The Apple of Grenada

To paraphrase the late, great comedian Mitch Hedberg, “The pomegranate: for people who like 1,000 of the same thing.” Now, your pomegranate may not have 1,000 seeds, but it will have on average between 250 and 1,400. Those tiny red jewels resemble rubies ensconced in beige stone, but when you cut into them, the juice is a bright, visceral red that stains your fingers, your face, your lips, or anything it touches. So, how do you extract the seeds without your hands looking like you decided, on a lark, to ram your fingers down the garbage disposal?

Well, a bowl of water helps. First, you have to cut the exterior. Can’t get around that (unless you want to try and peel the rind off with your teeth). After scoring the fruit into quarters, place it in the bowl of water and begin the separation process. The seeds sink, the inedible pulp floats to the top, and the juice is diluted and not as stainy. You can also freeze the pomegranate and dissect it. Or you can cut the fruit in half and hold it over a bowl and whack the back side with a wooden spoon. You can also…just throw it against the kitchen wall as hard as you can while screaming…! (After all, pomegranate means “grenade” in French.) Or you can go to the store and buy the seeds in handy glass containers all ready to eat. Of course, that costs about a nickel a seed.

However you end up with the seeds— remember, copping out and buying the juice is cheating—what you gain for all your labor is rewarding both in taste and nutrition. Pomegranate has been used in traditional medicine for centuries and is rich in vitamins A, C, K, and B5. It’s full of polyphenols and flavonoids. It’s also great for sun-induced skin damage due to its antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties. Pomegranates are also a rich source of soluble and insoluble fiber. This helps your bowel movements become as smooth as a goose’s out at California Park!

The biggest benefit of pomegranate products is the positive effect they have on fighting cancer. Studies have shown their effectiveness in fighting colorectal cancer, prostate, and other cancers through the key ingredient urolithin A, which eradicates damaged T-cells and helps promote new ones. Further studies indicate pomegranate hinders various tumors’ growth and immensely helps the immune system. Also, (cover your children’s ears!) it can also help alleviate erectile dysfunction.

Whatever reason you have for consuming pomegranates, its benefits far outweigh the challenge of extracting the seeds from the husk. A last piece of advice is to NEVER bite into a pomegranate! The bitterness is beyond comparison.

In the last issue, Anthony Bourdain was mistakenly identified as “Andrew” Bourdain. It was not his completely unknown and never before spoken of brother; I swear it was the spell check’s fault! I sometimes hate it. Can I get an amen!!?