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Around this time last year, I went through the toughest period of my life in terms of my mental health. First my mum was diagnosed with bowel cancer for the for the third time. Then a few

passed, then my brother’s health saw a downturn too. The next few months were filled with bad news and regular visits to the hospital. This immense family stress, combined with uni work, left me feeling powerless and alone. I didn’t share my struggles at home with many other people because I felt like it was unfair of me to unload such a heavy burden on anyone I knew. The effect this had on my mental health was devastating. It was baggage I didn’t want to share, and it made me isolate myself from those I love the most. My brother passed in around November and never really dealing with the death of a loved one in my adult life before, I just became numb. I didn’t know how I was supposed to feel. Then around 2 weeks later after the funeral, my mum’s condition became worse and she was admitted to the hospital full time. When my mum passed a few days later, it crushed me to levels I did not think possible. No matter how much my mum and I disagreed, her presence made me feel whole. Not having her around dealt a major blow to my mental health. I became even more distant from friends, being around family wasn’t enough to make me feel better and I took any possible shift at work to take my mind off the pain. No matter how bad things become mentally for me, I never let anyone in because of how weak it made me feel. It is the biggest regret of my life. But I remember one day I told a friend about my family situation while lying down on the alumni green and I don’t think I’ve felt more relieved and supported before. The burden it took off me and realizing the support networks I had because of this one moment was amazing. While I am still on the road of overcoming my grief and trying to become more open about my experiences, I wanted to share my story so those reading don’t feel afraid of approaching those they hold closest about their mental health.

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