Flourish Magazine

FLOURISH

10

Healthy Fast Food Restaurants

October 2011

HEADACHE RELIEF Six simple yoga poses that to help with headache relief

PUCKER

How to give your best possible kiss

SECOND NATURE The story of a local family raising a little girl born in the wrong body and their journey to discovering their new young son.

FLOURISH

CONTENTS

O FEATURES Second Nature The story of a local family raising a little boy born in the wrong body and their journey to discovering their new young daughter.

Story by JOHNATHAN GOLDSTEIN

44

34 Wife Confessions Women’s real-life stories became the new internet sensation. Three women reveal their dagerous secrets through their blogging addictions.

Story by HEIDI SCRIMGEOUR

Overcome the Odds Real women who overcame real obstacles to embrace everything life has to offer.

Story by EVELYN MOORE

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OCTOBER 2011

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CONTENTS DEPARTMENTS Heart Rate

Yoga Mind Headache? Practice some of these simple yoga poses to give headache releif.

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Story by TRISH ALLEN

P90X Craze 6 moves to tone you up and keep your body guessing whats next.

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Story by KAREN SMITH

Taste Buds

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Fast & Healthy On the go? Trying to eat healthy?

Here are the top !0 healthiest fast food restaurants in America.

Story by CHRIS MORGAN

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?

Live Life

EVERY ISSUE

Story by TRISH ALLEN

Editor’s Note Your Letter’s Recipe of the Month

How to prep your meals for you and your family for the week to maintain a healthy diet for everyone.

ON THE COVER

Guess What

How 2 Kiss

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Story by KAREN SMITH

Lobby Hobby Spare time? Here are some hobby ideas to help fill your time Story by SUSAN LEE

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Healthy Fast Food 28 Headache Relief 20 Pucker Up 30 Second Nature 34 COVER PHOTOGRAPHY by Heather Calley

Are you kissing at your greatest potential? Find out how...

5 6 10

Heart Rate

YogaMind

Headache? Practice some of these simple yoga poses to give headache releif.

Tree pose

Cresent pose

Full boat pose

It’s probably the most simple of yoga moves, yet one of the most effective developing your posture and balancing the mind.

This manoeuvre focuses on strengthening your legs and increasing flexibility.

No rowing required — it’s easier than it sounds, we promise, and if you stick these beginner tricks, you’re guaranteed to see tummy toning results.

How to get there: “Shift your weight slightly onto the left foot, keeping the inner foot firm to the floor, and bend your right knee,” Lisa Rancan says.

“Reach down with your right hand and clasp your right ankle. Plant your bent knee against the thigh and once stable lift arms towards the sky, with palms facing each other.”

Results: The tree pose is best for assisting with balance, stability and has a fullbody calming effect.

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OCTOBER 2011

How to get there: “From a forward bend, bend your knees and, with an inhale, step your left foot, with the ball of the foot on the floor,” Adele Rancan says.

“Step back far enough so that your right knee can form a right angle. Keep remaining leg straight.”

Results: Opens hips, prevents lower back pain and strengthens thigh muscles.

How to get there: “Sit on the floor with your legs straight in front of you. Press your hands on the floor a little behind your hips,” Adele Rancan says. “Lift through the top of the sternum and lean back slightly. As you do this make sure your back doesn’t round.”

Results: Lymphatic drainage, core strength including tummy toning and abdominal strengthening.

Downwardfacing dog The downward-facing dog is best for building upper-body strength and chiselling away unwanted fat on your arms.

How to get there: “Come onto the floor on your hands and knees.

Set your knees directly below your hips and your hands slightly forward of your shoulders,” Lisa Rancan says.

“Spread your palms, index fingers parallel or slightly turned out, and turn your toes under.

Step on feet and hands and lift your hips.”

Results: This all-over stretch build s arm and leg strength, and tightens body all over.

Trikonasana

Chair Pose

Trik-a-what? Pronounced as tree-cone-ah-sa-na, this yoga move involves deep breathing and maneuvering at the hips to touch your toes. If you can’t touch your toes, tiptoe your way down and go as far as you can.

This is an easy-peasy yoga move, which you will give you a tightly toned booty. Don’t delay, start today.

How to get there: “Stand straight and tall with feet hip-width apart.

With an exhalation, step or lightly jump your legs apart,” Lisa Rancan says. “Raise your arms parallel to the floor and reach them actively out to the sides, shoulder blades-wide, palms down. Lean towards the foot, from the hips.”

Results: Calming and stress reliving, this pose increases upper-body flexibility.

How to get there: “Stand straight and tall with feet hip-width apart.

Inhale and raise your arms perpendicular to the floor,” Lisa Rancan says. “Keep the arms parallel and vertical, palms facing inward, exhale and bend your knees as if to sit in an imaginary chair.”

Results: This pose strengthens ankles, buttocks and the upper back.

Story by TRISH ALLEN

Taste Buds

&

Fast Healthy On the go? Trying to eat healthy? Here are the top 10 healthiest fast food restaurants in America.

This bakery-cafe-based eatery wowed our judges with a comprehensive menu of healthy choices for every meal. “Variety makes it easy for everyone to choose healthy,” praises registered diet

What sets Corner Bakery apart? A fantastic breakfast menu, which is rare in the quick-serve world. We love the Farmer’s Scrambler: eggs scrambled with red and green bell peppers, red onion, mushrooms,

Among the big burger-based chains, McDonald’s is leading the way in overhauling its menu to offer more heart- and waist-friendly fare. Take the Happy Meals, which you can order with a side of apple

You may have noticed that Bajastyle Mexican cuisine—think: fresh ingredients and fish instead of beef and chicken—is a growing trend. Whole grains are easy to get here, with whole-wheat.

How did this up-and-comer snag second place? Largely because of its devotion to organic food: About one-fifth of all its ingredients are organic, from blue-corn tortilla chips and whole-wheat wraps to field greens and spinach.

Buffet-style Chipotle gives every customer complete control over her burrito, taco, or salad. (Take that, Taco Bell!) And you get to build it with fresh, local ingredients. In fact, Chipolte won high marks for its commitment to food.

OK, we all know that bagels are pretty high-carb, but slathering cream cheese or butter on them is what really gets you into trouble.

No worries at this chain: Einstein

Noodles and Company isn’t your typical greasy Asian food-court joint. In fact, it goes beyond Asian fare and cuts out the grease (only healthy soybean oil is used in sauteing). Here, you choose from three food types: Scrambler: eggs Story by CHRIS MORGAN

A pioneer in healthy fast food, Au Bon Pain serves up sandwiches, soups, salads, and hot entrees made with whole grains, veggies, and hormone-free chicken.

Scrambler: eggs scrambled with red and green bell peppers, red onion, mushrooms, potatoes, and Cheddar cheese.

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OCTOBER 2011

Someone at Atlanta Bread must be a Seinfeld fan: There are muffin tops (half the size of regular muffins) on its breakfast menu—the low-fat pumpkin muffin top .

?

Guess What

How 22Kiss

That’s so

Embarrassing!

Pucker up! Are you giving your best possible kisses? Here are some quick tips on how to give your best kiss.

1 Establish a physical connection by placing your hands on your partner’s body. Placement depends on the dynamic between you, you can softly touch the face, the back of the neck or the shoulders. Be gentle with your touch if this is the first contact you are making. Stay away from “high risk” zones on your partners body, as you just want to indicate that you are interested in kissing them, not give them a full body search.

2 Establish and maintain eye contact from this point on. The eyes are often a clear indicator if someone wants to be kissed, or is thinking about kissing you. Try to look at your partner with a deep, yet soft gaze. Use your eyes to send them a message that shows how you feel for your partner, e.g., “I care for you, I am on fire when I look at you, I want to kiss you.”

Body Language Make eye contact and allow it to linger for a few moments longer than you normally would Body language means everything. Turn your head slightly and lean towards your partner.

Find ways to subtly (but respectfully) touch your partner

Slightly part your lips

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OCTOBER 2011

3 As you lean in, you may want to tilt your body and head to accommodate your partner’s positioning. One partner will have to make room for the other, or both partners can just slightly tilt heads in opposite directions. Basically you are just trying to avoid a nose collision as you get closer, so just pick a side to turn to and don’t give it too much thought.

Story by KAREN SMITH

FOR SALE? My boyfriend and I were looking for houses. We saw this cute little house by a bakery!! I just love cake. We opened the door and started looking around. All of a sudden someone came in and said. “What are you doing in my house?” It turned out that the owner of the house had just moved there and was only there to lock it up, she had forgotten to take the for sale sign off.

-Angie

HANGING OUT Ok. This is the most um embarrassing moment ever (but also somewhat rewarding). So skiing with my best friend and this guy that i had a HUGE crush on had come along. So I’m skiing and I fall and I’m sprawled all over the place and i walk up get my ski’s and make a mental note to switch to snow boarding. So I’m walking back up the lift and like 15 ft in the air I fall off! so then I’m just really pissed so I’m careful on this lift I walk up back to the lodge and my crush and best friend (not to mention everyone in the lodge) was like staring at me and my crush was drooling.

- Jess

GRABBING BLINDLY I was at the mall with my husband , I was ordering a soda at a fast food restaurant thinking he was beside me I got the urge to grab his butt.. Me being in a rather cheeky mood, I did...

Just a few minutes before my husband had said “ Honey, I will be right back”. and walked away. I did not here this... So, I grabbed the guy standing next to me only it wasn’t his butt it was his groin... He got a great kick outta it and said “He needed to come to the mall more often”. and as did his friends they asked if I was single. The guy taking the order l was laughing so hard he was crying. My husband thought it was the best thing that had happened all yr.

I was mortified....

- Marcie

Second Nature The story of a local family raising a little girl born in the wrong body and their journey to discovering their new young son.

O Story by Johnathan Goldstein Photos by Heather Calley

One afternoon last August, a Boulder County public school hosted an extraordinary parent-teacher meeting.

Inside the brick, single-story school in the shadow of the Flatirons, the faculty gathered to hear from one parent, Judy Martin. Martin had asked for the gathering. The way the 42-year-old mother had framed her request to the principal, and in turn to the school district’s administrators, there really wasn’t much of a choice. It would be prudent before the school year got rolling—before there were any chances for awkward situations, like, say, issues over pronouns, or the bathroom, or the possibility of much more traumatic incidents—that Martin be permitted to provide the back story of her daughter to everyone at the school who might interact with her.

And so, on that late summer day, after the warm-up of tea and chitchat, the meeting began with an introduction from the school district’s director of diversity and equity, who reminded the audience of the district’s no-discrimination policy, in particular the part that reads: “Gender identity refers to one’s understanding, outlook and feelings about whether one is female or male, regardless of one’s biological sex. A transgender or gender-nonconforming student has the right to dress in accordance with

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OCTOBER 2011

Her little girl, Lucia, had been born as a male.

Her name used to be Luc, but now, simply put, she was Lucia, and she wanted to be treated like any other girl at school.

the gender identity and expression that the student consistently asserts at school within the constraints of the school’s dress code.”

After taking a deep breath, Martin gave her presentation. Although her heart and mind were racing, she was careful not to rush herself or her audience. The last thing Martin wanted to do was alarm or repel anyone.

Transgender people, she said, often feel like they are trapped in someone else’s skin—an inescapable feeling, she explained, that therapists call “gender dysphoria.” Martin then eased into the point: Her little girl, their student, Lucia, had been born as a male. Her name used to be Luc, but now, simply put, she was Lucia, and she wanted to be treated like any other girl at school.

Weeks earlier, when Martin had informed the principal and Lucia’s teacher of the details, both had responded with empathy and, as Martin says, immediately seemed to “get it.” She hoped to receive an equally supportive response from the rest of the staff—after all, this was Boulder County. But as Martin spoke that afternoon she glimpsed some of the audience shift in the aluminum-folding chairs and smile half-smiles. She’d anticipated some of this sort of reaction.

Martin was optimistic, not naïve. She understood that while she was addressing an open-minded group that supported the rights of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and

transgender people, she recognized, too, that this wasn’t your “typical” transgender situation: Lucia wasn’t a junior high or high school student. She was a 10-year-old fifth-grader.

In transgender shorthand, one makes the “transition” from M2F or F2M. In Lucia’s case, though, the change might be more aptly described as B2G, as in boy-to-girl. She’d begun transitioning as a second-grader at the age of eight. Having explained the arrival of their new daughter to friends and family, Lucia’s mom had seen her share of perplexed expressions and confusion. She suspected people wondered things like: Really, are you positive? Does that mean your 10-year-old has had sexual reassignment surgery? Are you sure you’re not pushing this child?

The Martins themselves had been through similar emotions. “You hear parents say there’s no manual for raising a child,” Judy Martin told me not long after the school meeting. “Well, there’s certainly no manual for us.” Lucia’s future—the sleepovers, school dances, dating, and college, not to mention the controversial drug therapies and the surgery—are always on her parents’ minds. But on that particular August day, as summer faded into autumn and the promise of change was in the air, Judy just wanted the meeting to go well and for everyone to respect her daughter. Yet she couldn’t shake what a friend had said to her a few days back when the two were discussing the faculty address: “Everything will probably go as you expect it will, but, just in case, you might want to think about a Plan B.”

TRANSGENDER PROGRESSION During the past 15 years, transgender Americans have been gaining unprecedented acceptance and moving slowly from society’s fringes into the mainstream. Some of the most visible evidence of the movement, and of the shifting cultural perspective on it, has been in the movies. In 1992, The Crying Game earned an Academy Award; with the dramatic revelation that a pivotal character was transgender, the movie made what was then a subculture part of the nation’s water-cooler conversation. A little more than a decade later, in 2005, being transgender wasn’t merely a gasp-inducing denouement; rather, it was the story: In the critical and commercial hit Transamerica, Felicity Huffman starred as a middleaged M2F who’s preparing for sexual reassignment surgery while coming to terms with the fact that years earlier she’d fathered a son.

In the national news media, transgender has emerged as a big story: Major television networks and news magazines have reported on the subject. Along with the Hollywood and press attention, the transgender civil-rights movement has won traction. Since 1993, at least 89 state, city, and county governments have adopted laws prohibiting discrimination against transgender people. As of last year, the laws covered approximately one-third of the nation, including Denver and Boulder.

Any transgender person will tell you, however, that he or she has much ground to cover to achieve equality. Existing antidiscrimination laws still do not cover two-thirds of the country.

The U.S. Congress has yet to codify specific transgender protections. Hate crimes are up: According to a 2006 FBI report, compared to 2005 there’s been a more than 18 percent rise in violence against gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people (the FBI doesn’t break down crimes against each group). Every day, transgender folks still confront tense circumstances that are banal occurrences for everyone else. Not long ago, Kate Bowman, who

heads the Gender Identity Center of Colorado, in Wheat Ridge, went to a restaurant with a friend. “This is a person,” Bowman says, “who knew me before I had my sexual reassignment surgery, who is my friend, and she said, ‘I’d prefer that if I go to use the ladies’ room that you wait until I come out before you go in.’”

But with the growing cultural and political momentum, transgender adults are far less afraid to be themselves and they’re seizing positions of influence that would have once been unthinkable. San Francisco’s Board of Supervisors recently elected Theresa Sparks, who had transitioned around the age of 50, to president of the city’s police commission. Last year, Mike Penner, a longtime sports columnist for the Los Angeles Times, came out as a woman and is now reporting for the paper, and living life, as Christine Daniels. And last fall, in Aurora, Colorado, Pam Bennett staged a nearly successful campaign to become a City Council member as an openly transgender candidate. Although Bennett narrowly lost her bid, she was endorsed by a local firefighters’ association and the Denver Area AFL-CIO. The tight race and support, Bennett has said, is evidence that the “Aurora-Denver metro region and our country is moving forward into the 21st century.” As far as transgender children and their parents are concerned, though, America is stuck somewhere between the 20th century and the Dark Ages.

I think we have done a good job of insulating Lucia from the way the world could be for her, of creating a cocoon,” Lucia’s mom says. “But I’m also trying to prepare her.

THE CHILDREN There is no definitive headcount for the number of transgender children in the United States. The National Center for Transgender Equality estimates there are about 1 million to 3 million transgender Americans. And while it’s fair to infer that there are at least as many transgender kids as there are adults, any figures offered for the number of transgender people are, as Bowman says, “probably low, because even adults are reluctant to publicly reveal they are transgender, and for that same

ANTI-DISCRIMINATION STATES ARIZONA

MICHIGAN

Tuson

Ann Arbor East Lansing Grand Rapids Huntington Woods Ypsilanti

CALIFORNIA Los Angeles Oakland San Francisco Santa Cruz County Santa Cruz San Diego West Hollywood

MINNESOTA Minneapolis St. Paul

MISSOURI

COLORADO

University City

Boulder Denver

NEW MEXICO

D.C. Washington

FLORIDA Gulfport Key West Miami Beach Monroe County

GEORGIA Atlanta

HAWAII Hawaii

INDIANA Iowa City

IOWA Iowa City

ILLINOIS Carbondale Champaign Cook County Chicago Decatur DeKalb Evanston Peoria Springfield Urbana

KENTUCKY Covington Jeferson County Lexington-Fayette Urban County Louisville

LOUISIANA New Orleans

MAINE

New Mexico

NEW YORK Albany Buffalo Ithaca New York City Rochester Suffolk County Tompkins County

OHIO Cincinnati Toledo

OREGON Beaverton Benton County Bend Lake Oswego Lincoln City Multnomah County Portland Salem

PENNSYLVANIA Allentown Erie County Harrisburg Lansdowne New Hope Philadelphia Pittsburg Scranton Swarthmore York

RHODE ISLAND Phode Island

TEXAS Austin Dallas El Paso

Maine

WASHINGTON

MARYLAND

Burien Olympia King County Seattle Tacoma

Baltimore

MASSACHUSETTS Boston Cambridge Northhampton

WISCONSIN Madison

O

reason it would be even harder to get an accurate assessment of how many kids there are.”

The very idea that toddlers and preteens, like Lucia, are transitioning, and that moms and dads would assist them, has prompted plenty of passionate theories that have pitted doctors against doctors, polarized communities and families, and generally fostered an environment that quite literally has made it difficult for transgender children to survive.

Between 75 and 90 percent of transgender youths, according to what little research there is on the topic, have reported feeling “unsafe” at school. The 1999 Oscar-winning film Boys Don’t Cry, starring Hilary Swank, was based on the real-life 1993 murder of Brandon Teena, a 21-year-old F2M who moved to a Nebraska town hoping for anonymity. Just as Brandon was starting to feel his new life was possible, friends discovered his biological truth—and then raped and murdered him. In 2002, Gwen Araujo, a 17-year-old M2F, went to a party in her Newark, California, neighborhood. In the bathroom another girl found out Gwen’s secret and ran out screaming. While partygoers watched, a group of boys beat Gwen to death. And in 2001, in Cortez, Colorado, a 16-year-old M2F, Fred Martinez, Jr., was fatally beaten by another teen who has been convicted of second-degree murder and who reportedly told a friend he had “beaten up a fag.” Not surprisingly, for transgender kids the choice between living tormented in hiding, or going public and risking being tormented—or worse—can be overwhelming. While statistically unverified, the consensus within the medical community is that the suicide rate for transgender American youths is at least double the national average.

TRANSGENDER BOOKS

O “Be Who You Are” This book, which can be read to or with a transgendered child, performs an invaluable function – it legitimizes and normalizes the child’s experience. In addition it gives clues and direction to the young child on how to cope with difficult situations.

In short it is a book written for the transgendered child not just about a child who is transgendered. Kudos to Carr (who runs an excellent blog here) and was inspired by her own child for writing this book.

“The Transgender Child: A Handbook for Parents and Professionals” This comprehensive first of its kind guidebook explores the unique challenges that thousands of families face every day raising their children in every city and state. Through extensive research and interviews, as well as years of experience working in the field, the authors cover gender variance from birth through college. What do you do when your toddler daughter’s first sentence is that she’s a boy? What will happen when your preschool son insists on wearing a dress to school?

“Transgender Explained For Those Who Are Not” Joanne Herman, a transgender woman who read everything in sight to understand her own gender incongruity, has been helping others with her non-complicated explanations of transgender for almost a decade. Now she has written down her explanations for all to read in Transgender Explained For Those Who Are Not. Organized by topic into short, easy-to-read chapters, Transgender Explained is perfect for parents, relatives, colleagues, friends, allies and even journalists who want to quickly get up to speed on what it means to be transgender.

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RAISING LUCIA No one needs to remind Lucia’s mom of the bleak statistics. “I think we have done a good job of insulating Lucia from the way the world could be for her, of creating a cocoon,” Judy told me not long after we first met. “But I’m also trying to prepare her.” That was almost three years ago, in the summer of 2005, when the Martin family agreed to talk with me and began allowing me to visit with Lucia. Their decision is a calculated one: Sharing their story, the Martins hope,

might help other families with a transgender child not feel as isolated as they have felt; maybe their story will change how people think about transgender individuals, and that might make life a little easier, safer, for Lucia.

The Martins asked that their names and certain details, like Lucia’s school and their exact town, not be revealed. “We don’t want to go out of our way,” Judy says, “to invite trouble into our lives and into our community.”

Lucia Martin loves the color pink, she barely stops to breathe when she talks, and she resembles the striking child actress Dakota Fanning. Like the little Hollywood starlet, Lucia’s hair is long and blond, she has prominent cheekbones, her wide eyes are an almost neon blue, and her skin is so fair that it’s nearly translucent. On an unseasonably warm winter afternoon, Lucia wears jeans, a billowy blouse, and platform sandals. She’s accessorized with a floppy reddish corduroy hat, and her pink scarf matches the pink polish that’s begun to flake on the nails of her toes and fingers. A few days before Christmas, the two of us are sitting in the Martins’ dining room, and Lucia’s gushing about what’s on her wish list.

Most of all she’s hoping for some toys from a line called Littlest Pet Shop. As if she’s pleading her case, Lucia explains, “OK, so it’s like these tiny, tiny little toys. OK. So all of the little animals are bobble-heads. And there’s doggies. Oh, can I bring it up?” She disappears and within seconds returns with what looks like a 12-inch-by-12-inch wall that’s a maze of plastic tubing—the kind of thing a hamster runs through. She presents what looks like a stuffed hamster with a spring for a neck. “That’s my favorite little guy. And, so, there is a shower.

So you go like this”—she opens a hatch on the tubing and drops the pet-thing inside—”they crawl around in here. They have little magnets on their feet.” Just then Lucia’s favorite little guy gets stuck. She falls silent and directs all of her attention to freeing the pet, and only then resumes talking, as if she never stopped. “Anyways, to get this guy with like a food thing and another thing would be like $10. But....”

Lucia’s discovered she loves the video camera and would like a filmmaking software program for Christmas. And if Santa were looking for ideas for her stocking, he might think about

He was crying and holding the little metal blade of the saw over his bare wrist. “There are too many expectations,” Luc said. Then he said it again...”I don’t think there is a place for me in this world. art supplies. She likes to draw shapes, concentrating to make them as geometrically flawless as she can. Or maybe Santa might leave her the DVD set of her favorite television series, Avatar. It’s one of those Japanese anime-style cartoons that airs on the children’s network Nickelodeon. It’s about a wide-eyed, androgynous-looking child, Aang, who leads a band of friends armed with supernatural abilities.

“It’s really cool,” Lucia says, “because they all have the power to bend nature.”

Lucia’s playthings and interests are windows into the young person she is. In her Littlest Pet Shop, she cares for the smallest of creatures who sometimes need help navigating their maze. In her blossoming filmmaking hobby, there’s the possibility to create her own world, where heroes bend nature and the endings are just. And in her passion for shapes, there’s Lucia’s concern with the way things appear. For Lucia, things need to be a certain way, whole and perfect, which is why seeing pictures of herself before her transition tends to make Lucia uneasy.

The first picture ever taken of Lucia isn’t a picture at all. It’s an ultrasound image captured in the fall of 1996. Judy couldn’t wait to tell Michael, who was at work. “This was back when they had fax machines,” Judy says. “The nurse drew a circle on the ultrasound and an arrow to the circle and wrote ‘penis.’ And when it came through the fax at Michael’s office, all of his buddies came up to him and were like, ‘Dude! Congratulations!’”

Judy and Michael met on the CU campus and began their romance at an off-campus party. Michael had strategically positioned himself at the threshold of the room, with the drinks and food, and chatted up just about every girl who passed by. After watching from afar for a few minutes, Judy walked up to him and said, “You must think you’re pretty smart with this routine you’ve got going.” Michael replied, “Well, it worked for you.” They immediately realized they shared an intelligence and a sense of humor. Judy was majoring in

journalism at CU. She wanted to change the world. Michael was a double major. He saw an exotic future abroad. After CU the couple moved to northern California, where Michael earned a graduate degree and Judy interned at a local TV news station. From there it was on to Europe. Michael worked for a couple of years with a transportation company, after which the couple moved back to Colorado, where they married. Judy took a job with a travel company while Michael signed on with a consulting business. When he got that faxed ultrasound of his incipient firstborn son at work, the daddy-to-be, an avid cyclist, couldn’t help but picture himself and his boy, together, pedaling around the world as father and son. Naturally, Judy and Michael put a great deal of thought into the boy’s name.

Inspired by their shared affection for the Old World that Judy and Michael had left behind, they chose a European name, Luc. A decade later, in the Martin family dining room, Judy asks her daughter if she would mind if we look at an old family photo album.

Lucia shrugs in a way that conveys she’d rather not, but she understands.

In the pictures Luc is a chubby boy, often wearing denim, with every hair on his head sticking straight up. “Do you remember when people used to see your hair and ask me if you’d stuck your finger in an electrical outlet?” Judy asks. Lucia smiles. Here’s a shot