JOY TO ALL MEN AND PEACE TO MANKIND
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Fr. Stuart Chipolina writes: Dear Friends...
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The
omeone told me after one of my homilies ‘Don’t push forgiveness too much.’
It’s very hard to forgive. I know that is true because I too have issues with forgiveness in my own life as so many of us do. We sometimes find examples of forgiveness in our lives, when people we hold dear, have let things that we have done go – especially in the family. Jesus himself was the example of forgiveness on the cross. It is a tough call to forgive big injustices, and we often can’t. The Cross is exalted as the sign of Jesus’ forgiveness of the world. A big challenge in our life, in both the ordinary, everyday hurts and bitternesses, as well as the big ones. What helps me to forgive? Gratitude for the blessings in my own life! Grateful people can forgive more easily. Daily prayer always includes prayer of thanks. Otherwise the other side of life takes over. And if God has forgiven me, I will want to give
Upon this Rock magazine is published monthly by EuropeAxess Media, Gibraltar. Editor: Fr. S. Chipolina: editor@ uponthisrock.gi. Production Editor: A. Sargent angela@ europeaxess.com. Upon this Rock magazine is entirely supported by advertising and
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the liberation I have received to someone else, especially if that person has hurt me. Our daily prayer may also include forgiving the harms and hurts of the day.
The biggest challenge of Christianity is to forgive – people, nations, all sorts. The church is called to be the community of the forgiving and forgiven.
A good phrase used sometimes is ‘God forgive them’. When we cannot forgive of ourselves we can say the words of Jesus ‘God forgive them’. A good prayer and a prayer for all times and all ages. It can be the beginning of freedom and forgiveness; and entering into the grace of Jesus Christ who on the cross is the forgiveness of our sins.
donations. It is run in liaison with the Catholic Diocese of Gibraltar by EuropeAxess Media Ltd. as a not-for-profit project. For Advertisers: This magazine is hand-delivered to homes, churches, hospitals and many businesses around Gibraltar every month. To discuss your advertising requirements, or promote your church group or charity, call Tel: +350 200 79335 email: angela@europeaxess. com. Editorial is selected by EuropeAxess Media in liaison with the Catholic Diocese of Gibraltar. Neither of these parties is responsible for the accuracy of the information contained herein, nor do the views and opinions expressed herein necessarily
reflect the views and opinions of either party. Advertisers are not endorsed by virtue of advertising in this magazine. EuropeAxess Media Ltd. reserves the right to refuse space to any submissions or advertisements. Efforts have been made to establish copyright owners of images, but if we have used your material, and have not credited you, please contact us to discuss restoration. The magazine is online at uponthisrock.gi. You’ll find exclusive Christian gifts in the WebShop. COVER PIC: Singing the ‘Our Father’ in Spanish at the Unity Mass at St. Paul’s Parish Church Photo: A.Sargent
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TRUE CROSS This is why we ‘exalt’ the cross – receiving in joy the forgiveness of God and knowing God as total forgiveness. We honour the cross not just because a Saviour died on it, but because the Son of God forgave all.
The Feast of the Exultation of the Holy Cross. Quick Facts
• Date: September 14 • Readings: Numbers 21:4b-9; Psalm 78:1bc2, 34-35, 36-87, 38; Philippians 2:6-11; John 3:13-17 • Prayers: The Sign of the Cross • Other Names for the Feast: Triumph of the Cross, Elevation of the Cross, Roodmas, Holy Cross • Image: Adam Elsheimer Der Frankfurter Kreuzaltar
Jesus help me to forgive. Give me the courage to forgive. Make me humble to be able to forgive. God bless you Fr Stuart
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istory of the Feast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross. Fr. Stuart is writing about the meaning of the Feast that was held last month, apparently it is only celebrated every seven years, so it is worth finding out a bit more and considering the way it developed. The story of the True Cross became extremely popular and many altar piece artworks were commissioned depicting the story in panels, like the one shown above.
After the death and resurrection of Christ, both the Jewish and Roman authorities in Jerusalem made efforts to obscure the Holy Sepulchre, Christ’s tomb in the garden near the site of His crucifixion. Earth had been mounded up over the site, and pagan temples built on top of it. The Cross on which Christ had died had been hidden (tradition said) by the authorities somewhere in the vicinity. According to tradition, first mentioned by Saint Cyril of Jerusalem in 348, Saint Helena, nearing the end of her life, was
inspired to travel to Jerusalem in 326 to excavate the Holy Sepulchre and attempt to locate the True Cross. Three crosses were found there and Saint Helena and Saint Macarius, the bishop of Jerusalem, assuming that one was the True Cross and the other two belonged to the thieves crucified alongside Christ, devised an experiment to determine which was the True Cross. The body of a dead man was brought to the place where the three crosses were found, and laid upon each cross. The
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True Cross restored the dead man to life. In celebration of the discovery of the Holy Cross, Constantine ordered the construction of churches at the site of the Holy Sepulchre and on Mount Calvary. Those churches were dedicated on September 13 and 14, 335, and shortly thereafter the Feast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross began to be celebrated on the latter date. The feast slowly spread from Jerusalem to other churches, until, by the year 720, the celebration was universal. Continued overleaf
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Looking back to 10th of September
National Day at the
Represent The TRUE CROSS P Continued from page 3 In the early seventh century, the Persians conquered Jerusalem, and the Persian king Khosrau II captured the True Cross and took it back to Persia. After Khosrau’s defeat by Emperor Heraclius II, Khosrau’s own son had him assassinated in 628 and returned the True Cross to Heraclius. In 629, Heraclius, having initially taken the True Cross to Constantinople, decided to restore it to Jerusalem. Tradition says that he carried the Cross on his own back, but when he attempted to enter the church on Mount Calvary, a strange force stopped him. Patriarch Zacharias
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of Jerusalem, seeing the emperor struggling, advised him to take off his royal robes and crown and to dress in a penitential robe instead. As soon as Heraclius took Zacharias’ advice, he was able to carry the True Cross into the church. For some centuries, a second feast, the Invention of the Cross, was celebrated on May 3 in the Roman and Gallican churches, following a tradition that marked that date as the day on which Saint Helena discovered the True Cross. In Jerusalem, however, the finding of the Cross was celebrated from the beginning on September 14.
lans are in hand for Father Stuart to lead the celebrations of the Feast of Our Lady of Europe at the International Mass in Lourdes in May 2015.
In previous years Gibraltarians have had the honour of significant participation in the events, last year we led the candle lit procession (front cover Upon This Rock 156). It is indeed something to be grateful for, that the devotion to Our Lady of Europe should be given such recognition, and our small country be awarded so much respect at this International venue. Bookings are currently being taken for travel by coach to Lourdes-
and forward to 5th of May 2015
e
Shrine Sponsored by
M
sgr Paul Bear spoke to a full patio on National Day with many of the visiting dignitaries also attending. In his homily Fr. Paul emphasized the importance of gratitude, how we must always be grateful for the constant intercession of Our Lady of Europe. Before the final prayer, Chief Minister Fabian Picardo spoke of the great loss of a friend of Gibraltar, Jim Dobbin MP who passed away a few days earlier, and had been due attend this Mass at the Shrine. At the end of the Service Mayor Adolfo Canepa and his wife, Julie, placed a rose before the Statue of Our Lady of Europe.
Gibraltar Lourdes Travel Arrangements 3-10 May 2015
via Madrid, but air travel may be an option if sufficient people are interested. The pilgrimage will run from 3 May to 10 May 2015, for more information, to discuss travel options and to se-
cure a place, please contact St. Paul’s Church Tel: 20077135 or call Richard’s Mobile: 54714000, if busy or unavailable leave your name and number or email: bishoppa@gibdiocese.org
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Graham Kendric
dreaming of a holy knight
Chris Pitaluga writes
The Christian Mission Trust A Truly Local Missionary Charity
In coplusncert with band guest Philippa Hannah
Please pray with us for the spiritual success of Hea rtBeat!
Lord Jesus, Thank you for music! My heart is lifted up toYou and inspired to praise Your greatness and Your goodn ess to me through music and song. I pray, Lord, that I may come closer to You this Christmas and that You may be at the centre of my family at this happy Lord, help me always to time. have a song in my heart to be able to thank You for all You have done for me. In Jesus’ name! Amen.
An initiative of
WWW.GRAHAMKENDRIC K.CO.UK
dreaming of a holy night Graham Kendrick
Supporting
INSTORE NOW!
ALSO AVAILABLE AT WWW.PU RASHOP.COM
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it’s not a Catholic organisation? Correct, it’s not. I established the Trust in 2002 and my early vision for it was that it should not limit its activities to Catholics only. The choice to include other Christian denominations in Gibraltar was quite deliberate. I asked Bishop Charles Caruana to help me see it through and he was very open to this vision,
as he was to many positive things, including the ecumenical dimension. My previous experience of working with non-Catholics Christians had been a very positive one during the ‘Rock Alive’ Mission in 1990. In fact, to my distress it was a few Catholics who’d caused some difficulty, at that time, by trying to insist on doing things the Catholic way, rather than considering the wider mission to the whole community. Despite that, I felt, and still feel, strongly that if we are to make efforts to reach out to those whose need of Jesus is great but whose experience of Him is either minimal or non-existent, we need to incorporate all the Christian brethren so that the world will know by our unity that the Father sent Him (John 17:21) and that He is alive in the world today. So it was, that we committed the terms of the constitution of
CH
t does what it says on the tin: The Christian Mission Trust was established over 12 years ago to provide financial assistance to Christians who have a missionary goal. During that time, the CMT has helped over 100 individuals and organisations in their mission to spread the Christian Gospel, both in Gibraltar and abroad. It’s possible that many readers will be at once surprised and curious about an organisation that, for starters, gives away money and, of all people, to Christians. Also, does that mean
R ISTI A
the Trust to include the Catholic Bishop, Anglican Dean and the Methodist Minister, all of whom throughout its existence have been entitled to sit on the Board, an opportunity of which they have availed themselves. However, in order to ensure that the Board’s composition accurately reflects the proportions of the local Christian constituency, we stipulated that the remainder of the Board’s seven members would be Catholics. I’m delighted to say that throughout the Trust’s existence we have all got on with the job of providing funding to Christian missionaries impartially, analytically, prayerfully and, just as importantly, convivially. So, what does the Trust do? We meet two or three times a year to consider requests from local Christian groups and individuals for financial assistance towards avowedly missionary initiatives. Applications from nonGibraltar based Christians are not considered. We also do not consider applications for events or initiatives that are Christian but which do not have a missionary or evangelistic dimension (for
FUNDING AVAILABLE
US
T
N
MIS
The Christian Mission Trust provides local Christians with donations for evangelistic SI O N T R initiatives and outreaches. The Trust is ecumenical and has provided money to many groups, individuals and churches during the last 12 years. It is run by a Board of Trustees We invite applications for funding from anyone who wishes to launch an evangelistic initiative or who needs support for an existing Christian missionary activity. Please write to: The Chairman, Christian Mission Trust, 4 South Pavilion Road, Gibraltar.
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Magazine available free online with additional articles.
More about the Divine Mercy Parish Italian Pilgrimage with Fr. François
To be a PILGRIM A relaxed Pilgrimage with plenty of time to ponder.
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lans for the 2015 Pilgrimage to Italy next year have been drawn up with a special regard to the Pilgrim’s need for rest, with plenty of opportunity for spiritual renewal. There will, for instance, be only one Hotel change, with the destinations where the group will pay homage to Padre Pio and St. Francis and visit the holy house of Loreto, all being within easy reach. The group will make Assisi their H.Q. with plenty of free time for exploring, or sitting quietly soaking in the atmosphere of the basilica or chapels. Fr. François Sainte Marie who will lead the pilgrimage explained, “The group might see less but hopefully experience more. They will for instance hear from the Capuchin Friars, who hold firm to the early rule of St. Francis.” No doubt their words will provide food for thought, for those who seek a deeper relationship with our Lord. example, we would not provide a donation to a flag-day or other charitable objective). Our financial support is essentially for those who want to spread the Good News of Jesus from or within Gibraltar. These have included people who have undertaken a course overseas in discipleship training and evangelisation or a course in Christian music for the support of a local church. They have included Gibraltar-based individuals who have reached out to other parts of the world for works of charity, mission and service. We have helped local churches and groups to undertake pilgrimages or to attend Christian conferences and events. The Trust has paid for preachers to visit Gibraltar to speak at retreats. It has contributed on several occasions to the Emmaus youth group’s fund-raising to attend World Youth Day with the Pope. The CMT has organised events of its own, most notably the HeartBeat Music Festival at Christmas 2009 during which, in addition to promoting pre-
This must be the ultimate goal of anybody taking part in a pilgrimage, so Fr. François will be leading pilgrims in spiritual exercises, and they will hear Mass daily. Everyone has a different concept of ‘pilgrimage’ and Fr. François’ is more relaxed than many. “The Italians share our love of family and quality time spent chatting on the terrace with a good cup of coffee”, he explained “the timing of the pilgrimage will make this easier, being off season, when there
existing musical events such as carol-singing and concerts in the various parishes and churches, the Board of the Trust organised and helped to stage a concert given by well-known evangelist and musician Graham Kendrick at the old Queen’s Cinema. The work of the Trust, however, is usually quieter and more personal and we have been delighted to help so many people over the years who have been able to fulfil Godly works and intentions in many places. Our work continues today and the Christian Mission Trust welcomes applications for funding from all Christian groups and individuals in Gibraltar on whose heart God has placed a desire to undertake a specifically missionary activity, any that reaches out to those who are un-churched, those who are yet either to hear or understand the Christian Gospel. See our advert opposite if you would like to talk to us about something you’ve had in mind for a while to which you feel God is calling you. We’d love to hear from you.
are fewer visitors to Assisi.” Fr. François says he “hopes that the pilgrims will be able to find a new perspective on life after considering the inspirational works of St. Francis and Padre Pio.” For travel details see the September issue of Upon This Rock.
HELP NEEDED
The Soup kitchen At Nazereth House URGENTLY needs supplies of food & volunteers mornings 10am - 12 am. Please Take Food to Kitchen in the Patio behind the IRON Gate at Nazereth house where you can also ask about helping out
Retreat on Pilgrimage to
Fatima
Join us on our annual Cursillo & St. Paul’s Parish 4 Night pilgrimage led by Fr. Stuart 19-23 FEBRUARY 2015 by Coach
€250p/p
Single Suppliment €50p/p 4 Nights Fatima
(departing midnight Wed 18/Thu 19 FEB)
Deposit by 31 Oct 2014 €50 Non-refundable Balance by 15 Jan 2015 €200p/p Twin €250 p/p Single
For more information or bookings please contact St. Paul’s Church T: 20077135 Richard Mobile: 54714000 Email: bishoppa@gibdiocese.org If busy or unavailable please leave your name and number, or send email.
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Back to School
Testing
Darren Torres lives out a double vocation in the R.E. Department at Westside School
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was thinking that we should hear from a real teacher to continue our mini-series on Education, when a familiar name popped up in my email inbox ‘Darren Torres via ‘LinkedIn’’, a few weeks later, over coffee this came to pass. Who is Darren Torres? “I’m a teacher! I have always wanted to teach, for me it is not
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just a job, it is a vocation. And to be able to teach Religious Education, well, then the subject goes hand in hand with my faith.” Where do you work? I am Assistant to the Year 8 and 9 Coordinator at Westside School. What sort of hours do you work? I am always working, I never
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stop! Even during the seven week summer holiday the first and last weeks are used up by school work, and so the holiday is effectively five weeks, even though we have that long summer break there is no flexibility. Christmas and Easter holidays are also largely spent working. In this last week before school started I worked until 3.30 or 4am on more than one occasion. How do you fit such a demanding job around family life? When the family wants to go to the beach or sit by the
pool I go with them, but I will have a pile of books with me and sit marking them. There is coursework to mark, classwork to mark and reports to write. There is no relief, if you cannot take a class 30 girls will miss out. When are you able to witness to your faith while teaching R.E.? Only when invited to through a direct question by a student. This may happen during the course of a lesson or in those moments when the class is breaking up, and everyone is leaving, a student may come up to ask
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Interview A Sargent
Mr. Torres on R.E. + I.T. about something that they would like clarified or some crisis in faith that they are experiencing, for instance, how can God allow young people to die. Most of them know that I am a Catholic because they have seen me helping at Mass as I am a Eucharistic minister. Otherwise, we talk about prayer, we talk about meditation, we talk about the Rosary, but we do not actually pray in class. We give a broad overview of what are called the 6 ‘World Religions’ Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Sikism and Judaism. Has the school become a secular institution? Education in Gibraltar is in the process of a generational change. Formerly it was entirely Catholic orientated, if a pupil did not know what Gospel had been read at Mass the previous Sunday, they would be punished. Now we give a broad overview of all religions. The subject is now known as ‘Religious Education’, not ‘Religious Instruction’ as it was previously. The school is no longer a Catholic school, but it is not a secular school either, it is not a-religious, it is more interfaith. You will not find crucifixes in the classrooms, except for the R.E. department, but time and respect is given to each religious group for their needs. For instance the wearing of the headscarf, this has become part of the school uniform for girls who wish to wear it. During
“Interactive whiteboards allow us to show slides or video clips, basically anything you can do on your computer.” Ramadam, some girls may prefer to stay in a classroom than be outside with those eating snacks. In this way we practice tolerance and accommodate one another’s beliefs. Are there opportunities for the Catholic girls to pray together? We have a School Mass on Holy Days of Obligation, when the Catholic Christians attend Mass before coming to School. Does the R.E. Department take the girls on school trips? We visit many places of worship in Gibraltar: St. Bernards, the Shrine, the Mosque, the Synagogue, the Hindu Temple, St. Andrews, the Anglican Cathedral and the Cathedral of St. Mary the Crowned. In addition every two years we take a group to Lourdes. How has new technology affected teaching? We use a variety of different tools in the classroom, there is still a place for Books, Cutouts and Bibles, we teach the students how to look something up in the Bible for instance, and we have a facsimile Torah.
But there are two revolutionary aspects to our work, the first is the interactive white board, which is a huge touch screen in the classroom that allows you to do anything you can do on your computer, so we can run slide shows
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and video clips, but not every classroom has this equipment, so your lesson plan has always to have a back-up if the room you intended using is not available. Also, not all pupils respond to media in the same way,
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Back to School
Testing Mr. Torres on R.E. + I.T. so you have to adapt your tools to meet their needs. The good teacher does not stall, but learns to cope with different situations as they arise. The other innovation that has had a huge impact is EDMODO online. Founded in Chicago, USA, when two school district employees set out to bridge the gap between how students live their lives and how they learn in school, Edmodo was created to bring education into a 21st century environment, it is now the biggest social learning network in the world, dedicated to connecting all learners with the people and resources they need to reach their full potential. I use it all the time. We are also just starting to implement Carrot Rewards, which is a free online resource for schools,
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allowing you to reward your pupils using both printed and online rewards, its fun for the students and helps involve their parents in their education. Anne Mesilio has written about bullying on the following pages does this happen in your school? Yes, there is bullying. We are aware of it. How do you deal with bullying? The school has a ‘Zero Tolerance’ policy, this means we will always tackle those involved, we have a duty to let them know that this behavior is not acceptable, but we will always look for the underlying problem.
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Perhaps the perpetrator has low self-esteem, or other issues. We will always look for the source of the problem. We work with outside agencies and may refer the individual for counseling for instance. Now cyber bullying is a big problem, on ‘Facebook’, ‘Snapchat’, and ‘WhatsAp’ sending hurtful or abusive messages, and ‘sexting’. Here it is our duty to inform the students of the nature of the internet, how, once an image is out there, it is very difficult, if not impossible to completely erase it. We try to teach them about security settings on Facebook so they can
protect themselves. We point out the dangers in participating in sending indecent images, that it is not only morally wrong, but is also illegal, where indecent images of minors are held on their phones and shared. We also involve the Police, who will come in and talk to the students about these dangers and how they can lead to criminal proceedings. Social services may also be involved in cases of antisocial behavior. Your professionalisim and enthusiasm are clear to see Darren, may we ask you more about Education another time? Thank you! Yes of course!
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Pray, Play and have Fun Stay and PLay Group Join us for Art and Crafts, singing and story telling. 4 - 5 pm every Thursday at the Catholic Community Centre Bookshop
CHRISTIAN FAMILY MOVEMENT
ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATIONS 25th, 40th, 50th & 60th Wedding Anniversary Celebrations at the Cathedral early next year
Couples celebrating their 25th, 40th, 50th or 60th wedding anniversary in 2014 are invited to join in this celebration and renew their vows. Cut out (or photocopy if you prefer) this form and hand it in to the Catholic Bookshop next to the Cathedral of St. Mary the Crowned not later than the 16th January. (Forms will also be available at the Catholic Bookshop.)
Mr. & Mrs.: _ ________________________________________ Forenames: Husband _ ________________________________ Forenames: Wife______________________________________ NeĂŠ: ________________________________________________ Address:_____________________________________________ _ ___________________________________________________ E-mail: _ ____________________________________________ Tel. Home: _ _________________________________________ Tel. Work: __________________________________________ Mobile: _____________________________________________ Date of Marriage: ____________________________________ Church:_____________________________________________ N.B. If marriage took place outside Gibraltar please produce a copy of the marriage Certificate when handing in this form. This form should be handed in at the Cathedral bookshop or the detail or scanned form emailed to: duos@gibtelecom.net as soon as possible and not later than Friday 16th January.
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Anne Mesilio
Back to School
Sticks and Stones The Golden Rule “Love your neighbour as yourself; do unto others as you would have them do unto you; whatever is hateful to yourself, do not do to others”
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he Golden Rule, broken every five minutes everywhere, with impunity, it seems. Bullying has been around as long as anyone can remember; it existed in Ancient Greece and Rome, Medieval Europe and China, and was a theme for authors, notably Charles Dickens (1812-1870) in ‘Oliver Twist’. Bullying was the main issue here as it shows the cruelty children suffered at the hands of society. Danish Hans Christian Andersen (1805-1875) a contemporary of Dickens, (and they did meet), in his beloved tale of ‘The Ugly Duckling’ explores the issue. “How that duckling yonder
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looks; we won’t stand that”. One duckling flew up immediately and bit him in the neck. “It is too large and peculiar”, said the duck that had bitten it, “therefore it must be buffeted”. There you have it, bullying, because someone was seen to be different. As well as direct attacks, like teasing, hitting, taunting, threatening, pushing and shoving it can also be passiveby causing social isolation. This repeated verbal, physical, social or psychological aggressive behaviour is usually conducted by a single person or group intending to cause harm. Perhaps you can remember the well meant advice offered as a
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consolation to someone (even you) smarting from being bullied; “sticks and stones can break my bones, but names will never hurt me”. Names will never hurt me! Name calling like ‘carrot tops’ because of red hair, and ‘four eyes’ for someone wearing glasses seem harmless enough, but it points out the differences and it becomes ingrained with repeated use, making the person feel inferior and isolated. Bullying is a common occurrence in most schools and is a world wide problem which, until as recently as the 1970’s was regarded as a ‘rite of passage’, a transition from childhood to adulthood. The scars left by this bullying (“if you tell, we’ll get you after school”) are hidden and may have life long consequences. Bullying is defined as ‘to use superior strength or influence to intimidate someone’, typically, to force them to do something. A person is being bullied when exposed repeatedly and over time to negative actions on the part of one or more persons. It can become a cycle of torment difficult to break. This may occur in the workplace, schools, social environment, the home and universities, the potential exists everywhere. It can be written or
verbal with threats of violence; sexual harassment with intent to cause humiliation and offence; with expressions of hostility towards gender or discrimination as people are marginalised because of their race. Sibling rivalry, the jealousy, competition and fighting between brothers is as old as Cain and Abel. It got out of hand of course as Cain heaped abuse on Abel before killing him. Parents who ‘fight’ in front of their children are teaching them a negative way to communicate with others. Parents often develop a pact, whereby they won’t engage in heated arguments in front of the children but keep the discussion for a time where they can give it their full attention. This may also give both parties some ‘thinking time’ so when they come back to the issue it can be resolved much more easily, in any case. Bullying is not a new phenomenon but the prefix ‘cyber’ opens it up in ways never encountered before. The word cyber, involving computers, as in the Internet, first became known in 1991. Cyber bullying has become a new force to be reckoned with and the implications of this most unsavoury activity seem to know no bounds. Technology has given bullies fertile ground to carry out their cowardly acts from the anonymous safety of their computers. Youth in particular seem to live their lives sharing thoughts and personal information on Facebook, and other social media, without due regard to the fact that what they do online affects their whole world as digital reputations are made and ruined here. They become unwitting victims of the cyber bullies who hide behind false identities and unlike the ‘playground’ bully does not have to ambush the victim in person to deliver the threat. Messages and images can be sent 24/7 all year round and this can make it feel like there is no escape. This behaviour is alarmingly common among teens where a figure of 69% report being bullied.
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Mass For Unity
The second quarterly Mass for Unity was held at St. Paul’s Parish Church on September 17 with increased attendance from all Gibraltar’s Apostolic Groups. Fr. Stuart spoke with gusto, and his words were well received, the mass culminated in singing an Ave Maria, above. According to Child Line (UK) nearly 40,000 called last year about bullying. This is the 21st century, full of wonderful technological advances helping to make life easier, supposedly. Why, why must it be like this;
values of respect and tolerance. It encouraged communication and sharing and a sense of belonging. The values a family develops are traditionally the foundation for how children learn, grow and function in the world. Care givers are no less responsible
today and must, despite this new Internet culture, be more attentive, be ever vigilant. Everyone has the right to be respected, safe and free from violence, harassment and bullying. A life free from violence and from cruel, degrading
and inhuman treatment is a fundamental human right.
“Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked” Psalm 82:4.
“Cyber bullying involves the use of information, communication technologies such as e-mail, cell phone and pager text messages, instant messaging (IM), defamatory personal Web sites, and defamatory online personal polling Web sites, to support deliberate, repeated, and hostile behaviour by an individual or group, that is intended to harm others” (Belsey, 2004) Happy family life once centred on quality time together. It taught
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OPEN to Children: God’s GIFT
LIFE
A woman’s story of her husband’s vasectomy & reversal
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The personal testimony of Kim, a wife and mother of five…
en years ago my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of our fifth child. I pleaded with him not to do it, but the kids and I went away for the weekend while his brother took him to the appointment. That day is etched in my mind forever. I relive it often and especially when the kids reach a milestone such as graduating from school or getting their drivers license, etc. The journey has taken me down many different roads as I tried to replace the loss of my fertility. I exercised incessantly to make sure that I was always attractive and in good shape, I bordered on anorexia as my vanity took over. I lost my zeal for the Church and my vocation as a mother. I lost trust in my husband’s decisions for the family, but all the while
I never expressed my heartache because the vasectomy changed my husband in many ways as well. He became very focused on his work, his career advancement and the money that he could make under the guise of “providing” for the family. He continued to seek his own will and not that of God in his decisions, and I felt afraid of the control that he had over me. In hindsight, taking away someone’s fertility against their will is one of the most controlling things that anyone can do. I vacillated between hope and despair because I knew the Church’s teaching about married love and the sacrament of marriage, and I wished with my entire being that my husband could love me like “Christ loved the Church.” To make a long story short, I ended up depressed and
hopeless, but for the love of my children, I never outwardly showed it. I sought help, ended up on anti-depressants, and went through the motions of having a great life. After all, I have five wonderful kids, a huge house, lavish vacations and plenty of money. Why would I not love entertaining myself with
By One Soul Staff manicures, shopping and playing tennis? Nothing satisfied the hole that was left by the vasectomy. It meant so much to me to be open to God’s will for my life. I have always wanted to do everything that God asked of me and would give up every material item, every luxury to be able to do so. My husband, on the other hand, after the vasectomy was unable to open himself to God’s plan, and I now see this as due to his being cut off from the grace he needed because of the sin. Five years ago I started saying the rosary every day again, and I always wanted to ask for his conversion but instead offered it “for those who needed it most.” I realized that he could never love me the way I needed and that only God could fill that hole. It took me a lot of prayer and a couple of panic attacks to ask him to confess his vasectomy so that our family could have the line of grace restored to us. He did and he felt forgiven, but I still felt that there was damage that needed repaired, but I never spoke of it. In our families, you don’t talk about your feelings, so I continued to keep it inside and continued to live in general
HOPE
cordially invites all
Expectant Mothers Family and Friends to
MASS
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editorial selected by Dr. Monique Risso confession because the first time he confessed was at a general absolution, and he knew that wasn’t enough. We went to confession together, and he told the priest that he was planning on a reversal, and it was then that he finally felt that he was doing the right thing. I still have anxiety because I will always wonder why I had to suffer for ten years, but I know that something wonderful will come out of this. My husband is still not “open to children”, and we will practice NFP, but at least God can give us a miracle if he chooses. In his mercy he will reestablish the grace that I have longed for. Tomorrow, August 1st 2008, almost ten years to the day that the hole in my heart was made, it will be repaired. Pray for the success of this operation, I know that St. Bernadette and Our Lady and all the angels will be celebrating this long and hard fought battle.
Guidance on the use of The Creighton Model System is available in Gibraltar from: Dr Monique Risso MB ChB MRCGP General Practitioner and NaPro Technology Physician at the Specialist Medical Clinic, Unit 7, First Floor, ICC Building, Casemates Square, Gibraltar. Tel: +350 200 49999 www.ladyofeuropefertilitycare.com
Image:Ed Uthman
anxiety and fear that I would feel this way forever. In March of this year, I sent a prayer request with a group of seminarians to Lourdes and all it said was, “For my husband’s continued conversion”. You see, I never asked for another child. I know that I don’t know what God wants for us, but I want to be open to anything he wants for us. Two weeks after the 150th anniversary of Our Lady’s appearance to St. Bernadette at Lourdes, my husband came home and told me that he felt like “he’d been slapped in the face” and was not happy in the rat race. He looked at the house we were building and wondered “why?” On my birthday, March 19th, he gave me a card and told me that his gift to me was to have his vasectomy reversed. He told me that he realized that it was a terrible selfish sin, and he wanted to make reparation. He also wanted to go to individual
A greatly magnified cross section of a normal Vas Deferens. The white area in the middle is the tunnel through which the sperm travel. Update from Kim
The surgery was successful according to the doctor. But, I placed the final measurement of the success of the surgery in my husband’s continued conversion and opening himself to the gift of life once again. A few months after the surgery, my husband came back from a business trip and said he thought about it and didn’t see any reason other than his own selfishness to be closed to life so… the first month he opened
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himself to life, I find out that I am pregnant with number six!!! If this isn’t proof of the power of prayer, I don’t know what is. Please pray for our new baby’s safety! From OneMoreSoul.com
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