LIFE. BEAUTY. HEALTH
October 2011
THE
BODY
3
ISSUE
WEIGHT FACTS WE ALL SHOULD KNOW ABOUT
Butterfly
page 10
Effect
Break out of your cocoon with fall’s inspired colors
DREAMY SKIN
MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN SOMEONE'S LIFE! See how on page 34
What you can do to achieve a flawless perfection any day
Embracing yourself from within The story of a little girl born in the wrong body
contents // october 2011
{features}
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in this issue 52
within
The Face of Hope
68
Dying with Dignity
By Olivia Grace
By Kate Beckinson
What one person did to stand up for what she believed in allowing others to do the same by following her example.
How one woman wanted to share her Breast Cancer story with the world in hope that her experiences help others.
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Second Nature By Johnathan Goldsteing Story of a little girl born in the wrong body and how her parents embraced her true identity at a young age.
october 2011 // contents
{departments}
radiance 0
The Butterfly Effect
Dreamy Perfect Skin
Beauty & the Beast
8
Eternal Sunshine
20
By Katya Donovan Break out of your cocoon with these fall inspired clothes worn by super model Yuliana.
By Gwen Flamberg Latest products that works wonders for every every skin type to fix any flaw.
By Bella Lee Tame the beast within you and bring out your true beauty with inspirations of the year.
By Ella Greenley You can protect your skin by learning the importance of sunscreen while you are outdoors.
Makeover Surprise By Kamee Lee 3 lucky people picked out of thousands had the luck of the drawn in winning a makeover.
balance 0
Listen to your Body
2
The Ultimate Workout
We’re Gaining Weight
vibrance 31
It’s About Time
Someone Else’s Shoes
37
The Bucket List
By Sarah Bright What you can do to prevent a stroke from happening to you by following these steps.
By Kate Lopez Struggling for time? This workout will help you firm, tone, by doing this one move.
By Michele Bender How to stop it and win the war by reading these 3 important facts on doing about it now.
on the cover THE BODY ISSUE Throughout the magazine are stories, inspirations, and news to help you look great and feel sensational from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet. PHOTOGRAPHY BY TANYA LITTLE STYLING BY KATERINA BURNHAM
By Katya Donovan How to spend quality time with friends with a different getaway for every situation.
By Isa Permalink How one person decided to venture out by trading in her shoes to meet 3 strangers.
By Harold White What to do by making a list of your life goals and getting help in fulfilling those goals.
LIFE. BEAUTY. HEALTH
October 2011
THE
BODY
3
ISSUE
WEIGHT FACTS WE ALL SHOULD KNOW ABOUT
Butterfly
page 10
Effect
Break out of your cocoon with fall’s inspired colors
DREAMY SKIN
MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN SOMEONE'S LIFE! See how on page 34
What you can do to achieve a flawless perfection any day
Embracing yourself from within The story of a little girl born in the wrong body
october 2011
09
within
radiance
{ beauty }
Dreamy Perfect Skin The latest products that work wonderfully for every skin type as well as fixes for imperfections such as breakouts, uneven skin tone, and wrinkles to make you feel young and beautiful again. By Gwen Flamberg
BREAKOUT ALERT!
RADIANT MOISTURIZER
Gatineau Purifying REBALANCING mask A cleansing, balancing, and soothing mask that control and reduce sebum, clarifies skin and minimizes the size of blackheads. In result, skin imperfections are gone, appearance of pores tightens, and skin is soothed for long and lasting softening effect.
Aveeno Positively Radiant Daily Moisturizer SPF 15 This unique daily facial moisturizer with a total soy complex and natural light diffusers works to naturally even out skin tone and quickly reflects light to smooth imperfections and to bring out skin's natural radiance while providing sun protection to prevent further damage. So gentle, it can be used for sensitive skin and every day use. Do not be surprise when your skin falls in love! WALGREENS, $13.49
13EAUTY.COM, $21.90
ANTI-AGING CREAM L'OREAL AGE-PERFECT Age-Perfect is a rejuvenating anti-wrinkle day cream that leaves your skin hydrated, radiant and more smoother. Also, skin behaves youthfully: luminosity is improved and facial features appear rested. Go Ahead and give it a try! TARGET STORES, $17.99
PORE MINIMIZER Clinique INSTANT Pore Minimizer Instantly refines the look of pores with a natural-looking, long-lasting matte finish. It de-shines and resists sweat (humidity too). Wear alone, under or over makeup for a flawless look. Not only that, it has invisible coverage that lasts for a very long time. So get away from that compact mirror and pick up your own instant pore perfector today. EVECARE.COM, $16.50
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NORDSTROM'S
$26.00
QUICK FIX!
BARE Escentuals MINERAL MAKEUP
If you are in a hurry and don't have time for layers of makeup to cover your flaws, BareMinerals does just that. It looks like a powder, but that is as far as the resemblance goes. It feels like a cream and blends flawlessly, giving you the look and feel of bare skin to simply cover imperfections perfectly.
outfit
No. 1
FOR WARM FALL DAYS & NIGHTS
$24.99 HIGH-WAISTED BELT
A strudded white belt that gives an emphasis to your silhouette for a flirty look. GET THE LOOK: talbots.com
$40 BUTTON UP DRESS
A great way to put on a light weighted dress for the start of fall season’s cooler air. GET THE LOOK: macys.com
$59 Buckle SANDLES
To make this great outfit look complete add in H&M’s high sandal shoes GET THE LOOK: h&m.com
balance
{ health }
Nº.
Are You At a
Healthy Weight? Body mass index is a formula that determines body weight relative to height and gives a relation of total body fat. To find your BMI, multiply your weight in pounds by the number 730, divide the number of height (inches) and again divide that number of height in inches again. If BMI falls between (18.524.9), it is healthy weight, (25-29.9) overweight; if (30 or higher), you're thought obese.
1
WE’RE USING OUR GENES AS AN EXCUSE. Some people blame weight gain on their DNA, and that has some merit − but it’s not the only primary reason. Genes can play a role in how your body burns calories and stores fat, and therefore helps determine your perception to becoming overweight. Yet there is a big culprit than our chomosomes, say experts, which our behavior, is characteristically the unhealthy lifestyle choices we make in life.
What you can do now
Refuse to let heredity keep you from adjusting your diet and excercise habits so you can slim down. It's true that you may never become a size 2 or 4, but you can still lose some weight.
Why We’re Gaining Weight When it comes to weight, we’re a nation way out of balance. Prevent it by reading 3 important facts on winning this war. By Michele Bender
Nº.
2
WE’RE EATING BIGGER PORTIONS. Since the 1970s, portion sizes for every packaged food except bread have increased some by as much as 100 percent. Eating bigger portions means we are consuming more calories − 400 since the 1980s, in fact. Most of us don’t keep track of our daily calories unfortunately.
What you can do now
Writing down what you eat in a daily food journal is the best way to increase awareness of what and how much you are eating. Keep yourself lean by filling less food at every meal.
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Nº.
3
WE’RE SLEEP-DEPRIVED. With our busy go lives, we often skimp on sleep in order to squeeze everything in. Studies show that the duration of sleep in our population has been decreasing over the last 3 decades to the point where we're falling short by more than an hour per night. On average, women who sleep 5 hours or less a night are 32 percent more likely to gain weight and 15 percent to become obese.
What you can do now
Get more shut-eye by going to bed earlier. At first it may seem hard to fall asleep before your normal time, but after about a week your body will get used to it and you will feel fantastic.
outfit
No. 2
FOR COLD FALL DAYS & NIGHTS
$39.99 Wooly Jacket
If the air is a little nippy for your date, put on this jacket and still come off stylish. GET THE LOOK: talbots.com
$17.99 Wooden beads
Beads to accessorize your outfit which makes it fun, flirty, and also fashionable. GET THE LOOK: talbots.com
$27.99 BUtton up Shirt
Slightly different hue from the skirt this classic shirt makes it enchaniting. GET THE LOOK: talbots.com
$29.99 UNIQLO SKIRT
Tailored with detailed stitching transforms this skirt into high end but affordable look. GET THE LOOK: macys.com
$59 Buckle SANDLES
To make this great outfit look complete add in H&M’s high sandal shoes GET THE LOOK: h&m.com
vibrance
{ life }
Someone Else's Shoes How one person decided to venture out of her comfort zone by trading in her shoes with 3 strangers and along the way learned that not everything is what it seems based on appearances. By Issa Permalink Thinking about being someone else is,
surprisingly, nothing unusual or uncommon. I believe in reality, people are all born carrying a fate of their own. There are millions of people out there with a different race, different social status, different nationality, and so on. Thus, a different life awaits each one of us. This is why, it's normal for people to get anxious about life in their own lives, and this anxiety leads to the thought of how great it would be if they could be someone else. So I took that self-challenge and ventured out in meeting three people that I have never met before, getting to know these extraordinary people. This is their stories and experiences. You decide what to do about it.
The PLEDGE
Day 1
Day 2
Day 3
I spent one day with a child that had Aspergers. Because they tend to physically look like other kids, it can be like having an invisible disability. Children are quickly judged for their extreme behaviors in public by strangers which is assumed it is the parents' fault. But families that have to deal with it day in and out makes them better parents.
This is a story about a man that lost his job, his home, and his family in one year. It broke my heart knowing that there are many out in the world that can not get back to normalcy because the way how they look. So I decided to arrange a new suit, a haircut, and an interview for him and at the end of the day, it all worked out.
Spending my one day with a single mom and her three children was a pleasure, but at the same time exhausting. With only one parent in the picture, she was doing twice the work as well as working as a nurse at a local hospital to make ends meets. I commend her for her capacity to keep things together neatly without ever giving up.
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I, challenge myself to trade in my shoes getting to know a person who I have a hard time understanding or can not see the way they live. I WANT to do this without scorn and prompt judgment, but with empathy and benevolence. For one day: Hang out where they go. Dress the way they do. Live as though I am them.
outfit
No. 3
FOR NIPPY FALL DAYS & NIGHTS
$28.99 CAPE STYLE Jacket
If the air is a little nippy for your date, put on this jacket and still come off stylish. GET THE LOOK: target.com
$36 40's Fedora Hat
A hat that is timeless even when it is fitted along with modern appearances. GET THE LOOK: talbots.com
$24.99 Waisted tie dress
A neutral colored dress that blends well with the colors of fall while looking great. GET THE LOOK: pennys.com
$15.99 Gold chain necklace
Add this dazzling necklace that makes any outflt look good just by wearing it . GET THE LOOK: 21com
$59 High knee boots
To make this great outfit look complete add in H&M’s styled knee boots. GET THE LOOK: h&m.com
second nature The story of a local family raising a little girl born in the wrong body and their journey to discovering their new young daughter through the years. By Johnathan Goldstein One afternoon last August,
a Boulder County public school hosted an extraordinary parent-teacher meet. Inside the brick, single-story school in the shadow of Flatirons, faculty gathered to hear from one parent, Judy Martin. Martin had asked for the gathering. The way this 42-year-old mother had framed her requests to talk to the principal, and in a turn, district’s administrators, there wasn’t much of a choice. It would be provident before the school year got rolling—before there were chances for awkward situations, like, say, concerns over pronouns, or the bathroom, or the possibility of much more traumatic incidents—that Martin be allowed to provide the back story of her daughter to everyone at the school who might interact with her.
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And so, on that late summer day, after tea and chitchat, the meeting began with an introduction from the district’s director of diversity and equity, who reminded the audience of the district’s no-discrimination policy, in particular a part: “Gender identity refers to one’s understanding, outlook and feelings about either one is female or male, regardless of one’s biological sex. A transgender or gender-nonconforming students has the right to dress in an accordance with the gender identity and expression that the student constantly asserts at school within the constraints of the school’s dress code.” After taking a deep breath, Martin gave her presentation. The last thing Martin wanted to do was alarm or repel anyone. Transgender people, she said, often feel like they are
trapped in someone else’s skin, an inescapable feeling, she explained, the therapists call “gender dysphoria.” Her little girl, a student, Lucia, used to be a male. Her name used to be Luc, but now, simply put, she was Lucia, and she wanted to be treated like any other girl at school and at home. Weeks earlier, when Martin had informed the principal and Lucia’s teacher of details, both had responded with empathy and, as Martin says, immediately seemed to “get it.” She hoped to receive a supportive response from the rest of the staff—after all, this was in Boulder County. But as Martin spoke that
H
F
OPE OF THE UTURE “I think we have done a good job of insulating Lucia from the way the world could be for her, of creating a cocoon,” Judy told me not long after we first met. “But I’m also trying to prepare her.” This was all about three years ago, when the Martin family agreed to talk with me and began allowing me to visit with Lucia. Sharing their story, the Martins' hope, might help other families with a child not feel as isolated as they have felt; maybe their story will change about of transgender individuals, and that might make lives a little safer for Lucia. The Martins asked that their
Her little girl, Lucia, had been born as a male. Her name used to be Luc, but now, simply put, she was Lucia, and she wanted to be treated like any other girl at school. afternoon she glimpsed some people in the audience shift in their chairs and smile half smiles. She’d anticipated some sort of reaction. Martin was not naïve. She understood while she was addressing an open-minded group that supported rights of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people, she had recognized, that this was not your “typical” transgender situation: Lucia was a 10-year old fifth-grader, not a high school student. In transgender shorthand, “transition” is from M2F or F2M. Lucia, change might be more described as B2G, as boy-to-girl. She had begun transitioning as a second grader at age of eight. Having to explained arrival of their new daughter to friends and family. She suspected people wondered: Are you positive? Does that mean your 10-year-old has had sexual reassignment surgery? Are you sure you’re not pushing this child? The Martins themselves had been through similar emotions. “You hear, there’s no manual for raising a child. Well, there is certainly no manual for us.” Lucia’s future—sleepovers and school dances, dating and college, not to mention the drug therapies and the surgery. But on an August day, as summer faded into fall and the promise of change was in the air, Judy just wanted the meeting to go well. Yet she couldn’t shake what a friend had said to her a few days back. “Just in case, you might want to think about a Plan B.”
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names and certain details, like Lucia’s school and exact town, not be revealed. “We don’t want to go out of our way,” Martin says, “to invite trouble into our lives and community.” Lucia Martin loves the color pink, she can barely stop to breathe when she talks, and she resembles the actress Dakota Fanning. Like the little Hollywood starlet, Lucia’s hair is long and blond, she has high cheekbones, her wide eyes are an almost neon blue, and her skin is so fair that it’s nearly translucent. On an unseasonably warm winter afternoon Lucia is wearing jeans, a billowy blouse, and platform sandals. Lucia is accessorized with a floppy reddish corduroy hat, and her pink
scarf matches the pink polish that’s begun to flake on the nails of her toes and fingers. A few days before Christmas, the four of us are sitting in the Martins’ dining room, while Lucia’s gushing what is on her wish list. Lucia’s iplaythings and interests are the windows into a person she is. In her Littlest Pet Shop, she cares for creatures who need help navigating the maze. In her filmmaking hobby, there is an ability to create her world where a heroe bend nature and the endings are just. And in her passion for shapes, there is Lucia’s concern with how appearances are, which is why seeing herself before her transition tends to make Lucia uneasy.
P AST M EMORIES
The first picture ever taken of their Lucia is not a picture at all. It is an ultrasound image cap-tured in the fall of 1996. Judy could not wait to tell Michael, who was at work. “This was back when they had fax machines. The nurse drew a circle and an arrow to a circle and wrote ‘penis’ on the ultrasound." Then, when the fax came through Michael’s office, all of his buddies came up to him and were like, ‘Dude! Congratulations!’” A decade later, in the Martin family dining room, Judy asks her daughter if she would mind if we could look at an old family photo album. Lucia shrugs, but she understands. In the pictures, Lucia is a chubby boy, often in denim, with hair on his head sticking straight up. “Do you remember when people used to see your hair and ask me if you’d stuck your finger in an electrical outlet?” Judy asks. Oh, here’s a shot of Luc on his first birthday, surrounded by family, with a slice of chocolate cake. Michael is in the frame, hovering over
TRANSGENDER AMERICA During the past 15 years, transgendered Americans been gaining unprecedented acceptance and moving slowly from our society’s fringes into mainstream. Some of the most visible evidence of the movement, and of the shifting cultural perspective on it, has been in movies. In 1992, The Crying Game earned an Academy Award; with the dramatic revelation that a character was transgender, the movie made what was then subculture part of the nation’s watercooler conversation. In the national news media, major television networks and newsmagazines have reported on the subject.
his son with a smile. And here’s Luc, age 4, at a pumpkin patch, with Michael and some extended family. Judy is not in most of the pictures because she’s the one holding the camera, the one who organized the shoots. “I wanted everyone to be happy,” Judy says, He appeared to be miserable, like he rather be somewhere else. Judy'd never dreamed that Lucia wanted to be someone else.
D ISCONTENTMENT
“I know it’s stupid to make generalizations,” Judy says, “but looking back on Lucia’s first years, there was this overwhelming feeling of discontent. It was impossible to make our kid happy. Nothing. Not a Happy Meal from
“I think we have done a good job of insulating Lucia from the way the world could be for her, of creating a cocoon,” Lucia’s mom says. “But I’m also trying to prepare her.”
McDonalds, not an outing to the zoo.” The years were a blur of tantrums and tears. 14 months after Lucia was born, the Martins'd their second child, a girl, Kelly. The Martins figured that perhaps Luc’s behavior was to the new baby. Judy and Michael redoubled their efforts to be equitable with their time and attention, but people outside the house began to notice Luc's unrest. At the suggestion of a relative, the Martins had Luc tested for admission to a local private academy. The results, Judy says, indicated that Luc was a bright child but seemed to harbored a lot of anxiety, anger, and stress. “Only 60 percent of stuff made him happy,” Judy says. “Then 40 percent made him happy. By age four, nothing made the child happy.” Simple choices—decisions that for most kids are pleasant and fun—were painful for four-year-old Lucia. Let loose in a field with his family to pick out pumpkins, he couldn't find one that satisfied him. He’d say, “What about this one? I like this one better. No this one. There’s too many!” Looking at the picture of Luc and family at the pumpkin patch today, Lucia says, “I couldn’t find one I liked. They were either too big or too small.” By the time Luc was five he was, Judy recalls, obsessed with “super-perfect” and “superclean,” and he did not like to be alone. Luc’s discontent and anger intensified in the first grade. The seven-year-old threw public fits. There was one breakdown over forgotten school lunch, and another “freak out” during a trip to the barber, with “Luc screaming that he didn't want his hair cut,” Judy says. At home, meltdowns became a
WHAT GENDER SYMBOL ARE YOU?
MALE
FEMALE
FEMALE 2 MALE
MALE 2 FEMALE
TRANSGENDER
Shield and spear of the Roman god Mars, which is an alchemical symbol for iron, represents the male.
A symbol of Roman goddess Venus is often used to represent the female that also means Latin femella.
A combination of Roman gods Mars and Venus, symbol represents a female trapped in a male.
Also a combination of Roman gods Mars and Venus, the symbol represents a male trapped in a female.
State of one’s “gender identity” (self-identity as woman, man, neither or both) in one main whole symbol.
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ordeal. “He would fly at me, screaming, head down,” Michael says. “I would have to wrap my arms around him and restrain him.” Confronted with the realization that Luc’s behavior could no longer be boy-being-boy, Judy turned to the family’s pediatrician, Dr. Jeff Richker, for help. “What I saw was anxiety, extreme anxiety,” he says, “and I wanted to treat that.” In 2005, about year after Luc began taking an antidepressant, Judy found Luc, in his bedroom closet, with a kid's tool box that had been given to him as a gift. He was crying and holding the metal blade of the saw over his bare wrist. Judy ran to him quickly and grabbed the saw. She asked what was going on. “There are too many expectations,” Luc said. Then he repeated, “There are too many expectations.” He was crying. “I don’t think there is a place for me in this world.” Recalling that day, Judy says, “I don’t know that Luc even knew intellectually what suicide was, how to do it on the wrists.” Judy didn’t want to ignore warning signal. “Can you imagine?” she says. “This was a child who was seven. Judy stops talking and allows herself only a couple of tears before she wipes them.
T HE T URNING P OINT
Luc’s word shook his parents, who became terrified that he might hurt himself. He was now fighting violently with his young sister, Kelly. Judy kept Luc home from school and attempted to homeschool him and give her son more attention. Judy and Michael even sent Kelly, who had been patient with Luc’s behavior, to live temporarily with a relative. In the spring of 2005, Judy took Luc to see a Dr. Holden, child clinical psychologist who has been practicing since 1980. In her Denver office, Dr. Holden saw Luc twice per week for almost a month, administering an emotional, developmental, and behaviorals tests. “I was doing a complete evaluation,” Holden says. “Considering the spectrums.” Holden saw that Luc’s moods were poorly regulated,” therapist-talk for overreaction and irritability. Initially, she suspected that Luc might be bipolar, but Holden changed her opinion. “Luc’s unstable mood,” Holden says, “was coming from a very strong sense of not being understood around genders.” There was never a session Luc came and walked in and stated that he wanted to be a girl. “He didn't use those exact words, but definitely expressed feeling a need to show
“There are too many expectations," Luc said Then he cried. "I don’t think there is a place for me in this world, I don't want to live.” himself to the world as a female, not a male. Luc “is the most clear” case of gender dyshoria Holden’s seen. “From a beginning, Luc exuded extraordinary feminine elegance.” Judy and Michael were both present for official diagnosis. They listened as the doctor told them that Luc was unhappy by his birth sex, that he did not identify with his anatomy. The couple looked at each other, dumbfounded. Capably, they comprehend the definition of gender dysphoria, but in terms of their child’s life, they had no idea what it meant. Michael says. “It was more of a question of, ‘Okay, what do we do?’” Judy stopped taking Lucia to the barber, and started taking him shopping, in picking out what clothes he wanted. He picked out dresses and blouses—most “girly” clothing he could find. He would twirled about the house, looking at himself in the mirror. His hair was growing out. For the first time, in the longest time, Judy says, he was happy. When Michael came home from work, Luc whirled up to the door, wild for an opinion. Michael stood in the family room of the home for a long few seconds. Judy looked
into Michael’s eyes, conveying the message: This is our daughter, she looks very pretty, right? In that moment, it all became so real. Michael no longer had his son; he had just met his new daughter.
A CCEPTANCE
Now, these days Lucia tries not to smile. Her adult teeth are finding their place, and she is self-conscious about the appearance. At the moment, however, despite her determined efforts, she can not help herself. It’s a bright, brisk winter morning; Lucia, seated with her fellow fifth-graders and the class is about to show off their violin skills. Lucia is wearing a pink scarf and is the only child in the group whose violin bow is pink. Watching Lucia play the violin that morning with her class, seeing her bow moving in perfect time with everyone else, seeing her smile, conjured up a memory of something she had said to me last October. She talked about how she and a friend were planning to dress for Halloween. She said they were going out as the Chinese symbol of yin and yang. She said, “It means balance.” the end
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