Ursuline Associate Update

How has your life changed since becoming an Associate?

By Dan Heckel, OSUA

In a Nov. 29, 1981, letter to the Ursulines Sisters, Sister Rose Marita O’Bryan – who then served both on the Leadership Council and as chairwoman of the Formation Team – spoke of a “new hope taking shape in our hearts” – the beginning stage of launching an Associate program.

The Formation Team was asked to work on goals and objectives for an Associate program. This is how Sister Rose Marita described the potential program to the Sisters:

“An Associate is a person (man or woman) who wants to be associated with the mission and spirit of the Ursuline Community, who wants to share in the community’s ideals, goals and challenges, but who does not wish to profess canonical vows or promises in the congregation. Associates live their own lifestyle, share communal prayer experiences, community workshops and celebrations, communication, hospitality and work of ministry in some way. The Mount Saint Joseph Ursuline Associate Program is a mutual belonging,

individually designed, which can be revised or terminated by mutual agreement.”

In the fall of 1983 – 40 years ago this year – Sister Fran Wilhelm was named the first director of the Associate program. In her first letter to the Sisters on Oct. 24, 1983, Sister Fran said this:

“We hope to keep the program as unstructured as possible, in order to move freely with the Spirit as it takes its own form around the gifts of both the Associates and the MSJ Ursulines. It is open to both men and women who are seeking affiliation with us in any of several levels of involvement.”

The program has been tweaked over the years, as its

leadership has transitioned from a handful of Sisters to lay Associates. But the core of being an Associate has never changed – it remains a “mutual belonging … guided by the Holy Spirit.”

As we celebrate 40 years of Ursuline Associates in 2023, perhaps it’s time to push the reset button. As we at Maple Mount have tried to bestir our Associates after the isolation of Covid, some Associates have wondered if they are expected to take on some group service project, or commit to attending more meetings.

We think great things can happen when Associates and Sisters gather, and we know your communities have many needs that our Associates

Sister Rose Marita O’Bryan pins Randy Shelby’s lifetime associate pin on him during Associates and Sisters Day at Mount Saint Joseph in 2013.

Sister Fran Wilhelm, right, visits with Associate Maria Galles in 2004. The two once worked together at Centro Latino.

Angela was active in community

Welcome 2023! Happy New Year! I hope everyone was able to enjoy a safe and relaxing holiday with their loved ones. I hope this year finds everyone in good health and brings much happiness and peace. We begin this year with open hands, big smiles, and new beginnings. Despite all the challenges of the past year, we were able to rise above them and move into a new year.

As you recall, Carol Braden-Clarke, Dan Heckel, and I visited several Associate groups to have a Community Conversation on how we can get involved in our community to better the areas that need change. We had some very interesting conversations and found that most groups are experiencing many of the same situations in their individual communities.

Getting out into their community is what Saint Angela Merici and her daughters did in her time, and they did it in the name of the Company. When each of us goes out and helps anywhere in our community – either individually or as a group –we are doing this as Ursuline Associates of Mount Saint Joseph. This year, we would like to focus on what all Associates have been doing in their community and how being an Ursuline Associate has changed your life.

Thank you all for being such wonderful examples of the charism of Saint Angela Merici.

Doreen Abbott, OSUA Coordinator of Ursuline Partnerships

Associate Update is published four times a year for the Associates of the Ursuline Sisters of Mount Saint Joseph 8001 Cummings Road, Maple Mount, KY 42356-9999

Phone: 270-229-2006 Website: ursulinesmsj.org

Email: associates.msj@maplemount.org

Coordinator of UrsUline PartnershiPs: Doreen Abbott, OSUA

direCtor of Mission advanCeMent/CoMMUniCations: Dan Heckel, OSUA

CoMMUniCations sPeCialist/GraPhiC desiGn: Jennifer Kaminski, OSUA

direCtor of develoPMent: Carol Braden-Clarke

Mission advanCeMent assistant: Sister Mary McDermott, OSU

develoPMent assistant: Sister Amelia Stenger, OSU

ASSOCIATE PURPOSE STATEMENT

We, the associates of the Ursuline Sisters of Mount Saint Joseph, proclaim the Gospel of Jesus through the actions of our everyday lives. We commit ourselves to living the charism of Saint Angela Merici in union with and in support of the Ursuline community of Mount Saint Joseph.

TDear Friends, ake a moment and think about “prisms” and “similes.” Yes, prisms – those transparent, three-dimensional objects that disperse white light into its component parts and create rainbows. And similes – figures of speech involving a comparison like “brave as a lion,” or “courageous as Saint Angela.”

We’ll come back to these later.

In this Update, you’ll be asked to think about how “becoming” an Ursuline Associate might have changed your life. I’d like to reflect a bit on “becoming.”

Back in 1965 when I was 17, I began my college years at Christian College in Columbia, Missouri; an all-girls’ school steeped in traditions of excellence and service. Within my first week, my Christian College “big sister” called me to account. I don’t remember what I had done or hadn’t done, but Sally came into my room, held my gaze, and intoned words that helped change my life: “Remember, Sharon, from now on, wherever you go, whatever you do, you will always be a Christian Cathy. Always.” That was all.

This was not a choice; it was now something I was. I could not say, “Oh, on Wednesday I think I’ll act like a Christian Cathy.” By becoming a Christian College freshman, I became then and forevermore different from what I had been. I could never be just “Sharon,” responsible only to me; I was now part of something larger, and in becoming part of a greater entity I had also expanded who I was.

Over the years there have been similar epiphanies or insights when I understood that an essential component of who I was had been expanded or shaped in a way beyond my conscious control. When I realized that I would always be a Girl Scout, when I knew that I was a Brescia College special educator, when I became an Ursuline Sister of Mount Saint Joseph – these realizations were accompanied by the knowledge that from that point forward, how I responded to and how I helped shape the world in which I lived must

and did reflect their values and character and charism.

Now, here’s where the prism and simile come in. We each have these many facets within ourselves, sometimes visible and nameable, sometimes hidden by our own events and experiences; but like a prism, the facets of who we are can catch and expand the light that surrounds us. I believe we have an option here – we can claim our prismatic selves, enjoying the colorful refractions of our becoming; or we can settle for similes – “acting like.”

May you have many diverse prismatic moments!

Blessings of peace and discovery, Sister Sharon Sullivan, OSU Congregational Leader

from front CHANGED

could help improve. But those are individual decisions to be made, not an expectation. The fact is, however you choose to serve, you do so as an Ursuline Associate.

Let’s say that again: However you choose to serve, you do so as an Ursuline Associate. You don’t have to wear your “Associate hat” in some official capacity to serve as an Ursuline Associate.

The Ursuline Sisters serve in a myriad of ways –many outside their “official” ministries – but they can’t help but serve as Ursuline Sisters. That is who they are. It’s a part of their identity.

Is being an Ursuline

Associate part of your identity? That is the core question that all Associates need to ask themselves. But here is an easier question that we would like you to answer:

“How has my life changed since I became an Ursuline Associate?” There is no right or wrong answer because each person has their own story, their own journey with the Ursuline Sisters as an Associate.

The late Sister Marietta Wethington used to jokingly refer to a local priest as a “dangerous preacher,” because she said, “his homilies make me want to change my life.” Interacting with deeply spiritual people – both Ursuline

Sisters and Associates – offers us all an opportunity to change our lives for the better. Please take a few moments to think about “how has my life changed since I became an Ursuline Associate?” Then send your response to Doreen Abbott at doreen.abbott@maplemount. org; by phone at 270-229-2006; or by mail to 8001 Cummings Road, Maple Mount, KY 42356. We’re thankful that you’ve chosen to live your life as an Ursuline Associate. Your responses will not be attributed to you without your permission. They will help guide us into the future as the Ursuline Sisters continue to transform lives.

How has my life changed since I became an Ursuline Associate?

Clip and mail to Doreen Abbott, 8001 Cummings Road, Maple Mount, KY 42356.

Sister Rosalin Thieneman, left, and Sister Marietta Wethington, right, visit with Associate Sarah Bowling in 2004. Sarah, who resides in Illinois, has been an associate since 1984. Sister Marietta was co-director of Ursuline Partnerships from 2004-2007 and later helped with associate formation.

Serving God comes naturally for Kim

By Dan Heckel, OSUA

Kim Haire said becoming an Ursuline Associate in 2017 just seemed like the natural thing to do, after a lifetime of being influenced by the Ursuline Sisters.

“I wanted to give back to the Sisters for all the things they have done for me,” she said. “I’ve always admired the hospitality charism of the Ursulines.”

Kim grew up in the tiny Grayson County, Ky., town of Wax, where she had Ursuline Sisters for teachers in the Peonia Elementary public school. But it was when she visited Maple Mount to see her older sister, Sister Cheryl Clemons, that she started being influenced by the Sisters.

“The Sisters were always so friendly,” she said.

She was only 9 when Sister Cheryl joined the community, so their relationship didn’t start to grow until Kim followed in her sister’s footsteps to attend Mount Saint Joseph Academy. It helped that Sister Cheryl taught her English, French and religion.

“She’s always been there for me,” Kim said. “I’m thankful she’s always been close by.”

Kim wanted a change from her small town life in Grayson County, and found that attending the Academy expanded her horizons.

“It was one of the best decisions of my life, because of the friendships I made, and the exposure to people from all over the world,” she said. “Two of my best friends were from Thailand. One was from Nicaragua, another from Quebec. It was great to get to know their cultures.”

After graduating from the Academy in 1979, she earned a degree in accounting and computer science from Brescia College in Owensboro. She and Phil Haire got married a week after she graduated and they moved to Evansville, Ind., where she worked in a temp agency and had their first child, Andrew. When they moved back to Owensboro, she earned a job in the oil and gas field, and after two years, landed a job with Texas Gas Transmission Corp., as a gas accountant.

Within five years, Phil’s work led the couple

to Paducah, Ky., where they spent the next 10 years. Kim served as the registrar for St. Mary High School for five years, then with Phil opened Our Father’s House, a Christian bookstore.

“It was very hard, but that was such a good experience,” she said. “Retail is not my skill set, but we felt called to do it. We met people of many faiths. It was a great faithbuilding experience.”

When Phil got an offer to return to Owensboro, Kim worked for more than a year at Owensboro High School before returning to Texas Gas in financial reporting. After seven years, she began working for the Diocese of Owensboro, where she has served for 13 years. She was hired as an accountant with a plan to take over when the controller retired. She served as controller for 10 years, until stepping back to part-time accountant in July 2022.

“I’ve always thought of my work as a ministry,” she said. “That’s why I began working for the diocese, I wanted something more meaningful.”

Her work life is hardly her only ministry.

One of Kim’s great passions is her involvement in Cursillo. Her first experience was in 1997, and she has managed to work many Cursillo weekends over the past 25 years.

“It was a conversion experience for me, and I wanted to share that with others,” she said. “I was already a practicing Catholic, but Cursillo made the faith personal for me. I had a relationship with God because I wanted it. I wanted others to have that opportunity.”

Cursillo has allowed her to meet people from all across the diocese. Some of those friends have become valued prayer partners for Kim.

“I’ve had a weekly prayer group that’s met

Kim Haire, right, sits with her sister, Ursuline Sister Cheryl Clemons, during lunch at the 2017 Women’s Retreat led by Sister Cheryl which was titled “Called by Name: Jesus and the Unnamed Women of the Gospels.”

for 22 years, since I’ve been back in Owensboro,” she said. “I had one in Paducah also. We pray, support each other, and share our lives.” The next Cursillo is in March 2023 at the Gasper River Camp and Retreat Center near Bowling Green.

Kim is also very active in her parish, Our Lady of Lourdes. She serves on the stewardship committee, as a hospitality and Eucharistic minister, as a picnic volunteer, and helps prepare funeral meals. She joined a newly formed communications committee, and she also participates in Eucharistic adoration.

Stewardship is important to both her and Phil, with whom she will celebrate 40 years of marriage with in May 2023. They have three adult children – Andrew, Amy and Logan –and four grandchildren, three boys and a girl.

“It’s the awareness of how stewardship is part of everyday life,” she said. “We feel so blessed to know that our lives and everything we have are gifts from God. The biggest influence on us was Bishop John McRaith. We were privileged to be friends with him. He was the one who opened our eyes to the meaning of stewardship.”

In 2017, Associate Joan Perry approached Kim to become an Associate. Joan, who was volunteering at St. Stephen Cathedral at the time, had an office near Kim’s office at the diocese. Kim knew Joan from her days teaching at Owensboro Catholic High School, and their friendship grew by going through the Associate process together.

As Kim’s work career starts winding down, she said she plans to become more involved with the Ursuline Associates. After all, it only seems natural.

Human connections make an impact

Over the holidays, I encountered people I had not seen in years while I was out shopping. We shared a hug and caught up on what was happening in our lives. Those brief encounters reminded me of how important human connections are and how much we have lost over the last few years. While technology is great and keeps us connected, it can’t replace a hug, or someone holding your hand or seeing the sadness or joy in a person’s eyes.

Last year we met with the Associate groups to have conversations about looking beyond their group to the larger community, and how they might serve. We learned about what people are already doing in their community and how they are called to help people in need. Through the conversations, we were able to witness the humility and passion Associates have for helping others. We also saw a desire to do something – even if people were not sure what they could do.

We so often think we must do something grandiose that will get 1,000 likes on social media to make a difference. WE DON’T. One hug in a grocery store made a difference for me. I’m certain what our Associates are already doing – giving rides, serving meals, and giving a blanket to a homeless person – is making a difference for someone. We encourage you to think about your gifts and how you might share them with someone in your community as Saint Angela encouraged us to do.

You can also show your support by buying a Quilt Club ticket before April 5, or attending Quilt Bingo on Sept. 10. Mount Raffle tickets will go on sale in June for the drawing on Sept. 10. We hope to see you at Associates and Sisters Day on June 24.

Carol Braden-Clarke Director of Development

The Western Kentucky Associates gather with their wagons full of gifts at Saint Joseph Villa in Maple Mount on Dec. 3, 2022. From left are Risë Karr, Betty Boren, Mike Sullivan, Lois Bell, Elaine Wood (as Mrs. Claus), Santa Claus and Sid Mason. Once again, John Wood was nowhere to be found while Santa was on the premises.

1 María Erica Lorca

2 Shearon Harris

Diane Wilson

Doris Wilson

4 Jennifer Kaminski

DeAnne Schmidt

5 Stella McClure

6 Cheryl Boardman

Mike Inyart

7 George Horishny

9 Mercedes O'Campo

10 Chris Denniston

11 Margaret Birge

Marian Pusey

Associate Janice Arth honored by Archdiocese of Kansas City

rsuline Associate Janice

UArth and her husband

14 Mary Costello

Pauline Goebel

15 Diane Hayden 18 Mike Sullivan

19 Carolyn Porter Florence Wieder

20 Angelina Glomb

21 Marcy Merti Elaine Wood

23 Carlene Braun

25 Marcella Critchelow

Jodie Fulkerson

28 Denise Heying

31 Meche Filipi

Don received the Deo Gratias Award on Nov. 10, 2022, from Kansas Archbishop Joseph F. Naumann for their work in support of the Catholic Church.

The Catholic Foundation of Northeast Kansas annually presents two Deo Gratias

(Latin for “Thanks be to God”) Awards – one to individuals and another to a Catholic Institution - in recognition of outstanding achievement, service and support of Catholic institutions.

Janice and her late husband

2 Martha House

Larry Minks

3 Lily Cloughley

4 Joyce Firenza

Evelina Salas

5 Marilyn Trechter

12 Velma Dees 1 Karen Howard

Marian Bennett

Pam Knudson

17 Terry Barnes

Alisa Clark 18 John Laker

Reilly Kathi Skidd

Ed Bradley

Dan Lawless became Ursuline Associates in 2000 in the Kansas City, Kan., area. That was a year after Janice began volunteering with the Serra Club in promoting vocations. Dan died in 2009.

After Don Arth’s first wife died in 2011, he and Janice met through their activities at Prince of Peace Parish in Olathe, Kan., and their involvement with the Serra Club. The two were married in 2012.

As reported in The Leaven, the newspaper of the Archdiocese of Kansas City, Kan., Don Arth’s father died in an accident when he was just 1, and his mother moved them to be closer to her family in Missouri. This was during the Great Depression, so they had little money. An anonymous benefactor helped him to attend the prep school in Conception, Mo., which had a profound effect on him. He and his first wife Liz supported Catholic education all of their lives.

Janice and Don have remained active members in the Serra Club and wanted to help those pursuing a vocation to the priesthood or religious life. The couple and the Catholic Foundation of Northeast Kansas established the Heart to Heart Scholarship Fund in 2021 to pay for some of the expenses of these individuals.

Janice was a licensed practical nurse, known for her compassionate care of her patients. As the late Sister Marie William Blyth wrote about Janice in 2015, “Janice feels strengthened by attending daily Mass and adoration, reading scripture, volunteering in the food kitchen, and trying to put the Gospel into practice in her daily life.”

Since the merger of the Ursulines of Paola with Mount Saint Joseph in 2008, Janice has remained one of the most active Kansas Associates.n

Don and Janice Arth, left, were presented the Deo Gratias Award on Nov. 10, 2022, at Savior Pastoral Center in Kansas City, Kan., by Archbishop Joseph F. Naumann.

In Loving Memory...

JERRY BIRGE, 83, died Dec. 2, 2022, in Jasper, Ind. Jerry was larger than life, using his deep, booming voice for a career in television as both a news reporter and sportscaster for many decades. He also served as the sports editor of the Jasper Herald for more than 15 years. In 2010, he was inducted into the Indiana Sportswriters and Sportscasters Association Hall of Fame. In 2002, Jerry began serving as the director of marketing and communications for the Ursuline Sisters, while continuing to host his popular TV show, “Around Owensboro with Jerry Birge.” Jerry retired from the Mount in 2008, and made his commitment as an Associate later that year, with Sister Amelia Stenger as his contact Sister. Jerry is survived by his wife of 64 years, Associate Maggie Birge; one son, Joe Birge (Jill); five daughters, Joan Little (Dan Wilhite), Marlene Cocchetto (Alan), Marilyn Scherer (Doug), Marcia Birge and Jennifer Birge; daughter-in-law Starlene Birge; 13 grandchildren and 13 great-grandchildren; three brothers, Jim, John and Bob Birge; and four sisters, Judy Calley, Jane Birge, Betty Anderson and Kathy Eckerle.

JO ANN MORELLI, 90, died Dec. 9, 2022, in Manahawkin, N.J. She and her late husband Raymond became Associates in 1993, with Sister Pam Mueller as their contact Sister. Their nephew, Father Anthony Shonis, was chaplain at Maple Mount, and the couple helped raise him and his sister after their mother died. She was a member of the North Brunswick (N.J.) Senior Center. In her younger years she liked to frequent Atlantic City to play the slots. Jo Ann was an avid sports fan and enjoyed rooting for and watching her favorite Philadelphia teams. Jo Ann is survived by her son Raymond M. Morelli (Lil); her daughter Terri Brady (Bill); and three grandchildren.

ANNETTE HENDERSON STOKES, 85, of Henderson, Ky., died Nov. 19, 2022. She became an Associate in 1991, with former Sister Maureen Griner her contact Sister. Annette enjoyed entertaining at home, traveling, painting and crocheting. Her survivors include four daughters, Rebekah Stokes Wood, Edythe Stokes Mays (Owen), Gina Stokes Butler (Harold), and Nancy Elaine Stokes Floyd (Randy); one sister, Josephine Henderson; 10 grandchildren, 13 greatgrandchildren, and two great-great grandchildren.

JIM WILSON, 94, of Overland Park, Kan., died Dec. 28, 2022. He and his wife Doris became Associates in 1988, with Ursuline Sister of Paola Raymond Dieckman as their contact Sister. Jim served in the U.S. Army

We extend deepest sympathy to:

• Kim Haire and Sister Cheryl Clemons, whose cousin Jason Johnston died Nov. 9.

• Sister Catherine Barber, whose nephew Phil Barber died Nov. 18 and whose sister Mary Ann Bowling died Nov. 19.

• Sister Rita Scott, whose brother Charlie died Nov. 21.

• Sister Marilyn Mueth, whose cousin and his wife Joe and Patty Kreher died Nov. 19.

• Mary Teder and Sister Amelia Stenger, whose daughter/great niece Amanda died Dec. 2.

• Jean Murphy, whose brother Robert Mattingly died Dec. 27.

• Carol Hill, whose husband, Raymond, died Jan. 1.

for three years, then began his career in sales, completing his work life as a mortgage loan originator. He was an active member of the Church of the Holy Cross, and served as president of the Serra Club of Kansas City, Kan. Survivors include Doris and their three children, Greg, Jane Booker and Mary Goodwin (Robert); two grandchildren and three great grandchildren.

LUCILLE WEIDENBENNER, 85, of Glennonville, Mo., died Jan. 17. She and her late husband Cletus Weidenbenner became Associates in 1987, with her niece, the late Sister Diane Marie Payne, as her contact Sister. Lucille was a housewife and operated a day care center in her home. She was a member of St. Teresa Catholic Church and the Parish Altar Society in Glennonville. Survivors include her daughter, Ursuline Associate Janet Kuper (Steve); six sons, Curtis Weidenbenner (Stephanie), Father Joseph Weidenbenner, Mark Weidenbenner (Roxanne), Edgar Weidenbenner (Becky), Edward Weidenbenner (Cindy) and Cletus Ray Weidenbenner (Karen); her sister Betty Rose Griner and her sister-in-law Ursuline Sister Mary Celine Weidenbenner; 18 grandchildren and 29 great-grandchildren.

Want to win a quilt?

For the purchase of a $25 ticket, you get 12 chances to win a handmade quilt! Drawings take place at noon on the first Friday of each month. (except April 6 due to Good Friday). Watch the drawings live on our Facebook page!

Sign up by April 5 to be entered into 12 drawings Only 2,500 tickets will be sold.

We almost sold out last year, so don’t delay Contact Carol Braden-Clarke: 270-229-2008

carol.braden-clarke@maplemount.org

Sign up online: ursulinesmsj.org/quilt-club

Sister Cheryl offering online Lenten program

Sister Cheryl Clemons will not be offering her spring women’s retreat this year, but those interested in her programs can participate in a Lenten retreat in early March via Zoom.

Sister Cheryl is presenting “Our Human Desires: Identifying, Strengthening, and Converting the Longings of our Heart” with The West Virginia Institute for Spirituality. The program is Friday, March 3, from 6-8 p.m. (EST) and Saturday, March 4, from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. (EST). Sister Cheryl describes the program this way:

“Jesus’ first words in John’s gospel ask, ‘What are you looking for?’ This call invites us, especially during Lent’s call to conversion, to explore the deep desires of our hearts. Through silence, imaginative contemplation, reflective sharing, and exploring both the Examen

and some of the Ignatian Rules for Discernment, retreatants will be invited to draw closer to God present within our deepest desires.” The cost for the program is $70. Scholarships are available by request by emailing Sister Caroline Riley at wviscr@aol.com. Because Sister Cheryl is a graduate of the spiritual direction program at the West Virginia Institute, the Ursuline Sisters receive a percentage of the proceeds from the programs she does with the institute.

The registration deadline is March 2. To register, send your name, email, phone, address and a check payable to The West Virginia Institute for Spirituality, 1601 Virginia Street East, Charleston, WV 25311. There is also an online donation form at www.wvis.org For questions, email wvisreg@ gmail.com or call 304-345-0926.

Sister Cheryl Clemons presented an Advent retreat focused on the The Eucharist on Dec. 3, 2022, in the Mount Auditorium.

Retreatants included Associates

Martha House, third from left, (above) and Donna Favors and Karen Wells (left).