A New Life Jazzar O’Dea
CONTENT WARNING: DOMESTIC ABUSE AND VIOLENCE As everyone who has had kids will know that birth is a traumatic event, the outcome is beautiful but none the less a traumatic event. My rebirth was a traumatic event and still is. When I met my partner 8 years ago, I thought that I had met the man that was soul mate and would get married and stay together for life, I was however wrong about this. This ended up being a torturous 7 years of my life. There were signs early on in our relationship that he was both violent and controlling but I swept it under the rug as either a bad joke or as it being my fault. My abuse ended with me being chased down in a car and having everything taken off me and this was the end of our relationship. The abuse came in many forms but none that I want to mention here as it can be quite triggering for myself and other people. The turning point came when I realised that I had value, I had something to say, and somebody was willing to listen and validate what I said. I realised this early in the piece, on the day I went to court to get my children back. The paralegal and the judge listened to what I had to say. So much so that the judge told me that the application I had done for the order was fine to keep him away from me, but hadn’t included the kids. And she would not make the order without them in it. I didn’t know that I had the right to my own children. That was an A-HA moment.
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Since starting my rebirth, I’ve discovered who I am and that it’s ok to love myself. I’ve also surrounded myself with people who cherish and appreciate me for who I am. This has given me the confidence to go back to study at UWA and study computer science and law. Throughout my rebirth, I’ve discovered that I’m a fierce supporter of human rights, something that would have been unthinkable for an oppressed woman from a tiny wheat-belt town, where dissent is rewarded with ridicule, social isolation, rumours and revenge. I want for others what I want for myself, the freedom of choice and freedom of movement and be free to discover who I am, on my terms. And thus, either create, or help create the safe-haven, which is needed for shelter, but also to help heal the abused and help them reimage themselves on their own terms.
