69% 62% 63%

143 people like this

See more @ Newcastle University Stalkerspace Facebook page.

Memes: Sourced from UoN Memes.

Yak Magazine - May 2013

05

BY TANYA MCGOVERN “I loved books and I love my job because it means I get to work with books and students all the time, so you know it’s the ideal place to end up,” Trisha said.

Trisha Pender

Lecturer in English & Buffy the Vampire Slayer Expert

E

ver felt like you’ve struggled to balance a normal life with fighting a constant battle against the forces of evil, like Buffy the Vampire Slayer? UoN Lecturer in English, Trisha Pender, knows a thing or two about an interesting field of academic research called Buffy studies.

Trisha studied a Bachelor of Arts in Literature and Women’s Studies at the University of Sydney. She’s a longterm fan of the cult series, and wrote two essays on the subject during her undergraduate degree.

“I’m interested in how it depicts the opportunities for women, and I think she’s kind of an inspiring role model because she’s fighting against the forces of evil continually.”

Trisha researches feminist pop culture, looking particularly at third wave feminism in the 90s cult series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

She undertook her PhD in early modern and renaissance female writers at Stanford University and taught there for eight years. She then moved to Pace University in New York, teaching for three years before coming to Newcastle.

A self-confessed book and pop culture nerd, Trisha always knew she wanted to become an academic researcher.

“I occasionally find…that my essays are being taught at another university,” she said.

A Modicum of Truth, or a Mound?

The Dazzling Destruction

24 APRIL - 12 MAY A Modicum of Truth, or a Mound?

– Ryan Fitzgerald Walls – Dylan Smyth

“When I arrived at Newcastle [uni] I met someone who said, ‘Oh that’s you; I’m teaching your essay in my course’.

A study conducted in June by online magazine, Slate, revealed that Buffy is the most studied pop culture property by academics. The writers at Slate got lazy and stopped counting when they reached 200, so there’s bound to be more out there.

Trisha taught Buffy at Stanford and Pace, but hasn’t had the chance to teach it at Newcastle.

“I’d like to [teach Buffy at Newcastle]; I’d just have to see if I can design a new course for it,” Trisha said.

Trisha’s currently working on her book I’m Buffy and You’re History: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Contemporary Feminisms, and is teaching ENGL3700 Novel into Film and ENGL3013 Women’s Writing this semester.

Before Ophelia

A Force of Habit

16 MAY – 9 JUNE Before Ophelia – Charlotte Patterson The Dazzling Destruction – Ashlea Boswell

Jetty – Begona Pretorius

A Force of Habit The Annual Watt Space Open Show, curated by the student committee members Skye Jacobson, Barbie Procobis and Mary Van Gils.

Thursday, 16 May, 6.30pm Email: wattspace@newcastle.edu.au Website: www.newcastle.edu.au/group/watt-space Facebook: facebook.com/WattSpaceGallery Watt Space Gallery, University House, Auckland St Newcastle. Open 11am -5 pm, Wed - Sun. Ph: 4921 8733 Watt Space is funded by UoN Services Limited and supported by the University of Newcastle School of Creative Arts.

The U are offering five Industry Scholarships for Semester 2 2013 within the Campus Life team, each worth $2880.

Apply for a scholarship for the chance to get involved in campus life, get valuable hands on industry experience, and build your rĂŠsumĂŠ.

Yak Magazine - May 2013

07

- HOLIDAYING SUSTAINABLY

By Pasqualina Perone

This month, UoN Sustainability Scholar, Pas provides tips on how to enjoy a sustainable holiday.

•

Do your research. Respect local customs and traditions, and dress appropriately, particularly at sacred sites.

Everyone, it seems, has caught the travel bug lately. Whether it’s the lure of exploring different cultures, seeking adventure, or getting trashed on another continent, people everywhere are packing their suitcases and jetting off to places unknown. However, while you’re overseas having the time of your life, grabbing a bargain in a market or sipping cocktails by the pool, it’s also important to remember that there are people who live in these areas, and will continue to live there long after your holiday is over.

•

When you can, try to support the locals. Eat food that is produced locally, stay at guesthouses owned by local people rather than large companies, and hire local tour guides. This supports the little guys, and gives you a more authentic and memorable experience!

•

People tend not to turn off the lights, air-conditioning and other appliances like they would at home when traveling, because they don’t have to bear the burden of the electricity bill. A lot of hotels do this automatically, but in the ones that don’t, try to remember to switch everything off when you’re not there.

Also, packing lightly can do more than just reduce your excess luggage fees and leave room for more souvenirs! National Geographic reported that an extra 4.5kgs per traveller requires an additional 1.3 billion litres of jet fuel per year. That’s enough fuel to keep a Boeing 747 flying continuously for ten years!

So here are some handy travel tips to make sure your actions are socially, economically and environmentally sustainable.

•

When travelling to third world nations, in particular, try not to give money to street kids or buy souvenirs from them. While it may seem against your better judgement, supporting them means more incentive to sell things on the streets instead of being at school or in bed when they’re out at all hours of the night.

•

•

Don’t purchase goods made from endangered species, such as anything made from ivory or tigers’ teeth. Your quirky travel memento could be supporting a cruel and unsustainable industry.

And finally, when visiting some of the beautiful natural wonders of this world, remember the old saying, “take only memories, leave only footprints”.

SUP PORT U This month, UoN Support Scholar, Jasmin shares the delicious support services available to students.

I thought it’s time to let you know about some more of the incidental services that exist to make your life at uni just that little bit safer, happier, and cheaper!

First of all, if you haven’t heard about the NUSA BBQs, well, you shall miss out no longer! They are held on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 12.30pm at the NUSA building, Callaghan Campus. There’s always vego and meat options.

NUSA also provide a bunch of other stuff, including free all-day brekkie food, cheap weekly vegie boxes, and of course, being the student union on campus, they are there to advocate and represent students in need.

For Ourimbah goers, there is now a free Wednesday BBQ run by the U, 12-1pm in the central quadrangle. Also live music and games – yay!

Now, on all those other days when you can’t scab a free feed and you’ve brought your lunch along, there are two Survival Stations at Callaghan set up with hot and cold water, sinks and microwaves. Great for the colder months! There’s one in the Shortland Building Student Hub, and the other is in the Hunter Building, just across from the U Shop.

Food, glorious food...guilt-free?

By Jasmin Harrison

So, while munching away on freebies may leave you feeling lighter in the pocket and heavier in the belly, Bike Love Coral is there to help. While you’re by NUSA on a Thursday, you will find the Bike Love Corral just outside. It may sound a little strange and hippy-ish, but do not fear, it’s worth its weight in... weight? You can take your bike there to get free help with fixing it up, or even buy or borrow a second hand bike from what they have on hand if you’re in need of some wheels. The shop is run by volunteers, 10am-4pm. Ride those kilojoules away and save the environment at the same time. Double win!

But if bikes just don’t do it for you, another super useful free service is the security shuttle bus. If you’re running late, to literally save your legs, the bus runs from 8am to 6pm on a big loop around Callaghan, including the train station, car park 15, and Shortland end. After 6:30pm you can call 0407 951 470 to arrange pickup and drop off to nearby suburbs. Too easy!

08 Yak Magazine - May 2013

THE BARTON LECTURE

Kate Ellis reflects on the constitution, same sex marriage and an Australian Republic from the mouth of Malcolm Turnbull.

T

he Barton Lecture was established in 2008 as a forum for stimulating debate on Australian politics and constitutional issues. Now in case you were sleeping through high school and missed Australian history (which, lets face it, is highly likely), the Barton Lecture pays tribute to Sir Edmund Barton, one of the top blokes who made Australia the country it is today.

Literally. And here’s another fun fact: He was the 1901 Member for Hunter.

So when Malcolm Turnbull, the man many are labelling our next Shadow Communications Minister, came to the fore to deliver the lecture, I must admit, I was very much expecting the Government bashing of Question Time, or the meaningless and ever-winding rhetoric of a seasoned politician.

What I got was quite the opposite. Turnbull was engaging (shock!) and even funny. Nothing like some of the sleep inducing waffle we endure on a daily basis. He even had some very valuable tips for we students who one day might hope to achieve such splendour when we finally graduate.

The Constitution, lets be honest, is never going to be a fun topic.

It’s not exactly the material of action movies. But somehow the eloquence of Malcolm Turnbull made the document seem more useful than an environment-destroying lump with a primary purpose of inflicting head injury when attempting to beat someone to a pulp. That’s if you find yourself in a combat situation with nothing on hand but the defining document of this great nation. Turnbull described the Constitution as a document “more frustrating than inspiring,” and being an avid republican, he went on to poke holes in our monarchical foundations and

boldly state that the final step of the autonomy given to us by Edmund Barton was to shake off the shackles of Queen Liz, and come forth a Republic of Australia.

So lets look at that for a minute. When Malcolm says the Constitution is “more frustrating than inspiring,” he refers to two main things. Firstly, the fact it enshrines the Queen as our head of state. She can veto laws or even sack a PM (sorry, Gough), and technically speaking, she is the head of our army, although I find the image of a khaki-wearing Queen hard to conjure.

Secondly, Turnbull believes it is too difficult to change the hearty document that is our constitution. He is of course referring to the double majority. A double majority, funnily enough, means a majority vote from the nation and a majority vote from the state, two votes, double majority (duh!). This system is to ensure little guys like Tasmania do not get trampled under the gigantic toes of the ‘big city’ states like NSW. Malcolm, however, isn’t a fan of the double majority and he uses Australia’s track record with referenda as an example. Our last referendum was in 1999.

A referendum very much spearheaded by Malcolm himself, it proposed both a preamble to our constitution and ditching Queenie as our monarch and becoming a republic.

DESIGNED BY

Yak Magazine - May 2013

Now, I don’t know about you, but I was seven when this referendum was voted on. I’m definitely not going to be the best person to approach if you’re trying to gauge the political debate of the time. I was more interest in seeing how fast I could ride my bike, climbing trees and chopping the hair off Barbie dolls.

09

public vote asking Australians what head of state they would like and how that head of state will be chosen. I’m sure your National Broadband Network will do an excellent job in facilitating my part in that vote, at speeds pretty much the same as the ones I have access to now … impressive.

But, my understanding is a tracksuit wearing, socially conservative Prime Minister with rather radical eyebrows wanted to plop God in our constitution, and rather confusingly worded the suggestion for a republic. Turnbull believes this wording is part of the problem and politicians have a job job to explain complex terms so people can participate in ‘political dialogue’.

Okay Malcolm, have you had a look at your own party lately?

Why don’t you consider Tony Abbott’s famous promise to “stop the boats” before you go pointing the finger about who has the most eloquence when describing complex issues.

But, being the lecture that keeps on giving, Malcolm when on to list a few student tips! Turnbull completed and Arts/Law degree at Sydney University. He was a Rhodes Scholar and also has a Law degree from Oxford University - pretty swish. So what do you need to achieve all of this? Well, if you plan to follow in the steps of Mr Turnbull, pay a mate to take your notes in your lectures (which, he says, “were most likely written sometime between the wars,” anyway), while you earn a buck packing fruit and vege at your local grocery store. Yes, you too can become one of Australia’s key leaders and political figures, and all you have to do is sink to the depths of laziness and poverty. Hey, I shouldn’t be too far off then.

In all seriousness though, Turnbull’s career as a lawyer gives us all a pretty good lesson. As a rookie in his late twenties, Turnbull represented Kerry Packer when the Costigan Commission accused him of pretty much every crime you can think of. Against the advice of senior lawyers he suggested Packer publish an 8000 word defence of the crimes, which led to Packer being acquitted. Of the experience he says, “the grand old men and women do not always have the right answer”. So we can take that to our lecturers when they tell us that staying up all night armed only with your laptop charger and several cans of Red Bull is not a good approach to completing an assignment the night before/ morning of the due date.

By now, I am sure you are all glued to your seats, just aching to hear how our precious pollies ascended up the ranks of their illustrious careers and are planning to fix Australia’s constitutional woes. Well, it wouldn’t be a lecture based in politics if there wasn’t some serious toeing of the party line.

Assuming Mr Fix-It mode, Turnbull believes the Internet is the answer to our republican ‘problem’ (cue lengthy speech about Coalition Broadband policy). According to Malcolm, we need a

Broadband Networks and lazy students aside, the most relevant part of this lecture for me came during Turnbull’s statement about the marriage equality movement. Coming from the Liberal Party, which I generally associate with good old God fearing, socially conservative Christians, I was expecting the old rhetoric about ‘marriage being a union between a man and a woman’.

I was pleasantly surprised. Malcolm not only declared his support for gay marriage but went on to challenge conservative defence. He argues the concept of marriage as a union between a man and a woman is antiquated (who knew?) and based on an era where if you can’t see it, it doesn’t exist. When countries and states all over the world have legalised gay marriage we simply can say this is the case, he said.

As for the rather preposterous notion that gay and lesbian people ‘undermine’ the concept of marriage, Turnbull so aptly points out that “lack of commitment, adultery, violence and abuse,” is what is undermining marriage (Amen to that!).

“Perhaps if Italy legalised gay marriage”, he added, “Silvio Berlusconi would have had more bunga bunga parties”.

As for who get’s my vote this September, Malcolm Turnbull definitely is an extraordinary and charismatic communicator, who should possibly seek out a career in lecturing when he retires on that hefty government benefit. But, to go against the republican argument, and borrow the words of “the King” I’d still like to see “a little less conversation, a little more action, please”.

DESIGNED BY ANNELIESE WILD

10 Yak Magazine - May 2013

Don Morris Walk

By Tanya McGovern Have you ever ventured down to the Don Morris Walk? Not many have, and its existence is relatively unknown. You’re about to read about a secluded place that some have kept a secret for too long.

“

The stretch of bush track was named after the late Don Morris, University Planner from 1975 to 1988. He worked to clear sections of the track and removed introduced flora, such as Lantana, from the area.

Looking at the university map, the Don Morris Walk is represented by a curved dotted line behind the Engineering precinct.

This line is a meek representation of what you’ll find in reality.

”

Don Morris Image courtesy of The UoN Cultural Collections

Starting the walk at either end, you’ll begin your journey on a path underneath a thick canopy of native trees. Along the way, you’ll come by a small wooden viewing platform, but it’s not until you reach the middle that you’ll find the gem in the sun – the University Wetland.

The Wetlands Project started in 1988 with the assistance of a National Estate Grant. The area was originally the home of a low lying, neglected orchard. The project saw a number of small adjoining ponds and mud islands created by dredging the existing wetlands.

There’s a short wooden bridge crossing the wetland to a hidden gazebo.

You can also enjoy lunch at a picnic table overlooking the amazing scenery.

When I visited the area, a couple of students were relaxing on the benches around the water; one student was lounging in the gazebo, enjoying a read. Another had a book and an assortment of artists’ utensils out, sketching the scene as a pair of swans floated by.

A variety of water birds call the wetlands their home. You’ll be able to spot the Black Duck, Great Egret, Australian Reed-Warbler, Dusky Moorhen and the Little Pied Cormorant throughout the year.

The walk is a lovely place for a stroll, provided you dowse yourself in mosquito repellent before entering the shade of the trees. I ventured down to the wetlands unprotected and I paid for it dearly, with my own flesh and blood. This is the home base of the University’s mutant mosquitos. They will buzz up to your ear, taunting you before attacking.

Next time you have a break between classes, try relaxing and clearing your mind. A venture into nature will be sure to do the trick.

DESIGNED BY HANNAH SUNDERLAND

12 Yak Magazine - May 2013

N

ervousness is a fat guy stuck in a doorway; he wants to go through but he needs a little push from someone else.

Madeleine Leeming wags chins with The Rubens’ guitarist Zaac Margin about their dizzying ascent into fame.

The anticipation I had as I waited for the phone to ring, knowing The Rubens front man Zaac Margin would be on the other line, made me realise that I was that fat guy stuck in the doorway.

Admittedly, I am a total rookie in the ballgame of interviewing. Gratefully, yet fearfully, I was thrown into the game head first, speaking to one of my favourite bands. With nobody around to push me through that doorway, it was up to me to squeeze my way through.

I was completely unsure whether any noise would come out at all when Zaac asked me, “Hey, how you doing?”

To my surprise I found some faux confidence when I answered and rattled off who I was and how the interview would go. His voice was quite similar to any other 21-year-old guy, reminding me he was in fact a normal human and there was no need to be near hyperventilation.

Talking to Zaac, it became clear The Rubens have not wasted any time getting themselves off the ground in the past couple of years. The band, made up of three brothers and their cousin, all grew up in the tiny town of Menangle, south of Sydney. It took only a week of playing together for them to realise they wanted to have a serious crack at bursting into the music scene and stop “fucking around”. Thus, great things started happening.

Yak Magazine - May 2013

2012 was a massive year for The Rubens with the young band receiving an ARIA nomination for Best Video with My Gun. A picture of great humility, Zaac said the nomination was unbelievable, yet they couldn’t take too much credit because it was all the director’s work that got them there.

Their self-titled debut album has achieved far beyond what the boys

think any of us thought it would really happen… We just drank a lot of beer then went to bed.”

It’s hard to remember everything we do; it’s all just been such a blur. I can’t even remember what I did yesterday.”

After capping off a national and pacific tour for the Laneway Festival, the band is lined up to play triple j’s One Night Stand in Dubbo. The band will then play at a mixture of venues, from more intimate regional shows at university bars (yes, our own BotH) and clubs to

The ball is well and truly rolling for The Rubens, with immense musical success over the past year, an abundance of girls swooning over the heartthrobs, and a limitless boulevard of dreams for them to pave.

“It’s all an absolute mind fuck.

It’s hard to remember everything we do; it’s all just been such a blur. I can’t even remember what I did yesterday.” could have predicted. Coming in at #3 on the ARIA’S album charts, the album has been certified gold and nominated for a J Album of the Year Award. Not bad at all for your first crack on the music scene.

To cap off the past few stellar months, The Rubens landed in Triple J’s Hottest 100 for the second consecutive year, this time with two songs. The Best We Got was #66 while their top hit My Gun came in at #10. The boys were in New York when they heard the news and Zaac explained their reaction in typically laidback fashion: “it was insane, I don’t

13

larger venues like the classic Enmore Theatre in Sydney.

When I asked Zaac if he had any specific future goals for the band it was simple. “I just want to make a good second album and take the rest as it comes; that’s it.”

The Rubens will be playing at Bar on the Hill on Friday, 31 May.

Tickets:

U Members - $20.00 Students - $22.50 Guests - $27.50 Doors open 7:30pm.

The Rubens’ self-titled album is available now.

Speaking of gigs, I asked Zaac what was on the horizon internationally.

In June they’re heading to the US to perform at the Governors Ball in New York, which will see them playing alongside international superstars such as Kanye West and Kings of Leon.

There is no doubt The Rubens are taken aback by how quickly things have started happening for them.

“New York for the first time was really weird… it’s all an absolute mind fuck.

DESIGNED BY SEAN DUNLOP

14 Yak Magazine - May 2013

You may not know who I am but I can assure that I am not related to Julia, so relax! I’m just giving you a heads up: May is here and eyes are on your every move. You may not think so Swanny, but when you reveal the next federal budget, political nerds like me are watching and waiting. Oh, and the media are on your heels of course!

In the 15 minutes following your announcement, journalists will scramble to scrutinise, analyse, criticise and bitch about the budget. After all, that’s what we’re paid to do, isn’t it? Surely by now you should be able to handle the pressure, you must be used to the thousands of articles churned out by the media machine every day.

In these turbulent political times, the future of the government and your position is in the balance. I sincerely hope you don’t spill your morning coffee as often as your party spills its leadership positions; otherwise that’s a messy start to the election campaign.

On that thought, let’s take a look at your actions as Treasurer over the years and take some wild guesses about the budget.

So I hear that leaving a budget in surplus is a good thing for a treasurer to do – but is it really? Not if you deprive voters of essential services. This isn’t a pennypinching household with a tyrannical landlord, this is a government – it’s different.

Australia has one of the lowest government debts in the world, at a sustainable two per cent. Don’t make me pull out the graphs, its true! Your political opponents inflate this figure, hoping to cause an economic apocalypse of stingy citizens.

Our economy is actually faring quite well in comparison to other countries, which is why the slash and burn approach to the budget that’s become increasingly popular isn’t really necessary.

It’s a shame you couldn’t deliver us a surplus, but it’s not the end of the world. I can’t imagine how government funding would have fared if you hadn’t abandoned the promise. There would have been cuts to welfare, superannuation and probably a tax hike, measures that hit me and many other voters right in the hip pocket.

An election year isn’t exactly the best time to make cuts, but when is there ever a good time? When times get tough, we all have to make sacrifices – we might have to tighten the lunch budget, for example. The government by comparison might have to cut jobs in the public service; it’s all part of balancing the books.

Let’s not forget about the mining tax, what happened there? It didn’t raise anywhere near as much revenue as forecasted. The ten billion dollar question is: why did the mining companies only have to pay $126 million?

So much for, ‘spreading the benefits boom’, as you so proudly stated.

Mining companies run by the likes of Gina Rinehart and Clive Palmer, earn super profits every day. Look Swanny, they don’t need any more money. It’s time to get a more effective tax and make them pay.

The revenue could have gone towards funding big reforms like the National Disability Insurance Scheme (NDIS) and the Gonski reforms to education. So how will you come up with the cash? I hope you’re not planning to cook the books. Corruption is the last thing the Labor Party needs right now.

At the end of the day, you’ve survived another leadership spill, and you are considered to be one of the greatest treasurers in the world, so you must be doing something right. Not bad, Swanny, not bad.

I eagerly await the Mid-Year Economic and Fiscal Outlook this year, or in layman’s terms, the May budget.

I want to know how it will affect me and everyone else in this country. Hopefully it gets through parliament before Abbott moves no confidence against your government.

I wish you all the best in this tough election year as the budget is only one of your many concerns.

Yours sincerely,

DESIGNED BY ANNELIESE WILD

WHAT’S ON EVENTS & GIGS

WEEKLY

Something For Kate

Trivia

Thursday, 30 May Bar on the Hill

1pm, Tuesdays

Bar on the Hill Godfrey Tanner Bar 1pm, Fridays

KEY:

Find out more at www.uonservices.org.au U Member Happy Hour

at Godfrey Tanner Bar, 4pm - 5pm

Friday, 31 May Bar on the Hill

Tanner Tuesdays 7pm, Tuesdays Godfrey Tanner Bar

at Bar on the Hill, 5pm - 6pm

WEEK 9

SUNDAY 12

MONDAY 6

Ice Skating Rink - Last Day

Monday Movies by Moonlight at U Cinema

WEEK 10

10am - Wheeler Place, Newcastle

Labyrinth (G) 6.30pm, Derkenne Courtyard

MONDAY 13

TUESDAY 7

Monday Movies by Moonlight at U Cinema

Trivia

The Rubens

U Member Happy Hour

1pm - 3pm, Bar on the Hill

Showing: Red Dog (PG) 6.30pm, Derkenne Courtyard

Ourimbah Movie Night

TUESDAY 14

Despicable Me (PG) 5.30pm, South Block Amphitheatre

Campus Markets

Quidditch Social league

Trivia

6pm - Oval No. 4

11am - 2.30pm, Auchmuty Courtyard 1pm - 3pm, Bar on the Hill

Tanner Tuesday From 7pm, Godfrey Tanner Bar

Green Week

Pool Comp

WEDNESDAY 8

3 - 7 June

Godfrey Tanner Bar

MONDAY MOVIES

BY MOONLIGHT

3pm, Wednesdays

Pool Comp

Bar on the Hill

3pm - 6pm, Godfrey Tanner Bar

6

May

13

May

Labyrinth (G)

Wind Up Wednesday

Red Dog (PG)

With #Hashtag DJs Free buses in to town + Free pool from 3pm, Bar on the Hill

Lawn Games

3pm - 5pm, Thursdays Godfrey Tanner Bar

(PG)

27

May

Hugo (PG)

Ourimbah movie night FREE Tuesday at 5.30pm, South Block Amphitheatre

7

Despicable Me

May (PG)

Tanner Tuesday From 7pm, Godfrey Tanner Bar

DJ Comp - Heat 1 7pm - 9pm, Bar on the Hill

Pool Comp 3pm - 6pm, Godfrey Tanner Bar

Wind Up Wednesday With #Hashtag DJs Free buses in to town + Free pool from 3pm, Bar on the Hill

THURSDAY 9

20

The Best Exotic May Marigold Hotel

6pm - Oval No. 4

WEDNESDAY 15

3pm, Thursdays

FREE Mondays at 6.30pm, Derkenne Courtyard

Quidditch Social league

Wind Up Wednesday

From 3pm, Wednesdays Bar on the Hill

Pool Comp

THURSDAY 16

3pm, Bar on the Hill

Pool Comp

FIFA 13 Competition - Heat 5

3pm, Bar on the Hill

from 3pm, Godfrey Tanner Bar

FIFA 13 Competition - Heat 6

Lawn Games

from 3pm, Godfrey Tanner Bar

3pm - 5pm, Derkenne Courtyard

Lawn Games 3pm - 5pm, Derkenne Courtyard

FRIDAY 10 Trivia 1pm - 3pm, Godfrey Tanner Bar

U Member Happy Hour

SATURDAY 11

Godfrey Tanner Bar

Hunters Basketball

4pm - 5pm Every day of semester

Newcastle Basketball Stadium

Bar on the Hill

3pm - University Gallery

5pm - 6pm Every day of semester* (except Wednesdays)

Watt Space Opening Night 6.30pm, Watt Space Gallery

FRIDAY 17

Prue Sailer Exhibition Opening

Trivia 1pm - 3pm, Godfrey Tanner Bar

SATURDAY 18

Yak Magazine - May 2013 17

MAY

SUNDAY 19 NRL: Knights vs Bulldogs 3pm - Hunter Stadium

WEEK 11 MONDAY 20

National Campus Band Comp - Heat 1

SATURDAY 25 Engineering Fraternity Bachelor of Inebriation 11am - Location TBC

SUNDAY 26 The World’s Biggest Car Boot Sale

Showing: The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (PG) 6.30pm, Derkenne Courtyard

Art Bazaar Markets

iLEAD Lecture: School of St Jude - Fighting Poverty through Education

Hunter Stadium Car Park 9am - 3pm - Newcastle Museum

WEEK 12 MONDAY 27

12pm, HB15

Trivia 1pm - 3pm, Bar on the Hill

Quidditch Social league

Monday Movies by Moonlight at U Cinema Showing: Hugo (PG) 6.30pm, Derkenne Courtyard

6pm - Oval No. 4

TUESDAY 28

Tanner Tuesday

Trivia

From 7pm, Godfrey Tanner Bar

1pm - 3pm, Bar on the Hill

Relay for Life Trivia 7pm - 9pm, Bar on the Hill

WEDNESDAY 22 Pool Comp 3pm - 6pm, Godfrey Tanner Bar

Quidditch Social league 6pm - Oval No. 4

2013 Alumni Lecture 6pm, Newcastle City Hall

Tanner Tuesday From 7pm, Godfrey Tanner Bar

Wind Up Wednesday With #Hashtag DJs Free buses in to town + Free pool From 3pm, Bar on the Hill

THURSDAY 23 Pool Comp

Relay for Life Trivia 7pm - 9pm, Bar on the Hill

WEDNESDAY 29 Pool Comp 3pm - 6pm, Godfrey Tanner Bar

3pm, Bar on the Hill

FIFA 13 Competition - Heat 7 from 3pm, Godfrey Tanner Bar

Lawn Games 3pm - 5pm, Derkenne Courtyard

Wind Up Wednesday With #Hashtag DJs Free buses in to town + Free pool From 3pm, Bar on the Hill

THURSDAY 30 FRIDAY 24 Trivia 1pm - 3pm, Godfrey Tanner Bar

3pm - 5pm, Derkenne Courtyard

7pm - Bar on the Hill

Monday Movies by Moonlight at U Cinema

TUESDAY 21

Lawn Games

Pool Comp 3pm, Bar on the Hill

FIFA 13 Competition - Heat 8 from 3pm, Godfrey Tanner Bar

Bar on the Hill Gig Something For Kate Tix: U Members: $30 UoN Students: $32.50 Guests: $37.50 Doors open 7.30pm Bar on the Hill 18+. UoN Student Card and ID required.

FRIDAY 31 Trivia 1pm - 3pm, Godfrey Tanner Bar

Bar on the Hill Gig The Rubens Tix: U Members: $20 UoN Students: $22.50 Guests: $27.50 Doors open 7.30pm Bar on the Hill 18+. UoN Student Card and ID required.

SATURDAY 1 - JUNE SUNDAY 2 - JUNE

18 Yak Magazine - May 2013

Rather than opting for the cliché box of chocolates or breakfast in bed, the Yak team thought we’d give something a bit more special for Mother’s Day this year. Because we are such thoughtful sons and daughters, and not at all because we’re lazy students with no money, the Yak editorial team would like to present our special ladies with one of the most valuable gifts of all: honesty. So mums, to show our gratitude for everything you’ve done for us, we’re coming clean on the stuff that we’ve kept from you.

So, people who know me are well aware that I am far from being devious and troublesome. For most my life however, I harboured a deep and dark secret from my mum.

As a youngster I was a big fan of All Saints. Strange?

Yes. The secret goes further. My parents would watch the show every week, and being a child, I was obviously not allowed to watch it and was meant to be in bed.

Breaking all the rules and being a total badass, I used to pretend that I needed to have the door open to sleep (scared of the dark, blah, blah, blah) and would sit by the door and watch the show. If I ever got caught at the door I would pretend I needed to go to the bathroom. I never told my mum this because I didn’t want to be in huge trouble for being so damn naughty! I know, I know, I’m hard core, line up to the left guys!

I think I remember when I learnt how lying works.

When I was very young, my mum had a rule that if I ate something healthy, I could have a biscuit as a reward. I didn’t go much on fruit in those days but I lived for Tim Tams, so usually I’d reluctantly consent to the bargain.

But one day when she was out for a walk my brother had an idea. We could have a biscuit while she was gone, and if neither of us told her, she wouldn’t know.

Not only that but we could tell her we had been eating fruit and she would let us have another biscuit.

I knew that we had struck gold.

Sure enough the plan worked a treat. Little did I know however, the guilt would chase me into adulthood and would weigh heavily on our relationship. Sorry Mum, I should never have betrayed you like that. I hope that we can get past this. Happy Mother’s Day.

Hey Mum, you know how you‘d always say “don’t do that, you’ll hurt yourself”?

Well, I didn’t listen, again, and I’m sorry.

My sister and I decided we would practice our netball shooting in the driveway despite your warning we’d break your pot plants. Soon enough a wayward bounce sent the ball flying. Being the desperate-not-to-get-my-ass-kicked kind of daughter I am, I rushed in to the rescue only to trip over the plant myself, knocking it to the ground and sending the begonias flying. Then I landed flat on my face in the garden, slicing a garden gnome in two in the process.

Also, while I’m here confessing, in a similar incident I smashed a branch off your frangipani tree and tried to glue it back on with its own sap. Not my brightest moment.

For Mother’s day this year I promise to fix up that netball-sized hole in the garden, and stay away from the plants.

Yak Magazine - May 2013

In a previous life I was a grimy little skate rat. I had a flowing mullet, looked malnourished and was all about riding the cement waves. Skate parks in the country seem to be a harem for underage trouble making, and we got up to all the naughty stuff that little kids do.

I kept a multitude of secrets regarding my skate park exploits from my poor old Mum. What possible secret could I be harbouring from my childhood that I would reveal to my mother after all these years? What horrible confession could I dredge up from my pubescent skateboard antics? Nothing much, really. So after 21 years of sonship, Mum, I have to break it to you – Aunty Susan makes better burritos. Not that I’d ever knock back a free feed, but in this particular instance, I have to confess that your burrito mix has never lived up to your sister’s. Gawd, I hope she doesn’t read this.

19

Dear Mum, Hypothetically, if there were to be secrets kept between us, they would involve a goon sack or being on the wrong end of a Kings cup and those are stories better kept for another time (such as the day when pigs fly).

However, there are a few things I’d like to get off my chest: - When you accuse me of eating your chocolate, and I vehemently deny it; I usually have helped myself to quite a few squares.

- When I bought you the box set of Sex and the City for Christmas, that was as much a present for me as it was for you.

- I’m the reason ice-cream disappears so fast in your house.

- Sometimes I forged your signature on school notes, just because I could.

Much love, Your favourite (and only) daughter

Mum, you know me today as a bowl-scraping food lover, but I have a confession to make. Many years ago, as a child, I hated a lot of the foods you served me.

I never told you this because frankly, your stories about relatives dying during famines really scared me. I wanted to scream, “I hate this preserved egg!”, but it just felt hugely inappropriate to whinge after such a tragic topic was brought into the conversation. Yes, you went there, and it worked so well.

I hated the fixed breakfast menu you imposed on my sister and I. Baked bean Monday, Weet-bix Tuesday, savoury porridge Wednesday. I have never heard of anyone putting soy sauce and frozen corn and peas on porridge! I didn’t like the mung bean soup you’d serve me under the guise of ‘dessert’, yet you convinced me to eat it for its skin beautifying properties. I was a vain child.

Although I may have whined and frowned back then, I now thank you. These days I can eat anything, and I mean anything. I have a stomach of steel! A meal that’s been in a decor container for a few too many days? No worries. As mum would say, “recook anything and you can eat it”.

Thanks Mum.

The biggest secret I’ve ever kept from my mum is that I think she’s the most bestest lady in the whole world. (This opinion is in no way influenced by my mum being a UoN student who will most likely pick up this edition of Yak.) But seriously, mums don’t need to know your secrets. The beautiful bond between mother and child has its foundations in one sacred principle - discretion. As someone who’s bred from hearty Catholic stock, there never was a people who have more earnestly perfected the art of looking the other way, and if there’s one thing I gained from communion class in Year 6 (besides a taste for port) it’s that the appropriate time and a place for confession is never.

A secret is like that ill-fitting and weirdly expensive swimsuit that’s been languishing in your bottom drawer ever since you got home from the shops and realised it made you look a bit like a raw lamb roulade. Confession is wearing it to the beach - no one wants to see that, least of all your mother. So for the foreseeable future I’ll keep on keepin’ mum.

Although the Yak team feel better for having got their troublesome pasts off their chests, we don’t condone relying simply on telling your mum something that will more than likely annoy, upset or frustrate her for Mother’s Day. We recommend you get your mum something nice, jewellery, perfume or flowers of the sort, if you intend on following in our footsteps. It might soften the blow. Maybe.

DESIGNED BY LIZ CRICHTON

20 Yak Magazine - May 2013

Natasha Mansfield discovers that there’s much more to the Goonion than just cheap wine

I

f you find yourself questioning the infamous student social life you are meant to be having, and wonder where people are making friends, drinking cheap wine and watching three-legged goats, you will be happy to hear about the Goonion.

More formally known as the University of Newcastle Affordable Wine Appreciation Society, the Goonion was established in 2008, to combat the increasing number of students drinking alone on campus.

Their vision was to bring together likeminded people to promote sociable drinking in an appropriate manner. The Goonion makes it a priority to supply its members with affordable social events so that anyone is able to join up and participate.

For the uninitiated, goon is the colloquial term for wine sold inside a bag inside a box. It’s wineception. And it’s cheap. And you get a lot of it. And once you finish your box of liquid grapes, you get a lovely foil bag to blow up as a pillow for your ensuing sleep the morning after. Seriously. You’ll need it. A goon hangover will be one of the worst you’ll ever be lucky enough to experience.

“But what if I don’t like goon?” I hear you say. Never fear! You don’t have to be a fermented grape-lover in order to be a part of the Goonion. They also cater for all you grain-worshipping beer fans and spirits enthusiasts. If alcohol isn’t your thing, the Goonion always has non-alcoholic drinks on offer for their soft drink-preferring clientele.

The main focus of any Goonion event is socialising; The (safe!) drinking is just considered to be a common ground for members to develop closer social links with other students from all faculties – to make friends!

The Goonion is also very supportive of the other clubs and societies on campus, and even have their own Quidditch team: the Goonfindors!

If you think you’re ready to start your Fermentation Studies majoring in PostInebriation Analysis, get along to the next Goon 101 class and start earning your Bachelor of Goonionism!

Goonion events to be marked in the diary include Goondependence Day, the annual celebration of the Goonion’s drunken conception, Goonlympics, movie nights, the Wheel of Semi-Fortune (coming to an Autonomy Day near you), and extracurricular wine tours around the Hunter Valley vineyards.

But the pick of the season would have to be The Prom. Held annually at Bar on the Hill, the Prom is the highlight of the Goonion calendar, culminating in the crowning of the Goon King and Queen.

The Goonion also have some intriguing traditions. If Chief Goon Sac (Goonion President) is shot in the back by a rogue camel, a gathering known as the “Shooting of the Camel” shall be called.

At such an assembly, it is expected, that all members engage in a moment’s silence followed by the downing of 2 shots of part beer, part tequila, part rum and part Ouzo – a ritual by the name of “Taking the Camel Piss”. As very little is currently known about the effects of goon and camels, it is important to be alert for such an incident at all times.

So if you think you’re ready to start your Fermentation Studies majoring in Post-Inebriation Analysis, get along to the next Goon 101 class and start earning your Bachelor of Goonionism!

Yak Magazine - May 2013

21

CAMPUS WHIP AROUND Discounts, budget meal options, free coffee, and online op-shops. This month students from Callaghan and Ourimbah Campus shared their best money saving tips.

Jacqui Scolari Callaghan Campus

Selina Chapman Ourimbah Campus

Shannen Aungiers Ourimbah Campus

Bachelor of Arts

Bachelor of Psychology Ourimbah Psychology Society President

Bachelor of Psychology

There are two things you should know about me. I am always hungry and I am very lazy. After trekking across campus and back, cramming my brain with assessment dates and lecture slides, I need sustenance and I need it fast. So when I look for cheap deals it’s always food related.

Luckily Callaghan campus has a lot to offer! To those of you who have to manoeuvre their way through the Hunter Building, sorry, this guide is Shortland side only.

The Uni Bakehouse is a favourite because they offer a slice of cake, pie or sausage roll and drink all for $7.

Also, quick tip - like their Facebook page. Sometimes they advertise a buy one get one free deal. Winning!

There are many ways to save money. All it takes is a little imagination and know-how.

For food discounts you can’t go past joining your Ourimbah student association, Campus Central. This year if you join for $20, you’ll get all that back in vouchers, plus the standard 5% discount for all your purchases. This includes stationery and even Coles and Woolies cards.

Co-op Bookshop is a must-have membership. It is a one-off fee for a lifetime of goodies. When they have their sales, I go nuts and buy heaps of gifts for my family for the year. Look out for sales at Scholastic off-campus as well.

If, even with the Co-op member ship, those books still seem pricey, why not borrow or rent a book from previous students for the semester?

Coming back from the library? Take a stroll through the Auchmuty Courtyard.

NUSA has been known to host free BBQ lunches here.

To get through the study hours, free coffee is given to those who join the Mentor program. Give a few hours of time during semester and you’ll get a number of free coffees to share.

Running low on cash? Grab a smoothie and sushi roll from Delish, or a Subway foot long for 7 bucks.

Finally, to rub it in, the Ourimbah Gym is free. Just drop by to arrange an initial evaluation and fitness program design.

And don’t feel bad about becoming a foodie. You can’t study if you’re hungry, right?

To me, trying to save money can be quite hard at times, which is why making budgets can be extremely beneficial.

My biggest weakness is shopping.

I have a wardrobe full of clothes but still continue to buy. I have started creating budgets, and trying to spend only half of my weekly wage on essential items such as food and petrol. Whatever is left over from that week, I save a part of and eventually it adds up. I can then use it to buy something that I’ve been wanting, usually clothes. The other half of the money I don’t spend goes into savings and is used for expenses such as car rego and insurance, or uni supplies.

Other ways to save include packing your own lunch instead of buying it, purchasing your uni books second hand from textbook exchange and selling them there when you no longer need them, looking around for the cheapest petrol prices, and not going out every Saturday night.

I have also recently started selling things that I no longer need on eBay or online op-shops through Facebook, picking up a little bit of extra money along the way. It all adds up!

DESIGN BY ANNELIESE WILD

COMING UP: 7 MAY 14 MAY 21 MAY 28 MAY

Open Mic Night Debating Comedy Open Mic Q& A: Climate Science

facebook.com/godfreytannerbar

Yak Magazine - May 2013

23

F E AT U R E A R T I S T

Lachie Leeming explores the Triple J vault.

I

really wanted to do a write up on Chet Faker this issue. His mouthwateringly creamy EP Thinking In Textures has been in constant rotation in our household, and he too seems to have spawned from the airwaves of Triple J, surely qualifying him for an Unearthed Feature.

But deep down I knew this wasn’t the right thing to do. With a Facebook page powering to 60,000 ‘likes,’ a hit song with Flume, and even a role in a Super Bowl commercial this year, I knew the Chet juggernaut was probably not suitable for this feature.

This meant I would again delve into the murky bowels of the Triple J Unearthed charts in search for something or someone who could pry me from my current musical affections towards Chet.

20 minutes into my voyage through the charts I came across the name “Lurch & Chief,” which could just as easily be the name of two bumbling Miami detectives as it could be the name of a 6-piece troupe of Melbourne musicians.

Looking through their Unearthed profile page, I saw that they were described as ‘striking,’ by no less than three commentators. Listening to a collection of their songs, I wasn’t convinced until I heard the nasal warbling of their lead bloke during On Your Own. It had shades of that fuzzy haired lead from Wolfmother, and his voice was especially complimented in this song by an undulating background of rising and crashing drums.

to possibly be used in a boofy NRL advertisement.

They pit a female and male vocalist alongside each other, something many contemporary bands seem to be revelling in.

The band released their first EP “Paranoia” in early 2012 and have already shown a hungry appetite when it comes to touring. With another EP in production, 2013 is looming as the year Lurch & Chief really announce themselves on the airwaves.

Perhaps 60,000 Facebook likes and a Super Bowl advert appearance is on the horizon for these melodic artistes.

Whilst possessing a lilting softness, their music also retains enough grunt to possibly be used in a boofy NRL advertisement.

Keep an ear and an eye out for them and remember, you heard it here first.

Whilst possessing a lilting softness, their music also retains enough grunt

DESIGNED BY ANNELIESE WILD

24 Yak Magazine - May 2013

There is an infamous episode of The Simpsons where Homer proclaims; “you don’t win friends with salad,” and while I generally wouldn’t suggest taking the words of an overweight, overexposed cartoon character seriously, I am going to make an exception here. Lettuce leaves and a few slices of tomato will never hold a candle to the delights of a well-cooked steak, or cure a hangover quite like a double cheeseburger.

I should probably declare my bias now – not only I am I an avid meat lover; I am a lifelong salad sceptic. While the thought of a life without bacon horrifies me, I fully support a vegetarian’s decision to forgo meat; it just means there’s more for the rest of us.

Yes, vegetarianism has its health benefits and I do admire the will power and conviction of those who choose a meat-free diet. Still, I cannot help but wonder how on earth tofu (which is essentially the result of curdling soybean juice) and other meat substitutes can possibly compare to the real thing.

From a nutritional standpoint, meat is pretty great. It is one of the best natural sources of protein and essential amino acids which the human body needs to be able to function effectively. Protein helps to protect your immune system and build muscle and all sorts of other wonderful things that help the body grow and repair itself.

Red meat is also a good source of iron, vitamin B, riboflavin, thiamin and niacin and while I’m not fully up on my science, I have been led to believe these are all excellent things to have in your dietary arsenal.

Socially, vegetarianism is not easy. While it might seem as though the toughest part of undertaking a vegetarian diet is tweaking your levels of leafy greens to make sure you do not fall victim to an iron or B12 deficiency, the basic truth is that for millennia carnivores have feasted on the weaknesses of herbivores.

While in 2013, vegetarians are not likely to be gobbled up by a cannibal, they are going to be opening themselves up to a lifetime of disappointment at sausage sizzles and a serious lack of options in a fast food drive thru.

I actually hate having to tell people I’m vegetarian. You’d think people would be more accepting now, but my boss thinks I’m un-Australian and my friends call me a freak.

I’m not here to preach what you all think is an ‘alternative’ lifestyle, but I want to clear up some key points from those of us suffering in the minority.

Firstly, and most importantly, I would like to make this clear - if you love meat, then by no means would you care for the vegetarian lifestyle. The “gee I would love to be vegetarian, but I love meat too much” is a completely pointless statement. Stop saying stupid stuff to us.

Why don’t I eat meat? Simple. I do not like it. I don’t like the taste, and just like you don’t enjoy brussel sprouts, broccoli or tofu, I don’t put what I don’t like in my mouth.

No, I don’t live off lettuce and carrot. I’m no rabbit. There are many fantastic substitutes for meat, which personally, taste better than any lump of animal out there.

No, you aren’t automatically a stick twig when you are vegetarian. A boy I went to school with (who I not so secretly detested) once asked, “How are you so ‘meaty’ if you don’t eat meat?” to which I replied, “How are you so stupid if you go to school?” I replace the meat I would eat with vegetarian alternatives, I don’t starve myself.

Yes, I am perfectly healthy, thank you very much. I was iron deficient once and added more iron to my diet.

Problem solved.

There are many benefits for eating meat, possibly more for being vegetarian. The most prominent is a much lower risk for many major diseases. I would also like to not so discreetly point out that as a vegetarian you don’t sit down to eat a chunk of actual flesh that has come from something that once went ‘moo’, ‘bah’ or ‘oink’.

Like any good religion should, but never does, I don’t stick my beliefs down people’s throats. I mean, if you want to harvest livestock just to kill and eat, that’s your fight to pick with Mother Nature. But let’s stop waving a piece of steak in a vegetarians face, it’s not funny, and were not all peace lovers. I will hurt you.

Life’s tough, why make it tougher.

Lucy McLeod

Emily Steele

DESIGNED BY BEN MITCHELL

T

o date this week I have spent 48 minutes on Monday, 32 minutes on Tuesday and 72 minutes on Wednesday trying to find a park. Collating my data for the semester so far I have averaged 25.4 minutes every morning finding a parking space.

Welcome my friends, to the final ever Dickies Dilemma, and fittingly I will go out on the same note on which I came in: complaining about parking.

I am lucky enough to have in my possession both a University of Newcastle staff parking permit and a University of Newcastle student parking permit.

This is by no means illegal or clever, simply a family benefit. Every morning I have arrived prior to the recommended 9am, and every morning I have been unable to find a space.

When I was growing up I always associated a university with the learned: those in society who embraced problems and used their sizeable intellects to solve said problems. Those who we look to when we want to find a new or better way to do something.

“A parking permit isn’t a license to park, it’s a license to hunt” Why then would there be a notably lesser amount of car spaces than there are students at the university?

Far from a deeply complex problem, this is a basic mathematical error.

I remember speaking to a local business owner about the problems currently facing Newcastle, and he provided some great insight. “You cut your cloth and you spend what you have to spend,” he said. I see parallels with the current parking problem: don’t sell 5000 parking permits if you have 1000 spaces.

Thankfully I had my thinking cap on today and managed to provide some better alternatives to university parking: Catch a taxi - from my house in Kotara it is estimated

by Newcastle Taxis that I will pay a mere $27 a trip!

Twice a day it will only cost a mere $54 to get to and from this fine academic institute without any issues of parking!

Catch the bus- this seems the next logical idea, but buses aren’t frequent enough to avoid at least an extra hour and a half travelling as well as $4.40 each way. Coupled with the infamous student budget this is more expensive than petrol.

Walk- according to Google Maps it will only take me 1 hour and 44 minutes to walk, which on the average Wednesday could almost save me time! I would also increase my cardiovascular fitness and the aesthetic

appearance of my legs. Maybe students should start walking to university in the weeks leading up to summer or festival season in order to increase fitness levels.

But readers, critics, parking fanatics and university staff have all overlooked the obvious solution. One that is both affordable and simple.

Find a trustworthy monkey, train him to drive and offer him two bananas a day to drop you to and from university. With the current Woolworths (product placement) banana price hovering on $3.48 a Kilo, this equates to roughly 63c a banana, only $1.26 a day!

While you will clearly need to use fuel to go into the wild/zoo and catch this monkey, potentially even an overseas trip, it surely is a wise investment.

Back to reality.

A lecturer once put things perfectly: “A parking permit isn’t a license to park, it’s a license to hunt,” he said.

While this is somewhat jovial, it surely shouldn’t be this way.

When students are missing chunks of one-hour tutorials and resorting to parking illegally just to get to their class, there are surely problems that need to be addressed.

Whether this means selling less parking permits every year in a “first in best dressed” scenario or finding land and money to build bigger complexes, something has got to give.

“Why then would there be a notably lesser amount of car spaces than there are students at the university?

Far from a deeply complex problem, this is a basic mathematical error.”

Linking back to the famous John Lennon song: imagine a UoN with ample parking. Imagine a Stalkerspace not covered in complaints about parking. Imagine not having to park on the Hunter side and sweat up a storm walking to the ICT in seven minutes (my personal best).

Imagine not risking an $80 fine just so that you can hear about your assessment due next week.

Imagine.

On this note I leave you Yak readers, I hope you have enjoyed reading Dickies Dilemma as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Keep your goon ratios strong, your dance moves atrocious and your academic life enjoyable.

As Kevin Rudd once said to me (self-promotion)…

No bullshit.

DESIGNED BY ANNELIESE WILD

26 Yak Magazine - May 2013

And how would the band describe their shows? Their May tour will see them accompanied by Melbourne singer Courtney Barnett, with Paul hoping the audience will “forget everything for a few hours and get transported somewhere else.”

He believes the best shows happen when the audience feels “united” in something.

Something For Kate also work hard in making sure each show has a new and original element to it. The band might “re-work” an old song to make it sound fresh to the ears of both the crowds and the band. Having so many past albums mean they have a wide range of songs to choose from, and the band has the freedom of never having to repeat identical sets.

Jacqui Scolari talks to Australian rock royalty, Something for Kate about their upcoming tour and maintaining the rage after nearly two decades in the business.

W

hen I found out that I was interviewing Paul Dempsey, lead singer and songwriter of Something For Kate, I began to do some research. After finding out the band was named after Paul’s dog (naww!) I also discovered that Leave Your Soul to Science is their first studio album in five years. Paul, along with band mates Clint Hyndman and Stephanie Ashworth, are known for singing about such topics as artificial intelligence and time travel, so I was curious to see what he had to say about the new album and their latest exploits.

While Paul had been busy releasing his solo album Everything Is True, he said the band really felt like doing another album.

To my surprise, the reaction of their fans was not something the band thought

about when making Leave Your Soul to Science. Instead, Dempsey tried to keep things as simple as possible. “It was totally relaxed. Any band hopes that your record is going to be well received but we weren’t worried about who we were making it for.”

Instead, Dempsey spent his time garnering inspiration from the things he saw on the streets while living in New York for two years.

“New York’s such an amazing place …

You can just sit on a park bench and watch people all day long and get tons of ideas,” said Paul.

Experiences like meeting a homeless person at his local subway station “leave a mark”. These instances are things that constantly cross his mind while recording.

This gratitude also extends to the people he works with. Not only has he been able to do “a bit of everything” throughout his career, Something for Kate has collaborated with a number of different people over the years, some of who have left the band members a little star-struck.

“We toured with David Bowie a while ago and it was the highlight of my life. Even though he’s been playing for decades he still gets on stage every single night and puts on the most incredible shows.”

Since releasing their debut album, Elsewhere for Eight Minutes in 1997, Paul has seen the music landscape change in front of his eyes. “Nobody pays for music anymore,” he said, “and our relationship with music is completely different to what it was.”

However, he believes that there will always be music to be made and listened to. “There’s still as much amazing music out there as there ever was, and there always will be.”

For those of you who still want to try and make it big in the music business, Paul has only one piece of advice: Don’t wait.

“Don’t wait around for some sort of big break. Play and play as often as you can.

The most natural way for a band to find an audience is to build it themselves, and the way to do that is to play in front of people- as often as you can. Word of mouth is still the best way to do anything.”

Don’t miss out on your chance to see Australian rock royalty in the flesh. Get to Bar on the Hill on May 30 to catch the gig. Tickets on sale now from the Godfrey Tanner Bar, Bar on the Hill, The Rock Shop and www.bigtix.com.au.

$30.00 U Member $32.50 UoN Student $37.50 Guest

Yak Magazine - May 2013

27

DESIGNED BY HANNAH SUNDERLAND

+ FREE pool

FEATURING #HASHTAG DJs

+ FREE buses in to town

EVERY WEDNESDAY OF SEMESTER facebook.com/baronthehill

Do you have any words of wisdom to live by?

Fake it until you make it.

Your new stand up show is called ‘My Ego is Better than Your Ego’. What is so good about your ego?

Nothing. The title is ironic; I think it’s funny to brag about how humble you are. My ego is actually all over the place; sometimes it’s too big and sometimes it’s too small. It’s very needy.

What’s the best and worst heckle you’ve experienced during your stand up career?

The best heckle wasn’t even really a heckle, just some audience interaction. It was from this 72-year-old guy during this big show I was doing about a break up. I was making fun of old people and then he just sort of agreed with the

philosophy of the show. He then told me that no matter what, you just have to move on with life and the crowd just erupted into applause and it was really lovely. My worst heckle was having a tennis ball thrown at me, it was actually from a university crowd as well.

Would you rather have pineapples for hands or have everything you eat taste like pineapple for the rest of your life?

I think it has got to be to have everything tasting like pineapple. My mind went to sex immediately; with pineapple hands you wouldn’t get a lot of action and it would be a nightmare to have sex with. Also, if you put things in your mouth during sex, they would taste like pineapple so that would be kind of better than normal.

If you had the opportunity to hijack a time machine, where or when would you take it?

I think I would go to the Renaissance. That seems like a pretty cool thing and that answer makes me sound like I’m cultured, so I’ll say that.

DESIGNED BY HANNAH SUNDERLAND

30 Yak Magazine - May 2013

With Matthew Hatton

Y

ou have all, no doubt, heard about Kickstarter and the rise of crowd funding. If, by chance, you have been living under a rock for the last two years or so, Kickstarter is the website where you give money to people so that they can launch their cutting-edge new business venture. In exchange, they promise to send you whatever shitty knick-knack it is they want to start producing.

But it’s not all sunshine, roses and the re-birth of cottage industry. Funding businesses through Kickstarter poses some rather large and very important questions.

The first question is one of understanding. Do the people who give money to Kickstarter projects understand that they are, in fact, investing in a business? This issue often comes to the fore when a project, despite reaching its funding goal on Kickstarter, fails to deliver the “reward” that was “promised” to those who backed the project. The calls go out for consumer protection groups to step in and right this horrible wrong that has befallen so many innocent people.

But these calls could not be further misplaced. When you back a project on Kickstarter, you are not engaging in the typical exchanging of your hard-earned dollars for a good or service; you are making an investment, which carries risk.

Sometimes those risks become a reality and businesses fail to get off the ground.

The second issue has to do with how this sort of capital raising is handled as part of the business’ financials. There have been many nasty things said about the Australian Taxation Office because the ATO dared to remind companies of their taxation obligations.

“The calls go out for consumer protection groups to step in and right this horrible wrong that has befallen so many innocent people.”

It is worth pointing out that many of the projects found on Kickstarter, and the other crowd funding sites, are commercial enterprises and not airy-fairy bits of altruism looking to better humanity just because they’re nice people.

So, just a reminder, when you next see that slick, wellproduced video asking you to invest your money into a business venture through Kickstarter you should probably spend a bit more time than you would deciding what you’ll have for lunch when you’re considering whether you want to become an investor.

L

by Kate Ellis

ately, I have heard no shortage of complaint, from everything to the usual parking woes to federal government economics. Now please, before I go on, don’t mistake me for a union-flag wielding Labor supporter.

I’m not. Nor am I a fan of the ‘Budgie Smuggler’. But in the past few days I have sat quietly while numerous groups of people from all walks of life take great pleasure in criticising this nations financial management.

Whilst there are a plethora of policy areas where I would love to slap both Julia Gillard and Tony Abbott in the face with some common sense, economic policy is one area where people seem to be over looking the facts of the world stage.

Now I am no economist, but the NBN provides a case in point. Both parties agree our broadband network needs to be improved, however they disagree on cost.

Labor says its NBN will cost $37.4 billion, the Coalition, on the other hand, thinks the Labor party failed high school mathematics and it will actually cost $90 billion.

Meanwhile Tony Abbott and his bundle of braniacs have come up with a broadband plan coming in $17 billion cheaper than Labor.

Everywhere I go, political rhetoric seems to follow me chanting, ‘the Government can’t keep up this level of spending and be financially viable’.

Let’s not forget the world’s economic situation here people. Banks are folding, nations are implementing fiscal policies and we are still reeling from a series of market crashes and the global financial crisis. But, International Monetary Fund data shows that Australia has a history of few bank failures and financial crises, and the government has a strong framework for financial safety nets and crisis management. As a nation we even emerged out of the financial crisis as one of the top nations in the world. In. The. World.

I feel this desire to throw our hate stones come down to the Aussie ability to whinge about positively everything.

Just this morning I commented about the quality of the iconic meat pie from Darby’s not being the best. Uhm, hello? Dumb ass, ever heard the saying you get what you pay for? You could buy one of those pies from money you found glued to the footpath.

Our obsession with the ‘McWhinge’ has led to a lack of knowledge about what is actually happening, in favour of having a beef with everything from the beef in our pies to the beef of our government payments.

DESIGNED BY HANNAH SUNDERLAND

Yak Magazine - May 2013

31

THIS month we asked the kids on campus...

• If you could have any super power what would it be?

Name: Bradford

Name: Joshua

Name: Mallee

Degree: Science - Chemistry

Age: 23

Age: 18

Super Power: The ability to manipulate matter and energy… can fly, make things combust etc. … I’d be the Avatar. The more knowledge you have of matter, the more powerful you are.

Degree: B Education

Degree: Astro-bionautical

Name: Tilly

Name: Priscilla

Name: Laura

Degree: Primary Teaching

Degree: Primary Teaching

Degree: Secondary

Super Power: Being able

Super Power: The ability

to speak and understand every language in the world.

facebook.com/yakmagazine

Super Power: Ginger!

to fly – so much more efficient.

twitter.com/yakmagazine

quantum physics

Super Power: No gag reflex

Teaching

Super Power: Invisibility

yakmagazine@newcastle.edu.au