An Adventure In Understanding By NANCY GOODWYN*
"WHAT
ABOUT DIVORCE in America?" "Does everyone have a car?" Do milny families have maids?" These are some of the questions I was asked in Italy this summer during my stay with an Italian family. \What an experience it was to live with these people, to participate in their activities, to learn their customs, and at the same time to see what they think of America! From the contacts I made ( my ideas are gathered almost ent irely from English-speaking Italians unless someone translated for me), I discovered several misconceptions which had been established from movies or reading material. First of all most Italians think of Americans as wealthy people, all of whom have automobi les, mansions, and maids. Although many of the upper middle class homes in Ita ly hav e maids, my Italian home did not ; instead the mother and two daught ers did the housework. Since I was to be an extra daughter for the summer, I tried to make myself useful when dishw ashing time came around. But my Ita lian mother, surprised that an American would offer to h elp in the kitchen, refused my help. It was quite a while before I could convince her that we had no maids in my home in America and that we young peop le are used to doing things aro und the house. Anoth er thing they all wond ered about was the divorce rate in America. Th ey've beard much about divorce from the movies, newspapers, and magazines; and it was hard for them to realize that all of Am erica is not like Hollywood and Broadway. On e girl told me, " Am ericans get married easier than Italians. Perhaps that is why the marriages do n't last." By thi s she meant that many Am ericans get married on short acquaintances; this is rare in Italy , for generally a girl never goes out with a man who hasn't been among her immediat e circle of friends for some time. Since in wellresp ected homes a girl does not go out alone with a man unless she has intentions of
marriage, most of the dating is done in groups; and there is more necessity for longer acqua intances before marriage. Another reason for their concern over the American divorce rate sterns from their religion. Since most of Italy is Catholic, divo rce is not accepted; and it is hard for them to con-
ceive of being married more than once when so much of their emphasis is placed on the home and family. Among the most impressive features of Italian culture is this close fam ily relation ship and the centering of interest around the home. Since married women rare ly seek emp loyment, they spend much more time in the home with their fami lies than many American women do; and they are not drawn away from the home by a myriad of civic organizations. In Italy such groups simply do not exist. Working hours in Italy are roughly from 9 to 12 in the morning and 3 to 8 in the evening, so that all working men can go home for the mid-day meal. This arrangement allows the men to eat a leisurely dinner, have a short rest afterwards, and to spend more time with the children during the day. Even young people seem more content to stay at home and spend more time doing things with the family . Before this summer, I had always pictured NICE BOSSY. Below: The author (right) and her Italian "sister, " Lucia Facchinetti, pause during a hike along an Alpine mountain side in northern Ita ly to make friends with a farmer's cow. Below them is an abandoned hotel. Left: Miss Goodwyn flanked by two of her "sisters" at a party given by the American visitors in honor of the Italian friends at whose homes they sta yed.
*Miss Goodwyn, president of Colleg e Government at Westhampton, spent the summer in Italy as Richmond's Community Ambas sador . Her trip was sponsored by 43 Richmond civic organizations. Richmond is one of some 70 American cities which sponsor such trips abroad in the interest of world peace and understanding . Richmond's first Community Ambassador , in 1954, was James A. Moncure, now a member of the history faculty at the University.
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