Learning to Prioritize Yourself Bill, a small business owner, came into his first therapy session unsure what he was going to talk about. Both his business partner and his spouse had been urging him to go “talk to somebody” for months, and he only showed up because he wanted to be able to say he had tried it, even if it didn’t do anything. He wanted to get them off his back. In one hour, Bill felt more seen and heard than he has felt in years. He processed how isolating it is to run his business and the immense responsibility he felt toward all the people who worked for him. The fact they all relied on his business being profitable to provide the financial resources for their families was a responsibility he took very seriously, and one that he carried with him daily as he made choices for the business and for his family. Often, he would forgo family vacations so he could ensure his employees could have time off and the business wouldn’t skip a beat.
would have more opportunities to sit for an hour with someone who’s whole job was to give him their undivided attention, use their perspective to help point out patterns, barriers, and strengths, and to help him sort through the little stuff that feels big so he can focus on what’s truly important to him. With a recurring appointment at the same time and same day each week, Bill did something he previously hadn’t done: prioritized himself. It was easier to think of setting an hour aside each week to focus on himself when he knew he would have someone skilled to help him sort through all the things on his plate. The idea of setting that time aside once a week at his desk to read or work on himself never seemed to manifest; it was a big task to do alone while many other things are more pressing. But with the help of his therapist, he began to fall in love with his business, family, and life again.
Bill processed how much he missed spending time with his spouse and children, and he realized that he had several people at his business who have been wanting to grow and take on more responsibilities. He left that session feeling a little bit more in control of his current state, and feeling hopeful that he
Jessica Wilkerson, MA, LMFT 104464 is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Chico, CA. She is an EMDR clinician as well as the owner/operator and clinical supervisor of Inspired Life Counseling. For more information, visit www.jessicawilkerson.com and www.inspiredlifechico.com. Jessica can also be reached via phone at (530) 809-1702
WRITTEN BY TIM MILHORN AND PHOTOGRAPHED BY BEAU VANDERMATE
Back to school at Little Red Hen
959 East Ave, Chico (530)894-1300 littleredhen.org 37
