What’s your major

STEM really isn’t all that.

In case you live under a rock or don’t get the same lectures from your dad that I do, STEM stands for science, technology, engineering, and math. It’s the path that every Asian parent I know wants for their kid, and it’s the path that has been pushed onto me for as long as I can remember.

For a short time, their lofty aspirations drove my future plans. Around the age of 5, I dreamed of becoming a nurse. I was ecstatic to follow a path that my parents deemed acceptable until I found out I would have to handle needles.

I hated needles. My dreams were crushed.

At age 10, I went through my “rebellious” phase when I told my parents I wanted to be a writer, to which I was met with laughter and teasing. Without my parent’s support, I didn’t really take myself seriously. My dreams of authoring a published book faded into the background as I “got serious” about my future plans.

BY TERESA DO ?

At age 13, I took my first computer science class. I used to describe that I “fell in love with coding,” but looking back, that was an exaggeration. My “love” for coding was conditional: I was decent at it, it was a lucrative path, and it was the T in STEM. It was good enough for me.

A perfect career for the perfect Asian daughter.

That isn’t to say that I didn’t enjoy coding as an activity, but when I used the phrase that “I fell in love with coding” on my application to be a computer science major at UT, it was definitely a stretch.

A stretch that UT saw through. I wasn’t accepted into UT for computer science as my first choice major nor was I accepted for electrical engineering as my second. Instead, I was accepted for journalism, my third choice major, the major I had put on there as a tribute to my 10-year-old self.

A tribute that suddenly and drastically changed my life plan.

I remember feeling like the world had ended. Tears rolled down my face as I texted everyone I knew that I had failed. I had pushed myself past the boundaries of physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion from schooling, but it wasn’t enough. The options left were to upend my life here and go into debt studying computer engineering in California or attending UT Austin, hoping that I could transfer into computer science at some point against seemingly impossible odds. With a heavy heart, I chose the latter.

It’s been a semester since that decision;

That’s why I can say with full confidence: STEM really isn’t all that.

That isn’t to put down the STEM girls that did make it. I still wish I were you sometimes. However, I have found so much joy, gratitude, and love for the path that I did end up taking. I find myself talking excitedly with my roommate about the story I’m pursuing or the journalistic techniques I’m learning, feelings I didn’t exactly have when I was pursuing computer science full time.

STEM is important and STEM is necessary, but STEM is not the only path someone can take.

With full transparency, I’m still working on a transfer to computer science. I want to keep my options open (and my dad happy). A part of me still blames myself for “failing” to become the STEM girlie that I envisioned at age 13. However, I don’t necessarily feel the same devastation that I did when I opened up my acceptance letter to UT to find the words “Journalism” written there instead of Computer Science. In fact, looking back on the letter, there’s a sense of pride — pride in knowing that I took a leap with my decision to attend UT Austin for journalism and somehow stuck the landing as I start to learn about a deeply undervalued yet important field. While I still freeze whenever my dad brings up the transfer question, I know that at the end of the day, nothing will bring me more joy than pursuing what makes me happy.

Whether or not that happens to be computer science, journalism, or a weird combination of the two is to be decided, but that decision is mine to make and mine to make alone.

It is with the same joy, gratitude, and love from this decision that I write to AAJA for helping me to see that there is a lot more than STEM out there.

That we all are a lot more than the dreams of our parents.