SPOTLIGHT ON
FOSTERING A Remarkable Journey It’s been an exciting year. About 12 months ago, we went through panel and completed our assessment to become foster carers. Although the year hasn’t been without its challenges, it’s been highly rewarding and very worthwhile. When I tell people I’m a foster carer, lots of them say it’s something they’ve thought about and would like to get involved in. With that in mind, here’s a closer look at the first year of my fostering journey… As soon as we passed through panel last August, we eagerly awaited the phone call asking us if we were interested in offering a child a home. Our first placement was to provide respite for another carer who had to go to a funeral. I cared for her two boys for the day and it felt kind of scary, like being a childminder but with added responsibility. The day passed quickly and was reasonably easy; at least as easy as it can be when you are looking after two young strangers! Since then, I’ve got
to know the boys well and have enjoyed having them to stay when their carers have been on holiday. It’s been wonderful to watch them grow into more confident lads and see how much they’ve benefitted from a stable environment. Over the year, we’ve provided placements for many children – some for a weekend and others for a bit longer. When we were still quite new to the role, a young man came to us on a more permanent basis. This was our biggest challenge. As new carers, we lacked the experience to cope with some of the challenging behaviours and weren’t knowledgeable enough about the systems in place to be able to access the help and care that our agency were able to offer. The placement broke down and, as a family,
we were faced with feelings of failure. However, the agency’s support network really helped us to get through the aftermath and deal with our feelings. Their support network really benefited us as a family and helped us re-evaluate our whole idea of fostering. It turned a difficult time into a really enlightening experience. We carried out more respite over the next few weeks, before receiving a call about another child. The agency spent a lot of time talking us through this child’s background and needs. They were really encouraging, as they felt he was a really good
match for us. Four months on and they’ve been proven right; this placement is entirely different and works very well within our family. He’s happy living with us and we’re happy to provide him with a loving home and the support he needs to get through difficult times. Foster children face different challenges to our own children. At some level, they know that living with their own parents isn’t possible but, given the choice, they’d still return to their family. This can be challenging, as we have to tread lightly over hurt feelings and difficult backgrounds. Helping these children develop a sense of belonging and positive self-esteem can seem hard at times, but nothing worthwhile ever came easy. In addition to brilliant support, our agency also offers plenty of training opportunities. I attend training days to learn about things like attachment, first aid, being safe and how to deal with the issues facing
children in care. It’s very different to having your own children and yet it’s very rewarding. I feel like we are really making a difference. Fostering is like nothing else I’ve ever done. When I look back at the highs and lows of the year, I feel proud of the journey we’ve undertaken and what we’ve achieved. It’s not easy, but it brings a sense of fulfilment that I don’t get anywhere else. If you have a spare room in your house, and space in your
mind and heart, I’d encourage you to take the first step and make that phone call. With the right support and a willing attitude, you can make a real difference to someone’s life. That’s something to be proud of. To find out more about fostering with my agency, please call Foster Care Associates (FCA) on 0800 169 8388, or visit their website at www.fosterwithfca.co.uk and mention that you read the article in Use Locally Magazine.
(This is a very personal account of my family’s journey to becoming foster carers and as such may not be used elsewhere, without our permission)