OCTOBER 2012 / 01
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Editor’s Note Private, Public, Charter, or Online Schools? Now, more than ever, parents have so many options on where to send their children for school. From preschool to high school, the school hunt can become very difficult and overwhelming because in the end you want to be sure that you picked the best school for your child. So what’s a parent to do with so many options for their little prodigies…? Well, for one, you made the best decision to read this edition of Urban Parenting Magazine. In this issue, you’ll get a chance to gain more insight into the private school scene, building a positive parentteacher relationship, getting your kids involved in activities that bring out the leader in them and so much more. As always, thanks for reading, get inspired and garner insight for Back-to-School. Shine on,
UrbaN Parenting Publisher Wilson Manigat Editor-in-Chief Debbie Manigat Founded by Wilson and Debbie Manigat in 2013 Urban Parenting Magazine Published 11 times a year by Urban Parenting Magazine LLC., in West Palm Beach, FL. Editorial submissions and reader correspondence are welcome. We reserve the right to edit, reject or comment on any material submitted. We are not responsible for the return of unsolicited material. Urban Parenting Magazine is available online and at numerous locations within diverse communities free of charge. Publication and distribution of the magazine does not constitute an endorsement of information, products or services. The publisher reserves the right to reject any advertisement or listing which is not in keeping with the magazine’s standards. Copyright 2013. All rights reserved. Any reproduction in whole or in part is prohibited without written permission. HOW TO CONTACT US Website: www.UrbanParentingMagazine.com Email: info@urbanparentingmagazine.com Office: (954) 560-8326
Debbie Manigat Editor-in-Chief
Correspondence: Urban Parenting Magazine P.O. Box 222911 West Palm Beachm FL 33422
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Public vs. Private School “While there are many good things about public school, the fact is that public school is not for every child and not a good fit to the educational goals of every family.� Read on: pg 08.
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Table of
CONTENTS 18.
Get to know your Child’s Teachers “... great teachers make great public schools. But teachers can’t do it alone. Research is clear: Students perform better in school when their parents are actively involved in their education. “ Read on: pg 18.
Tech & Education
Lifestyle & Activities
Parenting Plus
04. Cyber Bullying
08. Becoming a Snob
14. Mom, I’m back!
06. Back-to-School Shopping
12. How much is too much...
Turn off the computer, get help now. Grab deals before leaving the house
Private School hunt & myth busting Help- my child is sick from too much fun?
It’s a new day: More adult kids returning to live with parents
18. #TeamParent- Teacher
Five tips to building a winning relationship with your child’s teacher
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Tips & Advice Urban Parenting
CYBER-BULLYING...
How to handle a cyber bully that your child may be dealing with
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here have always been bullies, but the Internet has opened a whole new realm on cyberbullying. Cyber-bullies are children who verbally harass other children online. While this is not officially considered an online crime, it can be detrimental to your child’s self esteem. Cyber-bullying can include cursing your child, spreading rumors about them and posing as your child in chat rooms.
ended up taking their own lives because of it. Parents need to talk openly to their children about online protection against cyberbullies. First and foremost, encourage your children to talk with you about any problems they may have with online harassment. Encourage them to confide in you or another trusted adult, such as a teacher, if they are being cyber-bullied.
The Internet often gives users the illusion of anonymity and therefore, many think they write and say whatever they want without much thought. Teach Sometimes a child may your child how to block the know exactly who their email addresses in an attempt harasser is, but some to stop abusive emails. Because cyber-bullies hide behind it is easy to get additional email aliases while threatening addresses, you may need to online children. This block additional addresses might not seem as large obtained by the cyber-bully. a concern as adults Instruct your children to save who send pornography any messages that are mean or online to children, but intimidating. People magazine recently published an article on Remind your child that cyberseveral children who had bullying is just like regular been cyber-bullied and bullying. They are doing it to
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get a reaction out of them. If you can convince your child to ignore the bully’s emails and comments, chances are the bully will get bored and give up. Point out to your child that real online friends won’t believe lies the cyber-bully may be spreading. Finally, if the person bullying your child online goes to his or her school, for your child’s safety, you may need to seek the advice of a teacher or principal. Online activity like this can lead to a diminished self esteem, cause learning problems and prolonged exposure to abuse and demeaning treatment. To learn more or get help, visit: www.StopBullying.gov
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5 Tips to survive Back to School Shopping!
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f you are like millions of other time-starved moms, the thought of back-to-school shopping leaves you feeling stressed and wondering how you can possibly get it all done within your budget and in the limited time you have. Take advantage of these mom-tested, timesaving tips this year and get your children ready for back-to-school in record time - without busting your budget: 1. Start with a plan Create a master back-toschool shopping list and budget for each child. Discuss the list and ask your kids what items or brands they want most. Let them
help make the budget trade-offs. For example, if they want an expensive pair of shoes, they need to spend less on the backpack or clothes. 2. Closet-cleaning Giveaway: Before you start shopping, clean out the closet. Sort through the clothes with each of your children, setting aside items that still fit and giving the rest away to charity. 3. Get the help of a free online personal shopper Take advantage of PersonalShopper.com, and join over half of the moms in America who plan to do their back-to-school
shopping online, according to a national survey by MedeliaMonitor. This free service saves you time and money by sifting through millions of products to find deals and items tailored to your family’s needs and interests. Your children can browse a selection of items from favorite brands, styles and colors and save what they love most to their online wish list. You can then review it together and make your purchases from the comfort of your own home. 4. It’s best one-on-one Schedule a back-to-school shopping date with each child, giving them your undivided attention. They grow up so fast, so invest your time in making lasting memories.
5. Snag sweet deals Sixty-four percent of moms in the survey said that one of the biggest challenges is keeping themselves and their children within the set budget. Share with each child the amount you can afford to spend. Teach them to value your hard-earned money and how to stretch the budget as far as possible by making smart choices. They will soon learn that they can get far more for their money by searching the sales first. Either way, don’t stress! Enjoy the time out with your kids and make the best of this “hectic” time of year!
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Education
Urban Parenting Feature
Becoming a
Snob The Misconceptions of Private Schooling
When you talk to a lot of parents, its amazing how many consider the public school system to be the only option for getting a quality education for their children. It seems that this limited view of education would have fallen by the wayside by now with so many options for getting your kids through school. But that is how effective the government sponsored public schools have been at maintaining the myth that they are the only way to go and that public school is the end all and be all of education for kids like yours and mine. When it comes to private school, there is another myth or misconception that we would do well with dumping. And that is the image of private school being only for the super rich and that they are full of snooty prep school girls and boys who are dropped off by chauffeurs and spend their summers in the south of France. This concept that to move your child to a private school somehow makes you a “snob� is worth discarding so that all of us can have options to consider rather than being trapped into the tyranny of enduring whatever the public school system tell us we must endure.
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This concept that to move your child to a private school
somehow makes you a “snob” is worth discarding... “
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Becoming a Snob Cont.,
All you have to do to overcome this conception you might have that you have to be a snob to take advantage of private schools is take a day and visit a handful of schools in your area. You will find that the variety and diversity of schools is truly amazing. But more importantly, you will see that the kids in private schools are just like your kids, that the cars their moms and dads drive are the same kind you drive and that ordinary people just like you and I take advantage of the higher quality education and the better educational experience that is available for kids in private school. Whether or not you keep your kids in public school or send them to private school should not be a matter of economic status or whether you fit in any particular social circle. While there are many good things about public school, the fact is that public school is not for every child and not a good fit to the educational goals of every family. And if you did take some time to visit several popular private schools in your area, you may find that there are kids of families you know using those facilities and kids who would provide a good peer group for your child if you did move her to a private facility for the next phase of her education. We tend to view private schools as being the enemy of public school but that is also to some extent a myth. In a lot of way private schools are an excellent supplement to provide high quality educational options for certain niche students that the public schools cannot serve as well. Public school is, after all, an institution set up to serve the entire community of school age children. This is a big challenge so the school administration has to put the majority of their resources and energies into managing the education of for that large group of “average” students.
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But many students benefit from the smaller environment and from specialized skills and focus areas that private schools can afford to take care of. This includes children with special needs such as educational or physical challenges. But it also includes children who are high achievers in certain areas such as the sciences, mathematics or the performing arts. Private schools can also provide an isolated environment for families who want an education built around faith based curriculum which is just not possible in a public school setting.
“ All you have to do to overcome this conception you might have that you have to be a snob to take advantage of private schools is take a day and visit a handful of schools in your area. “ So there is no reason to shy away from considering private school along with all of your other educational options for your child. If you do consider private school and then decide to take advantage of the services they offer, you are joining thousands of other families who are benefiting from the diversity of educational options we have at our disposal today. And in doing so, you are in no way becoming a snob. You are just being a good parent by giving your child the best education possible. And nobody would fault you for that noble desire.
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Urban Parenting
Too Much? HOW MUCH IS
Useful advice for planning after school activities.
Should your child go for the football practice 5 days a week? Are 3 days enough? It is common for parents to be a little confused when it comes to deciding how much is too much with reference to after school activities. They argue that since most of the activities are fun (as different from studies), children will simply lap up these classes. But, too many activities can also cause burnout. Here is a simple guide that will help you decide how much is too much for your child. Kindergarten: Your child is just beginning to learn to interact and get used to discipline. His or her afterschool life should be simple and carefree. One or two classes per week are enough at the beginning. Once the child settles down, look for more challenging activities like a music program. Grade 1: One or two activities per week, play dates and playground visits are recommended. Avoid competitive sports activities. The child is still too young to have to worry about winning and losing. After the rigors of a full day at school, he or she needs a healthy outlet for pent up energy. Physical activities and noncompetitive sports are best for this age. Grade 2: Your child is old enough to voice opinions on what activities he or she wants. Sports, skating, swimming or computers - steer them towards things they like.
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Many children begin lessons on a musical instrument around this age. But, allow your child some ‘alone time’ during which he can unwind and just do whatever he wishes. Grade 3: Socialization begins to take center stage. Team sports are a good choice. Developing motor skills, painting, drawing, etc. are good too. Let the child explore areas of interests. But leave aside enough time for the family and for fun activities. Grade 4: At this age, the child will tell you what he likes. He needs to get involved in activities that will boost his confidence. This will also help him manage stress as this is the time when social pressure is beginning to build. But, beware of the homework “demon”. Your child needs more time with his studies. Balancing his schoolwork with other activities is very important. Grade 5: The fifth grader is bubbling with energy and will want to do just about everything. But she or he may conveniently push studies to the background. So, close supervision is needed. Keep one or two days free for family time and other activities. Now is a great time to get your child interested in community service. Middle school: Steer him away from TV. Get him engaged in activities that reinforce learning. Academic performance can be improved by encouraging your preteen to join clubs like the NAACP Youth Council, Girls & Boys Club, YMCA, Urban League youth program, debate team, language clubs, etc. As a thumb rule, 16-20 hours a week of extra activity should be more than enough. Still, remember to always look out for signs of burnout.
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Urban Parenting Tips
A New Day
Should You Let Your Adult Child Move Back Home? Well, that’s a good question and continues to be a dilemma for most parents. As a parent you want to help your adult child, but you want your child to become independent of you in most cases! You want your adult child to spread their wings and find their own space! But, sometimes that may be more difficult in our present day due to the high cost of housing. It may take your adult child more time to save up for their first apartment or home. Especially if they just finished college and may have student loans that they will need to pay back. So, you really want to help your adult child by letting them live with you, but, you want them not to become dependant upon you if you help them. Here are some tips and information you may want to consider when thinking about letting your adult child live with you...
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A New Day: Should You Let your Adult Child Move Back Home? 1) Consider charging your adult child rent while they are staying with you once they have secured a job. This will teach your adult child responsibility and how to manage their personal finances. They’ll need this experience in the future when they have their own apartment or home. 2) If you don’t want to charge your adult child rent or donít believe their financially able to pay rent, consider having them pay part or all of a utility bill which would include the electric, gas or cable bill. 3) If your adult child wants to use your telephone, make sure they have their own telephone line or cell phone that they are responsible for paying the bill. This will eliminate future headaches for you later, if your phone bill increases to an astronomical amount, due to your adult child living in your home. 4) Consider having your adult child purchase their own food or contribute to the purchase. You may find that your food bill may increase substantially when your adult child moves in. So, in order to alleviate problems with the potential added cost, have your adult child contribute to the cost or get their own food. Remember you’re trying to teach them responsibility and how to manage their own personal finances. So this is a way to do this! 5) Set ground rules for your adult child prior to them moving into your home. Remember, the bottom line is, this is your home and you want to be comfortable while you adult child is living with you. Make sure you make clear whether or not your adult child can have a boyfriend or girlfriend stay overnight in your home, responsibility for certain household chores and any additional ground rules you will want to discuss with your adult child. This will hopefully alleviate problems in the future! 6) You may want to consider setting a time frame for how long your adult child can live with you. That is if you want them to eventually get out on their own and become self sufficient. By doing this, your adult child will continue to learn responsibility and full independence by getting a place of their own! It’s okay to help your adult child by letting them live with you. However, you don’t want them to be dependant on you forever! You want them to get themselves financially secure, become self sufficient and eventually an independent adult, being able to take care of themselves- in their own place! After all, you’ve raised them to carry their own torch so they can be prepared when you’re no longer able to help them.
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Urban Parenting Guide, Tips & Advice
5 Tips to a Winning PARENT-TEACHER RELATIONSHIP Behind every successful public school student is a great public school teacher And great teachers make great public schools. But teachers can’t do it alone. The research is clear: Students perform better in school when their parents are actively involved in their education. “Teachers help students soar and make their hopes and dreams come true,” said Reg Weaver, president of the National Education Association. “And when parents are involved in their children’s education, they will go farther - and the schools they attend are better.”
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NEA, which represents 2.8 million teachers, education support professionals and other educators, offers five easy ways for parents to get more involved in education year-round:
3. Attend school events. Open houses, parentteacher conferences, dances or other school activities provide good opportunities for parents to connect with teachers and school employees.
1. Check in with teachers on a regular basis. Be proactive and don’t wait for a problem or 4. Volunteer at the school. Make time in your schedule to help out with school plays, act as challenge to arise before taking action. a classroom helper or chaperone field trips. 2. Get to know the guidance counselors and other school employees. Education support professionals generally know all of the students in the school, and their relationship with your children will continue as they move from one grade to the next.
5. Keep the lines of communication open. Whether they are your children’s classmates, friends or neighbors, get to know others especially parents who have children attending the same school. Form support groups to work on problems and issues of mutual interest.
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