Man Stuff

Dannv Velasquez

Man Stuff

My wife called me at work today and asked a favor. To stop by the Hardware Store on my way home, And buy two teacups. I'm not lying.

For me, this goes against everything I know about hardware stores. Things like power tools, hand tools, leather gloves, hunting knives, rifles and ammunition belong in a hardware store.

What is she thinking that I would find teacups amongst - man stuff? Even ifl do, someone who knows me might see me.

Okay, here it is, just park my four-wheel drive in front, by the doors, in case, I need a quick ex.it. Deep breath and don't forget your keys, or do something stupid, like locking them in the truck.

Whew, I don't recognize anyone, and that means no one recognizes me .

There, to the left, girly-looking stuff: ribbons, lace, porcelain, and China teacups, in floral and romantic patterns. Estrogen, where testosterone should flow.

Well, as usual, she's right. Quick, choose two and exit swiftly.

Oh no, the clerk's a man. When I ask for a box for the teacups, he backs up and asks the other clerk, the woman, to ring up my order. I got to get out of here. Feels like my manliness is slipping, falling away. In my haste to leave, the box slips, but I catch it.

I can't get out of here fast enough, burn rubber.

Good thing that pheasant got hit on the hi-way. I'll stop and pick it up, toss it in the back of my truck, take it home, pluck it; tie flies with it's feathers and go fishing.

You know - man stuff.