Types of Casino Slot Players You Don't Want to Be

Casinos are great fun if you have money to burn, time to spend there and if you know how to play. Yes, I said how to play. For those people who THINK they know, pay attention to the tips given in this article. You may even recognize yourself as one of these types, but I really hope you don't. * The Thinker - This is the guy who sits down at a slot machine and takes in everything around him. He kind of scopes out the area and then inserts cash into the machine to start playing. However, he's methodical to the point of annoyance. He has to first read the rules of the game, OK so we'll give him that much. Then what follows is when the annoyance kicks in. He has to study every little detail on the screen, almost as if he is studying for an exam. Once he has the rules and details in his head, he will start to play, emphasis on start. He will insert a $20 - and choose a bet amount and a multiplier. He starts off low, to see how the first pull goes. As the reels roll around and finally come to a stop, he again studies the result; excessively so. He continues this pattern and by the time you are ready to leave, he still has that original money left and looks like he is too intent to move. It's going to be a long night. * The Waver - This is the person who deposits money into the machine and while the reels are rolling, she puts her hands near the screen and makes all kinds of hand motions, thinking this will bring her luck and actually make a difference. Are you kidding me?

Where did that kind of thinking come from? Apparently, this person hasn't figured out that the wheels are pre-set to "hit" at random times, and the person playing only hopes that happens when she is there. So all that hand waving isn't going to increase the wins, it's going to make the person have a lot of empty seats on both sides - even veteran slot players can't stand to watch this tactic. * The Drinker - This guy sits down and his mission is to find a girl in a skimpy outfit to bring him drinks. He keeps looking around for someone to take his drink order. Until he does that, he isn't going to play the machine. After all, when you sit down at a slot machine, having a cocktail is the most important element, right? Finally, he gets his drink and all is right with the world. As he slurps it down like soda, he gets a little more obnoxiously talkative. Sorry, love to stay and chat, but time for me to go. Duck that guy - he's bad news. * The Octogenarian - This one is always good for a laugh, but cute at the same time. So we have the senior person sitting there playing the machine. But apparently with not much slot experience. The person inserts a $5 bill and waits for the money to register.

Once it does, they choose the one cent option with a multiplier of 1! I know, do you believe this? They happily play, of course never winning anything with a minuscule bet such as that. A few hours later, some other friends come by to tell the person the bus will

soon be ready to leave. She gathers up her things and walks out and you can overhear part of the conversation: "So, Millie, did you have a good time?"

"Oh yes, I did. In fact, I didn't even spend a lot of money for all the fun I had. A few hours ago, I put in $5.00 and I still have some of that original $5.00 left."

"Really? You mean you won a bunch of money and you still have that $5.00?"

"Oh, no, I didn't win anything, I just have some of the money left."

They walk to the waiting bus as a group, the player is satisfied with not losing any money (not winning any, either) and the others look baffled but accept the answer. They have a confused look on their face, trying to figure out what the other bus rider just said. * The Local - This is the hurry-up-and-let's-go person. He is on a mission - play long enough at the slots to gain enough points to be eligible for the weekly giveaway prize.

He is there simply to get the gift. That's all. Not to win, not to enjoy the game, just to rack up enough points so he can take home tonight's mixing bowl set. Wow, that goal at a casino is so up there. Excuse me while I yawn.

Last, but not least, me. I come to the casinos to enjoy myself while playing the slots, drinking a few cokes and hoping to win a little cash. A lot of cash would be nice, too, but let's be realistic, after all. I have a set amount of money in my pocket that I can freely spend, but once it's gone, that's it. No more. I walk out of the casino knowing I've had fun for the past few hours and made a little profit, too. Oh yeah, and got to see all those funny people described above. They may look different each trip to the casino, but they're always there!