Volume 40 Issue 10 by University Times

inside this issue:

UMPI goes pet-less Details on p. 5

University of Maine at Presque Isle Volume 40 Issue 10

Getting a bigger nest Details on p. 13

Journalism for Northern Maine

Visit us at utimes.umpi.edu

APRIL 1, 2012

Solar Conspiracy? Many within the UMPI community are aware of the recent addition to Pullen and Folsom Halls in the form of solar panels. These panels were a step in the “green” direction for UMPI and a way to express our commitment to helping the environment. There is, however, a much darker side to the shiny panels. It recently came to light that the panels are not just collecting energy for basic functions. While going through the monthly energy report, officials discovered that a large amount of the energy was

uncovered in the closet. When confronted with information, the psychology department offered this statement: “The machine that was found is merely a microwave oven with which we make television dinners.” Upon closer examination, officials discovered that heating delicious frozen dinners was hardly the machine’s intended purpose. It was, in fact, an energy manipulator. It took electrical energy and converted it into Psy energy. Shortly after the solar panels were put in place, students began reporting strange inci-

going directly to the psychology labs in South Hall. Upon a quick inspection, the labs seemed relatively harmless. That was, until a rather sinister looking machine was

dents. Those students have asked to remain anonymous. A senior student living in Emerson Hall told us, “Well, I just went to sleep one night then, the next thing I knew, I

Cole DuMonthier STAFF WRITER

was at a mall in Texas. Weird, right?” A male in his junior year had

After much deliberation, the experts came to the conclusion that the psychology depart-

a similar experience. He said, “It was Tuesday, I think and I was walking over to my class when, all of the sudden, the world went black. When my vision came back, I was at the top of the Empire State building. Needless to say, I missed classes that day….” It took a panel of experts nearly two weeks to determine that these strange incidents were related. Almost immediately, fingers began to point toward the psychology department and their supposed microwave. Upon closer inspection of the “microwave” and the structure of South Hall itself, the investigation team found not only an energy line going into the hall but also one going back out. The team followed the line and found it eventually stopped at one of the solar panels. After taking down the single solar panel, it became clear that it was anything but that. It was, instead, a radio transmitter.

ment had built a secret mind control device. When asked about this, associate professor of psychology Paul Johnson said, “We were gonna knock them out

and do experiments on them.” So, a shocked community saw a new addition turn from environmentally friendly to mad scientist. As a community, we are now aware of just how easy it is to create a mind control device. In order to safeguard the citizens of Aroostook County, there will be a free “How Not to be Mind-Controlled” seminar scheduled to take place in the near future. As a notice to any students and faculty, you are required to undergo a mandatory brain control test. In the meantime, keep an eye out for more information, and for any more odd happenings.

The University Times Staff Editor Lanette Virtanen Assistant Editor Kayla Ames Stephanie Jellett Staff Writers Kayla Ames Stephanie Corriveau Donna Delong Cole DuMonthier Shara Gardner Sarah Graettinger Kathi Jandreau Stephanie Jellett Taylor Lawrence Mika Ouellette Ben Pinette Jessie Rose Carlos Villoria Lanette Virtanen Brianna Williams Kathleen York

University Times

ampus

April 1, 2012

Dear readers, I want to take this opportunity to say a few words about what stories we put in the paper. As editor of this paper, I try to put stories in that will enrich your lives and leave you feeling happy. I take my job as editor of this paper very seriously and would like to know that I havenʼt had a hand in anything that would upset people. We here at the U Times think that there are enough places where you can go to get the stories that will make you sad or angry. This paper should make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Going to college should be one of the happiest times in your lives and I want to do all that I can to add to that experience. As Bobby McFerrin said, “Donʼt worry, be happy!” Lanette Hi everyone! This may come to a surprise to some of you, but I just wanted to clear up a rumor that has been making its way around campus: the feud between Lanette and Kayla…is true. The two, who were close friends, fought over what should go in the newspaper, leaving Kayla incredibly upset. She told us that she was done with the newspaper and left. We havenʼt seen her since—which is why Iʼm going to be Kaylaʼs voice. “Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters,” as Albert Einstein would say. In the words of Kayla: “The views of some are certainly not the views of all.” Stephanie

Contributors Chris Corsello Jim Stepp

Adviser Dr. J The U Times welcomes submissions from the campus. Send digital versions of articles, photos, etc., to utimes@maine.edu and jacquelyn.lowman@umpi.edu

D at es fo r Subm issi o ns t o t h e U T im es Apr. 23 Any submissions received after a deadline will be published in the following issue. If you have any questions, please contact Dr. Lowman at 768-9745.

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U Times Violates First Amendment Donna Delong STAFF WRITER

There seems to be dissention in the newspaper office that has been brewing for some time. Lanette Virtanen, editor, and Kayla Ames, assistant editor, have come to an impasse. Dr. Lowman, advisor to the newspaper and radio, has not been able to open the lines of communication between the two editors. Ames thinks that her right to free speech is being ignored. Virtanen argues that the newspaper is being handled the way it always has and sees no reason to change. Many people know Ames for her dedication to the University Times. But among the staff she is known for her hot temper and loud outbursts during meetings. “I think the U Times should have more controversial stories. It’s become stagnant with stories of boring campus life. But there are real truths to be told about the faculty, staff and students that are just swept under the rug,” Ames said. Ames has information from anonymous sources with documented proof that some faculty members are practicing

unorthodox teaching as well as mistreating staff and students. They’ve been allowed to run wild and do as they please, despite any rules or regulations that are in place. Ames will not discuss these stories. She

about the nature of some of the allegations “I’ve done my homework and have reliable sources that can show proof of such allegations. I have yet to personally see them, but have much

ty and staff members forced to be a part of it. During a meeting of the U Times, Ames blew up, telling the staff as well as Lowman that she would seek a higher authority if she was not

Kayla Ames, former assistant editor, has turned her back, literally, on the U Times. said that the public needs to know and the U Times is the right forum. After asking her to explain, she did give clues

confidence in their validity,” Ames said. When asked repeatedly for details, she did allude to mistreatment of students and facul-

allowed to run her stories of corruption and abuse within the university walls. “This is a university paper and it should tell all the stories,

even if they are hard to hear,” Ames said. Virtanen was clearly against the use of the material. As editor, she is one of the last people, before Lowman, who has the say of what should be printed. “I have put this paper together for a long time and am responsible for what will be printed. This paper is a university paper and should only be used to tell happy stories. It should inform faculty, staff and students of the good things that are happening. It has no room for such negative reporting,” Virtanen said. Lowman, who has the final say on what will go into the paper, was very upset. She has decided that the best way to handle this uncomfortable situation is to have the newspaper staff ignore Ames and maybe she will go away. Ames is determined to be heard and has said that she will post her stories in the paper or will sue for not being allowed to speak freely. Although we are no closer to finding out the nature of the information that Ames has, she assures us that it will change the way UMPI operates.

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Chrisʼ Corner

PIPD Quizzes 13 UMPI Students Over an ‘Assault’ Officers swooped on Jeffery Nathan’s classroom after sweets thrown cause damage. On Friday, Christine Corsello, vice president and dean of students, got a call from the Presque Isle Police Department who informed Corsello that mayhem had broken out in a classroom and that damage and/or injuries were likely. Corsello went to Pullen Hall to investigate and shortly after her arrival, the Presque Isle Police arrived on the scene and immediately pulled Nathan aside. Witnesses called the police probe “pathetic.” Jeffery’s father Nigel told how he was called by the school to tell him his son was being accused of “common assault” — and would be quizzed as it had become a “police matter.” Fuming Nigel, 45, said: “I asked if anyone had been injured and the police said they weren’t sure as the investigation was still ongoing.” Police did indicate finding troubling evidence in Jeffery’s backpack… a single pink

marshmallow and yellow “peeps” – one with apparent wounds. Police were attempting to determine if the items had come from the crime scene.

The first weapon? Wounded and bloodied – how? “Witness statements were taken from 13 students who had to be taken out of class. And Nathan was transported to the PIPD station in a police car. Unbelievable. “You’d think the police

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would have better things to do with their time than investigate something as trivial as this,“ instructor Imasa Tire, said. Nathan was playing around with pals waiting for the class to begin when “someone” threw a pink marshmallow that hit another student. More marshmallows followed, along with several “peeps.” Next thing you knew, the room was a sticky mess witnesses said. The student hit with the first marshmallow called his parents to complain. They then called and demanded school officials and the cops respond. PIPD sent Sergeant Strong and a police car to the school — even though the cashstrapped force is struggling to maintain a proper service. Ironically, the marshmallow crackdown came at a time when the justice system is being urged to go SOFT on

legions of drug dealers. Nathan’s pals were hauled out of class and told to give statements about the “attack.” Nathan was pulled aside and questioned independently and a search of his backpack quickly ensued. Nigel was asked to go to the school but was stranded at home in Plymouth due to a back operation.

Nigel said: “Jeffrey was forced to write a for mal statement in which he said

he bought the packet of marshmallows but didn’t like them. So he and his friends were messing around with them when one landed on this other boy. Jeffry told me it wasn’t even him who threw the marshmallow. It was his friend.” Jeffrey said: “I didn’t think in a million years it would cause this much trouble. Now I don’t know what will happen.” A police spokesman said an “incident” took place at the school. He added: “Further inquiries are being made and appropriate actions will be taken by school officials and the police department.” Submitted by, Christine Corsello, VP for student affairs and dean of students/athletic direc-

tor. Special thanks to John Coles, The Sun in UK.

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Who Forced the Dogs Out? Jessie Rose STAFF WRITER

Since President Don Zillman announced that he would be retiring, rumors about banning dogs from campus have been circulating. Rumors became reality on March 29, 2012, when it was announced that UMPI would be enforcing a no pet policy starting in the fall. Now that Vinnie and I will not be around anymore, they decided they could start to enforce the policy, since I wouldn’t be here to stop them,” Zillman said. The news is a shock to the UMPI campus, since many of the faculty bring their dogs from time to time. This is an issue that some members of the faculty and staff have wanted to have settled long before now. With Zillman on campus with his dog Vinnie, however, it wasn’t possible to enforce the policy.

Don Zillman with Vinnie.

As word gets around campus that the policy will be enforced starting in the fall, there are mixed feelings. The university senate is denying, however, that this has anything to do with Zillman leaving campus. “It is a shame that it had to come to this,” Zillman said. “Being able to bring your dog to class or to work with you has been something that faculty members have enjoyed. I believe it even helped to keep the morale of the students and staff up.” What will UMPI be like now that there will be a no pet policy in place? This is how the campus was able to stand out, since faculty members could bring their pets. Now UMPI stands to be like every other campus. Will the morale of the students be down? Only time will tell if this has an effect on the UMPI campus: on the students and the faculty.

The Case of the Missing Owl Sarah Graettinger STAFF WRITER

The University of Maine at Presque Isle has a statue that’s been around for years. The statue of three wooden owls has been a vibrant part of UMPI, and now they seem to have disappeared. The statues that were in front of the president’s house have been taken down by construction workers because of years of wear and tear. President Don Zillman spoke at a meeting and described what’s going to become of these statues. “I know that UMPI has been aware that these statues needed to be fixed, but there was just no funding for this. These statues are going to be remembered for other years to come,” Zillman said. The statues were built in honor of UMPI spirit and have provided the community with similar pride and determination. “Now that these statues are gone, there are no words to describe what the community is feeling. They were a vital part of the spirit of UMPI and now that they’ve been taken down,

people are wondering what is going to happen next,” Zillman said. The statues have been recommissioned to a smaller

plaque that is now in the Who’s Hut in the hopes of commemorating them. Students were there to see what the meeting was all about. “The plaque in the Who’s Hut was made out of the wood from the statues. This symbolizes the fact that UMPI has a bunch of pride that will never go away,” Zillman said. Now that the statues are gone, new artists have been thinking about a smaller one that will go in the same place. Local art students have been submitting ideas that might become a statue to be placed in front of President Zillman’s house. “Artists are working hard on drafts of different statues that will represent UMPI. The spirit of UMPI will live on, just in another form,” Zillman said. There are many things that can show school pride and get the community involved. A lot of people are looking forward to figuring out what’s next for the University, and just as many new things are on the horizon.

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Coming Soon: UMPI-TV Mika Ouellette STAFF WRITER

Have you ever wondered why UMPI doesn’t have its own television

show? Well, soon it will. Cable Access Channel 91, or UMPI-TV, will be launched this coming summer. It will be partnered with the U Times and

UMPI New UMPI-TV logo.

WUPI to for m the new UMPI Student Media prog ram. Students who already work for UMPI student media will serve as staff and the station will have its own news show along with reality shows displaying campus life at UMPI. The launch of the television station will also result in a new class being offered at UMPI. PCJ 123: Introduction to Television Media will train the student employees

Have It Your Way Jessie Rose STAFF WRITER

It’s no secret: some people don’t like cafeteria food. Well, for those who would like to have other options, your wait is over. UMPI has been accepting offers from fast food chains to build on the area near student parking. The offer is expected to go to the highest bidder. What does this mean for students? As deals are under way, those involved are looking for the highest bidder to help raise money for the UMPI campus. This means students will have a variety of food services to choose from. It will mean that you don’t have to

leave campus to go get lunch. It will also mean that Late Night, C3 and the cafeteria aren’t the only choices available to you anymore. These benefits will extend to the community as well. We will have a restaurant that isn’t on the other side of town. You won’t have to deal with the traffic that is over by the mall or Wal-Mart. This also means that community members may pay more attention to the campus. “It looks like this addition will benefit everyone,” Alice Peabody, a freshman, said. The highest bids so far are from McDonald’s, Burger King and Wendy’s. Depending on

how this works out, other restaurants might be added in the future. However, officials want to know your opinions. The school is looking for student input on the subject. Who would you like to see on the UMPI campus? Do you have a preference? Students will be given a 50 percent discount to the restaurant that is on campus. The groundbreaking will begin in June of this year so that it will be ready to open once the fall semester begins. Your feedback is welcome and encouraged. Tell us who you would like to see on campus. The ball is in your food court, so to speak.

how to run the television station. For their class project, each of the students will have their own television shows broadcasting their lives at UMPI. They will also be required to work for UMPI News. Instructor Dr. Jacqui Lowman is extremely excited about the new television station. “This is an excellent opportunity for students to learn about and prepare for careers in television media,” Lowman said. Of course, the shows on the station will not be taped entirely by students. UMPI’s new webcam will help provide the television station with real-time news and weather coverage on video. You can already view footage from the webcam on

UMPI’s website, which will be linked to the station’s webpage as a part of the current UMPI Student Media Website. “I can’t wait to launch the new television page of the website,” Lanette Virtanen, an UMPI Student Media employee working on the website, said. So, if you’ve ever dreamed of having a career in television, you’ll soon have a chance here at UMPI. Perhaps you can be the next Barbara Walters or Larry King. If not, you can still enjoy live and local television for the people of the UMPI community, by the people of the UMPI community.

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Raising the Roof Ben Pinette STAFF WRITER

On March 7, Jim Stepp, director of residence life, announced at a Board of Trustees meeting that, because of increased enrollments in oncampus housing, the University will be adding another dorm to the campus. “We’re so excited that we can expand. We’ve had the money saved to do this since 1997. We’ve let it gain interest, and now is the perfect time to start construction on our new residence hall,” Stepp said. The name of the new residence hall was also announced at the meeting. “Because of his hard work in creating an awareness of renewable energy, we’ve decided to name the hall Zillman Hall, in honor of our outgoing President,” Stepp said. Don Zillman, current president of UMPI, was touched by the announcement. “I had no idea that was coming. You could have knocked me over with a feather. I just never knew my impact here at UMPI was so strong. It really means a lot,” Zillman said.

Kayla Ames STAFF WRITER

Students who entered the Merriman Hall laundry room on Friday, March 9, found something they didn’t anticipate. It was not as simple as a broken washing machine or as expected as a pile of clothes. Rather, they found several inches of water – more or less depending on the time of day. The water, a result of melting snow and ice, appears to have been pooling outside the dorm for about a week. When asked if they had noticed the enlarging puddle, a handful of Merriman residents said they had but they weren’t wor-

The new residence hall will be the largest one yet for UMPI. “It will be apartment-style suites, mostly for upperclassman. Sophomores will only

Life,” Stepp said. Zillman Hall will be located directly parallel to Merriman Hall—in what is currently a thick forest of spruce trees. The dorm will have a total of four

be considered if they have a high GPA and put in an appeal to us here at Residence

floors, including a bottom floor with a complete game room equipped with a mini bowling

alley, foosball, ping-pong, a pool table and coin-operated arcade games. Each room will contain a queen memory foam mattress, maple desks and bureaus, a leather couch and a kitchen complete with all stainless steel appliances. Each floor will have digital, coin-operated, energy-efficient laundry rooms. “We’re also going with all hardwood floors because it’s easier to clean for our janitors. Also, like Zillman’s initiative in going green, each dorm room will also have energy-efficient lights and fans. Solar panels on the roof will give the dorm its electricity source,” Stepp said. The first floor of Zillman Hall will have a 24/7 snack bar with seating for at least 50 people. The bar will serve a mix of traditional food, plus ethnic, vegan and Asian meals and much more. “Aarmark, our current food service, has failed to negotiate with us in the snack bar. We will probably have to find someone else, it looks like at this point,”

ried. No one, it seems, saw this coming. “When I was told, I couldn’t believe it. I don’t remember part of a dorm ever flooding, I think because maintenance is good about keeping everything up to date. It must have leaked in somehow,” Jim Stepp, the director of resident life, said. According to maintenance workers, that’s exactly what happened. The water seeped in through a pipe that protrudes from the outer wall, normally where steam comes out. From there, it moved down, dripped into the laundry room and eventually loosened the pipe. Left over night, no one realized what was hap-

pening since the water came in behind the stacked dryers. Sarah Ames, a junior, saw the first signs Friday morning. She alerted an RA, who then told Physical Plant. “I had a lot of laundry to do, but when I came in, the floor was wet. I thought it might just be from someone’s clothes. I looked around, including behind the dryers, and saw water was streaming in. I was afraid it would ruin the washers and dryers, so I told someone right away,” Ames said. The appliances, fortunately, were not damaged. Physical Plant personnel arrived a little before 12 p.m. They figured out the

problem within an hour, then had to repair the pipe and dry the floor. It took about half a day to fix the problem. “We’re talking about ways to prevent this from ever happening again. It may take some time, but we’re here if students have similar problems in the future,” Stepp said. Dorm residents need not worry in the meantime. The laundry room is restored and open for business!

A sneak peek at what Zillman Hall will look like when completed.

UMPI Comes Clean

7 Stepp said. Jannie Durr, assistant director of residence life, is anxious to move into these new surroundings. “I can’t wait to move in to this nice new dorm! It will be nice to have more space for when my family comes to visit more,” Durr said. Vanessa Pearson, the student activities director, who also lives on campus, will be moving into the new dorm as well. “I can’t wait either. It will be so beneficial for the kids to have this place to stay,” Pearson said. Construction of the new dorm will begin sometime in late May of this year, depending on how the weather turns out. Zillman Hall hopes to have its grand opening celebration by early 2013, depending on how difficult next winter is. “Probably the first students to use the new Hall will be our summer students, who will take classes and live on campus,” Stepp said. Zillman says that he plans to come back to Presque Isle next year when the new dorm room is complete to cut the ribbon.

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Sinks to a New Level

Taylor Lawrence STAFF WRITER

After weeks of receiving mail complaining about the weather and having to walk in the cold from one side of campus to the other, the UMPI student senate has decided to support the making of tunnels for the campus. “This was a very hard decision for us to make, but ultimately we had to make the decision based on how popular the issue was and the student’s support for it,” Jessica Stepp, student senate president, said. “I believe the tunnels will

serve the students nicely. They cover tunnels branching from other buildings. “UTC generously offered to have all longed for tunnels for Campus Center to all the build the tunnels for free. quite a while and it would We are one of many be a disappointment if we campuses wishing to couldn’t get them in at have these tunnels, and some point. It’s kind of a they have just updated last ‘hurrah’ from me as their plans to a new syspresident,” UMPI President tem, so they want to try Don Zillman, said. that new system on us. The project wouldn’t The negatives to these be happening, though, if tunnels is that they might it wasn’t for a grant from not work and a single the Underground Tunnel mistake could cause masCorporation. UTC has sive holes on the paths been serving campuses all that lead to Folsomaround America for years, and it’s grant of Student rushing to class through the Pullen, which may lead to the building of little building for free will UMPI tunnels.

bridges,” Stepp, said. The tunnels not working is not expected to be a huge issue. UTC has been providing campuses with tunnels for more than 20 years. The tunnels will be convenient for everyone. “Our hope is that we can keep students happy and also reduce cold and sickness in the end. The tunnels will provide a safer place for students to walk,” Stepp said. Construction is expected to start in late June, when the ground is expected to be least moist, and be finished before the next school year starts.

and the campus fields. Data could be collected from the turbine. Or biological samples might be taken from the outdoor areas around campus. The information or materials gathered could be quickly brought over to the lab and analyzed. Fischer explained that this work could impact a lot of people. “The lab wouldn’t be used by just a few individuals. Whole classes could come in and do mini-projects. The lab will have plenty of space and equipment,” Fischer said. Fischer explained that the lab will be built directly behind Gentile. The FLASC grant

should help with most of the construction needs. Fischer shared that more money will be needed though, to buy additional equipment. “We hope to provide more funding to UMPI in the future to keep up this new facility,” Fischer said. If you’re interested in donating to the project or learning more, contact Fischer at erik.fischer@flasc.org. In May, Fischer hopes to visit the campus to talk about the construction. Please consider attending the conference to see how UMPI will be “bulking up” for this exciting project!

From Sit-ups to Science Stephanie Corriveau STAFF WRITER

It’s almost time for people to start working out in Gentile Hall. But they won’t be using the exercise equipment. On July 1, construction will begin to expand the complex. The addition isn’t going to be a new workout area, but rather a high-tech science lab. Earlier this year, the University received a $500,000 grant for the project. This money comes from an organization called “Financing Lifelong Achievements in Science and Culture.” FLASC-pronounced “flask”-

supports opportunities that’ll increase the amount of scientific research, which may better culture and people’s lives. Erik Fischer, the senior project manager at FLASC, looks forward to working with UMPI. “Building a laboratory will have huge benefits for those at the school and in the community. I’m excited to see the research that will be produced,” Fischer said. Out of all of the buildings on campus, why’s the lab being built in Gentile? Fischer believes that Gentile Hall has the perfect environment for different types of experiments. “There are several projects

that could take place at Gentile. They could focus on many different scientific areas, such as anatomy, biology, chemistry and ecology,” Fischer said. Fischer also said that one of the experiments might involve those who use the gym to exercise. “I could see a researcher taking heart rate measurements. Or a scientist might even want to compare different people’s fitness levels,” Fischer said. Another project example could be taking water samples from the pool. Also, Gentile is very close to the wind turbine

New class to be offered this fall: PARANORMAL STUDIES PSY 104 Tu/Th 2:00-3:15 Dr. DeFelice Folsom 105 Are you ready for conspiracies?

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W, X,Y,Z: Tuition Reduction for You and Me

Shara Gardner STAFF WRITER

The University of Maine at Presque Isle is exploring a new and interesting way to bring i n m o r e s t u d e n t s . Fo r t h e f i r s t t i m e e v e r, a 5 0 percent tuition discount is going to be offered to students whose last n a m e s b e g i n w i t h W, X , Y and Z starting in the f a l l 2 0 1 2 s e m e s t e r. UMPI President Zillman is in complete support of this idea. “I know from personal experience how rough life is for the end of the alphabet students. This will be a g reat incentive to have

them aspire to success and to compete fairly w i t h t h e A , B a n d C ’s , Zillman said. Ja c k S t e w a r t , d i re c tor of field experience and student teaching, also sees the benefits in this. “When I was a teacher in the public schools, I had a student who when given an a p p l e t r e e t o c o l o r, would always color the tree trunk black, the leaves pur ple and the apples orange. I became concerned and finally asked the student why he chose these colors. He told me that since they were seated alpha-

b e t i c a l l y, a n d h i s l a s t n a m e w a s Wi s e , h e w a s always the last student to get to choose his colors. Black, pur ple and orange were all that were left,” Stewart said. “This is really going to give those end-of-thealphabet students a leg up against the others.” The admissions office has also played a key role in helping to implement this new r e c r u i t m e n t s t r a t e g y. “A c c o r d i n g t o t h e U. S . C e n s u s B u r e a u , there is an overf low of high school-aged students over the next five year s whose last names begin with letters

toward the back of the alphabet,” Erin Benson, director of admissions, said. “A n d College Board has discovered that students with last names beginning with W, X , Y a n d Z a r e m o r e likely to earn higher S AT s c o r e s . Wi t h t h e s e two facts in mind, we decided to focus our recruitment efforts to take advantage of a g rowing population.” This is going to be a win-win situation for both UMPI and the upcoming freshmen who fall under this name c a t e g o r y. F i n a l l y, e v e r y one will be on a level playing field.

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April 1, 2012

We’re All Aglow

Kathi L. Jandreau STAFF WRITER

The state of Maine has been under red alert since late Saturday afternoon, when Maine’s Army National Guard’s bomb unit confirmed that there’s an active nuclear warhead located on The Loring Commerce Center. Earlier this week, various groups of local law enforcement, FBI and even the Maine Air National Guard were called into action. Their mission: to deactivate and disarm a still-active thermo-nuclear warhead located on the former Loring Air Force Base in Limestone, Maine. John Tracy, a local man who said he has been exploring the base for years trying to find traces of dangerous chemicals and UFOs, made the discovery. He was walking through a deeper part of the wildlife refuge, located on the base, when he saw thousands of tiny red lights blinking in the distance. Loring “I’ve always known there was something notright over here,” Tracy told one of the agents. “When I saw the red lights, and kept walking toward them, I started to feel really war m. It was instant, and then I

knew there was something big, because it was only 12 degrees out that night.” After his discovery, Tracy wandered throughout the refuge until he could get phone reception. Once he did, he contacted the local police de partment. The first to arrive on scene were Chief Mahan of the Limestone

leading us through these woods, I thought this better not be a scam. But when I felt the rush of instant heat in the air after seeing those red lights, I contacted the state police and the local fire department. We now have a very serious issue to deal with.” The explosive was found by the local fire depart-

Grant spoke on the issue. “Our experts have told us that this thing has triggered and is counting down,” Grant said. “From what we have been told, these warheads have automatic countdown timers that explode the payload in order to stop any would-be thieves from making off with a nuclear weapon. How long it will

ment. Several members in unifor m took shovels and dug down until they hit something. The FBI was contacted immediately along with the Air National Guard. Special Agent Jeff

count down for, we don’t know. All I can say is that the area is not safe, and that we are now under serious alert. We are thinking about evacuation right now. This bomb has probably been buried

Commerce Center. Police De partment and other officers. “At first I thought this man was nut,” Mahan said. “I ke pt my gun drawn. I didn’t trust him. T he whole time he was

here since the late 80s and is active and dangerous.” After several hours, the FBI was able to get a support unit to contain the scene. Colonel John Steele, commander of the ANG unit, Colonel John Steele, said that they’re taking every precaution to the highest measure possible. “The FBI’s highly trained bomb squad is going to be working very hard to disarm this explosive. The Loring Commerce Center and many local cities and towns have been evacuated and Homeland Security has been notified. We ask that the public remain as calm as possible and that, if you have family elsewhere at the moment, to try to get out of the state. I repeat: it is not safe,” Steele said. Experts are now saying that the likelihood of the state of Maine overcoming this is slim to none. The levels of radiation have been increasing throughout the area and chances are this radioactivity has been spreading for years. “I always wondered why they would put a wildlife refuge in the middle of the most wooded state in the U.S.,” Tracy said. “Now we know.”

University Times

ports April 1, 2012

! 13

Turf Wars

Carlos Villoria STAFF WRITER

The athletic department of the University of Maine at Presque Isle received a $7 million anonymous donation to build in the next two ye a r s a n e w s p o r t s c o m plex. This new sports complex is going to contain a soccer turf field,

baseball turf field, softball turf field and indoor batting cages. The new complex will help take to another level the athletics of the University of Maine at P r e s q u e I s l e. “This infor mation will be official in the next couple of weeks. T h a t ’s w h y I c a n ’ t l e t

yo u p u b l i s h m y n a m e, ” a source from the athletic department said. “ We c o u l d n’ t b e l i e v e that something like this happen! But now that we h av e i t , w e ’ r e g o i n g t o start as soon as possible,” another source from the athletic department said. The donor specified

that the complex be called the Christine Corsello Sports Complex, in honor of U M P I ’s c u r r e n t a t h l e t i c director who will be l e av i n g a t t h e e n d o f t h e a c a d e m i c y e a r. W h e n she was reached for comment, Corsello had t h i s t o s a y. “This is an astound-

i n g h o n o r. U M P I w i l l always have a special place in my heart. I plan to visit frequently to see how the complex a n d t e a m s a r e d o i n g. ” These four new facilities will be built behind the tennis courts. Construction is scheduled to start by Ju l y o f 2 0 1 2 .

The layout for the new sports complex, which will feature turf soccer, baseball and solfball fields, indoor batting cages and lots more surprises!

University Times

14 !

oice

April 1, 2012

One Picture Is Worth... Jail Time? Kathleen York STAFF WRITER

How many T-shirts with images on them do you own? How often do you wear them? Do you have any pictures of them posted on the Internet? These are questions that many Internet users will have to start asking themselves since a new bill now prohibits pictures with ads on them. Similar to the recent SOPA, PIPA, ACTA and TPP bills presented to Congress, the new AntiAdvertising Act, or Triple A, was the first to make it through. As very little was known about it until recently, some think that it was intentionally kept under the rug to keep the general public in the dark. Triple A, in a nutshell, is a law that prohibits all images containing copyrighted advertisement. It will give corporations the right to remove any such images. For example, Facebook pictures containing images of brand names such as Coca-Cola, Tim Hortons, music band names, Wal-Mart and video games—just to name a few—will be removed from the site and given a warning. After three warnings,

Facebook or any other social site will ban the personal

account that has the images and blacklist the e-mail used to set up the account. Those who support Triple A say that it’s only the first step in the battle against

online piracy. Those who oppose it say that, instead of it saving industries money, they will lose money. Community members on and around campus are, in general, of a similar mindset. “I’m completely against it,” Kate Asam, a visiting UMPI student, said. “I think it’s a total travesty, but it would depend on what’s being advertised.” “Big name industries are only ruining their chances for free advertising,” Robyn Carter, a local resident, agrees. With the general uproar over Triple A, it’s likely that the government will reevaluate it. But until then, be aware of what pictures get posted on the Internet and what you wear.

Man vs. Wild: A northern Maine Special! Bear Grylls will be on campus for the premier of his latest episode that took place over two days of surviving the Allagash. All are welcome to attend! Presque Isle: Campus Center MPR Thursday, April 5, 7 p.m. For more information contact: U Times office 768-9741

University Times

i fest yl e April 1, 2012

! 15

UFO Government Coverup Uncovered Jim Stepp

CONTRIBUTOR

On June 14, 1947, William Ware Brazel noticed debris on his homestead. His homestead was about 30 miles north of Roswell, N.M. On July 8, 1947, the Roswell Army Air Field public information office reported that a crashed “flying disc” was recovered by members of the 509th Bomb Group. On July 9, 1947 the Roswell Daily Record released a report that a balloon had crashed and was recovered.

For decades people have wondered about what really happened. Today, we have finally found out. The Jones’ Commission, led by former Senator Edward Jones of New Mexico, has reported that the object was, in fact, a flying saucer and two dead aliens and one living alien were recovered. Senator Jones relayed in an interview that the situation was covered up by the government because it feared how the public would have acted. Senator Jones also

One of the dead aliens that was recovered.

stated that it was believed that releasing the information would have ended our chance to reverse design the items found. The surviving alien was 4 foot 2 inches tall and generally looked like a human. Senator Jones also said, “The alien’s skin was a silvery gray in color. Luckily this creature was able to reproduce through asexual means and now there are some 212 of the aliens working for the government producing equipment for the International Space Station.” Several of these aliens Phil the alien, enjoying the have been able to be integrat- nice day outside in the ed into the general public park. through the use of technology. Senator Jones said that at the past presidential elecleast five current senators tions, but would not confirm and two members of the which one. The alien withHouse of Representatives are drew from the election aliens. He further stated that because a few individuals this was OK, because they questioned his home address, were “born” in the U.S. He which was listed as Area 51 also stated that one of the in New Mexico. It has also been found out aliens actually ran in one of by this reporter that several

of these aliens are now working at the University of Maine at Presque Isle. They have been able to take the form of everyday people through the wearing of a specially designed belt. It is very hard to detect these aliens, but it can be done by watching their eating habits. The only Earth food they have been able to adjust to is sugar. So they may be identified by looking for bowls of candy in their office. It has been discovered that these aliens cover up their sugar addictions by keeping bowls or other large containers of candy in their offices. The typical stated reason for these mass candy containers is to attract students to their offices, but the real reason is to provide them with the sugar fixes they so greatly need to survive. For more information on the Roswell incident, please go to http://www.unsolvedmystery.com/2232/

Oh hey, have you checked the date lately? ! A H A H

Gotcha!

April Fools!

HA HA !

Thanks for the memories!