GUILD ELECTIONS: POSTAL VOTE APPLICATIONS NOW OPEN Polling for Guild Elections will be held on the week starting Monday 21st September. For students not able to attend polling booths, postal vote applications are now available on our website, under Information for Voters. Applications must be received by the Returning Officer by Friday 18th September, 4pm. Ballot papers will be mailed out to approved applicants and completed ballot papers must be received by the Returning Officer by 5pm, Thursday 24th September. WEBSITE: CONTACT:
www.uwastudentguild.com/elections The Returning Officer, Mary Petrou: marypetrou1@bigpond.com or elections@guild.uwa.edu.au
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Talk to us today unibank.com.au or 1800 864 864 UniBank is a division of Teachers Mutual Bank Limited Teachers Mutual Bank Limited ABN 30 087 650 459 AFSL/Australian Credit Licence 238981 | 00891-MAR-0815-UWA-210x148.5
EDITORS’ NOTE S
FROM THE PRESIDENT For a theme as ‘fun’ as Party this editorial had been sitting on my list of things to do for weeks while I waited for some funny yet brief anecdote that I can talk about that isn’t about how comparatively old I feel at uni parties these days, how my idea of a good night out has changed over the past few years, and how I would happily opt for wine on the couch over the sticky floors of metros any day. Don’t get me wrong – I love a good party, and there’s that much going on both on and off campus these days that you can pick and choose what you like. Gone are the days where your options were limited to the two extremes of boozy toga parties and games nights. These days there’s everything from wine tours to dress up parties, music festivals, fancy cocktail events, while the classic sundowner lives on. I’ve seen things change on campus significantly over the past few years when it comes to parties. With so many events on every week people have to be more creative with their ideas to get your ticket sale and attendance and more inclusive in the way that they run them, which is a great thing. If you’ve got ideas for ways that we can improve the way that events are run on campus, ideas for new events that you’d like to see, had a bad experience that you’d like to raise with me, or just want to talk about how you also feel old, please feel free to get in touch. There’s no party in my office but I have plenty of tea. Lizzy
FROM THE EDITORS FOOLPROOF PARTY GUNCH RECIPE - FOR WHEN YOU DON’T LIKE YOUR FRIENDS ENOUGH TO PUT DOWN FOR A CARTON You will need: 1 punch bowl, preferably crystal 1 carton Mildura Apple Guava juice (only Mildura will do) 2 $0.90 bottles of Coles brand lemonade (substitute one of these for Passiona/Pasito if you’re feeling tropical) 1 box frozen berries (for some reason these are cheaper at Woolworths) 1 big ol’ gooner (preferably a dry white with a bit of bite to it) 1 medium sized Facebook event’s worth of party guests Method: Fill punch bowl with goon Mix in juice and lemonade to taste Add the frozen berries right before guests arrive, for maximum chill Put on Smooth Operator by Sade Mingle with guests while sipping the expensive IPA you bought for yourself Kat
I’m sitting at my desk in the Pelican office right now, sipping from a medium guild flat white. There’s a little heater blowing air onto my feet. Hugh is sitting at our third desk to my right, and Josh in the red armchair directly in front of me. He’s just confessed to, on occasion, ordering espresso martinis (embarrassing). They’ve both just informed me that contrary to my previous belief, Kirby is not a Pokémon. I’m trying really hard to care, but it’s just not coming. I’ve just taken my second iron supplement of the day in the hope it will make writing this editorial easier. It’s almost working. The only thing that gets me through this moment, and every other moment in fact, is the promise of a good party. Parties don’t necessarily get the good rap I’ve always felt they deserve in this issue – see Mel’s harrowing interview with a recovering meth addict (page 16), or Mini’s meditation on introversion (page 9) – but god, do I love a party. When you’re dealing with a university that cares increasingly less about you (page 12), or the unbearable weight of being away from home (page 18), there’s really only one solution. That’s a bottle of Bowler’s Run Shiraz, red lipstick, your dumb mates, and at least one rotation of Sade’s ‘Smooth Operator’. Just try and tell me I’m wrong. If you feel the same, you are cordially invited to the ongoing party that is the Pelican Office. We are above the Ref, or you can email us at pelican@guild.uwa.edu.au. We go all night. Lucy
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Contributors PELICAN IS UWA’S STUDENT MAGAZINE, SINCE 1929
Editors Lucy Ballantyne Kat Gillespie Section Editors Politics Brad Griffin Film Holly Munt Music Hugh Manning Literature Kate Prendergast Arts Emily Purvis Lifestyle Morgan Goodman Contributors Prema Arasu* Patrick Bendall* Danyon BurgeMini Burr* Jessica Cockerill* Samuel J. Cox* Tim Dempsey* Tristan Fidler*Samantha Goerling* Nina Heymanson* Skevos Karpathakis* Harry Manson* Wade McCagh* Samuel Montgomery* Richard Moore* Nick Morlet* Bryce Newton* Kate Oatley* Georgia Oman* Catherina PaganiBridget Rumball* Harry Sanderson* Melissa Scott* Aakanksha SharmaLaurent Shervington* Mark Smith* Michael Trown* Rae Twiss* Laura Wells-
Cover photo and contributors photo O-Camp 1990, courtesy of UWA Student Guild Archives Design Kate Hoolahan Advertising Chelsea Hayes chelsea.hayes@guild.uwa.edu.au The University of Western Australia acknowledges that its campus is situated on Noongar land, and that Noongar people remain the spiritual and cultural custodians of their land, and continue to practise their values, languages, beliefs and knowledge. The views expressed within are not the opinions of the UWA Student Guild or Pelican editorial staff, but of the individual writers and artists. Getting involved with Pelican is easy! Perhaps too easy. Like us on Facebook, email us at pelican@ guild.uwa.edu.au, or drop by the office (it’s right next to the Ref!)
*Words -Art
offer applies to large pizzas only
FEATURE
IS S U E 6: PART Y REGUL ARS SOCIAL PAGES............................................................. 6 CALENDAR.................................................................. 25 MATILDA BAY MUSINGS WITH TRISTAN FIDLER . . ...... 36 RETRO PELI................................................................. 46
FE ATURE S PART Y PL ANNING FOR THE SOCIALLY AWKWARD.... 8 INTROVERTED AT UWA.............................................. 9 KNOW YOUR PART Y MACHINES ................................ 10 ANDREW WK .. ............................................................ 11 UWA HAS MAJOR ISSUES............................................ 12 THE MEDIEVAL SOCIET Y .......................................... 14 THE FACEBOOK EVENT ............................................. 15 ICE ICE BABY . . ........................................................... 16 THE MELBOURNE MY TH............................................ 18 LIFE IN LIMERICK . . .................................................... 20 GT FRIDAYS................................................................ 22 PART Y WITH PELICAN ............................................... 24
SE CTIONS POLITICS. . .................................................................. 27 FILM........................................................................... 31 MUSIC .. ....................................................................... 33 LITERATURE. . ............................................................. 37 ARTS........................................................................... 40 LIFEST YLE.................................................................. 44
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SOCIAL PAGES Send tips to pelican@guild.uwa.edu.au
Letters to the Editor
They’re real this month! M300 Stirling Highway, Crawley WA, 6100 Email pelican@guild.uwa.edu.au Facebook /pelicanmagazine Twitter @pelicanmagazine Instagram @pelicanmagazine
Via Email Subject: Disturbing Article Hello,
Subject: Advice to Peter Derbyshire, Pelican Issue 4
I am writing in relation to an article published in Pelican, Issue 5 Volume 86, August 2015, The Fiction Issue… I’m a prospective new student and picked up a magazine whilst walking through the University Grounds on Open Day. Not understanding what the magazine is all about, I thought I would grab one to have a look at some of the current student perspectives, I came across the below article.
Get a job! I’m sure someone in the big bad world will give u a start. Bill Rigg
Via Email Subject: New UWA Brand
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Dear Pelican,
It took me a little while to realise the title of this issue was called “The Fiction Issue”…so I am assuming this article is Fiction… I still find it quite disturbing as no doubt others will, especially mature age students, or parents of future students. I wonder if Patty Chong appreciates her name being mentioned. Being mature age myself and having worked in a male dominated work place for many years, I did not find this article at all funny.
While looking at a drinks fridge in the ref today I was struck by the grammatical similarity between the neonlit sign ‘enjoy ice cold’ and our new UWA brand, ‘Pursue Impossible’. After further consideration I decided that ‘enjoy ice cold’ would be a better brand for the university. I think it is more comprehensible than the actual brand and would be more attractive to both overseas and domestic students, since it conjures an image of enjoyment and chilled beer, rather than the sweaty pursuit of... something unattainable. The lack of capital letters also makes it look more modern, though perhaps a hashtag should be added.
I’m not concerned what you’re response is to this article or any follow up action, however I felt on behalf of working women trying to be taken seriously in the workplace I had to voice my opinion. Kind regards, Samantha Rohde Congratulations to the writer of our letter of the month, Samantha Rohde! Samantha has won an exclusive, all expenses paid business lunch at Print Hall as the guest of lady magazine editors Kat Gillespie and Lucy Ballantyne.
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Via Email
Yours, Anonymous mature age student
UWA FACT You can get Special Consideration if you have Netflix
Ca m p u s R a n t
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with Rae Twiss
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THE FRESHER DIARY · PART SIX In which we ask an anonymous UWA fresher to diarise their experience as a shit-scared first year. This month’s fresher diary comes from the desk of Taylor; Shenton College alumnus, fellow fresher, and love interest to G. hey diary i guess, i’m hell tired man, was at the bird till close last night. think i’m gonna have to move on from that place now that they serve espresso martinis, what a joke. went back to ben’s and smoked/talked. we’re thinking of starting a band. luke’s got some connections at pilerats, and to be honest they’ll let anyone play at dadas these days, reckon we could get gigs pretty easy. ben’s place in freo is so great - it’s a semi-detached extended federation but also late modern cottage with original art deco features and this weird inbred cat that hangs around. we call him stephen, after stephen malkmus. there are 22 housemates, you know how it gets. the whole house kind of slants slightly
to the left, and they reckon there might be asbestos in the roof. i love it there. as much as i enjoy spending an evening arguing the merits of pitchfork’s latest fka twigs review, i was having a weird night. i’m really hung up on this girl. the other night we were lying in the hyde park gazebo listening to carrie and lowell together and i was like, maybe this is it. but then she turned to me and asked if i had any papers left. kind of ruined the moment. i just don’t know if she’s that into me? i’m thinking of asking her to duet at hip hop karaoke next week, but maybe it’s too soon. i need to listen to some jazz and think it over. then there’s G. oh man, she’s so amazing. she’s light, and she’s shade. sometimes i look at her and it’s like, i’m not even sure you know who les rallizes dénudés are. women, right? but other times she’s so profound, man. but she could never be into me. could she? i’ve gotta run - i’m reading passages from nietzsche at the rosie tonight. bye, or like, yeah
UWA FACT There is a Professor of Literature (unnamed here), whose cane he has secretly adapted to double as a selfie stick
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FEATURE
Party Planning For The Socially Awkward Words by Bryce Newton Art by Laura Wells If you have recently purchased a pair of jeans which make you look exactly like someone who would (and damn well is) wearing a pair of jeans, but who has also purchased a pair of jeans which are corduroy (or some other kind of unaccommodating material) and can only stand in these jeans then you’re talking to the right person (or reading the right article). Some may call this event unfortunate, and in the case that they are practical thinkers even suggest that you should return said pants. Don’t worry dear friends you’re in the right hands that will welcome you even in the wrong size pants. In this situation what you need is an event where you can stand comfortably, or uncomfortably if you choose the wrong kind of shoes – it’s your choice. That’s right my pant-wearing friend, I’m talking a party. But in light of another issue, I am also talking about party planning for the socially awkward. A guide you can find if your eyes continue on down this wayward path. So you’ve already got the pants for the event, but this is more than just about what you’ll be donning upon your awkwardly positioned self during these all intensive hours that see you immersed in the company of other people and engaging in some good old fashioned social interaction. To help you through this event successfully I have compiled a guide to ensure success that will not see you spending the next two years obsessively considering how well that one joke would have gone if you’d said it, or how good a time you could have had if you hadn’t spent the entire party attempting to convince yourself to say the joke. Step 1: Inviting People Into Your Home (i.e. Usually People-Free Place Of Blissful Solitude) Compile a list of people who you would feel comfortable being in a room/multiple rooms with for possibly more than one hour. These people should be friends you are comfortable with and possibly even friends you want to be more comfortable with. Under no circumstances should you invite the one person in your ECS tute that you’ve been obsessively planning your future with and remember the placement of every hair on the back of their neck from one time you sat behind them on the 950. If you don’t follow my advice it is possible that excessive stress sweating may ensue. Remember, this person will probably not find it impressive that you know anything about their hairline in the situation when you’ve decided to get things going with the harder spirits. Step 2: Providing Food For People To Place Inside Their Bodies At Will Choose snacks which you’d feel confident making food puns about, but also choose snacks which can stand on their own if you don’t have to resort to the puns. If you are wearing the aforementioned pants don’t eat too much of this food or you will not be able to sit 8
down. Even more vital in this facet of the festivities is ensuring proper refrigeration and food storage prior to serving. You are pretty bad at comforting people at the best of times; it’s likely your apology for food poisoning won’t be much better. And people don’t take well to being turned against a wheel of Brie, but hey, you didn’t ask them to eat the whole thing. Step 3: Play Music That Will Impress People And Improve Your Local And Surrounding Suburbs (Street) Cred Ensure a hip and cool playlist that will have your guests thinking; damn this cool cat is really up on the music scene (or something equivalent). If you’re not one for music ask your waist deep in the hip (but not grossly so) music scene mate Darren to compile something, unless Darren has fallen completely off the train and is now sporting a beard so hip it’s got hip bones. In which case it’s likely he is too busy drinking craft beer in bars and disgustedly telling people how to properly pronounce Richard Ayoade’s last name anyway. Step 4: Remember You Are Also Invited: Do Not Forget Yourself With all this planning it would be pretty darn easy to live out the perfect soirée in your head and never actually hold it. In this alternate universe things went smoothly and you were catapulted into the “best party planner of the year cosmos”, but remember having a party is just about having fun and trying not to cry because Samson was the best dressed person in the room even though Emogene told you that it was you instead. Rather than letting that ruin your night just cross him off your next hip gathering and he will spend the rest of his life mourning even considering dressing so well. Even if you’re wearing pants that fit you well these steps will ensure that you have the best night of your life until a better night comes along. Unless they don’t and you’ve peaked early – but at least hold the party before you think about this. Because you’ll be thinking about it for a while.
UWA FACT Club Carnival is a world-famous festival held the week before lent every year
FEATURE
I’m Sorry I Didn’t Go to Your Party, I Just Really Didn’t Want to Words by Mini Burr Art by Aakanksha Sharma “You never remember the nights that you got enough sleep.” I remember hearing this at some point halfway through my first year of uni and freaking out a little. I had turned down numerous invitations to go out with my brand, spanking new friends throughout the year because, quite frankly, I didn’t want to go. While virtually everyone I knew was hitting up Clubba or CCC every week (which at the time, I confess, I had no idea what it was), I was at home, watching television and falling asleep well before midnight. I remember a distinct feeling of dread and anxiety, followed by a pint-sized existential crisis – what was wrong with me? Why was I actively avoiding having fun while everyone else was having the time of their lives? Although fomo was yet to be coined, I was definitely feeling like I was missing out on something big. I’m an introvert. Personality assessments have copped a lot of scepticism due to their overuse in the corporate lexicon (Myers-Briggs anyone?), but there is quite a lot of evidence of the introversionextroversion continuum. In essence, the distinction between an introvert and an extrovert is how you react to other people; extroverts draw energy from being around others whereas introverts tend to have their energy drained when socialising. Introversion and extroversion is a scale, and you can pretty much fall anywhere along it. There has even been a new term, “ambivert”, recently created by psychologists to describe people who have a solid mix of both extroverted and introverted traits. So while it may seem that I was just a rude, anti-social twat for bailing on my friends, not wanting to go out every night of the week had more to do with me than anything else. It was honestly just too tiring being around people all the time.
What makes it particularly hard to be an introvert today is how our society favours and promotes extroversion as the ideal. We idolise the outgoing and give value to how many people we interact with (how many friends, how many followers, how many likes). We are now more contactable than ever. This pressure to be the extrovert ideal is reinforced by the highly visual nature of social media. There is a constant pressure to be seen to be busy and to share your life with others. If you’re on your own and don’t want to interact with others 24/7, what’s wrong with you? I used to dread Mondays when I was inevitably going to be asked “what did you do this weekend,” with the underlying assumption to provide some rollicking story of shenanigans and adventure when in actual fact, I didn’t get up to all that much. The changing structure of social institutions reflects this preference for the extrovert. While somewhere between 30-50% of people tend to exhibit traits of introversion, social institutions are geared towards group thinking and consensus. For example, there is a trend in schools for a greater focus on group work over personal study. Similarly, the advent of the open-plan office is a physical manifestation of the social over the individual; walls and privacy are redundant when you’re meant to be super outgoing and want to spend every second surrounded by others. This shift is all but encouraging for the humble introvert. This push for constant interaction and workshopping ideas is not the most conducive environment for introverts to flourish. Introverts tend to work best on their own after deep, internal reflection. The extroverted world we live in may actually hinder introverts from reaching their potential, and may limit innovation and creativity from introverts that could benefit all of us. On top of this, there are a number of misgivings over the actual perks of consensus and group work. More often than not it’s the loudest idea, not the correct one that dominates discussion. It’s somewhat of a myth that group work is the best model for solving problems and finding the right answer. The glamorisation and pursuit of extroversion may in fact be a disservice to us all. Another major detriment of the prioritisation of extroverted qualities is that it can just downright make introverts feel like shit for being who they are. I was one such introvert. It took me a long time to work out is that I didn’t need to feel guilty about not wanting to go out or constantly spend time with others, even though everything around me suggested that this was the norm. If I needed to spend some time alone over going to some rager, that was perfectly all right. To all you introverts out there – don’t ever feel guilty about putting what’s best for you first. If that means you can’t go some event because you’ll just feel horrible, simply don’t go. As someone who has actually gotten ill after spending too much time around people, trust me, it’s not worth it. For everyone else, please try and cut us introverts some slack. If we don’t end up going to your party, don’t stress; it’s probably not about you at all.
UWA FACT You should write for Pelican!
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FEATURE
know your party machines Words by Georgia Oman Soviet Party Machine The Central Committee of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union definitely falls into the political category of party machine taxonomy. If Stalin has taught us anything apart from successful moustache maintenance (a good mirror and strong tweezers are a must), it’s that manipulation of the party machine is a sure-fire means to a long and healthy dictatorship. Having said that, we are talking about Russia, land of a thousand stereotypes. If my basic cultural pigeonholing serves me well, there was probably a lot of vodka flowing and Cossack dancing on tables going on in the Kremlin. You only have to overlay old footage of Soviet mass exercises with techno music to get an idea of the next-level raves that were probably going on all the time. It wasn’t called the Communist party for nothing! Miley Cyrus She can’t stop. She won’t stop. Miley Cyrus is the party machine of perpetual motion. Not even solid concrete can stop her from having a good time; she’ll just swing through on her good ol’ wrecking ball, wearing only a pair of boots and wielding a sledgehammer (incidentally also my party outfit of choice). Miley’s like the kid who waits until their really strict parents are away before they throw the biggest house party of all time, only in this case the house was Hannah Montana and the parents were Disney – they’re going to be so mad once they get back home and see what she’s done to the Jonas Brothers. Once somebody flipped the switch, there was no shutting her down; aided by her trusty foam finger, the new Miley 2.0 can turn literally anything into a party, from music award shows to the entire North American continent. Bender from Futurama Bender is an actual party machine. The hard-living, cigar-smoking automaton of the show that brought you a million ‘Not sure if…’ memes, Bender the robot is literally fuelled by alcohol. Restricted access to beer causes him to sober up and power down (the science all checks out, trust me). In this way, he resembles the typical downward spiral of a night out after last drinks have been had; as the inflated confidence of a pleasant alcoholic buzz begins to wear off, you gradually become aware that you are less amusing/talented/in possession of your limbs as you thought you were, and retreat into yourself accordingly with an appropriate degree of mortification. We are all Bender. Keith Richards Advanced robotics is the only explanation for the inexplicable longevity of the Rolling Stones guitarist. That, or he’s sold his soul to the devil in a Robert Johnson-type transaction. At 71 years old, the fact that Richards has not died multiple drug and alcohol related deaths is just further proof that he is a cyborg sent
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back from the future to enrich our lives with music and inspire Johnny Depp’s pirate-related acting roles. A grandfather five times over with multiple narcotics arrests and lines on his face deeper than the Marianas Trench, Keith remains the poster boy for long-term debauchery with little-to-no consequences. The bane of anti-addiction campaigners everywhere, he remains a truly indestructible party machine who resembles a shrunken head more and more with each passing day. Karaoke Machine It is a verifiable fact that everybody thinks they are a better singer than they actually are. It’s what makes the terrible audition rounds of music talent searches so appealing – they stoke our ego as we sit on the couch, feeling superior and thinking about how much better we could sing I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing by Aerosmith. The Japanese, of course, invented the perfect device to tap into this gaping well of vanity; the Karaoke machine. Just pull one of these out at a party and try not to have a good time. For optimum results, mix with alcohol and a darkened room and experience all inhibitions leaving your body with a soaring ballad. But beware the pitfalls that can make a karaoke party not so hearty: don’t hog the stage, and don’t attempt anything by Mariah Carey – normal people can’t make those noises. Just remember, as long as you don’t try to rap, everything will be fine.
Prema’s Picks: Top five party themes of 2015 1. Accurate Great Gatsby Inspired by Baz Luhrmann, 2014 was all about the flapper-speakasy-1920s party. Make 2015 the year of the accurate Gastby party. Throw an elaborate party in your Long Island Mansion, but spend the entire time staring out of the window as some sort of metaphor. Become disillusioned with the jazz age, and probably just have a Rubix Cube party next time.
UWA FACT Amy Schumer’s character in Trainwreck is based on a member of Pelican’s editorial staff
FEATURE
ANDREW WK: THE MAN, THE MYTH, THE PARTY Words by Laurent Shervington Art by Danyon Burge Charismatic doesn’t even begin to describe the immortal soul that is Andrew WK. Flamboyant? No, not even close. How about party animal? Let’s go with Party Ambassador.
“I like to think of partying as doing what you want all the time”
Part 1: Andrew WK the Musician First and foremost Andrew Fetterly Wilkes-Krier is known for his fast paced hard rock style and swaggering presence at live shows. His most well known record is easily his major label debut I Get Wet, a record that if nothing else has a level of ENERGY that never subsides in its 36 minute run time. The man never stops to take a breath.
Fun Fact #2: The word “party” is said 43 times on the 3:04 minute single ‘Party Hard’.
“If you shoot for way way way way way too high, then even if you fall down it’s way way way higher than you thought you How do I even begin to talk about a man who has such immeasurable would reach.” charisma, such charm and such an undying need to party? I like to think of Andrew WK in three parts. Bless you Andrew, bless you.
This album takes you back to those early 2000s teen film parties with pizza, red solo cups and pop-punk. Other releases from WK include the more subdued The Wolf, the more traditional Close Calls with Brick Walls, an album of J-rock covers, the piano rock album 55 Cadillac inspired by ‘sound like freedom’ - and another Japanese cover album, this time focusing on songs from the Gundam (giant robots) science fiction franchise, a popular genre in Japan. Fun Fact #1: Pitchfork originally gave I Get Wet a slightly discouraging 0.6/10 in 2002, but eventually saw the merit in the album, giving the reissue an inspiring 8.6/10. Part 2: Andrew WK the Motivational Speaker What better way to promote the sacred ways of party than to become a motivational speaker? Andrew WK is living proof that you don’t need anything but charisma to have a good time and live a pretty great life. Some of WK’s choice inspirational aphorisms include: “Entertainment embraces the absurdity of existence in general” “The most real thing and authentic thing you can do is doing what appeals to you, doing what you’re meant to do, doing what you’re good at and seeing your vision through.”
Part 3: Andrew WK the Mystery So with all this activity and partying, a fair layer of ambiguity has followed the man. Stunts like drumming for 24 hours straight, being named a cultural ambassador for the Middle East by the US Department of State, and even his AMAZING twitter account, home to tweets that urge people to go outside and cradle their dogs/ vegetables, and to shower with sunglasses on. There’s even that whole ongoing rumor that Andrew is part of the Illuminati, and isn’t actually a real person. In December 2009, Andrew published a lecture of himself stating that the Andrew WK persona was created by a committee, claiming that “I’m not the guy you’ve seen from the I Get Wet album… I’m not the same person”. Heavy stuff. Regardless of whether WK is real or fake, the actual character and the importance he puts on having good vibes is at the very least damn inspiring. So next time you’re feeling down, think to yourself: What would Andrew WK do? The answer is, uh, party. Remember what the man himself says: “I’m not right wing. I’m not left wing. I’m not political. I’m just party”. Fun Fact #3: In the controversial cover of I Get Wet, Andrew is seen wet-haired with a large stream of blood running down his nose to his throat. WK achieved this effect by striking himself in the face with a brick during the photoshoot, but it didn’t achieve enough blood flow. With the help of the blood from the butcher’s, WK was able to complete the shoot.
RABBIT FACT Rabbits are a serious mammalian pest and invasive species in Australia causing millions of dollars of damage to crops
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FEATURE
This We stern Feeling Words by Kat Gillespie Art by Aakanksha Sharma
When the setting sun hits Winthrop Hall at a certain angle, a gaggle of men and women costumed in medieval garb and carrying historically accurate weaponry gather on Oak Lawn for a bi-weekly evening of dancing and jousting. Most of us have passed a snide comment or two about them, meanwhile wishing we were free of the social preservation instincts preventing us from taking part. Since beginning my studies here, I’ve spent many late Wednesday afternoons lounging on the lawn post-Tavern, tipsily watching the action with a group of friends. It’s the kind of strange and charming experience that makes this campus unique, one of many that I will miss when I graduate at the end of the semester. It’s one that future generations of students might not get to enjoy. I’m not sure how many members of UWA’s International Society for Creative Anachronism major in Medieval and Early Modern Studies. For all I know, most of them are commerce students. Yet I can hesitate a guess that at least some of this large and dedicated group of campus jousting enthusiasts are taking units relating in some way to their hobby. I’m just as certain, following the Academic Council’s recent decision to axe the Medieval Studies major, that future members of the Society won’t have access to these classes. Although Arts Dean Krishna Sen has encouraged concerned students to believe that the discipline will be integrated into other more popular Arts majors, it is a fact that its core units will be phased out within the next four years. As of August 5, while you can study commerce pretty much anywhere, there is no university in Western Australia that offers Medieval and Early Modern Studies as a major. UWA has spent a lot of money this year trying to assimilate. Their re-branding campaign, focused around a confusingly large-scale television advertisement that could just as easily be selling Nike sneakers, is recognizable to any critically thinking 12
Arts student as a thinly veiled attempt to become more like Curtin and ECU. So too is the bright, simplified new logo, and the dumbed down two word slogan that constantly verges on self-parody. I feel sure that I first heard this aphorism on an advertisement that actually was selling Nike sneakers, but shouldn’t this university just try to be itself, seeing as everybody else is already taken? Even putting aside the marketing missteps, when you take away the quirk, the ‘useless’ Oxbridge style Arts units like Medieval Studies (as well as European Studies and Gender Studies, the other two Arts majors facing the axe), and the emphasis on specialized undergraduate study, UWA really does become a Western Australian tertiary education factory like any other. At least in terms of our undergraduate degrees, there is nothing to distinguish us from business-centric Curtin now. And no matter how many giant balloons the university is willing to invest in for its Open Day, I’m not sure that future students will be fooled; hot air is sometimes just that. While Curtin, Murdoch and ECU offer practical courses for the kinds of students who aren’t too concerned with Group of Eight pomp, UWA is supposed to attract those who are more interested in the tradition of bookworm academia. Like it or not, academic prestige has always been its calling card. Take away this sense of allure, and it seems unlikely that the state’s brightest prospective students will continue to sign up for undergraduate study here, especially when it is easier to find specialized Arts units at other universities that require lower ATAR scores. You can’t sell a university degree on MBA success stories, fancy buildings and hot air balloons alone. And if you can, you’re selling to the wrong kinds of people. When Krishna Sen put forward her proposal to rescind the three Arts majors at Academic Council earlier this month, she cited small class sizes. Small class sizes equal poor profit margins – ever the economist, Vice Chancellor Paul Johnson was quick to side with her. The motion to axe the majors passed without extensive debate, or even a formal vote. Such is the implicit power of money at UWA, a university that nonetheless owns millions of dollars worth of unused property, and found the
UWA FACT No more articles about Adventure Time, please
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funds this year to invest in, variously: an idiotic and unpopular new mascot, television and radio advertisements produced overseas, the now-infamous Open Day hot air balloon, extensive upkeep for its beautiful (but probably not very water smart) grounds, and a series of campus art installations featuring choice excerpts from BrainyQuote.com’s Top Ten Most Inspirational Clichés. Meanwhile, presumably to help fund these crucial programmes, over the past couple of years UWA has quietly fired most of Reid library’s expert librarians and replaced them with cheaper student casuals. Anyone actually interested in education will tell you that it’s difficult to justify course cuts based on small class sizes. It only takes one passionate student to become a Rhodes Scholar, or a world expert on a niche subject area. While sitting in my industrial sized tutorial this week, trying to compete with 28 other students for participation marks by talking slightly louder than everyone else, I wished fervently for a more intimate learning environment. Small class sizes are the dream, not the nightmare. I’d love not to descend into a fever of anxiety every
time I’m forced to try and stand out from a cohort of showy young men in a room where my voice is by default the softest. I’d love to share a classroom with a small group of people passionately devoted to a subject, and I doubt I’m alone. UWA Vice Chancellor Paul Johnson is an economist, and a celebrated one at that. But he should be aware by now that, despite his credentials, he works at this university in a very different capacity. Not as a bean counter, but as a safeguard of academic rigour. Someone who might enjoy a light afternoon of jousting, be it intellectual or otherwise. But what would I know? I’m the most generic of hopeless cases – a public service bound, Centrelink sponsored English major with an interest in mid twentieth century North American poetry. I suppose I’m probably the New UWA’s worst nightmare, but I’ve enjoyed my chosen subject area and hope to pursue it further at another institution next year. Somewhere far away from Crawley, a suburb that has given me some of my happiest memories, but now leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.
UWA FACT Pelican will publish your rejected clerkship applications
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‘Tis But A Scratch Getting down with UWA’s foremost medieval society
In an effort to discover more about one of UWA’s most iconic but esoteric campus clubs, Pelican hung out with the College of St Basil, the University of Western Australia’s branch of the International Society for Creative Anachronism, for an afternoon. We found them to be one of the friendliest, most welcoming and passionate groups we’ve come into contact with on campus (sorry, Blackstone).
We’re a sort of subgroup of the SCA, which has many different semi-clubs all over Perth and Australia. The SCA has over 30,000 members worldwide, and there are also plenty of independent ‘medieval’ groups around as well.
it didn’t have the numbers to make it a viable major then I can understand that. Do you think it will have an impact on future membership of the club?
It won’t. All of us are doing this as a hobby. I think a huge amount of us are doing science majors anyway. I think we would love to do medieval studies as a broadening unit but probably not as a major. Like I said however, We hold an annual newcomer’s feast to The College of St Basil the Great is but it really sucks for people who want to dedicate welcome in first years, as well as a college one chapter of the International Society for challenge, which will be held on the 20/9 this their lives to historical study, and I feel for them. Creative Anachronism, a global organisation year. It’s a fighting tournament which attracts interested in recreating medieval traditions. Are most UWASCA members currently groups all over Perth. We also go on various The small and dedicated club, totalling camps together as a club which are hosted by studying at UWA? around 20 members, meets twice weekly various groups. for traditional armoured combat sessions, Eh, yes and no. We had elections because the rapier fighting, dancing, costume sewing, and Game of Thrones: yay or nay? former President graduated (and went back music. They also hold annual feasts and attend to Singapore for a while), the Vice-President national conventions with other branches Yay, but maybe not to the extent most people was taking a semester off and the Secretary from around Australia. It turns out that most expect. Some of us like GoT but honestly we graduated. A small but still fair amount of the members are interested in the medieval period don’t really talk about it or anything like that. members just like the centrality of UWA, as well as a hobby rather than an academic pursuit as the amount of room we have for activities, as I think we had a two hour long discussion which is lucky for them, given recent events. opposed to other groups in Perth. about the animation dynamics of Avatar the Last Airbender. Go figure. Thanks to the club’s resident medieval What advice would you give to anybody dreamboat Jacques Jenkins for explaining wanting to get involved in UWASCA? What are your thoughts about the recent UWASCA’s history, and to recently elected removal of the Arts faculty’s Medieval and President Amberley Lievense for answering If you have a sewing machine, bring it. If you Early Modern Studies major? these questions for us. want to get into fighting, you’re gonna It’s sad… but not really much to do with us. get bruised. What is your role in UWASCA? But most of all, prepare to have fun. I highly doubt it will affect us very much. If What kind of events and activities do you guys run?
I’m the President, as of the latest election. How would you describe the club to the completely uninitiated? It’s a really great place to meet new friends. I’m a first year and I pretty much had no-one when I first came to UWA. But thanks to UWASCA I’ve met some really amazing, awesome people. If you’re willing to learn and do some work you can also pick up a huge range of skills from people who are more than willing to teach you. How long has the club existed on campus? Since 2001, and this year is the Society of Creative Anachronism 50th anniversary. 14
UWA FACT There are only three upper level English units available this semester. Not a joke, a real fact this time
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Event Notification Words by Kate Oatley
Up until 2004, a house party was exactly what it said on the tin: a night out to enjoy yourself with friends, and move on with your usual life the next day. And then there was Facebook. Facebook makes it quick and easy to organise a party – much quicker than writing up individual invites, and more communal than sending a text. Not only do you know who is attending in an instant, but your guests know who is going, too – goodbye, awkward party encounters. You can even let your guests know the weather on the night, so the host could adjust the location, and the guests know how to dress. There is no longer any issue with changing themes, dates, times, or locations: one click of a button and you’re sorted. Sounds fantastic, right?
the ultimate party, and on the guest’s part, to have the best outfit and perform unscrupulously during the night. Facebook parties now also carry the expectation that more guests will be invited. Partly due to the ease of inviting people, and partly to the stress of having ‘enough’ people at their party, hosts often invite more people than they want at their party, to account for dropouts. However, this results in the party being significantly larger than the host anticipated, leading to an onslaught of problems and leaving close-knit get-togethers well in the past. Some hosts even set their privacy settings on the Facebook event to ‘public’ in a bid to get more numbers, effectively giving out their address to anyone who looks. As the number of gatecrashers grows to hundreds, and with them a reputation for policerequiring violence, hosts now even have to hire bouncers to stand at their door on the night of the party.
your boss, and have detrimental effects on your relationships with all of these parties. The ‘morning after’ syndrome even affects the behaviour of people during the party, as people monitor their behaviour to avoid this situation, simultaneously downplaying the fun a party is supposed to represent. There’s always the option of a back to basics approach, with no themes or hype, but this doesn’t suit the majority of lifestyles. The appeal of Facebook parties is the convenience and imagination it inspires. Facebook events can be used to great effect, as long as the host uses common sense. Simply double-checking your privacy settings are on ‘private’ instead of ‘public’, and not caving into pressure to over-invite to make up numbers avoids the problem of unwanted guests arriving at your party altogether. If you’re looking for a little of both past and present party hosting, why not try the quick party? Without the pressure of themes and months of preparation, simply post on Facebook on the day of the party and wait for your friends to arrive. As well as removing the pressure of current Facebook parties, this method controls numbers and narrows the field down to your closest friends. Facebook parties have piled on the pressure to hosts of the once-humble house party, but by using some common sense and novel thinking, we don’t need to abandon them altogether.
After the party itself, the effects of Facebook on the house party continue. Where once Well, maybe not. All the ease that comes what happened at the house party stayed with preparing Facebook events comes at the house party, the events of the night with a lot of new pressure. Pre-Facebook, now end up on Facebook the morning after. it was normal to simply invite a few friends As well embarrassing relics, there are the over and give nothing more than a date more serious side effects of the ‘morning and time. Now, hosts become professional after’ syndrome; photos and videos that party planners. Whereas once themes were are posted up online of the once secret a novelty, now they are a requirement – and events of the party can be seen by your each has to be better than the last. Naturally, workmates, your friends, your family, even with elaborate themes comes months of advanced notice so you and your guests can prepare, putting unrealistic pressure on the host to deliver a spectacular party every time. The host also becomes a media agent, promoting their event in the weeks and days beforehand through regular posts and status updates on Facebook to make sure everyone is as excited as possible. 2. Cult of Cthulu Although the thematic preparation and A great theme for a baby shower. Dry clean your robes and plague upselling does increase excitement for the doctor mask. Ensure there are lots of candles to please our party to an extent, it also creates a heap cephalopodan draconic overlord, destroyer of worlds. Sacrifice goat. of stress for everyone involved. Whereas Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn parties used to be dominated by a relaxed atmosphere, they are now dominated by pressure: on the host’s part, to deliver
Prema’s Picks : Top five party themes of 2015
UWA FACT Everybody hurts, sometimes. Everybody cries.
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ICE ICE BABY Interview by Melissa Scott
Pelican spoke to Heath Abel, a 44-year-old recovered methamphetamine addict, about his experience with the narcotic. MS: Did you grow up in Perth? HA: I started in England and then moved to Australia and hated it. MS: Did you not like Australia because you were young and had to adjust to everything? HA: And because I was English and not the most confident kid to begin with, my mum’s an alcoholic and I didn’t have good social skills, and kids can smell fear, and they preyed on it. I’m gregarious but I was needy and people could pick up on that and they just tear you apart. That’s what kids do. So I struggled with schooling and things like that, I never actually felt like I fitted in anywhere and then I found drugs and fitted in perfectly. MS: What was the first hard drug you took? HA: Ecstasy. MS: Was there something in particular going on in your life at that time that made you turn to drugs? HA: Everything was insecure in my life at that time, my whole life. So it was self-medication, really. I’m ADHD. So the first time I took speed, and speed is the one I talk about most because it’s had the most profound effect on me, I remember the very first time I took speed I was like, ‘ah this is great, I feel normal, I feel alive… I feel like I imagine what I’m supposed to feel all of the time and then better’ and ecstasy was the same too because I never realised you could be so happy. But yeah, not the best childhood, not the best upbringing, not the best life kind of stuff. MS: Was it the actual drugs that made you fit in? HA: Um, it was the whole environment, you know? It’s a whole bunch of misfits and you don’t care… like when you’re on Es you don’t care about what someone looks like or where they’ve come from, you think they’re the best person in the entire world, so you just fit in. That really does get you hooked into it. You develop a little network of people and they’re your best friends. 16
MS: Can you tell me more about the networking of those friends? HA: When you’ve done Es, and I don’t know if you’ve tried them or not, but you know someone for five minutes and they’re all of a sudden your best friend. You start making ridiculous plans for the future, building records and empires and stuff like that and when you have low self-esteem and low self-confidence, that’s fantastic because it all goes away, but it’s only for that night and then the next day it all goes back to normal and you’re coming down and then you wait all week until Thursday, Friday so you can feel that feeling again. MS: So it started as a weekend practice. During this time ice (methamphetamines) hadn’t been introduced into Australia, but you would have witnessed it first sweeping across the country in the early 2000s. HA: I remember when it first came through, I was using intravenous methods at that point and it was like far out, this is the best thing ever. You cannot describe how good it is and that’s the problem. People say that drugs are bad, and they’re not, and as long as we’re telling people that drugs are bad, we’re going to fail, we are not going to win. MS: Because people are just going to want what they can’t have? HA: We need to start telling people ‘yeah, this is what they’re going to do, you’re going to feel brilliant and you’re probably going to feel like that for six months to a year, but very quickly you’re going to start losing it.’ It will take over and it’s all you want. It’s Pavlov’s dog. You’re going to want it more than food, you’re going to want to get on more than you want to pursue your career, you’re going to be an absolute wreck picking scabs off your skin, imagining stuff’s crawling underneath there and think that’s
“I imagine it’s how a zombie would feel, craving their brains”
UWA FACT Your crush is kinda hoping you’ll ask ‘em out to Pelican Prom
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totally cool. You’re not going to be upset about it at all, you’re going to be pulling yourself to pieces literally, physically and emotionally and you’re going to be happy about it. MS: How do you compare the feeling of when you were on it compared to reality? HA: I usually describe taking ecstasy as having an orgasm times a thousand, using speed is kind of like the best thing you’ve ever had multiplied by a million. I imagine it’s how a zombie would feel, craving their brains. You’re a wreck, you just want to sit in a dark room, you don’t want to interact with people or just hide from them because they might see, they might notice how bad you really are. MS: And how would you describe the effects? HA: It does stun you, it does have big effects. Short term effects are things like, you have huge amounts of energy, you’re extremely sensual, you are clear in your thinking, anything you want to do you just go do it, you think you’re organised, you have a narrow focus…You’ll have really deep and engaging conversations with people that touch on stuff that you couldn’t normally get to. Sex is like an eight-hour marathon of amazingness. MS: When did you feel like you were losing control? HA: Really early on. You know it, but you just don’t admit it. Once you realise you have a problem, and that doesn’t take too long, once you start doing it three to four times a week, you know that something is just not right, but you also know you can’t fix it. MS: How many times did you tell yourself you were going to quit? HA: You get lost, you lose yourself really quickly. I would say I was going to quit a hundred times, ‘that’s it, this is my last one I’m not doing it ever again’. And then as soon as something happened that I didn’t like… I can’t handle this, I’ve got to get on. You have this dialogue in this brain that will convince you that this is the best thing for you to do. How do you fight that by yourself in a dark room when you’re suffering from anxiety and agoraphobia and you hate yourself? The only way is by getting on, and it will fix it, so why wouldn’t you do that? Compared to putting yourself through another day of absolute torment in saying no. And you know it’s going to be months. So you’ve got a quick fix right there by just putting it in your mouth, or three months of torment. You’re going to choose the drug every time. MS: So what was the moment then that you finally went to rehab and said ‘that’s enough’? HA: That took six to eight months of constant pressure from my psych saying ‘you need to go to rehab’. I would say ‘no, I can fix it myself, I’ve got this, I can do it’ and it was just months and months of failure and eventually when I lost my daughter and she didn’t want to see me anymore, I scared her and she ran away from home, that was about the time. And when I started having shifts from work taken away from me because I was unreliable.
MS: How did it affect relationships with your friends? HA: It destroyed them. I was quite open that I had a problem and some people did try to help and they thankfully didn’t get rid of me. They understood that this wasn’t actually me talking. Some people don’t talk to me anymore and rightly so, you see in rehab that some people get beaten the shit out of them. Sometimes the psychological effects are more damaging. MS: Are you still in contact with the dealers and friends you had before, when you were an addict? HA: No. MS: So that’s something you had to cut off to ensure you didn’t use again? HA: All the times I quit before the last time I always kept a couple of numbers in the back, I didn’t delete their numbers or I knew how to find them and that’s because some part of me wasn’t ready to quit. And that’s your biggest fight because you say you’re ready, but whether or not you are ready is a different story. MS: But you would probably be able to go out anywhere these days and source it somewhere. HA: Oh easily. MS: How do you stop yourself from doing that now? HA: I don’t want to. I know I don’t need it anymore. Yeah, I don’t get the high but I know I don’t need it. I don’t get that 200% fantastic but 80-90% is fine, there is nothing wrong with that. It’s that false high you get addicted to. MS: You’re pretty open about what happened. How do you deal with criticism you get from other people? Does it hurt? HA: Oh yeah, it hurts. A friend of mine used the word ‘junkie’ the other day on social media and I got in an argument with him, but I’m not going to back down. These people used this language because they don’t understand or they’ve been hurt by someone who uses drugs and they’re lashing out. So yeah, I care, but it’s more about education for me. I’ve met heaps of people struggling with addiction and most of them are sensitive, caring people who care too much. Some defining characteristics that I’ve noticed with addicts is that they’re smarter than the average person, they’re super sensitive, empathetic and feel what others are feeling. So little insults hurt deeply. MS: What do you tell yourself now to make things feel okay? HA: I used to think that bad emotions were literally going to kill me. It felt like the end of the world. Now when I’m feeling sad I remember that it will probably pass by tomorrow, but addicts don’t know that. Think of a deep feeling like if you were to walk in on your partner with someone else, that depth of emotion could occur when you’re high if you did something as simple as lost your wallet… In rehab [I] learnt there’s no such thing as good or bad emotions. There is only comfortable and uncomfortable, and uncomfortable is not that bad.
UWA FACT Cute boy I met in Guild cafe while re-stocking Pelicans - call me
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The Melbourne Myth Words by Michael Trown Art by Catherina Pagani
Hello reader! I’m sure you, or perhaps someone close to you, has told you how they ‘really want to move to Melbourne’ and that ‘Melbourne is so much better than Perth’. As someone that did the big move from humble P-town to ‘The Big M’, I’ve learnt a few things about moving there that people don’t really mention. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Melbourne, and all the great things people say about it are true. But I also think that if you’re going to make a decision about whether you actually want to uproot your entire life to a city 2700km away, it should at least be an informed decision. So I’ve made a list of all the things that Melbourne sucks at. What people will tell you: The Coffee/Food/Alcohol is cheaper What they won’t tell you: Living arrangements are worse For sure, the food is cheaper (and better) in Melbourne. But the minimum wage is also lower, public transport is more expensive, and (contrary to popular belief ) rent is not cheaper. When house hunting, I looked at a whole lot of poo palaces before I found a house that was reasonably priced, close to the city, and not the size of a shoebox. I once went to a house in Fitzroy where one of the rooms smelled distinctly of rotting wood (for about $200/ week). With public transport also being slower, you think you’re a good distance from the city, but it actually takes you a solid thirty minutes to tram it in. This all being said, unlike Perth, you don’t have to go into ‘the city’ to actually go somewhere good, there 18
are countless cute bars and pubs all over the suburbs. But houses are also smaller, so if you’re a size queen like me, you might have a problem with that, too. When jumping into a new city, most people don’t take into consideration just how difficult it actually is to find a house. I can’t think of a single friend that didn’t live somewhere awful before they finally found a house that worked for them (if they ever did). What people will tell you: Melbourne has trams What they won’t tell you: Trams really suck dog buns Never has my appreciation been so strong for both Transperth and buses, as when I moved back from Melbourne. I mean, trams are cool, right? The convenience of being able to just jump on a tram is pretty nifty, they come a lot more frequently than buses, they run later at night, and ‘all the cool cities have them’. But nobody mentions that they are often cramped, and either old and decrepit, or new and clumsily designed. They are so incredibly slow, and they break down and cause delays more often than they should. To be honest, I wouldn’t say that Melbourne’s transport is any better than Perth’s, especially considering that the Myki system (equivalent of the Smart Rider) is a hot sweaty mess. You can’t pay for tickets on trams, and you can’t top up your Myki on trams. You have to already have a Myki topped up at one of the Myki top-up machines (which are sparsely located), top up your Myki at the nearest 7-11 (which can easily be a 30 minute walk away), or top up online (but the website is probably broken). And if you get caught without a valid Myki, the transit guards will show you no sympathy and hit you with a $200 fine (no matter how legit your excuse is). What people will tell you: Melbourne is fun What they won’t tell you: Moving is painful Moving to a new city is exciting. You get to go to new places, meet new people, experience a whole new level of culture that Perth doesn’t quite offer. But moving is also painful and
UWA FACT The popular UWA Students Instagram account is actually a spambot designed to subtly persuade students to join the armed forces
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exhausting. It takes it out of you emotionally, and it’s exhausting financially. You will spend a fucktonne moving all of your crap over to Melbourne, you might have to fork out more than you want on accommodation, and you will probably be unemployed for longer than you intended to be. You might also not have the support network of friends that you are used to in Perth, and being away from friends long term is harder than you might think. I was there ten months, and I never really settled in. The holiday sheen of Melbourne never really wore off; by the end I was still exploring new and exciting places and doing some cool stuff. But while I did make some great friends there, it takes a very long time to find a social circle that you feel comfortable in. What people will tell you: There’s so much to do What people won’t tell you: Say goodbye to house parties (and also your money) It’s true, there’s so much to do there. It’s actually absurd how many festivals there are, all the time. And they are a whole lot of fun. There are also so many effortlessly cool bars, restaurants, and arty things going on. However, the one catch of having fun
bars and festivals in a new city is that they aren’t nearly as fun if you’re friendless. Melbourne can be confusingly lonely in that sense, with so much to do, but sometimes nobody to do it with. And there’s such a strong network of Ex-Perthians that you’ll eventually find yourself being friends with all the same people, all over again. When you do find yourself going out lots, you will also find that you’re spending a buttload of money on drinks, all the time. Gone are the days of hanging out with a cheap sack of goon - you could easily be spending $100 a week on drinks (like I was). More importantly, nobody ever mentions the serious lack of house parties in Melbourne. Almost all of the ones I went to were small and awkward, and only a handful were actually fun. The pros of having 500 facebook friends in Perth who all already know each other is that you’re more likely to get invited to parties more often, with people you already know you like. I do believe that Melbourne is an amazing place to live. There’s so much to do, it’s overflowing with a real creative energy, and if you’re left wing, it’s great to be surrounded with more likeminded people. However, like anywhere in the world, it’s not perfect (Perthect?), and since nobody else was being real, it was left up to me. I love Melbourne, but I love Perth more - the end.
UWA FACT Loud student protests are said to damage prospects of obtaining a cushy union job upon graduation by 150%. Sit ins are OK.
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FEATURE
There Once Was a Tav in Limerick Interview by Patrick Bendall The UWA Tavern. Whether you visit once a year or attend weekly tutorials inside, there is little denying its importance as a place of social gathering for many UWA students. But the beloved Tav has been going through a period of change recently. New menu options and a furniture facelift hint that the Tav has to work to attract students, and as our tastes change, so does it. Around this time last year, the faculty to ALVA held a competition to redesign the Tavern. It was an interesting competition to enter; it’s a heritage listed building and a lot of things can only be changed cosmetically. The most important thing was working out what students wanted from an on-campus venue, and we soon realised it wasn’t necessarily a completely new/modern bar with no sense of tradition. Was the dated 70s beer advertising obsolete or a quirky attraction? Do students still go for the mock Beer hall atmosphere as much as they did thirty years ago? How does a snug wood panelled environment rate against $4 mini-burgers and another happy hour? When different groups of students go in for different things, how do you create a safe comfy atmosphere where you can all enjoy having a few glasses after class? All this focus on the Tavern recently made me curious about on-campus bars in other parts of the world. Over the winter break, I sat down with Declan Collins, one of the managers of the student bar at the University of Limerick (UL), Ireland to see how the UWA Tav measured up. The University of Limerick, in the west of Ireland has about 15 000 students over 140 hectares along the Shannon River, and (at least) two oncampus bars; the Stables Club and the recently opened venue next door, Scholars. Between talk about student drinking culture and Irish water shortages, Declan laid out student expectations of an Irish student pub. Can you tell me a little about the history of the Stables Club? We’ve been here since 1987 and we were the first student bar to open in UL. From day one we opened it with the idea that it was a place for social gathering for the students, a safe place to come and socialise and a members club, with events for Students of UL. What sort of events does The Stables Club run? We run a lot of fundraising. Different bands, Rag Week [a fundraising event]. Christmas Days were something we started 25 years ago, which have collected something in the region of 800 000 [euros] for charity. It’s been a huge success and a bit of craic [Irish term for fun/banter] for students. It’s our most popular event, even over Rag Week. It was done initially so that students could come and get a Christmas pint. We said, well, you have 50 000 students, I can’t give out 50 000 pints. So we split it between three days, and everyone would get a pint coming in, even though the event is for charity. So Christmas Days do two things; it gives students their Christmas pint, and it collects an awful lot of money for charity. Last year it collected 26 000 for charity over three days. So you do a lot for charity? We’ve done lots of different charity stuff over the years, we’ve probably collected somewhere in the region of 1.2 or 1.3 million. 90% of it is all 20
local charities. I find with the students, that once you create an event they can come to and have some fun, they love supporting charities. They mightn’t have as much as everyone else, but they’ll give a bigger percent of their money. If they only have a fiver in their pocket, they’ll still give 2 Euro. I hope they’re as generous as in Australia (laughing). I’ve noticed the range of beers you have here. Can you tell me about that? Well, I guess Ireland, being a small country, over the last five years we’ve seen a huge growth in small niche beers. I suppose the climate and the Irish culture for drinking beer over other drinks has let it grow to a level where there must be in the range of thirty to forty small breweries in Ireland. On campus we have two student bars, the first is the one you are in now, the Stables Club. We stick to the traditional beers, at high volume. The second pub, Scholars, does all the alternative beers, probably aimed more at postgrad students and older students wanting a particular type of atmosphere. How many beers would you have on tap at the main bar? Let’s see, I think it’s twelve, because sometimes students come in and try to do the Twelve Tap Challenge. Students come in a white t-shirt, they write up all the beers and then they draw a box. When they finish a pint of that beer, the other student ticks a box. I haven’t met many students who have completed it. Usually they’re sent to bed about 9 or 10 and I tell them they can finish it with their breakfast next morning. It would be very hard to drink all twelve. You have two ciders, five lagers, three stouts, and another beer and then you have Paulaner which can be a fairly strong beer to drink anyway. There’s quite a heavy mix. Ah, we don’t encourage it, but we keep an eye on them when they do. You have only nine? Sher, that would be no problem, then! In the last couple of years UWA has completely banned promotion of alcohol. Is there anything like that with UL? Ah yes, we don’t promote any drink on campus. For the last few years we’ve been part of the official alcohol policy, but I guess in our own heads we’ve always been working on the alcohol policy. We don’t encourage students on spirits, we prefer high volume low alcohol drinks. We only promote drink within the stables. We promote gigs outside but not drinks. It’s just part of being a responsible student pub. Students can come to have fun. They should always have fun. But we’re babysitters, basically. I make sure the students are alright, “you’ve had enough, have a glass of water for half an hour”. I’m very uneasy about just throwing people out when they’ve had too much to drink, I prefer to find them a corner and make sure they’re alright. They’re your best customers after that. You were saying earlier that you believe in the virtues of beer over other drinks? I believe, personally, that young people should only drink low volume alcohol drinks. The simple reason is they’re going to drink high volumes. When you drink high volumes of low content alcohol drinks,
UWA FACT Honestly, I’m kind of attracted to Paul Johnson. Hello, daddy
FEATURE
well, you’re going to fill up instead of blowing your head off. I think that’s one of the problems in Ireland today. Young people are drinking at home, drinking vodka, wine, they’re mixing drinks. They’re in a better state drinking beer or cider at a pub. It’s definitely changing, well, I hope it’s changing. Students are more often coming down for a few pints. I don’t think it’s seen as being as cool as it was to get tanked at home and go to a nightclub. So what makes a successful student bar? Is it atmosphere? We have a culture of going to the pub, but that on its own isn’t a success. Your success is bringing along the students with ideas, things that suit them. When they come into the pub they have a good night. A lot of students now, when they come into the pub they don’t like other students acting in a certain way. You can jump around and have a bit of craic, but you can’t start jumping on tables and spilling drink, we don’t allow that. We try and mix it, between DJs, bands…Our International Night, Friday, for international students, is our biggest night ever. Five years ago we were going to close on a Friday night. We’ve been working with the International Society over three years to build it up. We now often get between 800 and 1000 people some Friday nights. I notice UL has a lot less students and you get a lot more at the pub. Well, UL has nearly 2000 international students now, but they bring a lot of non-students too. We’re looked at as the only place that students in Limerick can come, safe, enjoy their night and it doesn’t cost them a fortune. The Irish love it. There’s a great atmosphere, a bit of a mature atmosphere sometimes. I won’t say no to 1000 people on a Friday night!
I have one more question; it’s about catering for the student budget. Student catering for us means the number one thing is ‘the spend’. If you can hit around five euros, and give them quality and nice service, you’ve done it. I guess we have a country feel. Easy going. You find a lot of pubs you go into are a bit faceless, but we know all the students. We know their names, what classes they’re in, and when they graduate they still come in for functions. They’ll still have a drink here if they’re passing through Limerick. I think atmosphere is everything for any type of pub. That started with the staff, the music, the decor. And of course for students it has to be the price of the drink. We dropped our prices four years ago for all our beer, and we put up our spirits. We make the money on spirits if students want to go that line… but I feel better if you’re drinking Fosters than if you’re drinking Jagermeister, and so would the college. We were a fiver for Jagermeister and three euros for [a pint of] Fosters. What’s that in Australian? How is the dollar doing? In Australia a lot of students buy drinks by the jug. Is that common here? We used to do a jug for a tenner. But when we lowered the price of a pint to three euros, we would still get students buying jugs and getting three pints out of them. One student came up to me and asked if I knew three pints were cheaper than the jug. I said of course I realised that! And you’re buying it. Students like a bit of banter. That’s always part of what goes on here. That’s why I enjoy it.
UWA FACT Members of Academic Council meet at the top of the clock tower on Wednesday evenings for poker night
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FEATURE
PELICAN DECIDES: AN INCOMPREHENSIVE LIST OF THINGS WE WOULD RATHER DO THAN ATTEND GT FRIDAYS Art by Catherina Pagani Apply for public service graduate positions Listen to breakfast radio Watch breakfast television Watch any television That includes reality cooking shows Read The Australian Write a letter to the editor of The Australian, congratulating him Watch amateur stand-up comedy Eat at Subway Catch public transport in the rain Wear polyester everyday, forever Hang out with our high school love interest at Midland Gate Ask the hot barista for a decaf skinny latte with three artificial sweeteners Go jogging Go jogging with the aid of a jogging app Go jogging with the aid of a jogging app, post about it afterwards on social media Engage in an argument about the tampon tax Refer to ourselves as ‘local creatives’ Comment on YouTube beauty guru videos Bump into people from high school on the bus Bump into people from high school on the bus, at the beginning of the journey Order an espresso martini Go on a contiki tour Apply for clerkships Go to Bali Stay in Kuta Update our LinkedIns Eat at The Moon Go to brunch and order muesli Work in retail Work in hospo Work Drink Hammer & Tongs Go to McDonald’s and order a salad Read Jodi Picoult Watch movie adaptations of Jodi Picoult novels Watch movie adaptations of novels Pay full price for a movie ticket Get kicked off a Transperth bus for carrying food Talk to Student Admin Enable read receipts Spend a day ‘running errands’ Drink moscato Play uno with friends and family Jury duty Clean a sharehouse bathroom Attend a ‘lost my phone, need numbers’ event on Facebook Watch adult cartoons Try to talk to someone at the Scotto Have dignity 22
UWA FACT No, no, no… it’s G and T Fridays, and it’s held in the Pelican office
My First Party Words by Harry Sanderson Art by Catherina Pagani Recently a girl named Haley who I met in a tutorial at University asked me to attend a house party she was throwing at her house in Cottesloe. I had never been to a party before so I was apprehensive but also excited. I asked my sister for advice on what to do. She told me to arrive a little later than Haley had told me, and bring a six pack of beer to enjoy at the party. I wore a white shirt with a button down collar. I didn’t wear a tie because I didn’t think it was that formal a party. I arrived at Haley’s house at just after 10pm. She answered the door, and there was loud music and a great crowd inside. I hugged her and she smiled- things were getting started well. I was a little worried because my phone was running out of battery when I got there. I had brought my charger with me, and I tried to ask Haley if there was anywhere I could use it, but her house was very full and she didn’t hear me as she was shepherding me through the crowd. I tried to mouth to her and point to the charger, but she actually disappeared to get a drink at that point, so I was left alone for most of the rest of the night. I went into the bathroom and sat on the edge of the bathtub playing solitaire to kill some time, but my phone did end up running out of battery pretty fast, since I hadn’t had a chance to charge it. I checked my watch and it was 10:38pm. Some girls were wanting to use the bathroom, and so I let them in. One of them was crying and holding her shoes. I don’t know what that was about, but I needed to get back to the party anyway, so I went back down the hall. A guy who was wearing a backwards-cap was admiring my still-cold six pack, and asked me if he could have one of my beers. I gave him and his friends a few and we stood in a circle. They were holding a conversation about the television program Game Of Thrones. I don’t watch it, but I was enjoying the fast paced banter about the events and episodes, and some of the theories they had about the future of the characters seemed really interesting. I sure want to know more about John Snow!
Prema’s Picks : Top five party themes of 2015 3. Golden Triangle fuckboy party » strict dress code « “No fuckboys.” 1. 4.
Get your dad to hire a club in the Western Suburbs 2. Confirm playlist of bangerz 3. Wear finest evening attire from Politix Make sure there’s a helipad in case Bronwyn wants to come
I thought I saw my cousin, David, talking to some girls by the refreshments table. I waved to him but he didn’t see me, and looking closer I wasn’t even sure it was him. When I thought about it more I remembered David was doing a semester abroad in Scandinavia right now, so it definitely wasn’t. I checked my watch and it was 10:57pm. I went over and stood by the drinks table, because I noticed a lot of people were moving around that area. I wasn’t sure if you were supposed to put your own drinks on the table or if Haley and her parents had supplied them, but I had given all my beers away, so I couldn’t contribute anything anyway. I picked up a bottle with a golden label and pretended to read the back for a while. I scanned the room but I couldn’t see anyone looking, so I put it down and looked at my watch again. It was almost 11:22pm now so I thought it was probably time to go. I thought I should say goodbye to Haley, but she was with an older guy that I didn’t know, and they looked to be speaking pretty seriously so I didn’t want to interrupt. I went and said farewell to my hat friend and he and his friends hugged me and thanked me for the drinks and took a few photos with me. I tried to ask him what his Facebook address was but ‘Gold Digger’ by Kanye West was being played at quite a loud volume and so he couldn’t hear me. I saw the girls from the bathroom again and waved at them to say goodbye. One of them saw and waved back, but she looked uncertain, so I’m not sure she remembered me from before. I had a really good time at the party and hopefully will go back to another one soon. I’m sorry I didn’t get to say goodbye to Haley but I will be seeing her at University so I can talk to her there- I hope she thought it was overall as successful as I did.
UWA FACT Nobody was murdered in Winthrop Hall. No one.
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Art by Danyon Burge
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September
DON’T YOU FORGET ABOUT
THE 80 S PROM YOU NEVER HAD
FEAT. THE X BOYFRIENDS!
FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 25 TH 7PM | UWA TAV LIVE MUSIC/PUFFY SLEEVES/JOHN HUGHES VIBES STARRING CERTIFIED DREAMBOATS AND 80S TRIBUTE BAND THE X BOYFRIENDS TICKETS ON SALE SOON 26
UWA STUDENT GUILD
Fringe Festival 2015
Public Affairs Council
FRINGE FESTPRESENTS AD
SPRING FLING FRIDAY 4TH SEPTEMBER 7PM · THE REF
Step back in time to the nifty 50s and see the Ref transformed into a retro diner! Grab a group of friends and get ready to rock ‘n’ roll. Tickets available via bit.ly/uwaguildspringfling 26
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POLITIC S
SkyNet Lives! An investigation of DARPA by Tim Dempsey
When you think of giant, earthravaging existential threats these days, what comes to mind? A global health pandemic? Global warming? Terrorism? That super volcano beneath the Yellowstone National Park that people sometimes mention as being this total disaster waiting to happen but not really? Could be all of those and more. If so, get outside, you paranoid husk of a humanoid shadow. One threat on the horizon that is inching towards reality is the risk posed by the development of artificial intelligence, and the increasing cyberisation of humanity. Allow me introduce you to DARPA – the Defence Advanced Research Projects Agency. DARPA was created in 1958 by order of President Dwight Eisenhower in the most American way possible – in response to a Soviet achievement. Namely, the launch of Sputnik 1: the first artificial earth satellite. Originally named ‘Ultimate Communist-Thumping AssKicker Department of Total Freedom Testicles’ (I think), this government department is responsible for some seriously incredible achievements of its own. DARPA created the first ever weather satellite, essentially designed the precursor to modern GPS, invented the computer mouse (you’re welcome, gamers) and is currently working on a staggering 250 research projects, with a mere 220 government employees… and all with an annual budget of $US2.92 billion. ‘But Tim,’ you splutter through a mouthful of expired cornflakes, ‘what do they do with all of that cash? You know, seeing as they really could use a social security and medical system overhaI’m glad you asked. Should you visit DARPA’s website, it provides details on their research projects. Here are some of my personal favourites: EXACTO bullets: DARPA has already completed testing – and this is true – on its Extreme Accuracy Tasked Ordnance (EXACTO) Program. DARPA has developed bullets that actually swerve to hit moving or accelerating targets. MAD-FIRES: The Multi-Azimuth Defence – Fast Intercept Round Engagement System is a program designed to develop a new class of missiles that combine the precision and power of ordinary missiles with the speed and ammunition capacity of regular bullets, while also being capable of engaging multiple targets and then re-engaging stuff that didn’t die the first time HELLADS: The High Energy Liquid Laser Area Defence System is a 150kw laser designed to be 10 times smaller and
lighter than lasers with a similar power – which they eventually intend to use on board aircraft. RAM: Restoring Active Memory is the only project I’m listing that won’t kill everything you’ve ever loved, but it’s still incredibly awesome and equal parts ambitious. DARPA wants to create and test a wireless, fully implantable neural-interface medical device for human clinical use in order to overcome memory deficits by developing new neuroprosthetics to bridge gaps in the injured brain. I copied most of that from their site, and I understand almost none of it, but if I’m right, it sounds like they’re developing a way to actually restore memories lost due to brain damage. Cortical Processor: In 2013, DARPA launched ‘request for information’ on the research and development of what is essentially creating a machine that can think like a human – in other words, a machine with a human brain. Just think – at the moment, your car doesn’t hate you for riding it all day long and then leaving it alone at night outside. But clearly, DARPA is working to change all of that… Back to ‘cyberisation’, you may have heard that just recently, over 1,000 intelligence experts and researchers signed an open letter warning of a “military artificial intelligence arms race”. Google it. Stephen Hawking was involved, so you know it’s legit. Essentially, Hawking has warned that AI is “our biggest existential threat”. The development of autonomous AI without careful consideration of the potential effects could lead eventually to hostile AI, and the beginning of a new Terminator reboot, except this time, Arnie is way too old to be of any use. The problem with rapidly advancing cyberisation is the huge intellectual gap between those that develop the technology and those that use it. Think about it. Right now, you’ve probably got some kind of smart device next to you – iPhone, laptop – that you use regularly. You understand how to use it; how to text, call, browse facebook, swipe right an indecent number of times. Now imagine a military setting. Heavily equipped and technologically advanced soldiers, using deadly technology that they understand only how to operate. Remember, DARPA – which invests heavily in research into complex areas beyond the comprehension of all but the most gifted individuals – has only an employee base of 220, but their products may affect over ten million times that number. It’s a mind-boggling responsibility when you think about it, and yet there are at least 250 projects in the works. This is not science fiction. These are real projects, with tangible outcomes. Technology is increasingly complex, society is increasingly dependent on it, and we are increasingly vulnerable to the fallout.
UWA FACT A postgraduate student recently gave up on her thesis and instead sought fame (and got it) by writing a bestselling darkly satiric gift book called I Dream of Gin
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POLITIC S
The New World Order Words by Wade McCagh A quarter of a century ago on 2nd August 1990, the first major international crisis of the post-Cold War world began. After months of objections by Iraq for Kuwait to reduce their oil production and cease flooding the international marketplace, thus harming the profits of an Iraq still crippled economically by a long and destructive conflict with Iran, Saddam Hussein gave the green light for a military invasion. 100 000 Iraqi soldiers crossed the border into Kuwait around 2 am. By 2 pm, they were in full control of the country. While this act caught the international community offguard, what followed over the next seven months was an unprecedented diplomatic and military effort, led by the United States, which saw a precise multilateral military operation to remove Iraqi forces from Kuwait. It took a little less than five weeks in total, and a ceasefire was reached 100 hours after ground operations began. It was an unquestionable military and international diplomatic success, leading George H.W. Bush to coin the infamous phrase “the New World Order”, in which America would achieve its national interests and goals in concert with its allies and with broad international approval. The Cold War was officially over, and multilateral diplomacy and a credible UN would establish the rule of law internationally. It was arguably the high point of US hegemony. With the benefit of hindsight, the Gulf War now looks less like a template for the conflicts to come, but rather a complete anomaly. A war with clear beginning and end dates, fought between two conventional armies, won by a multilateral coalition working strictly to the objectives and mandate bestowed upon them by multiple UN Security Council resolutions. In many ways, the completeness of the coalition victory in the Gulf War reinforced and guaranteed the failures of US foreign policy in the following years. And while it would be unfair to point the finger of blame directly at the Gulf War for the current state of chaos in Iraq and the wider Middle East region (the lion’s share of that blame would have to be directed at the Gulf War’s sequel, the 2003 invasion of Iraq, which shared very little in common with its predecessor), the lessons taken from the Gulf War by the US and other powers would prove vital in the events and outcomes that would follow in the Middle East over the next 25 years. First and perhaps most obviously, the failure of economic sanctions placed on Iraq during the Gulf War to force their withdrawal from Kuwait, and the subsequent overwhelming speed and success of the military operation to remove Iraqi forces from Kuwait created a dangerous precedent in US foreign policy. Of course, sanctions did not work in this 28
case because Hussein viewed the invasion as a matter of life and death for Iraq, much in the same way that Russia views Ukraine today. No amount of diplomatic or economic sanctions would prevent or avert their actions in their own geopolitical spheres. However, the US’s readiness to use military force in later international conflicts, even when diplomatic options had not been exhausted, would prove to be a major downfall of post-Cold War US foreign policy. This readiness to use military force was also compounded by the Gulf War’s unprecedented media coverage and portrayal as a ‘surgical’ war. This was the first war in which the public were able to see several military innovations, such as cameraequipped high-tech weapons being deployed against Iraqi targets. Images of precise aerial bombing and the use of night vision equipment allowed for continuous coverage of the war, but also allowed the US military to control the imagery of the conflict. Whilst the US public gained an appreciation for the military capabilities of aerial assault with little risk to coalition forces, the Gulf War created a reliance on such technology and military tactics which has directly lead to the US’s current drone-centric military policy, and with it hundreds of civilian casualties across the Middle East, sowing the seeds for the rise of fundamental extremism. Perhaps most importantly, the Gulf War’s resounding military success taught the most persuasive lesson to the opponents of the US: conventional warfare is dead. Both state actors like Iran and non-state actors like al-Qaeda learned that military and strategic success against the US would be best achieved through covert means; subversion, sabotage, terrorist attacks, and local proxies instigating destabilizing acts of civil unrest and low-level violence within Middle Eastern countries. When the US launched largely unilateral military operations in the 2000s within Afghanistan and Iraq to prevent terrorist attacks and the development of WMDs, it quickly became apparent that the swift military-based victories of the past were no longer an achievable goal. The Middle East in which the Gulf War took place is largely gone now. In its place is a simmering regional conflict between Iran and Saudi Arabia, nations like Syria and Iraq on the brink of becoming failed states, and terrorist groups like ISIS gaining unprecedented funding and power. In the end, the Gulf War did not usher in a new world order, but it did set us on the pathway to the current anarchy that now reigns in the Middle East.
UWA FACT Walking in mid-way through a UWA Film Society screening one Thursday evening, a jaded security guard was very disappointed that what was showing on screen was not porn
POLITIC S
Seventy Years Since Enola Gay: What Have We Learned? Words by Brad Griffin In August 2015, we witnessed the 70th anniversary of the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. It is hard to overstate the importance of these events in a historical sense – two uses of an entirely new kind of weapon irrevocably changed how leaders thought about their nation’s security. Since 1945, there has been no second incidence of deliberate nuclear attack. On the surface, it would seem as if those in the seats of power around the world learnt a valuable lesson that day, and shrunk back from the nuclear brink. However, history tells us this was not the case. The USA, followed by the Soviet Union, UK, France, China, Israel, India, Pakistan North Korea (probably) and South Africa all established their own nuclear weapons programs and produced nuclear weapons. Only South Africa has voluntarily given up their weapons. It begs the question: In this age of peace and prosperity, where the biggest threat to the world’s pre-eminent powers is purely asymmetric in nature, why do these vast nuclear stockpiles still exist? The USA, in concert with Britain and Canada, developed nuclear weapons during the Second World War, eventually using them on Japan to force surrender. There are few credible historians today who agree with the claim that atomic devastation of two Japanese cities was necessary to end the war. Over the course of the Cold War, the opposing arsenals of the USSR and USA were built up to horrifying levels, with over 60,000 nuclear warheads between them by the mid-1980s. The acquisition of nuclear weapons as a means to security is governed by the doctrine of ‘deterrence’ – the idea that having nuclear weapons will deter any other nation from attacking them, lest they risk a nuclear counterattack. This doctrine technically works for against other nuclearcapable nations, as they keep each other in check. However, in every conceivable situation that has occurred since 1945, deterrence has failed. The existence of US nuclear weapons did not deter China from entering the Korean War against the USA in 1950. Britain’s own deterrence did not prevent Argentina from invading the Falklands in 1982. The existence of nuclear
deterrence has only deterred more nuclear warfare – hence their existence counteracts itself. The argument is about as absurd and uses the same logic as gun ownership in the USA: “If every American owns a gun, everyone is safe.” However, in the same way that only a select few nations possess nuclear weapons, not all Americans carry guns, but it only takes one for a disaster to occur. According to the International Campaign to Abolish Nuclear Weapons, there are over 15,000 active nuclear warheads currently on Earth. Though this is far below the heights of the Cold War, the realities of the modern day simply do not demand such excesses. Nuclear weapons have demonstrated their own obsolescence. Nukes did not help the USA win in Vietnam, and they are even less effective against the hit-and-run, asymmetric nature of enemies such as Al-Qaeda and the selfproclaimed ‘Islamic State’. Having 30,000 nuclear weapons sure didn’t stop the dissolution of the USSR in 1991. When it comes to modern day security and national interests, nuclear weapons have time again proven to be expensive and utterly useless. When running for President in 2007, Obama made nuclear disarmament a main objective of his presidency. Over the years of his presidency, and through multiple meetings with Russian and Republican leaders, his conviction has faltered. Nobody wants to be the first one to leave the party, especially when you brought the most booze.
It is ironic that the two principal aggressors of the war that ushered in this age of peace and prosperity are now such fine global role models. They both possess the necessary infrastructure and expertise to very easily acquire nuclear weapons, yet they do not. They are two nations that truly understand the horror of war – Japan especially, being the only victim of deliberate nuclear attack. They provide brilliant examples of nations that can wield great diplomatic power purely through economic and soft power. Neither are permanent members of the United Nations Security Council or recognized Nuclear Weapons States like the USA, UK, Russia, France, and China. Japan and Germany present to the world a picture of future multilateral cooperation without the threat of nuclear annihilation. Germany has demonstrated its willingness and ability to successfully exert diplomatic pressure abroad. The recent nuclear deal reached with Iran is cause for hope. While it is not perfect, and these agreements never are, it is a landmark achievement for diplomacy for the Obama administration. A Middle Eastern regime that had been hostile to the West for over forty years was brought to the table and successfully negotiated away from the nuclear brink. However, stopping nations from acquiring these weapons is just the beginning. It’s taken seventy years to stop the spread of nuclear weapons, and if cooler heads continue to prevail, I think we have reason to be hopeful about the next seventy years.
Prema’s Picks: Top five party themes of 2015 4. Outdated memes party 1. Peanut butter jelly time? Mudkipz? Chuck Norris? 2. Announce that it’s time for cake and then tell everybody that the cake is a lie 3. ???? 4. PROFIT
UWA FACT UWA is the only place in the world where the saying “find a penny pick it up, all the day you’ll have good luck” does not apply. It is in fact, at UWA it is very bad luck to pick a penny up
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POLITIC S
The Wacky World of Small Political Parties Words by Samantha Goerling
Politically disenchanted, dissatisfied and disdainful? You’re not alone. Over the years, many small, weird political parties have emerged (but not necessarily survived) to address contempt with major parties, their priorities, and the political system at large. Here’s a choice selection. Eastern Europe Beer lovers found their place in 1990s Eastern Europe, where Belarus, Czechoslovakia and Ukraine all sprouted parties politicising beer adoration. Boasting a membership of 50 000, the Beer Lovers Party in Russia sought to politically engage and unify a frustrated people. Surprising internationals in bypassing vodka as their drink of choice, Konstantin Kolachev, the party’s general secretary declared “After vodka, one wants to hit somebody in the face, while beer unites people.” As well as the preservation of natural water resources, essential for a quality brew, the Beer Lovers Party platform advocated for human rights, lower taxation and free trade. Despite gaining 400 000 votes in the 1995 elections, the Beer Lovers did not reach the threshold required to obtain a seat. Perhaps the most successful of this group when it came down to the election crunch was the Polish Beer Lovers party. Their triumphant win of 16 seats at the 1991 election, however, was closely followed by a split into the Big Beer party and the Little Beer party.
Sweden Although it remains unregistered, the Donald Duck Party has received votes in Sweden since 1991. This is particularly perplexing, given that, if registered, it would have ranked as the ninth most popular party in its first year.
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Canada For those who prefer to vote for a registered party, the Rhino Party could have been for you. Yet unfortunately, none of this Canadian party’s 14 candidates were able to obtain a seat in parliament at the 2011 elections. Consequentially, their life changing policies, such as “repealing gravity: have yet to come into fruition. There is speculation that the Rhino party may have imprinted upon the policy writing of close friends at the Hungarian Two-Tailed Dog Party. One might ask if the two had collaborated on the Hungarian party’s 2006 election campaign promise to ‘provide two sunsets’. Should this have been the case, it would appear that their previously social relationship had also become professional, years after first wagging high school physics together. The Canadian Extreme Wrestling party presents another crazy party contender. In order to select their first party leader in 1999, twelve contestants physically battled it out in a wrestling Battle Royale. In a world where vision, intellectual abilities and charisma are prerequisites of success, corresponding qualities are highly valued. This reversion to hierarchical determination based on brute strength, regardless of leadership qualities, may have contributed to their barren election record.
Japan Japan’s Happiness Realisation Party, who aim to double and grow Japan’s population to 300 million, aim to ‘achieve eternal justice,’ and ‘to lead the people toward the realisation of true happiness.’ Many will find their lack of success in the last two elections a relief, given that they seek to remove notorious events from the history book and deny historical war crimes. Flyers claiming the Nanking Massacre was a Chinese Fabrication is a case in point. Perhaps not surprisingly, it appears that complete political dissatisfaction is a global phenomenon. Expressing your disenchantment as a protest vote is in some cases officially legitimate, but supporting certain parties more than others may be far more practical. Of those discussed here, it is the beer loving parties who have developed the most productive platform through which to channel pent up political frustration, attracting supporters with their party names and founding beer protection and appreciation proposals. These parties then broached the actual issues which had originally driven their supporters away from mainstream politics. Watch out, major parties: the Tav may soon be known as the birthplace of Australia’s political renaissance.
UWA FACT An Arts faculty member kept a dream journal. A Science faculty member found it. The revelations, and subsequent bunking-up, did not displease either
FILM
FILM REVIEWS suits and dissonant but strangely soothing music; or else you’re their biggest fan and one of those people in desperate search of the next weirdest thing to impress your musically jaded friends with the sheer breadth of your taste.
THEORY OF OBSCURITY: A FILM ABOUT THE RESIDENTS Director: Don Hardy Jr. Starring: The Residents, Matt Groening, Les Claypool, Pen Gillette The Residents, for the uninitiated, are that band your weirdo friend tried to impress on you at your weakest moment – drunk, high, hungover – late at that one party. You barely remember anything about them apart from jerky images, eyeballs in
In the interest of disclosure, I am that friend. I went to this film with another of my weirdo kin, who first introduced me years ago to The Residents, the members of which remain anonymous after forty years. He gleefully regaled me with Residents rumours and a long conversation about Einstürzende Neubauten (let’s just call it ‘difficult listening’) before we entered the Luna cinema, where my friend Alec – a lean redhead and musician himself – was working. Alec leaned forward conspiratorially: “Apparently they’re going to have a choir on before or something? I have to do the lights for it. Weird, man,” he said with a grimace, and my friend could have hopped with delight. Yes, there was a choir before the show, totally unintroduced and without context, performing select Residents songs at the front of the theatre. An uncomfortable but
Corey Stoll plays Darren Cross (Peter Russo in House of Cards), Pym’s ambitious, scorned mentee with a huge chip on his shoulder. It’s easier to imagine Stoll as an ambitious, technocrat CEO than as the brilliant scientist whose research matches Pym’s on its own merit, but he does well as Yellowjacket once he dons his own suit, which happens to be dope as hell; AntMan’s decidedly less so.
ANT-MAN Director: Peyton Reed Starring: Paul Rudd, Michael Douglas, Corey Stoll, Evangeline Lilly Marvel Studio’s last outing for 2015 ends the second phase of its cinematic universe on an interesting note. Beefed-up funnyman Paul Rudd plays Scott Lang, an altruistic crook hand picked by scientist and ex-soldier Hank Pym (a stiff-necked Michael Douglas) to become Ant-Man. His mission? Steal rival technology from Pym’s old mentee before he uses it for evil.
Ultimately a coming-of-age heist flick, it never feels like the fate of the world is, yet again, at stake (which apparently it is if Cross is allowed to use this technology for military purposes). Comparatively modest, it feels like the Marvel finally took a breath with Ant-Man. Rather than an absolute shitshow on the streets and rooftops of New York, the action is of a smaller scale and very localised: mainly either in Pym’s home or Cross’ offices. It’s clearly been filmed on set and is hard to place in San Francisco beyond the obligatory sweeping vistas of the Golden Gate Bridge. For much of the movie it feels weirdly detached from all the other Marvel films, bar a few forced, throwaway references
polite silence settled over the audience as four people in suits, top hats and eyeball heads groped slowly at the air before the singers. The audience’s simple acceptance of this might have seemed equally bizarre, but this is the Residents modus operandi: like your friend craning over your shoulder as your bleary eyes take in those same lurching eyeball men, their gentle, patient voice whispering: “Just… go with it…” The film? It’s a great introduction to the group, whose work covers a vast array of form – film, album, musical, podcast, computer game – and Don Hardy Jr’s film is like flicking through a book on the subject with characters like Primus’ Les Claypool and Pen Gillette (one-time narrator for their stage show) providing colourful anecdotes about their own experience with the band. Bright and funny with something for both the longterm fan and the inductee, and not many can pull that one off – certainly not me in your lounge room at 2am, anyway. 3.5/5 Richard Moore
to The Avengers. It’s telling that the only cameo is from Falcon, presumably the most inexpensive of the Avengers we were left with at the end of Age of Ultron. This is ultimately to its betterment. Unlike Hulk, the rage-filled loner or the squarejawed all-powerful god Thor, Ant-Man is a fallible, very human hero. His desire to protect his daughter is a simple, but powerful, motive to don a skintight red battle suit. Without the suit he’s just a criminal with morals, rather than a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist like Iron Man. Completely fantastical, this self-aware movie is hugely entertaining and one of the better Marvel flicks. Ant-Man’s story is a fresh reprieve from The Avengers’ squabbling and I like Rudd in the role. 3.5/5 Samuel J. Cox
UWA FACT Consumed by a fear of late-onset halitosis, a lecturer of sports sciences consumes three packets of mentos every day
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FILM
THE CREEPING GARDEN Director: Tim Grabham and Jasper Sharp Starring: Slime mould “Not animal. Not vegetable. Not fungi. [Slight pause]. Slime mould.” It could almost be a line out of a John Carpenter film trailer. Instead, this tremendous invocation is uttered by a polo-shirted man of west country accent, whom the audience discovers stamping with rubber boots and great zeal about the English
country-side, poking about ferns and peering into logs. He searches—for hours on end, some days— for that which resembles “a slimy stomach crawling around on the ground”. The slime mould. A little screen cue labels our Magic Bus man: “amateur mycologist”. It is, indeed, the figure of the eccentric amateur who lands his/herself as de facto star of The Creeping Garden— a documentary which brings to the fore a little-known freak of nature that has so far resisted accurate classification, common knowledge, and the attentions of mainstream science. The self-knowingly nerdy production is pretty much the OKCupid platform for the single-celled, mob-minded organism (which although really deserving a Kingdom of its own, is instead often subjugated to the Kingdom of Fungi). Amping up some slime mould ratings by listing their “basic intelligence”, favourite food (porridge oats), and sharing with us a run of close-ups featuring protoplasmic streaming, the doco does its earnest best to convince us that its snotty, overlooked buddy is deserving of our understanding, and our love. What can I say, things got a little steamy in Luna’s smallest cinema that afternoon.
The Forbidden Room is born of (as his upcoming interactive project Séances is) the simple desire to view lost films now inaccessible. Not necessarily how they would have been, but how they might have been; a madcap fever dream of filmic potential. To this end, the film’s gorgeous recreation of two-strip Technicolor, hand-tinting and other fetishized eraspecific techniques ironically demonstrates Maddin’s wholehearted embrace of the digital media, which he has never shied away from.
THE FORBIDDEN ROOM Director: Guy Maddin & Evan Johnson Starring: Udo Kier, Roy Dupuis, Louis Negin Scorsese’s Hugo and silent pastiches like The Artist are often billed as love letters to silent film. As of his eleventh feature, Guy Maddin has never stopped writing his. Since his first short thirty years ago, the Canadian filmmaker has developed a style and career indebted to the cinema of the decadent, delirious late 20s and the awkward entrance of talkies in the early 30s. 32
The film begins with a mock instructional film (scripted by poet John Ashbery) on how to take a bath, before joining a crew of doomed seamen, losing oxygen aboard a submarine, eating flapjacks to breathe air pockets. Like the acid-induced cousin of One Thousand and One Nights or The Saragossa Manuscript, it becomes from here realistically the most insane frame story I’ve ever experienced; layers thick of stories and recreated films within stories. Narrative digressions are occasioned by everything from the ground, whispering to a hunter keen of ear to the moustache of a dead Udo Kier, visiting its owner’s widow. Whilst this can be overwhelming at times
In terms of structure, the film’s probing curiosity shows up its naiveté and its flaws. The thematic undercurrent of The Creeping Garden is how science and art have been unfairly put at odds, and should— via play— be in a dialogue instead. Yet although the bit about the lady who sells wallpaper of her tessellating pap smears (‘I call this one “rosebud”’) was interesting, the sum of the film’s digressions means that the film’s enthusiasm with its subject grows a little taxing. Our date should really have ended 20 minutes ago is what I’m saying. Moreover, there is actually a sinister prescience to the slime mould. In a study looking at how their growth patterns match up to real-world flows, it was found the slime mould somehow “suggested the separation of East and West Germany in 1947.” Creepy. Maybe I won’t meet up for coffee after all. 3/5 Kate Prendergast
(even more so for those unfamiliar with Maddin or films of the period), it helps that the film is hysterically funny. Full of the campy humour not always noted about his films, for example as I can’t wait to revisit, a song written for the film by 80s new wave band Sparks about, as the inter-title suggested, a man ‘plagued by bottoms’. With films of almost every director from the era and some 70% of American silent films lost, what fan of silent cinema has not gazed longingly at descriptions of lost films and dreamed of their possibilities? It’s his ability to distil this spirit of naïve wonder in a way that only Maddin can that makes this one of his best, most heartfelt entries in his career-long love letter to date, one I never wish to finish. 4.5/5 Holly Munt
UWA FACT The 2015 Graduate Sexual Satisfaction Survey ranks UWA no. 4 in the country (the horndogs over at Notre Dame rank no. 1)
MUSIC
Living Vicariously Through the Aux Cord: Four Simple Steps Words by Harry Manson Art by Laura Wells It’s finally here: the day of your big party, and the monumental playlist is nearly complete. Or hey, maybe it’s someone else’s big party, and the perfect moment to show everyone your encyclopedia of carefully considered party-appropriate music is on the horizon. There’s just that one looming threat: someone stealing your aux cord mid-track and chucking on Radiohead or that ‘Impulse’ song from Guitar Hero 3 or something. And let me tell you, once that ball starts rolling it doesn’t stop until the night does. So I’ve prepared a comprehensive guide for you on how to assert your hard-earned place on the music-picking throne, and stay there. Know your audience Parties attract all sorts, and different parties attract even more sorts, so it’s important to know beforehand who exactly you’re going to be catering to during the proceedings, and adjust the playlist accordingly. If people like the music then the thought that it could be different won’t cross their mind, and you can keep doing what you’re doing. Parties themed around specific time periods or subcultures will make this very easy for you. Just be careful not to take too much liberty with what you choose -- even though there’s a 70’s theme and you’re
really getting into them at the moment, most people probably aren’t going to want to party to Faust. Keep up to date On the subject of making the right song choices,while avoiding complete inappropriateness is important, so is keeping your picks relevant. Most of the time you’re going to have to inspire people with the right blend of familiarity and freshness. Obviously anything off Currents is going to go down well with most right now, or you could try Shamir for something a little bit less obvious that’s along a similar line. PC Musicesque bubblegum EDM like Sophie is a trendy risk but works wonders in the right situation. Beyond this you should rely on your own expertise. In terms of housecleaning, you can very, very safely retire anything from RAM at this point. And if you still have ‘Pumped Up Kicks’ sitting around you may have some serious thinking to do. Know what to do with queue Most of the time the shuffle button is integral to the party but only rarely is it a generous beast. While a flawlessly shuffled playlist is something we should all strive for, if it’s 11:30 on a distinctly 2015 night and you still
haven’t accredited yourself with a hot Currents play or similar, queue functions are your friend. By queuing you can swiftly cultivate specific songs without worrying about that crushing moment of silence that happens when you cut off whatever’s playing by scrolling a bit too boldly. Queue can also let you dodge potential aux cord hijacks: as long as you keep a watchful eye and a keen tongue, partygoers’ requests can be redirected into queues, letting you stay on top. Be prepared for anything If you’re serious about this, it can be a good idea to prepare not just one playlist, but many. Each of these can apply to different stages of the night, or different parties altogether. You can have playlists themed around hip-hop, upbeat indie pop, darker downtempo, dadrock, anything! This is a great way to show off versatility and eclecticism, and over time people may pick up on your great adaptive, all-encompassing curation skills and start to put faith in your playlists. When this is achieved, you can rest assured that no one will even think about interrupting you by starting a conversation, and you can pick away in peace.
UWA FACT Hacks, an upcoming documentary about UWA’s student politicians, will debut next year at Cannes
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MUSIC
MUSIC REVIEWS
Girls Pissing on Girls Pissing Scrying in Infirmary Architecture (Muzai Records) I was prepared to be disappointed on my first listen of Girls Pissing On Girls Pissing’s, Scrying in Infirmary Architecture. From the album’s two preceding singles ‘A Fraud Abroad’ and ‘Rainbow Islands’, it seemed like the Auckland 5-piece had abandoned the heavier, skramz-influenced aspects of their sound in favour of a more accessible psychedelic aesthetic. But even a quick listen to their sophomore release reveals that, if anything, GPOGP have gotten more brutal and discordant since the 2013’s Eeling. Bass takes a central role here, especially on the tracks ‘The Twelfth House’ and ‘Pollen Moon’ both of which feature relentless, unadorned rhythm tracks at their core. On this base GPOGP have built an eerie temple of discordant post-punk guitar, unsettling synths and a vocal variety that covers everything from Orchid to This Heat to The Breeders. This diversity of vocal styles is reflective of the bands broader philosophy of genre non-conformance, and for me this is what cements this album as one of the year’s best so far. Even the singles which I found initially disappointing fit beautifully into the album’s diverse fabric, with Rainbow Islands slipping in ahead of Dick Diver’s ‘Leftovers’ as frontrunner in the race for ‘Sax Solo of the Year’ and ‘A Fraud Abroad’ turning out to be the song I’ve always wanted to write about vacuous travellers. This album treads the boundaries between the material and the mystic with the same elegance that it balances melody and discord, and in its harmony it might just be a masterpiece. 9/10 Hugh Manning Northlane - Node (We Are Unified/Rise/New Damage) New South Welsh group Northlane have always been particular favourites within Australia’s growing metalcore scene; their first two releases, Singularity (2013) and Discoveries (2011) were generally lauded by critics for their genre-conventional sound. However, Node is a markedly different style of album than previous- the 2014 adoption of Marcus Bridge as vocalist has subtly changed the group’s style. Instead of a hectic, ‘crammed’ metalcore sound, Node moves instrumentally and structurally closer to a spacious prog-metal style, with a higher proportion of clean vocals. There’s heavy emphasis on ambience within a four-to-five minute time frame; ’Weightless’ and ‘Nameless’ sound like outtakes from Karnivool’s Sound Awake, whereas ‘Ohm’ evokes a heavier Dead Letter Circus. This ultimately allows each song space to breath, and gives Node a clearer sense of direction and coherency. 34
This is not to say that Northlane have abandoned their roots completely. As always, central tracks such as ‘Rot’ and lead single ‘Obelisk’ hit the nail on the head in terms of well-crafted metalcore, balancing out Node’s calmer, atmospheric tracks with Bridge’s screamed vocals and heavy guitar. But even still, these more typical offerings are injected with elements of the atypicala gratuitous bass pause here, a slower drum rhythm there- that tie the entire album together as a hybrid of genres. It’s no wonder that Australian critics are including Node as a top contender for this year’s best metal album. 8/10 Bridget Rumball Wilco – Star Wars (dBpm) After their longest ever term of silence, this year sees 21st century guitar music mainstays Wilco following along with the cute trend of arriving one morning on the Internet’s doorstep unexpectedly with a bouquet of roses and a free album. This is an uncharacteristically fun outing for the band - it’s half an hour long, it’s got a cat on the front, and it’s called flipping Star Wars. Sonically, this is Wilco grounding themselves; after a decade spent flaying rock music alive in the best way possible, the band seem to have used the last 4 years to pick up the pieces and reassemble them into one of the most charmingly normal-yet-nuanced rock albums from a major act in recent years. Songs like ‘Random Name Generator’ and ‘Pickled Ginger’ politely introduce themselves with a groovy, clear familiarity that’s somehow more comforting than derivative. This is thanks to the painstakingly detailed production and guitar work, which is what makes Star Wars still distinguishably Wilco. Repeated listens bring out countless layered effects used so meticulously that it’s hard to imagine such a relaxed sounding band having the energy to go to these lengths, especially in an album that’s so nonchalant and concise. Even amongst the most diehard fans, no one was really expecting a revelation from the next Wilco album. And while Yankee Hotel Foxtrot it is not, Star Wars is framed like such a disarmingly welcome gift that all we’re left able to do as the audience is, well, say thanks. 8/10 Harry Manson Gang of Youths- The Positions (Sony) You may or may not have heard of Sydney band Gang of Youths. After the release of singles ‘Evangelists’ and ‘Benevolence Riots’, they supported Scottish indie band Frightened Rabbit in 2014. This makes perfect sense- Gang of Youths are what Frightened Rabbit would be, if Frightened Rabbit’s Scott Hutchison wrote sprawling songs with a melancholic bent.
UWA FACT If you barely wave to me in the corridor, I won’t endorse you on LinkedIn. No buts
MUSIC
Thematically, The Positions is pretty depressing. Mainly written by lead singer David Le’aupepe during his marriage to a terminal cancer patient, each song paints a sad picture of loss and desperation. But instead of becoming an album full of slow songs about sad things, Gang of Youths utilise razor-sharp wit and a myriad of influences to give Le’aupepe’s candid yet poignant storytelling life. ‘Magnolia’ is upbeat and keyboard-dominant, telling of a drunken freeway drive, whereas album closer ‘The Overpass’ is a string-backed slow burner that rumbles past the seven-minute mark. There are occasions where Le’aupepe’s lyricism shines, to the point where you feel empathy amongst every line sung. ‘Knuckles White Dry’ is a showstopper- a powerful piano ballad that marks the turning point of The Positions’ narrative, in which he pleads ‘Let the dead be the dead/Let us live and disown all pretending/ From here until the car ride home.’ If stretched out, bitingly clever indie rock isn’t your thing, then The Positions will come off as overdrawn. But for those willing to be enchanted by a beautiful exercise in storytelling- look no further. 9.5/10 Bridget Rumball The Amani Consort – Dawn After Dark (Independent) From the moment the stylus hits the record you know you are in for something with a timeless feel. That ironic post-modern play on media leads to an intellectual variety of jazz-funk that exists both as a mood-soothing tonic and a refreshing background for a laid back social interlude. This album has style, hipster it is not. It opens with the instrumental ‘After Dark’ leading in from the scratchy LP introduction. Both ‘Hard Times’ and ‘Getting by’ are caustic social commentary by Aysha Amani offset by a soulful funk. The band follow this up with ‘Eazy’, ‘Leaving You’, ’Memories’, ‘Love Addiction’ and ‘Two Sides’ offering observations on love and relationships. The album finishes with another instrumental, ‘Dawn after Dark’ showcasing the talents of James Claringbold on bass, Bronton Ainsworth on drums, Alex Borthwick on guitar and the keyboard stylings of Gordon Cant. This is a band of professionals who have bright careers in front of them. As a debut album they hint at much potential. A couple more years of playing in gin-soaked, smoke-filled saloons will fill out their music to realise what they got to offer. The question is, would I buy the album? Good luck with that, it being a limited release with assistance of DOCA, but yes, I would. More importantly would I see them live? I’ll catch you in the saloon. 7/10 Mark Smith Tame Impala – Currents (Interscope)
crowd. My mate went over and chatted while I remained seated; eventually he came back, and Kevin returned to distractedly sipping his wine. Go tell that story to a Brazilian backpacker and they’ll shit their pants. It’s this familiarity with Tame Impala - with their sound, their humble beginnings and their meteoric rise to fame - that stops me from buying into the hype surrounding their new album, Currents. Taken on its own merit, Currents is a well-produced synthpop record with some interesting psych aspects; the neo-psychedelic jams of previous releases reimagined as tripped-out EDM bangers. However, as a follow-up to 2012’s Lonerism and 2010’s Innerspeaker - two albums that paved the way for the new wave of Aussie psychedelia - Currents is largely a disappointment. The album certainly has its strengths: songs such as “The Moment” and “Past Life” show the greatest use of frontman and songwriter Parker’s new direction, and tasty little interludes like “Nangs” and “Gossips” are brilliant additions. What Currents brings to the table sonically is much more vocal and synth-driven, placing a spotlight on Kevin’s masterful production and use of effects, but as a consequence his often weak vocal delivery and shitty, shitty lyrics also come to the fore. Songs like “New Person, Same Old Mistakes” or the abhorrent “Yes, I’m Changing” drag the entire production down and show, in my opinion a far less attractive side of Kevin’s psyche. Currents is a strong release from one of West Australia’s most-beloved bands, but fails to reach the heights of the band’s previous releases. 6.5/10 Nick Morlet Kitchen People – Kitchen People (Independent) I’ve seen Kitchen People live a few times and I always thought they would be one of those bands who are better live, and drunk. Their self-titled album has however proved me wrong, tracking banger after banger. I had to slam dance in my bedroom to the second track, ‘New Gods,’ for a little while before sitting down to write. Lead singer Jake Suriano told me that he is trying to write pop music now, but the former Agitated guitarist can’t really shake his roots. Every piece on this brimming with energy, combining punk enthusiasm with a light-hearted pop sensibility- imagine the Clash crossed with L.A.-via-Newcastle punks The Gooch Palms. Highlights included boppy surf tune ‘Wave’; ‘Complicated,’ for its too-honest lyrics and cheesy 90’s riff; and ‘Gutter,’ a lilting exercise in self-deprecation, with a droning crescendo reminiscent of Parquet Courts. The riffs on this album are on-point, catchy and vibrant yet diverse enough to create a varied topography throughout. Kitchen People is perfect music for car trips. 8/10 Jessica Cockerill
I saw Kevin Parker the other day. He was drinking with his girlfriend at the Norfolk, sticking out like dog’s balls despite doing his best to remain anonymous in the mixed weeknight UWA FACT The view of Winthrop Hall at dusk inspired several tracks on Tame Impala’s Currents
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MUSIC
MATILDA BAY MUSINGS #6 - Jean Carne – ‘My Love Don’t Come Easy’ (1979) with Tristan Fidler A couple making out in a tradie’s four-wheel-drive. A kid practising kicking an AFL football while his dad takes a photo. Petite dogs being led by a leash across an oval. Everywhere you look at Matilda Bay, there’s a party going on. When I think of parties, I think about the idea of separation. The lights from a party inside a club or a restaurant near the water, a reflection of sparkling diamonds off from the moonlight. A person strays from the pack – separation – and wanders off by themselves. Greater Gatsby status. Stand and gaze at the party like it was a silver screen, watching the party carry on like it was a movie or a Netflix browser menu.
Sometimes you can stay too long at a party and you’re standing there tired, and you’re done in the oven like the proverbial turkey, and what is the point. If you feel tired, just leave. That’s Party Advice #2. Just then, a jogger gave me a sideways glance because I was talking into my phone – that’s how I write these things. As I said before, there’s a party going on everywhere you look.
Speaking of movies, there’s a movie called Celeste and Jesse Forever, which is not as good as I thought. But there is a scene where Celeste, played by Rashida Jones, feeling sad and single, walks away from a party while the sounds of Donnie and Joe Emmerson’s late-1970s cult soft-rock hit ‘Baby’ plays on the soundtrack. Then fireworks go off in the sky, colours are reflected across her face, while people sway in slow-motion. It’s a pretty perfect scene in an otherwise imperfect movie. That song, ‘Baby’, is also used in the opening scene of The Comedy where Tim and Eric drink beer half-naked and sweat-drenched, wrestling each other, another great albeit nightmarish party scene. Then that Ariel Pink cover of ‘Baby’ was used in The Spectacular Now where Miles Teller gets all nostalgic at his prom, watching his class-mates dance, saying “I love these people.” So, why am I not recommending ‘Baby’ as this month’s soft-serve treat? Because it’s obvious, and a little too hypnotically slow. If you’re at a party, I’m sorry, but it’s got to be a toe-tapper. So re-enact any of these movie scenes with Jean Carne’s 10-minute version of ‘My Love Don’t Come Easy.’ A party should be like that song, slow and smooth, but with a beat and a groove, that builds and rises with orchestral strings. Then you got Jean Carne just laying it out for you, “My love don’t come easy, not tonight…” hitting the high notes every chorus. That chorus, that sentiment: nothing good ever comes easy. Sometimes a party might bite, but you put a little effort in, and it’s the greatest night since sliced bread (sorry, sliced brioche buns, gotta keep relevant). A few pieces of advice about parties. One night, I sat in my car outside a party that I was invited to for about an hour, still deciding if I was going to go in or not. Just because I wasn’t sure if there were enough people that I knew inside or fundamentally, if I could be bothered. Indecision lasted too long and so I called it quits, wasted an hour of my life. Party Advice #1: when you’re outside a party and you’re invited, just go inside. If it sucks, you can just leave. 36
Prema’s Picks: Top five party themes of 2015 5. Dead Game of Thrones Characters You can finally wear your Jon Snow costume.
UWA FACT A Gorman scarf will get you 10% off at any guild catering outlet
LITERATURE
BOOK REVIEWS Audrey at Home: Memories of my Mother’s Kitchen Luca Dotti
The Girl with Seven Names Hyeonseo Lee One of the few insiders’ accounts of North Korea available to the Western World, Hyeonseo Lee’s book, The Girl With Seven Names, is a good read for anyone hoping to get a better idea of life under the Great Leader. I went into this expecting the narrative to make up for the writing— I’ve a bad habit of undermining anything that isn’t a Penguin Classic. However, this was a smooth read, full of concise, intimate snapshots of the author’s life. Lee captures the subtle conflicts between the expectations of the State and the natural experience of adolescence: the desire to express herself as an individual, but also to protect her family. Lee grew up in a privileged household, which had rare access to some outside influence, privacy, and opportunities to express individualism. In many ways, the picture she paints of North Korea is surprisingly normal, albeit with the occasional jarring caveat— a public execution here, a gulag there. However The Girl with Seven Names does track Lee’s increasing awareness of the State’s faults, as North Korea’s stability declines during the 90’s famine, and she escapes into China. She is honest in admitting to the things she loved about her homeland, and her struggle to be free is heartbreaking. Lee’s book not only attests to the failings of communist North Korea to actually create a classless society, but also to smother the impulse of individualism. Worst bit: Lee has a real habit for clumsy and cheesy cliffhangers. Someone needs to tell her this is not an essential component of chapter composition. Best bit: Lee’s badass mum, who must be one of the most resilient ladies ever. 3.5/5 stars Jessica Cockerill’s favourite Communist leader is Ho Chi Minh. She has a tiny, plastic bust of him above her bed.
A good gift for your classy western suburbs sugar mummie (or actual family member). Written by Hepburn’s son, Audrey at Home starts off interesting, mostly talking about Audrey Hepburn’s experiences during the war and the famine she had to endure. The rest of the book then either follows the pattern of “‘she once ate a muffin, here’s a recipe”’, or sporadically mentions relatives and friends of Audrey, followed by their recipes. I guess the idea of the book is cute: snippets of the fashion icon’s life, with recipes that are connected and that tell her story (and also tie into her overall #aesthetic). However, I do wonder how genuine this book is. It’s hard to tell whether they’ve just thrown a biography and a recipe book together because they know it would make them big $moneys$. Audrey spent a lot of her life moving around Europe, and I feel in my waters that this book kinda milks this for the cultural prestige, allowing the family to show off how European-y they are. To be fair, the recipes do sound really good, (my fave is the ‘Penne alla Vodka’), but for someone that just broke their food budget on a 5kg bag of homebrand white rice, most of the recipes are a little too fancypants. It was very hard reviewing this recipe book, because the whole time I was reading it I was super hungry, but also did not have ‘bouquet garni’ or ‘1 1/2 kg of beef cheeks’ or whatever the book was asking for at the ready. Ultimately, I think the main purpose of this book was to be on display. It’s not the sort of book that you actually read, you just kind of... have it around? Like, the cover, the pictures, the recipes: all quite pretty. The cover of the book is quite pretty, the pictures inside the book are pretty, the recipes sound pretty. So I guess if you’re looking for a good gift, and you feel that $49.99 is how much you love your chosen family member/friend/sugar mum, then this book is probably not a bad choice. Or perhaps if you happen to be both an avid fan of Audrey Hepburn and European cooking, you will probably also like this book.. Otherwise, it’s really probably not the sort of book most people would rush out to buy.
Dark Places Gillian Flynn If Gone Girl was the first Gillian Flynn novel you read, stop there: you’ve hit the sweet spot. Gillian’s concept for Dark Places, just as in Gone Girl, is excellent. The reader follows Libby, the only survivor to her family’s mass murder as, after years of resentment grounded in the belief that her brother Ben murdered her family, she attempts to uncover the truth of what really happened “that [fateful] night”. Her lack of money, and inability to continue to live off the book earnings of her tragic past, force her to accept a paid expedition into the minefield of her family’s lies. Graphic and corrosive, the novel deals with devil worship, deceit, debt and obsession. The characters’ secrets are well-hidden and slowly revealed to the reader through flashback chapters of alternating narrative voice. But that’s where it begins to fall apart. Just as in Gone Girl, the brilliance of the concept and narrative is undermined by a writing style that feels borderline amateur. Although the content is definitely adult, the style is similar to that of Collins or Roth. The narrative voices of Libby and her brother feel remarkably similar, and the hints to the reader lose their subtlety as the book progresses, to the point where you can pick the ending halfway through. Admittedly, it gets more enjoyable the further you read—but contrary to the usual novel, which starts strong and then disintegrates as the author becomes bored with their concept— the end is still a relief,(when it finally arrives). If you’re looking for something to read one chapter at a time, which you can put down just as easy as pick up, I’d say this is the book for you. One despairs that the film, starring and produced by Charlize Theron, did not blow this out of the water as much as Fincher’s did for Gone Girl. As much as it seems harsh, Gone Girl is thus far Flynn’s magnum opus, and we’d be best not to forget it. Best Bit: There are some good insults which you can write down for later use
Best bit: The recipes sound really good
Worst Bit: The film wasn’t any better than the novel
Worst bit: I’m too povo to afford to make any of them
2/5 stars
3/5 stars
Nina Heymanson is an undercover nonna for the SISMI and likes to spend Friday nights with tea and Biscotto, her cat
Michael Trown is an aspiring Centrelink enthusiast
UWA FACT Renovations are underway in the old guild wing to convert offices into a penthouse suite for the guild managing director
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LITERATURE
Thomas Pynchon’s Paper Bag Masked Party: An Oral History Words and Art by Kate Prendergast
JONATHAN FRANZEN: I was sitting in Kirschbaum’s Bakery one morning, halfway through a strudel, when this girl walked up to me, all Helveticalight glasses, braided hair and jelly sandals, and she says to me “you’re one of them, ain’t cha?” “Uhhhh,” I said. She nodded slowly and worked with licked middle finger the coconut sprinkles from a half-eaten lamington on the table next to mine. She then picked up the lamington and broke it in half. Inside was a ring with a dolphin inset, blue zircon I’d say. She gave it to me. “November eight, twenty-four Hunter Crescent, 8:25 on the clock. Wear the ring. Wear a paper bag on your head. As to the rest of the get-up, he doesn’t mind.” “Who doesn’t mind?” I said. She winked, and smashed a sugar bowl over my strudel. In the gelatine remains, I read: Pynchon. SADIE STEIN: About half the guests arrived with paper bags on their heads. By 8:30, nobody could be arsed. MARCUS ZUZAK: It all went down in a Californian beach house, a little way east of Santa Barbara—this huge glasspanelled shanty set halfway in the dunes, surrounded by an actual moat. I was told it was the third-phase conversion of an 80s bar—original name, The Rhomboid Grapefruit & Sash. HARUKI MURAKAMI: He sure rounded up some big players. Most of them were writers—your Ondaatjes and your Atwoods—but there were also the suits and spinners—the Hollywood sortie, old songsters, fresh desperadoes, ships captains, Korean businessmen, cosmonauts, Icelandic chefs. Foley guys running round like ants, holding mikes to the exploding popcorn machines. Tilda Swinton was there, so was David Bowie. No one could tell them apart. Maggie Smith claimed she saw El Chapo climbing out from the neck of one of the gigantic swan sculptures by the lake, but I haven’t heard anyone yet back that one up. TERRENCE MALICK: No, I did not go to the party. No, I will not host my own. WENDELL PIERCE: Pynchon also just chucked these I guess what you’d call “regulars” into the mix. I talked to a guy who had already retired on a patent for the recliner technology you get in comfy chairs. Said he’d just got an invite in the mail.
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Thought it was a hoax. Still thinks it’s a hoax, actually. But he came anyway. I think he was a lot smarter than a lot of the people who showed. MATTHEW REILLY: I was invited! Take that Patterson! CORMAC McCARTHY: I came to the party at 7 o’clock in the evening, but made my way slowly up the drive when it came to entering. The mud mask of the day and its thoughts was still clenched tightly about my skin. The time had come to hoist a circus mask. There is such urgency to dissemble in the primal rituals of men. The vacant sigils, the awful shirts, the fricative sounds of heels scraping, scraping upon dust. As I stood on the drive, contemplating these things, a cold blast of wind came howling from the north like the last dank breath of God. With it came the certainty of death. I looked up at the house, and saw it for what it was— the past trying to make ostentatious salvage of itself. The bodies within believed its florid lights trembled with joy, with life—they did not. They trembled with fear. Outside, from where I stood, the cold candle oblongs shattered the blackness in unyielding rupture, as if a huge sleeping dog had— in the spasm of a nightmare— curled up its jaw in a snarl to reveal pale teeth. CHUCK PALAHNUIK: Christ, McCarthy is such a massive fucking downer. DAVID MITCHELL: I spent two minutes talking to McCarthy and actually wanted to kill myself, one minute in. He kept producing these awful prophetic saws, like— and I swear to god this is a word-for-word quote— he said “the horizon thuds a brutal hyphen. An abridgement of the calamity of all who struggle in the muck beneath its awning.” Who the hell talks like that? I bet he has a whole collection of the damned things he keeps in reserve for these kinds of events. But I mean, just being habitually doomy, that’s fine. I can dig the mortality hangup thing. It’s basically literature. Or literature’s muse, whatever. But more than that, the guy was also just plain rude? Kept saying how he didn’t really associate with authors. “The clan to which he had been wrongly cursed”. I’ve heard he hangs out with scientists instead. Maybe they have ready access to Prozac, I don’t know. STEPHEN KING: Cormac skulked right past me and stood brooding by a mountain of tuna melt for most of the night. We occupy different kinds of shadow. Mine are more fun to play in. TIM WINTON: Why didn’t anyone talk to me? DAVID MITCHELL: Oh man, there was so much food. I mean, it was ridiculous how much food there was. Nothing you’d find on any regular menu though. Captain Crackers in hamster tubes running all around the room, beef tamales wrapped up
UWA FACT There is a special meeting room designated for students who ask for salad with their guild lasagne rather than wedges
LITERATURE
in these lovely little swaddles of crinkle-foil just oozing guac, chilli pretzels you could stick your arms through. There was this redhead walking round serving pikelets from a pikelet-tower headdress . The maple syrup ran down her neck, down her shoulders, dripped down onto the linoleum. STEPHEN KING: The main show was the enormous octopus. It hadn’t even been dismembered. I wasn’t even sure if it was dead— some of the tentacles were still twitching, but I’ve heard sometimes they do that, even when the brain is kaput? Trump began tussling with it, pretending it was an alien or something. CHUCK PALAHNUIK: I’m telling you, it was all about the pizza. There was one table, it must’ve been the size of five pool tables, and basically the top of it was just covered in one enormous margarita pizza. Rosy little plump cherry tomatoes as far as the eye could see. There wasn’t a slicer though, so people just started kind of tugging off chunks. It was kind of pathetic. HEMINGWAY’s GHOST: If a man is to be a man, he must know by instinct when intervention is the same thing as duty. I saw the results of their efforts—the tatty base, the cheese fraying over the tabletop—and the shame in my brothers ran deep. MARGARET ATWOOD: Yeah, Hemingway cut the pizza for us. I don’t know how exactly, because the switchblade he used was transparent. But he did it. He mostly wafted backwards and forwards through the venison after that. Last time I saw him, he was sitting in the gravy boat like it was a hot tub, showing off his boar-hunting scars to Amy Schumer, who was like “yahhhhhhhhhh?” DONALD TRUMP: Every lady writer at the party was flirting with me. And the maids. They couldn’t help it— I don’t blame them. Even the Mexican lady! Ha! Ha! Goes to show, doesn’t it! They know I’m the one that’s going to be syndicating their wordy snob nonsense come November next year. JK ROWLING: Trump thought I was a maid. There were no maids at that party. Cannot wait to tweet about this! DAVID MITCHELL: At one point Trump straight-up ignored Murakami… it was really awkward. HARPER LEE’S AGENT: I thought he was rather pleasant. We were in the middle of a good parlay over the state of modern America when Hilary butted in. TONI MORRISON: Yeah, it was kind of weird. Pynchon had hired this lanky-as-hell teenager to wheel round a Mac computer on a truncated dinner cart so that Hillary could video-link the show from Wales or whether the hell she was calling from. She’d shout to him “forward! Right! Thirty degrees! The billiard room!
The billiard room!” and just jam herself into any old corner. After a while, people pretended there was a bug in the audio system. HILARY MANTEL: I feel new communications technology allows for unique, trans-versal, liberated forms of engagement, where I can be talking to Franzen about the gender asymmetry in his novels at an important dinner function whilst at the same time wearing slippers and writing my new novel. Honestly, it’s the way of the future. JK ROWLING: She has the eyes of a newt. HILARY MANTEL: I had a gorgeous time. DAVID MITCHELL: So of course, everyone was wondering— when are we going to see our host? Are we going to see our host? MARGARET ATWOOD: Ten o’clock, twelve o’clock, three... people started giving up, drifting out. JONATHAN FRANZEN: Fucking “I’m-such-a-Mystery Man”. Oh, oh, oh I’m so postmodern, I’m not afraid of printing sentences like “danger’s over, Banana Breakfast is saved.” He loves the attention. Loves it. HARUKI MURAKAMI: He never showed in the end. Or, maybe he did. Maybe we just didn’t realize it. He could have been anybody really. He could’ve been that one guy who never removed the paper bag from his head. He could’ve been the dude who ran round shouting “I’m Thomas Pynchon! I’m Thomas Pynchon!” the whole evening. He could’ve been the guy hashing out the best way to marinate wild mushrooms with Matthew Holness. He could’ve been Matthew Holness. Who knows, man. Who knows. THOMAS PYNCHON: ? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ?
UWA FACT The only guaranteed way to get a parking space at UWA is to sit behind a P-Plater trying to parallel park, and wait for them to give up
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PORTRAIT OF THE ARTIST Words by Samuel J. Cox Opened in November 2012, MOANA Project Space has established itself in the contemporary and emerging art sector as a venue for art that once did not have a dedicated platform in Perth. An artist-run initiative (ARI) rather than a commercial gallery or an institution funded by the state or federal government (like the Art Gallery of Western Australia), MOANA is a platform for the production and display of contemporary art, with a distinct focus upon developing and exhibiting exceptional early-career artists. I spoke with co-director and co-owner UWA alumni Dale Buckley. “MOANA was always intended as a test-bed for experimental work, which is why it’s called a ‘project space’ rather than a gallery. Large institutions often have projects spaces where the riskiest or cutting-edge work is shown, and where failure can be embraced as a legitimate outcome,” Buckley said. “I never want to hear that people loved everything they saw. If a program is exclusively aesthetic, inoffensive and easy to understand, it’s too safe. We will often program art that I don’t agree with, or even like, but that I can see being important or significant.” The project space takes its name from the Moana Chambers Building in which it sits, which in turn sources its title from the the Maori and Polynesian word for water. A bohemian hangout and bootleg distillery in past lives, the Chambers Building has been revitalised thanks to Spacemarket, an organisation specialising in “pairing disused space with useful people.” For those who haven’t been inside, the project space is an architecturally unique custom designed room, with walls that slant and slope, and a triangular door, hovering at the edge of a heritage ballroom redeveloped to include multi-disciplinary studios and a café. Buckley says the small size of the space is challenging, but not limiting. “It provides the artist with a set of conditions, but what they accomplish within those can be very creative. The main consequence is that a lot of ‘site-specific’ work is created. That means that a lot of bodies of work or pieces of art have been made specifically to fit into this venue, and to respond to its unique conditions.” Artists and curators enjoy use of the space rent free and any money MOANA makes is poured back into strengthening the program, rather than paying the four members of permanent staff. To pay artists for their involvement in programs or to cover the ongoing costs of the venue, the project depends 40
upon Local, State or Federal government grants, which is why Buckley is angered by the recent “huge and catastrophic” change Australian arts funding. In the 2015-16 Federal budget the Hon. George Brandis QC (Attorney General and Minister for the Arts – the crusader against illegal downloading) redistributed funds from the Australia Council for the Arts (the peak Federal funding and advisory body) to establish the “flawed and problematic”, says Buckley, National Program for Excellence in the Arts (NPEA). Without delving too deeply into industry politics, this has meant MOANA, and other small to medium galleries, have lost access to funding grants that no longer exist. Buckley paints a grim picture of a sector in crisis, but MOANA is actually in the process of expanding its operations. “It is a risky time to do so, but our new lease is short-term, subsidised and flexible so the risk is manageable. The new art space is in the basement of a defunct department store in the centre of Fremantle.” Buckley is referring to the old Myer building which was also reinvented by Spacemarket and is now called Many 6160 (it used to house the rooftop bar Dave’s Cans). “Spacemarket operate as a platform to let creative industries and people who need atypical space find unusual, disused tenancies significantly beneath market rate.” Expected to open around December and run for at least a year, it is intended to exist mainly as a dark space, rather than as a traditional white wall gallery, dedicated to the exhibition of video, performance, light-based work and large scale installation. At 2700 square metres, it will be the largest ARI in Australia, so certain work, like painting, would get lost in the space. There will also be a program of live music and critically minded film screenings (no Rocky Horror Picture Show). Not to be bound by bricks and mortar, Buckley considers MOANA a curatorial production platform, rather than a specific space, and he and his team have used it to present exhibitions at the 2015 Perth International Arts Festival and the upcoming SPRING 1883, an invitation-only art fair in Sydney. Although he had no experience as a director or curator prior to launching MOANA, Buckley, as a Fine Arts graduate, had made a career from the visual arts and was frustrated by the state of contemporary practice in Western Australia, particularly the lack of spaces in which to exhibit.
UWA FACT The UWA Students Facebook page profiles students known to have little to no career prospects
ARTS
“I first and foremost see myself as an arts practitioner, but I felt I needed to address the endemic problems in the way in which the Western Australian visual arts industry operates and is organised. The opportunities for Perth-based artists to exhibit, to sell and to make a living off their work are extremely limited. Arts organisations like MOANA play a very important role in broadening those opportunities,” Buckley said. In his role as co-director, he has had to prioritise the showcasing of other work over developing his own. He often works up to 70 hours a week unpaid and suggests that this is why ARIs are often short-lived. “Generally, the people who work at ARIs don’t derive income from what they do, as the focus is upon artistic excellence rather than profits. This means we are doing for free all the work that people in private galleries and large institutions are paid to do. However, rightly or wrongly, there is this notion in most creative industries that you are expected to work for free in your early career. If you are going to do that it is far more valuable and rewarding to be deciding things for yourself rather than working for other people.” As an artist, Buckley makes sculptural objects out of unconventional materials, along with video and Internet based work, that deal with the notions of language, utopia and failure. His eyes lit up as he animatedly and eloquently tried to explain a recent work to me. “I washed an original Afghani war rug, produced during the Soviet occupation of Afghanistan, with a smoke grenade in a washing machine that was deliberately engineered to self-destruct in the act of washing.” Filmed up to 30 times, the washing machine was overcharged and all the counterweights were removed so that it literally tore itself apart from the inside and ended up in pieces. Now common at sites of many conflicts, original Afghani war rugs were produced by the Mujahideen to sell
“MOANA was always intended as a test-bed for experimental work”
to the West to fund their war efforts. The Mujahideen were CIA. funded freedom fighters who became the Taliban once they succeeded in ousting the puppet government installed by the Soviets. “Traditionally, Afghan rug weaving was based on abstract geometric patterns, but these war rugs were much more figurative and featured tanks and bombs,” Buckley explains. “During the post-9/11 Allied occupation of Afghanistan, the Afghanis started producing war rugs again, except these were specifically made to sell to US infantrymen. Instead of being a tool of protest, they became an extremely generic, commoditised object. My work explores how these original artefacts were politically laundered on their journey into the West and turned into souvenirs of the Allied occupation. Contrast this with the arrival of refugees of that same conflict to Western shores and you see how the term asylum-seeker or refugee has been changed, or laundered, into ‘boat-person’ or ‘illegal alien’. In the process of travelling to the West both have been transformed.” Incredibly intelligent and an astute observer, Buckley took me inside an industry that is underrepresented in the media and introduced me to the realities of life as an artist, director and curator. MOANA PROJECT SPACE can be found in the Hay Street Mall next to David Jones and I recommend you take a look. For more information: http://www.moana-ari.com/; http:// cargocollective.com/moanastudio.
UWA FACT Sponsored by K-Mart
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ARTS
All in All For those of you that didn’t attend WHATEVEREST, the sickest local art event of the year so far, you missed out. There was free beer, live music, and hot babes everywhere. Kate and Zac, members of the collective that put it all together, have told the Pelican a little about ALL IN ALL, what they do, and why. Tell us a bit about what goes into presenting events such as WHATEVEREST (past, present, future...) Kate: ALL IN ALL is a meeting of minds of Zac Bruce, Kate Daniel, Simone Goddard and Ellen Broadhurst. We are artists musicians, social enterprise entrepreneurs and babes. Zac: Usually we get together, have a few drinks and just talk nonsense, try to come up with a kind of loose conceptual base for the show. We’re all relatively new to curating so it can feel like a bit of a bizarre verbal wank-fest sometimes. It’s fun though, maybe even the most exciting part of the process. Once we have a vague manifesto type thing everyone suggests artists that might fit, or just anyone we’re aware of that is doing something interesting or weird at the moment, then we send a brief to the artists/bands. After that we sit on our arses until the afternoon of the show when we freak the fuck out, hang all the art, set up the PA and hope for the best. How did ALL IN ALL come together as a collective? Where do you plan on going? Is there a plan? Zac: One day I just told Ellen Broadhurst that she needed to have an exhibition. It was getting ridiculous; she had all this incredible art and all these ripper ideas but she had barely exhibited before. I asked Kate Daniel and Simone Goddard to get involved because they both make sweet art and they know what they’re doing (which I certainly don’t). It’s quickly evolved into a really inclusive
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platform for emerging artists. So many people in Perth are making bizarre and beautiful and horrifying things (I’m thinking Jaxon Waterhouse) that we feel need a space, need to be acknowledged, talked about, and (hopefully) sold. ALL IN ALL is about giving these artists a meaningful, exciting environment where they can exhibit. Kate: With live music being such a foundation of Freo life we all wanted to bring visual art out of the shadows and make it the star of the event. Our plan is unknown as we are a mere representation of other’s passions and dreams. We will however keep holding space for those who want it. WHATEVEREST showcased quite an eclectic array of local talent, art and music alike - was that a conscious decision on the collective’s part, or what it gradually evolved into? Kate: WHATEVEREST invited fifteen local artists to celebrate their biggest fear without any regret. We showed an array of talents, ranging from the good to the terrible, but that is not important. What matters is the attempt to cross the void. Everything there was validated purely by the fact that it survived that journey from the imagined to real life, making it past time constraints, lack of talent, money, application or desire to exist here, for your viewing pleasure. Ranging from photography, to aerosol and watercolour, to floral installation, we are all very different people with a shared vision and extended connections throughout the Fremantle shared economy. Can we expect other rad events like WHATEVEREST in the near future? Zac: We’re aiming to have seasonal events, so four a year. They will likely grow in size but remain just as diverse as WHATEVEREST. We’ve starting looking at venues and talking to artists for the spring exhibition, it’s going to be wild. There will always be music at these events but our aim really is to foreground the art. For more info, or if you’re interested in exhibiting, email Ellen: ellenbroadhurst@hotmail.com
UWA FACT Did you know that TIM MINCHIN went to UWA?!?!?
ARTS
Arts Reviews BLITHE SPIRIT (THEATRE) Black Swan Theatre Company Review by Holly Munt Over the past year I’ve been cultivating a real love for the screwball comedies of the 30s and 40s. In films like Trouble in Paradise and Bringing Up Baby, sparring couples engage in fast-paced, verbal sparring, often as a stand-in for sexual tension. Noël Coward’s wonderful Blithe Spirit, produced with aplomb by Black Swan, showcases his classic witticisms and the best characteristics of his work. Charles Condomine (Adam Booth) and his wife Ruth (Adriane Daff) host a dinner party with local psychic Madame Acarti (Alison Van Reeken) with the ulterior motive of researching tricksters for his next novel. The pretence of belief in Madame Acarti’s abilities becomes all too real as the ghost of Charles’ ex-wife Elvira (Jo Morris) is unwittingly brought back from the dead, keen on both overstaying her welcome, and secretly on killing Charles and keeping him forever. After a slow start, Elvira’s arrival is when things pick up, thanks to the dynamic of this astral ménage à trois. Chemistry is of course paramount with this kind of quick delivery romantic comedy and Booth and Daff had it aplenty. Morris’ mousey intonation delivered a welcome comedic sensibility to her character’s childish insolence. Before the curtain was raised director Jeffrey Fowler informed the audience that Roz Hammond originally cast as Acardi had
been suddenly struck ill and that despite only having a read through and one rehearsal under her belt, Van Reeken had leapt to the task of keeping the show going. Script in hand, she performed better than anyone could be expected to given the circumstances and will only develop further in the role throughout the show’s run. If anything, the exaggerated way in which anxious maid Edith leaves the room, a stage direction that like Elvira overstays its welcome, could bear being toned down. Special mention too goes to designer Bryan Woltjen who does a fantastic job with the sumptuously decorated set and gorgeous costumes.
DIRTY DANCING (THEATRE) Review by Emily Purvis Emile Ardolino’s Dirty Dancing is one of my favourite movies of all time. It’s a masterpiece of 80s ballads and Patrick Swayze that has, for me, set the bar for all other romantic dramas that have come after it. So when I heard they were doing a stage production, I was expecting a disaster. A calamity of monumental proportions. A play that sought to not only emulate the narrative from which it is based, but transcend it- and fail.
was that though Dirty Dancing was so high-energy, the production did seem a little rushed, and this did detract somewhat from the heady, summer-time ambience for which Dirty Dancing is known. However, the highly talented cast and dynamic set design made the productions’ many scene transitions very fluid, and though at the end I felt a little like I had whiplash, I also left a little breathless, which is never a bad thing.
I’m happy to say, I was pleasantly surprised. Dirty Dancing was so, so much better than I expected. It was fun, it was sexy and, best of all, it didn’t try too hard to be so seriously the story that, in my eyes, it could never live up to. Fantastically energetic, the phenomenal choreography performed by the entire dance-cast transformed the stage into one huge, twirling, grinding, thrusting ensemble that was just incredible to watch. A minor shortcoming
Steamy, dreamy, and full of action, Dirty Dancing was everything I wanted and so, so much more. From corny love-ballads, to cheesy special stage effects, this play was everything it needed to be. Special mention goes to Maddie Peat (Penny Johnson), who tore up the stage with such sensual prowess I’m surprise her co-stars could concentrate- I certainly couldn’t.
UWA FACT Did you know that SHAUN TAN went to UWA!??!!?!?!?!?!?!
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W OT Z ? GOOD
P E L I C A N R AT E S
Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp Parody films are hard to do well, and often fall completely flat. Even well done parody films are rarely a commercial success, as was the case with WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER (2001). The only reason films like these succeed is if they make that tricky transition over into cult film territory, which was helped in this case by the completely stacked cast (seriously it’s ridic) and absurdist humour. WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER is one of my favourite parody films (along with Black Dynamite), so imagine my sheer surprise and utter joy when I learned that Netflix (blessed be) had signed almost the entire original cast on for a prequel series. Once again written by David Wain and Michael Showalter, WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER: First Day at Camp (2015) premiered on July 31st, with the entire eight episodes released simultaneously on Netflix. All eight episodes tell the extremely convoluted and absurd story of the first day of camp at Camp Firewood. Wain and Showalter managed to wrangle almost the entire original cast back together for the series, with Amy Poehler, Bradley Cooper, Paul Rudd, Elizabeth Banks, Janeane Garofalo, Christopher Meloni, Molly Shannon, David Hyde Pierce, Marguerite Moreau, Ken Marino, Joe Lo Truglio and H. Jon Benjamin returning. They are joined by a stellar list of guest stars, with Jon Hamm, Jason Schwartzman, Chris Pine, Lake Bell, Kristen Wiig, Michael Cera among it. From the very beginning of the first episode, the show is absurd. Sixteen year old camp counsellors (two months younger than they originally portrayed) are all played by ~40 year old actors and actresses, which results in a couple of great age-related jokes. The plot (barely) revolves around the main characters from the movie, and manages to introduce terrifyingly in-depth background stories for most of the characters, including my favourites - the talking can of vegetables and Vietnam Veteran Gene. Expect plenty of era relevant in-jokes (it is set in the 80’s after all) and subtle references to other films and media from that era. Overall I thought it was fucking hilarious, and possibly one of my favourite TV series of all time. There are layers upon layers of jokes in almost every scene, and Jon Hamm should probably only do comedy from now on. Wain and Showalter have achieved something with WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER: First Day at Camp that I didn’t even know was possible – they made a prequel series to a parody that may actually surpass the film itself.
Bojack Horseman Season 2 Bojack Horseman is a really good show, and like most series on Netflix, is pretty fun to just binge-watch. Bojack’s misadventures make for really solid comedy and the show is filled with heaps of background jokes, characters and one-liners that make it worth a rewatch. The second season is a strong continuation of the first, with Bojack’s story picking up pretty much right where season one left off. This season tended to follow its story arc tighter than the first season, but still found time for little deviations here and there which opened up opportunities for some strong side-plots and more development of characters that previously didn’t get much time. Season two follows Bojack as he stars in a movie about his childhood sports hero, ‘Secretariat.’ He’s also found relevance again following the success of his new biography, so things look brighter than they did at the end of the first season. He finds a new romance in Wanda, a TV exec just woken up out of a thirty-year long coma, and participates in a J.D. Salinger-created game show against Daniel Radcliffe for charity. Bojack’s housemate Todd continues to get caught in adventure after adventure – one episode in particular has him rescuing a roided-up farm chicken from the chopping block. Alongside the comedy, the show spends a lot of time exploring the emotions and motivations of its characters, and it’s easy to relate to them despite the general absurdity of the plots and characters’ tendencies to be self-destructive. Towards the season’s end the main characters are sent off into their own depressive tailspins, most of them escaping their responsibilities for extended periods of time. Todd deals with a sense of purposelessness by getting wrapped up in a cult. Bojack disappears from LA for two months to grapple with his complete lack of self-esteem. Diane, terrified by the idea that she might have stopped growing as a person, spends a lot of time in a sort of stasis – hanging around Bojack’s house, drinking and sleeping. It’s hard not to root for all of them as they try their best to be happy. The various threads get resolved at the end of the season and although it’s uplifting, some of the resolutions felt rushed. Horsin’ Around/5 Skevos Karpathakis
4.5/5 Sam Montgomery
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UWA FACT Engineering students who can’t get vac work are welcome to intern at the Pelican office UWA FACT A number of prominent Australian breakfast radio personalities matriculated from the UWA Law School
LIFE ST YLE
Nashville Season 1 This isn’t a Netflix exclusive show, but it is one I discovered while aimlessly scrolling through the Netflix menu, waiting for something to jump out at me, trying to distract myself from any number of late night fears. I’m not sure what drew me to Nashville, but I’m grateful - this is fantastic television, engulfing and engaging enough to provide hours of mind numbing binge watching brain annihilation. Definitely viewing that cheerfully puts the existential dread on hold. At the heart of Nashville’s first season lies the rivalry (but eventual, cautious friendship) between a younger and older female country music star. Friday Night Lights leading lady Connie Britton plays the ageing icon, and Hayden Panetierre the feisty up-and-coming Taylor Swift-Miley Cyrus hybrid. On the sidelines are plenty of muscular men wearing cowboy hats, and an assortment of bright young guitar players and singers who have moved to the music city to seek fame and fortune. The only thing missing from Nashville’s talented cast of characters is racial diversity, a misstep made all the more unforgivable by the show’s Southern setting. Nashville immediately handicaps itself by giving the impression of being niche. Everything - from its geographic title, to its country music premise, to the fact that most of its central characters are women, at first works against it. Give the pilot episode a chance, though, and you’ll be hooked in by the ten minute mark. The myriad carefully contorted plots are Shakespearian and universal, melodramatic but fresh. The Southern accents are only mildly annoying, the twangy music is actually pretty catchy, and it turns out that Hayden Panetierre is a far better actress than Heroes ever allowed her to be. 5/5 Kat Gillespie
Grace & Frankie Season 1 Over this winter break just past, in times of trouble (when my mood was low and Pelican a week over deadline), I turned to Grace and Frankie. An earnest and funny show about the complexity of family, set on the gorgeous California coastline. With two fabulous Women of A Certain Age cast in the lead roles, what’s not to love? A lot, apparently. My persistence with Grace and Frankie came much to chagrin of my friends and family, who balked at the very sight of Grace Hanson, the waspy retired cosmetics entrepreneur played by Jane Fonda, and Frankie Bergstein, hippie dippie art teacher to excons played by Lily Tomlin, on screen. Clichéd, boring, shit, they said. And really, they’re probably right. The show begins when Grace and Frankie, odd couple and obvious rivals, are sat down by their divorce lawyer husbands and told in no uncertain terms that they’re leaving them – for each other. As the show goes on, we follow Grace and Frankie, both in their sixties, and their grown-up children try to define and navigate their new familial relationships. It’s very much a sitcom, and the humour is suitably middle of the road. But the way Grace and Frankie plays out navigations of intimacy feels very authentic – the two women co-habiting and learning to lean on each other, the career-driven daughter making bad romantic decisions. Most crucially, watching the ex-husbands and ex-wives learn to live both with and without each other is tender and beautiful television. Yes, the huge Martha-Stewart-esque homes with gorgeous beach vistas are distinctly inauthentic. But surely that’s the point. This is Netflix. If I’ve tuned in, I’ve already let go of the material world. I’ve shut the curtains, and I’m not in Perth anymore. I’m hanging out with my fabulous divorcée friends, Grace and Frankie, and their company is every bit as warm as an episode of Friends, or a mug of hot tea. Embrace it. 4/5 Lucy Ballantyne
UWA FACT You can major in mindfulness
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RETRO PELI In August 2000, Pelican was reviewing Sexpo, buying drugs, watching X-Men, and discovering John Butler Trio. Sometimes the past is best left alone.
FEATURE
PELICAN’S BEAUTIFUL DARK TWISTED FANTASY For our penultimate issue of 2015, Pelican wants to publish your deepest, most fervently held desires. The impossible, the improbable. What you go to bed thinking about, what you close your eyes in tutorials and wish for. It’s the FANTASY issue, and it’s time to get candid. Go on. Pelican wants to hear about what you like. Come along to our meetings at 6pm on Wednesday August 26th and Monday August 31st in the Guild Council Meeting Room for a dreamy time. New contributors are welcome! To otherwise get involved in the issue, you can get in touch with us at pelican@ guild.uwa.edu.au, like us on Facebook, follow us on Instagram, Twitter, or come visit us in the office (we are above the Ref).
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Stand out with a UWA postgraduate degree.
UWA Postgrad & Honours Expo 2015 Wednesday 23 September, 4-7pm The Bayliss Building Choosing to undertake a higher degree is an investment that comes with lifelong rewards. Join us at the 2015 UWA Postgrad & Honours Expo, where you will get the chance to speak with staff and current postgraduate students about the benets of postgraduate study, admission requirements, scholarships and student exchange opportunities. You can also attend a range of information sessions where you will gain an overview of the many postgraduate coursework and research options available to you.
BRAND UWAM0486
To nd out more and to register your interest, visit uwa.edu.au/postgradexpo