April 19, 2010

Vanguard The

Board OKs New Dorms

Matthew Peterson

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF mwp601@jaguar1.usouthal.edu

The USA Board of Trustees Executive Committee met April 15 to approve two resolutions for a new 300-room residential hall to be located in the space between Delta 4 and the Sigma Chi fraternity house.

Administrators believe this new housing will help accommodate the rising number of students who want to live on campus.

The facility is expected to be ready in time for the fall 2011 semester.

“Our housing applications are considerably beyond what we anticipated to the point that we feel relatively sure that we’re going to be short of housing this fall,” USA President Gordon Moulton said.

According to documents from Student Affairs, housing has received 618 applications for rooms as of April 12, up from 387 that time last year. Beyond housing 300 more students, the new dormitory will also feature a new style of housing: living-learning communities.

According to the plan, one or two faculty members will live in the dormitory, and there will be a classroom located in the building, too.

Administrators plan to leave sections of this dormitory for students with specialized interests, like their academic major or community service.

By grouping these students together, Vice President for Student Affairs Dr. John Smith hopes they will feel more connected to the campus.

“Living-learning communities significantly impact the retention of students,” Smith said at the Board meeting. “If we can get them connected to campus life, we have a much better chance of keeping them enrolled in the University.”

Moulton said administrators have not decided if they will add more parking with the building but pointed out that there was room to do so if needed.

Moulton also said he does not expect to have to close any roads for the construction.

The administration has also not yet decided on a name for the new dormitory.

Inside

Police Blotter p.2

Condoms Are (Still) Your Best Friend See Etc., p. 6

Serving USA Since 1965

April 19, 2010

VOLUME 47, NUMBER 31

New SGA Leaders Share Goals Brendan Davis

ASSOCIATE EDITOR thater@gmail.com

With each new member of next year’s Student Government Association (SGA) Executive Council (EC) receiving more than 65 percent of the votes for their respective offices, President-Elect Kimberly Proctor, Vice President-Elect Colin AlGreene, and Treasurer Michael Baldwin have all proved popular with students and will likely face great expectations in the coming year.

The Vanguard sat down with the new EC members to discuss their hopes for next academic year’s administration.

“I’m really excited. I think we’re going to be productive,” Proctor said. “We’re all experienced; we’ve had experience being officers, and we really know how SGA works.”

Proctor is currently serving as vice president, Al-Greene is chief justice, and Baldwin is treasurer.

Courtesy of Kimberly Proctor One of Proctor’s goals in the coming SGA President-Elect Kim Proctor, pictured year will be to provide more transparency above, and the rest of the new SGA leaders for the office of president by posting

minutes of her meetings outside the Senate on the SGA website when possible.

“I think that that would be really beneficial for students and the senators,” Proctor said.

Proctor also said she would like to do a monthly video update for students about the state of the campus.

“I really want to use technology. We have a great Web [committee] chair this year who will hopefully be coming back next year,” she said.

Proctor’s main campaign goal was making SGA the voice of students, rather than simply a bank funding student organizations and projects over the year.

The rest of the EC is on board.

Al-Greene said that he would like to improve student involvement on campus.

“You have a set block of students that get involved with things,” Al-Greene said.

“Like people who are Greek, or in honors or whatever, and they’re the people who get involved. … It’s just like this neverending loop. It’s like the only people who get involved in SGA are the people who

discuss how they will change SGA next year.

see SGA, page 4

Hospital Expansion Planned

Courtesy of USA Public Relations

Pictured is an artist’s rendering of the proposed new look of the University of South Alabama Children’s and Women’s Hospital. USA’s Board of Trustees has approved the expansion project, which will improve the hospital’s interior facilities, the exterior’s aesthetics, and the parking lot.

Etc. p.6

Arts & Entertainment p.8

Drink and Draw A Successful First At Serda’s Coffee Co. See Arts & Entertainment, p. 8

Sports p.11

Opinion p.14

Hank Aaron Brings Baseball Legends to Mobile See Sports, p. 11

Distractions p.17

Should Your Online Purchases Be Taxed?

See Opinion, p.15

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The

Vanguard

Vanguard The

University of South Alabama’s Student Voice Mission The Vanguard, the student-run newspaper of the University of South Alabama, serves its readership by reporting the news involving the campus community and surrounding areas. The Vanguard strives to be impartial in its reporting and believes firmly in its First Amendment rights.

Submission and Editorial Policies Send letters and guest columns to: Opinion Editor, USAVanguard.editor@gmail.com or The Vanguard, University of South Alabama, P.O. Drawer U-1057, Mobile, Ala. 36688. Letters and guest columns must be received by 7 p.m. on the Wednesday prior to the Monday publication. Submissions should be typed and must include the writer’s name, year, school and telephone number.

All submissions become the property of The Vanguard. Unsigned letters will not be published. The Vanguard reserves the right to edit letters and guest columns for length and clarity. Letters will be limited to 300 words. Letters and guest columns are the opinion of the writer.

The Staff Editorial represents the consensus opinion of the Editorial Board, which is composed of the Editor-in-Chief, Managing Editor, Associate Editor, Copy Editor, and Opinion Editor. All members of the Editorial Board have the same weight during weekly Editorial Board meetings.

The Vanguard has a commitment to accuracy and clarity and will print any corrections or clarifications. To report a mistake, call the Editor-in-Chief at 251-460-6442 or e-mail USAVanguard.Editor@ gmail.com.

The Vanguard is a member of Collegiate Presswire and U-Wire, which syndicates to a national audience.

The Vanguard is published Mondays during the academic year, except for exam periods and vacations, and is published twice each summer. The Vanguard is supported in part by an allocation from student activity fees and operates in the Student Media Department of the Division of Student Affairs. Issues are available at most University buildings and select off-campus locations. The first copy is free. Additional copies are $1 each.

EDITORIAL STAFF Editor-in-Chief: Matthew Peterson Managing Editor: Daniela Werner Associate Editor: Brendan Davis Etc. Editor: Greg Gulbranson Arts & Entertainment Editor: Bradley Turner Opinion Editor: Alex Whalen Sports Editor: Matt Weaver Senior Reporter: Laura Beth Calcote Senior Reporter: Cameron Adkins Senior Reporter: Jessica Heddings Photo Editor: Simon Reinert Copy Editor: Johnny Davis Webmaster: Rodney Thompson DISTRIBUTION Distribution Manager: Brendan Davis Distribution: Jolyn Picard ADVERTISING STAFF Advertising Manager: Wesley Jackson Advertising Representative: Regi Allen Advertising Representative: Daniel Fordemwalt Graphic Designer: Jennifer Manning Graphic Designer: Brittany Hawkins MANAGEMENT Adviser: Robert Holbert Accounting: Kathy Brannan Web site: http://www.usavanguard.com Mailing Address The Vanguard University of South Alabama P.O. Drawer U-1057 Mobile, Ala. 36688 Phone Number (251) 460-6442 Article XIV, Section 8 of The Lowdown: The editors of the student publications shall be free from any type of censorship and shall be responsible for the form, content and staff of the publication.

SPLC Statement: The Vanguard recognizes and affirms the editorial independence and press freedom of all student-edited campus media. Student editors have the authority to make all content decisions and consequently bear the responsibility for the decisions that they make.

April 19, 2010

p lice bl tter

4/9 - Theft of Article from Auto A purse containing a wallet, cash, driver’s license, and student ID was stolen from a vehicle in the Health Services parking lot. The items were valued at $49.

4/10 - Theft of Article from Auto A wallet, debit card, driver’s license, cash, gift card, and insurance card were stolen from a vehicle outside the Rec Center at approximately 7:30 p.m. The items were valued at $88.

4/11 - Contempt of Court Failing to Appear At 3:48 a.m., a non-student was detained and turned over to the Mobile Police Department for an active arrest warrant.

4/11 - Disorderly Conduct/ Disturbing the Peace There was a disturbance at The Grove pool area at 4:25 p.m.

4/12 - Unlawful Breaking and Entering a Vehicle An unknown person entered an unlocked vehicle parked at the intramural fields and stole keys and a cell phone. The items were valued at $110.

4/12 - Harassing Communications A student reported receiving unwanted communication from a male.

Ask Norm

4/13 - Theft from Public Building A female reported her purse stolen from The Grove. Estimated value for the purse and its contents is $56.

4/13 - Theft of Property, 2nd Degree A student reported a gym bag was stolen from the Rec Center the previous night. Among the items taken were a BMW key with remote, Acura MDX key with remote, house keys, and clothing.

The value of the contents was estimated at $545.

4/14 - Domestic Violence The crime of domestic violence was committed at the Delta 4 dorms at 12:01 a.m.

4/15 - Possession of Marijuana Two suspects were arrested for possession of marijuana at The Grove at 2:27 a.m. when an officer responded to a call reporting two individuals attempting to break into vehicles.

Q & A with USA Chief of Police Normand Gamache Q: What are the consequences of a DUI? A: [A convicted person] shall be punished by imprisonment in the county or municipal jail for not more than one year, or by fine of not less than $600 nor more than $2,100, or both a fine and imprisonment. In addition, on a first conviction, the Director of Public Safety shall suspend the driving privilege or driver’s license of the person convicted for a period of 90 days.

A second conviction within five years shall be punished by a fine of not less than $1,100 nor more than $5,100 and/or imprisonment, which may include hard labor in the county or municipal jail for not more than one year.

[The Director of Public Safety shall suspend the convicted’s driving privilege or driver’s license for one year.]

[For convictions] of a third or fourth offense, the fines and potential imprisonment increase.

Also the suspension of driving privileges increase.

Elementary Ed and Special Ed To Merge Jessica Heddings

SENIOR REPORTER jah802@jaguar1.usouthal.edu

In a recent letter to the editor, a University of South Alabama student in the College of Education (COE) expressed concern over a possible curriculum change that, if approved by the state, will be in effect for students who enter the college in fall 2010.

Dr. Harold Dodge, associate professor in the Department of Leadership and Teacher Education, and Dr. Richard Hayes, dean of the COE, addressed the proposed changes to the curriculum and the concerns any students in the college may have.

The COE has been working on this curriculum for several years, as a result of changes in state and federal requirements, as well as requests made by Alabama public school systems. Currently, the COE is waiting for state feedback before making the changes.

The curriculum will merge the Elementary Education and Special Education programs. This will allow students to obtain two separate teaching licenses with one degree.

Hayes described this by saying that the University will soon have one train leading to one destination with two options, as opposed to having two trains leading to two separate, concrete options.

Courtesy of Department of Education

Pictured above is a flyer the College of Education distributed about courses that are getting removed from the Education curriculum.

Several years ago, public schools began placing special education children, as well as children with English as a second language, and those with different learning styles, all in one classroom with other students. The current curriculum does not prepare Education majors to handle all these situations in a classroom.

The COE graduates between 250 and 300 elementary education teachers each year, and currently 12-20 can be certified to teach special education students. Under the proposed curriculum, all 250-300 graduates would be able to get a special education teaching certification.

see EDUCATION, page 4

April 19, 2010

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The

Vanguard

A Day in the Life

Of USA Director of Financial Aid Emily Johnston

Laura Beth Calcote

SENIOR REPORTER laurabethcalcote@gmail.com

If Emily Johnston had become what she wanted to be as a child, there might be more healthy animals, but there would also be more students searching for financial aid with nowhere to go. She wanted to be a veterinarian, but instead she is now the director of financial aid at the University of South Alabama, and she spends her day working to help you find the means to pursue your education.

A lifelong resident of Mobile, and a graduate of St. Paul’s High School, Johnston is also an alumna of USA with a degree in Finance.

As a child, she spent her summers with her grandparents in the Blue Ridge Mountains of South Carolina.

“They lived an hour from the nearest town on a lake,” she said. “We had a garden, fruit grove, no air conditioning, no phone, or clothes dryer. It was wonderful!”

At the request of her father, Johnston’s first job was volunteering at the American Lung Association.

“My father advised me to get a job for the summer after my 10th grade in high school. I procrastinated and didn’t get one. So, one evening he asked about my summer job and when I told him I didn’t have one, he said, ‘Be ready at 7:30 in the morning. Wear a skirt. You are going to your job.’

“My dad dropped me off at the American Lung Association the next morning and I worked 40 hours per week there – all summer – and I got paid nothing! It was all volunteer.

I learned a tremendous amount about how an office works, but, believe me, the next summer I got a paying job!”

Johnston counts her father as her biggest influence.

“He raised me to be independent, have initiative, compassion, to treat everyone equal, be polite, and especially treat people like I would want to be treated,” she said.

It could be this motto that carries her through a job that deals with people’s most touchy subject: their money. The process of gaining financial aid for school is not always a mouse-click away, and after 21 years at South, Johnston understands the importance of doing everything she can to help students. That’s why she’s up at 5 a.m. every day and at her desk by 7:15 a.m.

“I grab a cup of coffee on my way down the hall to my office, sign on to the computer, and begin answering student e-mails in our financial aid e-mail box,” she said. “I like to have all e-mails received after 5 p.m. the previous day answered before 8 a.m.”

Johnston enjoys her job and speaks highly of the financial aid team.

“I love administering financial aid – it is always a challenge and the financial aid staff is fantastic!” she said. “I look forward to seeing them every day.”

She even counts some of her colleagues as her closest friends, which is important, because dealing with students and their money is not always pleasant.

One particular incident stands out in her mind.

“I was working the front desk area one afternoon and a student got mad about a federal policy that negatively affected him,” she said. “He began cussing at me loudly and everyone in the front area froze. I sat quietly and he finally stormed out of the office with the cuss words still flying. The next day he came in and demanded to see the ‘director’ – he was still very angry. When he walked into my office and saw that the person he was so ugly to the day before was me, he almost fainted.”

It’s days like that one that make the weekends more desirable, and Johnston enjoys spending her time away from school with her husband, Eugene, who she says is “a fantastic husband who makes me a better person.”

Frame shot from JagTV

Director of Financial Aid Emily Johnston, who enjoys a late night game of cards and the company of friends, arrives at her desk at 7:15 a.m. each day to have students’ e-mails from the previous day answered by 8 a.m.

A perfect day would include reading the newspaper, meeting friends for lunch, sitting with them by the pool, and latenight cards.

“I believe in a full day of activities!” Johnston said.

In addition to Eugene, Johnston also finds family in her co-workers. She said, “They are my family. We spend more see DAY, page 4

USA to Lead State in Health Record Reform Alcohol Use Tested Daniela Werner

Christina Skaggs

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services has awarded the University of South Alabama a $7.5-million grant to “lead Alabama in a nationwide effort to improve health care through electronic health record systems,” according to a College of Medicine (COM) press release.

The four-year grant, one of the largest competitive grants in USA’s history, was awarded to the COM’s Center of Strategic Health Innovation for helping Alabama’s primary care providers change over to electronic health record systems (EHRS). This is part of a national, $2 billion effort to improve health care efficiency and patient outcomes funded by the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009, the press release read.

The grant’s principal investigator, USA Director of Medical Informatics Dr. Dan Roach, said that while there are many “variables at play” in estimating how long it will take Alabama to completely transition to EHRS, “it is our goal to train 1,340 physicians to become ‘meaningful users’ of certified electronic health record systems by 2012. “‘Meaningful use’ is a set of rules for electronic health record use defined by the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services whereby eligible providers can receive incentive payments if they can meet all of the criteria,” he told The Vanguard.

For USA, the grant means the establishment of the Alabama Regional Extension Center (ALREC), a syndicate of partners led by USA that includes the Medical Association of the State of Alabama, Alabama Medicaid Agency, University of Alabama at Birmingham, Auburn University, Alabama Primary Healthcare Association, Childersburg Area Rural Health Network, and the JHD Group.

The ALREC will facilitate the process of shifting from paper records to electronic ones, allowing “physicians to have more rapid access to patient information and

USA’s Counseling and Testing Services Office held an alcohol screening for students and faculty April 8. The screening, conducted in the Student Center, was coordinated by Manager of Substance Abuse Counseling Dr. Robert Hanks.

Forty-six students and one faculty member participated in the study. These numbers have increased since Hanks started screening students and faculty in 1999, when only three individuals participated.

The Alcohol Use Disorders Identification Test (AUDIT) asked a series of alcohol-related questions ranging from family history, daily consumption, and effects felt after consumption. Based on the answers, Hanks and Sexual Assault Coordinator Dr. Darleen Dempster evaluated the participants’ tests and gave out advice on drinking.

According to Hanks, the screening was offered to advise students and faculty on alcohol consumption, and to identify students or faculty who were drinking in ways that were considered abusive and spotting those that were building a dependency.

Some of the most common alcohol abusers are students who belong to Pan-Hellenic and athletic organizations, Hanks said. Freshmen and people with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) also topped the list.

Those who abuse alcohol are either doing so in response to stress, making a social situation more comfortable, answering to peer pressure, or trying to achieve the positive feeling alcohol gives them, but the good feeling provided by alcohol, Hanks said, is a misconception.

“After you start to drink heavily, the worse you will feel,” Hanks said.

The after-effects can leave drinkers feeling fatigued, nauseated, or cause them to vomit.

While Hanks maintains that there is no safe level of alcohol consumption, those who drink should limit their drinking habits. Women should have no more than one drink a

STAFF REPORTER cms712@jaguar1.usouthal.edu

MANAGING EDITOR danielawerner87@gmail.com

Courtesy of Public Relations, College of Medicine

USA Physician and Director of Medical Informatics Dr. Dan Roach, pictured above, is the principal investigator for the $7.5 million grant USA received to lead Alabama’s transition to electronic health record systems.

ultimately improve the quality of patient care,” Roach said in the press release.

Primary care providers will need guidance through the process of becoming meaningful users; that guidance is the mission of the ALREC, according to Roach, who is a graduate of the COM and USA’s pathology residency training program.

“We are dealing with a complex system on a statewide scale,” Roach told The Vanguard. “There are many different levels of provider awareness and adoption of EHRs in that some have not even started thinking about it, while others may have decided to buy an EHR but have not chosen one yet, and still others may already be on an EHR but have not yet become meaningful users.” see GRANT, page 10

see ALCOHOL, page 4

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The

Vanguard

April 19, 2010

Campus Portals Approved

Why Fraternity Row Closed

Cameron Adkins

SENIOR REPORTER cja501@jaguar1.usouthal.edu

Courtesy of USA Public Relations

The USA Board of Trustees approved the designs for new entrances into campus at its March 12 meeting. Entranceways such as the one shown above will be constructed at the South Drive, North Drive, and Stadium Drive entrances into campus. The total budget for the project is $2.8 million, which is being funded out of a bond issue.

Education

Day

The new curriculum will require the same amount of credit hours (128) and can be completed in the same amount of time as the current curriculum. Another benefit for students is the ability to take an added 12 credit hours in order to gain certification for early childhood education and early childhood special education. This will make it easier for graduates to find and keep jobs, and it addresses, in one easy step, one of the problems Alabama has faced for a long time – educating all types of students.

In reference to the letter to the editor, Dodge said, “We have not found an injured person yet.”

According to Hayes, the college will fix problems when it finds them, as it is currently doing with fewer than 40 students whose files show they may have an issue graduating with the new curriculum.

“I don’t know who the student is who will be hurt,” Hayes said, “unless the student does not see an adviser, or will not be graduating in a timely fashion.”

When changes like this are made, Dodge said that students sometimes think that the University does not consider students, but that in this situation, there are many safety nets and lifeboats in place.

For example, the implementation can be extended by 18 months for students currently seeking candidacy. This would allow three semesters for the students to gain candidacy and either finish in the degree program already outlined for them or to choose to follow the new one.

The key concept to realize with the change, according to both Hayes and Dodge, is that the state and federal government changes teacher certification requirements often, and that the new curriculum would more effectively produce teachers who will be certified when they graduate.

time together than we do with those related to us. They are awesome and make me smile!”

Other honorary members of the family are Johnston’s three rescued cats (Orange Kitty, Scarface, and Sexy Rexy) and a rescued Orange-winged Amazon parrot named Murphy.

“I would have a slew of animals – but Eugene said no more mammals can live with us,” she said.

Johnston’s proudest moment is a three-way tie.

“When I beat Lynette Pearlman in the Alabama Piano Contest; she was always my nemesis and beat me every year,” she said.

from page 2

from page 3

“Or when I made the USA-A Team … or at the conclusion of our yearly financial aid audit there are no findings, which means we have followed the federal rules and done a great job!”

Johnston is satisfied with her lot in life.

“I don’t really have any regrets or do-overs.

I am privileged to have great family, friends, job, and co-workers. Any mistakes I have made, I have definitely learned from them so I wouldn’t want to take those away. I say, ‘Don’t go back – keep moving forward.’”

Just like her inner child, Johnston still hopes to volunteer for a veterinarian’s office one day when she retires. Until then, she will continue to positively impact lives, helping students find the means to earn their degrees.

SGA

Alcohol

are already involved. … That seems to be a wall that we’ve been hitting for three years.”

Al-Greene said that he will work to figure out how to reach students who aren’t involved in any organizations.

Baldwin said that he shares this concern, because students who don’t get involved don’t get as much benefit from the activity fees they’re required to pay every year.

“We’ve already done a lot to change that,” Baldwin said. “We’re still doing Campus Readership [free newspapers] which benefits a lot of students, we did the [Supplemental Instruction] program, hoping to help with retention.”

day or seven a week. Men should have no more than two drinks a day or 14 drinks a week. These numbers vary depending on the size of the person drinking.

Out of the 47 participants, Hanks said he found only four that needed to seek a more extensive amount of evaluation. Abusing alcohol regularly can lead to a driving under the influence (DUI) arrest, sexual assault, or academic failure, Hanks said. It can also affect mental efficiency, and it interferes with sleep.

“Although alcohol helps people to fall asleep, the quality of sleep is interfered,” Hanks said.

The screening was sponsored by Screening for Mental Health, a nonprofit organization. Its website, screeningformentalhealth.org, offers online testing to help users evaluate their drinking habits.

from page 1

Have an Opinion?

Let Us Know!

Send Letters to the Editor to USAVanguard.Editor@gmail.com

from page 3

Utility work for the new dining facility shut down a portion of Fraternity Row in between the Epsilon dorms and the Phi Mu house last week.

Piping is being installed underground for the chilled water line that will provide cooling for the new dining facility, according to Director of Facilities Management Chris Willis.

“We have a central utility plant that’s located behind the Archaeology building and we pump chilled water all over campus,” Willis said. “The nearest line to that is up on Stadium [Boulevard]. This contract is taking the lines from Stadium [Boulevard] down the hill, down the street to the new dining facility.”

Installation of the piping was scheduled to be completed by Sunday, according to a campus-wide e-mail.

“There are a lot of utilities on that street, and that’s why we hesitate to say anything is guaranteed,” Willis said. “If [the contractor] runs into a problem, it might take a little longer, but we expect him to be done by then.”

Road paving in that area and in the parking lot adjacent to the Epsilon dorms will be done at the same time, and the work should be done closer to the end of the semester, according to Willis.

The repaving will cause road closure in those areas for two days, according to a campus-wide e-mail.

The

Vanguard

April 19, 2010

News in Brief

USA Student Awarded Goldwater Scholarship

Mattson

USA student Kaila Mattson has been awarded the Barry M. Goldwater Scholarship and is the only recipient out of four USA students who applied for the award, according to Biomedical Sciences Professor and Goldwater Faculty Representative Dr.

Michael Spector.

Mattson, a junior at the University of South Alabama majoring in Chemistry with a minor in Business, and the other 2010 Goldwater Scholarship winners were selected from more than 1,100 Science, Engineering, and Mathematics students from the U.S. who qualified for the award because of academic merit. The scholarship was “established by Congress in 1986 to honor Senator Barry M. Goldwater, who served his country for 56 years as a soldier and statesman, including 30 years of service in the U.S. Senate,” according to the organization’s website.

Mattson is also the USA Tau Kappa Epsilon (TKE) fraternity’s 2010 TKE International Sweetheart scholarship.

She is part of the “Sweet Six,” or the six finalists chosen to possibly represent TKE “interfraternally” in the upcoming academic

5

Students Rally Against Violence

year, the fraternity’s national website reads.

SGA Attorney General Chosen Cameron Macon won the position of Attorney General after last week’s run-off against Devi Sampat.

Macon received 482 votes, or 57 percent.

Sampat received 358, or 43 percent.

Voter turnout for the runoff election Macon was significantly lower than during the general election. Only 840 students participated in the runoff, about 40 percent fewer than during the general election.

In the general election Macon was only three votes shy of securing a 51 percent majority in the three-way race.

The Attorney General is responsible for ensuring that all rules and laws of the SGA are adhered to, as well as organizing the University’s participation in the annual Higher Ed Day.

USA Offers Car Seat Checkup On Wednesday, April 21 from 7:30 a.m.-11 a.m., the Children’s and Women’s Hospital will provide a free checkup for all child car seats. The checkup will take place in the hospital’s front parking lot.

Daniela Werner / Managing Editor

On April 14, USA administrators and students rallied to raise awareness about violence by marching on campus. The march’s cause was focused on awareness about sexual violence toward women.

Marchers held signs like the one pictured above showing statistics and facts about sexual violence.

This march is one of several similar movements on campus in the past couple of weeks, because April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month.

The

Vanguard

6

Etc.

Greg Gulbranson Etc. Editor

huddledmass@gmail.com

April 19, 2010

Broadly Meaning: Safe Sex: Let’s Make it Happen Already THE SEX ISSUE: Not An Issue For Me

Greg Gulbranson

ETC EDITOR huddledmass@gmail.com

You may have noticed that the Etc. section in this edition of The Vanguard is chock full of sexy articles. From Katie Turner’s analysis of the term “hooking up” to Gabe Grimes’ discovery of a great new fragrance, we’ve got sex-themed goodness coming out our ears.

As such, I was forced (naturally) to write my column within that same theme.

Now for a rare look inside the patented and secret Gulbranson writing process: I usually begin by coming up with a title, to guide the writing process. My first instinct was to title this edition of Broadly Meaning “sex column,” but I was forced to rescind that idea for obvious reasons.

I also Googled “sex” to begin my research for this column.

That was also a bad idea for several thousand reasons that instantly popped up underneath the search bar.

I was forced to continue without performing any research.

Much like my blunders in writing an article about sex, my everyday life is full of mistakes and miscalculations dealing with sex and the words associated with it.

For example: apparently the expression “balls to the wall” can actually be more than just an idiom. I figured that when asked if you would like to go “balls to the wall,” the answer must surely be “yes.”

“Why yes, I would love to go balls to the wall, sir.”

I quickly learned that the answer should definitely be “no,” if you value either your walls or your balls.

I also learned that when asked what the capital of Thailand is, one should probably just walk away. The person who asked you means to do you harm.

I’m not saying that all words dealing with sex will result in genital damage, the true case of the matter is much to the contrary, in fact!

Mostly, in keeping with the mental profile of a fifth grader I surely possess, sexy jokes are usually the funniest.

Matthew Peterson is a master of these kinds of jokes. For example, if my roommate, Brad Turner, and I ever appear at a Vanguard function at the same time, surely we must have just, “come out of the closet,” or something equally hilarious!

Bravo!

While we all can’t draw on a vast well of natural comedic talent like Matthew Peterson, we can rely upon certain set forms to extract the humor out of any potentially boring situation.

The “that’s what she said,” form, recently repopularized by the NBC series, “The Office,” has certainly been a crowd pleaser.

Usually, in order to pull of a successful “TWSS,” one must listen closely to someone else speaking. When they say something that could possibly be construed as dealing with sex (the more obscure, the better) you instantly say “that’s what she said.” What fun!

Person 1: “Yeah, so he was going to take that huge rod and stuff it in there.”

Person 2: Says nothing. No, too obvious. Must. Wait.

Person 1: “It was a little too much cream for my taste.”

Person 2: Tempting, but remains silent.

Person 1: “My step dad was really good.”

Person 2: “THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!!!”

Note: Incest jokes are not funny to everyone, and must be used sparingly and with people you know well. Remember, rape is a crime in all 50 states.

BEWARE: never say “that’s what she said,” after something you’ve said yourself. If you do, it makes it obvious that you were trying to set up the joke yourself, thus making you a loser and not at all funny.

Well, OK, that’s my sex column!

Oh, you thought I actually might write about real life sex, instead of childish jokes loosely associated with it?

Ha. You don’t know me at all.

Greg Gulbranson

ETC EDITOR huddledmass@gmail.com

I know you’re all sick of hearing about “safe sex.”

I also know some of you insist there is no “safe sex,” but according to the numbers, most of you don’t care whether it’s safe or not.

There’s sex going on here at USA, and there’s nothing all the abstinence activism in the world can do about it.

So, preaching safe sex kind of makes sense.

Mobile County is known for having a very high rate of Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs).

In 2006 alone, 1 in 87 people in Mobile county came down with a new case of either syphilis, chlamydia, or gonorrhea.

That’s a lot. In fact, that rate is two times higher than in Washington D.C. and three times higher than New York City.

Mobile County is a place where sexual safety is of utmost importance.

I’ve heard many of the excuses for why a person wouldn’t Simon Reinert / Photo Editor use condoms (all from girls). “I don’t like them,” “they’re Etc. Editor Greg Gulbranson may be overestimating his own size, uncomfortable,” “I’m allergic to latex,” “can’t you just pull but at least he understands the power of the condom. out?”

You don’t like them? You must like herpes more.

Think he can pull off a successful pull-out? Do you have They’re uncomfortable? Being pregnant must be so any proof of this? much more comfortable.

In other words, please, please use condoms. I think I Allergic to latex? Don’t even worry about it. There are speak for the majority when I say that I don’t like living in both natural skin and polyurethane alternatives readily one of the most infected counties in the union. available.

So, in the words of your cool dad, "wrap it up son."

Sexy Sex Sex Sex Since this is a special sex-themed edition of The Vanguard’s Etc. Section, I decided to search The Vanguard’s online archives for the word “sex.”

The archives on our website only go back around 10 years, but I still unearthed plenty of interesting stuff … some Johnny Davis funny, some disturbing, COPY EDITOR and some just downright jdavis251@gmail.com ridiculous.

An article from Nov. 13, 2000, started out with this line: “They can be ribbed, colored or sleek and can protect you from illness, pregnancy and even death, but 27,000 of them slip or break each night.”

Now, I thought the author was referring to hot oil wrestlers, too, but she was actually talking about condoms. Apparently, the University of South Alabama Peer Educators, better known as the Sex Team, gave a presentation at Spring Hill College and condoms were somehow involved.

One of the passages from the article seemed very peculiar: “The team led the freshmen in a round of ‘Who’s sleeping in your bed?’ to show the effects of careless sex. The game began with a monogamous couple who decided to be tested for HIV. The couple stood on a sheet, which represented a bed. Each audience member was given a character’s name. As the sexual story of the couple’s past unfolded, each audience member ended up on the bed.

“‘We use this skit to show that you sleep with every person that your partner has ever slept with and every partner their partner has slept with,’ [a Sex Team all-star] said. ‘That is a lot of people.’ According to the team, the only way to ensure that you do not contract sexual infections of any kind is abstinence.”

An article from Dec. 4, 2000, included a sex reference that I just could not pass up. I don’t understand it because it’s either an inside joke or a reference to an article I’ve never read, but it’s noteworthy nonetheless: “I’ll start with grizzled Vanguard hack Mike Agagas. Mike is the funniest person I know. … Mike’s column is always good for a laugh or three. In fact, editing his column often saved me from pulling my hair out in frustration at the other columns I was editing. Yes, this column was often my savior when I was perilously close to getting trapped in the crappy writer abyss … but I still haven’t quite figured out (as a resident of the crappy writer abyss once wrote) what oral sex has to do with an all-you-can-eat buffet.”

On Feb. 12, 2001, the Sex Team was at it again. This time, they were sponsoring a variety of events to commemorate Sexual Responsibility Week. According to the article, the program included a “These Hands Don’t Hurt” quilt, a taste test, condom roses, and the Sex Team’s version of MTV’s “Loveline.”

I was almost afraid to read on and find out what kind of tastes they were testing, what a condom rose is, and how to make a Sex Team “These Hands Don’t Hurt” quilt, but for the sake of journalistic integrity, I braved on.

The article didn’t explain what a condom rose was, but it did say that students could buy one for a dollar if they forgot to buy their sweetheart a real rose.

It explained the taste test, “in which the student may or may not have something slipped into their drink.

This event is aimed to show how easily a drink can be drugged.”

It also explained the “These Hands Don’t Hurt” quilt.

Turns out it was for preventing domestic violence, and not anything dirty like I originally envisioned.

It’s kind of like the Sex Olympics that were mentioned in an article from Sept. 17, 2001. I’m not familiar with the Sex Olympics, but judging by the following excerpt, it sounds like something that should make a comeback on USA’s campus: “Making the program fun is why the sex team decided to call the event Sex Olympics. Sexual Jeopardy and racing to put condoms on bananas are just a few of the events scheduled.”

Where, oh where, have the Sex Olympics gone?

7

The

Vanguard

April 19, 2010

Hooking Up is Everywhere; Get Used to It

Katie Turner

flickr.com

These people could be either hooking up, making out, or exploding in passion, depending on how you define “hooking up.”

(perhaps after having too much to drink), a months-long ordeal, or just two friends that seek out sex from one another on occasion. There has to be no emotional ties and no commitment, therefore no unnecessary time spent away from school work or social life.

Another large factor in the unwillingness of students to engage in relationships is a callous attitude toward marriage, and there is no wonder why; according to the Centers for Disease Control, the divorce rate in 2009 was 3.5 per every 1,000 marriages and with nearly 2.2 million marriages yearly, those numbers are keeping divorce courts very busy.

Many students desire to get married eventually, but see HOOK UP, page 10

Tales Of Future Present: Gabe Grimes

Mobilizing the Scent of A Woman

STAFF WRITER gag701@jaguar1.usouthal.edu

Have you ever been walking around town, maybe sitting in Subway or driving along Airport Boulevard and said to yourself “Man, I could really go for the scent of a woman right now”?

Well, thanks to the good people at VivaEros, you no longer have to go without.

In the true spirit of Edison and Ford, this company has seen a void in today’s market and filled it. And what have they filled said void with? Something called VULVA Original, which is (very literally) the scent of a woman.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not the type of person who goes around sniffing bicycle seats ... which means I’m probably not part of this product’s target demographic. According to the website, this is not a perfume but “the feminine, erotic, intimate scent for your own smelling pleasure.”

That is, it’s a concentrated extract of the scent of a woman’s naughty bits. Her down-there naughty bits.

Yikes.

VULVA Original comes in a glass vial (or “phial,” as the website repeatedly calls it) with a roll-on applicator tip attached.

Whenever you’re in a situation that’s not quite weird enough, you simply apply a small amount to the back of your hand and voila! Perv-city. Clear out a crowded elevator, a crowded movie theater, or unnerve a Wal-Mart cashier.

A bargain at any price, the company is parting with it for only €25 (plus shipping, of course). The company’s website also has T-shirts and (presumably unworn) panties in a variety of sizes for sale, with an asking price of only €30 each (again, plus shipping).

I can understand a preoccupation with regular scents.

Thanksgiving just isn’t Thanksgiving without the smell of all kinds of foodstuffs coming from the kitchen, a movie theater really NEEDS to have that popcorn-and-fake-butter smell wafting through the lobby, and nothing says “beachi ni ikimasu” like the smell of coconut sunscreen.

There is, of course, a big difference between me (a guy that

Laura Beth Calcote

SENIOR REPORTER laurabethcalcote@gmail.com

STAFF WRITER asl662002@yahoo.com

“Hooking up” is a term with which every college student is familiar. It is also a term whose vagueness young people have become very comfortable with.

Meaning anything from kissing to sex, hooking up is a catch-all, normalizing phrase that has allowed young people a perceived reprieve from having to answer to the serious implications of promiscuity and casual sex.

Hooking up on USA’s campus is commonplace.

And while the point of this is neither to condone nor condemn the practice, it does seek to make readers aware that in the present generation, relationships have been affected by the casualness of sex. While it is very easy to hook up with someone – no strings attached – actually getting to know someone and investing time and effort into a relationship is much more difficult.

From a purely observational perspective, students at South do not seem to be opposed to having relationships, but are more concerned with the amount of time they require. Laura Sessions Stepp, a Washington Post journalist, whose research of sexual patterns of females at large universities resulted in her book “Unhooked,” made a point that makes a lot of sense: Hooking up is not so much what we as a collective are seeking. But, with the pressure to maintain good grades; take part in sports, extracurricular activities, and Greek life; have a part-time job and prepare for graduate school or a career, as one student interviewed put it, “I don’t have time to worry about a ‘we.’”

Commitment-free sex has seemingly been the best solution for many. Hooking up for our generation has taken an essential element of relationships, isolated it, and discarded the remains.

Hooking up with someone can be an isolated event

Survey: Sex at USA

vulva-original.com

That logo is definitely a suit jacket. Certainly not anything else.

It's probably to show how classy the product is.

likes to eat food and get burned at the beach) and the user of VULVA Original (a future sex offender registrant).

The knee-jerk reaction here is to want to ban this product.

After all, this is the kind of product that makes those of us who don’t own blow-up dolls or hand-held sexual devices a little squeamish.

VULVA Original, however, is something of a God-send, in that it will work to keep perverts where they belong: On the Internet in their parents’ basement. We can feel a little safer when we take our kids to the swing set, and women don’t have to worry about seeing greasy nose-prints smudged into their banana seats.

Feel free to check out the website: vulva-original.com. There’s nothing creepy about the website at all. Nope, just a video of a guy smelling some exercise equipment after a woman uses it.

Something that happens every day in gyms all across America, I’m sure.

Groucho Marx said it best when he said, “Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.” Gone are the days of lovers’ lane, courtship, holding hands, and kissing in the backseat. Sex seems to be more prevalent than ever.

High schoolers are doing it on the WB, housewives are doing it on Lifetime, and, apparently, South students are doing it all over campus.

“It is what it is. There’s just as much sex going on here as the two other schools I’ve attended. Maybe more,” one transfer student said.

One junior student said, whether entirely honestly or not, that he had gotten busy in three of the buildings on campus.

No matter your own personal beliefs, it has to be said that there’s sex going on. And lots of it. But what about the ones who are doing it safely?

Five questions were posed to 50 random students around campus this week, and their answers, while not shocking, help to shed some light on the issue at hand.

Be safe with your sex life. And don’t knock making out in the backseat … it’s classic for a reason.

The

Vanguard

8

Arts & Entertainment April 19, 2010

NOTHING SPECIAL:

It’s my Birthweek!

Bradley Turner

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR BradTurner88@gmail.com

Editor’s Note: I’d just like to remind you all that this is the penultimate “Nothing Special” (as if you weren’t counting down the days on your limited edition “Nothing Special Fangirl” calendar).

Hold your tears please, ladies! Hold your sighs of relief please, respectable

journalists!

I could write a book about how the cessation of Bradley’s column will inevitably lead to financial, existential, emotional, physical, and romantical ruin for The Vanguard, but instead, I’m going to urge you to read this VERY important column, about a VERY important current event.

As you should already know due to all the protesters outside of the White House last week, my birthday was last Sunday (April 18). That’s what halted all those flights in Europe.

(The volcano? Psshhh, George W. used his hurricane laser to

Simon Reinert / Photo Editor

A&E Editor Bradley Turner enjoying a refreshing, ice cold chocolate milk with his international fangirls, Sasha and Maria, on his birthday. Notice the look of contention and confidence on his face. Is he in his element, or is it just the chocolate milk talking?

set it off for my birthday. Try blowing those candles out!)

In case you’re one of the few people who didn’t know about my birthday (meaning you’re not my parents [meaning none of this applies to you because anyone who is “not my parents” would not read this column]), it’s going to be OK. I called up an old friend who happens to be the leader of the free world (I’m not going to name drop), and he has officially made this entire a week a national holiday in my honor.

So, it’s not too late to buy me that awesome life-sized Millennium Falcon, or to throw a huge soiree in my honor, complete with a laser-tag moon-walk castle and a performance by Jay-Z. Or if you’re an attractive fangirl (because having hot fangirls is the one aspect of my column that isn’t a complete lie) you could just take me out to dinner.

Not because I’m desperate or anything. I’m doing this for YOU, not me.

(Seriously though, I’m kidding … kind of.)

Anyways, since birthdays are all about getting whatever it is that you want, regardless of the absurdity/impracticality/impossibility of said desire, I thought I’d share my one true birthday wish with you, my closest (and only) friends: I wish that they would quit playing that Jason Mraz song on the radio.

Yeah, you know the one. “I won’t hesitate, no more, I’m yours” blah blah blah, [insert mushy lyrics here].

Sure, it’s probably a great four-chorder to learn on your guitar and play for your girlfriend, but seriously, that song has been out for like three years now.

I’d honestly rather hear “Banana Pancakes” at this point.

And to make things worse, now they play Train’s cover of the song (“Hey Soul Sister”) even more than they do the original Jason Mraz version.

Oh, wait. They actually pretend like those are two separate see BIRTHWEEK, page 9

Bradley Turner A & E Editor btt601@jaguar1. usouthal.edu

City’s First Drink and Draw a Success Daniela Werner

MANAGING EDITOR danielawerner87@gmail.com

Amateur and professional artists gathered at Serda’s Coffee Company in downtown Mobile April 16 for Mobile’s first Drink and Draw to sketch anything and anyone around the café.

Drink and Draw was first suggested by Caleb Morris, a USA student and artist who borrowed the idea from some Los Angeles artists who began getting groups of people together to sketch parts of their communities, an event they called SketchCrawl, according to a Mobile Arts Council (MAC) press release. The resulting sketches are posted online.

Similarly, Morris and MAC have held two Crawls in Mobile since last October. Drink and Draw is a spin-off of Crawls in that people get together and enjoy beverages (alcoholic or not) and just sketch. “[Drink and Draw is] more about people getting together and having a good time and bouncing ideas off of each other,” Morris said. “The regular SketchCrawls have been more about drawing what’s around you; with Drink and Draw, you can draw anything you want.”

By 7:30 this past Friday night, Drink and Draw had already attracted a dozen or so participants sketching in the open, laidback atmosphere Serda’s is known for.

“It’s cool to bring people to places they may not think to sit down [in] and sketch,” Charlie Smoke, MAC associate director, said.

All levels of sketching experience are encouraged to attend Drink and Draw, which will be held at different venues so that varying types of sketches of Mobile can be uploaded to mobilesketchcrawl.com.

Looking up from his own sketches, a couple of doodles at first glance, Smoke smiled and said, “You don’t have

Daniela Werner / Managing Editor

On April 16, professional and amateur artists gathered to sketch things and people they saw in Serda's Coffee Company on Royal Street. A dozen or so participants attended, and the sketches are going to be posted at mobilesketchcrawl.com.

to be an artist with grandiose ideas of yourself [to participate].”

Satomi Kamei, a local artist who specializes in water color paintings, said she enjoyed meeting the other people at Drink and Draw. Kamei sketched an image of a young lady who was studying at a nearby table.

Across from Kamei sat Jean-Marie Lee, another local artist with a penchant for oil paints who said she was also see DRINK AND DRAW, page 10

This Week in GEEk Greg Gulbranson

ETC EDITOR huddledmass@gmail.com

‘Tetris’ Will Ruin Your Life My articles are late, I haven’t done homework in weeks, and my social life has imploded into a little crunched up sopping wet ball of toilet paper in a puddle outside a Chinese restaurant.

What is the cause of my horrible lapse in life? What’s keeping me from being productive at all?

“Tetris.”

It’s not called “Russian Coke,” for nothing. It’s a real, serious, addictive problem that has caused collapse after

collapse in many lives.

Created in 1984 by Alexey Pazhitnov, “Tetris” was one of the original puzzle video games. It uses tetrominoes, blocks with four square sections arranged into different shapes.

These blocks haunt me.

“My old roommate had a Tetris addiction once,” Adam Moore, freshman at USA, said after I mentioned my problem to him.

“How did he get over it?” I asked.

“He dropped out of school. He works in a steel mill now,” he answered, much to my chagrin.

That’s just what I was hoping not to hear.

“Tetris” use can come from multiple delivery systems. My personal choice is the Nester NES emulator for the PC. I play the NES version of Tetris relentlessly.

However, Tetris is available on every computer platform in

freshome.com

When you look at this apartment building, do you see "tetrominoes" ("Tetris" blocks)? If so, you may have a "Tetris" addiction.

It's half as glamorous and three times as geeky as Tiger Woods' addiction.

existence, and is coded in almost every computer language. It can be played on your browser or downloaded.

“Tetris” is everywhere.

Researchers have named haunting images in your sleep, dreams, and subconscious from any habitual visual stimuli “The Tetris Effect.” The term can apply to anything from flipping burgers to driving long distances, and I can tell you that it is very, very real.

In fact, those with anterograde amnesia (when one cannot remember any recent activities) report dreaming of falling shapes after spending the day playing “Tetris,” even when they have no memory of ever playing the game at all.

“The Tetris Effect” has strange consequences for me, as well. As I look at cars in parking lots, I think about how they see GEEK, page 9

9 Riotous ‘Mikado’ Packs Out House It’s Not Too Late!

April 19, 2010

The

Vanguard

You can still get your band featured on The Vanguard’s first ever sampler playlist/mixtape, which will be available for download at usavanguard.com starting on April 26.

E-mail BradTurner88@gmail.com ASAP for details.

Geek

from page 8

Daniela Werner / Managing Editor

With a full orchestra and beautiful costumes, USA Opera Theatre presented "The Mikado" this past Friday and Sunday to a packed house. Some of the operetta's lyrics were re-written by the ensemble's director and conductor, Assistant Professor of Music Dr. Thomas Rowell, to poke fun at a few recent subjects of scrutiny, like OctoMom and Mobile's own former Judge Herman Thomas. The singers' and musicians' energy was contagious, and the audience didn't hesitate to burst into laughter on several occasions.

On a Scale of One to ‘Roadhouse’: 5 Sequels That Should Have Been Made

Kris Skoda

STAFF WRITER toweliewantstogethigh@hotmail.com

Less than 2 percent of movies that come out of Hollywood today are completely original, first time ever scripts. Alright, I just made that percentage up, but really think about it.

Most films are sequels, prequels, remakes, TV show/videogame adaptations, or book adaptations.

The majority of these are never as good as their source material, and some are just disappointments of epic proportions. With this in mind, I present you with five sequels that actually should be made.

Honorable mention simply because I want more velociraptor mayhem: “Jurassic Park 4: Pissed Off, Confused Dinosaurs in Space.”

5) “Zombieland 2” I considered listing “Evil Dead 4” or another Romero zombie flick, but I honestly think this is the zombie story I’d rather see continued. The ending of “Zombieland” was left pretty wide open for another chapter of the story to be told or even for a completely different story involving a different group of survivors. The hard part will be having a cameo that tops Bill Murray’s, which leads me to my next pick.

4) “Ghostbusters 3” This idea has actually been tossed around Hollywood for quite some time. There could even be a screenplay that may or may not have been written by Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis (Ray and Egon in “Ghostbusters”) floating around out there.

I also read some Internet talk about having the premise be that the original cast is training their replacements. The names I read that were being considered were Seth Rogen, Steve Carell, Paul Rudd, and Craig Robinson.

Too good to be true? We shall see.

3) “Bad Boys 3” I have a love-hate relationship with Michael Bay. He’s just about as generic a filmmaker as you can name. He uses the same shots and super contrast-y style in every flick.

I’ll be damned though if “Bad Boys 2” isn’t one of my favorite films of all time. Will Smith and Martin Lawrence are at their all time best, the script is decent, and the ad-libs are great. I’m honestly surprised there hasn’t been a sequel yet, but IMDb says there isn’t even one in sight.

2) “Tenacious 3D” Yes. All the laughs of the original except now more gimmicks and guts in your face. Skip “Tenacious D: Part Deux” and take it straight to the three and the D. 1) “Serenity 2: The Little Show that Could” For those that aren’t hardcore Joss Whedon fans, here’s the story. Whedon (“Buffy,” “Dollhouse,” “Angel,” and the script for “Toy Story”) had what can only be described as a sci-fi/western show on FOX some years ago called “Firefly.”

It didn’t even make it through the first season before it was cancelled.

The fan outcry was apparently huge, because FOX said, “Hey, you know what, go ahead and make a movie.”

“Serenity” was the movie, and it was awesome. What I want is for a super badass sequel to be made so that there can be more sequels and Lucas can stop making “Star Wars” flicks.

Don’t forget folks, the second DCWF Film Scramble is April 23 - 25, so lets make it huge! [Insert over-played joke you stole from “The Office” here]! Meet at the Blind Mule at 6 p.m. on April 23 to sign up and get details.

can be flipped and stacked on top of each other filling up every available space.

As I sit in the cafeteria, I have a strange desire to flip chairs upside down and stack them, seat to seat. As any seasoned “Tetris” addict knows, the obsession to fill every available space is of the utmost importance. You don’t want to get a stick piece and end up not getting a four-line combo, right?

Right?!

As I try to sleep, I play games of “Tetris” in my mind. I don’t just see falling shapes; I play entire games.

While I am impressed that I can mentally keep track of a full Tetris board and produce random shapes to deal with, it is rather alarming to think of how it is dominating my subconscious.

Why can’t I think of anything else? Why would I rather play “Tetris” than eat, sleep, or bathe?

And worse, while doing research for this article, I stumbled upon a 3D version of “Tetris,” where you have to place blocks in three dimensions, filling a line across both ways.

I am currently downloading it.

When will it ever end? Will it end? Am I doomed to work in a steel mill?

See the answers to these questions and more as my life continues to spiral out of control every day, every moment, every station.

(Maybe The Vanguard could send me to a fancy rehab clinic out west, the way some major airlines do for their drugaddicted pilots?)

Birthweek from page 8

songs?

All I’m asking is, pick one or the other (or neither). But please, not both of them.

Why not just quit listening to the radio? Because that’s part of my job. I don’t get a six figure salary, a penthouse suite on top of the bell tower (hold the Quasimodo jokes please), and a hover craft with a chauffeur all to just occasionally pop into the Vanguard’s office and force out a weekly column, usually past my deadline.

So, please, pop-music czar, whoever you are, do this one thing for me, and I won’t hesitate no more, no more, (it cannot wait) to … not write another column attacking that song?

That’s all it would take to make this the perfect birth week.

Well, that or waking up in the middle of the night to Natalie Portman throwing rocks at my window so that that she can tell me can’t sleep because she’s been trying to hide her feelings for me out of fear that I was out of her league, but she just can’t take it anymore. Your call.

10

The

Vanguard

Grant

Drink and Draw

Hook Up

Administered by the Office of the National Coordinator for Health Information Technology, the grant was given to 59 other non-profit organizations across the country.

In accordance with the national goal of training primary care providers to use EHR, USA’s ALREC will collaborate with other RECs across the U.S. “to provide outreach and support services to at least 100,000 priority primary care providers over the next two years,” according to the press release.

“It is it is gratifying that USA is now able to play a lead role in the national initiative toward better management of medical records, which will enhance health care and enable countless people to live longer, healthier lives,” USA President Gordon Moulton said in the press release.

enjoying Mobile’s first Drink and Draw.

“If someone would Facebook this [event], people would come,” Lee said.

Native Mobilian Charles Washington, who called drawing a “cathartic experience,” said he got a good vibe Friday night and liked Drink and Draw’s way of bringing “like-minded individuals” together to hang out.

“It’s a very relaxing experience,” he said.

For more information about Mobile’s next Sketch Crawl and Drink and Draw, call MAC at 251432-9796 ext. 11.

to look at hooking up versus marriage today, it is easy to see why students are gravitating toward hooking up.

However, will we be able to find happiness if we limit ourselves to just the physical aspects of a relationship? As one Duke professor asked, “How do you go from hooking up to wedding vows?”

The appeal of hooking up is widespread; there is someone to rely on for, if nothing else, sex. And there is the freedom to seek out someone else if you want. There is a limited time commitment involved, so it is not as much of a distraction from school and friends.

We can cite that the “judgmental” adults who condemn hooking up were our age in the midst of the Woodstock era and the so-called “sexual revolution,” and hey, they turned out OK. And we can also cite that teen pregnancy rates have been in a steady decline since 1990.

However, we cannot deny that hooking up is affecting how we view and engage in relationships. The United States currently has the highest rate of sexually transmitted diseases among developed nations, which is certainly a cause for concern.

We are a generation of cynics, reflected by the average marriage age steadily rising. Many are choosing careers over love and many more are unconfident in their ability to even find love. Perhaps relationships will change to better conform to the desires of our generation, or perhaps we are training ourselves to better appreciate commitment when it does find us; regardless, none of us can deny we are being affected by that small two-word phrase with big implications.

from page 3

from page 8

from page 7

April 19, 2010

Get Your Opinion Published!

Send Letters to the Editor to USAVanguard.

Editor@gmail.com

Sports

Matt Weaver Sports Editor jmatthewweaver@aol.co.uk

The Players’ Lounge

The

Vanguard

11

April 19, 2010

Stars Turn Out for Aaron Museum

The Players’ Lounge will be a semiannual first-hand look at Jaguar athletics through the eyes of those who live it. This week features South Alabama women’s soccer goaltender and Vanguard contributor Kaitlyn Thacker. Kaitlyn can be reached at kdt901@jaguar1.usouthal.edu.

Should the NCAA Eliminate Spring Soccer?

NCAA women’s soccer takes place during the fall but not exclusively. Each squad is allowed 18 regular season match-ups in addition to any playoff games a team makes it to.

Though there is not technically a spring season, the NCAA does allow each team to play a maximum of five games throughout the spring.

However, there is talk of all spring games being eliminated.

As a current soccer player, I am completely against this idea. At South Alabama, we Jags train from the beginning of the spring up until the week before finals. We are in the weight room three days a week and up at 6 a.m.

We’re on the field training four afternoons a week, and it’s hard enough to stay focused as it is.

South Alabama only played two spring games in 2010 and eliminating them would have a tremendous impact on our team’s motivation.

By doing away with spring games, I believe us players will lose their motivation to train hard for the fall when the games really count.

Going into the weight room at 6 a.m. is hard enough, but knowing that the work will not pay off until up to six months later is absolutely disheartening.

As an athlete, competition is what drives us. We work to make ourselves stronger, faster, and absolutely better than our competition. Everything that we do is centered around making ourselves, individually and as a team, better than our competition dares to be.

If the NCAA chooses to eliminate spring matches from the soccer schedule, there will be a negative impact on teams throughout the nation.

As discussed above, it is going to be much tougher for players to give it their all during training sessions when their goal is so far away.

Also, recruiting visits during the spring will be rendered pointless. Possible recruits can no longer watch prospective universities play, an underrated factor in the overall recruitment process.

Overall, I see absolutely no point in the NCAA not allowing teams to play off-season games, nor do I see any positive influence it could have on the program.

Athletes, by our very nature want to compete, and we will do so regardless of NCAA-sanctioned contests. Why take that away from us?

Photos by Johnny Davis / Copy Editor, Collage by Simon Reinert / Photo Editor

On April 14, the Mobile BayBears held the grand opening of the Hank Aaron Childhood Home and Museum. Several baseball legends attended the celebration, including seven Hall of Famers: Hank Aaron, Willie Mays, Reggie Jackson, Ozzie Smith, Rickey Henderson, Bruce Sutter, and Bob Feller.

Also in attendance were Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig and USA alum Luis Gonzalez. Pictured, starting from top left - the crowd gathers outside the stadium; top middle left - Aaron waves to the crowd; top middle right - two of the greatest of all-time, Jackson and Aaron; top right - Mays sports a BayBears' cap; bottom right - Gonzalez smiles for the camera; bottom right middle - Smith, Jackson, Selig, Sutter, Feller, and Henderson sit together; middle - Smith and Henderson enjoy a laugh; bottom middle left - outside the stadium; bottom left - the home/museum.

Erdmann: Still No Plans For Stadium USA AD confirms Edward Waters football game to be played in Dothan.

James Guess

SPORTS REPORTER jdg505@jaguar1.usouthal.edu

When South Alabama took its first steps as a football program, one of the most-talked-about possibilities among fans and students was the possibility of an on-campus football facility.

One season later, it remains just a possibility.

Dr. Joel Erdmann, athletic director at the University of South Alabama, said, “Obviously, having a stadium on our campus is something that everybody wants; however, there are no plans for an on-campus football stadium.”

Despite shooting down the rumors of current plans, Erdmann didn’t paint an entirely grim picture for the possibility of a future on-campus stadium.

“There are many benefits from having a stadium on campus, and the topic is certainly very open for discussion,” Erdmann said.

The Jags currently play their home football games at Ladd-Peebles Stadium, and Erdmann believes that suits the program just fine right now.

“Ladd-Peebles Stadium gives us instant credibility and recognition, playing in the home of the Senior Bowl and GMAC Bowl,” Erdmann said. “Ladd-Peebles and the city of Mobile have been very supportive of us. Consider that the stadium is centrally located for those coming from west Mobile and across the bay, and Ladd is certainly a great fit for us right now.”

laddpeeblesstadium.com

Ladd-Peebles Stadium is the home of South Alabama football and the Senior Bowl game. University officials continue to discount rumors of an on-campus stadium.

Site for Football Game vs. Edward Waters Decided Despite plans being made to play in Jacksonville, Fla., Edward Waters College has taken steps to change the location for its Sept. 25 game against South Alabama.

Erdmann explained that it was Edward Waters’ decision.

“After agreeing to our initial contract, Edward Waters contacted us about moving the game from Jacksonville to Dothan,” Erdmann said. “The home team owns the contract, so Edward Waters has the final say in where that game is played.

“So while they have not altered our official contract, there has been a verbal agree-

ment between our schools.”

USA admins see a lot of marketing chances in Dothan, and Erdmann said they support Edward Waters’ decision.

“We’re going to do our best in marketing the game to Dothan,” Erdmann said. “We have a lot of alumni there.”

South Alabama also plans on encouraging local fans to make the short trip to Dothan.

“We’re also considering the use of fan shuttle busses for the game to further encourage fans and students to make the trip,” Erdmann said.

The game will be USA football’s first road contest in the program’s history.

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Vanguard USA Football

Sports Briefs

USA Head Coach Remembers USFL Career

Matt Weaver

Atlanta to play for the Falcons.

VG: Did you know about the New USFL? CJJ: No I didn’t. That’s very interesting.

Spring football is a good concept since people enjoy football all year around. I’ll tell you this, it’ll work as long as the new league keeps salaries down and stays in the spring. The old league never should have failed.

SPORTS EDITOR jmatthewweaver@aol.com

On April 4, The Vanguard reported that the New USFL has intentions of relaunching its former Birmingham franchise in time to play in the spring of 2011.

South Alabama head coach Joey Jones is an alumnus of the Birmingham Stallions and The Vanguard’s Sports Section recently caught up with Jones to discuss his USFL career and his thoughts on the new spring league succeeding.

The Vanguard: Hi coach, thanks for spending some of your time with us. Could you talk about how you ended up in the USFL? Joey Jones: Sure. I left the University of Alabama, graduated in 1984 and had two options – take my chances in the NFL Draft or go into this new spring league, the USFL, and play immediately. I chose the latter and ended up with the Birmingham Stallions.

VG: What was the atmosphere like for spring football?

CJJ: I really enjoyed my time in Birmingham. The league was a huge success in Birmingham, and we played in front of 30-40,000 every home game. It was a really spirited crowd, especially when you consider how popular football is in the South. Short of college spring games, we were the only thing going and those fans really got behind it.

VG: What about your coaches and the athletic staff – any standouts?

CJJ: Oh yeah, look up a coach named Rollie Dotsch, who was the head coach of

birminghamprosports.com

Birmingham Stallions wide receivers Sam Smith (86) and Joey Jones (4) against the New Jersey Generals during the 1984 USFL season.

the Stallions during my time there. He was the former Super-Bowl-winning offensive coordinator with the Pittsburgh Steelers.

He is still one of the best coaches I have ever been around. He was well-respected and we played hard for him.

VG: What ultimately killed the USFL? CJJ: Well, Donald Trump decided to take us to court and had us fighting the NFL. He insisted on us competing with them and that just wasn’t going to happen right away.

When our league was going good – it was real good. But when it started to go bad – it just fell apart.

And when it did fall apart, we felt that we had lost something really special. It was after the league closed that I went on to

It’s important to point out that Jones noted the importance of playing in the spring. Jones emphasized avoiding a salary war with the NFL and playing in markets without NFL franchises.

He and many others feel that should the New USFL do so, Jones will not be the last of his kind – a true and proud USFL alum.

Jones best known for USFL Tenure Before signing with the University of South Alabama, Jones may be best remembered for his USFL career.

Jones is still considered one of the top-five all-time University of Alabama wide receivers and was highly sought after graduating.

Jones is remembered for making spectacular catches that defied gravity and defined putting one’s body on the line.

Jones is frequently highlighted in USFL stock footage for an amazing catch on May 27, 1985, when he connected with QB Cliff Stoudt on a 50-yard touchdown that was caught parallel to the goal line.

That game was against the Orlando Renegades, and the Stallions won it, 30-10.

NBA Playoffs Preview

LeBron, Kobe Headline 2010 Tournament

Jayson Curry

SPORTS REPORTER jayson-curry@hotmail.com

Eastern Conference In 2010, the Cleveland Cavaliers entered the NBA Playoffs as the league’s No. 1 seed within the Eastern Conference. Behind several new-look teammates, LeBron James averaged 29.7 points, 8.6 assists, and 7.3 rebounds per game.

Behind the league’s reigning MVP, James paced Cleveland to a 61-21 record, two games over second-seeded Orlando.

James will lead Cleveland against Derrick Rose and the Chicago Bulls, and most expect a quick Cleveland series win. Cleveland overcomes Chicago’s athleticism and win in five.

Dwight Howard leads the No. 2 seeded Orlando Magic against the Charlotte Bobcats. Superman has been on a mission as Howard led the league in rebounds, blocks, field goals, and double-doubles.

Unless Charlotte can convince team owner Michael Jordan to suit up, expect a clean series sweep over the Bobcats.

Atlanta and Milwaukee may have the most interesting match-up. The Hawks placed third in the east but have the highly underrated Joe Johnson. The Bucks have been highly improved since trading for John Salmons. This contest

could swing either way but smart money goes to Atlanta.

The Boston Celtics have been among the NBA’s elite over the past three seasons, but their window is coming to a close.

The Big Three have looked more like the Old Three in 2010 and it doesn’t get easier against the fourth-seeded Miami Heat in their first round series.

Dwyane Wade continues to lead Miami, contributing 26.6 points and 6.5 assists per game. The Miami/Boston series should be the first round’s most competitive. The Heat will win in seven games.

Western Conference The defending champion Los Angeles Lakers come into the 2010 playoffs as the No. 1 seed in the West.

Future hall-of-famer Kobe Bryant is going for his fifth championship ring and hasn’t held back during the 2009-10 season.

Bryant averaged 27 points per game and added five assists per game.

The Lakers will face Kevin Durant and the Oklahoma City Thunder in the first round of the 2010 tournament.

Durant finished the season as the youngest scoring leader in the history

April 19, 2010

of the NBA, averaging 30.1 points and pulling down 7.6 rebounds per game. The Thunder also start Russell Westbrook, one of the games youngest and brightest stars. Regardless, the Lakers win in six.

The Mavericks and Spirs face off in the two-vs.-seven series and most are leaning toward Dallas.

And why not? With Dirk Nowitzki, Caron Butler and Brendan Haywood, Dallas may have enough to challenge for the NBA Championship. The Mavs win this one in six.

The new-look Phoenix Suns enter the playoffs on a hot streak. Phoenix has one of the league’s better veteran lineups with Steve Nash at the point. Nash led the league in assists while also contributing 16.5 points per game.

Amare Stoudemire is the perfect complement to Nash and no team plays the fast break like Phoenix.

Their opponents, the Portland Trailblazers, don’t have a shot. Phoenix sweeps the series.

The last Western series is Denver and Utah and both teams enter the series with the same record. Denver is led by Carmelo Anthony and Utah by Carlos Boozer. Both stars are capable of taking over the series.

Anthony wins this battle and Denver advances in seven.

Softball Drops Doubleheader to SBC-Leading ULL The University of South Alabama softball team dropped both games of its Sun Belt Conference doubleheader Saturday afternoon versus LouisianaLafayette at Lansom Park, falling 9-0 in five innings in the opener and 4-3 in the second game of the day.

In the opener, Beth Pilgrim (12-9) took the loss, allowing nine runs on eight hits and striking out two.

Brittany Cuevas (13-8) earned the win in five innings, holding USA to two hits and striking out two.

In the second game of the doubleheader, the Jags rallied to tie the game 3-3 but fell short on a two-out single in the seventh.

Brittany Fowler led the Jags offense, going two-for-three at the plate with an RBI. With the losses, the Lady Jags fell to 18-18 and 5-7 in the conference, while ULL improved to 26-14 and 7-3 in league play.

Tirop Places Ninth in Mt. SAC Relay Invitational University of South Alabama distance runner Micah Tirop recorded a top-10 finish in the men’s invitational 10,000 meters at the Mt. SAC Relays Thursday at Hilmer Lodge Stadium.

Tirop finished fifth among collegiate runners and ninth overall out of 24 competitors in the 10,000 meters with a personal-best time of 29:18.86.

The senior’s time is currently ranked first in the Sun Belt Conference in the event by over a minute. Tirop also qualified for the first round of the NCAA Nationals with the time.

Basketball Signs Rico Sanders to Letter of Intent Rico Sanders has signed a National Letter of Intent to play men’s basketball for the University of South Alabama for the 2010-11 season, head coach Ronnie Arrow announced over the weekend.

“What we’ve added to the program with Rico is a quality 3-point shooter,” said Arrow. “He’ll add a dimension that we really didn’t have this year besides Tim [Williams] and Bryan [Sherrer].

He will give us a pinpoint 3-point shooter that will be able to keep inside defenses honest.”

Sanders, currently a freshman at Alabama Southern Community College in Monroeville, Ala., will have three years of eligibility remaining.

Baseball Falls to ULM, Win Series Anyway Louisiana-Monroe scored 11 runs in the final two innings to avoid a sweep and knocked off South Alabama baseball 17-8 Sunday afternoon at Stanky Field.

Despite the loss, South Alabama won the series 2-1 with wins on Friday night and Saturday afternoon respectively.

USA (26-15, 13-5 SBC) takes the work week off before returning to action next weekend at Arkansas State.

-Wire Reports

April 19, 2010

The

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Opinion

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Alex Whalen Opinion Editor alexwhalen@gmail.com

April 19, 2010

O U R

V I E W

A Lesson From Greece

Excited About Prospects of Construction

N

ew construction is happening in three corners of our campus. A new gigantic recreation center, a new Engineering and Computer Sciences building, and a new dining hall are all in progress. The new bell tower is virtually finished, and last year saw the completion of the impressive and beautiful new Allied Health building.

Replacing trees with buildings may have some students concerned, but we here at the Vanguard see the construction as a good thing. It’s not only expanding the University but improving its image as well.

One Vanguard staffer recalls that, before he ever considered coming to USA, a friend of his had visited the campus and remarked “It’s almost like a real college. I was surprised.”

The fact is, that many graduating high school students are unaware of the opportunities available at USA. Like that staffer did, they have no idea that USA is a “real college.”

Building newer, better, bigger, and more buildings will help to change the perception that USA is an irrelevant university. Many graduating high school students equate size with quality; it’s an unfortunate result of our “upsizing” cultural perspective. A bigger, more robust campus with impressive buildings will help sell USA as a premiere university to prospective students.

As the University grows, it can only serve to better enrich the city of Mobile, as well. USA, combined with its medical institutions is already the largest

Tilting at Windmills

By Matthew Peterson

Football ‘Travel’

University athletic programs sometimes draw criticism for the way they spend money at away games, staying at fancy hotels, eating out at expensive restaurants, and the like. It often goes unmentioned, though, that these same expenses apply to football teams when they’re playing at home.

Even though they played all of their games at home, USA’s first-year football team spent more than $76,000 on hotel rooms, food, and travel for the team during the season, according to documents from the Athletic Department. The players stayed at the elegant Battle House hotel and dined in style the night before the games, all on our dime.

The Athletic Department, however, didn’t spend more than they had to, with two players staying in each of the $99 rooms and total meals averaging $54 per player per weekend, which included three meals and a “snack.”

These are reasonable prices for rooms and food, but why is it necessary?

According to Athletic Director Dr. Joel Erdmann, having the team stay together before the games lets them concentrate on preparing, focusing for a high-intensity game the next day. Getting them away from campus

employer in the city. If the new buildings really do attract more students, it will mean more jobs for the community and more exposure to those students who hail from out-of-town.

While we here at The Vanguard will mourn the loss of some green space, it really is a necessary evil.

Just think: more students means more revenue.

More revenue means better equipment and facilities. Better equipment and facilities will attract better staff. Better staff, equipment, and facilities means better educational quality for students.

A public university like USA cannot thrive as a small, cloistered, selective, and high cost institution.

In the end, the new construction results in a win-win for community and students.

While there has been a fuss over the cost of the new football team, the addition of new buildings devoted to academics (Allied Health and Engineering) and student quality of life (Recreation Center and Dining Hall) shows that the administration is committed to expanding the University in all areas, not just athletics.

We think it will not only serve to better attract more students, but as alumni begin to see their almamater mentioned more and more as a big, relevant university, it will fill their cold, lifeless working hearts with pride. From small beginnings can come great things.

One day, when you mention that you went to the University of South Alabama, it will elicit a response other than “oh, where is that again?” prevents the team from getting distracted the night before those games.

Not only that, but the practice is almost universal.

Erdmann said he couldn’t think of a school that didn’t put their teams up in hotel rooms even before home games, so the University of South Alabama’s new team would be at a severe disadvantage if it didn’t do likewise.

Everyone wants our new football team to be successful, me included, but when do we begin spending too much to achieve that?

USA’s academic departments are going through deep budget cuts, and the football team is traveling in style to home games. To say the least, it doesn’t do much to soothe the overworked faculty that the Athletic Department shells out that much to make sure their football players are focused before the big game.

Everywhere you turn, academics is being denied legitimate funding, yet football spent more than $76,000 to make sure the players can “create a calm and quiet atmosphere” to prepare for the next day’s game.

Granted, football’s funding comes from a completely different source from academics. Football draws the bulk of its money from the $300 per year student activity fee, so cutting down on football expenses wouldn’t help the academic budget.

But this doesn’t make matters much more comforting.

Student scholarships are getting cut, our programs are being downsized, and our tuition is steadily rising.

Yet football pays for hotels for home games.

The saddest part, though, is how widespread this practice is. It may make sense for large programs with superstar players and 100,000-seat stadiums, but it doesn’t seem to have much of a purpose for teams in mid-major (and that’s being generous) conferences like ours. see TRAVEL, page 19

Commentators in Europe, England, and the United States are all espousing the lessons and correlations to be made from the financial crisis in Greece. The lessons are sobering and serve to heighten the intensity or our own situation here at home.

In short, the dilemma is this: Greece is staring national insolvency in the face, and the collapse of Greece could cause an enormous domino effect within the Tory nations that use the Euro for their curAlbertson rency, known as the Eurozone.

Historically speaking this would be the first case of insolvency within the Eurozone since its inception in 1999. Because this is a shared currency between 16 of the 27 nations in the European Union, at risk is the value and strength of the Eurozone’s currency.

Although Greece’s collapse would be significant, it is the collateral damage that is generating the most concern. If Greece goes, then there is a significant chance Italy, Portugal, Spain, and Ireland may follow suit (not necessarily in that order). These nations are collectively referred to as PIIGS. Greece, as a country, has a notorious history of extravagant spending; many economists cite this as the primary source for Greece’s current economic situation.

Since being within the Eurozone she has only once been able to abide by its financial statutes. The government debt is about 113 percent of gross domestic product (GDP).

To compound their situation, growth is negative, market interest rates incurred are now 7 percent, and their overall debt is estimated at €300 billion ($408 billion).

Ultimately, the issue is one of balance, but not of the check book per se. Instead the balance is between economic growth (GDP) and national budget deficits. As long as the deficit stays low, say 2 percent or less, there is a good chance that overall debt will slowly, but steadily decrease.

If, however, that percentage is higher, 3.6 percent or more, then the debt will grow more quickly than the economy (which is considered healthy at 3 percent growth). Greece’s deficit is 12.7 percent.

Now look to our side of the pond. The United States as a whole has an overall debt-to-GDP ratio of 62.3 percent.

N. Gregory Mankiw of the New York Times projects that by 2020 we will be looking at a ratio of 77.2 percent. This is assuming our economy steadily grows at a rate of 2.1 -2.4 percent, an estimate he considers optimistic.

If the economic growth of the U.S. is less than projected, then our debt to GDP ratio will be significantly higher. The way things are going it would seem that our future could be looking a bit like that of Greece: dismal and desperate.

The status quo and perceptions of strength (not actual strength) are being protected. I am not ignoring the difficulty of doing this, but would it not be better to seek true financial sustainability? What goes out is limited by what comes in.

Then the question would not be one of appearances and perceptions, but the fact of the matter and real value.

debtdeflation.com

This graphs shows US debt compared to its Gross Domestic Product (GDP). There are many more factors at play here, but essentially the closer the lighter solid line gets to the dotted line, the more trouble our economy will be in. Greece’s situation gives us a window into this possible future.

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April 19, 2010

POINT COUNTERPOINT Should Online Purchases Be Taxed?

Editor’s Introduction: Nobody really wants to pay taxes, but as online commerce increases, states and municipalities are missing out on sales tax they would have gotten. Tax laws could never have anticipated such economic growth in these kinds of businesses – many of which don’t even have a physical location. There are

A Necessary Evil

Many students use online do not know to do it or simply commerce as a convenient way to choose not to for understandable purchase goods. In fact, buying budget reasons. textbooks online is far cheaper It is for this reason that it than store purchases, with the would be simpler and more bencatch being that you need to allow eficial to our state if it was just time for shipping. With everything collected at the time of purchase. from personal hygiene products State taxes are used for educato shoes and novelty items on the tion, roads and infrastructure, Web, online commerce is at its police and fire departments, and highest volume ever. parks, among other such avenues, Cassie When many of us walk into a thus making them crucial to our Fambro store or restaurant, we expect to very way of life. be charged a percentage of our I have seen people stand on purchases that is then put toward “principle” and picket an adtax. In Mississippi, it’s 7 percent, so most ditional 2 percent tax on restaurants that of us just double it and add a bit to deterwould go directly to public schools. I do mine a tip. Here in Mobile, 9 percent is not understand the “principle” of standing the norm. up for something that hurts the commuOnline, one doesn’t have to pay tax on nity, the future, and the state as a whole. goods bought. Ever since online comThose who protest those types of taxes demerce has bloomed, states have been mand that there must be some other way itching to get to some of the money that to pay for things than from the people. consumers are spending and impose taxes.

Education and tax dollars go hand in According to Amazon, “companies hand. Take coastal Mississippi for exselling over the Internet are subject to the ample. It gets tax revenue from the casinos same sales tax collection requirements as and as such has some of the best schools any other retailers. Remote sellers (includ- in the state. ing Internet retailers and catalog comIf online shopping continues to grow, panies) are generally required to collect it will place a greater burden on the states taxes where they have a physical selling to come up with money that pays for our presence. If they do not have any such roads, public protection, and education. presence, they are not required to collect More teachers will lose their jobs, more sales taxes.” The Internet Tax Freedom roads will become dilapidated, and people Act (ITFA) has been renewed through will still cry to the city to come fix them Nov. 1, 2014. and beg for the teachers to come back.

Did you know you were supposed to These things require monetary backing, report the taxes to the state anyway when and state taxes are truly part of the backyou don’t pay them? One is supposed to bone of society as we know it. fill out another form if the retailer did not Online shopping is still shopping and collect the sales tax. Many consider this should be treated equally as in-store one of the most common tax loopholes shopping. Whoever an item is shipped to since the majority of Americans either

see NECESSARY, page 19

Clearing the Air

By Alex Whalen

Just One Percent The city of Mobile is in big financial trouble.

Unless something is done soon to increase revenue or cut expenses dramatically, the city will be out of money by June. Overall, the city is looking at an $18.5 million dollar budget shortfall by the end of this fiscal year, in September.

Mayor Sam Jones proposed a 1 percent tax increase – a proposal which was met with fierce opposition. The City Council voted on

the proposal on Friday where it received on three of the five votes needed to pass. So now what?

The most promising measure at this point is a garbage collection fee. However, the city is legally only allowed to charge residents what it costs for garbage collection. So while this may help the budget crisis for the immediate future, it is not the kind of long term solution this city needs.

I have doubts about this garbage collection fee. It seems fair and reasonable, but the opposition felt in the community is not so much against taxes as it is against paying the city any more money whatsoever.

Taxpayers just got done bailing out companies that got themselves into trouble, and they are understandably unhappy about rescuing a city that has been financially run into the ground.

But this isn’t some distant company whose failure isn’t really tangible to most people; this is where we live, work and play. Unfortunately, the garbage collection fee will likely face even more opposition than the sales tax

worries, however, that with more government regulation online, the Internet will lose its identity of openness and a place where ideas can be freely exchanged. Others say the Internet has no real intrinsic “identity” – it is whatever we make of it and continues to evolve.

A Government Barrier

There has been a McFlurry of described government logic as: recent news reports indicating the “If it moves, tax it. If it keeps Obama administration’s desire moving, regulate it. If it stops for a national broadband plan, moving, subsidize it.” which, some say, will result in taxes FCC spokesman Mark Wigfield and fees for individuals using the countered: “It’s not adding taxes.

Internet.

It’s just saying if there are going President Barack Obama to be these taxes, let’s do this in a recently revealed his conveniently way that is consistent.” named National Broadband Plan But the constitutionality of (NBP); according to an April 6 the issue comes into play when Michael FoxNews.com article, among the the U.S. telecommunications Winters plan’s proposals is the creation regulator wants to become of a “national framework for the entangled with something that taxation of digital goods and services and has already been proven to be outside of its imposing a fee to establish and maintain a jurisdiction. national public safety wireless broadband When a government agency proposes network.” to overstep its constitutional bounds, But if FOX News scares you, www. yet the president seems to have no broadband.gov/plan has all the un-biased problem whatsoever with this and, in fact, information about the NBP you could encourages it, one cannot simply turn a ever wish for. I will save you from the gory blind eye. details of a bill no less savage except for After all, I thought Obama ran on a something I find most curious. platform arguing for, among other things, On page 58 of the NBP, network neutrality? Indeed, he said he Recommendation 4.20 states “the federal “strongly supported” it, though if you government should investigate establishing closely examine his position on the issue, a national framework for digital goods and one will find it quite clear that his vision for services taxation.” network neutrality is not at all in line with The plan, if enacted, will essentially what the stance espouses. create a new e-commerce business Obama’s support for the network model, which “would reduce uncertainty neutrality rules proposed by FCC chairman and remove one barrier to online Julius Genachowski was revealed in a Sept. entrepreneurship and investment.”

22 PCMag.com article saying he believed The Federal Communications that it was the role of the government to Commission (FCC) hopes entrepreneurs lay the ground rules for innovation so that and small businesses do not understand there will be a level playing field for all that removing “one barrier to online who wish to invest in the possibilities of the entrepreneurship and investment” actually Internet. means adding one huge barrier in the form Recently, I have noticed that Obama of the government when it has already throws around the word “innovation” been ruled to lawfully have no place. as much as he throws a new tax at the Former President Ronald Reagan once see BARRIER, page 19

increase.

At around $210 dollars a year for garbage collection, this fee would cost average households far more than a 1 percent sales tax increase. To end up paying an additional $210 dollars in sales tax, a household would have to buy $21,000 dollars worth of taxable goods within the city.

To make matters worse, city officials have already taken money out of key accounts, like the capital improvement fund, to shore up the deficit. But once your break open your piggy bank, the money doesn’t just magically reappear.

Even if the garbage collection fee passes, it won’t be enough to shore up the budget deficit. Pay cuts and furloughs for city employees will likely accompany any sort of budget change.

What the city really needs is a long term solution – one that involves a complete budget overhaul with a new approach for generating revenue.

Take downtown Mobile, for example. The dilapidated buildings and countless clubs

make it a prime habitat for drunken rednecks and homeless people, but this isn’t generating any appreciable revenue for the city.

There is space downtown to facilitate the numerous and highly talented artists and musicians, but a scene like this simply cannot flourish in the current environment. I can envision cute little retail and specialty shops sprinkled downtown, but again, not in the current environment.

Plenty of entrepreneurs are willing to invest in businesses downtown if there was money to be made, but city officials need to facilitate these projects.

Ultimately, I would like to see the budget shift from relying on sales tax to collecting more property taxes. Of course, those who don’t own property don’t really care one way or the other about property taxes and property owners are vehemently opposed to any such increase. So city officials hear nothing but harsh opposition to property taxes, but at some point they’re just going to have to bite the bullet.

see INCREASE, page 19

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Vanguard Staff Staff USAVanguard.Editor@gmail.com

Sudoku

Distractions

The

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April 19, 2010

Crossword

Crosswords by Myles Mellor

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Caption Contest Rules:

Send us your funniest caption to the picture. Send submissions to USAVanguard.Editor@gmail.com. We’ll print the funniest ones in the next issue.

April 19, 2010

Caption Contest Results The funniest captions submitted for last issue’s pictures, decided by the Editorial Staff.

Have a picture you think would have a funny caption?

Send it to us at USAVanguard.Editor@gmail.com

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- Denny Martin

19

The

Vanguard

April 19, 2010

Letter to the Editor Send Letters to USAVanguard.Editor@gmail.com

Whalen Himself Hypocritical To the Editor,

In response to the article “Let’s Move On” by Alex Whalen in the Clearing the Air column in the Opinion section of the Vanguard Volume 47, Number 30, dated April 12, 2010 – I found the unbelievable irony of the article quite entertaining.

Note to Alex, typically when one issues the hypocrite tag to a given person or set of persons it is because the issuer is attempting to mask their own hypocrisy in the process.

Case in point, Alex Whalen states “It’s simply the case that someone who would attack another person simply on the basis of their beliefs is not someone we need to try to engage in a debate.”

Yet, Alex opens his article slandering persons in authority in Mississippi by stating that they are both ignorant and (this is a direct quote) “ass-clowns”.

So Alex’s premise seems to be that it is OK to attack another person simply on the basis of their beliefs as long as their belief system is not Alex’s.

Those in authority in Mississippi determined a course of action based on their belief system (I wonder how else they

would arrive at a conclusion) which Alex does not agree with.

Personally, I do not agree with their course of action taken or the vitriol shared on Facebook but the problem that I have is the blatant hypocrisy that Alex demonstrates.

I assume that based on his profile picture (a person smoking in front of a No Smoking sign) or column picture (Clear the Air text superimposed on a photo of pollution) that Alex is seeking to be confrontational and controversial.

I applaud this attempt but the article’s double standard makes Alex moot in his argument and attempts.

In addition to the double standard of the article, the sentence “It’s hypocritical to try to force those who believe differently from us to stop forcing their beliefs on people”, makes absolutely no logical sense therefore I conclude that the duplicity of the article and the proofreading of the article bypassed the editor, which is inexcusable.

Michael A. Casallo, MSCIS The University of South Alabama Alumni, 2005, 2008

Barrier

Travel

American people. Yet, what one finds is that little, if any, of the legislation championed thus far by the Obama administration has led to any such innovation.

Timothy Lee of the Center for Individual Freedom believes that the NBP “opens the door for a nationwide tax.” He says, like the health care law, it will give federal agencies a “wide latitude to interpret, construct, and enforce.”

And if the plan’s outline is any indication, the proposal will certainly require yet another kingly figure of taxpayer dollars to make it a reality, which, of course, most Americans cannot afford in addition to the plethora of other taxes Barack “Smile & Tax” Obama conveniently forgot to mention would occur while still running for president.

When Senator John McCain bemoaned the perceived lack of transparency in the health care reform progress, Obama accused him of still being in campaign mode and to take the debate more seriously.

Of course, McCain was portrayed by Obama and the media as stubborn and still living in the past. Yet, I am baffled that no one seemed to realize that Obama’s accusation essentially removed himself, by merit of his own words, from any responsibility to the promises he made while on the campaign trail.

Football players need to be able to focus on preparing the night before games, but that doesn’t justify the expense for smaller programs, USA included.

Now that we have a football team, USA should make every reasonable effort to ensure it has every opportunity to be successful. But staying in hotel rooms for home games isn’t reasonable.

from page 15

www.usavanguard.com

from page 14

Necessary from page 15

should be charged whatever state taxes apply in the state the item is shipped to. Otherwise, it is a detriment to our society and the entire structure of state government and publicly funded programs and initiatives.

Taxes should be kept within reason, but they should be levied on online commerce especially so that our kids have all the opportunities they deserve. When one evaluates a tax idea, one must evaluate the costs and the benefits to determine the greatest good produced. And online state taxes promote the greater good.

Increase from page 15

There are plenty of city models out there that show money can be made by widening economic and entrepreneurial opportunities. Some cities even make money from their recycling programs and public transportation.

I’m not saying all these changes can or should be implemented. Every city is different, and regional differences must be taken into account.

But with so many cities out there doing things that work, there is no reason why Mobile should be so involved in so many projects that clearly don’t.

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20

The

Vanguard

April 19, 2010