featuring
savaGe love by dan savage deC. 18, 2013 vol. 01 issue 02 urBaniteneWs.Com
Farm to fork to Food network Cameras decend on midtown’s rino’s kitchen for TVs You Gotta Eat Here! filming
10 years of Phog sex, laws & videotape
a look at a decade of a local institution
Body rub parlour pushes boundaries
VieWS BETTER LUCK NEXT YEAR? The end of the year has arrived and with it comes a fresh opportunity to put our collective houses in order. And make no mistake, our houses are quite messy and in dire need of being put in order. In Ontario, both London and Toronto have mayors embroiled in serious political scandals. Rob Ford admitted to smoking crack and has been stumbling through a seemingly endless series of follies and gaffes, while London’s Joe Fontana has been charged with fraud for using taxpayer money to pay for his son’s wedding. The Ontario Liberals spent roughly $1 billion to save two seats by cancelling two gas plants, in what was arguably a politically motivated decision.
THE URBANITE » URBANITENEWS.COM » DEC. 18, 2013 » 2
Increasingly, it seems as if governments at every level are doing either what can be considered the opposite of the will of the people. At the very least, government actions are running counter to what reasonable citizens would expect. It’s not enough to merely get upset at the actions of our governments. What we need is for Canadians to start making noise, and loudly. Take up a letter writing campaign, start a petition, organize community groups to oppose or endorse measures, speak as a delegate at city council … let people know that you take the issues seriously. If Canadians want better governance, Canadians have to demand it. With the new year comes a fresh start, the ability to right the wrongs of the past, and the possibility to chart a new course. — JON LIEDTKE
Federally, the government lost and subsequently found $3 billion in anti-terror funding. The Canadian Federal Court confirmed that the 2011 federal election was rife with fraud. Documents released by Edward Snowden from the National Security Agency document widespread spying by Canada on Canadians and for the NSA. Following massive opposition, online surveillance bills were abandoned by the government, only to be reintroduced under different names recently.
Publisher/Editor: Natasha Marar (natasha@urbanitenews.com) Managing Editor: Jon Liedtke (jon@urbanitenews.com) Art Director: Stephen Hargreaves Circulation: Kirk Guthrie Contributors: Adam D’Andrea, Leonard Thomas, Brooks Cohen, Jenn McMullan, Dan Savage, Jay Verspeelt
WINDSOR NEEDS BALLS
But now the snow has forced so many of us to retreat into our warm living rooms and avoid the mild reality we are tempered to believe harsh here.
Windsor sees very little of two things: international press and snow.
So what’s the most sure-fire way for fun in this winter wonderland? The snow penis. Wouldn’t such an act add to the social cohesion of our community? Of course it would.
The city, up until recently only known around the world (if known at all) for being next to America’s stinking ship that is Detroit, made headlines of its own over having phallic-shaped bushes at a riverfront park. From comedians such as Stephen Colbert to Jimmy Kimmel, the penis sculpture at the Odette Sculpture Garden made the media cycle three times over as it was transmitted into homes across the globe. Now, mid December, the first real snow of the season is upon us. The media cycle has died down and the good samaritans deemed “vandals” by the City of Windsor have ceased their antics. It is not known if it was only one person or persons that made the pube-lic displays, but it certainly brought the city together for a collective chuckle that was shared from neighbour to neighbour.
Imagine the entire riverfront littered in snow peni, on their own or leap frogging over each other? What about one so big it could be seen from Detroit? It’s a challenge someone’s fit to take on. Why not have the city sponsor it? Eddie Francis could hand out awards for the best sculpted snow-dong. It may sound ridiculous and you may think it outlandish, but some small part of you thinks that this is a good idea. Let Toronto have its rocks, Windsor has balls. — BROOKS COHEN
The discussion was buzzing and everyone seemed to be amused, except for the mayor in a staunchly unimpressed CBC comment as the hilarity kicked off.
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THE URBANITE » URBANITENEWS.COM » DEC. 18, 2013 » 3
Windsor rub and tug under the radar
jaY versPeelt A small ground level store on Pelissier Street is bringing a onestop sexshop to the downtown core. Fantasy Playhouse Massage is a body rub parlour, colloquially known as a “rub and tug,” that opened at 555 Pelissier St. about a month ago. The unit had also previously been Service Station massage parlour. The shop’s website, which lists services such as massages at $100 an hour or with two girls for $150, is expanding on the model of body rub parlours by adding a direct-your-own porn video for $200 an hour as well as an escort service. Downtown Windsor Business Improvement Association chairperson Larry Horwitz said he had heard about the business. After being told about the porn video service, he suggested that the business may be better suited where the film collective Raindance is located. “I think that any business that plays by the rules [is welcome],” said Horwitz. “... just like for any business there’s licensing. For massage parlours they include being open from 8 a.m. to 10 p.m. or something along those lines. It’s a city issue really.”
A downtown Windsor body rub parlour highlights some of its services on its website » Photos Jay Verspeelt Playing by the rules means acquiring the proper licensing and abiding by municipal bylaws and federal laws. Michael Chantler, supervisor of licensing for the City of Windsor, said the city is currently processing the application to the 555 Pelissier St. parlour. While Fantasy Playhouse’s website states that it’s opening soon pending municipal licensing, it has already been operating for over a month, according to two people who identified themselves as employees. Windsor has two other licensed parlours in the city. Chantler couldn’t answer how many may be operating illegally in the city. “It’s hard to count. It’s like saying do you know if there’s any unlicensed dogs in the city. Do I know? Yeah I know, I see them in peoples homes but do I know how many? No clue,” said Chantler. Fantasy Playhouse was denied a licence when owner Mary Ferrar, applied in September. The licence was rejected by city councilors Drew Dilkens and Ed Sleiman, due to the area not being zoned for such a facility and because Ferrar’s lease states that the unit is for residential purposes only.
The Urbanite called Fantasy Playhouse Massage as a potential customer. An employee answering the phone said there is a $69 room fee and that gratuities range from $40 to $120 depending on services. “We have lots of regulars that come in and out all the time. They seem to be satisfied,” said the employee. “On any given day there can be up to six girls available. We are open from 10 to 10 daily.” “What’s offered depends how much you tip,” he continued. On a second call, another employee, who indicated she is a manager, said Playhouse’s other two locations on Howard Avenue and Tecumseh Road East have been closed. Ferrar did not return a call for comment. Sgt. Paul Jean of Windsor Police Service’s Morality Squad works in a plain clothed unit that investigates alcohol and gaming, graffiti, human trafficking and all things that fall under “adult entertainment” services. “You can’t offer sexual services in a body rub parlour, period,” said Jean.
This means that Playhouse isn’t able to offer their direct-yourown porn service. In addition to the police’s stance, municipal bylaw 131-2011 states, “every attendant and every customer at a body rub parlour shall be clothed in a manner in which such person’s pubic area and, in the case of women, also her breasts, are fully covered by an opaque material; and no owner or operator may use or permit to be used any camera or other photographic, or other electronic recording device at a body rub parlour by any person.” The escort licence number, 111239-606, listed on Playhouse’s website is also a year expired, in fact it’s even missing a digit, according to Chantler. Chantler said the first two numbers of the escort number identify the year and the number has to be renewed and updated every year. “Sometimes people who are, lets say, publishing websites or putting things in the paper, sometimes, they misprint their licence number or they’ll print old ones.” The city’s licensing department will inform the individual about the issue if they find out about an expired number.
“We go throughout the same processes with them as we would for any other category of licensing,” said Chantler. “I know there’s a public stigma attached to that category. We’re not in the business of passing judgement, we have licences to issue to people that qualify.” Inspections by the city’s fire, building, bylaw enforcement and zoning departments need to be done before a licence could be granted. “From a police perspective, our investigations have moved towards those who are forced into the sex trade,” said Jean. “We’re looking mostly for young adults or underagers who fall in the category of high risk that are forced to work out of motels and share their money with whoever.” Human trafficking is a big issue these days according to Jean, and more of a public outrage than consenting prostitution. Jean said the police have yet to determine if anyone working at a Windsor body rub parlour is a victim of human trafficking.
THE URBANITE » URBANITENEWS.COM » DEC. 18, 2013 » 4
New Ward 7 rep focuses on education jon liedtke Windsor’s Ward 7 byelection has come and gone and Irek Kusmierczyk has been sworn in as Windsor’s latest city councillor. Kusmierczyk replaces Percy Hatfield who was recently elected to represent Windsor-Tecumseh for the NDP in the provincial legislature. “It feels great, absolutely terrific and it’s been a hectic first week, but it’s been wonderful,” said Kusmierczyk. “I’ve met some incredible people at city hall who have made sure that I have a nice soft landing before Monday’s council meeting.” Kusmierczyk said that he knew from the beginning of the campaign that he would have to outwork the other candidates and that the byelection would be close. Kusmierczyk beat runner up Angelo Marignani by less than 50 votes.
“I knew we were going to have to work twice as hard as some of the other candidates in particular,” he said.
ment what is already being done on the ground and bring more partnerships to the table.”
Kusmierczyk explained that his platform was a combination of traditional standard city council issues (controlling spending, lowering taxes and improving roads, sewers and infrastructure more broadly) and a focus on education.
Kusmierczyk believes city council can better help prepare youth for the economy by playing the “role of catalyst, of mobilizing partners from industry, university, the college, the school boards and other partners” to address the local youth unemployment rate, skilled worker shortage and a skills gap.
“I felt that I was the only candidate that actually put forward a bolder, innovative idea which is basically that city council play a role in education, play a role in making sure that we have the best schools in Ontario and that we prepare young people for a 21st century knowledge economy,” said Kusmierczyk. “By no means am I advocating that local government takeover the provincial jurisdiction of education … what I mean is simply that we can supple-
“Windsor has the potential to become what Kitchener and Waterloo is to the IT sector; we could be the same in terms of robotics and automation,” he said. Kusmierczyk said he’s excited to represent Ward 7 since they’ve “been without a councillor for way too long and it’s time to catch up.”
» Photo courtesy Irek Kusmierczyk
Suspension chokes college programs natasha marar St. Clair College is among Ontario’s postsecondary institutions waiting for the Ministry of Training, Colleges and Universities to lift a four-month suspension of all new program approvals. The college’s School of Business and Information Technology submitted an application to the ministry to create two new programs, including a three-year diploma in Mobile Applications Development for fall 2014. Peter Nikita, a St. Clair College professor and lead for the new program, said administrators expected to receive a response from the ministry in October but the decision could be deferred as late as the end of next March. “Unfortunately this delay likely means that we will not be about to offer the program this fall as planned. Even if we are approved soon, there will likely not be enough time to develop a marketing plan and recruit students in time,” said Nikita. Rose Mousaly, chair of St. Clair’s School of Business and Information Technology, said this is the first time she’s experienced
such a delay from the ministry. “It’s pretty widespread. Anybody that had submitted an application in the last little while is in the same boat as we are.”
tion or further advance the differentiation strategy.”
Last fall, the ministry asked publicly funded colleges and universities to define their key priority initiatives through the submission of Strategic Mandate Agreement proposals.
According to Kovacs, the ministry’s research shows a more differentiated postsecondary system will support “greater quality, competitiveness, accountability and sustainability by allowing institutions to spend resources more efficiently and focus resources in their areas of strength.”
Following consultations with educational institutions and related partners, the ministry on Nov. 29 instituted the temporary program suspension and released its “Differentiation Policy Framework” to outline the government’s vision and support the negotiation of Strategic Mandate Agreements.
Mousaly said similar mobile app programs exist at five other schools. “I think when there was the economic downturn in 2008, coupled with the fact that enrolment is supposed to slow down in the next few years, the ministry is really taking a look at what post-secondary education looks like in every corner of the province,” she said.
Gyula Kovacs, senior media relations/issues co-ordinator with the ministry, said the framework “recognizes that each institution has its distinctive strengths, which should be supported, while avoiding unnecessary duplication across the system.”
“We’re hoping we’re going to be the first one out of the gate. We’ve worked with our industry partners to make sure that the curriculum we identified is solid. We’re still tweaking the curriculum. We’re starting to work on course outlines I’m starting to look for teachers to teach the program,” Mousaly added.
Until agreements are negotiated, Kovacs said it’s “not possible for the ministry to determine whether proposed new programs will lead to unnecessary duplica-
The setback has been difficult for program co-ordinators, who are hoping to attract
30-50 students to the mobile app program next fall. “This is frustrating as there is a great need for mobile developers in the Windsor-Essex area ... Many local IT companies and startups need to hire graduates with these skills and will continue to have to look outside our catchment area,” said Nikita. Veronique Mandal, co-ordinator of St. Clair College’s converged journalism program, was planning on submitting an application to create a documentary film program. Her efforts were thwarted due to the recent suspension. “Until you have all of your ducks in a row and all of the ministry approvals, you can’t advertise [programs]. Certainly, we would not have done that anyway until we had all those approvals,” said Mandal. “We won’t be able to proceed in any significant way until the ministry [makes] decisions about what is going to be able to be offered at any particular campus.” “I don’t think there’s anything thats a big unknown right now except what the final decision is going to be. Everybody understands that there is a process in place,” she added.
THE URBANITE » URBANITENEWS.COM » DEC. 18, 2013 » 5
Villains Beastro owner Geoff Zanetti is getting his bar ready for a low key New Year’s Eve celebration » Photo Jay Verspeelt
Tips for a low key NYE ADAM D’ANDREA At some point in December, most of us are bound to receive this frantic text message or phone call from at least one friend: “WHAT ARE WE DOING FOR NEW YEAR’S?!?”
“Holiday Spending Outlook,” Canadians will spend an average of $1,810 this holiday season on gifts, travelling, entertaining and other expenses.
“For New Years it’s really an alternative to a hall, to a house party, to just a bar or a live venue or something like that. It’s just something different.”
The pressure to have big, elaborate plans for New Year’s Eve can be a bit overwhelming for some people. The solution to this is usually to have a house party and invite a few close friends or family, but some local bars will be offering relaxed and inexpensive alternatives this year.
Neill said they decided on keeping things simple at the Dominion House because bigger plans can sometimes lead to bigger disappointments.
The celebration at Villains will also have no cover and a laid back atmosphere, but Zanetti said he sees no problem with spending some money and making big plans for New Year’s Eve.
The Dominion House will be hosting a laid back New Year’s Eve party with no cover charge and a performance by local band Years of Ernest. “We find that at this time of the year everybody’s been so gouged and has spent so much money on Christmas and everything else,” said Kristian Neill, co-owner of the Dominion House. “We want people to focus on having a good time as opposed to having to spend money.” According to the Bank of Montreal’s 2013
“Often times we found in the past that the more you pump up New Years, the more disappointing it is for those who go out,” said Neill. “So if you just keep it simple and enjoy it as a good night, a larger night and a celebration, but not an over-the-top celebration, then it balances out and people tend to have a better time.” Villains Beastro will also be hosting their third annual Pop Your Cherryoke karaoke event this New Years. “We like throwing karaoke parties, there’s no denying that,” said Villains owner Geoff Zanetti.
“It is a great reason to party,” said Zanetti. “It’s the end of the old year and the beginning of a new one, so why not have a great time? It makes perfect sense.” However, Zanetti also said the right plans depend on the person. “There are tons of options. There’s staying at home with your family, there’s having a house party with your family and friends, there’s going out to a bar and just ringing it in with a few of the locals downtown,” he saidi. “And then there’s going out to a club or going to a hall. So there are different stages of New Years. Pick your stage.”
New Year’s Eve is an economic driver for the downtown core and DWBIA chair Larry Horwitz commented that the evening creates lots of business for establishments of all types. “There’s a lot of business that’s created for New Year’s Eve. Restaurants are busy and hotels are full,” said Horwitz. “Economically, it’s a huge economic driver for downtown. A lot of [businesses] gear up for New Year’s Eve … that’s their Christmas.” Horwitz is unable to gauge the direct economic impact of the evening due to a lack of a formal study on the subject. If you’re still panicking because you don’t have the biggest and best plans Dec. 31, just remember there’s no right or wrong way to ring in the New Year. There are plenty of ways to make your evening fun and memorable without emptying your bank account.
Food& dRinK
rino’s kitchen preps for tv spot
“You can’t deny that it feels good to be on national coast-to-coast television.” -RINO BORTOLIN
jon liedtke You’ve Gotta Eat Here!, The Food Network’s popular television show, is coming back to Windsor in January to film a segment at Rino’s Kitchen and Ale House. Owner Rino Bortolin has known for eight months that his downtown establishment was selected, but was forced to keep his lips sealed. “The vetting process was nerveracking because obviously we wanted it and it sort of took a good month or two before we got a [final yes],” said Bortolin. “For us, for a small place like this when we’re trying to
Rino Bortolin, owner of Rino’s Kitchen, is excited his restaurant will be featured on The Food Network next year » Photo Jon Liedtke get word out, to be on The Food Network is kind of a godsend. It’s definitely going to have a huge impact for us.” Show producer Rachel Horvath said the show employs a team of four researchers whose job it is to find restaurants. “It really is [a strong vetting process],” said Horvath. “It takes a long time because we have 26 episodes per season and three restaurants in each episode. It’s a lot of restaurants and it’s a lot of vetting. We want to feel confident that each place that we’re recommending and endorsing [is] right.”
Teresa Piruzza, MPP Windsor West
HELPING FAMILIES SUCCEED IS JOB ONE “Our economic plan is strengthening the middle class and helping people in their everyday lives.” 2570 Dougall Avenue, Unit #2 Windsor, ON N8X 1T6 Tel 519.977.7191 | Fax 519.977.7029 E: tpiruzza.mpp.co@liberal.ola.org www.teresapiruzza.ca @teresapiruzza
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JOBS & GROWTH People. Infrastructure. Business.
“What’s great about Rino’s is he really just does amazing classic comfort food. [It’s] the sort of stuff that would be your favourite home cooking but better than you could ever cook it at home,” said Horvath. “Rino’s is in a quaint historical house, so it just lends to the whole feeling of comfort. It really goes well with the food and it’s a really attractive place to go.” Bortolin will prepare a total of nine dishes for filming, of which three will be focused on by the host in the kitchen. An airdate for the episode has not been determined, but will be sometime in the first quarter of the year.
“It’ll be nice to [be featured] on national television. Friends and family in [different] parts of the country can watch and sort of relish in the attention equally as much as the people here [in Windsor],” said Bortolin. “You can’t deny that it feels good to be on national coast-to-coast television.” You’ve Gotta Eat Here! will also feature Walkerville resturant The Twisted Apron this season. Windsor restaurants Bubi’s Awesome Eats, Motor Burger and Smoke & Spice have also been profile in past episodes.
THE URBANITE » URBANITENEWS.COM » DEC. 18, 2013 » 7
expat returns to spice things up
“I came home ... and decided Windsor has something going on right now, I like the vibe of it.”
homemade soup decadent desserts citywide catering ... 25 Amy Croft Dr. St. Clair Shores Shopping Centre Lakeshore, Ontario
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natasha marar Artist and Windsor expat Jeff Denomme “always screws around in the kitchen,” but his professional roots are far from the culinary arts. Denomme works as a graphic designer, artist and photographer, and is the founder of the popular, punk/skater Fathom Clothing and Haunted Zoo fashion and lifestyle lines. He moved from Windsor to Vancouver in 2007. Now, he’s taken his arsenal of creative skills to the kitchen to create Papa D’s, a line of hot, flavourful condiments. Last December, Denomme decided he wanted to give a unique gift to friends and conceived the idea of making his own hot sauce. He made a small batch and the response was great, so he
headed back to the kitchen and it created about 60 sets of hot sauces over the next couple of days. Rather than make the hot sauces for the Vancouver market, Denomme decided to sublet his apartment and head back home to Windsor six months ago. “I came home in the summer last year ... and I decided Windsor has something going on right now, I like the vibe of it. I want to come back and help my hometown,” said Denomme. “The overall mentality (of Windsorites) is, ‘We can’t do that. We can’t compete in that.’ No, we can. Why not? All it takes is an attitude change and go out and participate in your community.” Papa D’s offers a trio of hot condiments: Jalbanero Honey, Tropical Hot Sawce and Hot Olive Oil. “I like to think of it like breakfast, lunch and dinner. For breakfast you use your honey on your cream cheese and bagels and your oatmeal ... your hot sawce for pizza, burgers, tacos you’d have for lunch and your hot oils for sauteing veggies for pastas and stir fries at night.” “It’s a flavour first, hot sauce second,” said Denomme about Tropical Hot Sawce. “It gets hot, don’t get me wrong. It’s hotter than your average hot sauce.
Denomme has produced around 1,500 bottles, which he has been selling online and at local events for the past month. He expects to be sold out by Christmas. “South Detroit and Chanoso’s brought me on board to make [the products] in their kitchen and it just started selling like crazy.” Denomme wants to develop more condiments in the the future, but for now is focusing on the three flagship products. Papa D’s is available for sale online and can be sampled at select Windsor restaurants, including South Detroit, Loose Goose, Dirty Jerseys Sports Grill and The Barrel House Draught Co. Denomme hopes to sell the hot trio at local retail stores in the future. “I think Windsor has huge potential,” said Denomme. “Windsor is not too small, Windsor is not too close-minded. Start trying new things and support your local small businesses.” Papa D’s is hosting a Hot Sawce Tailgate Tasting Party from 6 - 10 p.m. on Dec. 20 at South Detroit. Tickets for the event are $5, and that includes beer and food samples with Papa D’s Hot Sawce.
THE URBANITE » URBANITENEWS.COM » DEC. 18, 2013 » 8
Motor Craft Ales racing to produce new brews
» Photo Jenn McMullan
NYE? There’s an app for that JENN MCMULLAN
Motor Burger is expanding its Motor Craft Ales selection » Photo Jon Liedtke jon liedtke Not content to stay still, Motor Craft Ales is racing towards offering one of the most extensive beer selections in the region. Since opening in 2009, Motor Burger has expanded their operation from an upscale burger restaurant on Erie Street to an entirely new business venture. Co-owner Gino Gesuale said that beer production has grown and that he hopes to supply local residents with craft beer through his newly acquired manufacturing license. “We just want to produce damn good beer and serve it to people … give people an option [and] choice,” said Gesuale. “This is our whole core focus of what we’re doing, to get out there, to get the brand out there, and to give people a choice.” Gesuale explained that the Motor brand is about being local and community oriented. “Let’s do it for the people of Windsor to make Windsor a better place. It’s not like I’m saving the planet or anything … it is rewarding when people come in and say it’s great beer.” Motor Craft Ales routinely collaborates with
local suppliers to produce unique brews for the region. Past collaborations have included Klassen’s Blueberries, Serenity Lavender and, most recently, with Whipsaw Coffee. “The reason we’re doing that [collaborating with local producers] is because we believe in staying local,” said Gesuale, noting that there will be more collaborations in the future. “We make great beer, so why not put it together and let’s make it interesting.”
New Year’s Eve is about friends, champagne, good food and possibly some glitter thrown in. I like to spend as much time on cooking as I do on the count down. So it was essential I found recipes I could put together quickly while still being able to present them proudly. Try these quick and simple recipes, perfect for everyone whether it’s time or cooking skills you lack. Savoury Salmon Bites: (crostini, smoked salmon, dill cream cheese, capers) This might be the best thing that’s come into my life since Pinterest. The combination of the ingredients fit together better than peanut butter and jelly. Start by cutting the crostini into one inch thick slices, spread the cream cheese over the bread, place a slice of smoked salmon on top and garnish with capers. Hummus Shots: (clear plastic cups, hummus, carrots, celery, red pepper)
This is the one shot on New Year’s that won’t leave you with a headache. To Even with upwards of a $100,000 investment make the hummus, bring a two cans of in the brewing operation, Gesuale said that it chickpeas to boil and simmer for five minutes. Drain, reserving some of the was “a good thing” that new breweries were liquid. Place in a blender and add the opening in the region. juice of one lemon, three tablespoons of tahini, four cloves of garlic and salt “Microbreweries are a very small percentage to taste. Scoop a thin layer of hummus of the pie. It’s a matter of getting that variety into the bottom of the cup and smooth out there, getting people out there to do things it out with a spoon. Cut the red pepper, celery and carrots into sticks, then place and giving people the choice,” said Gesuale. standing up inside the cup. The hum“There’s always room for everybody. I like the mus will hold the vegetables upright and idea of things being made locally and people create the perfect individualized veggie trying things. That’s what’s going to make and dip snack minus the double dipping cesspool. Windsor a better place.”
A date with bacon: (toothpicks, pitted dates, bacon, chili powder) If you’re ever looking for a way to instantly capture the attention of a room in less than five seconds, tell them you wrapped something in bacon. Cut the bacon strips in half, sprinkle with chilli powder, roll the date inside a bacon strip and secure with a toothpick. Cook in the oven on broil for four minutes on each side and they’re ready to serve. This perfect sweet and salty combination will have people stuffing them in their pockets like Napoleon and his tots. Rainbow Fruit Kabobs: (skewers, strawberries, pineapple, watermelon, green grapes, purple grapes, cantaloupe, blueberries, optional: vanilla yogurt, chocolate chips) Not only is this appetizer fast and easy, but the visual of the bright colours is appealing to the eye. With a skewer in hand, place one piece of each fruit on the skewer, and accompany with vanilla yogurt or melted chocolate dip. Mini Nacho Plate: (scoop nachos, pre-cooked chicken, onion, tomato black olive, shredded cheese, salsa and sour cream) Like pizza and french fries, nachos are one of those foods few people dislike. In a bowl mix pieces of finely chopped chicken, onion, tomato and black olives. Put a tablespoon of the mixture into the nacho scoop and top with cheese. Cook in the oven at 200 C (400 F) for a few minutes or until cheese is melted. Top off with a dollop of salsa or sour cream for a sure fire crowd pleaser.
ARTS
THE URBANITE » URBANITENEWS.COM » DEC. 18, 2013 » 9
Phog Lounge owners Frank Incitti and Tom Lucier reflect on serving the Windsor music scene for the last decade » Photo Jay Verspeelt
Lounge acts; 10 years of Phog natasha marar On Jan. 2., downtown’s Phog Lounge will celebrate 10 years of bringing live music, delicious poutine and cultural exchanges to Windsorites. Phog Lounge is commemorating the occasion by hosting a 10-year anniversary themed event each month next year. Co-owner Frank Incitti and Tom Lucier started the business while hanging out at Lift Lounge, the bar that would eventually become Phog. Incitti previously owned a cafe that “ended badly” and he swore he wouldn’t own another business. The owners of Lift said they were closing and the financial projections sounded promising so Incitti said he “couldn’t resist” opening Phog Lounge. Lucier and Incitti remarked about the number of performers, over 1,400, that have graced Phog’s stage in the last decade. Polaris Music Prize nominated musicians including Patrick Watson, Holy Fuck, Young Galaxy and Suuns have made the rounds. Lucier also notes Hamilton’s Wax Mannequin, “who comes here and kills.” Incitti said Arkells got their start playing at the bar, and The Mark Inside, Lindy and Grand Analogue are among his favourite Phog performers. “We don’t deal in the major names that you pay $50 [to see] in Detroit … after they’ve played here for $5,” said Lucier. “They come here and then they morph into something else. These places (music venues) exist all over Canada, but that is what [Phog] is for this city.”
Throughout the years, Phog has also played host to a number of cultural events and projects, including weekly open mic sessions, art shows, retro video game nights, poetry and book readings and, most recently, Friday night DJ dance parties. Lucier also started the Windsor Music Tangle, a large poster encompassing the connections between various Windsor musicians, which has grown into an interactive website database. “When we first opened, people came to know us as the place you can do anything,” said Incitti. “It didn’t matter how ridiculous it was, as long as it wasn’t illegal we were opened to it.” Another project that is uniquely Phog is a series of journals Lucier maintains called The Phog Quote Book. Lucier started the books to capture offhand remarks from patrons. Lucier is currently talking with a local publisher about having the books published. “When I first started writing stuff down it was about what was unique as opposed to terrible. Right now the only things that make it into the book are things that are so ridiculously outlandish,” said Lucier. “I like to write down sentences I don’t think I’ll ever hear again.” In 2009, Phog made news nationally when it won a CBC Radio 3 award for being the best live music venue in Canada. Phog celebrated the win by closing the street in front and hosting an all-day concert, which would become the annual Phog Phest.
Lucier and Incitti said the recognition provided the venue with national regard and saw more out-of-town bands request to play Phog. But Lucier said the win didn’t necessarily bring more locals to the venue. “People constantly like things and safely appreciate things from a distance and aren’t there when it matters. They don’t give credit to the musicians who they never heard of before. I’m talking about the majority of people. The majority of my customers are the exact opposite. They’re always here … they’re always supporting that super talented, local scene.” While Phog has had it’s ups and downs like any small business, Lucier explained that over the years it has still been difficult to attract customers unfamiliar with the bar. Lucier added, “I’m desperately wanting to post a big sign on the front of our building that’s like, ‘Phog Lounge; not a private club for 10 years.’ Because people who come in here [and have] never been here, love their time when they come in, love the food, love the craft beer selection, and then go, ‘I just thought it was a private club.’ What do you mean it’s a private club? Private club? There’s a fucking open sign on it.” Despite the challenge of trying to reach new audiences, Phog enjoys a loyal following of those interested in live music and the city’s cultural affairs. “We take pride in what we do and we’re friendly. It’s a cozy place,” said Lucier.
“They (loyal customers) don’t sit at home and watch TV. That doesn’t satiate their interest in life or their city or participating in a greater culture exchange. ... there’s a lot going on here. People who make some of the best events happen in the city, the best small businesses, they hang out here. It’s where they hatch ideas.” Phog’s owners said while there have been regrets and challenges over the years, operating the bar has afforded them lots of opportunities, skills and the ability to meet interesting people. “I like engaging with unique people here ... I like having people come here and tell me about cool new projects they’re working on. It’s an extremely rewarding place to be,” said Lucier. Phog’s anniversary events are still being planned, with the first one being a birthday party on Jan. 2. Lucier said he is bringing in everyone who ever hosted Monday’s open mic night to perform together on Jan. 8. Other event ideas include bringing back former staff for a bartending battle. Also in the works is a night to bring all Detroit friends and bands to Phog, and an art show where artists have to make a piece of art that captures their take on the bar. The events are meant to point “a spotlight on the specialities of what this place has meant to Frank and me,” said Lucier.
THE URBANITE » URBANITENEWS.COM » DEC. 18, 2013 » 10
Chatham street icon leaves cultural mark
“It’s nice to be a part of some of that that’s still remaining, so long as it’s still remaining.“
» Photos Jay Verspeelt
natasha marar For over 30 years, Jay Zeman has worked at The Loop Complex at the corner of Chatham and Ferry streets. His work, which can be aptly described as a labour of love, has seen him do everything from booking some of the most famous live music acts the city has seen to changing light bulbs and attending to water leaks in a building that has been a downtown icon for 100 years. Zeman began by bartending and booking live music gigs. He managed The Fish Market for over eight years before taking over management of The Coach and Horses and eventually becoming owner of the whole entertainment complex. “It’s been like one long day since then. I just wake up and do essentially the same thing … but it’s something I enjoy.” Zeman is not the only longtimer in the building, as most staff have been working there for over a decade. Pogos manager Ian Phillips has worked at The Loop Complex for 15 years. “This is the bar I grew up drinking at. It’s my living room away from home” he said. “It makes me happy to be able to work in a place with history behind it,” said Phillips. “Every few years another building gets knocked down ... We’re within a stone’s throw to this Chrysler building, this monstrosity of a parking garage. A little office block attached was in fairly recent memory
one of the nicest blocks of storefronts left in the city. Gone now for reason. It’s nice to be a part of some of that that’s still remaining, for as long as it’s still remaining.” The Loop Complex’s has a long and varied history that started 100 years ago. According to The Windsor Evening Record, the 25,000 square foot building was designed by Toronto architect Wells and Gray and opened in 1913 as Universal Car Agency. The automobile dealership had with a showroom and J.M. Lord grocery store on the main floor and repairs on the second floor. In October 1924, The Baum & Brody Furniture Company moved their store from Riverside Drive East into the upper floor of the building. Original showcases still exist and serve to display alcohol bottles behind the main bar at The Loop. The Coach & Horses opened in 1979; The Fish Market as a restaurant in 1977. Zeman said The Loop’s main entrance used to be called The Blue Room, which was later turned into Pogo’s Pizza before eventually becoming a secondary stairwell going upstairs to The Loop when it opened at the end of 1994. The popular indie-dance club initially launched as a live music venue. “The charm of this building is when you get 800 people in here it’s really cool, the vibe that’s going on. Fifteen, 10 years ago even, when Windsor had more people and jobs, it was interesting to see this place humming
every night. It was like a big blur, so busy all the time. So many amazing bands over the years.” A number of high profile music acts have passed through these bars. Nirvana played at The Coach & Horses in April 1990; Queen’s of the Stone Age at The Loop in 1999. The Tea Party got their start in the space that is now The Loop, which they used for practices. They even shot their first music video on the roof. “I’ve seen so many no name bands that have put on great shows; it’s not the big bands, it’s not the big shows. It’s great to see artists who have honed their craft to such a high degree, but when you see the younger bands who no one recognizes, who are just amazing, that’s why I keep doing this ... to see undiscovered gems,” said Zeman. On a recent tour through the complex, Zeman pointed at some familiar and some more hidden architectural features of the building. The old fireplace at The Coach & Horses still works and the chalkboards there used to be stained glass windows. Original wooden wall sconces and a tin ceiling adorn the lower level bars. The spaceship DJ booth at The Loop came from one of the first skate shops in Windsor, explained Zeman. It’s so large it had to be moved over on a flatbed truck and took 10 people to carry it up the stairs. There is also an elevator still tucked behind a wall that backs the main bar in The Loop. The
elevator has wooden rails that were too costly to replace with steel and so it was decommissioned in the late 1980s. Zeman pointed to a covered skylight that he wants to restore. Despite the building’s history, maintaining the large complex has proven difficult over the years. “It takes a certain type to appreciate the charm of a place like this. The building is old, it’s drafty, it can use a makeover. It gets cold here in the winter, hot in the summer, there’s leaks from time-to-time,” said Phillips. “The trade off to that is working in a place where you have those quirks, and I think a part of me would miss it if all those problems went away.” Although Zeman owns the business, he doesn’t have control of the building itself. “Over the years, we’ve attempted to buy the building from [owner] Rob [Katzman] and he doesn’t want to sell,” said Zeman, who would like to see more maintenance and renovations done to the place. “I would love to [do renovations to the building], but it’s prohibitive because there’s no incentive for us to soak thousands and thousands of dollars into someone else’s asset.” “If the owner would sell to us, I would definitely start preserving the history.”
1.»
Beyoncé – BEYONCÉ
Released: Dec. 12 INTERACTIVE PRINT
Moments before midnight on Thursday and without any hype Beyoncé released her new “visual album,” BEYONCÉ and the Internet exploded with delight.
the best albums of 2013» Download the free Layar App
INTERACTIVE PRINT
Beyoncé avoided the likelihood of the album leaking online with the sneak release of her fifth solo LP. She appropriated the cash usually reserved for promo and spent it on the production of 17 videos, usurping the album’s 14 songs. “I see music,” said the former Destiny’s Child in a release. “It’s more than just what I hear. When I’m connected to something, I immediately see a visual or a series of images that are tied to a feeling or an emotion, a memory from my childhood, thoughts about life, my dreams or my fantasies. And they’re all connected to the music.”
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» Leonard Thomas
The release is a departure for Queen Bey, it’s more mature and seemingly less pandering to the demands of the record industry. And though it’s lacking in bangers (see “Single Ladies” and “Run the World”), mama Beyoncé’s release is a lot more real and honest than her past efforts. It’s notably a pro-woman offering, and Mrs. Jay Z is not scared to say the Fword. “Yoncé” feels like the theme tune for a Trinidadian girl gang, the ambient beats and spoken-word vocal of “Ghost” and “Haunted” remind us why strong women are insurmountably sexier than the Mileys of the world, “Pretty Hurts” laments the hypocrisy of beauty pageant culture urging, “perfection is the disease of a nation,” while “***Flawless” (featuring Nigerian feminist writer Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie) with its vintage street hip-hop vibe drives home the message; “Feminist, the person who believes in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes.” In a moment of post-partum candor on “Mine” (featuring Drake) she questions, “I’m not feeling myself since the baby, are we gonna even make it?” Nice job, though in the French dance inspired “Partition” she slips, “Take all of me, I just wanna be the girl you like.” What happened to being an Independent Woman? Worse still, the video for “XO”, the albums closest thing to a pop anthem, was directed by the fashion photographer/ sexual predator/massive creep Terry Richardson. Its shot in the day and no one get naked, but still his tainted name is poison to a project like this.
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6. Daft Punk 4. Fuck Buttons
2. Kanye West – Yeezus Released: June 18
At first listen you can almost write off West’s new LP the way many of us want to; as unsubstantiated ego mixed with ill-advised bouts of misogyny set to Crystal Castlesesque distorted beats and blips. Yeezus is a career defining album and West has lashed together a diverse 40 minutes of non-commercial hip-hop record that, despite (or because of) the desire to hate West as a person, is one of the best hip-hop records of all time.
3. My Bloody Valentine - mbv Released: Feb. 3
Back in February, My Bloody Valentine surprised the music world by quietly releasing their first album since 1991’s criticallyacclaimed Loveless. The gritty echo-laden guitars and dream-like Other personal on either side of the audio-visual release include Timbaland, vocals that made the band one of the most influential of the 90s and Justin Timberlake, Pharrell, Miguel, Frank Ocean (on the exceptional ambi- defined shoegaze are back, though ent doo-wop groove of “Superpower”), MBV is not Loveless part two. MBV’s sonic architecture subtly Mr. Beyoncé (a.k.a. Jay Z), even baby Bey herself; 11-month-old Blue Ivy. builds around you until track seven, “In Another Way,” with maIt’s not perfect, but it’s seemingly honest chine gun drum loops, My Bloody while musically and visually engaging, Valentine hit the flood lights and and that’s rare in pop music. There is a expose the awesome (in the true little ego in the presentation, but that’s sense of the word) synesthesiac’s nothing compared to No. 2 on the list. cathedral they’ve spent the last two decades building.
- Random Access Memories Released: May 21
If anyone still considered Daft Punk a novelty act (see “Da Funk”) RAM is spinning proof that the French electro duo are card holding Not unlike their naughtily named members of the incredibly talented Canadian cousins Holy Fuck, Fuck sound crafters club. RAM pulls out Buttons make big raw instruelements of synth-pop, disco, soft mental pieces with everything rock, prog and Jean Michel André from toys to karaoke machines Jarre-esque synth epics, even mixto archaic computer software. ing in some dance floor bangers, Unlike Holy Fuck, Fuck Buttons, notable the summer feel-good-hit with Slow Focus have taken it to “Get Lucky.” It came together in a the next level. Slow Focus see the stunning package, cover-to-cover, duo come in to their own. With meticulously laid out and found its structured pieces of perfect tone way into the record collections of and sonic spacing, they expand on synth nerds, hip-hop fans, ravers, their strength of creating atmojazz people, top-40 lists and everyspheres rather than electro-pop one in between; no small feat for a nursery rhymes. Personally, Slow couple of French nerds in shinny Focus, is my favourite LP of 2013. helmets.
8.
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Discover interactive content
Discover The interactive Knife conte
- Shaking the Habitual Released: April 8
Shaking the Habitual is the fourth album by the Swedish electronic music duo. Centred on feminist and queer theory, with a side environmentalism and structuralism, the LP likely lost some of their fair weather fans. Not only are the themes of the recording a challenge to the lay-listener, musically The Knife push further in to experimentalism, incorporating more organic sounds than ever before in to the at times cacophonous barrage of synths and boxed drums. If you make a pact with the album and get lost in it, at the end of the near 100-minute journey you come out on the other side a different person, hopefully a better one.
- Slow Focus Released: July 23
5. Iceage -
You’re Nothing Released: Feb. 19
You’re Nothing breeds a dark, gritty genuine brand of punk that rarely sees the lights of a big label, at least not while the band is still making great music. The desperation is like that of The Germs, the guitars mix equal parts Circle Jerks and My Bloody Valentine, and the selfproduction recalls a classic punk and post-punk DIY ethic. Iceage are young (the members are all 20-years-old), abrasive and experimental and that’s likely why they don’t sound retro carbon copies of old punks, they are simply making punk rock the way grandma used to, and it shows.
9. Push the Sky Away
- Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds Released: April 8
Nick Cave and co. never fail to disappoint even after years of new material. What is so impressive about Push the Sky Away is the songwriting, while deliberate, echoes in an eerie effortlessness, culling raw elements from earlier Bad Seeds material, the strength of Grinderman and the painfully perfect beauty of Cave’s The Boatman’s Call liquid grit, all while sounding like nothing he’s done before.
7. Factory Floor - Factory Floor Released: Sept. 9
Factory Floor’s early work, notably the 2008 single had many writing the band off as a The Fall/Joy Division sound alike band. Even the name was a little too much of a reference to Factory Records and Factory nightclub. Luckily, the London, UK trio’s debut LP, swapped the Joy Division gloom for Kraftwerk’s arsenal of sequencers and synths, importantly they kept the live drums and juxtaposed shoe-gazing mumbles against pulsating analog synths. Factory Floor is the apocalyptic retro rave soundtrack that any planet in decline would be happy to call their own.
10.
Arcade Fire - Reflektor Released: Oct. 29
Reflektor’s over 85 minutes of sharp, clean, contemporary indie indulgence is so good I’ve taken off all of my clothing and thrown it away, and in compliance with their dress code will only dress hipster-formal. That’s not true. While there are five or six excellent tracks on the double-LP, there is quite a lot of filler. Self indulgence may have gotten in the way of a fat trimming edit that would’ve made Reflektor a better long-player, though with the album topping many best of 2013 lists, many would likely disagree.
LIFE
Bernie Drouillard is assembling over 50 years of research for his new book on Windsor transit » Photo Jay Verspeelt. Archive photos courtesy Bernie Drouillard
Transit historian lays tracks for new book jay verspeelt Tucked away in a quiet and unassuming west end home sits what may be the city’s most extensive record of its transit system. Bernie Drouillard is a transit historian who, while never having worked for the the former Sandwich Walkerville and Amherstburg (SW&A) or Transit Windsor systems has been documenting Windsor public transit with fervor for over half a century. As the past recedes into distant memories, Drouillard is hoping to keep the record in check one page at a time. Drouillard is now retired from Ford Motor Company and has attended every Transit Windsor board meeting for the last 10 years. After decades of documenting, he’s working on a book about Windsor’s old streetcars. The book is 15 years in the making.
Drouillard has traveled as far as Ottawa to source photos for the book, but much of the information has come from old local newspapers. Drouillard spent countless hours scouring through old microfilm to dig out his material. “I’ve been reading really old magazines from back in the 20s and 30s and they had a lot of detail in them. If systems would improve or buy new cars there would be an article about it. That let me put together a list of the fleet of streetcars they had.” Who will be publishing the book is a matter of secrecy for the time, but Drouillard assured that it would be printed and bound in the city. It’s going to be a soft cover book to keep the costs low. The more
printed copies that can be made and sold under $30 the better in Drouillard’s eyes, but he says he’s not in it for the money. As he sat in his basement surrounded by volumes of old documents, bus parts and models, Drouillard explained the story of what happened to North Americas first street car system. In 1920s, the SW&A was sold to the municipality and every year the city ran it on a deficit, as is often the case with public transit. By 1934, the system was in serious debt. W.H. Furlong was put in charge to guarantee the money would be repaid. The process lasted until the 1970s, and a few years later, SW&A became Transit Windsor. Drouillard said that the death knell to street cars came when Furlong approached
Ford to borrow four gasoline powered buses. Furlong put them on the Amherstburg line, which ran parallel to the street cars. He wanted to prove that the bus was more efficient than the streetcar. According to Drouillard, Furlong’s gambit worked and within a week no one was riding the street cars. The buses were faster and more comfortable. “I’d like to show that we did have regional transit and I’d like to show the politics that played a big part [in the system] and how it’s happening again,” said Drouillard. “We spent $78 million for Fast Eddie’s water world, [$23 million] for the white elephant at the airport, but we can’t give a couple million to transit to improve service. That bugs me.”
THE URBANITE » URBANITENEWS.COM » DEC. 18, 2013 » 13
check out exclusive web content, event calender with daily updates and more on urbanitenews.com
SAVAGE LOVE Q:
I’m a I’ve talked to my girlfriends, my mom, and his mom, but I need some unbiased advice. I’m a 28-year-old woman in a relationship for 3.5 years with a wonderful man, also 28. I hit the jackpot: He is loving, sweet, kind, driven, active, handsome, generous, etc. We’re very committed to each other and planning our future together. We’ve lived together for 2.5 years. Life is so great! Enter the issue: We’ve been discussing marriage since January of this year. Until May, he was opposed to it. Not in the can’t-see-spendingthe-rest-of-my-life-with-you way, but in the not-wanting-to-marryanyone-in-the-near-future way. “I don’t feel old enough yet,” he says, which makes me want to slap him, because my baby-making years are flying by. We talk about wanting the same things in life, like a family and a home, but those are things I won’t do with him unless we are married and also things I don’t want to start doing when I’m 35. We’ve talked about not wanting to be old parents and we seem to agree on everything—except he won’t pull the trigger. I just don’t get it! We did make some progress. In August, he mentioned the possibly of a proposal around the holidays, which are upon us. But when his mom asked if they should go shopping for a ring, he told her no! That blows a holiday engagement! I am ready for the next phase. He says he is too, but he won’t propose. I don’t get it! Some guidance would be great. Put Off Proposal Depresses A Queenslander
A:
This is going to seem random, POPDAQ, but indulge me for a second. There was an article in the New York Times recently about how young men still aren’t doing their fair share of the cooking and cleaning. “Women today make up 40 percent of America’s sole or primary breadwinners for families with children under 18,” Stephen Marche wrote. “[But] men’s time investment in housework has not significantly altered in nearly 30 years.” Reading Marche’s piece—in which he makes the case not for men to do more housework (God forbid), but for men and women to live together in filth—made me say, “So glad I’m gay.” Out loud. On an airplane. I sometimes have that reaction when I read stories about “the gender wars,” which Marche is currently writing a book about, or when I read smut-shaming bullshit about straight men and porn. But Marche’s essay elicited a different sort of so-glad-I’m-gay response. It went something like this: “I’m so glad I’m gay because my husband and I don’t have the option of defaulting to the stupid gender norms, roles, expectations, neuroses, and riptides that plague so many straight couples.” So despite the fact that we’re both men, my husband and I do not live together in filth. When a bed needs to be made or a dish needs to be washed or a floor needs to be mopped—or a spouse’s cock needs to be sucked—one of us makes, washes, mops, or sucks it. When there’s something that needs doing, we do it. We don’t sit around staring at an unmade
THE URBANITE » URBANITENEWS.COM » DEC. 18, 2013 » 14
bed or a dirty dish or a grimy floor or an unsucked spousal cock and think, “I have a dick— so bed-making/dish-doing/ floor-mopping/cock-sucking isn’t my job.” Do you see where I’m going with this, POPDAQ? There’s something at your place that needs doing—a proposal needs making—and you’re sitting around waiting for him to do it. Why? Because he has the dick. “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” Mahatma Gandhi said that*, POPDAQ, but I don’t need to tell you, right? Because that quote was at the bottom of your e-mail. So here’s a thought: Be the change you want to see in your own fucking relationship. You want to get engaged to this guy? Propose to him. Yes, yes: He has a penis, and traditionally the penis-havers** do the proposing in Breederville. But it’s not unheard of for someone to make a marriage proposal to a man. Just ask my husband.
Q:
Hello from Hong Kong! I’m a 28-yearold gay guy living happily with my boyfriend. My sexual interests have always been men, but a few months ago, I stumbled across femdom porn on the internet. Images of submissive men under the control of dominant women are so fascinating to me that I have been masturbating three times a day watching femdom porns. I have never been interested in straight porn or fucking someone without a cock, and I have no experience in BDSM at all. Gay BDSM porns don’t get me as aroused as femdom porns. I now fantasize about being dominated and humiliated
»Change Agent
by a woman. I began looking at pro-dom ads on the internet and I hesitate to see one. I love my boyfriend, and emotionally we connect, but my femdom fantasy has become a taboo between us. My questions: Is seeing a pro dom considered cheating on my boyfriend? Should I go see a pro dom and keep it a secret? How can I talk to my boyfriend about my new sexual interest? Gay Man Seeks Lady Dom
A:
If your boyfriend considers it cheating, then it’s cheating. But I nevertheless think you should see a pro dom for a no-sex domination session. (Most pro doms offer only no-sex sessions.) You might find the reality of being abused by a dominant woman less arousing than the fantasy, GMSLD, so a single session could snap you out of it, i.e., this out-of-sexualcharacter fever could break. And if it doesn’t? Then you need to have a talk with your boyfriend about your evolving sexual identity, your newly discovered kinks, and whether you can have him and your femdom fantasies and/ or realities, too. Good luck.
Q:
I’m a straight 18-yearold girl, and I have been dating my boyfriend for eight months. He recently told me that he wishes we never had sex because he feels like he raped himself by doing it. He has had some bad sexual experiences in the past, but he has initiated almost all of our sexual activity. He says he has problems and a low sense of self-worth. I told him that we can take it slow,
but I’m not sure he’s ever going to be all right with sexual things. He said that he doesn’t mind if I get sex from other people, but I want to help him understand that he’s a good person and that sex isn’t a bad thing. How do I do this? My Sad Boyfriend P.S. We’re both fairly sure that he could be asexual. Can asexual people enjoy sex at all?
A:
Your boyfriend doesn’t need a girlfriend, MSB. What he needs is loving, concerned friends (you could be one) and a trained, competent therapist (you are not one). If having a girlfriend with sexual interests and needs traumatizes your boyfriend, then he shouldn’t have a girlfriend with sexual interests and needs. If he’s a miserable, game-playing jerk who likes to make other people miserable, MSB, and he’s discovered that playing the victim after sex (that he enjoyed) makes his girlfriend miserable, then you shouldn’t have him. * Gandhi did not say that. He said: “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change.” ** Do not confuse penis-havers with penis-halvers. Something else not to do: a Google Images search on “genital bisection.” This holiday season, send the Savage Lovecast as a gift! Find it at savagelovecast.com.
» BY DAN SAVAGE » MAIL@SAVAGELOVE.NET » @FAKEDANSAVAGE
EVENTS
THE URBANITE » URBANITENEWS.COM » DEC. 18, 2013 » 15
FIND AND SUBMIT EVENTS AT Rino’s Kitchen | 7 p.m. URBANITENEWS.COM/EVENTS
COMING UP WEDNESDAY, DEC. 18 Zine Night with Rosina Riccardo Broken City Lab | 7 p.m. Rising Stars Wednesdays Karaoke Night Whisky River | 9 p.m. Alan Penner’s Analoguehandshake Phog Lounge | 4 - 7 p.m.
THURSDAY, DEC. 19 The Tenors The Colosseum Caesars Windsor Blog Party Broken City Lab | 7 p.m.
Windsor’s Nerd Nite IV Phog Lounge | 8:30 p.m. Pint and a Manicure or a Haircut Villains Beastro | $20
FRIDAY, DEC. 20 Christien Gagnier Taloola Cafe | 8 - 9 p.m. The Obbit: An H’Original ‘Oliday Panto Kordazone Theatre | 8 p.m. | $10$15
Dance Stance 7 The Loop | 10 p.m.
SATURDAY, DEC. 21
The Roncy Boys Villains Beastro
Open Mic Surgery w/ James O-L Phog Lounge | doors 9 p.m.
FRIDAY, DEC. 27
TUESDAYS
After Work Party w/ Andrew Macleod Rino’s Kitchen | 7 p.m.
Open Stage Night w/ Year’s of Ernest Dominion House | 5 p.m.
Chelsey Danfield Taloola Cafe | 8 - 9 p.m.
V.O.M.I.T. (Vocal Original Music Instrumental Talent) Villains Beastro
Styx The Colosseum Caesars Windsor
WEDNESDAYS
The Obbit: An H’Original ‘Oliday Panto Kordazone Theatre | 8 p.m. | $10$15 Holiday Open House Windsor Pride Community Centre 3 - 10 p.m. | optional dinner $15 Suzy Myskow w/ Myskow Family Musyk Taloola Cafe | 8 - 9 p.m. Family Holiday Film Days (Home for the Holidays) Olde Walkerville Theatre | 1 p.m. | canned good donation
Toque w/ Dead Broke (Guelph) and Vernal Equinox Phog Lounge | 9: 30 p.m. | $5
Donny and Marie The Colosseum Caesars Windsor Walter Senko w/ Chelsey Danfield and Bobby Sproat The Windsor Beer Exchange | 9 p.m. | $5
Chelsey Danfield Dominion House | 9:30 p.m.
(GrounD)’mas 90s Bash Panache Ultra Lounge | 9 p.m.
Mike Ure Band single release party The Bull n’ Barrel | 9 p.m.
Family 17 The Shelter (Detroit) | 9 p.m. | $10
Papa D’S Hot Sawce Tailgate Tasting Party South Detroit | 6 - 10 p.m. | $5
Laura and Mitchell Glover Phog Lounge
Customer Appreciation Party 29 Park | 10 p.m. Culture 2.0 Club 576 | 11 p.m. | $3
Keneth Macleoad and the Windsor Salt Band w/ The Ill Bachelors of Folk Phog Lounge Menos Mal album release party Villains Beastro The Nefidovs w/ Cellos and The Rowley Estate FM Lounge | 10 p.m.
SATURDAY, DEC. 28
Dub Down Presents: Ugly Sweater Max Marshall & Kenneth Macleod Party 3 w/ Supreme, Notixx, Oculus Taloola Cafe | 8 - 9 p.m. and Otiv The Works (Detroit) | 10 p.m. Keneth Macleoad and the Windsor Salt Band w/ The Ill Bachelors of Folk SUNDAY, DEC. 22 Phog Lounge The Obbit: An H’Original ‘Oliday Belly Dance Showcase and Variety Panto Show Kordazone Theatre | 2 p.m. | $10Villans Beastro | 10 p.m. $15
The Walkervilles w/ The Fisher Kings The Loop | 9 p.m. | $10
Merry Christmas from ClassX w/ TimeGiant and Billy Raffoul Venue Music Hall | 9 p.m. | $10
WEEKLY
Vice Aerial Villains Beastro
Windsor Feminist Theatre Merry Holiday Happy Christmas party Breast Christmas Ever fashion show Common Ground Art Gallery | 2 Level 3 Vodka Emporium | 10 p.m. 11 p.m. Kanye West: The Yeezus Tour Palace Sports and Entertainment (Auburn Hills) | 7 p.m. | $39.50 $89.50
$5 or two canned goods
WEDNESDAY, DEC. 25 11th Annual Christmas Luncheon Mezzo Ristorante & Lounge | 11 a.m. - 2 p.m. Christmas Party Villains Beastro
THURSDAY, DEC. 26
Detroit Bikes First Annual Christmas DJ Stacey Pullen Party The Boom Boom Room | 9 p.m. Temple Bar (Detroit) | 8 p.m. Green Velvet w/ New Agenda and What Seas, What Shores w/ Middle Bruce Bailey Sister and Noordwijk TV Lounge (Detroit) | 9 p.m. | $10 FM Lounge | 10 p.m. Antagonizer w/ Days Fade, Worry After Work Party w/ Andrew and Minors Macleod The Coach & Horses | 9:30 p.m. |
SUNDAY, DEC. 29 Vape Meet Villans Beastro
MONDAY, DEC. 30 George Manury 50th Birthday Party Phog Lounge | 9 p.m.
MONDAYS
Wacky Wexican Wednesdays w/ Dee Russ Dominion House | 5 p.m. P.U.K.E. (People Using Karaoke Equipment) Villains Beastro The Groove Trio FM Lounge | 8 p.m. Vice Aerial Phog Lounge | 10 p.m. THURSDAYS Celtic Night w/ Mark Crampsie Dominion House | 5 p.m. Open Mic w/ Anderson FM Lounge | 10 p.m. FRIDAYS Loveless Fridays w/ Daniel Victor The Loop | 10 p.m. After Work Party Rino’s Kitchen | 7 p.m. SUNDAYS S.U.C.K. (Super Ultimate Championship Karaoke) Villains Beastro
TUESDAY, DEC. 31 New Years Eve 2014 The Boom Boom Room | 9 p.m. | $10 ADV New Years Eve The Bull n’ Barrel | 9 p.m. Pop Your Cherryoke Gala Villains Beastro NYE onethirtyeight Dance The Night Away Olde Walkerville Theatre | 7: 30 p.m. | $25 New Years of Earnest Dominion House | 9 p.m. NYE 2014 Masquerade Vermouth | 9 p.m. | $20
ONGOING 32nd Annual Doin’ The Louvre Holiday Fundraising Exhibition Artcite Inc. | until Dec. 24 Holiday Hodge Podge Mudpuppy Gallery | Amherstburg | until Dec. 22 The Miniature Show Backroom Artist Gallery | until Dec. 22 6 Days of Christmas The Bull n’ Barrel | until Dec. 27 Other Electricities: Works from the AGW Collection Art Gallery of Windsor | until Jan. 5