January 2019 | Urbanicity Hamilton

Today, I need help with my

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NOTHING HIDDEN ABOUT IT

WOMEN ARE THE FOCUS AT CAMH

A SILENT CRISIS

UNDERSTANDING AND SYMPATHIZING WITH SCHIZOPHRENIA

LEARNING TOOLS AND TECHNIQUES RATHER THAN RESTRAINTS AND SEDATION

THERE IS A LONG WAY TO GO IN REDUCING THE STIGMA AROUND MEN'S MENTAL HEALTH

A MOTHER'S PROMISE TO NORMALIZE MALE MENTAL HEALTH IN HER HOME

C O M P L I M E N TA R Y

STIGMA & SCHIZOPHRENIA

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P U B L I S H E R + E D I TO R ANDREA FERNANDES andrea@urbanicity.ca L AYOU T & D ES I G N Ta fa ri A n t h o ny COV ER PHOTO B Y J onny Ca sp a ri (Unspla sh . co m ) DISTRIBUTION urbanicity Magazine

urbanicity Magazine is wholly owned and published by urbanicity Magazine.

All content copyright © 2019 and all rights to distribution are reserved by urbanicity Magazine.

As a forum for ideas, issues, and experiences, the views expressed in the magazine are not necessarily those of the Publisher, Editor, other contributors, advertisers or distributors unless otherwise stated.

DISTRIBUTION 40,000+ readers per month.

Distributed throughout Hamilton, Dundas, Ancaster, Stoney Creek, Waterdown, Aldershot, and Burlington.

12 issues per year.

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This year I am kicking off the New Year with my final issue of urbanicity magazine.

Although the decision to move onto the next chapter of my life was made a few months ago, there was no doubt in my mind that my last issue absolutely had to be the Mental Health Issue.

When I themed last January's issue as the Mental Health Issue I wanted it to resonate with people. I wanted to share the stories people were too afraid to talk about. I wanted to break down walls and talk more in-depth about depression, anxiety, what it means to be Bipolar, OCD, and more. I didn’t want to gloss over these topics with an inspirational quote, I wanted to dive into the realities of what it's like to live with mental health issues; the good, the bad, and the ugly. The response was overwhelming and left me in a state of happy tears over the next few days as I received e-mails and phone calls from people thanking the team for creating this issue or just looking to share their story because they felt comfortable enough to do so.

This year, we are striving to continue to break the stigma, to keep the conversation going and to focus on the realities of those living with a mental illness.

I especially wanted to focus on men after noticing the overwhelming response from women who were ready to open up and share their stories while men were obviously still suffering but less inclined to share.

Men are often silenced, afraid to speak up, and confined by gender stereotypes that leave them unable to express their mental health battles in the name of remaining rough, tough and emotionless. Flip to pg.

6 to read about some of the realities men face in the eyes of mental health, or pg. 12 to hear a new mother's promise to normalize male mental health struggles in her home so that she can raise a son who feels comfortable enough to discuss any mental health issues his future may hold.

If my role as Editor of urbanicity leaves Hamilton with just one memory, let it be the mental health issues. Let it be that no matter the battle you are facing inside your mind, you are so much more than a diagnosis. Your mental health journey adds colour to your story, helps to shape the person you are, but never fully defines you.

With this being my final issues, I want to extend a huge thank you to the community of Hamilton for the overwhelming amount of love, support, and stories over the past 2 years. Hamilton welcomed me with open arms and pushed me to succeed. You are a city of movers, shakers, and doers and I hope my run as editor of urbanicity has reflected that and the beauty of the people in this city. Thank you for spending time with urbanicity each month and for continually supporting this magazine and each other.

I would also like to extend a thank you to Joe Accardi of Forge and Foster who provided me with the opportunity to run urbanicity from top to bottom and allowed me to let my creative abilities shine.

You designed a workplace that inspired its employees to think creatively, push boundaries, share stories and made getting up for work each day exciting and refreshing.

Finally, I would like to say thank you to the real MVP of urbanicity. Our graphic designer, Tafari Anthony who has been with urbanicity since before me and will remain onboard after me. Not only did he bring every issue to life with pops of colour and creativity but he consistently exceeds his role by offering guidance and support to the team. Tafari, we thank you for your hard work, incredible talent, and your infectious laughter that made the workplace even more enjoyable. urbanicity would like to wish the new Editor the best as he is set to continue to grow, expand, and share the stories of Hamilton. He has big plans in motion, so sit tight Hamilton, urbanicity isn’t going anywhere!

ANDREA FERNANDES

Don't forget to fill in the blank on our cover and share your thoughts with us on social media using #urbanicitymentalhealth.

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Stigma & Schizophrenia

Photo by DENYS ARGYRIOU (Unsplash.com)

Most people are familiar with the term schizophrenia. They associate it with insanity, a name for that “crazy person they saw on the street,” or even as a joke when they’re around someone acting unusually strange.

The thing is, people rarely have a correct understanding of schizophrenia. It is a disease, and unfortunately, one that can only be treated and not cured. A lifelong illness affecting 1 percent of the population, it occurs across races, cultures, and socio-economic groups all over the world. Schizophrenia usually first appears in men in their late teens and women in their early to mid-20s, making this degenerative disease one that starts early. According to the Schizophrenia Society of Ontario, 360,000 people live with the disease in Canada, with 140,000 of those people living in Ontario.

BY STEFANI SOLIMAN

Stefani Soliman is a social media marketer and freelance editor. She's an avid supporter of local businesses, Canadian-made goods and fashion. Along with her love of dogs, punctuation, and the ‘90s, Stefani is a keen recycler and instrument collector. Tell her a corny joke and you’ll be friends for life. @ stefsoliman

What does schizophrenia actually look like? Contrary to popular belief, it is not someone with split personalities. Most people with the disease are not violent, as often assumed. The signs and symptoms are divided into three main categories: positive, negative, and cognitive. Positive symptoms are ones that occur additionally to what a healthy person would experience in normal life. These include hallucinations, delusions, thought disorders (such as making up words with no meaning), and movement disorders, which include abnormal body movements.

A person with negative symptoms often needs help with everyday tasks and reverts to social withdrawal and difficulty showing emotions. They may speak in a

dull voice, show no facial expression, and speak very little to others. Lastly are cognitive symptoms, which may be difficult to see but can make it hard for a person to take care of themselves, including struggling to process information to make decisions.

Because it is a neurodevelopmental disorder, schizophrenia affects how someone thinks, feels, and behaves. This means that living with the disease takes a toll on all aspects of life, from education to employment, to social interactions. It also affects how the outside world sees them, as many of the illness manifestations are difficult to hide.

Someone with schizophrenia may talk about unusual ideas, have disorganized speech, or alternatively sit for hours without moving or speaking. They may see things that aren’t really there or hear voices around them. Often these voices are persecutory, telling them they will hurt them or their loved ones or that they are controlling their mind. These voices sound as though they are coming from a loudspeaker, even though there’s nothing there. Of course, the voices and visions are not only annoying, but extremely disturbing, and can often cause those suffering to withdraw from those around them. Those affected are in fear most of the time. Seeing this is also upsetting

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for family and friends. Without education on how to approach and help someone with schizophrenia, someone’s reaction to the symptoms could make those with the illness feel worse.

One way to help family and friends understand those with the disease is for them to experience it. In the PlayStation 4 game Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice, the main character is plagued with constant voices and sounds. Known as “Furies” in the game, those playing can feel the distraction, annoyance, and sometimes frightening words. As schizophrenia creates a difficulty in organizing one’s thoughts, hallucinations make having a clear mind an even greater challenge.

Experiencing just one aspect of the illness’s symptoms promotes not only sympathy but an understanding of schizophrenia.

This is just one reason why resources for both the affected individuals and families are so important.

Large governing bodies like the American Psychiatric Association, National Institute of Mental Health, Brain and Behavior Research Foundation, and more localized efforts like the Schizophrenic Society of Ontario and Centre for Addiction & Mental Health provide literature and in-person consultations to provide education. All of these supply up-to-date research on the disease, as well as guidance for individuals affected and their loved ones.

Located in the city is the Hamilton Program for Schizophrenia (HPS), which helps individuals with schizophrenia with programs like case management (assessing current medications) to develop a treatment plan, peer support, various clubs and sports, as well as daily activities. Only 15 per cent of people diagnosed with schizophrenia are employed in Canada (though rarely full-time positions), so initiatives like these that provide daily occupation are extremely valuable.

SOMEONE WITH SCHIZOPHRENIA MAY TALK ABOUT UNUSUAL IDEAS, HAVE DISORGANIZED SPEECH, OR ALTERNATIVELY SIT FOR HOURS WITHOUT MOVING OR SPEAKING. THEY MAY SEE THINGS THAT AREN’T REALLY THERE OR HEAR VOICES AROUND THEM.

TO LEARN MORE: Hamilton Program for Schizophrenia www.hpfs.on.ca Centre for Addiction and Mental Health www.camh.ca Schizophrenia Society of Ontario www.schizophrenia.on.ca National Institute for Mental Health www.nimh.nih.gov

Photo by IHOR MALYTSKYI (Unsplash.com)

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Nothing Hidden About It There is a long way to go in reducing the stigma around men's mental health

Do a quick search of men’s mental health in a search engine and you’ll get a symphony of news reports, studies, and psychological publications over the past couple years singing headlines about a “silent” or “hidden” crisis. A third of Ontario high school students report experiencing moderate to serious levels of anxiety and depression, around a quarter of all deaths between the ages 15-24 are attributed to suicide, and men’s suicide and substance abuse rates are much higher than women. There is definitely a problem.

However, the headlines, research, and worrying statistics don’t seem to be particularly “silent” or “hidden” to me. A recent 2015 CAMH survey found that Canadians believed that awareness, issues with stigma, and general attitudes regarding mental health issues had improved over the past previous five years. If we know there is a problem and Canadians are more aware, why is there still a crisis happening when it comes to men’s mental health?

Here’s what we know. Men, both youth and adult, are much less likely to seek out help or treatment even when they can recognize a problem and identify appropriate support. Negative reactions, perceived weakness, and fears of rejection from peers still persist as the main reasons men don’t seek out treatment. As far as we have come in reducing stigma related to mental health, there is obviously still a long way to go when it comes to men. The reality is that men would rather suffer alone than appear weak to their friends and family.

What does this suffering look like?

BY SHAWN OAKES

Shawn Oakes studied psychology and sociology at Laurentian University with focuses on youth and social inequality.

He currently works as an consultant and life coach in Toronto.

Men tend to express symptoms of mental health issues most often as aggression, violence and increased risk-taking behaviours. The big

danger is that these are all things that are understood to be and often idealized ‘masculine’ behaviours.

Just think how many times we cheer for the hot-tempered anti-hero with a drinking problem on the big and small screens. With idols like that, it should be no surprise to anyone that men are over-represented in reports of aggressive behaviour, accidents, violence-related injuries, substance abuse, suicide and criminal behaviour. These aren’t cases of “boys being boys” or “typical male behaviour”. It is the result of serious mental health problems going untreated. So how do we challenge the stigma of mental health among men and get them the treatment they need?

More work needs to be done toward increasing awareness and reducing the ‘weakness’ stigma associated with mental health issues when it comes to men. We need to start recognizing behaviours like over-aggression, violence, alcoholism, substance abuse, and criminal behaviour as the visible symptoms of poor mental health and not merely socially acceptable male behaviour. We need men to start sharing their struggles and triumphs with mental health issues, especially with school-aged boys before heading into high school where we know there is a significant problem. We need to challenge men to open up with each other to become part of the solution, rather than continue to actively ignore the problem. Let’s stop the conversation about a “hidden crisis” and start talking about the difference between acceptable male behaviour and visible symptoms of mental health struggles. Let’s have men take ownership of the crisis and take an active role in putting an end to the stigma of weakness around mental health issues.

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One Hockey Players Battle with Mental Health The importance of sharing your story and shifting the macho culture

In many ways, I am beyond grateful for what the sport of hockey has allowed me to accomplish. Over the years, I have built a career for myself that has included minor hockey championships, breaking junior hockey records, receiving a college scholarship, attending college hockey national championships, and playing 4 years of professional hockey.

Although I am proud of where the sport has taken me, I know that these accolades were not achieved without the constant cloud of off-ice issues that were swept under the rug for far too long.

The older I got, the more profound these issues became. As I look back on my career, I realise there were ample opportunities for me to deal with these issues. Unfortunately, like many athletes, I chose to ignore them out of the fear of seeming weak.

From the outside, the lifestyle of a professional hockey player can seem glamorous and desirable to the average person but most people only see the product of a hockey player on the ice – which to a player is the easy part. The hard part is the mental component behind closed doors that male athletes like myself, struggle with.

The anxieties and stresses that fluctuate daily can consume an athlete and through my time climbing the ranks it became evident that the male culture chooses to dismiss these negative effects. The sport of hockey has always carried this macho and physical identity, so discussing feelings and emotions that result from playing the sport were frowned upon.

ANONYMOUS

A professional hockey player in North America from the GTA, that went to school in the US on a hockey scholarship. Graduated from college with a double major in managerial economics and psychology. Recently, attained an MBA from Louisiana State University – Shreveport with a 3.98 GPA. Post-hockey career aspirations are to work in the private equity sector in a Toronto based firm.

Personally, I was always worried about what my coaches would think of me. I worried that sharing my struggles and anxieties would result in losing my spot in the lineup or even on the team. Would my teammates look at me differently? What would happen if players on other teams found out my mind wasn't always as ‘tough’ as I portrayed myself to be on the ice? It seemed easier to suppress those thoughts and avoid having the tough conversations than attempting to express what was going on in my mind.

It wasn’t until my 3rd year of college when I experienced my first anxiety attack that I decided I needed to get help. All the years of riding the mental and

emotional roller coaster that is hockey had finally caught up to me. If I wanted to continue doing what I loved, I needed to take action.

That action started with putting myself first and seeking counselling. For a long time, I kept the fact that I was regularly seeing a therapist to myself. In my mind, it was bad enough I was going to therpay, but to actually let people know I was struggling was an even scarier thought.

However, as time passed I became more aware of the number of people that struggle daily and who never receive treatment. It was around the same time that two retired hockey players had committed suicide weeks apart. I knew it would be only a matter of time that if players like myself didn’t start speaking out there would be more and more victims to mental illness.

To be honest, the decision to start speaking up about mental health was tough, but I needed to talk about my struggles in order to help change the stigma around sports. To me, that didn’t mean hosting conferences to discuss mental health or telling anyone who would listen that I struggle with anxiety – it was simply having conversations with teammates, sharing my story, and offering support to another teammate who may need someone to listen while they talk.

Over the last 4 years I have seen a drastic shift in the culture but can’t stress the importance of how much more talking and stigma breaking needs to be done.

We need to keep the conversation going, to allow hockey players, athletes, and men in general to feel comfortable in their own skin when talking about their struggles with mental health.

The key to the transition for me was knowing I was not alone. I truly believe that if more players know that there are others dealing with the same issues, they will be more inclined to share their story. Sharing your story is the key to creating a ripple effect that will not only change the macho culture around hockey but also the male mental health culture in general.

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Women are the Focus at CAMH Learning tools and techniques rather than restraints and sedation

CAMH,

the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, leads the way in women’s mental health treatment. They have a gender-specific inpatient unit which caters to all women, including transgender women. It provides a supportive environment overseen by knowledgeable staff who run psychoeducational groups within a relaxed setting where women are supported by women. It is a refuge outside of isolation; a safe environment to process difficult emotions.

The Women’s Inpatient Unit is located at the College Street campus of CAMH. With a nurse to patient ratio of 1:4, they have accommodation for 20 patients .

With a nurse to patient ratio of 1:4, they have accommodations for 20 patients with an average length of stay of 14 to 15 days. Most of the patients have some form of trauma, depression, PTSD or borderline pathology and are admitted through the emergency department usually during an acute crisis.

The unit is headed by Dr. Suvercha Pasricha, the Lead Psychiatrist for the Women’s Inpatient Unit and an Assistant Professor at the University of Toronto. “I don’t know of anything in Canada like this,” Pasricha said. When asked about the unit’s mandate, she said, “Our mandate or our goal is to treat every woman with [the] utmost respect and dignity and attend to their individual needs.” The program began under the leadership of Dr. Barb Dorian who came to CAMH with staff from the Women’s College Hospital. Dr. Pasricha assumed the leadership role in 2008 and brought about some critical changes.

The program had always been traumainformed trauma-sensitive, Pasricha said, specifically treating people who

BY ALLISON HANNAFORD

Allison Hannaford is a journalism student at Ryerson University and the mother of two teenaged boys. She is an avid reader and enjoys writing, having recently completed her first novel. Among other issues, she writes about mental health and has been battling mental illness for the past twenty years.

Photo provided CAMH.ca

are acutely ill and have had trauma in their background, but in 2008, Dr. Pasricha implemented DBT (dialectic behavioural therapy) principles into the program, to help women who have been impacted by trauma and may not have learned healthy coping skills in childhood or hadn’t experienced good role modelling growing up. “[DBT] really shaped our program because the admission became very structured and goal-driven. Discharge dates are set early so admissions are very efficient here.” She and her colleagues developed the trauma education and the dietitian started the nutrition group that is facilitated along with a variety of others ranging from coping with anxiety to spirituality. They are currently looking at adding a relapse prevention group.

Kelsi Hopkins, a former patient of the women’s inpatient unit at CAMH, liked the groups and found them relatable, saying they taught actual strategies to cope with day to day issues. She particularly appreciated the different perspectives offered by the staff and students who facilitated the groups.

A biopsychosocial model, bio (medicine) psycho (psychotherapy) social (social support network building), the Women’s Inpatient Unit works as a team of professionals - among these are psychiatrists, nurses, social workers, a recreation therapist, a dietician, psychologists, a nurse educator and a

doctor. “It’s a very cohesive team,” Pasricha said.

One of the most beneficial characteristics of this unit is the all-women aspect.

In her 2003 paper, Mainstreaming Women’s Mental Health - Building a Canadian Strategy, Marina Morrow, PhD says, “…women report that they feel more comfortable and gain more benefits from women-specific peer support groups but few such supports are available, especially for women with mental illness who have had experiences of physical or sexual violence.

These kinds of supports are critical for recovery.” Dr. Pasricha gives credit to that environment, “A very positive thing about the unit, it’s the milieu that’s created, it is based on Sanctuary model of care. A lot of peer support takes place during people’s stay.” Pasricha said.

Hopkins found her experience at other units “drastically different,” who said the staff opted to sedate her rather than deal with her. Another former CAMH client who asked to remain anonymous spoke of her experience, “When I am admitted into other hospitals, I am always put in lockdown where I am in a glass room with nothing but a bed; where no one comes to talk with me until I am stable enough to go home.”

And where restraints may be used in most hospitals, Pasricha said CAMH elects the use of the least restraint policy. The “trauma-informed way” practiced in the Women’s Inpatient Unit is

to teach people skills, to use ice packs or weighted blankets rather than restraining them.

The budget to operate this exclusive unit is the same as any other unit at CAMH, Pasricha said. She was told at one time that each patient cost about $1,000 per day to treat. Although the unit doesn’t specifically need additional funds for its maintenance, Pasricha did add, “I would love to have more research funding and expertise added to our unit so that we can replicate and write about this kind of program.”

Pasricha cited one of her challenges in running the program as working with the ongoing need for cutting the length of stay. She’d like the option of approving longer admissions, but there is just too much demand for the service. “Our emergency department is so busy that’s it’s hard work. It’s hard on everybody, but we try.” She also would like to find more time and expertise to write and publish.

As for her experience working at CAMH, she says, “It’s very gratifying, the work that we do,” but adds, “We have to do our part and write and publish about it.” When asked how the community could support the Women’s Inpatient Unit, she suggested, “I think advocating for it, writing about it, talking about it.” Donations for research are greatly appreciated. With more research, more ways to help more people can be discovered.

HAMILTON’S FASTEST GROWING BUSINESSES In 2018, Hamilton’s Economic Development Office created an annual business recognition program to identify and highlight Hamilton’s fastest growing businesses.

Based on a number of criteria, these companies have shown to be the fastest growing companies in Canada’s most diversified economy.

Congratulations to all winners and thank you for your commitment to Hamilton’s economy.

investinhamilton.ca

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Supporting Your Mental Health Through Diet + Naturopathic Medicine Naturopathic medicine is a system of primary healthcare that can be a valuable source of support for anyone dealing with mental health concerns. Naturopathic Doctors (NDs) address your health as a whole – physical, mental, emotional – with a focus on using diet, nutrition and supplementation, lifestyle changes, acupuncture and other treatments to get you feeling better. Care is always individualized to suit your specific needs.

TH E G UT-BRAIN CONNE C TION A huge amount of research is emerging on the intimate connection between our gut health and mental health. Did you know our bodies contain more bacterial cells than human cells? These guys flourish in our digestive tract, where most of our serotonin (an important neurotransmitter believed to be implicated in many mental health conditions) is made. By supporting a healthy digestive tract and gut flora, we are in turn supporting our mental health and brains.

Try including fermented foods as a source of probiotics (good bacteria) – kimchi, kombucha, pickles, etc.

Prebiotics are a type of fibre that feeds our good bacteria, so these are also great to incorporate – raw cabbage, garlic, asparagus, chicory root, and dandelion greens are just a few examples.

If you are suffering from anxiety, depression, or any other mental health condition, it’s always important to seek medical care for a proper diagnosis, ensuring the best treatment for you. However, if you have already been diagnosed, are in the process of seeking care, are taking medications or not, there are many ways diet and nutrition can be used to address anxiety and mood concerns.

Below are a few considerations on how our diets can influence our mental health.

SWAP THE COF F EE Caffeine can also exacerbate anxiety. Although many of us rely on a morning cup or two of java, some will also notice an improvement in anxiety symptoms when they eliminate coffee from their diet.

Try switching to green tea instead! It still contains a small amount of caffeine but also has a compound called L-theanine, which has been shown to help reduce anxiety while promoting relaxation and focus.

B AL ANC ING B LOOD SUG AR Low blood sugar can contribute to symptoms of anxiety such as heart palpitations, feeling uneasy and jittery. Ensuring you are eating meals at regular intervals with a good source of protein, fibre and healthy fat will help promote stable blood sugar levels throughout your day.

BY DR. CHRISTINE NOVOKOWSKY

Dr. Christine Novokowsky is a Naturopathic Doctor practicing in downtown Hamilton.

She enjoys working with individuals of all ages and backgrounds, providing support and empowering patients on their journey to better health. She attained her Doctor of Naturopathy at the Canadian College of Naturopathic Medicine, following studies in Bio-Medical Science at the University of Guelph.

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Supporting Your Mental Health Through Diet + Naturopathic Medicine C H OOSE FOODS FOR YOUR M OOD Following an anti-inflammatory diet has been shown to help with some mental health concerns. Inflammation is believed to contribute, at least in part, to mood disorders such as depression and anxiety. An anti-inflammatory diet focuses on lots of anti-inflammatory foods such as vegetables, fruits and healthy fats – raw olive oil, avocados, nuts and seeds, salmon and other fish. At the same time, avoiding or minimizing consumption of simple sugars, dairy products, gluten, red and processed meats, which can promote inflammation. Following this type of diet also helps provide your body with all the necessary nutrients to produce proper levels of neurotransmitters, and supports a healthy brain.

WESTDALE 905-522-3300

Ultimately, the foods we choose to eat influence how we feel each day. Small changes to your diet can add up, and play a part in helping you feel better.

There are many tools Naturopathic doctors may use to help you address your mental health concerns. Whether the focus is diet, specific supplements, herbs, or lifestyle recommendations, addressing your health as a whole can have a big impact. These interventions are not necessarily an alternative option to medications, but can absolutely compliment other treatments that you are already receiving. It’s always important to talk to your healthcare provider before starting any new diet or supplement to make sure that what you’re doing is safe and effective. Everyone is incredibly unique, and your healthcare plan should reflect that.

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A Silent Crisis A mother's promise to normalize male mental health in her home

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BY SHERRY AVADIEV

Sherry is a high school teacher, working with TDSB's continuing education program. She teaches English and Business Technology to adults who are hoping obtain or upgrade their high school diploma. She thoroughly enjoys working with her students who come from all walks of life and who generously share their refreshing perspectives with her.

Facebook: Ess Ay

ecoming a new mother is an experience that is as overwhelming as it is magical. After the piercing pain, extreme fatigue, and weeks of slow recovery, the haze that lingers following delivery is lifted, and a sense of awe sets in. You stare at your newborn, relishing in this indescribable rendering of love, when, out of left field, you are hit with the weight of being entrusted with an invaluable life. Despite the endless list of "must-have" parenting books, the heaps of purportedly essential baby contraptions, and all of the unsolicited advice you could have ever dreamed for, there is nothing that could prepare you for the enigma staring back at you. To a certain degree, every parent accepts this truth, and so I know that I am not alone when I start imagining the curveballs that are headed my way. It has been seven months since I have become a mother to my magical son, Oliver Lee, and in those seven months, I have been envisioning all of the hypothetical challenges I will have to confront, and then imagining all of the ways I hope to navigate them. The one theme that I continually return to, however, is my son's mental health.

Over the past dozen years, mental illness has been at the forefront of mine and my family's lives, as both my sister and I, have had to wage war with the incredible darkness that only psychological conditions can marshal. In last year's mental health issue of Urbanicity, I shared both of our stories, divulging how my sister's untameable mental and physical conditions led to her suicide, and how her passing subsequently led to my own experience with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Major Depressive Disorder. Writing about our stories was liberating and cathartic, but since becoming a mother, I have had to consider our experiences in a new light. Because I have seen, first-hand, the devastating and debilitating effects of mental illness, I cannot help but be plagued by the fear that I might have to live through its force once again.

Naturally, I still grieve over losing my sister, and I periodically worry about relapsing into old symptoms, but now I mostly ruminate over whether mental illness will be the curveball that I have to forever be on the lookout for in my son.

In these reflections, I have acknowledged, accepted, and moved past the reality that my son will be more susceptible to mental illness due to the

hereditary nature of psychological conditions. This truth is, it is something I have no control over, and through my own recovery from PTSD and MDD, I have learned that I cannot fixate on the things I cannot change, and so I don't afford this matter much thought. What I do focus on, however, is an arguably more troubling fact: supports for mental health are gendered. What I mean by this is that while women are encouraged and, dare I say, expected to share feelings, shed tears, and pursue support, the insidious messaging in the media and in our social norms dissuades men from doing the same.

In order to be considered "masculine," men must deny the existence of their emotions, hide any trace of shed tears, and rebuke any form of external support. As a mother of a vulnerable son, I am anxious about how this message might dissuade my son from pursuing his own mental health needs. But further to this, on an objective scale, I am deeply saddened that the stigmatization of male-emotional-care continues to be propagated, as it is surely one of the greatest factors contributing to today's startling statistics around men and mental health. While popular belief would have you think that mental health conditions are a female issue, 4 out of 5 suicides are completed by

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IN THESE REFLECTIONS, I HAVE ACKNOWLEDGED, ACCEPTED, AND MOVED PAST THE REALITY THAT MY SON WILL BE MORE SUSCEPTIBLE TO MENTAL ILLNESS DUE TO THE HEREDITARY NATURE OF PSYCHOLOGICAL CONDITIONS.

males, substance abuse disorders outnumber women by 3 to 1, and 87% of those accused of homicide are men.

LET THESE FACTS SINK IN. As I mentioned before, I do not fixate on the things I cannot change, but thankfully, these figures can be changed, and so I will fixate on them until they do.

From my experience with overcoming mental illness, and from witnessing the better days during my sister's fight with mental illness, I can boldly say that when we were encouraged to talk, cry, or seek help, we were at our best. When I was asked by a friend to explain what PTSD feels like, I felt supported; when my sister knew that she could walk into my mother's room at 2 in the morning and be held as she cried, she felt safe; and when we both agreed to seek professional help, we experienced breakthroughs. As I raise my son, I will always remind myself of the threatening figures around male mental health, and I will be empowered to change them through strategies that helped me change. In my pursuit, I will

model mental-health-discussions and teach my son words to help express his feelings, I will provide him with an ear that will validate his emotions, I will offer him a shoulder if all he needs to do is cry, and I will encourage him to pursue his own healing measures to counter his dark days. Normalizing the pursuit of mental health in our home will be a labour of love that will take patience, persistence, and commitment, but since I know that I can do something to thwart this curveball, I will.

I hold on to the hope that the stigmatization around male mental health will dissipate, and that our society will soon recognize how crucial it is to acknowledge, support, and encourage the attempts males make to speak about their emotional well being, and to seek help when needed. Perhaps when discussions around male mental health are normalized, suicide, substance abuse and homicide rates will all decline, alongside the many cases of veiled mental illness. So if you have ever bought into the perpetuated notion that mental illness is a female condition, I hope you are strong enough to surrender this stereotype so that you, too, can help change this silent crisis.

Photos provided by SHERRY AVADIEV

14

J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 9 | T H E M E N TA L H E A L T H I S S U E

# URB ANIC ITY M E NTALH E ALTH

The Answers to All Your Questions You.

Fear is born through feelings of inadequacy, disappointment, shame, rejection and unworthiness; just to name a few. Fear provides hospitality for these anxious feelings, as they nestle in your stomach and begin to paralyze your mind. Fear harvests these seeds of selfdoubt, fertilizes its soil and salivates in anticipation of the marvel it's about to breed. Fear then downpours on the garden it's fostered and with pride, observes your depression passionately blossom into this rampant brute you can't suppress. Fear pins you mercilessly to its bed of thorns, as you toil to try and break free. Fear manifests itself through its treacherous hold on your mind, governing your inner world and your reality. Fear triggers your mind to facilitate lies disguised as logic that amass to silence your confidence and keep you stagnant. Fear holds you back from exploring the world outside of the barriers that conceal your comfort.

Fear impedes your self-growth and frames limitations on all the possibilities your imagination can create. Fear, as a result, makes loving yourself seem like an impossible feat.

Photo by DIEGO DUARTE CERECEDA (Unsplash.com)

BY DANIEL PINCENTE

Daniel Pincente is a life coach who aims to inspire others to gain perspective and create who they want to be. He believed when you can't control what's happening, challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what's happening. This is where you will find the power to create your happiness.

I lived in its authority. I breathed its toxic air. I ate the poison it fed me. I endured its venom flowing through my veins. I reluctantly slept by its side every eerie night. I was its prisoner in a cold dark cell, where I spent my sentence reinforcing its walls. I became confined to its darkness. I searched for happiness outside of my world because I didn't have the courage to look within it. I exhausted all options apart from myself. I was lost. I was scared. I felt my walls caving in on me. I saw hope dimming rapidly. I knew I had to change something, quickly. I abandoned my pride. I relinquished my ego. I reached out for help. I became vulnerable. I

made the best decision of my life. I obtained a new perspective which changed the scope of my battle. I now understand my happiness is dependent on me and nothing else. I will forever be a student in this thing we call life. I will constantly learn and adapt to allow myself to flourish and evolve to be the best me I can be. I now carry the lantern I was always longing for, which lights my path.

I invite you to learn and understand about the one thing that will give you the answers to all your questions: you.

All of us have the power to be great.

What holds us back from that greatness? You probably guessed it- fear.

Can you blame us? From day one we're bombarded with these concepts of fitting in this little box society has so generously created for us. If we stray from society's guide to a perfect life, we're destined for failure. Don't be held captive by the beliefs of others. Follow your intuition and your heart and they will lead you toward the trail true to you. Liberate yourself from fear and let go of emotions that no longer serve you. Choose to change who you are going forward rather than dwell over the regret holding you back. Shine your light on the world, not holding one ounce back. In order to produce that light, learn everything you can about you; who you are and who you are not.

Fear, such a small word, yet harnesses a wealth of power. Unfortunately for fear, there is another word as small as it, which carries an even greater abundance of power- love. Switch your frequency from fear to love and your world will attract the energy necessary to help sculpt your dreams. Differentiate between the noise from fear and the wisdom from your soul and tune in to the latter. And remember, always be grateful for your time spent shackled by the hands of fear, for freedom will taste that much sweeter because of it.

Have the courage to be imperfect.

WE ARE ACCEPTING NEW PATIENTS! DR. BRYAN STEIN

DR. ELICIA KOBLIK

DR. PETER LI

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