VANGUARD
THE
VOL. 52, NO. 10
“If it matters to the USA family, it matters to us.”
APR. 1, 2013
Wilters to be honored
USA loses a family member: Honoring Jordan Greer
By JAYSON CURRY jayson-curry@hotmail.com
The University of South Alabama will honor Judge Harry J. Wilters Jr. on Wednesday, April 3, at 7:30 p.m. at the USA Baldwin County Campus in Fairhope. Wilters was a jurist and lawyer in Baldwin county, his home town, where he practiced law for 60 years and was judge of the 28 Judicial Court for almost 14 years. Wilters graduated from Robertsdale high school and later served in the Army Air Corps/ Air Force in the occupation of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Wilters came back to Alabama and finished his undergraduate work before getting his law degree from the Cumberland School of Law. The South Alabama department of political science and criminal justice is starting an endowed lectureship with the inaugural lecture on April 3. According to a press release about the event, The Judge Harry J. Wilters Jr. Lectureship in Constitutional Law and Professional Ethics, established by the USA Foundation Board, was made possible through a gift donated by Judge Wilters’ family: Mrs. Verla Ledlow Wilters, a USA Foundation Board member; Dr. John Wilters; and Judge Robert Wilters. The endowed lecture will provide funding for an annual lecture in constitutional law and professional ethics, the core values of Judge Wilters’ creed in upholding the law. The first endowed lecture will be presented by Dr. Charles W. Gamble, Dean Emeritus and Henry Upson Sims Professor Emeritus of Law at The University of Alabama School of Law. The lecture, “Without Fear or Favor: Let Us Now Praise Famous Judges,” Contact Kelli Dickson at Kellidickson@live.com for further information.
Senator goes extra mile By STUART SOX sgsox@att.net
duties and responsibilities she will inevitably face. Davis is no stranger to the rigor of student government duties. She was the SGA president as a senior at Davidson High School, the freshman-atlarge in her first year at USA, an engineering senator as a sophomore and is now SGA’s chief justice. Davis recalls a mere three Monday nights of her college career that she wasn’t meeting with fellow members of SGA, discuss-
SGA School of Computing Senator Jacob Taylor, a junior and information systems major, saw a need on South Alabama’s campus and prompted a change that many students will appreciate. As part of last fall’s school of computing SGA senate project, Taylor proposed a three-part initiative to improve the infrastructure in certain areas of campus. Over Christmas break, reflective beads were added to each speed bump on campus, 76 in all, to improve their night time visibility as the first initiative of the senate project. The second initiative, currently in progress, is the widening of the turns into the Shelby Hall parking lot on Jaguar Drive. These turns have been an issue for drivers on campus for some time. “I am terrified that I might hit another car when turning,” said Uriel G. Lopez on The Vanguard’s Facebook page. The turns are expected to be completed by May. As the third initiative of the project, a sidewalk connecting Meisler Hall and the life sciences building will be built to provide a walking path over a large expanse of grass. Construction of the sidewalk is set to begin in April. The entire project was paid for by SGA and cost $7612. The reflective beads cost $912, the new sidewalk cost $4500 and the widening of the two turns cost $2200. Taylor encourages other students to be proactive in initiating necessary changes on campus by attending the weekly SGA meetings. “A lot of people don’t really know what SGA’s about or what we’re doing, so
See SGA Page 7
See Senator Page 7
CASSIE FAMBRO/ EDITOR
Hundreds mourned Greer on Wednesday at the Moulton Tower including friends, family and USA staff.
Read how USA family and friends remember Jordan (top right) on pages 5-6.
Davis wins SGA presidency by landslide By STUART SOX sgsox@att.net
Rising senior and criminal justice major Riley Davis won this year’s Student Government Riley Davis Association presidential election by a landslide 71 percent vote. Davis currently serves as the
SGA’s chief justice and is a member of the Chi Omega Sorority. But who exactly is South Alabama’s future SGA President? “I’m nervous,” were Davis’ first words in an interview with The Vanguard. “This is my first interview as President,” she added with a sense of anticipation. While some may think that nervousness indicates fear of failure, in Davis’ case, however, it speaks to her understanding of the magnitude of the
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In this Issue: Life, Page 18 Sports, Page 21 Opinion, Page 19
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VOL. 52, NO. 11 / APR. 1, 2013
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VOL. 52, NO. 11/ APR. 1, 2013
“University of South Alabama’s Student Voice”
PAGE three
Editorial Editor in Chief Copy Editor Life Editor Opinion Editor Sports Editor Left of Center Senior Reporter Web Editor Staff Reporter
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Twitter: StormTeam4g9wx Facebook: Facebook.com/StormTeam4Gamma9Wx Graphic courtesy of student meteorologist Patrick Bigbie
USA Police Blotter 251-460-6312 03/27/13 8:40 MIL Theft of property second degree Stolen Apple iPad at Lab of Infectious Diseases
03/24/2013 12:30 MIL Criminal Trespass first degree The Grove
03/22/2013 0:30 MIL Possession of Marijuana Second Degree, The Grove bldg 5
03/25/2013 10:27 MIl Misc (Lost Saudi Arabian Passport) Robinwood Apartments
03/22/2013 2:39 MIL DUI at Stadium Blvd 03/22/2013 18:27 MIL Misdemeanor-”harassing communications” at USA Medical Center
03/26/2013 15:26 MIL Theft of Property 3rd Degree Two textbooks stolen (Principles of Human Psychology, Pediatric Emergencies) USA Bookstore
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VOL. 52, NO. 11 / APR. 1, 2013
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VOL. 52, NO. 11 / APR. 1, 2013
IN MEMORY OF JORDAN GREER
The Vanguard extends its sympathies to the friends and family of Jordan Greer. We would also like to dedicate this issue to Jordan, known for her sense of humor and great spirit. Jordan passed away on March 26 after a medical emergency at the USA rec-center. We opened up the opportunity for those who knew Jordan to submit their memories, kind words and condolences. They are below.
I met Jordan Greer sometime around November of 2011. At the time, she wanted to be a manager on the women’s basketball team. So I got her contact information, but she never showed up. Lol. Like a week later, I saw her at the Mitch going to class. As we were talking, she brought up why she didn’t show up. She was like she was going to be a manager but she changed her mind. She said in these words, “My grades are slipping and I’m not having that. I want to be in control of my grades before I can do something like that.” And I laughed and said I applaud you for taking interest in your coursework as a freshman. Not many freshman would have thought about their grades. But she did. From that moment on, of the many conversations we’ve had (most of them at the rec center as opponents) that one stood out the most because she wasn’t going to let anything stand in her way of achieving her goals. She never met a stranger. She always spoke and she was such a sweet person. Friendly, Down to Earth, and she ALWAYS had a smile. This was a tough pill to swallow because She was the type of person that could light up the room. I will miss her and playing basketball against her because Shawty had skills. R.I.P. Jordan. Make sure God let you shoot the three on the wing. -Courtney Thomas Jordan Greer was a beautiful person on the inside and out. Me and Jordan stood side by side as supervisors at the Mitchell Center and managed the same group of workers. One thing she taught me is to never feel like doing the
best for yourself is good enough. She was the type of person who cared for others and sacrificed her well-being if others couldn't have it, which is going to make her a precious angel in heaven. My prayers go out to Jordans family! She was a great person! -Jonathan Davis Jr. Jordan was one of the most wonderful young ladies I ever met. There was never a dull moment around her, nor was there ever a frown. She was known to the Mitchell Center staff as our "Sunshine", because when she walked in the room or came around, she had a smile so bright, you would think she was the sun shining. When you saw Jordan, you saw that smile of hers. Jordan was a sweet, beautiful, smart, and caring young lady who cared about the well-being of others. She will be truly missed, but I will always be reminded of her warm heart and smile each time I see the sun shining! My deepest prayers and sympathy go out to her family, other friends, associates and colleagues associated with Jordan. -Christina Norwood I wasn't one of Jordan's best friends, but I was lucky just to be able to call myself her friend. There are no words to describe the pain in my heart when I heard of her passing. It seems impossible. I just knew she was going to wake up. I've never heard an unkind word said about Jordan. Her personality and smile just made it impossible to dislike her. Every time I'd see here, no mat-
ter where or when, she'd greet me with a hug. It's so hard knowing I'll never get another one of Jordan's hugs or see her smile. It just doesn't seem fair that such a sweet person was stolen away from us. We will miss you Jordan. You will forever be in our hearts. -Patrick Herring I would like to take the time out to say that I didn't know Jordan personally but I did always see her in passing and I must say she kept a beautiful smile on her face. I know she had to be someone special and was placed here for a reason. She touched so many people in so many ways. I would like to say to everyone that knew her to not cry tears of sadness but be happy and rejoice. Know that she is in a better place. No longer is she a part of this cruel world but she is now with our heavenly father and will watch down on all of you. God make no mistakes. You all have my deepest condolences and may her memory live on FOREVER! -Mariah Samuel Jordan was an inspiration to everyone you truly will be missed but never forgotten -Ashley Hood I can honestly say that God answered my prayers a while ago when I asked him to better my surroundings. He has truly blessed me with angels on every corner. Only thing is he comes back for his angels and that is truly evident. Jordan Greer was such a beautiful, smart, funny girl. I will always remem-
ber how we met, it was at the jagtran stop our freshman year, we were the only ones there and you bluntly stated "Hey I have you in one of my classes" with the biggest smile on your face. We exchanged names and ended up going to class together almost everyday and the memories continued. I will miss when you always said before every chemistry quiz "Y'all lets pray" it was so funny and we always did. Or the time when our study group was in the library and we talked about everything else but that chem final. Oh the laughs we shared. The memories go on and on. We all will miss you dearly Jordan. Our once inspirational Jaguar is now our inspirational Angel. God heal and comfort your family in such a time. In Jesus name! #R.I.P Jordan! -Brittany Daniels "A message I would like to send to the Friends and family of Jordan Greer: KEEP CALM AND TAKE IT TO THE LORD! I was in your shoes nearly 4 years ago. So I know how you're feeling. Sad? Mad? Confused? Yes! a combination of all of these things but I am a living witness that the best thing you can do is KEEP CALM AND TAKE IT TO THE LORD. Things will get better. I'm not saying that they will today or tomorrow, maybe a month or 6 months. It may even take a year or 3 years, but know that with time you will one day understand. So just a reminder: be patient, PRAY PRAY PRAY, and remember that God has your back! Fall on him whenever you need to. Rest In Peace Jordan! And keep your heads up USA!"
- Shenice Davis Way back to freshman year. God blessed me to become friends with you. I'm so glad I had the opportunity to meet you. From good laughs to intramural sports, midnight runs on the track, and just hanging out I'm so happy you were able to impact my life. You are such a wonderful person and a blessing that has touched many people. You were a great friend and I can truly call you that, I really love you. Your life is a testimony and we will stay strong for you. God had a plan and the best thing to do is trust him and not only now, but forever. RIP J-dawg -Diamond Godbolt From freshman year until now meeting Jordan and getting to know her was a great experience. Never was a time I would pass her without her grabbing me to give me a hug, or trying to get my attention if she saw me first. She was the sweetest girl ever and now God has called her home. You are truly missed Jordan and may God continue to bless your family as you have blessed every life you came in contact with. May he also be a comforter in this time of mourn. God makes no mistakes. You're in a better place now baby girl. We all love you. -Datrianna G. Jordan Greer I’m glad I got the chance to meet you. You were so outgoing and I enjoyed every laughter and every hug I got from you. I'll cherish all those moments and I won't forget
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you. I’m just glad to know that she is happy in the arms of the person that she loves and trusts so much. I pray that he takes care of her and loves her as much as we did. Love you Jordan. -Kemaya Chantal I've been flipping through my yearbooks, reminiscing...Asking myself 'why do bad things happen to good people?'--of which I could come up with no response. When I got to my senior yearbook earlier, I was flipping pages and stopped on the class of 2011...MY graduating class, and was reminded that our class song was "It's So Hard to Say Goodbye" by Boys II Men. Never have I ever agreed with something so much in my life as I do with that song title right now. Before March 26th, I lived a blessed life filled with many friends, loved ones and zero loss. I was born into an older family, so I, unlike most of my peers, was able to bypass the pain of losing a grandparent or something of the like. In some ways, I have considered this a blessing, but March 26th has made me realize just how much I was NOT prepared to see a loved one go. Early yesterday morning, I received news that a good friend of mine, Jordan Greer, passed. At first, I couldn't absorb what I had heard, but the disbelief soon became over powered with reality. Jordan, this same beautiful girl I grew up with and attended school with since we were 11 was no longer a phone call away. For those of you who never had the privilege of meeting Jordan, I am saddened. She was a beautiful, sweet and caring individual--traits not often held by one single person. We were in many clubs and classes together throughout our academic life, and looking back, I can't recall a day Jordan wasn't wearing a smile on her face. Although I am heartbroken and I find this news hard to swallow, I am trying to focus on the good times that we shared. There are many things that I will never be able to forget about my dear friend--two of the main ones being her laughter and her ability to get others to join in on the fun. I can clearly recall two or three instances in which Jordan made my day, and if you ever knew her, I hope you find yourself saying "that's so Jordan" or if you were there, can get a laugh being reminded as I have. 1. During our 9th grade homecoming, Jordan pretended to be the freshman float sponsor to get people to come help on the float. She prank
VOL. 52, NO. 11 / APR. 1, 2013
called a ton of people, and although it seems silly and SOOO freshmen-y of us....It certainly boosted the number of recruits that year :P 2. This memory pertains solely to me, but it managed to make me smile a little through the tears and hopefully whoever is reading this, too. During one of our student council meetings, Jordan announced that Ms. Walmsley was sad because she was losing all of her "white girls" (as Jordan called them :P) due to graduation. In response, Ms. Walmsley said something along the lines of still having me around, and Jordan responed within two seconds that I didn't count because OF COURSE Jenna is Asian. ALL day, I have been thinking, crying, remembering moments like the two I posted above, and above all thinking just how NOT fair this whole thing has been. I've been told that this is supposed to be a lesson in life...the lesson that life is not fair, but I learned that lesson well in second grade when I didn't get the part to the play that I wanted. Whatever the lesson or reason behind this tragedy, I know Jordan managed to touch many lives much like she touched mine. This is not going to be easy, and certainly not a job for Ben and Jerry's to fix, but despite the pain and sorrow I will have to endure to overcome this sadness, I will NEVER regret meeting my sweet friend. In fact, I am grateful to have known such a wonderful and talented human being, and if by chance Jordan is reading this, I want to use this time to remind her of our sushi date we planned a few weeks ago. I've been told "It's So Hard to Say Goodbye" so instead "I'll see you later, my sweet friend." -Jenna May There are so many things to say about Jordan that not even a whole book could describe the depth of her personality. Jordan was a friend, a daughter, a sister, a cousin, a counselor, a listener, a volunteer, a teammate, a coworker, a leader, a lover, a dreamer, an encourager, silly, a goof off but most of all a Christian. Jordan loved The Lord and I know God is smiling because one of His angels is with Him. I believe God created Jordan for such a time as this to love on so many people with the love that God gave her to bring a revival on this campus in which so many people who knew her would now care for each other and appreciate life. Do I question why she was taken soon? No, because God has her and I know it's never a good bye. As long as we remember her for who she was to us, it will always be a see you later. Rest is peace my sweet sister and friend. -Amber James
Jordan’s words to CASLCE director Karen Peterson: "I couldn't decide what i wanted to do for my 21st birthday this year and then I came up with the idea of getting at least 21 people to at least one random act of kindness but then I was like maybe we should try campus wide and get the students and faculty to take a pic and tag it to a page we could create to see how many people we can get to do it." Mrs. Peterson: I met with her late on the day she collapsed, and we planned the project. She was so excited about seeing people be kind to each other on her birthday. We are still going to do this, now in her honor, on October 16th, her 21st birthday. Jordan was a truly beautiful person, and I feel blessed to have known her. Mark your calendars for October 16- Jordan’s Random Act of Kindness Day Jordan’s Obituary Jordan Seymone "Noonie" Greer, 20, of Gautier was granted her angel wings on March 26, 2013. Her final days were spent surrounded by family and friends that Jordan had touched in some way throughout her short but very memorable life. Jordan Seymone's life would seem too short to many, but those who were touched by her understood that the quality of her existence far exceeded the quantity of time in which she lived. Her beautiful smile and kind words brought so much joy to her family and friends. Jordan was born to Tracie L. Hunter and William T. Greer on October 16, 1992. She accepted Christ at an early age and was baptized at Meridian Street Church of Christ. She was faithful until her departure while worshipping at Mount Hebron Church Ministries in Mobile, AL. Jordan graduated from Gautier High School in 2011. She was very active throughout her life in her school and community. She was a member of GHS student council, honor society, and debate team. She was an outstanding athlete who participated in many sports; yet her passion was basketball and volleyball. Jordan was a sophomore at the University of South Alabama. She loved college life and was very active there. She was a volunteer mentor at W.I.N.G.S. - Women Investing in the Next Generation for Success. Jordan's greatest aspiration was to graduate, become successful, and make her parents prouder. Those who will forever cherish her memories include her parents: Tracie and Bobby Brown, father William T. Greer, her big brother Chad Greer, brother: Keon Brown and Rondell Bob, sisters: Kierra Brown and Emerald Frazier, great - grandparents, grandparents, a host of aunts, uncles, cousins, special little cousins: EJ, Kelan, Kaylee, and Kimora, friends, her boyfriend Aaron Thomas, and besties Dru' Kia Joseph and Marissa Boyd.
VOL. 52, NO. 11 / APR. 1, 2013
SGA President-to-be looks forward
Letters to the Editor
Continued from page 1 ing appropriations, co-sponsorships and the like. “I definitely feel like all of my experience in SGA has prepared me for my responsibilities as president…it’s given me a good sense of what it means to put in time and effort for the students I serve,” Davis said. Davis also says being well versed with The Lowdown as chief justice will help her as president. “I think knowing The Lowdown will help me to know and understand everyone’s responsibilities and be able to better oversee and help them,” said Davis. When asked what she would do first to prepare for her presidential duties, Davis responded jokingly, “Invest in a bigger planner.” Upon learning that she won the election, Davis “hit the ground running” in her preparations for learning the responsibilities of SGA president. “I’ve already made plans to work closely with Parker [Chastain] to learn exactly what I’ll be doing…I’ll also be going with him to sit in at the various meetings he has to attend so I can learn the ropes,” Davis said. Davis already has big plans for USA in her upcoming term. One of her biggest goals is connecting the students to the university administration. Davis intends to work with members of administration in planning events held in popular student areas that will allow students to meet and talk to administrators. “Students need to know who their administrators are and be able to more easily communicate with them,” Davis said. Davis also wants to recognize students that work to make a difference at South Alabama, something she thinks will encourage more students to do their part and be proactive on campus. “I want students to be spotlighted for the work that they’re doing…making a difference on campus and in the community,” explained Davis.
Encouraging commuter students to spend more time on campus is also near the top of Davis’ list of priorities. “Bringing students back to campus after class is important to me because we are such a huge commuter campus…I really want to see them coming back, attending sporting events and getting involved with intramurals and student organizations,” Davis said. When asked how she will be an advocate for students in tuition talks with administration, Davis said, “It will be crucial that we get the point across to administration that if tuition needs to be raised, it needs to be the minimum possible because it’s getting more and more difficult for students to pay for school with all of these increases.” Davis decided she wanted to one day become SGA president when she visited South Alabama as a high schooler. “I remember talking to Kim Proctor, who was president back then, when I spent the night on campus and thinking ‘I want to be like her…I want to be SGA president,’” Davis said. Davis plans to dedicate as much time as necessary to fulfill her duties as SGA president. “Being a student comes first, of course. We’re all here to get a higher education…but president comes second,” Davis said. When asked what has made her a leader, Davis said, “I’ve always been drawn toward leadership roles and I like seeing and helping others get involved and start leading on their own…I consider myself a leader from within the group rather than on top of the group because it’s more about service leadership and leading by example rather than voice.” “SGA has become a huge part of my heart…helping students and knowing that I’m making a difference on campus. Some people just do it for the resume but for me this is truly something that I love doing,” Davis added. Davis will be sworn in as president at the SGA banquet on April 29..
Phi Kappa Sigma falling short Dear Editor, As not only a student at South Alabama, but also a member of the Greek community I have noticed very little interest about the “new” fraternity on campus. When I first heard Phi Kappa Sigma was trying to come back onto campus, it didn’t bother me at all. I would welcome the addition of a new fraternity or sorority on campus. However with a large percentage of the student body “anti-greek” it shocks me about how little, people know about them. As a member of an IFC fraternity, we are always publicly called out about our social (parties, swaps,etc.) events that we are involved in. However not one thing has even been said about Phi Kappa Sigma. From the moment they started their interest group in the fall till now, the only thing they have done are social events. From cookouts, swaps, and a party at the Belltower there has been nothing reported about that. If they wish to be called a fraternity, I think they need to act like it. Every true Fraternity at South host at least two, or three different community service/ philanthropy events every semester. Here are just a few from each house: Kappa Sigma- Dry Super bowl event, Pi Kappa Phi- Build wheelchair ramps, Sigma Chi- Huntsman Cancer Inst., Pi Kappa Alpha- Wilmer Hall, Kappa Alpha- Habitat for Humanity, Tau Kappa Epsilon- Goodwill Easter Seals. Each of these fraternities not only betters the men who make up its members, but they also better the community. Now I’m sure Phi Kappa Sigma has a philanthropy, but I haven’t even heard them say anything about it. Now if the student body is really “anti-greek” as they say they are, I would like to see someone question the members of Phi Kappa Sigma on what will they bring to the University, how will they better campus and the community. I know many non-greek students say, that the Greeks run SGA, and control the University. If that is true why is no speaking up about this issue. They have already been approved by the University to join the Greek community, but did IFC, or the student body have a voice in that? I think not. If they wish to join the IFC and to be a true member of the Greek Community, people need to start asking these questions. I would like to hear what the IFC, and SGA has to say about this subject, because they are the leaders who should be asking these questions in the first place.
Sincerely, J.D.
Bring the Foo to campus Dear Editor, I recently posted on the Foosackly's Facebook page proposing the idea and they replied that they would love to! All they wanted me to do was petition the school. If this was accomplished I think it would add a increased "college town feel" to the University. At Auburn and Alabama nearly all places in town accept their respective dining dollars. South lacks this "feel" I am referring to, because it is overshadowed by the ideology that we are the "13th Grade." I am from Mobile and experience this frequently. Hopefully you can help my cause! I have already spoken to many students and have been receiving rave reviews. We’re running a petition. http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/jags-love-the-foo/ The link is the only thing you need to access it! I am encouraging people to use their jagmail when they sign!
Thank you, Vaughan Blacksher
Senator goes the extra step Continued from page 1 if more people came to be part of the student forum at the meetings they could have input in the senate projects…and we could do more things on campus,” Taylor said. SGA meetings are held on Monday nights in the conference room behind the registers at the Fresh Food Company, otherwise known as the cafeteria or the dining hall.
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Admin responds to cry for the Foo We have explored the possibility of adding the ability for student’s to use their Dining Dollars off-campus. It’s possible but not with our current card system. Right now we have separate systems for dining, residence hall access, library copiers, etc., and the one dining uses isn’t very advanced. Also, any system at Foosackly’s would need to use internet connectivity to connect to the university servers and the university’s internet security is very tight. Getting the proper channels in place is apparently very difficult, at least with our current system. When we had an off-campus deal with Papa John’s a few years back, they actually used an analog modem and the orders were then manually processed…Papa John’s paid for that equipment and also paid a hefty commission to the school for each order to pay for the person who was processing the orders. I’m sure the university would expect Foosackly’s to pay for the equipment needed on their end and any other associated costs. Long story short, it’s not something that could be done right away but potentially one day. -Aramark Representative
THE VANNY G POST APOCALYPSE
Healthy eating officially illegal
The liberal Greek-hating biased rag that never dies, even when everyone else does
TOWER RENAMED SMITH TOWER Tree telepathy becoming common
By CORONARY ART Thirteen people were arrested last week in a widely-applauded crackdown on students attempting to eat healthy in the Fresh Food Company, South Alabama Dining spokesman Chris Co confirmed to The Vanguard in a phone call late yesterday. The sting was orchestrated by campus police and the Alabama Beef Council to send a message that eating something other than deep fried foods is unacceptable behavior for students attending South. Food Service Director Angie O. Plasty refused an interview request about the incident, but did release the following statement: "We respect the right of all students to commit gastronomic blasphemy by eating leafy green vegetables or colorful fruit, but the current budget does not permit a large margarine of error – fruits and vegetables are only to be used for decorative purposes.” Further attempts by The Vanguard to interview Ms. Plasty were scared away by an elderly gentleman frantically trying to stop the rather loud clucking noises coming from inside the pots in the kitchen area of the dining facility. According to a police report filed in one of the arrests, a female suspect reportedly attempted to take two oranges from the dining hall on Thursday March 21st around 12:45PM. Upon witnessing the heist, an employee hip-checked the accused frugivore into a tub of mushy French fries until the Aramark SWAT Team could arrive on the scene. The suspect has filed a lawsuit against the University for gruel and unusual punishment. Outgoing USA President Gordon Moulton assures everyone that the dining hall's practices are necessary. "In order to achieve the University's goal of having the best bang-for-your-tuition-buck in the country, we must make sure that students have heart attacks well before their student loans are paid in full. It's flawless. No, really." The Delta Deli sells individual pieces of fruit for $8.99 each.
VOL. 1, NO. 1
By RICKY CRODSWORTH
We’ve been in our office so long, we aren’t even sure when the tower got there anyway.
Did you know there were names on the bricks? Who has money to buy a name on a brick? By BRYANT HEATHERLY bryantheatherly@yahoo.com
At a press conference on Thursday, acting president John Smith made the unprecedented decision to change the name of Moulton Tower to Smith Tower. The tower itself is only a few years old, only being approved by the Board of Trustees in 2009. Several events are located there and it is the highest point on campus. The press conference was originally to announce a new academic plan for 2014. Acting president Smith had hinted earlier last week for some big news to be announced at the conference. “This decision marks the change in leadership of this university,” Smith said, ”I felt that this campus needed a change, and this is the perfect opportunity to do so. We are overhauling the whole university, our image, both physically
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and academically. The tower just seemed like the best option to attach my name to something. “As an ever-growing institution of learning, we must be willing to accept change, and when a new leader, such as myself, comes into the picture [students and faculty] must be willing to submit to authority. “This decision has nothing to do with discrediting Gordon [Moulton]’s name, I have the upmost respect for the man. I am not taking his name off the campus rather I am moving it. The bell tower in the middle of campus will bear my name, while I will be moving the former president’s surname to the new student center, to be finished in 2018.” When asked to give his opinion on this new change, freshman Zac Fox had this to say: “I think it’s great that President Smith is chang-
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ing the bell tower, I never really cared to the name ‘Moulton Tower’, it just sounds so drab. ‘Smith Tower’ sounds exciting and gives a certain flair to our school.” Junior Nikki Reed had a differing opinion. “I don’t see why we have to change things. I was perfectly content with Moulton Tower. What is President Smith going to do next? Knock down the physical education building and build a rugby field?” “We had a tower?!?!” freshman Cameron Englebert said when asked about the matter. In the last words of the conference, Smith added new information to other areas of campus. “I’ve always felt odd about the traffic circle next to the police station and residence halls, so I’ve decided to switch the direction from counterclockwise, to clockwise. And starting in October, we will be taking a poll for the new name for Shelby Hall.”
Have you ever stood in the middle of the big traffic circle at the end of North Parking and felt an errie vibe, like you were being watched? If so, you aren’t the only one. South student Lee Ann Pouchre claims that there’s more going on in that traffic circle than just traffic. In fact, Lee Ann is convinced that these trees are capable of telepathy! “A lot of things have happened at South that put out energy out into the atmosphere around campus” says Pouchre, “Especially in the exact center of the traffic circle, for some reason I can sense that alot has gone on there.” It is these mysterious activities that occur in the middle of the traffic center which put out the most energy, causing the trees to be capable of telepathy according to Pouchre. When asked to elaborate Pouchre explained that “When such great amounts of energy are released, it has to go somewhere and the closest place for it to go is into the surrounding trees. This transforms the trees on a level which most people aren’t even aware of. I pick up on this energy because of my own psychic abilities. The trees in that traffic circle can actually speak to me! I asked Pouchre what the trees tell her and she declined to comment, hinting only that “the trees have seen some fairly disturbing things.”
In this Issue: Life, What’s left? Page 3 Sports Bowling for Zombies Page 5 Opinion, Whiskey or vodka? Page 9
VOL. 52, NO. 11 / APR. 1, 2013
jagLYFE
JAKE HOWELL, JAGLIFE EDITOR jsh803@jagmail.southalabama.edu
5
Vanny G, Yo
Genetically altered super squirrels raise army By BAILEY HAMMOND baileyh803@gmail.com
U
SA students, staff and faculty are used to dealing with unforeseen construction or roadblocks on a daily basis due to the instability of the earth and cycles of the moon. However, what many who do not frequent campus may not know is that there is a far more sinister force at work: the USA squirrels. Unbeknownst to the rest of the county, perhaps even the nation, squirrels have taken over campus in a frightening way. Documents were recently leaked linking the Chemistry Department’s research to a new breed of “super squirrel” seen stalking campus. Campus officials have refused to comment on this startling evidence, prompting this reporter to get to the bottom of things, Lois Lane style. Pictured is a dossier on one of the squirrels currently roaming campus. He goes by the moniker Hulk, but appears to have no relation to the green Avenger. The frightening fact isn’t that this research was allowed, or that the squirrels somehow escaped custody and haven’t been caught. No, what truly freezes the blood is the discovery that the lesser squirrels
are now rallying around the super squirrels, acting as an army and worshipping them as gods. Previously, the squirrels followed a gang mentality, acting erratically for no reason, and committing petty vandalisms and thefts to show dominance. There was a marked divide between the North, South, East and West Side squirrel gangs, with the feud for turf a number one concern on both sides. Raids on rival gang nut storage facilities caused many a disturbance. Innocent students often fell prey to sudden skirmishes between opposing gang members, getting startled as the squirrels fell from trees, ran across their paths, scurried up buildings or simply bickered at each other from separate locations. Dark times indeed. Yet those days of gang warfare were only warming up to the time of the super squirrels. Under their leadership, the gangs have united and all squirrels are now of one mind, disciplined to achieve the goal of campus domination. “Their eyes,” stated sophomore Heidi Doolittle when asked about her experience with the super squirrels. “Their eyes are so cold. But not like a blue type of cold. The brown kind. Like dirt. Their eyes are dirty cold. It’s frightening. Plus, I could swear he
Monday, Apr. 1 ► April Fools Day!!! ►All Day - Chik-fil-a Free Hamburger Give-away.
►12:15 p.m. - 1:15 p.m. - “Chi-
na’s Quest for World Domination” Lecture in the Humanities Building, Room 540.
►7 p.m. - 9 p.m. - Faculty Oboe
Death Metal Recital in the Laidlaw Recital Hall. $10 USA Students/Faculty/Staff.
Tuesday, Apr. 2 ►7:30 p.m. - Iron Chef: USA
Edition in the USA Dining Hall. Eat at Your Own Risk.
Wednesday, Apr. 3 COURTESY OF ANONYMOUS SOURCE
This is Hulk Squirrel. On a daily basis, he has been observed lounging near the Humanities Building as the other squirrels steal Chik-fil-a from students in order to feed him. Did we mention the super squirrels are also carnivores?
talked to me and told me to give him my nut money.” Fortunately, no one else has heard a squirrel speak.
However, if you hear voices in the trees, don’t be alarmed. You might not be crazy. The squirrels may just be articulate.
Tortoise sanctuary to replace central parking By JAKE HOWELL
jsh803@jagmail.southalabama.edu
I
t was announced early last week that, in order for USA to maintain it’s “green” momentum, the central parking lot would be ripped up in order to construct a gopher tortoise sanctuary. The gopher tortoise is threatened throughout most of its natural range in the Southeastern United States. Researchers have attributed catastrophic habitat loss to the decline in numbers of this incredible animal. Seen as a keystone species, gopher tortoises dig extensive burrows that provide shelter for hundreds of other species. Vice-President of Campus Affairs Rick O’Daly said, “This sanctuary will not only help the tortoises recover, but it’s also bring in thousands of tourists
to visit the burrows for the chance to see these fascinating creatures.” Several gopher tortoises used to call the USA campus home, but have since disappeared as construction has increased. Not everyone is thrilled with this decision, however. Junior English major, Kassidy Crebbs said, “This is just ridiculous. Parking is already a nightmare, they want to add to the problem for stupid turtles?” For the reader’s information, tortoises and turtles are, in fact, not one in the same. Turtles are more adapted for aquatic life whereas tortoises have thick stumpy legs for digging. Freshman sociology major Adam Richmond said, “I’m all for helping our furry friends, but this just seems like a great way to start a riot. No one wants
WEEKLY LOWDOWN
►7:30 p.m. - Murder Mystery
Party in the USA College of Medicine Gross Lab.
►8 p.m. - Campus Recreation
Hot Air Balloon Stargazing. 15 dollars for USA Students/ Faculty/Staff.
Thursday, Apr. 4 ►6 a.m. - 12 p.m. - Jaguar
Productions Presents: Secret Super-Soaker Battle Royale: Students vs. Professors.
Friday, Apr. 5 ►2:30 - 4:30 p.m. - Exotic
Animal Petting Zoo in the Humanities Courtyard. Do Not Tease the Elephants.
►7:30 - 9:30 p.m. - Vanilla
Ice Concert in the Mitchell Center. $5 for USA Students/ Faculty/Staff.
JAKE HOWELL | LIFE EDITOR
Construction on the sanctuary has already begun with officials hoping to complete the transition before summer classes begin.
the students storming the Administration building with a battering ram.” Construction has already begun, as can be seen from the mounds of gravel
and dirt near the lot and will involve the release of 10 captive-bred gopher tortoises once the area has been cleared of asphalt.
Want your event featured in the Weekly Lowdown? Email the name, date, time, price, place and a brief tagline (under seven words) to jsh803@jagmail.southalabama.edu.
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VOL. 52, NO. 11 / APR. 1, 2013
Parking lifts to ease parking burden or incite student revolt? USA to
STAFF ILLUSTRATION
The parking lifts to be installed will make appearances in the North, South, Residential, and Gamma parking lots.
By TIMOTHY BORLAND trb903@jagmail.southalabama.edu
I
n an effort to put an adhesive bandage over a gaping wound, the university has approved the purchase of several hundred parking lifts to be installed on campus. Lifts are often used as a moneymaking solution in big city parking garages with limited space. These marvels of engineering al-
low for a car to park on a platform which is then raised so that another can be pulled in underneath. An understandable level of discord has been raised on campus. “I’m concerned the higher elevation of the lifts will ruin the gorgeous landscapes we have on campus,” says chemistry major Matt Ranchy Standing well over six feet at their full height, the lifts very well could be an eyesore.
At least none of the forests around campus would be destroyed, even if students can no longer see them. Panoramic view or not, exhaust from hundreds of 220v motors required to operate the machines will not be very kind to the nearby flora and fauna. There are other concerns as well, such as who will operate the equipment and what length of time students will be required to leave their car parked. Initially the board has suggested that all students would be required to wait until 3 p.m. before being allowed to retrieve their car. The administration has issue an official press release stating the decision was made to discourage commuters, forcing students to walk to all their classes. Besides the long wait, many are worried tuition may rise again as the result of this decision. The cheapest lifts are available for about $4,000, meaning that the university will have to spend over one million in endowment money just to cover 250 units. This does not even factor in the long-term cost of the salary needed for the lift employees. “I think they should just bring Jag Bikes back – that was a much more cost effective approach at encouraging students not to drive to every class,” says business major Seth Stanford.
These particular “stackers” can only provide space for two cars per parking space. Some of their features include dual hydraulic lifting cylinders made from galvanized steal. A couple hundred new spaces, however, will not change the fact that attendance numbers at USA continue to grow. While effective at present, the parking lifts may become a very costly stopgap instead of a final solution. The majority of students have one main objection to these high-powered car jacks: not everyone will suffer. Evidently the administration has approved the lifts for student parking only, meaning that faculty can still park and leave as they please. Students are threatening to picket the teacher’s parking in protest. Last week professors at the humanities building complained that they weren’t able to park due to some determined individuals who appeared to be napping between the blue painted lines of the faculty spaces and refused to budge. In spite of these valiant efforts, no students have yet been sacrificed for a parking space. When asked for comment, the administration stated that there is no evidence the protestors were even USA students.
Engineering department receives grant to build T.A.R.D.I.S By MATTHEW TENNANT mtb12321@jagmail.southalabama.edu
T
he Engineering department has received a grant that will allow an interdisciplinary research project to move forward. The project, headed up by mechanical engineering professor Dr. John Smith and Physics professor Dr. David Eccleston. “The whole purpose of the project is to bring together as many disciplines as we can to make a contribution to society that will change science as we know it,” explained Dr. Smith. The grant will allow faculty and students alike to begin construction on a machine familiar to fans of the popular British television show, “Doctor Who.” Both Dr. Smith and Dr. Eccleston are fans of the show and jumped at the chance to construct a T.A.R.D.I.S. “The acronym stands for time and relative dimension in space, and the machine allows the Doctor to travel through space and time,” said
COURTESY OF USA ENGINEERING DEPARTMENT
If the Engineering Department is able to construct a working T.A.R.D.I.S. (seen here in a concept image) all of space and time will be at the fingertips of the USA administration. That doesn’t sound scary at all, does it?
Dr. Eccleston. Senior civil engineering major, Donna Tyler will be involved with the project. “Can you imagine? If we can do this, especially the ‘bigger on the in-
side’ bit, it’ll put USA on the map!” said Tyler. While the Doctor’s T.A.R.D.I.S. is stuck disguised as a 1950’s police phone box, no word has been released on if USA’s machine will follow suit.
The T.A.R.D.I.S., as Tyler mentioned, is also “bigger on the inside.” This blatant transgression of the laws of physics is explained at “Time Lord Technology” in the show and remains one of the key features of the Doctor’s machine. In order for construction to begin, the entire bottom floor of Shelby Hall will be converted into the team’s workspace. “It’s all very exciting. This project will bring a great deal of prestige to USA and definitely help with recruiting,” chair of the engineering department Dr. Jack Mitchell said. While the laws of physics remain firmly in place, this team is bent on flouting them. “You’re only limited by how big you can dream. I’m pretty sure someone important said that, but it remains true here,” said freshmen physics major Jenny Taylor. Dr. Smith says that they hope to have a working prototype of the T.A.R.D.I.S. by 2015, but what’s time to a time-travelling doctor...of engineering?
offer fun classes By DANIEL FRONTBUSH South is making some controversial additions to the current curiculum as of this Fall semester. This comes from a a desire to grow and recruit more students. The validity of the new subjects to be offered however, is being intensley scrutinized. It is rumored in fact, that all of the new courses were added only because they consist of simple material and are easy to pass. This way, South can attract more and varying demographics of students. This will strengthen among other things, sports programs and other various campus clubs. If all the proposed classes are aprooved, then the following list of courses could be available as soon as the end of summer semester:
History of Adult Swim Klingon Meme Education The Khardashian empire Elvish Handmade greeting cards The history of beer Vampirian Last minute home made gifts The ingredients of Doritos The Star Trek Universe Magic the gathering Setting up home elctronics The Star Wars Universe Thumb twiddling Hitting stuff with a rock Mastering Magic eye books Proper street crossing methods The above is not the entire list. There are many more new classes on the way. South is even open for suggestions! If you have an idea for a new class that you would like to see offered at South, you can submit your idea by sending an e-mail to your advisor by the end of this Spring Semester.
Troll Opinion
NOAH LOGAN OPINION EDITOR ncl1101@usavanguard.com
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VOL. 52, NO. 11 / APR. 1, 2013
New parking will please many but upset unlucky few In response to the constant s t u d e n t complaints about parking, S o u t h Alabama has put new NOAH LOGAN policies into ncl1101@jagmail.southalaaction that bama.edu will hopefully satisfy the students wants while also retaining all the economic benefits from the old policies. Starting next semester, the parking zones will be exactly the same as they are now. Parking passes for zones will also be done through the same methods as before. However, the day to day routine for parking will be significantly change because the parking zones will not be enforced on all but one day out of the year. This new one-day enforcing will please 99 percent of the study body but students will feel the consequences of such policies one that one dreaded pay. Since there is no money being made from tickets on any other day, USA administration plans to make up for it economically on the one day. The net total of parking ticket funds received in Fall semester 2012 will be divided up into 1,000 tickets that will all be given out on the dreaded date. This means an alarming total of
$120,000 divided up into 1,000 tickets will be handed out. The university will not release the specific date or even the month in which it will fall. While the new policies may appear a little extreme, all the complaints are being answered and students are still in no danger of receiving the new bankrupting tickets if they just park in the correct zone. The university will also refrain from suffering any economic setbacks and will continue to use the parking ticket money to make our campus and university better as a whole. USA also released a quote regarding the select few who will receive the new tickets saying “Sucks to suck.”
VANGUARD ARCHIVES: EDITED BY NOAH LOGAN
New student dictator receives mixed reiviews from students In a bizarre s equence of events, Tyler Hadley, the newly elected President of the USA RYAN WALLACE P r e - M e d nwallace@gmail.com Club, has taken unilateral control of the organization In addition, he has dissolved the remaining leadership, abrogated the group’s constitution and, perhaps most seriously, declared the Einstein Bros Bagels location in the humanities building to be his own personal fiefdom. “We honestly just needed someone to run the meetings and update our Facebook page occasionally,” said sophomore biology major Rachel Day, “and that’s when Tyler just stood up and started yelling something about parking. We didn’t get any of it, but he seemed pretty passionate so we went ahead and elected him. Plus, he was the only person running.” Reactions to the change in regime are mixed. “While I can’t say that I enjoy being addressed as ‘drone’ and assembling a throne made out of parts of crushed-up JagBikes, the free bagels are fantastic” said freshman political science
JagPulse
In your opinion, who is the best professor at South Alabama and why? J. Howell: Dr. Guzy teaches Harry Potter class! She’s obviously the best. C. Fambro: Guzy is a nutcase. Aucoin is the man. Lets the Famguard run free. N. Logan: Dr. Husain is the smartest man on campus. I love having him as a professor. It’s like a live enyclopedia. J. Coker: Dr. Husain is like an encyclopedia in the fact that
they’re both boring! Dr. Coker wins everytime! M. Husain: Coker, this is the best professor. forum Not for “worst wardrobe.” J. Coker: Suck it. A. Nola: Dr. Doran wins the longest winded time after time. (116 likes) J. Steadman: look at the liberal arts majors acting like they matter... How cute.
major Sean Milbrath. The same sentiment was echoed by senior English major Stephanie Feather. “Look, I agree that this beats the heck out of staring at rocks for hours during Geology lab, but I can’t help but think that maybe this thing got a little out of hand when Tyler had us enslave the School of Computing to erect a giant statue of himself next to SouthPaw. I mean, it doesn’t even make sense. The College of Engineering is right there in the same building.” Complaints brought to the Student Government Association have so far elicited precious few results. At a recent meeting, the topic was addressed by a visibly exasperated SGA President Parker Chastain. “We’ve been over this several times already. There is technically nothing in The Lowdown that makes subjugating the members of an organization and declaring yourself Dictator-for-Life of a newly formed sovereign state within the USA campus illegal,” he said with a shrug, “besides, he’s already filed all of the paperwork for fund appropriations, and most of us happen to think another statue on campus would go a long way towards beautifying the grounds and really making USA look the part of a 21st-century forwardlooking university.” Dictator-For-Life Hadley, mean-
while, has turned his attentions toward ruling his small empire. While the ruler rarely makes public appearances since his rise to power, he frequently issues lengthy ramblings/edicts from his metallic cathedra. Although most of them seem to be pointless or perhaps a little smutty, there are more than a couple that have left the students and faculty of South Alabama in a state of apprehension. “Now look here, if he annexes much more space, he’ll reach my office,” said English instructor Maurice Gandy, “I finally found the most ergonomically perfect chair at OfficeMax last weekend, and the thought of him using it as a footstool terrifies me.” Other stated goals of the autocracy include demolishing the Student Center to accommodate a “Game of Thrones”- themed amusement park and the composition of a “totally sweet” anthem for the fledgling realm. “Something like the guitar solo from ‘Fade to Black’ by Metallica, but with like an eagle screaming over it,” last week’s proclamation declared.
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J-TIZZLE, ROC STAR Ain’t nobody got time for email
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VOL. 52, NO. 11 / APR. 1, 2013
NASCAR coming to traffic circle By Kermit the Frog
Iluvbnggreen@jagmail.southalabama.edu
B
y popular demand, the traffic circle located in the center of the South Alabama campus will be transformed into a NASCAR track. Seeing as many drivers already treat the circle as such, school officials decided to add the necessary safety measures to ensure the current speed can be retained. A three-foot high concrete wall will be constructed on the outside of the traffic circle, with a chain link fence that will line the top of the wall. There will also be a position tower located in the middle of the circle so that drivers may check their times around the track. To accommodate this, South Alabama will be adding a new major, NASCAR Training and Preparation. These classes can be found under the “NCR” abbreviation in PAWS. Students will be graded based on their time around the track, which will be displayed on the new position tower for all to cheer or ridicule, based on how good or bad you are. There have been several reports of a corporate sponsor wanted to acquire naming rights for the track, including Mossy Oak, Valvoline, BP, Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles, Aunt Jemima, Fruit Loops, among others. The primary boosters for the new NASCAR track will be Kyle and Kurt Busch. “We wanted to make something no one else had and be like ‘Yea, suck it, we’re better than you,’” said Kyle. “We are clearly more awesome than other drivers out there, I mean we are
Students will be able to finally learn to drive safely around the traffic circle
The new stadium will have a capacity of 35,000, with room for expansion
building a track on a college campus. All you need is a beach to go in the middle and I’ll call Tim McGraw to come give us a concert or something. Can we rename the school South Alabama-Busch?” While this may seem a tad outragous, the revenue coming in from a 24-hour race track on a college campus plans to drop tuition 68 percent. I can’t find a calculator, but that’s cheaper than before. While not finalized, several days throughout the year will feature special races, including JagTran races and a “road course”, which will take place all over South Alabama’s campus. “Junior Nation!” said one NASCAR fan, who wished to remain anonymous.
DUDE CLEANING BELL AT MOULTON TOWER
ARTIST RENDERING
South to build football stadium
New stadium will be where track, softball and soccer currently stand By AfroMan
AfroMan@SIYMrecords.com
S
outh Alabama acting-president Dr. John Smith announced plans to create an on-campus football stadium that would be completed in time for the 2016 football season at a press conference in front of Moulton Tower last Friday, March 29. The stadium, which would be named Moulton Field in honor of retiring president Gordon Moulton, will be located in the area currently occupied by the soccer, softball and track and field complexes. Those facilities will be relocated to the land at the corner of Hillcrest and Old Shell Road. The football stadium will have a 35,000 seating capacity. The primary shape of the stadium will be that of a horseshoe, with the open end facing out towards Old Shell Road. Mouton Field will feature a sports museum, known as the “Jaguar Hall of Legends”. The museum will feature displays of championships and pictures of members of the Jaguar Athletics Hall of Fame.
“This is a great move that will help make put South Alabama on the same level as other BCS schools,” said Dr. Smith. “We are hoping this stadium will grab the attention of not only fans but recruits around the country.” A brick and concrete plaza, similar to that found around the Moulton Tower, will also be in place outside of the stadium. The plaza will feature a statue of former South Alabama running back Anthony Mostella, who the Jags honor each year by awarding his No. 5 jersey to the team captain. “It will be a fantastic view driving down University Blvd. and the first things you see are the Mitchell Center, Moulton Tower and Moulton Field,” said athletic director Dr. Joel Erdmann. “And with this new stadium, new facilities will be in place as well for the relocating sports.” A new softball, soccer and track & field complex will be constructed in the land at the corner of Hillcrest and Old Shell Road, across from the student recreation center. Soccer
and track & field will share the same field, with collapsible bleachers to be erect for soccer matches. “The new sports complex should give us more room to host tournaments and other regional athletic events,” said Erdmann. “We want opponents coming in here and saying ‘Wow, this is a new facility.’” The football stadium will feature actual restaurants as concessions in the concourse, such as Mellow Mushroom, Moe’s and Foosackly’s. There will also be kiosks where fans can buy alcohol as well as mixed drinks. “Foosackly’s and beer? I’ll be there,” senior health studies major Matthew Ornowski said. “That plus Jaguar football sounds like a winning combination to me.” Materials for the new football stadium will be donated by Atlanta Falcons owner Arthur Blank, who is helping to oversee the future of the football program. Moutlton Field is set to be completed in time for the 2016 season opener against Kentucky at September 9, 2016.
VOL. 52, NO. 11 / APR. 1, 2013
ON SAINT OF SPORTS SAINT PATRICK PATR atrick@holysports.com saint.p
5 17
SPORTS
Sophomore lineman May leaving football for...tennis? By SAINT PATRICK saint.patrick@holysports.com
T
BY SCOTT DONALDSON|USAJAGUARS.COM
Former lineman Chris May
he entire South Alabama football was shocked Friday when sophomore offensive lineman Chris May called a press conference at the football field house, mostly because players don’t call for press conferences. May addressed the media with the astounding announcement that he is leaving the sport of football to pursue a career in tennis. “The tennis world has never seen a player of my stature,” the 6’4, 285 lb. May said. “I don’t think they can handle my power.” Perhaps the most shocked was head football coach Joey Jones. “This is completely out of left field. Before now I didn’t even know Chris knew what a tennis ball looked
like,” Jones said. “While we are extremely disappointed, we respect Chris’ decision and support him fully.” Apparently May discovered his love for the sport of tennis when he decided to register for tennis class at the university. “From the first day of tennis class, I knew I had found a new love,” May said. “My footwork on the line really translated well to the tennis court.” Men’s tennis coach Nick Brochu is elated with May’s decision. “We sat down with Chris to be sure this is what he really wants. He expressed to us that he is serious about tennis. We couldn’t be more excited to have him.” May will be able to compete for the squad beginning next season, but since he hasn’t used any of his athletic eligi-
bility on tennis, he can potentially play three seasons for Brochu. “I’ll miss all of my guys on the football team, there’s no doubt about that, but I just feel like i can compete at a higher level in the tennis world,” May said. Athletic director Joel Erdmann has never seen anything like this in his tenure. “I’ve heard of guys playing multiple sports ya know, basketball and football or football and track, but I’ve never heard of a football player leaving the team to play tennis,” Erdmann said. “I’m not upset with the move, just perplexed. We’re happy that Chris will still be a part of Jaguar athletics. He will simply be representing us on a different stage than before.” Following the press conference,
May held an open practice at the Bruce David Lubel Memorial Courts to showcase his skills at his new sport. He was seen returning serves with an angry, hulk-like yell that startled his fellow tennis players, as well as onlookers. And to go along with that hulk-like yell was a temporary display of anger on the court. When one of his serves in an exhibition match was called out, he bent his tennis racket in half and threw it across the court. “I just have to get used to the calls the refs make,” May said. “In football it’s easier to blow off steam in the huddle when you think the refs blew a call, but here it’s just you and your thoughts, so I kinda snapped today.” May’s first match is this Thursday vs. Troy where he’ll play the No. 3 spot.
Men’s Basketball Team Prepares for an Offseason of Dance By BRIAN WALLIS bwillis@vannysports.com
N
ewly hired men’s basketball coach Matthew Graves has wasted little time getting his Jaguars into basketball shape for next season. “At first,” said junior guard Antoine Allen, “it took some time getting used to. I mean, we’re all used to running full-court suicides and hitting the stairs, but the ballet was something different. I gotta say, I think it’s starting to work.” Despite murmurings of concern over his unorthodox methods, Graves swears by his routine. “It’s not something we advertised a whole lot at Butler, because it’s what really gave us our edge. But yeah, we generally coordinate with the nearest ballet company to put on a performance during the offseason that features our basketball team,” Graves said. “The Indianapolis Ballet Conservatory was very good to us, and I’m pleased to say we’ve reached the same rapport with the Mobile Ballet down here.” Coach Graves credits the summer performances of works such as Giselle, La Bayadere and Graves’s favorite, Swan Lake. “There’s nothing like the ballet to develop some of the most important skills that a basketball team needs to be champions. By its very nature, choreography requires that all the different parts of the team have to
move together and work with one another. That kind of teamwork is exactly what got us to the Final Four a few years ago.” The coach also mentioned the extraordinary effect that pouring hours into pounding the wooden floors of the stage has on footwork, especially for his post players. “All the moving, the jumping, the Grand Jetés and Failles, serve to make our big guys that much more agile in the paint, where it counts the
“
Man I’ll squeeze into the tights if it means adding two or three points a game to my average. -Augustine Rubit
”
most,” Graves said. The prospect of improving his post game even further certainly excites returning Sun Belt Player of the Year Augustine Rubit. “Man, I’ll squeeze into the tights if it means adding two or three points a game to my average,” commented the accomplished rebounder as he swung his right leg back and forth along the Mitchell Center’s newlyinstalled stretch bar. “At first, it was
weird lifting (junior point guard) Dre (Conner) into the air over and over again and then spinning him around, but I can already feel the improvement in my core muscles and my triceps. I’m thinking I’ll be pulling even more boards down next year.” Not all the players are equally enthused about the new program. “I showed up late to ONE team meeting and Coach said I have to play the girl part,” groused freshman guard Barrington Stevens III. “I don’t have anything against doing whatever Coach says, but I’m supposed to do the splits at least three times in Don Quixote, and so far I can’t even get one. Plus, I hate my tutu.” When told about Stevens’s complaints, Graves just grins. “He’ll get there, and that extra flexibility means he’ll be breaking down defenses in no time. If you want to make it to April, you have to have a man that can get the ball to the hoop and make things happen.” Will Bourrée translate into buckets for the men’s team come October? Only time will tell. But if Coach Graves has anything to do with it, his players will be dancing both on the stage this summer and a year from now in the NCAA tournament. “I can only put the boys out there. They have to WANT to be the best dancers and basketball players they can be,” Graves said.
STAFF ILLUSTRATION BY
PAINT
One of the potential unifroms you could see the basketball team in if you make it to one of their ballet practices.
VOL. 52, NO. 11 / APR. 1, 2013
Pictures worth more than Kevin Federline
20 love tips from Taylor Swift By T-Swizzle
crazyexgirlfriend@notreallytalented.org
1. So you’re totally into this boy, right? But the only thing that stands between him and you being together is that short skirt wearing bitty that totally doesn’t get him. So what do you do when you so belong together? If it’s meant to be then it’s meant to be, or you can just be a home wrecker and ruin all of your lives. Whatevs. 2. There’s this really hot girl in your French class and you want to put the moves on her and sweep her off her feet. This is all you have to do… be a complete jerk to her whenever there are people around, like make fun of her and stuff and then string her along while meeting in secret and making out under the in the biology lab. Okay fine. That girl might be me, I just need another song… 3. Your relationship is going perfectly. You’re the annoying girl who’s practiced her “future last name” a million times and has it down pact. You’re even planning your dream wedding after a month and have everything down to the shoes you’ll wear. Cut it out, you’re scaring him and he’ll probably leave you if you don’t stop being a freaking psychopath. 4. There’s this super cute guy that’s like bff with one of your best guy friends. So how do you get his attention… Okay remember this ABC, Always Be Cute. That way he’s attracted to the best side of you. Then when you start dating you can stop being cute and release all your ugly and then if he doesn’t run away screaming it’s totally meant to be. 5. If you don’t think your boyfriend is cheating on you always second guess. Because boys just like break hearts and don’t know what girls go through, so you’re like def entitled to go through all his stuff and his phone. Because if he likes you he totally wouldn’t like some girl’s profile picture. Cheater material? Like duh. 6. Okay so your best friend is a little on the easy side. I can totes relate because of my high school friend Abigail was so the same way. You need to get that under wraps fast and help the girl out because before you know it she’ll have your boy-
friend on the couch faster than you can say “Taylor Swift is the best, like ever.” 7. Okay boys if you’re not happy in your relationship DUMP HER. If you can’t imagine being with this girl the rest of your life then you need to save yourself and get away from her crazy. Trust me I know crazy, at least she won’t write a song about you. 8. So once in a while we all fall in love with our best guy friend. It happens to the best of us. No matter how much you love him as a friend if he’s screwing you over call him out. You totally don’t deserve to be second best or stuck in the friend zone for like ever. Don’t let someone control you just because they have the biggest hold on your heart. 9. When you say “We are NEVER ever everrr getting back together” mean it dang it. Your facebook relationship status changes so much it’s starting to give me whip lash. 10. If you’re 22 like this year is totally your year. When I made a song about being 15 that just lead to a lot of girls in high school start thinking true love happens and lead a few hundred girls to getting pregnant. You’re legal, you are responsible for yourselves…so live it up and everything will be alright. Until you wake up next to a stranger. 11. So you and your girlfriend like fight all the time and you are at each other’s throats and make everyone around you uncomfortable. But that’s totally okay because you love each other. So just give up half of who you are and just make it work because it’s totally worth it. Who cares what your friends say? It’s not like you’ll regret it later on. 12. If he listens to any indie and it’s way cooler than yours, is a drama-king and over exaggerates everything and is like just a total jerk to you and doesn’t treat you like the princess you are then dump him and tell him you are like never ever getting back together. Like EVER. Then give in and get back together. And repeat. 13. Guys if you’re just leading a girl but you actually care about her, then end it. It’s way better to break her heart all at
once than to slowly break It until she figures out that you are the jerk you never wanted to be. Grow a pair. 14. Boys, surprise your girls with flowers. Today boys like never do that and she’ll totally love it. Just be ready to answer a million questions because she will automatically assume you did something wrong because we’re, like, super insecure like that. 15. Girls, if you think he likes you then just take a leap of faith and ask him out. He might say yes and you’ll date for like years and get married and have four kids. Or you’ll be totally embarrassed and fall flat on your face. But just pretend like the first one is going to happen. 16. Nothing turns on a man more than a stalker. Do crazy romantic things like watch the way he walks, watch him through his bedroom window and when he’s telling you to leave him alone just ignore it and think about how you belong together. Just tell him your never gonna leave him until he says he wants to be with you. Works like every time. 17. If you’re missing your guy when you’re apart just do what I have when I wrote “Come in with the Rain”. Leave your window open and lie in your bed and yell your boyfriends name until he climbs through when it starts raining. Or it’ll be a 99.9 percent chance some strange man. So I suggest having a baseball bat at all times. 18. So many girls relate to my “I’m Only Me When I’m With You”. But seriously if you can’t be without your boyfriend for more than a day and you don’t have your own identity you should probably get a life other than your boyfriends. 19. I know us girls like totally like to have a hold on our guys and have him do our every will, but there is a fine line between a good boyfriend and a whipped boyfriend who just doesn’t want to hear you whine and complain so he does what you want. Tread it lightly. 20. You would think that after my hundreds of relationships and dozens of love songs that I could like give way better advice than I am. So just totally do the opposite.
Crazy Preacher Bingo
Yo I heard you like some Moulton in your Moulton
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VOL. 52, NO. 9 / MAR. 11, 2013
Distractions
Student Health Sudoku
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VOL. 52, NO. 9/ MAR. 11, 2013
Goblins will assist SGA By STUART SOX sgsox@att.net
A
group of goblins from Gringotts bank in London’s Diagon Alley has agreed to lend their magic touch in helping USA’s Student Government Association appropriate funds to student organizations. The goblins will be with South Alabama starting with the fall semester of 2013 until after first and second round SGA budget meetings. Gringotts Bank has agreed to send a group of goblins each semester for two years under a renewable contract with USA administration. The gradual increase in number of students at South Alabama in recent years has resulted in more campus involvement and new student organizations requesting money from SGA. “Because of the higher volume of appropriations packets coming in and the work involved with appropriations, we decided it would be best to recruit someone with expert banking experience for help,” said SGA Treasurer Bill Dearson. The goblins will work closely with Dearson and future SGA treasurers and appropriations committees in handling the allocation of funds to student organizations. “Although we aren’t exactly delighted to be so far from Gringotts, we are eager to begin work with SGA…it doesn’t hurt that we are being paid handsomely either,” said Griphook, one of the goblins.
The goblins anticipate learning to use “muggle money” to be easy enough. “It shouldn’t be too terribly difficult…I just don’t understand the muggle need for all of this paper currency…why not just use all coins?” said Griphook. “Everyone in SGA is excited to be working with the goblins,” Dearson commented. “It will be an honor to learn from them and it’ll look great on our resumes,” Dearson added. The USA Quidditch team will be holding a scrimmage match in honor of the goblins’ arrival. The scrimmage will take place at the intramural fields sometime at the beginning of next semester, according to members of the team. Butter beers, Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans and chocolate frogs will be available for spectators at the match. USA Quidditch also plans to have authentic Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes and Zonko’s Prank Shop merchandise tables set up at the match. Members in student organizations that have questions about applying for appropriations can email usa.sga.treasurer@gmail.com. The SGA encourages all South Alabama students to attend their weekly meetings to find out about campus events and issues and have a voice in SGA senate decisions as part of the student forum. The SGA meets on Monday nights at 8 p.m. in the conference room behind the registers at the Fresh Food Company, otherwise known as the cafeteria or dining hall.
You wish this was April Fool’s.
USA is “Fashion Forward” By Daniel Moran @danieldorable
T
he most important part of college life is fashion. You would find sitting in class somewhat awkward if you, and all of your peers, were completely nude. Lucky for us, the USA students rotate their best outfits regularly to remain fresh and memorable. With spring and summer approaching, students are paying close attention to the details popping up on New York runways and are now showcasing this season’s hottest trends on campus. For men, ripped jeans and tennis shoes are a thing of the past and are being replaced with khaki cargo shorts and Sperry’s. They’re living proof of the ability to express Alexander McQueen’s vision through the power of Hollister and American Eagle. Their confident fashion choices secure their position in society as they are considered well-groomed and desirable young men.
“When a guy steps out of his pick up truck wearing three-year-old Sperry’s, I just swoon,” Cayla Brewer said. For ladies, it’s time to show off the tanned and toned body you’ve been perfecting over the last six months. The dark, dreary colors of fall are moving to the back of the closet as room is made for neon, neon and more neon. Ideas are being pulled straight from the 2013 Michael Kors runway with the appearance of Nike shorts—or better known as “norts.” “Norts are the best way to attract a man and remain on top of the fashion pyramid,” Jessica Head said. The most essential item this year comes to us in the form of shoes – Crocs. Crocs embody sophistication and mystery as you walk down the halls. “If you don’t have Crocs, you don’t have a social life,” Erick von Schaffer said. Ladies if you’re looking to vamp up your shoe collection,
look no further than Croc heels. Croc now offers a variety of heels and wedges perfect for the spring and summer. Unisex fashion items are becoming more popular. It’s easy to pick up the newest Guy Harvey or Salt Life tee and rock it like a true model. Can’t afford authentic Ray-Ban sunglasses? No problem – designer brand is out and cheap knockoff is in. Fashionistas and fashionistos alike are sporting top end sunglasses from places like Aeropostale and the cheap kiosk in the middle of the mall. Students at the University of South Alabama deserve congratulations and admiration for their bold well thought out fashion. With extensive trend research, they’ve purchased cargo shorts, American Eagle tees, Crocs and Norts. With these items, success in life, love and a career is not far away.
Alert: Vanguard under seige By J. Cane @NotATweeter
For many years The Vanguard has been lauded as one of the South’s finest newspapers, but as of April 1st, 2013 that will change. SouthPaw, also known as Nar, Guardian of the Twin Palaces of Ram of the Inordinate Plane, in the Valley of Goo on the Candy Cane plateau has spoken. “Too long has this rabble gone about its wicked ways, it stops now,” spoke SouthPaw. The change came as a surprise to Vanguard writer Stuart Sox. “I’ve always been proud of what we do here, I guess I’ll have to focus more on Jagtv.” The change was announced Friday by Southpaw himself, as he rode on his flaming stallion DOOMREMOTE, in the sky around Molten Tower, sulfur and ash in his wake. Cassie Fambro, Editor in Chief of the former Vanguard, has not been seen in public since the Friday announcement and is believed to have barricaded herself in her office while searching for the Rock of Conners, the only weapon known to have the power to kill a mascot God.
The struggle.
Kolton Peavy
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VOL. 52, NO. 9/ MAR. 11, 2013
End of April Fool’s Issue
VOL. 52, NO. 11 / APR. 1, 2013
jagLIFE
JAKE HOWELL, JAGLIFE EDITOR jsh803@jagmail.southalabama.edu
5
Gashcat to work local music scene at Southsounds By TIMOTHY BORLAND trb903@jagmail.southalabama.edu
“
Music scenes don’t come from festivals, festivals come from music scenes,” says Kyle Craft, guitarist, vocalist, and songwriter of Gashcat. Gashcat will be making their debut appearance at Southsounds 2013 festival this April. This five piece band currently hails from Shreveport, La and could be described as ‘fuzz folk’ although the band often defies easy categorization. The band’s combination of distortion, indie lo-fi recording techniques, brass instrument accents, and nasal vocal style easily draw comparisons to Neutral Milk Hotel. The prominent Elephant 6 artist heavily influenced Gashcat’s early sound, but they are now stretching out in new musical directions. Devil Kid Demos is the title of Gashcat’s newest collection of songs
available at bandcamp.com. The band is currently allowing fans to download tracks by naming their own price for the album. These tracks accompany the band’s prior release “Reunion!,” released in March 2011. The band recorded these initial releases themselves. Gashcat is in the process of working on a more experimental album in Shreveport at both Pizza Party Studios and the band’s FuzzPup home studio. Gashcat performed most recently at the South by Southwest Conference in Austin, Texas. The buzz in Mobile about this particular band’s appearance at Southsounds 2013 is already growing as many eagerly anticipate their performance. “The scene is already there [in Mobile]…it’s being painted, the festival is just a bigger canvas,” says Craft. Ticketing options for Southsounds can be found at southsoundsfest.com.
WEEKLY LOWDOWN Monday, Apr. 1 ► 11:30 a.m. - 3:30 p.m. -
Westminster Fellowship Blood Drive in the Student Center Parking Lot.
Tuesday, Apr. 2 ► 5:45 p.m. - “No Excuses,
Know More” USA United Against Sexual Violence Dance for Empowerment Zumba class in the Student Rec Center.
► 7: 30 p.m. - Comedian
Ronnie Jordan at the Mitchell Center Globe. Free.
► 7: 30 p.m. - USA Jazz
Ensemble Spring Concert in the Laidlaw Recital Hall.
COURTESY OF GASHCAT
Gashcat will be performing at Southsounds for the first time this year, bringing their folky sound to Mobile during the April 12-14 weekend.
“Hoop-A-Paluza” to benefit USA Children’s and Women’s
Wednesday, Apr. 3 ► 11 a.m. - 3 p.m. - WOW
Nooner “Balloon Animals and Face Painting” in the Student Center Mall.
► 5 p.m. - Pre-OT Meeting in By SANDRA HUYNH sbh804@jagmail.southalabama.edu
S
ad that March Madness is ending soon? The Kappa Omega Chapter of Phi Mu Fraternity can help! The ladies of Phi Mu are hosting Hoop-A-Paluza, a 3-on-3 basketball fundraising event to benefit Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals (CMNH). Phi Mu is known for being a national sponsor of CMNH, raising over $7 million since 1986. Sophomore Justine Harris commented, “Our local Children’s Miracle Network hospital is USA Children’s and Women’s Hospital, so the money we raise comes back to our own USA hospital.” “Nothing feels better than helping those who are in need, especially those in our very own neighborhoods,” said senior Ashley Trinh. “As a sorority, we visit the hospital and try to help out as often as we can,” Trinh added. Besides Hoop-A-Paluza, the la-
dies also host “Cook Out for Kids,” have balloon sales, and other events. Each year they visit USA Children’s and Women’s and bring items such as books, toys, and games for the children to enjoy. “The families that CMNH help are so appreciative, and everyone should help CMNH raise funds to care for the people of our own town,” Trinh said. Hoop-A-Paluza will take place in the Jag Gym on April 6 from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. All students are invited to form teams and participate in this event. The cost to participate is $35.00 per 3-person team. An organization can have as many teams as they would like, which can increase the chance of winning the overall trophy. Anyone can attend and support the participating teams. Food and drinks will also be available for purchase to raise additional funds for CMNH. Last year, the ladies raised around $10,000.
the Allied Health Building, Room 2074.
Thursday, Apr. 4 ► 4:30 p.m. - Writing
Persuasively workshop in Stokes Hall, Room 1107.
► 7:30 p.m. - “I Can’t Believe
You Asked That” lecture presentation featuring Philip Milano in the Nursing Auditorium.
► 7:30 p.m. - USA Brass
Ensembles Spring Concert in the Laidlaw Recital Hall.
COURTESY OF PHI MU
The sisters of the Kappa Omega chapter of Phi Mu will be hosting their annual “Hoop-A-Paluza” basketball tournament on April 6 in order to raise money for Children’s Miracle Network.
Philanthropy director Sarah Campbell hopes everyone comes out to participate since all proceeds will go to CMNH. “We are hoping to have more
teams and raise even more money this year.” Campbell said. To sign up a team for this event, please email Campbell at skc1002@ jagmail.southalabama.edu.
Friday, Apr. 5 ► Last Day to Drop a Class or Withdraw from the University.
Want your event featured in the Weekly Lowdown? Email the name, date, time, price, place and a brief tagline (under seven words) to jsh803@jagmail.southalabama.edu.
Opinion
NOAH LOGAN OPINION EDITOR opinion.editor@usavanguard.com
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VOL. 52, NO. 11 / APR. 1, 2013
The Vanguard Viewpoint Remember what matters This year alone we have buried three USA students. In lieu of a traditional Vanguard Viewpoint, we have one simple message. Life is precious. Remember what matters and hold it close. Don’t let anything drag you down and always know that you are meant to be great. Don’t settle, don’t wait, and actively seek what you want in life. Whether it is a career, love or another kind of goal, your life is in your hands. Honor those we lost by remembering to reasure your body, mind and soul. Reflect this week, USA.
Marriage equality debate continues Seperating economic benefits and the religious aspectsof marriage would solve equality issue while refraining from imposing on Christian rights U n less you h a v e b e e n avoiding your TV, the inter net, Social COLIN AL-GREENE Media, nwallace@gmail.com the radio and probably people in general, you know that the Supreme Court heard oral arguments this last week on both California’s Proposition 8, and the Federal Defense of Marriage Act. The Justices will present an answer in June. Is the California law a violation of Constitutional Equal Protection rights? Can the federal government say that Federal benefits can be excluded from same gender couples? This is where the matter gets dicey.
EDITED BY NOAH LOGAN
JagPulse Are you concerned about North Korea? Joshua Goff N. Korea isn’t going to do anything. They’ve pissed off China and the other neighboring nations and if they were to launch anything at anyone, they would be a skid mark on the planet before the first shot landed. Eric Hadley Nuke them? Isn’t that what we did when we felt threatened by Japan? Brent Griffin I spent four years with 7th Fleet. North Korea isn’t going to do anything.
Ryan Wallace I agree that the cowards that run that country would never seriously anything, but IF they did, the wisdom of Barry Goldwater has a certain appeal. Bomb everything remotely important and leave the military and rulers of the country with the same stone-age technology they’ve cursed their citizens with. Tyler Reed Bell Strategic bombing might be necessary on military compounds, etc. - not a massive bombing of innocent lives.
The U.S. also needs to work with the global community as it has been so far and not bypass the system. Stephen Purnell We could do what South Korea is doing and ignore their poking. I don’t want us to get complacent, but I do not feel that North Korea has the ability to carry out a war in the scale they think they do.
In our nation’s system of common Law, a precedent could be set. Laws that exclude same sex partners from marriage could be struck down and same sex marriage could get the green light in all 50 states. We could truly be in uncharted waters. I, for one, am an avid supporter of gay rights. I, however, am not a supporter of gay marriage. This is due to the fact that I think the state should get out of the marriage game entirely. Here is my solution. It is the Two Ceremony Solution. I think that every couple; or Hell, any group of people, I don’t care; should receive a legal enjoining in the form of a civil union. The state’s only concern in the matter should be if you are filling jointly or singular on your taxes. Economically, two people living together have many advantages. If they are only paying for one residence, there is additional disposable income. That disposable income goes into the market, and signals for business owners to possibly hire more employees. They’re job creators, and what could be more beautiful than that? Now, if someone wants a religious ceremony, than they can also be married in a church. This really avoids all sorts of problems. If you want to receive the legal benefits to your relationship, go before the judge. If you want the religious cer-
emony, go and see a priest, minister, rabbi etc. There is no redefining of the institution of marriage because it stays with the churches. There is no legal stratification of relationships because everyone gets the same piece of paper. The state and the church are separate, and there is peace and unity throughout the world, right? Wrong! Turn on any news show and it is the story of the year. No one seems to realize that gay people will be gay whether they are married or not. Nothing will change. In the face of reasoned arguments, the nonsense creeps in. My personal favorite argument is; “I just don’t want to confuse the children.” Well, first off, it’s no one’s fault but yours that you don’t like to talk to your children, or that you’ve raised them to be intolerant of things they do not understand, or, best yet, that you think that if they see a lesbian couple filling a joint tax return they will become a homosexual later in life. Really, no one has ever formulated a good argument against same sex marriage, and everyone is tired of hearing the bad ones.
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LEFT OF CENTER
JT CRABTREE, LOC EDITOR jtc804@jagmail.southalabama.edu
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VOL. 52, NO. 11 / APR. 1, 2013
Lady Jags soccer starts spring season By JT CRABTREE
jtc804@jagmail.southalabama.edu
S
outh Alabama women’s soccer will begin their spring schedule on April 2, officially beginning the Graham Winkworth era. The Lady Jags will play five spring games, four at home, against teams from all around the southeast region, including LSU, who USA will host on April 2 at 7 p.m. The Lady Jags will also host Montevallo on April 5 at 6 p.m., as well as Spring Hill on April 7 at 3:30 p.m. The Lady Jags only road game during the spring season will be against Auburn, who they will play on Saturday, April 13 at 2 p.m. South will then take a two week break before playing their last game of the spring season will be a home game against Mobile on Saturday, April 27 at 1 p.m. “This will be a very challenging spring schedule,” said first year head coach Graham Winkworth. “I have plans for this program to one day find itself back challenging for a place at the NCAA tournament. For us to get to that point, we need to play against some of the best teams, not only the South, but the nation, to see how far we have to go. I feel that this spring schedule will help perfectly for this.” Winkworth came to South Alabama from North Alabama, where was the winningest coach in school history with a career mark of 111-81-8. Winkworth also led the Lions to four straight appearances in the NCAA Division II Tournament,
including the 2012 season when UNA advanced to the second round. During that span, the Lions were a combined 65-18-3. Before Winkworth took over at UNA, they had never had an appearance in the NCAA Division II Tournament or won a conference title. Both of those changed, when the Lions earned a NCAA Division II Tournament at-large bid in 2009 with a 19-4-1 record. The Lions also won their first conference title in school history under Winkworth in 2011, finishing 17-4 with a 6-1 conference record. Since arriving at South, Winkworth has notice the hard work the returning players have put in during the offseason, both on and off the field. “Since I have arrived here at South I feel the team has performed brilliantly for me,” he said. “Our academic progress is excellent, our fitness levels have increased immensely and our mentality is better. For the opener against LSU, Winkworth said he will name his starters based on how will they have kept in shape during the offseason. “I told the girls that the 11 fittest girls based on a maximal cardio test that we run will have the opportunity to start against LSU Tuesday,” Winkworth said. “I do not care how much any of them have played in the past. This is a reward for their hard work so far this semester. The Lady Jags finished the 2012 season with a 8-10-3 record, going 3-5-2 in Sun Belt Conference play.
Midfielder Clarissa Hernandez (left) will be one COURTESY OF USAJAGUARS.COM of the main returning players for the Lady Jags
Men’s and women’s tennis have both enjoyed success at home this season
COURTESY OF USAJAGUARS.COM
Tennis looks to finish strong Both teams looking to win on the road in weekend matches By ALYSSA NEWTON akn1104@jagmail.southalabama.edu
After a two week break, the South Alabama men’s tennis team traveled to Murfreesboro, TN this past weekend for the MT Shootout hosted by Middle Tennessee. In this tournament the men faced Troy and two top 75 teams Middle Tennessee and Elon. In the contest against Troy on March 30, the Jags defeated the Troy Trojans 4-0 in the first round. Senior Alex Bernard set the momentum by winning straight sets 7-5, 6-2 over the Trojan’s Sami Ghorbel. Sophomore Daniel Leitner and freshman Gerhard Gruindelingh followed suit winning their matches. To finish off the 4-0 sweep senior Cody Hall defeated Troy’s Daniel Bustamante 6-0, 3-6, 6-3. Advancing to the second round to face No. 43 Middle Tennessee, USA would face another 4-0 sweep, but this one was not in their favor losing to MTSU. They will face the Blue Raiders again in two weeks
at the Sun Belt Conference Tournament in Lafayette, LA, April 19-20. Sunday March 31, the men’s tennis team faced No. 72 Elon on the final day of the MT Shootout. Elon would go on to defeat USA and win third place in the tournament while the Jaguars would fall to a 9-11 overall record. The men will play Troy at home Thursday April 4 and then travel to Memphis, TN to face UAB and Memphis April 13-14. The woman’s team traveled to Lafayette, LA this past Friday March 29 to play Troy and Louisiana-Lafayette on Sunday March 31. In the contest against the Lady Trojans, Troy gained an early 2-0 lead winning the doubles point and a win at No. 1 singles. This trend would continue leading to the Troy defeating USA 4-2 on Friday. This loss would drop the Jaguars season record to 12-7.
But on Sunday the ladies would go on to redeem themselves against Louisiana-Lafayette dropping only one set in singles to shutout ULL 4-0. The Jags won the doubles point with two 8-3 victories. In singles sophomore Mary Angela Martin defeated Juliette Clement 6-3, 6-1 on the No. 5 court giving South a 2-0 lead with Romona Ghermani clentching another victory against ULL’s Baily Van Dyke 6-2, 7-6. The final victory came from Michaela Meszarosova after winning the final of three sets against opponent Sophie Van den Aarssen 6-3. With this victory the ladies record now improves to 13-7 while ULL falls to 12-10 The South Alabama women’s team continues to travel as they take a trip to Spartansburg, SC to face USC Upstate on Thursday and to Rockhill, SC on Saturday to face Winthrop.
SPORTS
PATRICK HERRING, SPORTS EDITOR sports.editor@usavanguard.com
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VOL. 52, NO. 11 / APR. 1, 2013
Matthew Graves named new men’s head basketball coach By PATRICK HERRING sports.editor@usavanguard.com
T
he NCAA Finals hopes of the Butler Bulldogs ended prematurely when they lost to Marquette in the Round of 32. Associate head coach Matthew Graves was likely the only one with a smile on his face the next day, as he had just accepted the head coaching position at the University of South Alabama. “As soon as the final horn sounded and we were on the losing side, I was in a car headed down here,” Graves said. He was all smiles at his introductory press conference, as was Athletic Director Joel Erdmann, who discussed the process that ended with Graves’ hiring. “It was a very enjoyable process in which we met with many highly qualified and highly skilled coaches who had significant interest in the position,” Erdmann said. “But in the interveiw process (Graves) started to get out ahead of the pack. What he’s done at an institution not too different from ours is outstanding.” The job Erdmann is referring to is the emergence of Butler basketball during Graves’ renure with the program. Graves joined the Butler
staff in 2004 as an assitant. In 2010, after Butler made a Cinderella-type run to the National Championship game, he was promoted to associate head coach by his old boss, Butler head coach Brad Stevens. That year they would return to the finals following wins over the first-, second- and fourth-seeded teams in their region. Again, they lost in the big game, but Butler was cemented on the college basketball map. With Graves on the staff, they made postseason appearances in six of the last seven years. During Graves’ tenure with the Bulldogs, the team posted a 244-98 record, a winning percentage of 71.8. Butler is in the past for Graves now as he takes over the South Alabama basketball program, a program he expects to compete with immediately. “This is not a rebuilding process, this is not a reloading process,” Graves said. “We are going to compete for a championship next season.” That is big talk for someone in his first day on the job, but confidence is certainly something one looks for in a head coach. Luckily for Graves, he is likely inheriting reigning conference player
of the year in Augustine Rubit, should he choose to stay for his senior season. Some may question Graves’ move to South Alabama from an established program like Butler, as well as his move from the midwest down south. “I think (South Alabama) is a sleelping giant,” Graves said. “You have the resources, you have the facility, the location is outstanding, and it’s about the people you’re around. So far I don’t have any negatives to say about the people I’ve talked to; they’re tremendous, helpful and accomodating and I’m really looking forward to working with them.” Graves is the tenth head basketball coach in South Alabama history. He replaces Ronnie Arrow, who in his second stint with the team retired ten games into the season. Interim coach Jeff Price finished out the season for the Jaguars who finished 17-13 overall and 14-6 in Sun Belt Conference play. Graves played for the Butler Bulldogs from 1993 to 1998 and was a member of the program’s first NCAA tournament team in 35 years. As a senior, he was the Bulldogs’ most valuable player and led the team to a second straight tournament
BY PATRICK HERRING|SPORTS EDITOR
Newly hired men’s basketball coach Matthew Graves addresses the crowd at his introductory press conference.
appearance. He still ranks in the top 10 in career 3-pointers and freethrow shooting. He was part of the Butler staff when they defeated USA in 2008 in
the first round of regional play in the NCAA Tournament. Also in 2009, CollegeInsider.com ranked Graves as the No.2 mid-major assistant coach in the country.
No. 25 Softball loses weekend series to Western Kentucky By PATRICK HERRING sports.editor@usavanguard.com
T
en minutes after the Lady Jags lost the rubber match of the weekend series to the Lady Toppers, cheering was heard on the field. South Alabama head softball coach Becky Clark looked up from the dugout to see the Western Kentucky team celebrating in the right field grass at Jaguar Field. “Remember that!” Clark screamed to her players as they cleaned up the field. It will surely be in her players heads, being that the Lady Toppers (19-11, 8-3 SBC) were the first team to take a series from the Jaguars (29-7, 6-3 SBC) at home. Western Kentucky pitcher Emily Rousseau plagued the Jaguars in games one and three of the series, pitching two complete games and striking out 20 Jaguars. The Jags just couldn’t get their offense going in the first game of the series, save for a small spurt in the
bottom of the fourth inning. It took them until the fourth frame to get their first hit, but the hit got the bats going. Shortstop Brittany Fowler opened the inning with a single down the right side. She advanced to second on a sacrifice bunt by rightfielder Julie Moss. Then Haley Fagan doubled to left center to score Fowler and put the Jags on the board for the first time on the day. Kaitlyn Griffith stepped up to the plate and blasted a pitch over the left field wall to score two more for USA. The Hilltoppers answered with a 3-run fifth inning, and the Jaguars only recorded one more hit in the game to go on to lose 4-3. It was just the second loss for the team at Jaguar Field this season. In the second game, the Jags came back with a vengance, scoring runs in four of six innings. After the first inning saw both teams fail to make it past the top of their lineup, USA’s bats caught fire. Moss was walked to first and advanced to second on a Fagan sac bunt. She moved to third after a Griffith
single. With runners on the corners, Meghan Collins singled to score Moss, while Griffith made it to third. Catcher Clara Bowen got in on the action with a 2-RBI double. So after the flurry, the Jaguars came out of the inning with a 3-0 lead after two complete innings. Western Kentucky answered with a 2-run top of the third before USA made it back to the plate. The Jaguars answered when Griffith smacked a double to right center to score two. The fifth inning again saw the teams trade runs, each getting one to make it 6-3. In the sixth inning, the Jaguar bats came back to life, seemingly putting the game away. Designated player Emily Messer started the inning off with a triple to deep right center. Blair Johnson walked, then made it to second on a Fowler ground out. Sun Belt Conference Player of the Week Moss came out and showed people why she deserved that distinction with a 2-RBI double to right center to
put the Jags up 8-3. The game looked to be in the bag until a plethora of mistakes by sophomore pitcher Farish Beard allowed the Hilltoppers to score two and fill up the bags to put the victory in danger. With two outs and the bases loaded, junior pitcher Hannah Campbell, who pitched a complete game in the first contest of the evening, came back out to finish the game. Her arm was all it took as she struck out WKU’s McGill swinging on just four pitches. Game three of the series didn’t start out how the Jags would have liked it to. On just the third pitch of the afternoon, Lady Topper Preslie Cruce jacked one over right center to give her squad an early 1-0 lead. That was all Western Kentucky would do for a couple innings. Like in game one, it took South Alabama 4 innings to get on the board. On the first pitch of the bottom of the fourth, Johnson homered to right to knot the game at 1-1.The Jags would load the bases in the inning, but strand
all three runners. The Lady Toppers answered right back in the top of the fifth. After Carla Garcia doubled to left, Caravin Dew reached base and advanced on a throwing error from Hannah Campbell, which also allowed Garcia’s pinch runner to score, giving them the 2-1 lead. Up next was Cruce, who hit an RBI double to left to put the Lady Toppers on top 3-1. Fast forward to the bottom of the seventh, same score and the Jaguars are up to bat in hopes of rallying. With one out, Britany Campbell sent her second pitch over the wall to bring the score to 3-2. However, Messer and Johnson would fly out to end any hopes of a Jaguar victory. The Jaguars’ only opportunity for revenge against the Lady Toppers won’t come unless the two meet in the Sun Belt Conference Tournament. South Alabama is back in action at home Wed. with a doubleheader vs. FIU at 4 p.m. and 6 p.m.
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