Volume 2, Issue 2 - Dec. 17, 2014-Jan. 6,2015

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DeC. 17 2014 - JaN. 6 2015 VOl. 02 issue 02 urBaNiTeNeWs.COM

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24 hours in a Detroit squat

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newWe Detroit digs check out two new hangouts

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get ready to roll Windsor sushi chefs face off on

national Food Network challenge

Q

Do you support the focus on investing in neighbourhoods expressed in some Windsor city councillor campaigns? Do you believe this orientation represents a rebuke of the past four years of spending on mega-projects such as the Windsor International Aquatic & Training Centre and you do you think by changing we are somehow detrimentally affecting that past investment?

Don Merrifi eld Jr.

Our new council and mayor have expressed an interest in focusing on neighbourhood development as opposed to “mega projects” that were all the rage for the last two councils. With many new councillors and a new mayor you had to assume there would be a change in priorities for this version of council. If you look outside of Windsor (which we rarely do), neighbourhood development has been probably the biggest factor in turning around many large municipalities in Canada and the United States.

Years ago Toronto looked at their “bad” neighbourhoods and saw that at the core of any neighbourhood are a group of citizens who care want to see their area revitalized.

It benefits the citizens financially and improves living conditions for their families.

Neighbourhood “branding” is a great way to highlight what is good in any neighbourhood and creates a sense of pride for the people living there. Even what some would consider “bad” neighbourhoods usually have a good history and something the whole area can latch on to. We see it slowly starting to happen in Sandwich Towne and Ford City; two areas many people in our area would never consider living or run-

»rOse CITy POlITICs

should Windsor invest in neighbourhoods over mega projects? ning a business. These are two of our most historical areas of our city and should be the perfect area for neighbourhood investment. In any major city these two areas would hold the same cache as we have for Walkerville. Years of political neglect have let these areas fade. All we have to do is look across the river and see the worst example of municipal decline, and also the best examples of neighbourhood redevelopment starting the comeback. With some investment in basic infrastructure in these areas and a real urban/housing development plan (approving every subdivision and new strip mall proposed is not a plan, maybe a bad one) our city could become a patchwork of different historical, and ethnic neighbourhoods that would truly make a difference for everyone living in them, or around them.

Windsor’s obsessive focus on large projects has been our biggest mistake of the past decade. Many cities across North America realized this years ago. Why do we always have to learn the hard way? Don’t try to reinvent the wheel. Our “Made in Windsor” solutions are a cute phrase for usual high cost and no return money wasted investments. Neighbourhoods are the true light at the end of the tunnel.

Kieran McKenzie Absolutely, I support this agenda. In my own council campaign I ran under the slogan “Great Neighbourhoods make Great Cities.” If we want to continue to build our community into a truly incredible place it has to start with people loving where they live. That starts at the neighbourhood level.

It’s also a response to what candidates were hearing on the doorsteps. People may not follow the ebb and flow of the civic discourse or keep track of the current council agenda but they sure as hell know what’s going on just outside their front door, and that’s what they care about. You saw neighbourhood issues increasingly creep into platforms because people were telling candidates about speeding on their street, or the state of the parks in their neighbourhood, the amenities (or lack thereof) in the area.

All politics is local.

With that said, I do think to a certain extent the major capital builds galvanized neighbourhood champions in the city. It’s a fact that investments like the WFCU Centre and the Aquatic Centre led directly to the

Don Merrifi eld Jr.

Fourteen years as a Windsor realtor, musician, father of one son Miles, politicsrun financially conservative yet socially liberal. Merrifield Jr. was a candidate in the 2010 municipal election in Ward 3 for city councillor, a cigar aficionado, motorcycle enthusiast and lover of travel.

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closure of other facilities that had been servicing the community in specific neighbourhoods for years. Waterworld closed as a result of the Aquatic Centre investment, the Riverside and Adstoll Arenas were demolished as a result of the construction of the WFCU arena.

I personally think those two investments will yield lasting benefits to the community generally, but losing the neighbourhood facilities hurt the people living in the impacted areas and created the impetus for candidates to develop a more neighbourhood focus platform. A refocus on neighbourhood became a clear thing to CHANGE as a result.

This is ultimately very healthy for our community regardless of how the discussion landed on this issue. The neighbourhoods need our attention and the only way to move that agenda is to elect people committed to its advancement. We have some champions on council; let’s support their work in this regard.

Kieran McKenzie

Political activist/organizer with a passion for social justice issues. A lifelong WindsorEssex resident, Kieran McKenzie holds an honours BA in political science from the University of Windsor and has been campaigning in both elections and on issues since he could walk.

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»new year’s eve

The bubbliest bang for your buck It wouldn’t be New Year’s Eve without a little bubbly.

Sparkling wines can be delicious and affordable, but they by no means qualify as champagnes.

Champagnes are only produced in Champagne, France and are made from using Chardonnay, Pinot Noir or Pinot Meunier grape varietals.

A true champagne doesn’t need to top out your budget. Here are some champagnes at Windsor LCBOs that are fit for any celebration.

Dom Pérignon Brut Vintage Champagne 2004 Style: Rich & complex Varietal: Sparkling $219.95 URBANITE’S PICK: Champagne Esterlin Rose Brut Style: Medium-bodied & flavourful Varietal: Sparkling Rose $43.05 Nicolas Feuillatte Brut Champagne Style: Medium-bodied & flavourful Varietal: Champagne $42.95 Perrier Jouet Grand Brut Champagne Style: Medium-bodied & flavourful Varietal: Pinot Noir/ Chardonnay $67.95 Piper Heidsieck Brut Champagne Style: Medium-bodied & flavourful Varietal: Champagne $54.95

Windsor chefs Sushi Guru’s John Alvarez (left) and Tiki Sushi’s Ted Dimoglou will appear on Food Network’s Chopped

» Photos Syx Langemann

»FOOD

Local chefs cook up competition

A couple of Windsorites make national appearances on the small screen Clara Musca Two sushi chefs were recently scooped up for the taping of season two of Chopped: Canada on Food Network.

The show, hosted by Dean McDermott, features four chefs per episode as they cook it out on the chopping block to compete for the grand prize of $10,000.

Sushi Guru’s John Alvarez and Tiki Sushi’s Ted Dimoglou went to Toronto for the taping. The competition generally has three rounds: appetizer, entrée and dessert, in which each contestant is presented with a basket containing four ingredients they must incorporate into their meal.

“It was a great experience but something that was also really intense,” said Alvarez.

“They give you time limits and you really have to be able to work under pressure.”

Initially, Alvarez wasn’t even aware that his wife entered him on the show. “It reached a point where she couldn’t answer a few questions and then I realized what was going on.”

“That’s the whole reason I tried to get on the show, because the whole country always has bad things to say about Windsor. Sometimes they even forget that we’re here.”

Alvarez said he was really surprised when they selected him in less than a week after a quick phone interview.

Dimoglou said his mother and grandmother had a giant influence on his career.

“I’ve been working in a kitchen since I was 14; I can’t really imagine doing anything else,” said Alvarez, who has showcased his skills in multiple cities. Hailing from Baltimore, he’s worked under Wolfgang Puck while living in Las Vegas, but still feels Windsor is home.

Dimoglou was also excited to be representing Windsor to a national audience.

4 the urbanite Dec.17 2014-JAN.6 2015

“I come from a big family where everyone cooked meals from scratch,” remarked Dimoglou. He remembers grocery shopping with his mother and always asking her to buy live trout for him, which she would, on one condition.

“She would get the fish live and make me take it home, kill it, clean it and prepare it from scratch.”

Both chefs believe this experience has taught them a lot.

“There was a lot of stress — it probably took a few years off my life,” joked Dimoglou. “But I would do it all over again.”

Alavarez added. “It was much more fascinating than I thought it would be, but also one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Since opening Sushi Guru in May, we have received a great response so I’m happy to be a part of that.”

Catch the second season of Chopped: Canada beginning Jan. 10, 2015. Alavarez’ episode airs Feb. 14, while Dimolgou competes Feb. 28.

»asK a Brewer

What is an adjunct?

Eco-friendly living with style

Paul Brady, head brewer, Walkerville Brewery

FB.com/ShopEcoCanada www.shopeco.ca

What is an adjunct?

personally don’t think corn syrup or rice are good adjuncts, [make] very good beers, but some breweries can get away with it. ... I like natural adjuncts as odd as that sounds.

An adjunct is essentially an additive that is put into beer that is not part of the four ingredients that make up the German purity law. The four ingredients are water, malted barley, hops and yeast. Anything else you add to the beer is technically considered an adjunct.

Not to be combined with any other offer.

Limit one coupon per customer.

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I, being raised in the craft beer market, have a much more lenient definition of beer.

There are many different things guys will use adjuncts for. The most common I would imagine are flavouring adjuncts, as in a coffee porter perhaps or lets say a cherry chocolate stout. But one of the major reasons adjuncts are used is for the breweries to get cheaper forms of sugar into their beer to make alcohol. Malted barley, which is a very essential ingredient, is more expensive than say rice. If you can take the rice and use the starch to convert to sugar at a much cheaper rate you can make a much more profitable product.

A lot of large breweries use, rice, corn or anything else they can get a hold of.

Are adjuncts a gimmick or a legitimate ingredient?

If you’re making a product your ingredients vary from what you can afford to use. The idea is to make money in this business. I don’t think anybody went into business to say, “I’m going to lose money at this game.” So I would say, “It is what it is.”

Are there any regions that traditionally used adjuncts?

When did adjuncts come into use?

Forever, adjuncts have always been around with people adding different things to beer.

In the modern area, when brewing became more of an industrial process in the 1700 or early 1800s, brewers were looking to make more beer cheaper. Sometimes a bad harvest would force a brewer to have to use something else too.

Depends on what you’re trying to do. I

378 Devonshire Rd., Windsor, ON

Due to Bavarian purity laws are adjunct beers really beers?

Why would a brewer use them?

Are there good adjuncts and bad adjuncts?

519.256.0220

MON-SAT: 10am-7pm SUN: 11am-4pm

Stouts for the last couple hundred years have been using fish bladders as a natural clarifying agent. It doesn’t end up in the finished product but it helps to clarify the beer. It’s a very common practice from the UK and Ireland. It’s migrated into all the other industries as well. It’s called isinglass.

What are the best and worst adjunct beers you’ve had?

[The worst] cheap pilsners are in my personal opinion — I don’t care for them — mass marketed cheaper pilsners. The best adjuncts would be very fancy Belgian fruit beers, they do such amazing things for beer.

»Beer

holidale

Walkerville unleash their 2014 X-mas special brew

Not many people who would approve of drinking in the morning, but Walkerville Brewery’s new creation will have you ditching the coffee drip.

The brewery released its seasonal beer last week, Coffee Porter, which is now available at its taproom by the glass and for purchase. A joint venture with nextdoor neighbour Salute Espresso Bar, the beer is a dark and rich porter that shines with the taste of coffee.

The adjunct is the yellow bourbon bean, a direct trade import from Laranjal Farm in Mogiana.

Other beans Salute has roasted have been rated a

93 by the online website Coffee Review.

Don’t expect Coffee Porter to give you that getup-and-go like a coffee will though, there’s more alcohol in the glass than caffeine at 7% ABV. The beer is akin Mill Street Coffee Porter, but Walkerville’s taste of chocolate is slightly stronger.

Local artist Bob Voyvodic designed the label, which features scenes of post-prohibition celebrations. The limited edition beer is available in branded 500ml bottles and 150 special 2L growlers.

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»FOOD

Living in an uptown world Windsor family diner celebrates 30 years

» Photos Syx Langemann

Emily Adams A long­standing local restaurant is celebrating 30 years of success.

Sam Safas, her husband and their children run Uptown Restaurant at 521 Tecumseh Rd. E. Customers entering the popular breakfast and lunch eatery are treated to the smell of home­cooked food and the sight of photocovered walls that scale to a ceiling dripping with kitsch paraphernalia. Nostalgia sets in as the customer is transported to a place reminiscent of home — a place filled with love and character. Although it appears to come naturally to them, the Safas’ were not always inclined to run their own restaurant.

Prior to owning the business, Safas was a

legal secretary and reluctant to leave her position to gamble on the success of a new restaurant. It wasn’t until the doors were about to open that she made the sweeping declaration, “If we are going to make a go of this, I’ve got to be in it!”

Safas left the legal profession to began her new life at the Greenhouse Cafe, down the street from where Uptown is today. It was another 11 years before Safas and her family would move to their current location, where they would spend the next 19 years turning business around for the already established Uptown Restaurant.

“Business has been good. We were busy from day one and 30 years later here we are,”

6 the urbanite Dec.17 2014-JAN.6 2015

said Safas. “I really appreciate our customers and all their loyalty … if it wasn’t for them we’d be nothing.”

Their customers share similar feelings as three decades later many of them still frequent the establishment, some as often as five days a week.

Along with good business generally comes accolades, of which Uptown has received a Biz X Magazine award and is rated number 3 of 642 businesses on Tripadvisor for the Windsor area.

Safas said the key to running a successful long-­term business is providing the right service, quality of the food and fair prices.­

“It’s a package deal,” she said.

To celebrate their success the family erected a very large inflatable gorilla in front of the restaurant last week. The Safas’ have exciting plans in the future to treat themselves to a long-­awaited vacation. After several years of vacationing separately to ensure one of them could take care of the restaurant, the couple will spend two weeks in Florida together this coming new year.

As for the future of Uptown, Safas hopes her children will take over the family business so she and her husband can retire. Safas said this is her dream because “when you put your heart and soul into it … you don’t want to see it close.”

Two metro bars join in D-Town’s gentrification natasha marar A playground for adults and 130 varieties of beer await you a mere eight kilometres from downtown Windsor. HopCat Detroit and Punch Bowl Social recently opened their doors across the border, offering creative eats, drinks and a reason to mingle this season.

Though both establishments are small chains, the decor is unique and the food and drinks focus on local flavours by using Michigan suppliers. Next weekend, take a trip Stateside to these Urbanite-approved establishments.

Punch Bowl Social 331 Broadway St., Detroit punchbowlsocial.com/detroit

Punch Bowl Social opened its doors last week in downtown Detroit. The huge, 24,000 square foot entertainment complex is essentially Disneyland for adults.

The modern, industrial space mixes Victorian elements — vintage inspired furnishings, Edison lightbulbs, reclaimed wood, exposed brick — in four distinct bars over two floors. Skip the conventional dinner and a movie for a number of activities at Punch Bowl Social: bowling, foosball, skee ball, arcade games, private karaoke rooms (to spare the whole bar your singing), ping pong and shuffleboard.

It’s not all games at Punch Bowl Social. The complex features classic diner food turned on its head. Dishes such as chicken and waffles and cauliflower nachos are served up with craft cocktails and Michigan brews.

Same Thing We Do Every Night Pinky is a great cocktail featuring Soft Parade rye fruit ale from Short’s Brewing Company mixed with McClary Brothers Apple Pie Shrub. As its name implies, be sure to try one of their signature punches available in single servings or bowls for groups of four or eight.

The Denver-based company opened in November 2012. Other locations include Austin and Portland, with a fifth slated to open in Cleveland next year.

As if midtown wasn’t already saturated with enough cool places, welcome HopCat Detroit. The two-floor restaurant-bar is heaven for craft beer drinkers and anyone looking to refuel after a day at the DIA. HopCat — which operates five smaller locations in Michigan — opened last Thursday and has had people lined up around the block for hours at a time.

Opening weekend featured a world record 120-tap takeover by Bellaire, Mich.’s Shorts Brewing Company, which included a number of one-off varieties (the Anniversary Ale ‘06, a 11.6% ABV bourbon barrel aged triple IPA, was rather intense).

The crowd at HopCat is decidedly energetic and young.

“I arrived here around 9:30 a.m. ... and finally got in around noon,” said Paul Schmidt, 30, who drove 25 minutes from Trenton, Mich. “I’ve been to all of them (HopCat locations). The variety of beers alone … it’s a great place.”

Soon the establishment will carry 130 Michigan craft beers on tap — the largest amount in the state. The majority of taps are on the main floor, but the second floor (called The Huma Room) features its own impressive bar where a 1968 Fleetwood Brougham Cadillac hangs among eclectic decor and a live music stage.

Not to be forgotten, HopCat serves up elevated, casual food. Their delicious signature Crack Fries are tossed in peppery, sweet spices. The large menu includes burgers, wraps, desserts, “big plates” for sharing, salads, and more.

Jay Verspeelt

Detroit raises the bars

HopCat Detroit

4265 Woodward Ave., Detroit hopcat.com/detroit

» Photos

»FOOD & drink

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»feature

Deep in the Fireweed

A day with modern Detroit pioneers in a squatter community JAY VERSPEELT

A man with Detroit Hustles Harder on his shirt exits the No. 53 bus in Detroit.

I’m in downtown about to board a bus toward 7 Mile. It’s the kind of slogan easily discarded as self righteous propaganda, but over the next 24 hours it would be a slogan worth its weight in gold.

The destination is Fireweed Universe City, a collective community just off Woodward Avenue a few blocks outside Highland Park.

The residents of the three-block community — which has garnered little media attention — have been dubbed hippies, pioneers, and other romantic monikers. Fireweed really is a squatters community, or at least that’s how it started.

In 2011, as Occupy Detroit petered out, a group of the protesters found themselves without residence and made their way on to Goldengate Street, a semi-occupied residential street. Hilldale, a standard residential street on one side of Goldengate is flanked by Robinwood, with 60 out of 66 homes vacant at the time. One more street over is Hollywood; it’s the polar opposite of what one would expect of a street named after glamourous city. Instead it is the most unnerving place I’ve ever set foot. I’m told this is where crack and heroin dealers live.

My contact, Charlie Beaver, is a 52-year-old

former construction worker who has lived in Fireweed for near three years.

“It was a little rough in the beginning because one of the guys ended up being a thug robber and had one prostitute working here and was selling crack,” said Beaver. “He robbed one of the couch surfers at gunpoint.

There’s been a lot of troublemakers and I almost left because it was just too chaotic. …

The bad people kinda just started disappearing and good people were showing up.”

Those people are made up of a core of about eight, four of whom I meet. The rest are passersby, welcome to stay as long in one of the homes as they need. It’s hard to say who’s a member at any given time.

The aesthetic of the community is a largely utilitarian one and in some ways minimalist.

Most houses lack electricity and are heated by old oil drums that have been converted into wood ovens. Two homes are powered by solar panels. The group hopes to install more in the future.

“Most people only need it to charge their cell phone or have a light on in their room or a radio. A few solar panels could handle that if you had enough batteries,” said Beaver.

During my stay I see only one television, an old projection. This house is also a communal charging station for cell phones, as was a cafe on the corner of Woodward.

8 the urbanite Dec.17 2014-JAN.6 2015

Since houses don’t have plumbing, buckets have been placed under sinks so dishes may be washed before draining out into a more movable receptacle.

There are no bathrooms, not in any of the houses I visit. There are outhouses in the backyards.

Other more damaged homes in the area are salvaged to restore the ones in which they live. Some cases restoration is a little more ingenious. A residence dubbed The Bottle House takes its name from old empty bottles stacked in window holes and sealed with cobb mud. The interior effect is akin to leaded glass.

An eerie calmness hangs over Goldengate.

The sound of wind chimes sway in the breeze. Beaver tells me about the first night he stayed in his house.

“It was the hottest muggiest night of the year and I had moved into my house as a squat.

It was so hot, I didn’t have any power and I had to pour water onto a t-shirt to pad myself off. I laid there pretty much all night long in the bed with no music or nothing. It was very cool because there’s not a single car that came down the street that night and it was just crickets and sounded like being in the country right here in the midst of all this chaos.”

Make no mistake, the area is not the rolling hill countryside. But in some small way the group is turning the area into a farming community, which is the most important thing for them. I tour through gardens that are still producing small amounts of food in December. Residence said the original garden, which still in use, can produce enough food for 20 people everyday when in bloom.

The group hopes to eventually produce enough to survive off year round through making preserves.

“We’re probably a little too lax with getting that shit done. I think next year it will get a little better,” said Beaver.

Beaver lead me up and down the streets, taking me through the squat houses until we reached 159, a house named after its address. Beaver pulls a bottle of grapefruit juice from a communal food box in what used to be a kitchen and we go upstairs.

There we met Shane (in many cases, residents declined to provide last names or preferred to be addressed by pseudonyms).

Shane worked in IT for a company in D.C. that outsourced its jobs to the Philippines.

After traveling and “tinkering” with the idea of becoming a bartender he had found his way to Fireweed through friends about two and a half years ago. He’s occupied the same room in the house ever since. He is tall, lanky and well-spoken.

» Photos Jay Verspeelt

I am offered tea and food, some of which had been grown and some plied from the dumpster of the neighbouring Whole Foods. These were bar-none the most hospitable people with whom I have come into contact. For as little as they have, they share everything.

I witness almost no consumption of alcohol during my stay other than three men passing a beer can in a circle. With the exception of copious amounts of marijuana, there

three blocks south to Savannah Street where Shane cuts and collects firewood.

“Some people do refer to us as a communist system or refer to it as a commune. What would differ is that there’s no power of anyone here to say that no one has the right to be here. There’s no power structure, there’s no police force or way of imposing your will on anyone necessarily,” said Shane.

Fireweed residents, however, are now in

“ We

resist ownership. We believe the effort we put into these homes gives us the right to stay in these homes...

-shane, fireweed UNIVERSE CITY RESIDENT was no drug use.

I chat with couch surfers from Colorado and New Orleans in a kitchen with a propane powered camper stove. Shane brings us all tea.

“We’re interested in living for free as best as possible. We resist ownership. We believe the effort we put into these homes gives us the right to stay in these homes due to the fact they were given up on before,” said Shane.

Shane said moving out of the corporate world and not having to work a nine-to-five job — although some in the community do — has freed his time to follow more meaningful pursuits such as farming, woodworking and living sustainably. I witness this firsthand the following day, tagging along

a situation where they need to become legally organized. In September, Michigan’s squatters rights laws changed drastically.

Whereas at one time an eviction could take months to process, now a landowner can simply call the police and have the squatters arrested. A first offence is a misdemeanour at $5,000 with up to 180 days in jail. Subsequent offences are considered a felony with $10,000, and up to two years in jail. Since October, there’s been 22,000 tax foreclosures on properties.

The group plans on filing for incorporation as a non-profit so it may be able to collect donations and apply for grants.

“I’m not so interested in co-operating with the government but I understand that losing homes would also be detrimental so there has to be some middle way,” said Shane.

While the group sees housing as a human right, a few of the homes are no longer squats. They were legally purchased by the tenants for very small sums of money. The Bottle House, for instance, cost $1,200. But houses are knocked down nearly every day in the area, and houses being razed aren’t the ones that are burned out or have collapsed roofs but are more livable structures.

“The police are very aware we’re not the legitimate owners of these properties and they don’t give a shit. That’s a reference to the wild west. It’s extremely lawless, the police are rarely here,” said Shane.

After discussing the politics of Detroit for a few hours in the dark upstairs room, everyone’s faces are becoming hard to see. The room is lit by a single candle and what little embers are emanating through the stove door. The room is also beastly hot.

We decide to leave for Goldengate Cafe down the road to attend a weekly drum circle. As we approach, a bonfire is burning around a mass of people. Outside there’s hippy types conjugating, inside there’s a gay and ostensibly middle-class crowd. A black girl named Cookie is running around inside; I would be staying with her at The Bottle House that evening.

I wander around the drum circle taking photographs and talking to people who are amused a Canadian would come to their little edge of the universe.

1:30 a.m. creeps up and I’m very tired.

Cookie and I head to her home. The Bottle House is the only house I visit with a lock on the front door, though there doesn’t appear to be anything worth more than sentimental value inside.

By cellphone light, Cookie pulls her blankets off the futon and throws them on the ground.

“Here take the couch,” she said.

Too late to argue or be chivalrous, I oblige her hospitality.

I lie there for hours unable to sleep. I’m uncomfortable and after the stove fire went out I’m cold as well. At one point I wake up to Cookie putting blankets on me.

Cookie, 23, is a mother and works at a Rastafarian shop. She’s visited South Africa to help build homes while she was in high school. She’s lived in Fireweed for two years.

“I was working as a lunch lady, I was going to college and my reasons weren’t the best reasons. I wanted to go for nursing. Why? Because it paid more and I knew I’d be able to help people, but at the same time I didn’t believe in their system, or the world,” she said.

Eventually, Cookie dropped out from school. Art and dance are her passions.

Some of the paintings on the wall behind her is her own.

Cookie doesn’t plan to stay in the community forever, but is here for self exploration.

Whether the question of what the group is doing is ethical is largely beyond the point.

There are clearly some flaws in their system but they are pursuing a lifestyle that, other than burning wood, appears fairly low impact. These people live like most would never be able to, and they love what they have even if it’s little because they have each other.

Dec.17 2014-JAN.6 2015 the urbanite 9

»new year’s eve

NYE 2014 event guide NYE 2015 The City Grill Four-course prix-fixe menu, live entertainment, DJ, party favours, champagne toast 5 p.m. | $75 | 19+ info: 519-915-5948, thecitygrillwindsor.com New Year’s Eve 2015 Polish-Canadian Club Dinner, midnight lunch, The Shake Band 6 p.m. | $60 | 19+ info: 519-351-0151, citz@kent.net New Year’s Eve-ning Lanspeary Park Free skating, fireworks, live music by 50/50, prizes, party favours, countdown at 9 p.m.

6 p.m. | FREE | all ages info: am800cklw.com/events New Year’s Eve Bash Fogolar Furlan Windsor Dinner, midnight buffet, champagne toast, party favours, DJ, 10 drink tickets 6 p.m. | $100 | 19+ info: 519-966-2230, fogolar.com New Year’s Eve Gala Fogolar Furlan Windsor Dinner, midnight buffet, wine and champagne, party favours, cash bar, Big Louie and the Band 6 p.m. | $70 or $140/couple (members), $80 or $160/couple, $50/children 5-12 info: 519-966-2230, fogolar.com Boogie in 2014 with a 70s Beat The Olde Walkerville Theatre Dancing, open bar, party favours, Super 70s live band, hors d’oeuvres at midnight 8 p.m. | $25/ADV, $30/ATG | 19+ info: 519-253-2929, oldewalkervilletheatre. com Countdown to New Year’s Eve Caesars Windsor Video DJ DisGrace/Mustang Sally @ Cosmos, Those Guys @ ELYX, NYE cash giveaway 6 p.m. | FREE | 19+ info: caesarswindsor.com The Countdown Downtown Venue Music Hall Dancing, cash bar, DJ Ken E 8:30 p.m. | FREE | 19+ info: 519-252-5991 New Years Eve Party Comedy Quarry @ Rockhead Pub Dinner, drinks, dancing, comedy show, headliner Jeff Leeson, party favours 7 p.m. | $50 | 19+ info: 519-252-7776, info@comedyquarry. com Phog’s Phree New Year Phog Lounge Dancing, low-key, Vice Aerial 5 p.m. | FREE | 19+ info: phoglounge.com New Year’s Eve Gala Ciociaro Club Dinner, midnight buffet, wine, DJ, Fantasia band, party favours 6 p.m. | $95/person (members), $105/person (general public) | 19+ info: 519-737-6153, ciociaroclub.com New Year’s Eve Celebration Giovanni Caboto Club Dinner, wine, cappuccino/espresso cart,

midnight champagne, party favours, hors d’oeuvres, live bands, featured bands Ciao and New Dimensions, drink tickets included 6 p.m. | $140 (general public), $115 (member) | 19+ info: 519-252-8383, cabotoclub.com New Years Eve Dinner The Willistead Restaurant Set menus, reservations and walk-ins 5:30 p.m. | $25-$35/person info: 519-253-8226, thewillistead.com Pop Your Cherryoke Karaoke Explosion Villains Beastro Karaoke singing, dancing, cash bar, costumes encouraged, serving until 3 a.m.

9 p.m. | FREE | 19+ info: 519-915-5215, facebook.com/villainsbeastro New Year’s Eve 2015 The Dominion House Tavern Dancing, no set menu, all-you-can-eat taco bar, Fresh Breath Duo band Band @ 10 p.m. | FREE | 19+ info: 519-971-7400, thedominionhouse.ca NYE 2015 Level 3 Vodka Emporium Dancing, appetizers, party favours, champagne at midnight, music by Chris James 10 p.m. | $30 | 21+ info: 519-890-1194, level3windsor.com New Years Eve 2015 Masquerave Carnivale Electronic Music Club Dancing, VIP booths, two free drinks, champagne at midnight, party favours, food, dessert, music by Colin Thomas/Bangarang/DJ Shavy 9 p.m. | $30 | 19+ info: 519-796-0911, facebook.com/carnivalemusicclub NYE 2015 29 Park Windsor Dancing, appetizers by Spago’s Trattoria, champagne at midnight, party favours 9 p.m. | $35 | 19+ info: 519-254-1767, 29park.com 2015 Resolution Ball The Fillmore (Detroit) Drink tickets, coat check, hors d’oeuvres, midnight pizza, coney buffet, midnight balloon drop, confetti storm 8 p.m.-5 a.m. | $115 & $135 | 21+ info: 248-543-1000, resolutionballdetroit. com New Years Eve The Bull n’ Barrel 15% off dinner, champagne at midnight, party favours 8 p.m. | $20 | 19+ info: 519-973-4884, bullandbarrel.com New Years Eve Celebration The Loop Entertainment Complex Champagne at midnight, party favours, Dj Domenic 9 p.m. | FREE | 19+ NYE Boogie Magic The Windsor Beer Exchange 9 p.m. | $5 | 19+ Something Magical NYE 2015 The Boom Boom Room VIP booths available 10 p.m. | $5-$1,000 | 19+

10 the urbanite Dec.17 2014-JAN.6 2015

»COMEDY

Windsor Comedy Festival has it in the Bagg Funny man Ian Bagg headlines a jubilee of japes, jests and jokes CLARA MUSCA Getting through the holidays can be stressful, but one local event is designed to put you in a good mood.

Windsor Comedy Festival returns Dec. 27 at the Chrysler Theatre with a new line-up.

Ranked No. 1 by CBC News on things to do between Christmas and New Years, this year’s roster includes well-known Canadian star Ian Bagg, who’s worked with Judd Apatow and appeared on the Late Show with Conan O’Brien and Hockey Night in Canada.

Bagg, who dropped out of school after his first comedic performance, originally wanted to become an engineer, and joked about missing out on “blowing stuff up.”

Becoming a comedian was not his plan at all.

“I did stand up one night, and it was fun but also terrifying. I had a shot called a Fireball before going on stage” said Bagg, whose comedic style often relies on the audience.

“I plan for emergencies but I mostly feed off the audience.”

Growing up the small town of Terrace, BC, the best part of Bagg’s childhood was going

to hockey games in tiny buses and keeping others entertained during the ride.

Among the many things he has done throughout his career Bagg said the most satisfying was working with Gabriel Iglesias, also known as Fluffy.

“I felt like I could connect with the audience more as opposed to just a monologue.”

For Bagg, comedy is not his biggest accomplishment. “My wife and my two dogs are the best part of my life,” he said.

Bagg has been to Detroit, but has not yet visited Windsor.

“I’m a big hockey fan and Windsor has the Spitfires,” said Bagg. “I was thrilled when they asked me to do the show.”

Shawn Talbot, Windsor Comedy Festival organizer, believes this is a quality event that will attract many people and out-of-towners during the holidays.

“We are raising the bar on the headliner and hopefully this event will eventually grow into a multi-day festival,” he said, The show will also feature Ottawa’s Nile Se-

New York comedian Ian Bagg headlines the Windsor Comedy Festival Dec. 27 » Photo courtesy Windsor Comedy Festival guin, who has performed at Montreal’s Just for Laughs, Craig Fay, Andrew Chapman and Windsor-born Rob Mailloux. Hosting this year’s event will be CTV Windsor’s Arms Bumanlag.

“Comedy never goes out of style,” said Talbot. “We want to be the answer to people looking for something to do during the holidays.”

Talbot is hopeful the festvial will receive

positive reviews.

“We designed the event for the city to embrace and for local businesses to participate and they are showing appreciation for our return.”

According to Talbot, ticket sales have already exceeded last year’s numbers.

For more information, visit windsorcomedyfestival.com.

»FOOD & DRINK

The craft coffee movement

Roasters are hot on the heels of brewers with craft brews of the caffeinated variety jay verspeelt Craft is the name of the game in the culinary world. From farm-to-fork food and craft beer, the culture has extended to coffee.

Jordan Harlow moved to Windsor three years ago from Guelph after working as a cabinet maker. He’s entered the local market as an independent coffee roaster.

“I took a physical job, but I never lost that love of coffee. There was a time when I would only drink Starbucks, there was a time I would only drink Second Cup and there was a time I would only drink at little coffee shops. Then I thought this branding is what people love,” said Harlow. “So I’m going to come up with a brand and back that up with coffee I’ve come to know and love.”

Harlow’s brand, I Luv Coffee, is a distribution company offering coffee sourced from around the world.

“Most people won’t understand (coffee) when they taste it. They’ll either say it’s weak, there’s no such thing as weak coffee.

Or they’ll say it’s strong. There’s no strong coffee,” said Harlow.

He says what people describe weak is high in acidity, having fruit notes. Strong coffee has more earthy flavours to it.

Armed with understanding and having trotted from plantation to plantation, Harlow’s working with the local farmers in countries such as Columbia, Ethiopia, Kenya, Costa Rica and Papua New Guinea. He says the coffee beans are fair trade; not certified but just as good.

“We’ve taken it a step further and we’re dealing with the farmers themselves. Fair trade, are we registered? No. Will I keep doing this? Yes, because I’m actually helping a

farmer,” said Harlow.

I Luv Coffee products can be found locally at Smoke & Spice Southern Barbeque, Mamo Burger, Mrs. Jones Marketplace and Mango Rock Cafe in Kingsville. Coffee will also be sold at the Walkerville Night Market next year as well as Saint Jacobs Market in Kitchener, Ont. Harlow is also offering branded, custom blends to coffee shops.

Harlow isn’t the only new game for coffee in town. Brewin’ Bros Beverage Co., which is slated to open by Christmas, is headed up by husband and wife team Marius and Denisa Petean.

Located at 3873 Walker Rd., Brewin’ Bros will be serving imported coffee and tea, bubble tea, European pastries, paninis and more.

“Some people said, ‘you’re going to compete with (nearby) Timmies and Starbucks.’ But the concept of what we want to do, how it will look inside and the service we give plus the actual beverages themselves are totally different. It’s more personal,” said Marius Petean.

The couple hopes to slow down the fast pace culture of the South Windsor area and appeal to a younger adult crowd. Petean said the business is inspired by cafes they’ve visited in Toronto and throughout Europe.

“We really drink a lot of coffee in our culture. We’re from Romania, so [Brewin’ Bros has] more of a Latin type of feel. If you go there, everything is sit down and talk compared to the in and out feel here (in Windsor). It’s a different concept.”

Dec.17 2014-JAN.6 2015 the urbanite 11

»alBUM revIews

✩✩✩✩

of 5

ZARASUTRA UNCERTAIN ASSERTIONS S/R

Zarasutra — the moniker used by local singer/songwriter Zara Dureno — has released a painfully beautiful road map of emotions. Produced by enigmatic local musician Johnny West, it’s nine songs that really pull on the heart strings highlighted by a solid combination of Dureno’s fragile yet powerful voice and her simple yet effective songwriting.

West — whose own solo work and touches on the Tire Swing Co. album are often blanketed by complex musical layers of instrumentation — chose well in letting Dureno’s voice stand first and foremost as this is clearly her most powerful tool.

Fans of Cat Power, Eddie Brickell and Elliott Smith will immediately be sucked in to the beautiful melancholy of Dureno’s voice. Her control and inflection is impeccable and it’s a testament how painfully good she is at making such a strong voice also hit with such a frailty and fragility.

In this day and age where people are looking for big hits and summer anthems, you won’t find either on this album. Instead you’ll find one of the most heartbreakingly honest musical diaries released in Windsor in ages, stripped down and bare, just like the human soul at its weakest.

Watch out for Zarasutra She’s still incredibly young but the maturity of her performance only hints at what’s to come.

— JAMIE GREER

✩✩✩✩

of 5

BLUE RODEO A MERRIE CHRISTMAS TO YOU WARNER

Tis’ the season where for as long as recorded music has existed, record companies take their hottest properties and churn out another collection of the same old holiday jingles to make a quick buck on the fatted calves names.

Thankfully, there are artists like Blue Rodeo, who put to some legitimate thought into their track listing and release a Christmas album that has the potential to become a music lovers staple for Christmas seasons to come. Yes, there are a few of the staples (“Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas,” “O Come All Ye Faithful”), but somehow the warmth of Cuddy and Keelor’s voices make them feel like old friends rather than the over-lipsticked aunts you only see once a year.

The real treasures on this collection are the non-traditional selections. There’s a yuletide tribute to past Canadiana as they delve into covers of Joni Mitchell’s “River,” Gordon Lightfoot’s “Song for a Winter’s Night” and, fittingly, The Band’s “Christmas Must Be Tonight.”

There’s also versions of “If We Make It Through December” by Merle Haggard, “Getting Ready for Christmas Day” by Paul Simon and even a tune from 70s underground rock heroes Big Star, “Jesus Christ.” Throw in a couple of original compositions — Jim Cuddy penned “Home to You This Christmas” and a re-telling of the Greg Keelor tune “Glad to Be Alive,” and you’ve got more than your usual holiday drive-thru offering.

With a few days left for shopping, this is one Christmas album that would put more than a little shuffle in your stockinged feet on Christmas morning.

— JAMIE GREER

Crissi COChraNe

COWBOys iN CarDiGaNs

the Windsor scene

Blue sTONes

w/Jamie Greer

»lOCal MUsIC

all-star Christmas party in a bike shop

Cowboys in Cardigans drop new EP and Blue Stones’ crowd funded album get underway Another year has come to an end, bringing another solid run of locally produced music, with great albums by local artists and the emergence of new bands to carry on the legacy of Windsor-Essex music. 2015 looks to be another great year with new albums on the horizon from such scene heavyweights as The Locusts Have No King, The Blue Stones, Years of Ernest, the unquiet dead, Poughboy, Days Fade and The Vaudevillianaires, not to mention the bands that haven’t even surfaced yet. Keep supporting local music, as it’s the homegrown support here in Windsor that has helped such local acts as The Walkervilles, Gypsy Chief Goliath, the unquiet dead, The Blue Stones and many more achieve great success elsewhere across the country.

There’s lots of HUGE holiday showcases happening over the holiday season, for all the Windsorites to enjoy, whether you’re just visiting back home for the holidays or you’re still a resident of our fair Rose City.

Here’s a quick look at some of the must-see shows of the next few weeks: Metal giants Beastmode make their long awaited comeback with a huge line-up at the Dominion House (3140 Sandwich St. W.) on Friday, Dec. 19. They’re joined by hardcore legends Days Fade, along with Falsifier (London), Revoltor, Good Things and Jonathan Paul for an all ages blowout, with doors at 6:30 p.m. Advance tickets are available now for $5 (or $10 at the door).

Mere months after the release of their full length debut, Cockatoo, alt. rock banditos Cowboys in Cardigans are releasing a brand new EP of material, Platypus, at Venue Music Hall (255 Ouellette Ave.) on

Friday, Dec. 19. In what promises to be a monster of a night for rock and roll fans, they’re joined by local indie rockers ClassX, with acoustic revolution folk duo Rustbelt Revelators (featuring local veteran Dusty D’Annunzio and MicLordz guitarist Matt Lalonde) opening the show, fresh off their latest gig, opening for the Steve Miller Band at the WFCU Centre. Tickets are $10 and are available now.

hosting an acoustic showcase on Saturday, Dec. 20. It’s a pay what you can event, so swing by and check out the acoustic stylings of young up-and-comers Dean George (EVL, Laughing Casket), Patrick Clark, Bryan Calvert & Jordan Drew and Piere Le Chef (EVL, Hypsteria) kicking off at 9 p.m.

Supermansion, the monster rock super collective of local musicians lead by Dave Houle, returns for a rare performance with a huge holiday spectacle at Villains Beastro City Cyclery (553 Lincoln Rd.) is hosting on Saturday, Dec. 20. Fresh off the 2014 a cool little Christmas fundraiser to help release of the amazing stoner rock prog epic raise money for the Downtown Mission this holiday season, with the It’s So Christ- Brujeria!, Supermansion — whose albums feature a veritable who’s who of the local mas Social on Friday, Dec. 19. It’s a warm and cozy event featuring some of the area’s heavy scene — have solidified a reduced lineup for live performances with sonically finest singer/songwriters congregating to help out the less fortunate here in Windsor. bombastic results. Opening the show is Crissi Cochrane headlines an all-star roster electronic guitar duo Learning, also making that also features Tara Watts (The Locusts a return to the scene after a lengthy layoff.

Have No King), Leighton Bain, Eric Welton (Diane Motel), Dave Dubois (The Locusts The Windsor Beer Exchange (493 UniverHave No King), Chelsey Danfield and Bob- sity Ave. W.) welcomes Detroit hardcore

by Sproat. There’s also DJ sets from Groove band Dead Church to this side of the river Saturday, Dec. 20 for another fantastic Right, Electric Treasure and Soul Brother Stefan (The Walkervilles). Tickets are $25, lineup of some of the city’s finest noise acts which includes one beverage and late night at their peak. Dead Church are comfortably supported by Uncle Ray, Worry, Minors and snacks, with all proceeds going directly to the Downtown Mission. Contact Carly Revoltor. An all ages showcase, the show is Nicodemo at 416-319-7096 or at carly.nico- pay what you can, with doors at 8 p.m. demo@gmail.com for advance tickets.

Great news for fans of The Blue Stones. This summer they started an online campaign Windsor’s swampy voodoo blues master South River Slim is pulling double duty on to raise money for production on their new album due out next year. They just anFriday, Dec.19, starting off with a dinner music set at Rino’s Kitchen (131 Elliott St. nounced they hit their target so we can exW.) at 7 p.m. before heading for a full show pect another great collection of music from at Villains Beastro (256 Pellisier St.) later in this powerful duo sooner than later. They’re celebrating with what’s sure to be a sweaty the evening. intimate rock and roll party at Phog Lounge Milk Coffee Bar (68 University Ave. W.) is (157 University Ave. W.) on Boxing Day,

Friday, Dec. 26. Local indie rock favourites Takers & Leavers open the show.

The Windsor Beer Exchange is throwing its own Boxing Day party with the return of local punk rock favourites Shared Arms. It’s been a while since we’ve seen Shared Arms and this should be a great one. They’re joined by No Hands plus the return of Toque.

The original faces of Windsor’s punk rock scene from the 1970s reunite for Old Punks 6 at The Dominion House Saturday, Dec. 27. Guitar Army, lead by Spy’s guitarist/ founder Dale “Elad” D’Amore, will be hosting a throwback event with members of the Spy’s (vocalist Frank Carlone) and the Dry Heaves (vocalist Hevie Kevie and guitarist Tommy Vomit). They’ll play rock classics from Windsor’s original punk movement, as well as inspirational covers from the MC5, Iggy & The Stooges, The Clash and more.

Middle Sister returns to the Windsor stage with a show at Phog Lounge Saturday, Dec. 27, welcoming back member Kaitlyn Kelly (who has been attending dramatic arts school in NYC) and introducing their newest member, Dave Dubois (best known for fronting The Locusts Have No King and playing in Tara Watts band). This folk outfit has been wowing the scene for the better part of a year, and with a new album in the can for 2015 it’ll be a great chance to see (and hear) what they’ve been working on. They’re joined by a newer project, Safe Word, whose melodic dream pop have been winning over legions of fans in the past few months.

DeC.17 2014-JaN.6 2015 the urbanite 13

»savage love w/Dan Savage

Gender solid

Q:

You may not be the right person to answer this, but your commenters might be able to help. I love and support my friends who are transgender, but I don’t understand all the 18- to 21-year-olds among my friends who are declaring themselves “gender-neutral.”

I am a bit older and have always been interested in queer culture and history. But it feels like they have forgotten, or never knew, that butch lesbians who wear strap-ons are still women, or that it is very common for straight men to wear lacy underwear. They don’t seem to know that they can be gender nonconforming without having to discard gender. Because they’re so young and all of them have decided this at the same time, it seems to be some kind of trend. Some may be on their way to coming out as trans, which is fair enough, but I strongly suspect some of them will be completely conventional in a couple of years. It would be rude and dismissive of me to tell them that it’s just a phase, so I would never do that, but I don’t really understand the point of being genderneutral. What has changed in the last few years that this is suddenly a thing?

Longtime Reader

Q:

I recently “friended” someone online whose bio mentions that their preferred pronoun is “their.” They are not a transgender person. I’ve been told that they are “genderfluid,” but it is commonly understood in our friend group that they are female. Questions: (1) If you’re genderfluid, are you suddenly not male or female? Does anyone really need to say that they’re What has changed in the last few genderfluid? Aren’t we all a bit years? There’s more discussion fluid where gender is concerned? about gender now, LR, and that’s (2) Does someone who is cisgender a good thing. Culturally enforced take away from the “trans experigender norms are ridiculous, and ence” by taking on pronouns like the policing of gender expression/ “they/their” or “ze/zir,” or are they identity is oppressive and often being helpful by normalizing these violent. This critical and necespronouns? (3) Am I a jerk for asksary discussion about gender has ing these questions? I want to be sensitive to gender issues, but I’m sparked a great deal of interest in—and, in some quarters, gener- worried that I can’t keep up. ated a lot of sympathy for—people Observant One Prefers She who aren’t just talking about 1. A genderfluid person gender but struggling with it, is someone “whose doing something about it, and gender identity shifts,” redefining it. But “interest in” and “sympathy for” have a way of says the Washington Post. Wikiattracting poseurs and attention- pedia defines genderfluidity like this: “Moving between genders or seekers. That’s nothing new. Pay with a fluctuating gender identity.” sympathetic attention to a plate of tater tots long enough, and it’ll An actual genderfluid person— Astrophy—put it this way in a attract poseurs and attentionpost at Jezebel: “I am genderfluid, seekers, too. though I was assigned female at birth… What does this mean?

But since it’s (almost always) Ah, gender identiFor me, it means that sometimes impossible to tell the attentionties—you need an Excel seeking poseurs from the actual I am a woman, sometimes I spreadsheet to keep am a man, and sometimes I am items, LR, your best course of track these days. androgynous. I do not mean that action when someone declares Some folks are gender-neutral, themselves to be gender-neutral— sometimes I feel manly; in every some are bigender, some are internal sense, I am a man in or bigender or pangender or agender. Then there’s pangenthose moments.” etceteragender—is to smile, nod, der, genderless, genderfluid, inquire about pronoun preferand genderqueer. There’s also ences, make a mental note not to So someone who is genderfluid gender-nonconforming, genderuse pronouns around that person isn’t a mélange of stereotypically questioning, gender-variant, as (easier than committing multiple male and female traits, OOPS, but well as genderfuck, trigender, sets to memory), and then change someone who is man sometimes and intergender. (Who gets a the genderfucking subject. and a woman at other times. hyphen and who doesn’t? Who the fuck-knows?) Add in every genderblueplatespecial’s very own set of random and unpredictable and ever-shifting pronoun preferences, and you’ve got a blizzard of special snowflakes, each one primed to take offense at some real or imagined microaggression so they can dash to Tumblr for some macro-venting.

A:

14 the urbanite Dec.17 2014-JAN.6 2015

A:

happen that way,” you said. But I’m proof that they do. I am a female in my mid-20s, and I’ve been openly bi since I was 12. I’m not particularly fond of threesomes, but I go with the flow. I’ve already 3. There’s being sensitive to genhad three happen naturally, and one “almost” that I stopped due to der issues, and then there’s being so sensitive to gender issues that “timing issues.” (Three MFF and you’re practically allergic. But rest one FFF.) My advice: If you can get assured: You are not a jerk, OOPS, a three-way massage or a game of as there are so many freshly mint- strip-anything going, you’re in for ed gender identities and pronouns the gold. Alcohol really helps, too. sloshing around out there that no Girl Gone There one can keep up.

Perhaps I should’ve said that threesomes Asexuality is a real thing, PAUSE, rarely happen natuand your daughter could be rally, GGT, while emphasizing an intelligent and phenomenal that individual results may vary. example. That said… for some, But a relationship is far likelier asexuality has functioned as an to survive an “unnatural” threeopt-out-of-this-sex-stuff-untilsome—one that has been planned later thing. But just as some gay men identifying as bisexual before in advance—than it is to survive a spontaneous threesome. Unsexy coming out as gay doesn’t mean negotiations about limits and bisexuality is a phase (or nonexboundaries, hashing out what is istent), the fact that some people and is not okay, and discussions identify as asexual before ultiabout STIs and birth control are mately coming out as—here we nearly impossible to have as your go—heterosexual, homosexual, clothes are coming off. So threebisexual, pansexual, graysexual, somes that people drink, massage, demisexual, autosexual, antior strip-poker their way into are sexual, hyposexual, etc., etc., etc. likelier to result in the kind of isn’t proof that asexuality isn’t a hurt feelings that lead to breakups real thing. and make all threesomes, spontaKeep listening to your daughter, neous or planned, look dangerous PAUSE, and learn more about and risky. asexuality at the Asexuality Visibility and Education Network (asexuality.org).

2. Helpful, I suppose, but nevertheless exhausting, potentially attention-whoring, and doubtless contributing to the extinction of pronouns altogether.

A:

Q:

I love your column, Dan, but I wanted to clear something up. Recently someone wrote to you that they—or their spouse—wanted to have a threesome, but only if it happened “naturally.” You said that was impossible: “Three-ways don’t

On the Lovecast, the science is in on teen sexting: listen at savagelovecast.com.

» BY DAN SAVAGE » MAIL@SAVAGELOVE.NET » @FAKEDANSAVAGE

event listings

FIND AND SUBMIT EVENTS AT Ugly Christmas Sweater ConURBANITENEWS.COM/EVENTS test The Bull n’ Barrel | 10 p.m.-1 a.m.

COMING UP

THURSDAY, DEC. 18 Shopping Day MOCAD (Detroit) | 11 a.m.-9 p.m.

3RD THURSDAY: Psychological Services MOCAD (Detroit) | 6 p.m.-9 p.m.

Chevelle w/ Crobot & Lesser Key The Fillmore (Detroit) | 6:30 p.m. | $20-$45 Hansel und Gretel Kordazone Theatre | 7 p.m. | PWYC

FRIDAY, DEC. 26

DJ DOUBLE A Phog Lounge | 10 p.m.

The Roncy Boys Villains Beastro

SATURDAY, DEC. 20 Supermansion Villains Beastro Disney Live! Mickey’s Music Festival WFCU Centre | 12:30 p.m. | $21.75-$44.75 TEEN ART WORKSHOP: Godzilla Movie Making w/ Nick Tolbier MOCAD (Detroit) | 1 p.m.-4:30 p.m.

Disney Live! Mickey’s Music Festival Windsor Spitfires VS Saginaw WFCU Centre | 3:30 p.m. | Spirit WFCU Centre | 7:05 p.m. | $20- $21.75-$44.75 $30 Disney Live! Mickey’s Music Kenneth MacLeod w/ Windsor Festival WFCU Centre | 6:30 p.m. | Salt Band $21.75-$44.75 Phog Lounge | 10 p.m.

The Breast Christmas Ever Level 3 Vodka Emporium | 10 p.m.-2 a.m.

Annual Christmas Celebration The Loop | 8 p.m.-2 a.m.

Insane Clown Posse w/ JCW wrestling & Kottonmouth Kings St. Andrew’s Hall (Detroit) | 7 p.m. | $22

FRIDAY, DEC. 19

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 31

WEEKLY

Windsor Spitfires VS Plymouth MONDAYS Whalers WFCU Centre | 2:05 p.m. | $15- Open Mic Surgery w/ James O-L $30 Phog Lounge | doors 9 p.m.

TUESDAYS

The Blue Stones w/ Takers & Leavers Phog Lounge | 9:30 p.m.

BOP (harvey) w/ Shotgun Soul & Dirk Kroll Band Magic Stick Lounge (Detroit) | 8 p.m. | $25 ADV/$30 ATG

Suicide Machines w/ Mustard Plug & Negative Approach The Majestic Theatre (Detroit) | 6 p.m. | $20-$25

Minnesota w/ Exmag & Dopedelic The Majestic (Detroit) | 9 p.m. | $25

V.O.M.I.T. (Vocal Open Mic Instrumental Talent) Villains Beastro

For full New Year’s Eve A Very Country Christmas: party listings, see p. 10 Paulina Jayne, Matt Austin & Annabelle Road St. Andrew’s Hall (Detroit) | 7:30 THURSDAY, JAN. 1 p.m. | $10 Windsor Express VS Brampton A’s Monica Blaire w/ Collective WFCU Centre | 7 p.m. | $12-$75 Peace, Danni Cassette & DJ Jmo Possessed by Paul James w/ HopCat Detroit | 8 p.m. | $20 Rickett Pass ADV/$25 ATG HopCat Detroit | 8 p.m. | $10 Boxing Day Bash The Bull n’ Barrel | 9 p.m.-2 a.m. FRIDAY, JAN. 2 SATURDAY, DEC. 27 Free Porn Villains Beastro

Nathan Kalish and The Last Callers w/ Jennifer Westwood and The Handsome Devils & Mom Barley HopCat Detroit | 8 p.m. | $5

Derek Harrison w/ Walter Senko TUESDAY, JAN. 6 The Windsor Beer Exchange

Open Stage Night w/ Andrew Macleod and Leigh Wallace Dominion House | 5 p.m.

Free One-on-One Entrepreneurial Coaching WEtech Alliance | 12-1 p.m.

Open Mic w/ Jamie Reaume The Manchester Pub Open Mic w/ Pat Robitaille The Willistead | 8:30 p.m.

1-on-1 Entrepreneurial Coaching WEtech Alliance | 12 p.m.-1 p.m.

WEDNESDAYS P.U.K.E. (People Using Karaoke Equipment) Villains Beastro Vice Aerial Phog Lounge | 10 p.m.

Trivia Night w/ Francois Jacques The Manchester Pub | 7 p.m.

Dave Russell Dominion House Tavern FRIDAYS

The North Avenue Stompers w/ Sky High Fridays Winter Running Series The Hi-Q’s & DJ Savage Matt Windsor Express take on the Level 3 Vodka Emporium | 10 80s Party Windsor Squash & Fitness Club p.m.

Mississauga Power Windsor Squash & Fitness Club HopCat Detroit (Detroit) | 8 p.m. | $10 WFCU Centre | 7 p.m. | $20-$75 | 5:30 p.m. | $0-$75 South River Slim Villains Beastro

Trixx Comedy Quarry | 8 & 10:30 SycAmour w/ Assassins, Boys of p.m. | $15 Fall, Narco Debut & Rumours Leann Rimes The Shelter (Detroit) | 6 p.m. | Caesars Windsor | 9 p.m. | $10 $35.25$70.65 Friday Evening After Work Party w/ South River Slim Rino’s Kitchen & Ale House | 7-10 p.m.

SUNDAY, DEC. 21 Dubtown w/ DJ Zonk Deck & DJ Stephen Pender Phog Lounge | 10 p.m.

Jimkata Magic Stick Lounge (Detroit) | 8 TUESDAY, DEC. 23 p.m. | $10 Root Doctor HopCat Detroit | 8 p.m. | $5 Trixx Comedy Quarry | 9 p.m. | $15 It’s So Christmas Social w/ Crissi Cochrane, Tara Watts, Dave Dubois, Groove Right, Soul Brother Stefan, Electric Treasure, Leighton Bain, Eric Welton, Chelsey Danfield & Bobby Sproat City Cyclery | 9:30 p.m. | $25

The Tenors Caesars Windsor | 8 p.m. | $29.60-$70.65 Brother w/ Sansforme Phog Lounge | 10 p.m.

THURSDAY, DEC. 25 Krampus Party Villains Beastro Kenneth and Ron’s Rent Party Phog Lounge | 10:30 p.m.

Windsor Comedy Festival The Chrysler Theatre | 7:30 p.m. | $25-$40 Led Zeppelin 2 St. Andrew’s Hall (Detroit) | 8 p.m. | $12 Laura Rain & The Caesars HopCat Detroit (Detroit) | 8 p.m. | $5 Middle Sister w/ Safe Word Phog Lounge | 10 p.m.

Loveless Fridays w/ Daniel Victor The Loop | 10 p.m.

After Work Party

Rino’s Kitchen & Ale House | 7 p.m.

SUNDAYS Dusty

Dominion House Tavern

ONGOING

Vape Meet Villains Beastro

Possible Futures: What is to be done?

Art Gallery of Windsor, The Leamington Arts Centre, Leamington; The Vollmer Culture and Recreation Complex, Lasalle; Drouillard Road, Ford City; The Capitol Theatre | until Jan. 11

Grown Ups Read Things They Wrote As Kids: Windsor Phog Lounge | 8 p.m. | $10

Art for the Holidays Detroit Artists Market | until Dec. 30

TUESDAY, DEC. 30

Doin’ the Louvre Holiday FUN(d) raising exhibition Artcite | until Dec. 24

SUNDAY, DEC. 28

RIOT GRRRL Tuesdays Phog Lounge | 8 p.m.

Dec.17 2014-JAN.6 2015 the urbanite 15