Pelican 2018 Edition 6

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BOOLADARLUNG

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VOLUME 89

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EDITION 6

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OCT 2018

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EST.1929

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editorial And then there was one.

To inspire me, I looked at some of the final editorials from editors of the past and there was one through line across the years. They wanted to keep going at it. That the year as Editor comes to a close all too soon. The BARE truth is that you come in totally blind and to survive you just have to stick by your vision – through thick and thin.

presitorial

This edition fits that mantra to the letter.

Cover to cover is unapologetic material from contributors and editors alike providing frank and BARE opinions. So put your feet up, ignore the eight weeks of lectures you still haven’t watched and give this a read.

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I want to thank our amazing team of subeditors and contributors for a banging final issue and for all the work put in at every stage across the year. One person in particular to thank has to be Katie – it’s been a time, hasn’t it.

Now that the sentimental mush is out of the way I must transition into my final form. The secret is that Editor’s in Chief commit to a faustian pact with the Pelican Gods.

And so, with that I say SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWKY SQUAWK SQUAWK, SQUAWK SQUAWKITY SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWKY SQUAWK SQUAWK. SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWK, SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWKY SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWKITY SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWK, SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWK.

Josh

Dear loyal readers, I know you will be deeply saddened to hear that I will no longer be starting your reading journey with my political musings and overt promotion of the Guild. Never fear, this quality content will grace these pages again under the leadership of Conrad Hogg, this year’s Education Council President, who has been elected at the 106th Guild President.

It’s been a wild ride. Whilst unlike Josh, I have never had a nebulous Facebook poll be made about whether an actual pelican could do my job better (at least certainly not to my face) - I have certainly had some rough patches. From the infamous $2 middy debate (fyi would surely bankrupt the Guild) to what felt like every controversial speaker the uni could find - it’s certainly been a presidency made up of press releases, monthly breakdowns and excessive amounts of caffeine.

On the bright side, I wouldn’t change a single thing - not even the nudie pic that accompanies this prezitorial (sorry mum). It has been an honour and one of the most rewarding experiences to serve as your President, bring you positive changes on campus, new menus, better coffee, more events, more departments and more good stuff. Did I mention I secured downloadable lectures? #legacy.

My sincerest thanks go to my office bearers, the peli team and you of course, the readers - for putting up with me this year.

See ya never ya mugs, Megsy

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contents Pelican | Vol. 89 Ed 6 | Sept 2018 BARE

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COMEDY

FEATURES

08 – REAL CAMPUS NEWS

14 – WHO’S A GOOD BOY? – WHY WE NEED TO

Hugh Hutchison 10 – THE PELLIES 2018 Hugh Hutchison

FASHION 38 – A MALE MODEL STRIPPED BARE

Susie Charkey 41 – TIL DEATH DO US PART

Frances Harvey 50 - BEFORE HE SPEAK HIS SUIT BESPOKE

Maja Maric

STOP PRAISING MEN FOR DOING THE BARE MINIMUM

Eloise Skoss 16 – ROB TILLER AND THE IMPOSSIBLE BUSINESS OF KEEPING WOMEN HAPPY

Patrick Roso 22 – THE ALL-TIME DEFINITIVE BEAR LIST

Natasha Tonga 33 – PELLY N00DS 39 – BARE BONES REPRESENTATION

Laura Bullock 54 – IT’S TIME TO TALK ABOUT THE TERF PROBLEM IN PRIDE

Ishita Mathur 64 – RECIPES FOR BARE

BOOLADARLUNG - Pelican The Pelican team acknowledges that the UWA campus is located on the lands of the Whadjuk and Minang people of the Noongar Nation, who are the original storytellers and spiritual and cultural custodians of their land. This was stolen and never ceded. We’d like to especially thank Len Collard from the School of Indigenous Studies for sharing the Noongar word for Pelican with us, booladarlung, which will appear on the cover of all issues of Pelican this year.

PELICAN EDITORS

JOSHUA CAHILL PELICAN@GUILD.UWA.EDU.AU

COMEDY EDITOR

HUGH HUTCHISON

DIVERSITY EDITOR

ISHITA MATHUR

FASHION EDITORS

SUSANNAH CHARKEY & FRANCES HARVEY

FILM EDITORS

FINNIAN WILLIAMSON & CINDY SHI

FINANCE EDITORS

RACHEL HOLLICK & LANEY SHIRLEY

LIFESTYLE EDITOR

BRIDGET RUMBALL

LITERATURE EDITORS

VANESSA KARAS & ASHA COUCH

MUSIC EDITORS

SOPHIE MINISSALE & JORDAN MURRAY

POLITICS EDITOR

CORMAC POWER

SCIENCE EDITORS

CAITLIN OWYONG & MADDISON HOWARD

SPORTS EDITORS

MATTHEW MALTMAN

VISUAL ARTS EDITORS

GRACE HUFFER & KARL SAGRABB

FILM

POLITICS

SPORT

12 – TOP 5 BARELY USEFUL TOP 10 WATCH

27 – THE BEAR NECESSITIES – THE STORY

24 – A BRIEF HISTORY OF BEARS IN

MOJO LISTS

OF ZHELEZNOGORSK, RUSSIA

SPORT

Finnian Williamson

Cormac Power

Matthew Maltman

28 – BEAR WITH ME

32 – NORTH KOREA ISN’T A COMMUNIST

Kevin Nguyen

COUNTRY - THE HERMIT KINGDOM

42 - HOW SKINS MADE ADOLESCENCE

LAID BARE

Cormac Power

BEARABLE

Is Boogaerdt

SCIENCE LITERATURE 60 – AFTER ARCHY AND MEHITABEL BY DON MARQUIS

Aimee Dodds 62 – BARE POETRY

Connor Brown

45 – MY HEALTH RECORD: BARED TO THE WORLD? Jordan Soresi 57 – MERCHANTS OF DEATH ARE NOT CAPTAINS OF SCIENCE: LIFTING THE

VISUAL ARTS 46 – THE NAKED TRUTH (THE NAKED AND THE NUDE) Jaimi Wright 48 – IN DEFENCE OF ART (YOU THINK) YOU HATE Stirling Kain 52 - COOL CHANGE – THE SMALL BUT MIGHTY DELIGHT Rose Barton

VEIL OF DISGUISE Tony Li

MUSIC 18 – MAN’S GOT BARE LYRICS

Sam Worley 30 – KANYE AND THE BEAR

Sophie Minissale

The University of Western Australia acknowledges that its campus is situated on Noongar land, and the Noongar people remain the spiritual and cultural custodians of their land, and continue to practice their values, language, beliefs and knowledge. The views expressed within are not the opinions of the UWA Student Guild or Pelican Editorial Staff, but of the individual writers and artists.

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Josh Cahill

Josh wonders if bears would make great restaurant critics on cooked salmon

Megan Lee

“Oh fuck sorry I’ll write it now.”

Hugh Hutchison

Hugh has refused outright the prospect of other, funnier people writing comedy for Pelican.

Finnian Williamson

Finnian is relying as Film Editor for Pelican as his one resume filler this year

Eloise Skoss

Eloise once danced with Jacqui Lambie to Taylor Swift.

Patrick Roso

Patrick once had to apologise to a tribal elder after accidentally shooting his favourite goat

Sam Worley

If car guys are the male equivalent of horse girls, it's lucky Sam is also interested in music and fashion

Natasha Tonga

Natasha thinks criticising widely adored bears is a good way to make friends

Matthew Maltman

Matthew still hopes the LNP will bring in Jeb Bush to shore up the leadership crisis

Cormac Power

Cormac spent $16 on WWI General August von Mackensen socks, the thesis is going great thanks for asking.

Kevin Nguyen

Kevin is the unfortunate combination of comedy nerd and art student

Sophie Minissale

Sophie is studying Media hoping to become Louis Theroux

Susie Charkey

Susie may be mildly politically illiterate but can tell you all about YSL’s le smoking tuxedo.

Frances Harvey

Frances: a grandma at heart, in the body of a millennial.

Is Boogaerdt

Is loves the Skins theme song and still finds it amusing that it was composed by Fat Segal

Laura Bullock

Laura is pLeased to tell you that they infiltrated yet another party to talk about astrology

contributors 6

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Stirling Kain

Stirling isn't even here right now, she's in Cheyanne, Wyoming.

Jordan Soresi

Jordan enjoys attempting to unsuccessfully solve Agatha Christie mysteries before the end of the novel

Jaimi Wright

Jaimi is an Art History major who is slightly too fond of tea

Stirling Kain

Stirling still isn't even here right now, she's in Cheyanne, Wyoming

Maja Maric

Maja says Queen Grimhilde was right.

Rose Barton

Rose mostly eats grapes and watches grand designs

Ishita Mathur

Ishita is currently concerned about you seeing her nudes, but she also thinks she looks pretty cute, if she may say so herself.

Tony Li

Tony believes humanity shouldn’t take its survival for granted—it has to work harder for that

Aimee Dodds

Aimee currently does not have a bellybutton, and when asked to provide evidence of this fact she will politely decline to do so.

Connor Brown

Connor is an honours student who's thesis is slowly but surely consuming his life

Danielle Browne

Only sent a couple of passive agressive emails to get this magazine produced.

Chelsea Hayes

Print advertising is dead.

Lyn Sillitto

Started Volume 89. Designed editions 1-3.

Xander Sinclair

Is still waiting for someone to bring him cake.

How mint are these people? You’re mint too! You should write for Pelican.

If you’ve got a really specific idea for a piece, check out the contents page for the contacts of our groovy subeditors. If you just want to find out a bit more, or aren’t too sure where your piece would fit, floss Josh an email at pelican@guild.uwa.edu.au. You should also definitely like Pelican on Facebook, follow us on Instagram and Twitter and pop up to the office above the Ref for a cuppa at some point.

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White South African Talkback Callers and Claremont Mums Confirmed as the Only Demographics Happy With West Coast’s Grand Final Win “Now lisen, now lisen. Eet was a real tragedy what happened ta Andrew Gaff, missing aot on his medal an all. Now I ave seen some real injustice in my time - I was still in Joburg in 1994 - but I think this is the ferst time ah can say that an institution has been on the wrong side of hestory. The Match Review Panel should be ashaeemed.

Anyway ail hang up and lisen to your answer.”

“My Lizzie used to go out with that nice Barrass boy. Maybe if she’d put out more in high school she’d be the side-piece to a Premiership player by now.”

Inspiring: Tight Guild President Race Reveals Depth of Misunderstanding About How Preferential Voting Works

real campus news The Season Finale Hugh Hutchison

Disclaimer: Obviously this is not real or news, it is campus comedy. You’re welcome.

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“How come this ‘Left Action’ person got to vote so many times?” Complained one concerned LAUNCH supporter on the UWA Guild Facebook page.

“Why can’t we just collectivise the commie votes into one?” said another.

Unsuccessful First Year OGC Candidate Promises Never to Run Again “It was good experience, I got my face out there and made some friends. But I just think it’s not for me.”

Unsuccessful Second Year OGC Candidate Promises Never to Run Again, Again “Why do I only seem to have friends on Guild between July and September?”

Unsuccessful Third Year OGC Candidate Plans Whole Future Around Unsuccessful Bids for Guild “Next year I can run while I write my thesis, and then if I get admitted into Masters, that’ll give me two more years to erode what little self confidence I have left. How long is a doctorate?”

Friends With ADHD: The Hot New Fashion Accessory for Semester Two Exams “This little number on my arm is called Andrew; his doctor prescribed him with an unusually high dosage so we’re basically inseparable. Isn’t he cute?”

Allegations of Vote Rigging Undermine Celebrated Actor Paul Giamatti’s Triumphant Appointment to Guild Council “These aren’t allegations, we literally just rigged the vote.” said Pelican Editor in Chief Josh Cahill.

“We warned the scrutineers outright that if they didn’t hand Paul the seat, they’d never be treated to another endearing performance by an Italian American Hollywood everyman.” Giamatti is yet to respond to the accusations, or to acknowledge his electoral success in any way.

Scandal: 60% of Guild Candidates Haven’t Seen the Entire Five-Season Run of The Wire In an embarrassing discovery late into this year’s election cycle, Pelican investigators uncovered that over half of all candidates for guild positions hadn’t seen HBO’s highly acclaimed drama The Wire. In an interview with one OGC candidate, where our reporters asked if he empathised more with the African American inhabitants of West Baltimore or with the understaffed police force trying to clean up the streets while being part of an inherently corrupt institution, the candidate responded meekly that “He’d been meaning to watch it” and had quote “Seen a few episodes.” Further investigation found that this apathy towards prestige TV existed at all levels of Guild, across the three major parties. One

senior STAR official was even brazen enough to go on record as saying that “She just didn’t have the time.” Disgusting.

This comes after last year’s shocking revelation that none of 2017’s Presidential Candidates had seen Deadwood, which was hushed up after threatening spoilers from the Boardwalk Empire series finale were sent to the Pelican offices.

“Time to Catch Up On Lectures:” Declares Every UWA Student, At Once “Jeeze, exams are close! Better get my act together and watch 100 hours of back-to-back educational content” said the entire twenty thousand plus student body, in perfect, terrifying, synchronicity.

Literal Punching Bag Appointed as New Pelican Editor “We think this is a positive direction for the paper.

No-one really likes us anyway, so I don’t think people are going to notice the difference in editorial standards,” said outgoing editor Josh Cahill. Josh was later seen limping out of the Pelican office, heavily bruised, as scores of guild hacks set on him with batons and accusations of bias.

Not Really a Headline, But Remember that Time Ted Cruz Favourited Incest Porn on Twitter on the Anniversary of 9/11?

Presented without comment.

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The Pellies 2018

Pelican Magazine’s Official Awards’ Night For Things What Happened this Year or any Year Really Category One: Outstanding Innovation in Teaching

Category Three: Biggest Crime Spree Carried Out

By A Sitting Guild President

The Candidates:

The Candidates:

1. Most Humanities Coordinators: for planning their sabbaticals in such a way as that they can cram twenty lectures worth of unit content into one hasty email apology

1. Bob Hawk (1952): Training attack sparrows to patrol campus and maim unsuspecting young Liberals

2. That One Marketing Tutor I Had Like Two Years Ago: for spending nearly a full thirty minutes plugging her personal Twitter account in the first tute 3. A Business Law Lecturer Who Will Go Unnamed: for persevering in his true calling – making Asian students uncomfortable with benign racism 4. Robin Williams in Dead Poet Society: for getting boarding students at a private boys school to focus on something other than mutual masturbation

Category Two: Most Likely to be 2019 Guild President The Candidates: 1. Conrad Hogg: 2019 Guild President/ 2019 Star Presidential Candidate 2. Kate Fletcher: 2019 Launch Presidential Candidate 3. Jade Mawby: 2019 Left Action Candidate 4. Big Rig “Fuck Machine” Rodgers: Semiprofessional wrestler who has challenged the winner of the election to a 1 on 1 trial by combat in the ring for the position of Guild President

Disclaimer: Obviously this is not real or news, it is campus comedy. You’re welcome.

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2. Megan Lee (2018): Stealing hundreds of ears of corn, and then upon being questioned about the missing crop, insisting that the corn was necessary for “responsible student governance” 3. John Winthrop Hackett (1913): Commandeering an entire street from the local council and claiming it in his name 4. GB Hill (1941): Lying about his identity to police on multiple occasions, insisting that his initials stood for “Good Body Hill”

Category Four: Most Significant Depression Meal of 2018 The Candidates: 1. 11/05/2018: Two off-brand tins of tuna, mixed, eaten by hand 2. 04/03/2018: Uncooked chickpeas eaten off the kitchen counter with a set of child’s practice cutlery 3. 19/07/2018: A beer that I tipped on the carpet and subsequently spent fifteen minutes considering whether I could suck enough of it out to get a buzz on 4. 10/02/2018: String cheese dropped onto a frying pan by accident and served with jam on a single slice of multigrain crust with no plate

Category Five: Biggest Waste of Guild Expenditure

Category seven Most Likely Star Campaign Policy of 2019

The Candidates:

The Candidates

1. Increasing the SSAF by 1000% to provide every student with a seeing-eye-dog regardless of the status of their eyesight

1. The Experience Clause: No party that has not been in office for the last decade is allowed to contest the election

2. A Series of Costly and Deadly Wars with Curtin over unimportant maritime borders

2. Zeppelins: Cross-campus zeppelins. The future of air travel: now!

3. Spending Millions of Dollars Buying the License to Shrek: Super Slam (2005) for the PlayStation 2 for the purpose of future guild event theming

3. Bi-Partisanship: Disaffected Star candidates will continue to make up a majority of Launch members

4. Gutting the Refectory to Make Way for the Official Guild Harem (available to office bearers only, theme: country and western)

4. Laurel Resting: I literally do not know any other Star policies

Category Six Most Likely Launch Campaign Policy of 2019 The Candidates 1. Ditch the SSAF: For everyone except the children of blue collar families 2. 10$ Jugs: For anyone who can evade RSA requirements 3. End Pelican Funding: Pelican will no longer be available in print. Instead it will be easily accessible from the Internet server of a particular Nepalese primary school.

4. 10$ Jugs: Again, but this time in italics

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Top 5 Barely Useful Top 10 Watch Mojo Lists Watch Mojo. It’s the backbone of YouTube. Pumping out five videos a day for the last eleven years, along with hosting six other sister channels, it’s almost impossible not to have stumbled across one of their countdown lists during a procrastination session.

Statistically speaking, there’s probably the slightest chance that if they’re producing that much content, there’s going to be a couple of iffy lists along the way. Just a couple. I took it upon myself to brave the film playlists of Watch Mojo’s channels and here’s what I discovered to be the Top 5 Barely Useful Top 10 Watch Mojo lists. Forgive me.

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Top 10 Unrealistic Sex Scenes

Top 10 Get Captured on Purpose Plans

Let’s start off with the most clickbaity of the lot, and the one that’s been in my ‘Watch Later’ for far too long. Unfortunately, the only contender that’s checking out is Number 3. Shame. Number 3 is given to the ‘Gymnastic Sex Scene’ from the film The Bronze a sports comedy film that went completely under the radar when in released in 2015 but has made its way back into the internet’s heart thanks to this list. Two gymnasts throwing each other around like ragdolls, it’s a visual gag that’s genuinely funny and a little bit inspirational. How it lost the number one spot to Josh Statham’s public sex scene in Crank, I’ll never know.

Top Comment:

The most specific plot-centred list Watch Mojo has put out, this list is obviously a waste of time for the viewer (and probably the creator) but it does ponders the question of who would ever search out a compilation like this? I understand people might want to search particular titles like Funniest Sex Scenes or More Funniest Sex Scenes (Part 2), but with this I’ve got no idea. Maybe people trying to pull off a heist or people who have got themselves in the trap of writing a list about the top Watch Mojo lists? I just wish I could’ve have been in the drawing room when they were throwing around ideas and they decided this was the strongest one they had.

And whoever edited this one together, I feel for you buddy.

Pistol Shrimp: “Now please do a realistic one”

Top Comment: Melvin “Big Smoke” Harris: “What’s next? Top 10 Sweaty Armpits in Wrestling?”

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Top 10 Movies with a 0 Percent Rating on Rotten Tomatoes That You Should See Anyway I actually have to give thanks to this list. I remember watching an earlier version of this compilation in my media class days at school and discovering the 1988 family sci-fi flick Mac and Me through it’s Number One placing. A complete rip-off of E.T (which came out six years earlier), the film has found a cult following due to its absurdity in every department and Paul Rudd showing a scene from the film every time he appears on the chat show Conan. It’s insanely bad – the product placement is taken to a next level, with an entire set piece taking place at McDonalds, and visual effects are so poor compared to E.T it’s just a bit sad. But watching clips of Mac and Me kept me going through my ATAR exam’s, so I’ve got to give an honourable mention to Watch Mojo for that.

Top Comment: HI 5: “WHO CARE ABOUT rotten tomatoes it just nerd ass” Top 10 Misleading Movie Titles of Popular Films Also known as Watch Mojo’s Straight Up Stupidest Film list. To quote, “Maybe we’re at fault for thinking that every movie title with an animal in it is a family friendly comedy. But Reservoir Dogs makes us think of a bunch of street-wise dogs that live in a abandoned reservoir, venturing into the city to stir up trouble and steal meat from the surly butcher”.

Need I say more.

Top Comment: Hachiro B: “... Free Willy isn’t misleading. Potentially misconstrued by dirty minds, sure. But the movie is about freeing willy. It’s the whole plot in the title.

That’s anything but misleading.”

Top 10 Funniest Minions Moments Couldn’t write a countdown film list without including the Most Annoying Supporting Character(s) of the last decade. Less entertaining is the list itself but the YouTube comments. I don’t think I realised how many people (of the age where they should know better) that genuinely love minions. The comment section is the most wholesome place I’ve visited in a good while. From “Minons Rule!”, “I absolutely adore Minons”, “I love minon this aesome”, “BANANA!!!” too “I was watching the movie when I got the notification lol”, the unwavering support for the most annoying animated character/product/virus is impressive. For the first time, there were more people praising Watch Mojo for their list than bashing them. It’s a win-win.

Top Comment: Chibi Prussia: “I love the minions :D But my aunt hates them, so when my mom saw a minion marshmallow treat, she sent it to her for Christmas LOL” Honourable Mention: honourable mention Top 10 Freaky Facts About Dolphin Sex Ok, it’s not a film list, but let’s take a moment for that title to sink in. Not only did this idea get chosen, someone went to the effort of editing video of this together, uploading it and hitting half a million views. And the choice of words in the title. Freaky?

Dolphin sex is enough, but the fact Watch Mojo sounds like they’re kinda into it? It’s a time for all of us to pause and reflect. Still, Number 3 should’ve been Number 1. Robbed.

Top Comment: Joseph Anthony: “Never clicked on a video so fast”

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Who’s A Good Boy? Why We Need to Stop Praising Men for Doing the Bare Minimum Eloise Skoss

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When did the bare minimum become the gold standard? You don’t have to look very far to see some common examples – just take a look at the way the media applauds male celebrities who are handson dads. If you look at Hamish Blake’s Instagram, it is filled with pictures and videos of him playing with his two kids, Sonny and Rudy, accompanied by a myriad of comments from cooing women saying, “he’s such a good Dad” and “Zoe [his wife] is so lucky.” Take a glance at Zoe’s feed, and the comments are far more likely to be in the realm of, “where did you get your dress?” and “I liked your hair better when it was straight.” It takes little more than a nappy change or a shoulder ride for men to qualify as good dads, and it takes nothing more than a prepackaged packed lunch or an iPad in the hands of a sulky toddler at a restaurant for women to be judged as bad mothers. This double standard is even further exacerbated with mothers who face additional marginalisation in society, due to their racial or cultural background, or those who experience mental or physical disability. This is seen in the way a stigma has developed in Australian society against the capabilities of Indigenous mothers, with paternalistic social policies continuing to undermine the parenting abilities of these women, with a level of scrutiny that is certainly not faced by the average Australian dad.

Some say that praising men for doing the right thing is important, as it helps them understand what’s expected of them and encourages guys to “keep it up [champ].” While this viewpoint does have merit – positive reinforcement is an effective way to incentivise a desired behaviour – but I think it’s a little patronising to paint men as ignorant children who need a rewards system in order to behave well.

Putting a guy on a pedestal for showing some vague interest in gender equality or simply not being sexist is like giving praise to a cat that’s taken a shit in the litter tray as opposed to the shag carpet.

An important conversation we are having a lot more often now is one about consent. It seems a little obvious to me – don’t do things to people if they haven’t said they want to do it, and stop doing things when people ask. Insert the whole tea analogy here. The key factor to remember here is that consent is ALWAYS necessary, in every circumstance, and forms the absolute minimum standard for sexual relationships. A guy that makes sure you’re enthusiastically on board with the whole horizontal line-dance fandango before and during the affair does not deserve any song and dance for behaving

the way we expect decent guys to behave. Not being a rapist is hardly grounds for a nomination into the Good Boys Hall of Fame, but we continually shower men with praise simply because we have met a guy who was worse. Today, women across America would be stoked to have a Supreme Court judge appointed that isn’t a serial sex pest, a bar so low that not even the flexible ballet girl at the middle school disco could limbo underneath it. But even this seems too much to ask in an era where the leader of the free world openly boasts about grabbing women “by the pussy.”

By elevating the value of what is the baseline level of acceptable to a laudable status, we run the risk of lifting the ranks of those behaviours that fall beneath it, skewing perceptions of what is okay and acceptable.

To those who may have reached this far and are suppressing a rising feeling of discomfort with these words, I implore you, do not misunderstand my sentiment as one of ingratitude. I have much to thank men for; I am thankful to have male friends with progressive ideas about gender roles; I am grateful to have been able to enjoy dates without feeling uncomfortable or unsafe. I am thankful every day that I have an amazing dad who takes an active interest in my life, and who doesn’t leave the “emotional stuff” for mum to deal with; and I am grateful to every man who takes a public stand on an issue that affects women. My gratitude is the same, however as when I thank the bus driver as I get off at my stop, or how I give a wave to the driver of a car letting me past on a narrow street. These things are all worth being grateful for, but they are nothing remarkable. It’s a father’s job to do the school run in the same way that it’s a bus driver’s job to drop me off when I push the red button. Guys being respectful to the women they meet should be viewed as the baseline level of acceptability, and we need to stop apotheosizing men for behaving with the basic level of decency that should simply be expected. Let’s stop giving awards to “good boys” and start holding those who don’t cut the mustard accountable for their actions.

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Rob Tiller and

the Impossible Business of Keeping Women Happy Relationships 101 for Misogynistic White Blokes In what this reporter can only presume is an attempt to lure all of Perth’s potential school shooters into one location, this is an event that promises to teach research validated “fair fighting skills” to men seeking to learn the “Impossible Business of Keeping Women Happy”. With tickets roughly a hundred bucks a go, it’s sure to be a sell out at the Rendezvous Hotel as people scramble to hear from a counsellor who voluntarily resigned after his anti-feminist emails were leaked to his former employers.

Learn how to initiate and encourage more enthusiastic sex in female-friendly ways from Rob Tiller, a man who’s so good at relationships that he once wound up in court with said former employers.

The mind boggles at Mr Tiller’s ability to pad out a lecture, as this shitshow is an all-day affair that runs from 10:00AM to 4:00PM. This reporter is uniquely qualified to comment here as he regularly bounces from one failed relationship to the next and readily admits to having all the communication skills of Stannis Baratheon, only with

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more hair. Presumably, if one’s at the point of parting with a hundred bucks to have some washed up hack like Rob Tiller “fix” your dating life then it’s fair to hold that you’re in the same boat.

It’s also worth keeping in mind that the event description here has been changed to one that Tiller probably sees as less offensive. Previously, you could find advice on how to “coach” your woman into being “happy and hanging on to your house” and “sexually generous.” For the record, if you want your partner to be caged in your home and open to having sex 24/7 at the drop of a hat, I’d recommend investing in a sex doll instead.

Rob’s particular brand of snake oil is that he tells men struggling with rejection what they want to hear. That it’s her fault, it’s the Family Court system and it has nothing to do with pissing up your pay at the pub each night before coming home to smack the missus around. It’s a move straight out of Business 101; invent the problem then sell the solution.

According to Rob’s personal website, the problem is that 70 percent of all separations and divorces are instigated by the female partner with little to no notice. Where these statistics come from is a mystery.

The solution? Attend Rob’s classes and learn the “tools to cool” disputes with your woman. The tool of the trade appears to be some sort of nonsense called “relationship leverage”. It’s breathtakingly at odds with his claim of teaching “mutual respect” and having all this next to “holding your own with a clever lady” is downright disturbing. Realpolitik is what led Bismarck into laying the groundwork for the First World War and playing these sorts of manipulative power games with your girl will only lead to similarly tragic outcomes.

Rob Tiller shifts the blame onto the partner’s internal factors while failing to address the possessive, entitled and manipulative attitudes that drive the men he provides services for. It’s diabolically dangerous stuff, a Bunnings warehouse for immature malcontents, that absolves the bloke of any blame whatsoever. Manning the fuck up and realising that change starts with YOU is hard but falling into fundamental errors of attribution is easy.

Don’t reward the espousing of dangerously unsubstantiated and actively harmful bullshit by giving your money to Rob Tiller, instead take that hundred dollars and buy yourself a year’s Spotify subscription. Find George Thorogood’s classic “Treat Her Right” and play it on repeat a few times ‘till that classic blues rock message sinks in.

You see, George has the right idea and it’s not a bloody hard one to grasp either. All you need to do

is treat them right. That means gently, with respect and realising that sometimes things just don’t go your way. Now this is a hard one to grasp at first as society basically tells blokes all over the world that they’re promised a perfect ten, preferably one on each arm. Every woman will have stories about young men taking it in a less than gentlemanly manner when society doesn’t deliver on this promise.

Any intro psych or even the otherwise contemptible MGMT1135 Organisational Behaviour unit will tell you that internal factors aren’t entirely everything when it comes to predicting behaviour. Turns out that people are mostly their external environments and that’s what needs to change here. There’s no shortage of awareness campaigns for misogyny and domestic violence; what’s required is some action.

We need to get to the bottom of whatever it is about our structures that enables young men to think it’s a rational choice to degrade women. It’s not enough to merely stamp out the controlling, entitled and manipulative behaviours espoused by folks like Tiller.

We need to drag the men putting them into practice out back for a little bit of attitude re-adjusting, a dose of their own medicine.

This reporter doesn’t claim to have anything other than a crippling addiction to caffeine; however, he has no answers. But he’s savvy enough to know that folks like Rob Tiller don’t either.

Save your money, buy her some flowers.

Treat her right.

Patrick Roso

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Man’s Got Bare Lyrics Sam Worley

The first song that got me into grime was a Stormzy track. I can’t remember whether it was Standard or Scary, because I first heard both in very quick succession of one another. This was in mid-2016, roughly a year before the Man’s Not Hot meme and parody craze swept over social media. While it was a send-up of the genre, it also introduced it to many around the globe who wouldn’t have otherwise known it existed. Another view is that it in fact degraded the image of this type of music by belittling it, but I would tend to disagree. Either way, a lot more people around the world know about grime these days than when it began as an offshoot of garage music in the early 2000s. If you’re interested in getting to know the genre a little deeper than Big Shaq, this is my guide introducing you to the culture and the slang behind it.

I feel like it’s apt that Stormz was the first artist to get me into grime, because I also think that he’s one of the places to start. On YouTube and the more classic forums, something has been discussed called the ‘Stormzy Effect’. The specifics are a bit murky, but it

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basically suggests that he’s someone who is a good entry point into the genre. That, and, ‘When you get 13-year-olds who listen to a couple of Stormzys [sic] songs then they think they are hard as balls and also try to be roadmen’ – according to one Urban Dictionary user. Basically, the youths love him. This is possibly because of Stormz’ accessibility and that he spits on grime production, raps and sings.

One of my favourite parts of discovering this genre was working out the slang that underpins it. Grime was born in London; and as such a lot of the phrasing it uses overlaps with London slang.

However, some words in the grime lexicon originate from Jamaican and West Indian culture, places were a British colonial influence was felt in the past. These words have subsequently emigrated with their users to the UK and developed over time. A lot of working out their meaning comes from listening to them in context, as well as scouring many Genius lyrics annotations.

Much of the lyricism in grime takes its energy from the adversarial ‘one-upmanship’ culture present in rap around the world. However, there are also more positive tracks. Of course, there are various pitfalls in describing slang, as exemplified by articles in the past where middle-aged journalists have attempted to define internet acronyms for parents. As such, all definitions should be taken loosely. Below is a (not exhaustive) list of some of the more unusual slang used in grime and its origins.

Bare: a lot, plenty of.

Example: ‘Why they talking like I never made bare grime?’ – Dizzee Rascal, The Other Side Calm: if something is good, it’s calm – used in a similar manner to ‘it’s all good’. ‘Calm’ can also be used if someone needs to chill out.

Example: ‘Lyrics for lyrics, calm,’ – Skepta, Lyrics Likkle: a pretty direct translation to ‘little’.

Example: ‘All these likkle gyal better simmer down,’ – Lady Leshurr, Black Panther

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Yutes/Youts: youths, young people.

Example: ‘None of these youts got a pen like mine,’ – Stormzy, Scary

to gang culture. Strap has the same meaning, overlapping with its meaning in US rap.

Example: ‘Go on then, pick up your strap,’ – Stormzy, One Take Freestyle

Gassed: to be excited or hyped up about something.

Example: ‘Yeah, I was gassed at the MOBO awards,’ – Stormzy, Shut Up Wah Gwan: What’s going on? The shortening to slang here is quite straightforward.

Example: ‘Pull up outside like, “wah gwan sexy”,’ – Skepta, Shutdown Mandem: your friends or your crew. Equivalent to putting ‘man’ and ‘them’ together. Originating in Caribbean slang. The female equivalent is Gyal Dem. Example: ‘I’m all for dem man dem,’ – Chip, Man Dem Blud: said to anyone – they can be an adversary but usually a friend or member of your crew. One conjecture is that it originated from the Jamaican slang ‘dutty bludclot’ (which in essence is calling someone a used tampon). This was shortened to just ‘blud’ over time, and had its meaning misappropriated into a mark of endearment.

Another suggestion is that it’s simply from ‘blood,’ as in someone close to you; but not necessarily family.

Example: ‘Blud, you’re not on your deen,’ – Skepta, Shutdown (‘Deen’ is a Persian word for religion) Showerman: a hitman or member of a gang.

Example: ‘Shower man down like Fireman Sam’ – Skepta, Corn on the Curb Skengman: someone who carries a gun.

Example: ‘#MERKY, #SKENGMAN; What’s the last one? #PROBLEM,’ – Stormzy, Wicked Skengman Part 4 Wasteman: someone who is useless, as the ‘waste’ part suggests.

Example: ‘I ain’t one of them wasteman tryna flex on Insta,’ – Skepta, Text Me Back Skeng: a gun. This has other variations, but this seems to be the most often used. Like hip hop around the world, grime has plenty of reference

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Wavy/Waved: to be drunk or high. The connotations are fairly obvious here because the word describes the way you’re feeling. Again, this has an overlap with US slang. Burse, on the other hand means more specifically to be drunk.

Example: ‘Man ain’t got it like this, man ain’t wavy like Chip,’ – Chip, Marijuana And there’s plenty more to it, but there’d be no fun in me describing every slang term out there – the real fun is in listening to the tracks yourself. Where to start though? All the lyricists mentioned below go hard; but I’ve divided them into two categories – ones that provide a more accessible entry point into the genre, and ones to listen to once you’ve developed more of a taste for grime.

Where to start: Stormzy, Lady Leshurr, Chip, Dizzee Rascal, Lethal Bizzle Where to go from there: Skepta, Wiley, D Double E, Frisco, JME, Bugzy Malone Hopefully now you can see how this genre is much more than just a singular meme. It has its own culture behind it and has been going strong for well over fifteen years. There are the originators like Wiley and Dizzee Rascal, and now we have new artists bringing on the recent ‘grime renaissance’. It came up from freestyle tapes to the internationallyrecognised genre we have today. Arguably, the biggest part of the fun is that it’s not just enjoyable music to listen to, but almost like learning a new language. Like any rap subgenre, there’s a reliable amount of trash talking. And you can count on a grime track to pump you up and make you feel ten times bigger than you really are; even if you are a Uni-educated, latte-drinking twenty something from the western suburbs and not an actual gangster.

I think that’s one of its great strengths – you can be anyone (living vicariously through the lyrics or otherwise) and have a good time with grime. As the saying goes, don’t knock it ‘til you try it – develop an understanding of the genre and you just might find some of your new favourite tracks.

So, go out, get gassed up and have fun.

Bear Section

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Natasha Tonga

THE All-time Definitive Bear List

10. Lots-O’-Huggin Bear

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Spoiler: this is a very evil bear, despite the innocent pink fluff and strawberry scent. Basically the Stalin of the Toy Story universe, Lotso has been described as “an irredeemable dictator” and “ruling Sunnyside with an iron fist.” Yikes.

As a fellow Pelican contributor put it, “he has no redemption arc and burns to death in a vacuum.”

9. Ted A radical figure who pushes the boundaries of what it means to be a teddy bear, Ted goes perhaps a bit too far. Drinking, smoking, prostitution, and partying is all well and good, but surely a line ought to be drawn at sexy scenes in a supermarket. The world isn’t ready for such furry exhibitionism.

8. Cheer Bear Despite possessing the ability to literally shoots rainbows out of her stomach, there is no acknowledgement by the Care Bears team of her potential to be our next beloved gay icon. Additionally, she has an unreasonable amount of gymnastics talent which is irritating to watch for anybody who isn’t Simone Biles, so this ranking is low just like my expectations for a bear sold at Big W.

7. Yogi Bear I can support a “rugged individualist”, but theft is both Yogi’s main hobby and something I do not want to be on record condoning. This bear has an overly inflated sense of his own importance, and the choice of “smarter than the average bear” for a catchphrase is a bit arrogant for somebody who thinks picnic is pronounced “pic-a-nic.”

6. Polite Bear Waves Hello Described as “a huge dog” by the Youtube commenter I3anter and “still a better love story than twilight” by [MEMBER OF UTTP] ROBLOX IS SUCKS, this bear is best known for his kindly wave to a young girl. Was he trying to lure in a snack? Was it a spasm? A Canadian welcome? Who knows, but it’s definitely a very wholesome piece of cinema.

5. Bear in the Big Blue House The star of relatable content such as “To Clean or Not to Clean”, “The Big Sleep”, and “Dancing the Day Away”, Bear is a loveable figure and trailblazer for the exterior renovation sector who probably inspired the naming of the White House. He has some very adorable friends but unfortunately the moon is not one of them.

4. Paddington Bear A polite bear of Peruvian nationality, Paddington is the stylish hero we all need in our lives. He travelled all the way from Peru in a lifeboat sustaining himself entirely by marmalade. Like all true celebrities, his fame has caused havoc all over the world, being responsible for the murder of fish in New Hampshire, a political scandal for Bob Hawke, and British Bear Magazine’s anti-pirate initiative.

3. Baloo The only character anybody remembers from The Jungle Book , Baloo blesses us with some truly memorable musical numbers. His advice to “forget about your worries and your strife” is an excellent way to squash any feelings of guilt you may have about skipping lectures for reasons that wouldn’t hold up to the Study Smarter workshop coordinators. Tragically, we can also see in censorship of the lyric “let me tell you something little britches” that Baloo is yet another edgy genius stifled by corporate Disney.

2. Shakespeare’s Bear “Exit, pursued by a bear.” One line that makes The Winter’s Tale , this brief but unforgettable appearance is the highlight of the entire play and quite possibly Shakespeare’s entire corpus.

1. Winnie the Pooh Who else could be number one in our hearts? The hero of our childhood, Pooh is a delightful honey-consuming, creative problem-solving, fluffy bundle of joy.

He is a wonderful friend and a surprising purveyor of philosophical wisdom.

Case in point: “You find that sometimes a thing which seemed very thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.” Not sure if this is referring to a business idea, existential dread, or a malfunctioning appendix, but visionary nonetheless.

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Matthew Maltman

A brief history of bears in sport 24

In 1988, Stephen Hawking published his magnum opus, the text for which he will be remembered, a novel named A brief history of time. Now, I will attempt to emulate Mr. Hawking to write about a topic that is indeed very close to my heart and perhaps, more significant.

I fell in love with bears when I discovered that they share a common ancestor with sea lions and seals.

How mad is that? They diverged from each other around 45-50 million years ago. 50 Million years ago, a mammal gave birth to several children, one of which would evolve to be a bear, and another would evolve to be a sea-lion. Insane.

Polar bears are also the largest land predator on earth, and grizzlies and brown bears are also several hundred pound killing machines, so it only makes sense for human beings to have incorporated them into our sport and pursuits of excellence over our evolution. We have competed with other people over the years, so why not look to test ourselves against nature’s ultimate athlete: the bear.

How much of a role could bears have played in our sport? If you thought not enough then you’d be right, join as we take a trip down the strange rabbit hole that is bear’s in sport.

Bear-baiting.

Perhaps the earliest evidence of bears being existent in sport was in England a few hundred years ago in the sport of bear-baiting, which was popular right up until the 19th century. Bear-baiting is the sport of baiting or tormenting bears and setting other animals on them. Large arenas were often packed out to watch vicious dogs being set on an angry bear and watching them fight to the death. Sometimes the bear would be let to roam around and sometimes it would be chained to a pole or a wall.

Sometimes the bear would fight other animals like bulls rather than dogs. Regardless of the specifics of the event, there was always blood, animals forced to fight to the death and peasants screaming in joy.

What was crazy was that royalty loved this, Henry VIII got an arena built and Queen Elizabeth I overruled an attempt from parliament to ban bear-baiting on Sundays. It’s also a bit strange to think that today people get into a fuss about Meghan Markle closing a door and yet the royal family used to be a fan of watching a bear literally tear a bunch of dogs to shreds. It also says something about the strange savage nature of humanity and our proclivity to violence and power. It also says something about how crazy bears are.

Bear-baiting was banned in England in 1835 with ‘The cruelty to animals act’, which is fair enough considering its pretty messed up to make animals fight for our own amusement. Bear-baiting continues to exist throughout parts of America and Pakistan and makes for a part of Youtube I would most certainly recommend avoiding. If you’re so inclined there are several good charities and animal rights organizations attempting to end animal fighting.

Bear-wrestling It didn’t take us long in ‘civilized’ society to be cruel enough to make bears fight other animals. It took us a little longer to be stupid enough to fight them ourselves. From the early to mid-1800’s, wrestlers over America decided it would be a good idea to fight bears (ironically - or perhaps not at all – the same timeframe when bear-baiting was banned).

Now of course, a bear will bite your head off and scratch you to death in an instant, so these bears had to be declawed, detoothed, muzzled and have ‘mittens’ on before they can fight. Then men would try to wrestle them to the ground. Now, if you can get past all the cruelty to get us to this point, you’re probably going to be disappointed. The bears are still far stronger than people, so often the human wrestler would run around the bear for 15-20 minutes until the bear tired itself out and the person would tackle it to the ground. So, the bears also had to be trained not to be too rough.

So of course, there wasn’t going to be a lot of interest in the long run integrity and growth of ‘bear wrestling’ as a sport so instead the sport went to the circus and show business. Perhaps the most famous of these was ‘Terrible Ted’ the 7ft and 600lb wrestling bear. Beginning in 1950, Ted travelled all over America and won over 500 matches, losing less than 10 times in a distinguished career that saw him compete in the WWE (Yes, that WWE, although it was named the WWWF at the time), before retiring in 1975. You can, again, YouTube this stuff, I’m not making it up.

Bear wrestling was never quite the same again, although it is perhaps still legal in Alabama, the great state of which 48.3% voted for Roy Moore.

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Professional-eating

The future of bears in sport

So Bear wrestling was just silly and cruel, meaning that our two species had failed to compete against each other in a meaningful way, until perhaps the greatest overlap of our two great species and certainty the greatest moment in professional competitive eating came in 2003.

Perhaps the ultimate question that remains is the role that bears will play in the future of sport. To answer, we must keep in mind all we have just learned about the role they have played in the past across various cultures and contexts. Of course, we must learn from the horrors of bear baiting and respect the bears that we share the earth with and not torture them. We must learn from bear-wrestling that we can’t actually fight bears without turning it into a cruel farce. We can learn from bear’s grace in professional eating and in Micheal Bear’s very calm and pronounced retirement. But perhaps we can use science and technology to better get inside the mind of the bear and understand them and how they work, so we can work out what sports they enjoy playing and those that they will willingly participate in. There’s something about the bear and what it represents, so strong and wild that we are constantly drawn to them as something to test ourselves against.

Takeru Kobayashi is a Japanese professional eater who holds eight Guinness world records for the competitive eating of hot dogs, meatballs, twinkies, tacos, hamburgers, pizza and ice cream. He stood head and shoulders above his competition by inventing new and faster ways of eating. He was so far above his competition that he decided to challenge another species, an Alaskan Brown bear to a hot dog eating contest. In a race to eat 50 hot dogs, Kobayashi only managed to eat 31 in the two and a half minutes it took the bear to eat all 50.

Kobayashi planned on getting the bear to distracted as the bear could basically just breathe in three or four hot dogs at a time. The bear wasn’t even trying and absolutely flogged him, and I can’t emphasize enough how the bear was able to suck up those hot dogs like a vacuum cleaner. Seriously go check out the YouTube video, it’s the best thing you’ll see all day. You’ve got time.

Kobayashi eventually broke the bear’s record over 10 years later, eating 60 hotdogs in the time it took the bear to eat his 50, so a rematch is surely in order. It’s a travesty of world sport right up there with Grosso’s 2006 dive that we haven’t seen that bear again on the professional eating stage, fighting back for his title. And out of all our methods of competing with bears in sport, this is perhaps most humane, being only slightly cruel.

Micheal Bear Micheal Bear was an English cricketer who played for Essex between 1954 and 1968. He scored nine centuries and was noted as an exceptional fielder. He retired in 1967 “to take up a business appointment”.

Pictured is an actual bear for copyright purposes.

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The Bear

Necessities The Story of Zheleznogorsk, Russia

The flag of Zheleznogorsk, a town of 80,000 people in central Russia, is not a subtle one. Nearly all flags use various colours or historic symbols to represent the culture and people of given territory, but a Google search is usually required to figure out precisely what they stand for. Not with Zheleznogorsk. An atomic whirl surrounds a large yellow bear emblazoned on a red background, with the bear attempting to rip apart the nucleus of the atom. If you ever needed something that screamed “SOVIET NUCLEAR WEAPONS TESTING”, this is it.

Zheleznogorsk was one of many ‘closed towns’ that existed in the Soviet Union. These closed towns sprung up in the 1940s under the name ‘post boxes’ - so named because mail would have to be sent via special post boxes in nearby cities rather than delivered directly. Sometimes they were simply called “the box”. These special zones existed primarily to house sensitive military or industrial facilities, usually in arms research and mostly involving nuclear weapons. Zheleznogorsk itself is the location of some enormous mines that played an important role in early Soviet nuclear development, and is now home to a military reprocessing and nuclear waste facility. How fun!

The collapse of the Soviet Union brought about significant reforms for these towns, which in Russia alone are home to nearly 1.5 million people. The reforms were limited however, and nearly 75% of these cities are still administered by the Russian Ministry of Defense, with the remaining run by a state-owned nuclear energy corporation called Rosatom. Hardly a return to normality.

Indeed, life got pretty miserable for people in these towns. In 1997, the US and Russia worked together to alleviate the conditions, launching an economic revitalisation project called the Nuclear Cities Initiative. They also didn’t want this town full of veteran nuclear weapons manufacturers to just wander around central Asia all pissed off that they were unemployed. You can decide which was the bigger motivating factor, but Zheleznogorsk was one of the main cities to be supported on this initiative.

Cormac Power

So there you have it. If ever someone says to you, “Hey, why does that flag have a picture of a bear ripping apart a nuclear atom?”, you’ll know exactly what to tell them.

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Bear With Me Kevin Nguyen

If I were to tell you my favourite movie of all time, would you be surprised if it was a live action comedy starring a CGI bear? I’m not talking about Ted, no no. It’s bloody Paddington. There’s no other movie that brings a bigger smile to my face. Sweeter than marmalade, and warmer than Darkest Peru on a summer’s day, the Paddington movies are an absolute delight. But why are they such a treat? My feelings toward Paddington can only be described as a reverse of the phrase ‘If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all’- because I’m about to say a whole lot of nice things.

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When I was a kid, I hated it whenever I felt as if someone was talking down to me- the way adults talk when they don’t take you seriously. The Paddington films are devoid of such condescension, taking everything that’s thrown at it with the seriousness of an “adult” film. The maturity of its scenes range from Paddington accidentally shaving the head of a judge, to Paddington (I kid you not) coming to terms with his own death. It’s a film where the solution to acquiring $1000 to buy a book for his Aunt is to do window washing jobs for spare change- and the film tells it with the sincerity it takes to sell a compelling message: Hard work and the right intentions makes the sun shine.

The Paddington films are also un-bear-ably funny (I am so sorry). The comedic timing in these films is unprecedented, and I cannot stress the fact that these movies rival some of the best comedies I’ve seen. The closest approximation I can make would be Edgar Wright. Paddington has jokes flying around so fast, I’m still picking up jokes on my tenth watch, and even the ones I’ve laughed at before are still as funny as the first time I saw them. There are great visual gags, such as a wonderful bit of physical comedy involving Paddington weighing himself down with a flower pot, and a gag involving the spelling of the word “Knuckles”, just to name a few.

The jokes aren’t cheap fart gimmicks just aimed at making kids laugh, while adults scoff. They’re jokes that expand young minds, and refresh older minds on the playfulness of youth.

It would be remiss of me to not talk about all of the performances in the Paddington movies. Each scene almost seems like a masterclass of British film and television. Not only does Ben Whishaw absolutely nail the gentle, naive nature of Paddington, but he also breathes so much life into every single line he delivers. So much so that you completely forget you’re watching an animated bear. Paddington seems more real than most Oscar winning performances I’ve seen lately, and Ben, that’s all

thanks to you! Sally Hawkins embodies the incredibly warm and understanding Mrs Brown, and Peter Capaldi is excellent as the old, crumby Mr Curry.

But, with all this said, one of the best performances in the films, and maybe all of cinema, is without a doubt the performance of Hugh Grant as Phoenix Buchanan. Hugh gets to chew every single scene he’s in, playing an actor who himself takes on various roles, such as Poirot, Macbeth, and an unusual nun, to name a few. The wacky range portrayed by Grant is an absolute marvel to behold, as he treads the line between goofy, and scary; self-obsessed, and determined, perfectly. It’s such a great pastiche of actors, and Hugh, you bloody knocked it out of the park.

The Paddington movies clearly possess all the elements needed for a fantastic film, and I didn’t even get to talk about the great Calypso band that appears on screen and provides the movie with a great soundtrack. Nor did I get to Jim Broadbent as Mr Gruber, and countless other things that make these movies absolute treats. But, if you’re still unsure, I’ll leave you with this: I watched Paddington 1 & 2 when my life was at a low point. I was extremely upset at a multitude of things going on in my life. Barely a day went by where I didn’t cry.

Yet, by the time the credits rolled, I was crying for a different reason. I didn’t feel lonely anymore. Not when these movies embrace you the way they do.

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Kanye and The Bear Sophie Minissale

More often than not, the most notable moments in art and music happen by accident. Perhaps one these moments I was most surprised to find out was an accident was Kanye Wests’ icon of his early work, the teddy bear mascot. The mascot features on each of his first three album releases, forming what is now to be known as the “College Trio”, and the bear as the “Dropout Bear”.

Music executive Plain Pat, most known for managing the early careers of Kanye West and Kid Cudi, claims in his 2014 interview with Complex Magazine that on the shoot for the album cover of The College Dropout, “The bear just happened to be at the school where Def Jam had booked the photo shoot for the album… I don’t think the bear was [premeditated].

I don’t remember us bringing a bear, I don’t remember him asking for a bear either”.

I don’t think the way it turned into such an iconic symbol for early years Kanye could have been “premeditated” either.

As explained before, the bear mascot made its first appearance on the album cover of Kanye’s

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debut album release, The College Dropout. Perhaps appropriately so, as the main thesis of the album is Kanye’s disillusionment with the College system and the intense expectations of having to go there in the first place.

Again, the bear makes an appearance on his second solo album endeavour, Late Registration and finally in a cartoon interpretation on the cover of his third project, Graduation, and often later depicted in complete 2007 shutter shades and glitzy chain, what I see as an artefact of the Hip Hop ‘bling-era’.

Although it originated by accident, I think that the bear mascot can retrospectively be seen to represent something deeper within his discography.

On a whole, the College Trio of albums reflect every stage of someone in the formative years of their life.

Each album is littered with a track for every point on the emotional spectrum from expression of deep insecurity and acceptance (All Falls Down on College Dropout and Everything I Am on Graduation) to feelings of unashamed triumph (Celebration on Late Registration and Champion on Graduation).

They’re relatable and accessible both in their lyricism and production. There is no bigger agenda to it, no coinciding fashion releases, just music. I think that the fact Kanye purposely doesn’t appear on the front of his covers, but instead a relatable childhood symbol, allows people to better empathise with the music and its message. Especially seeing as Kanye didn’t have too much of a controversial and identifiable persona in his early days, the music was less about his own personal experiences but rather a vessel for how someone might be feeling too. It was a character both for Kanye and for everyone who listens to his music.

Interestingly enough, the last time we see the bear on Kanye’s album covers, is on the alternative album cover for his 2010 album, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. An album, which very much cemented a brash, unashamed persona and ultimately the post College Trio Kanye. Perhaps signifying this development even more is that the bear appears to

be decrepit and “zombie-fied”. It was dead for 808s and Heartbreak (the album before MBDTF) and only comes back now for a very specific purpose, to prove it’s finally been killed off.

I think that the reason we don’t really see the bear anymore is because in the very sense of the word, Kanye has graduated beyond it. It served its purpose as an image for subverting the college aspiration, but in his later years, Kanye isn’t concerned with rejecting the normal, in some ways “expected” trajectory of life.

For all intents and purposes, he’s already gone and transcended it. The ‘mask’ is not needed as a crutch for him anymore, kind of like how a young child doesn’t need or want their teddy bear once they get older, except for nostalgic purposes.

Kanye isn’t the Dropout Bear anymore, he’s left that behind. Now, and perhaps forever from this point onward, he’s just Kanye West and everything that, that entails.

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North Korea Isn’t A Communist Country The Hermit Kingdom Laid Bare Cormac Power When someone mentions North Koreas political system, what pops into your head? A failed Stalinist dictatorship. 1984 brought to life. A communist dystopia. We tend to think of North Korea in absolutes, where all attempts at political or economic freedom are stamped out by an unbreakably dense system of state repression. Yet, much of the state apparatus that exists within North Korea, as well as many of its founding doctrines, bears little to no resemblance to the world of Marxism. Indeed, some fly directly in the face of anything vaguely close to socialism.

Let’s start with the very structure of North Korean society – the songbun system. Your position in society, that is, where you can live, your chances of entrance to a university, the job you can have or even chances of promotion within that job, all depends on what your ancestors were doing during the Japanese occupation and establishment of the North Korean state. There are three broad classes, the core, wavering and hostile. To take an example, if your grandparents were some kind of religious activists or worked for the Japanese colonial administration, you would be put in the hostile class. There is essentially no chance of escaping it.

What else is a big no-no in the books of Karl Marx? Hereditary succession. The North Korean government has been ruled by the Kim family since its establishment, and not just in the top job. The Kim family, including sisters, brothers, cousins and

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uncles have all occupied various positions in the upper echelons of the North Korean government.

North Korea is much more of a family regime than anything like the ‘dictatorship of the proletariat’.

In fact, North Korea’s state ideology is tinged far more with fascist tendencies than anything else.

While North Korea’s official ideology is ‘juche’ (often translated as self-reliance), much of its own state propaganda actually focuses more on a racial Korean purity and supremacy. The claim isn’t to physical superiority in the style of Nazism, but rather a moral superiority. This racial superiority also extends to how it sees the rest of the world. This also extends to how the North Koreans depict their enemies. The USSR professed its Marxist ideology as superior, but was careful to not condemn all Americans, but rather the evil system of capitalism. They consistently tried to appeal to disenfranchised African-Americans through its proletarian internationalism, depicting them as more workers struggling to free themselves.

For North Korea – all Americans are part of an inherently evil race. Hardly the ‘workers of the world unite’ of Marxism.

Since the mid 1990s, North Korea has also undergone fundamental internal changes that make it nearly impossible to now characterise the country as anything close to a communist nation.

With a devastating famine and a state unable to feed its people, previously banned private markets flourished, as North Koreans took up widespread trading under a regime that had no choice but to tolerate it. Even with the end of the famine, little could be done to reverse what has become a fundamental change in the North Korean domestic economy. Many North Korean towns and cities have these markets at the centre of their economy, and an extremely basic form of market economy has taken hold.

Many appeals to look at the ‘real’ North Korea often invite you to think of it as a normal country, or attempt to ‘expose’ it as even crazier than you once thought. It’s pretty clear to anyone who looks beyond the surface, that North Korea is not, and arguably never has been, a communist country. Let’s look at North Korea as it really is – a failed family regime based on half-baked ideas of racial purity, with a collapsed economy that has survived only by transitioning to grassroots market economics. It doesn’t matter whether the DPRK is your rhetorical tool of choice for bashing communism or singing its praises. You’ve picked the wrong tool.

Pelly bare nudes enter at your own risk

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pelly nudes Name: Tiffany Ko What do you study? Full-time unemployment How do you contribute to Pelican? I have written some questionable words Favourite Pelican memory: Every one of them!

Katie or Josh? Both of course Would you rather fight 25 Jug sized Middies or 100 Middie sized Jugs? Middie sized Jugs sound cuter and way less threatening, so I’ll probably go with that Where do you see yourself in 2k19? Hopefully becoming the mother of 5 + guinea pigs Best spot on campus: I know this is really basic but - The Sunken Garden (when there are no mosquitos) Catchphrase: Sorry I’m late...

Name: Bridget ‘Bee’ Rumball What do you study? Juris Doctor, first year!

How do you contribute to Pelican? I make stupid podcasts, annoy Guild hacks, write a whole lot and edit the Lifestyle portfolio.

Favourite Pelican memory: Katie and I ruffling college row feathers in week two of Semester One. Josh, Cormac and I interviewing candidates during Guild Elections like a hardhitting journo. Recording podcasts with Cohen every fortnight and pretending we’re on NPR. Katie or Josh? Come on, that’s like picking between sweet Albany Mum and bad sweater Dad. Would you rather fight 25 Jug sized Middies or 100 Middie sized Jugs? Well look, if the middies are jug sized, then they’re not middies anymore are they? Middie sized jugs would be easier to take on, considering how small middies actually are compared to pints.

Where do you see yourself in 2k19? I’ll still hanging around the Pelican office like an old jaded ghost, sitting on the couch and complaining about Law School to whoever’ll listen.

Best spot on campus: Creator Space Catchphrase: ‘I’m on it!’

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Name: Susie Charkey What do you study? The hems of garments, my freckles for signs of melanoma and your sentences for typographical errors.

How do you contribute to Pelican? Turning up ridiculously over-dressed to every meeting, editing the fashion section like Suzy Menkes, and occasionally writing the odd article.

Favourite Pelican memory: Backstage at a fashion show with the one and only Sophie Minissale, after flashing our pretty press passes.

Katie or Josh? This brings me nightmarish flashbacks of Sophie’s Choice. If there was such a thing as ‘Pelican blasphemy’ – this question, undoubtedly, would be it.

Would you rather fight 25 Jug sized Middies or 100 Middie sized Jugs? That depends on whether or not they are $2 middies.

Where do you see yourself in 2k19? On a journey towards spiritual enlightenment, that hopefully does not involve me shaving my head, surrendering all worldly possessions and trekking in the Tibetan mountains. And partying with the Pelican lovelies, naturally.

Best spot on campus: The speakeasy.

Catchphrase: “Bunnings swatched” ‘18

Name: Sophie Mini-sail What do you study? I study unemployment. So, Media Communications and History.

How do you contribute to Pelican? With obnoxious opinions about music.

Favourite Pelican memory: Every time I walked into the Pelican Office unexpectedly and frightened Josh.

Katie or Josh? I love you both equally and you should know this.

Would you rather fight 25 Jug sized Middies or 100 Middie sized Jugs? I don’t want to fight. I just want to drink my beer peacefully and in large quantities.

Where do you see yourself in 2k19? Guys, I don’t know what I’m doing tomorrow let alone next year.

Best spot on campus: The best spot on campus is the one in your heart.

Catchphrase: Not with that attitude.

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pelly nudes Name: Eloise Skoss What do you study? Population Health How do you contribute to Pelican? With my hot takes on global social issues / amateur uni music ensembles Favourite Pelican memory: my first ever article being published and feeling special Katie or Josh? Katie, because we both have bangs (#fringebenefits) Would you rather fight 25 Jug sized Middies or 100 Middie sized Jugs? 25 Jug-sized middies. The latter would likely prove an unassailable juggernaut.

Where do you see yourself in 2k19? possibly homeless- if anyone is looking for a 6 month lease and knows how to wash their own dishes, HMU pls Best spot on campus: the standing desks at Reid #sittingisthenewsmoking Catchphrase: “seize the means of production”

Name: Hugh Hutchison What do you study? International Relations in İstanbul How do you contribute to Pelican? I managed to go the entire year without accepting a single comedy commission. Refused several, deliberately lost some to never-ending edits. Also answering this survey is the first time in six months I’ve opened my Pelican email. Don’t @me Favourite Pelican memory: Having an outlet to spew nonsense about a university I no longer attend.

Katie or Josh? Katie is a leech on the public purse working for the BIGGEST PURVEYOR OF COMMUNISM IN AUSTRALIA so Josh by default Would you rather fight 25 Jug sized Middies or 100 Middie sized Jugs? I don’t understand the question and I won’t respond to it.

Where do you see yourself in 2k19? Probably in a gutter next to the Bosphorus Best spot on campus: At home because you missed the bus so consequently you’re missing the whole day of classes Catchphrase: Only in town for one night, my company is paying for my hotel, just looking for friends

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Name: Cait What do you study: Pathology & Microbiology How do you contribute to Pelican: Science Co-editing + some writing Favourite Pelican memory: print launches at the tav Katie or Josh: (which one’s which?)

Would you rather: definitely 100 middie sized jugs Where do you see yourself in 2k19: deeper in HECS debt Best spot on campus: yellow parking bays Catchphrase: lowest prices are just the beginning

Name: Maja Maric What do you study? A good time How do you contribute to Pelican? Great fashion articles, beautiful fashion articles.

Favourite Pelican memory: Accidentally having a pre fashion show photoshoot outside the Pelican office, in my defence a period couch was calling to me at the time.

Katie or Josh? Josh, for accidentally walking into the above.

Where do you see yourself in 2k19? Making twice as many regrettable decisions as 2k18, if possible whilst being even more fabulously dressed.

Best spot on campus: Reid first floor red couches for a saucy little nap.

Catchphrase: Scandalised

Name: Laura Bullock What do you study? Double majoring in French, and Anatomy and Human Biology How do you contribute to Pelican? I write op-ed and educational pieces on disability and Deafness!

Favourite Pelican memory: The Pelly team being more on top of accessibility and diversity than the actual University Katie or Josh? Katie...come back queen...

Would you rather fight 25 Jug sized Middies or 100 Middie sized Jugs? Both at once Where do you see yourself in 2k19? Taken out by a deep web hitman and/or starting my own accessibility consultancy maybe Best spot on campus: Sunken Garden...BARE Edition Nudes 2.0 look out I’m coming for you Catchphrase: I asked @Ishita and we have come to the conclusion that none of my regular catchphrases should be heard in public maybe ever, and definitely not published 37

Name: Ishita Favourite Pelican memory: Probably the first launch where I walked from the Tav to the Reflection Pond and back in heels just to take a few photos with the Pelly mascot. I also loved O-Day because that was a great day to meet prospective writers and artists!

Katie or Josh? I’d have to pick Josh because he’s still here with us! (Miss you though Katie even though you left us for the ABC.) Would you rather fight 25 Jug sized Middies or 100 Middie sized Jugs? I’d fight the 100 middie sized jugs because they’d get crushed quick and easy.

Where do you see yourself in 2k19? I see myself not as stressed hopefully, although I may be proved wrong.

Best spot on campus: either the Women’s Room or Sunken Gardens!

Catchphrase: My catchphrases are far too stupid to list here but I’ll leave you with my most common one: ‘maybe so’.

Name: Thomas Coltrona What do you study? Law How do you contribute to Pelican? I’m the Weather Editor/allaround boss writer Favourite Pelican memory: Has to be creating agony pelican cos that was hilarious to make and watch Katie or Josh? Josh, because he’s the reason I’ll be the first and last Weather Editor Would you rather fight 25 Jug sized Middies or 100 Middie sized Jugs? 25 jug sized middies cos I reckon that would be a fun party Where do you see yourself in 2k19? In Canada on exchange before coming back to my normal law studying life Best spot on campus: Oak lawn, you don’t need to go anywhere to get anything, it’s all there Catchphrase: “Hey did you hear about...” cos it’s basically how I start every sentence

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How did you start modelling?

I had a photographer friend who was studying at the time and he wanted to shoot me for an assignment.

It was like black-and-white portraits, in a park – very that sort of thing. Afterwards, he was like I think you should actually pursue this. I had a friend who was at the agency I’m with now (Scene) and she recommended them. I got signed and that’s just sort of how it came about.

What were the most memorable shoots or shows you’ve done?

A Male Model

Stripped Bare To get a ‘behind the scenes’ look at the modelling industry, fashion editor Susie Charkey chatted with UWA Law student and part-time model, Joshua Sanchez-Lawson. With a graduate job lined up for next year, Josh reflects on his experiences and shares his thoughts on being a male model in the fashion industry.

Susie Charkey Photo taken by Ben Hallam 40

I got to do a shoot for STM which was super cool.

It was based around androgynous fashion - that’s kind of the ‘brand’ I’ve always had when I’ve been modelling and that’s where a lot of my work has come from. It was out in some old, abandoned gas station. They found a girl who looked vaguely similar to me and put us in these matching outfits; leather, denim, and a tartan, that sort of thing. Another year I did a student show for Perth’s Fashion Festival. The outfit I wore was a clear plastic hood, sort of like a rain poncho, but very sculptural. It had pockets where they inserted fresh flowers and that was it - just my underwear and shoes. It was completely see-through. I didn’t actually have it assigned to me originally. They had given it to another guy, but he was like, “There’s no way I’m wearing that!”. So, they said Josh will do it, he’s down for anything and I totally am. On the night of the show, I couldn’t really breathe through the material and I couldn’t see because there were flowers in my face, but I still did the walk. It was really fun, you know; what a time, what a look. One of the photographs actually turned up in the paper’s festival highlights, there was a big photo of me. Then it was used in promos the following year and I was like, oh god, I really wish I had gotten a tan for that one.

Have you had any bad experiences or dealt with any struggles as a model?

The positives definitely outweigh the negatives.

You’ve got to have a sense of humour and not take yourself too seriously. But I’ve certainly had shoots where you know, you thought you were doing a great job during it but then you’re disappointed when the images go out. You never have control over what image you end up with. You can do your best on the day but the angle they decide to go with you don’t like or you thought you got better shots but they used different ones. All you can control is what you do at shoots and then what happens with that, in terms of the final product, it’s beyond your control.

I suppose that was sometimes a challenge. Another

thing is dealing with rejection. Especially because there’s a lot less modelling work in Perth, because it’s a smaller fashion market, and in that subsect, there are even fewer modelling opportunities for men. And I suppose for me, I was never a stockstandard, stereotypical hot male model, so the scope becomes even more limited. But that’s not been a bad thing all the time, because it means I’ve gotten gigs that stereotypical hot guys wouldn’t have. But at the same time, it means never being able to get some opportunities no matter how hard you try or work. You are just barred from the get-go. You are never even considered because of how you look.

I think that’s something people don’t appreciate about modelling as opposed to other jobs. Everyone thinks you just sit there and look pretty. A lot of the time you can work extremely hard, really hit the pavement, be great with your social media etc. But there’s a ceiling you can’t get through just because of how you look.

You mentioned as a male model you have a unique look, but is there still a pressure to conform and look a certain way?

For me, there were many times I was actually quite happy to not be in that stereotypical hot guy category. I think it’s worse if you’re in that because then it’s like are you the most toned, tanned, muscular and chiselled, in terms of facial features etc. But then by that same token, as someone whose work relies on me being tall, slender and paler, it means my hair has to be the shiniest, my skin needs to be flawless. I need to be way slimmer than I am naturally and more toned so I photograph better.

So even when you’re outside of that mainstream box, you still have to be the best in your box. I feel like if you’re not projecting the best visual version of yourself, then you’re letting down the people who booked you and are relying on you to get the shot. So, there’s that kind of letting down the team pressure, when you know you’re an integral part. I remember in the lead up to fashion week, I knew I had these skinny jeans to wear and I’ve was like, oh guys “I’m not doing dessert”, “I’m not doing ice cream” or whatever – “I’ve got fashion week coming up”. And my friends were like, “Oh, shut up”. But I was like it’s literally what I have to do. When you’re in an industry where your worth and your livelihood, in some situations, is tied up with how you look you need to take care of your appearance in a way.

At one point, I actually had a conversation with my agency managers about me working internationally.

Which was cool to be part of but they were saying

your look has gotten you work only you can do compared to male models, but you’re not as versatile. So, it meant yes, I’ve got a stronger, more unique look but if a designer uses that it becomes associated with their image. Essentially, they said we don’t want you to change anything about yourself but if you want international work, you can consider making yourself more versatile i.e. a bit more mainstream. Just so you’re palatable for a wider range of jobs. So, there’s a pressure to make choices how you want to present yourself and what you’re willing to change about yourself to get certain opportunities and what you’re not.

Do those sorts of things affect you mentally?

It does. Probably more than I consciously realise, but what has helped me not have a breakdown if I don’t get a gig- sort of thing, is the knowledge that it’s a gig-based job. It’s a paid hobby rather than a fulltime career. I have other avenues to move forward in.

I can’t imagine if that wasn’t the case. If something pops up it’s amazing, but it’s not the be all and end all if it doesn’t. And that conversation wasn’t at all negative, they discussed my options and the paths to get there etc. But having someone sit there and talk to you about how you look as a brand, as a product, is something that I knew was a part of the industry but it was the first time I had it directly happen to me. Things were said like, change this or that about yourself and you’ll get more work. Or your look is strong because it’s on trend in the industry at the moment, but it won’t get you work in the long term.

And I was like I totally get that, but this is how I look.

It’s not something I can easily change.

What are your goals for the future? Will you pursue modelling?

As my degree has progressed I’ve been increasingly more grad-career focused. It’s mainly just get through this semester and then I’ve got a job lined up. If anything pops-up and it’s right for me - then I’ll do it because I’ve really enjoyed what I’ve done so far. But other than that, it’s not really an industry where you can be like I want that show, I want this show etc. You can do your best to meet people and drum up work, but at the end of the day, there’s only so much you can do. Modelling is not really a profession where you can set tangible goals and necessarily have them come true just because you worked hard. You have to really sit there and wait for opportunities to come. But I think what will be fun now though is I can actually go to and enjoy the fashion shows. Because normally I’d be backstage, but it would be nice to watch on as a bystander.

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How Skins made adolescence bearable Is Boogaerdt From an outsider’s perspective, Bryan Elsey & Jamie Brittain’s teen-drama series, Skins (UK), probably doesn’t seem like the best thing to watch growing up. The series focuses on teenagers running around doing drugs, skipping school/college, hooking up, plus (often) treating each other and their parents like shit. But for those who grew up with the series, it has been a source of comfort, exploration and acceptance. Our teenage years are undeniably some of the scariest of our lives and as trite as it might sound, the series made me feel less alone. It gave me a basis of how to navigate the pathway to adulthood whilst simultaneously, giving me an escape from the unavoidable, however natural, hormones, thoughts and feelings that circulated my body.

Those who are fans of the series would agree that the depiction of the teenage characters and their experiences is pretty goddamn accurate. Maybe not so for my 14 year old self, but there were definitely lots of parallels to the later years of my high-school life. Interestingly, Brittain is Elsey’s son and when the show first aired Brittain was 22. The series came into existence when his dad was preparing for a pitch and Brittain challenged him to change things up by creating something that had a bit more ‘edge’ to it, something with more nuanced representations that would engage a teenage audience. Having a young writer, in addition to this drive, was what enabled the duo to produce such an enchanting series. Instead of simply depicting an oversimplification of the lives of teenagers, the series also placed focus on the issues that they faced. This meant viewers were more able

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to see that the ‘lifestyles’ of the characters actually do have consequences and that drug abuse, starving yourself and self-mutilation are not healthy escapes from the problems we face.

Social media didn’t have the presence in our lives as it does today, so the first notion of beauty we were exposed to was via the bodies we saw on the TV screen – and this was quite impactful. Particularly in the worst years of my eating disorder I fawned over Effy and Cassie’s bodies, thinking that they were the epitome of beauty. Yet at the end of that period I was able to acknowledge that they were actually just very sick. And that was not something to long for.

People are quick to criticise the show for blatantly depicting the ways in which Cassie got away with her dysfunctional habits, and considering I can give a first-hand account as to how it somewhat fuelled my illness- their criticism does have some merit. I will say, however: this shit’s on the Internet. At least the show was a medium in which the producers could portray the consequences of her behaviour.

In fact, seeing Cassie receive treatment – despite the loopholes she managed to find – lead me to see the importance of recovery. The depiction of her inner turmoil and her subconscious desire to not have to worry about food etc. felt authentic. It was something that none of the mediocre health lessons throughout middle school were able to teach me.

Provided we didn’t go to a conservative school, health lessons taught us about ‘safety’ within sexual encounters i.e. how to put on a condom and the

different forms of contraception. These lessons might have covered the physical aspect of relationships, albeit from a very heteronormative perspective, but they missed many other key aspects, namely the impact that relationships have on our emotional and mental health. Initially, people long for what Freddie and Effy have, but we later come to realise the manipulative and unhealthy nature of their relationship. Regardless of what Tumblr might have told us, finding the ‘right person’ will not save us from our demons. Yes, this notion was entertained within the series but eventually the show positioned us to recognise how dangerous and destructive it is to believe that someone we love is capable of rescuing or curing us.

The lack of LGBTQ+ figures within film and TV often leaves teens that are questioning their sexuality or gender identity even more confused as they are bombarded with the narrative of a girl and a boy falling in love. And sure, the majority of the characters in the series are straight, but the inclusion of gay and lesbian characters within the show that also aren’t overtly stereotypical, is validating. First Generation’s Maxxie isn’t depicted as very feminine and his sexuality ends up being the force that breaks through cultural norms. The relationship between Emily and Naomi might have been problematic, but their sexuality wasn’t softened to be more ‘TVfriendly’, none of them died (which is common for lesbian characters) and they didn’t turn out to be bisexual (another common trope). Additionally, the issues they had weren’t about who would carry their

child or who wore the ‘pants’ in the relationship.

Their issues were just issues. These characters were a reminder that it is okay to be queer and, that it is necessary to be honest with others but also with ourselves.

You never fully understand something until you have first-hand experience of it, but watching a character as young as Chris die would unknowingly pave the way I would deal with the loss of one of my own friends. Finding internal coping mechanisms was neither the characters nor my own strong suit.

Instead we found comfort in the people around us. The show reminded me of the power of good company, the value in talking about my feelings and that, in small doses, wallowing in these feelings can be helpful.

Having watched the series many times now, the biggest lesson it has taught me is that it’s okay to fuck up. It’s okay to not know what you want to do, it’s okay to not have your shit together and it’s okay to gallivant in the middle of nowhere whilst putting cocaine in your gums. Yeah so not the latter part of that sentence (don’t do drugs kids!), but you get the gist. The show well and truly conveyed the belief that everything is a learning curve. The rawness of the characters and their experiences attests to the amount of chaos that exists in the lives of teenagers, and for me, made being a teenager that little bit more bearable.

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Til death do us part A look into the world of fashion for the dead

As humans, we obsess over the concept of death.

Where do we go? What does it feel like? When will I die? These are age-old questions that tease our very existence Something we don’t consider though, is what we will be wearing when we’re buried in the ground?

Ancient rituals of burying our ancestors have been lost in contemporary life. But the core emotional and spiritual connection to death, and how we pass on our loved ones is still there. We have elaborate funerals, hold memorial services, organise beautiful flower arrangements and ornate coffins. As well as professional engravers for headstones, there are fashion designers that clothe corpses, as a way to ease the transition from life to death.

Dr Pia Interlandi a prominent figure in this field, is an artist and researcher who explores death and clothing through her work “Garments for the Grave”.

Inspired by the passing of her grandfather, Interlandi was chosen to dress him for the burial service and found that not much thought was put into what he was to wear. So she developed a practice where she explored how we clothe the dead, and how we should clothe the dead.

As well as the aesthetic and almost spiritual nature of dressing our loved ones for the grave, there are also functional elements to dressing a dead body. When a body is embalmed for the burial process, organs are removed, which re-shape the size of the body. Plus, rigor mortis setting in does cause problems with the whole dressing process.

Her garments are made purposefully for a dead body, where pieces are tied to the body to create a stunning yet simple shroud.

Whilst humans decompose naturally, our clothes do not. Fibres that are made from plastics such as polyester do not erode into the ground, and give off polluting fumes when burned in cremation. The garments designed by Interlandi are intended to decompose along with the body, and so are made of all-natural fibres, like cotton and silk. She has also had some requests for more personal shrouds, where one was made from the sheet the deceased slept with their partner in. A very beautiful touch to their final garment.

Other designers, such as Mark Mitchell and Jae Rhim Lee are working in the field of burial clothing, and are also taking the angle of eco-friendly designs and materials. Mitchell’s garments are reminiscent of 19th century Parisian couture and focuses on beautiful, hand sewn pieces. Lee’s approach is slightly different, with her garments being made with a fungal culture that aids the environmentally safe decomposition of the human body. It’s a hidden and small side of the fashion world that needs our attention, and these designers are taking enormous strides in a field we didn’t know we needed.

Fashion is complex, nuanced, and vital to our everyday lives. We wear clothes for function, aesthetic, and most of all - meaning. What we wear conveys who we are and what we do without words. The clothes we wear tells our story to others, and that in itself is incredibly powerful. What these fashion designers are doing is giving the final voice to the dead. The image they want to be remembered by. And a choice of clothing for burial becomes a person’s last, albeit unspoken, act.

Frances Harvey

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My Health Record:

Bared to the world?

Jordan Soresi Unbeknownst to many, My Health Record has existed since 2012, albeit under a different name.

The Personally Controlled Electronic Health Record went relatively unnoticed for that and one other significant reason: it was opt-in. Under its new iteration, My Health Record is opt-out. If they did not opt out, a personal online summary of their health information was created. This has generated considerable controversy and opposition for reasons which none would argue are trivial. Indeed, My Health Record poses an increasingly familiar war of ideas: a tussle between the advantages of efficiency and the risk to individual privacy.

Why sharing your personal health information is a good thing...

The primary reason for moving from an opt-in to opt-out system is that participation rates under the former paradigm were too low. The federal government encourages Australians to engage with My Health Record, insisting it would improve healthcare services nationwide. It is designed to provide both patients and healthcare professionals with access to medical records in a timely and efficient way, simultaneously facilitating patient management. This could, in turn, improve patient safety outcomes.

Moreover, patients are given the power to control what is uploaded onto their records, and to restrict access to that information to certain parties, using a Record Access Code or a Limited Document Access Code. They may even track the organisations that access their data and the date of access.

Under My Health Record, all medical professionals see the same information. This should encourage professionals to work together. In this way, it should help to reduce the rate of medication error.

As Professor Meredith Makeham suggests, full information is conducive to “good clinical decisions”.

Increasing professionals’ access to information enables them to make more optimal decisions,

and diagnose in the most accurate way possible.

Hundreds of thousands of medical misadventures occur annually, as a result of a mindset anchored in silos. Moving away from compartmentalisation and towards integration is both theoretically and practically a good thing for patients. … but is it too good to be true?

In saying this, there are a number of concerns, which have prompted objection to My Health Record.

Patients may prefer to restrict the contents of their Record, but this poses issues in and of itself.

Not being comprehensive or up-to-date arguably renders the system of little use. After all, how is more access advantageous if what you are accessing is an incomplete picture?

Despite industrial-level security protection measures, such as firewalls, surveillance and encryption, My Health Record is not impenetrable. With digitisation comes the risk of vulnerability. Centralising and making information easily accessible creates the risk that it will be, well, accessed – just not always by the right people. Indeed, Alastair MacGibbon, of the Australian Cyber Security Centre, explained that health data, by reason of its numerous points of vulnerability, has “large threat surface”, making it especially susceptible to hacking and unwanted, prying eyes. What makes health data particularly attractive to criminals is the fact that it contains substantial personal information, which can be used in identity theft.

Not only are there threats from security breaches, but also from unintended human error, which alone accounted for half of the data breaches recorded this year.

One other source of concern is the planned secondary use of My Health Record data. As a Department of Health spokesperson stated, users can choose to have their data used in a “deidentified form, or in an identified form [with express consent]” for public benefit and research purposes.

De-identification is not foolproof, however, as thirdparty re-identification has been proven possible.

My Health Record is a contentious, soon-to-be reality in Australia. There are many more nuanced arguments in favour of as well as against widespread uptake. However, at its most fundamental, it, like all digital systems, carries the risk of undermining individual privacy. In saying this, there is great potential to improve Australians’ lives through better, more coordinated health care. Ultimately, the choice to opt out rests with none other than you.

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The Naked T

(The Naked and the Nude) Jaimi Wright Be honest with yourself. When was the last time you actually thought about the difference between the words “naked” and “nude”? How they are so similar and yet so different? You’d think, off the cuff, that they would mean the same thing: simply the absence of clothes. But trust me my dear reader, it is not so.

We used to think more about these words way back in history, but I know you don’t think about them much anymore. Don’t attempt to deny it, I know you don’t. We don’t think about them because culture has moved on. And so it should. Time is as time does.

And yet, when I was set upon to investigate the distinction between these two words I came across something rather profound and curious: the history of “naked” and “nude” and their difference still has a hold over us - over you and over me.

Stay with me for this journey. Let me explain.

I am tucked away in a little nook of the University known as ALVA, which is where they put all the degrees they don’t know what to do with. We hide from all of you across Stirling Highway and Hampden Road where no one can be bemused by us. Among this unusual conglomerate, I have the singular privilege of feeling at home in the Art History department, which I humbly consider as heaven on earth.

In this secluded paradise we Art History students relish in delving into the past, and in a certain sense, the past is where we live. For Art Historians it’s not uncommon to hear in passing conversation “Freud is being such a prick” or “Pablo Piccasshole is causing too much drama for me” and even “I would totally invite Monet to one of my dinner parties.” The

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past is part of our everyday and so are its concepts, its ideologies, and its nuances.

It makes sense then that the archaic nuance between “naked” and “nude” eventually became an interest I would investigate as part of my everyday.

You see, back in the Olde Tyme – the time that I study, (we’re talking one-hundred and fifty years back) – the bared human body was a constant point of fascination for painters, sculptors, and all artists alike. Some uncovered bodies were depicted with their bottoms perched neatly on chairs, some daintily holding fruit, some draped in bed sheets, and one woman (bizarrely) was pictured sans clothing holding up a parrot that for some reason had flown into her bed-chamber.

Because the bare human form held special enchantment for artists, it’s obviously also a point of interest for us Art Historians. The best of us who are at the top of the food chain (the ones who write seven hundred word books), through a lot of hmming and aaaing noticed a point of difference between these uncovered bodies and the ways in which they were presented. One of these Art History maestros, my man Kenneth Clark, was particularly astute at making this distinction and this is initially how I came across the terms “naked” and “nude”, and their corporeal discrepancy.

Mr. Kenneth distinguishes “naked” and “nude” bodies thusly: to be nude, a body must be bared in an aesthetically pleasing sense and, as a nude, it is part of a central subject of art. For Kenneth and many other Art Historians a nude body must be a confident body, an object of beauty. When you look at this body your eyes have to say, “Yes please, hot damn, that body though.” The naked body, by contrast, is distinguished from the nude

Truth body, as it is a body without clothes that carries an uncomfortable overtone of embarrassment or shame. The person whose body it is in the artwork may be trying to hide away, or seem to regret that they ever stepped outside that morning.

And this pointed difference we have not left behind us. This perception of nakedness and insecurity has influenced our speech patterns and the ways that we continue to perceive our bodies. Take for example a turn of phrase that is still used commonly today: “the naked truth.” Often it is dismissed as simply to mean unadorned facts, but it is used particularly to describe something unpleasant or offensive. When using it one might remark, “I’m terribly sorry, but that is the naked truth.”

So entertain this notion for a moment, we carry this shame for our bodies in our speech still, a shame that has history, and a shame for something we have no control over. Our patterns of speech reflect our thinking patterns and it is my understanding that in this western world we still harbor this kind of shame for our bodies in our souls. We are born, that is that; this is our armature, and I for one think its far too exhausting to be ashamed of something that we cannot change.

I’m not saying I can change the history of a word or the way we think about that word’s object, I don’t have that kind of power and am not even sure if I would want it. But wouldn’t it be nice if the way we described our bodies without clothes on through a day-to-day basis – with all its connotations, manifestations, and idioms – were not of shame, embarrassment, and fear, but instead of confidence, pride, and particularly contentment. Maybe we need to stop being so naked, and get a bit more nude.

Image: “Woman with a Parrot” by Gustave Courbet 47

In Defence of Art (You Think) You Hate Stirling Kain

If you were to visit Carl Andre’s 144 Magnesium Square (1969) at the Tate Gallery, the tour guide might tell you what an absolutely integral Minimalist artwork it is. Doubtless, you and thousands of others would think that it more closely resembles a Bunnings floor display for bathroom tiles; perhaps it is too bare for you to consider it ‘real art’ and you would hate it because of that fact. Regarding the resemblance to a floor display you wouldn’t be wrong. But in regards to hating it, it might be worth rethinking your stance.

Think about it: your main complaint with Andre’s piece, and art that is similarly worshipped by institutions yet detested by the public - for instance Minimalist art, is not that it is inherently offensive or disgusting. You cannot tell me that actual Bunnings tile displays invoke the same hatred. It stands to reason that it is the guide’s explanation, and the fact that the art piece resides in a gallery, that makes you uncomfortable.

You hate the institutions that venerate this art, and the way they represent it, but not the art itself. And this is an important distinction.

Galleries’ discourse surrounding artworks, which typically pertain to their importance, is only one lens through which you can view that art. There are countless other lenses of interpretation: you will understand a piece differently from someone with an alternative context and experience. The gallery does not always facilitate a nuanced lens through which to understand the art, instead promoting a positively biased crash-course for works they have likely spent millions of dollars on acquiring and maintaining. The gallery, which represents a very niche sector of society with a clear agenda, has something important to say – but so do you.

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You might think you are taking on the system when you denounce art that you don’t like, but you are actually part of the problem. You reinforce the galleries’ narratives about art by perpetuating the notion that their ideas are the starting point from which all other narratives should take shape.

If you really want to dismantle the shroud of sanctity surrounding art that doesn’t speak to you, form your own opinion of the piece, rather than responding to the gallery’s narrative by simply boxing away the art as pretentious. The entire movement of Institutional Critique is dedicated to exactly this. Tony Bennett’s The Exhibitionary Complex (1988) explores how, by educating visitors, galleries simultaneously liberate audiences and demonstrate their own power. This Institutionally Critical text highlights the historical precedence of galleries’ sometimes ulterior motives in presenting themselves as authoritative, thus their narratives as absolute. Bennett and his contemporaries have been legitimately deconstructing galleries’ self-congratulatory and artcanonizing rhetoric for decades.

To be clear, galleries serve an important function and should not be altogether done away with. Yet, when so many members of the broader public become so infuriated by the institutionalisation of art and its apparent impenetrability, it is clear that galleries are not serving the public in the way they are intended to.

Redirecting your anger away from the art and towards the ego stoking representations created by the institutions in which that art resides allows you to enjoy the piece, whilst still critiquing its environment. Bare your feelings to the art world.

If you really hate Carl Andre’s piece because it just doesn’t appeal to you, that’s perfectly valid. But if you hate it because it’s in a gallery, don’t take it out on the piece: that is beyond its control.

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Before He Speak His Suit Bespoke

Maja Maric 50

Many of life’s great developments occur nonlinearly, with pendulum ups and downs an innate quality of the journey. The path to democracy, for instance. As well as the plot of ABC’s How to Get Away with Murder. But perhaps most gripping of all; the development of men’s fashion over time – and for the purposes of this article – especially within the past few years. Consider then, if you will, rather than analysing these developments with a tired and trite linearity; to ride those pendulum swings into a thematic breakdown of where exactly the fashion industry has progressed, as well as where it has regressed.

First stop: disappointments with Los Angeles based brand Fashion Nova. Known from their Instagram influencer borne fame – Fashion Nova has become synonymous with being the pinnacle of affordable yet sprinkled with just the right level of thottery, youth fashion. Cut to their April announcement of the beginnings of a men’s line.

Finally.

The chances for experimentation – men’s clothes with a body-con fit and crop tops galore were surely inbound, expectations were soaring for many.

Then the line dropped.

Camo hoodies. Two-tone camo pants. Trackies, bomber jackets, and flannels. Yeah, sure it was on brand, to an extent, but it wasn’t by any means revolutionary – where were the lace-ups? The sheer mesh blouses? A great opportunity for men’s fashion to take a dive into the more bimboic had presented itself, and it would have been spearheaded by none other than the current authority on such matters.

Not only would it have been accessible; it would’ve been a chance to normalise blurring the lines between masculine and feminine fashions for the common man. Instead – what was given to us might as well have been a collaboration with Culture Kings.

Tragic.

Similarly disappointing, although for different reasons, was the advent of the Romphim ™. Now, don’t get me wrong, what the Romphim ™ was trying to achieve was admirable. An expansion of the already very limited male wardrobe would’ve been spectacular – no longer would the average male partygoer have been limited to chinos and polos when in a fix for a quick fit. That is, if it wasn’t for the fact that the Romphim ™ was immediately met with complete and utter ridicule – from both

men and women. That ridicule proved that the homophobia and misogyny that underpins and limits the development of men’s fashion, to the point that there was a need to masculinise an already nonitem of clothing, was still ever present. And although the chance for the (needlessly) controversial item to seep into the mainstream exists, it still has a long way to go to acceptance if the aforementioned issues remain unaddressed.

On that note, let’s follow the pendulum midway – to a compromising and unsatisfying middle.

Sneakerhead culture and the recent explosion of male grooming: both safely straddling the boundary between what is acceptably masculine and potentially feminine. For as much as the female associated shoe obsession is ridiculed as a sign of superficiality and vapidness, similarly superfluous and exorbitant habits by self-proclaimed sneakerheads are seen as a cultural movement.

To be fair, women also participate in sneakerhead culture; but there is no denying it is still very much a boy’s club. So, while sneakerhead culture is not without its faults; it’s still allowing for the beginning of a more normalised and unapologetically fervent male interest in fashion.

Similarities exist with that of male grooming; which isn’t implicitly a part of the fashion world, but borders it enough to be included in this article.

While, once again, the masculinisation of nongendered products is needed to de-stigmatise the traditionally feminine, the male grooming industry is arguably even more progressive than the male fashion industry. From just simple aftershave, to beard oils, to moisturisers (for him), to pockets of male-targeted makeup items markets opening up here and there – the changes appear to be rapid and positive. Good grooming has almost come to be an expected signifier of a well-dressed man, and hopefully the momentum continues to spread beyond.

Finally, the pendulum swings up. Hope comes with the revival of “Queer Eye” – a show with a male fashion and beauty shell, encasing a care for the neglected self core. Queer Eye’s explosive popularity is a testament to the fact that there is progress occurring. While primary consumers of the show are arguably not the men who need it most, through incidental contact the show is able dispel societal myths that paint fashion and beauty as a frivolous feminine pursuit. “Queer Eye” shows the modern man how to grow and heal, a message direly needed in an age where masculinity is only just beginning to become in touch with its feminine side. The same can be said for giant fashion houses like Gucci and Moschino – pushing the envelope continuously on patterns and cuts for menswear. Although by price and practicality, the designs’ availability is limited, through fashion trickle down they are able t challenge the status quo. Finally men on the red carpet are beginning to experiment – from Stranger Things Gaten Matarazzo at the 2018 Emmys, to Chadwick Boseman and his ethereal outfit at the Met Gala. See Meryl Streep’s Cerulean monologue in The Devil Wears Prada for further notes on why this is definitely a thing.

Thus, although the average 21st man’s fashion is still alarmingly boring and safe - as sadly, no, a splash of floral does not count as being adventurous with patterns – times are changing. At the very least, the term metrosexual is not longer a thing. There are large waves of social movements working to dismantle long-held ideologies that hold men’s fashion captive, even if only chipping away at the edges. Stifling definitions of what is feminine and what is masculine are being re-examined, for the better. And hopefully at the end of it, men will be comfortably and completely able to bare what is on the inside, to be able to flourish on the outside.

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Cool Change The Small but Mighty Delight Rose Barton

There’s a quiet, dark arcade running off Barrack Street, with a despairing staircase half way down it.

With low expectations, I climbed to the first floor, where I was greeted with a bright white façade saying Gallery Open in an Yves Klein shade of blue, a literal light at the end of the tunnel.

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Image: Luisa Hansal, Larinda (still), 2018, performance documentation, 15:22

Cool Change Contemporary is one of Perth’s latest artist run initiatives, opening their doors only a few months ago after a publicly funded renovation of the run-down office space in Bon Marche Arcade.

Composed of three separate gallery spaces, Cool Change is a small but mighty delight: hosting exhibitions, performances, screenings, workshops and event as well as having an artist studio on site.

Cool Change, referring to the weather phenomenon, aims to critically engage audiences through art, whilst providing an accessible, welcoming environment. The initiative was begun by a group of Perth creatives, including visual artists, curators, musicians and writers, who noticed a gap in the Perth arts scene. Young emerging artists are often left without a space to continue to explore their work past their formal or informal education.

Cool Change aims to offer a leg up by providing a space for connection and collaboration. Where so many young creatives make the move interstate or internationally, keeping these valuable artists in Perth is critical to further developing the cultural fabric of our city.

Despite hosting multiple individual shows at a time, the connections between the different exhibitions are beautifully bizarre and communicate in a subtle way. From the recent set of September exhibitions, I was most captivated by the work of Luisa Hansal.

A video projection shows Louisa’s interactions with Larinda (2018), a dough replica of the artist, in a performance piece whereby she re-enacts her

physical movements and relations to her brother on the day of his death. Set to a both beautiful and eerie soundtrack, the work acknowledges the disconcerting, self-re-evaluation that comes with the death of a loved one. The material choice is poignant, the ephemeral nature of dough symbolising the eventual, inevitable death of all that is beautiful. Grieving death has a way of extending itself beyond those directly affected and I find myself grieving with her, perhaps for her brother, or for her, or for future deaths that will cross through my life. Hansal’s work is a display of connection and emotion between a living and non-living woman, which allows her to also explore the impermanence and fragility of the female body and restraints placed upon it by society.

Launched late September, the October exhibitions see Cool Change Contemporary further their array of peculiar, diverse art, featuring work by Matt Brown, VOLIM and Ash Tower. Expressions of interest are currently open for March- August 2019 and close midnight October 28th. So, if you’re an emerging artist who currently doesn’t feel there is a space for the presentation of your work or representation of your people, Cool Change is here to show you things are looking up, like a mild breeze on a hot summers night.

Cool Change Contemporary is located on the lands of the Whadjuk people of the Noongar nation at 1F Bon Marche Arcade Building, 78-84 Barrack Street, Perth..

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It’s Time to Talk About the TERF Problem in Pride Ishita Mathur

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If I’m being totally honest, I’ve taken my time writing this. For the uninitiated, TERF stands for Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist, and they have long been a nuisance in the feminist movement worldwide. The presence of TERFs and transphobia within the Pride Department is not news, especially for those involved in the Guild. It is however a persisting problem that has led to the Department having a reputation for being unwelcoming to old and new LGBT+ students, especially trans and nonbinary ones. And worst of all, these harmful attitudes are now manifesting in our Women’s Department too.

There are lots of reasons why the problem has not been called out in a substantial way in the past.

Firstly, since the Pride Department is autonomous and largely separate from the agendas and inner workings of the Guild, many Guild members feel like it’s not their place to be calling out bad behaviour, especially when those members aren’t LGBT+ themselves. This makes sense since intracommunity conversations should be left to the community members, and in a university context LGBT+ students should get to make their own representation and have the agency to make their own decisions irrespective of which party is in power.

But conversely this also means that you need to be in the group to vote for a concrete change in its culture, which ultimately means that those who feel unwelcome or uncomfortable are going to find it significantly harder to engage and participate with the Department and its spaces. In addition, the LGBT+ community is small, especially on campus, which means so many friendship networks are firmly enmeshed within the Department. It is difficult to stand up to strangers, but it is arguably even more difficult to stand up to friends or mutual friends, especially when they are your sole support system or form the basis of your only safe spaces.

Secondly, a lot of people just don’t know how to call out transphobia in these spaces. Often transphobes are armed with rhetoric that obfuscates their true opinions, make them into the victims, and counter simple talking points with academic jargon that

ignores the basic empathy required to make spaces accessible and welcoming. Transphobes often think their transphobia ties in with feminist ideologies which can be genuinely alarming and confusing especially to young feminists who are still trying to understand the movement and its modes of analysis.

They also believe that trans people are somehow out there to attack them simply by the virtue of existing when, in reality, it is the bigotry of TERFs that makes the lives of trans people difficult and painful.

In my own personal case, I must admit that I felt scared of confronting TERFs. I had long heard of the way they made life difficult for students in university spaces who called them out, or the way they harassed trans women and their supporters online. Having said that, I am now older and more comfortable with my understanding of feminism, and I no longer think fear is a good enough reason to stay silent. Although I may be afraid, I am not trans and I will never face the consequences for speaking out in the way a trans or non-binary person would. As a cisgender person, it is my obligation to call in my fellow cis folk for their harmful transphobic values and attitudes. It’s clear that I cannot wait for Guild members to make concrete policies and decisions that show that transphobia is unacceptable in Department spaces. I also cannot sit down and be silent as the transmisogyny of Pride seeps into the Women’s Department too. To be a bystander and allow other women and non-binary people to be hurt in front of me is callous and irresponsible behaviour.

For the record, a few things in this article are not up for debate. Firstly, non-binary people who say that they are trans are absolutely trans. Secondly, trans women are women. Thirdly, all women (trans or otherwise) and non-binary people are allowed access to the Women’s Department, its spaces, and its services as enshrined by Guild policies. This article is not here to provide you a play by play account of what being trans is or why trans people should be respected and given safe spaces, if for no reason other than the fact that I am not a trans person and not the authority on this subject. If you want to know more, there are already plenty of articles out there

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written by trans people on the subject. Google it!

The reason why this article is being written is because of several incidents of transphobia and transmisogyny in the Women’s Department. Firstly, as part of my work in Women’s last year, I wrote a set of guidelines on the Women’s Room whiteboard to establish codes of conduct. Some of them were fairly simple such as ‘clean up after yourselves!’ and ‘don’t lock the door!’ Others, however, were about the level of respect and feminist consciousness expected in the room, including the phrase, “trans women are women.” Over the course of the year, the guidelines were defaced multiple times with the transmisogynistic phrase, “trans women are men.” Despite myself and other Women’s Room visiting students replacing the original statement in permanent marker, the vandalism continued.

This sent a cruel message to any trans women in the room: your identity is a lie, and you are not welcome in this room. It says that despite you doing nothing to harm or disrespect me, I still believe your very existence is an affront to me and I will now harm and disrespect you. It speaks of entitlement and gatekeeping in a space which is meant to be safe for all women and non-binary people. It is emblematic of the kind of attitudes that sustain white feminism; the same attitudes which have led to the continued relevance of Germaine Greer in Australian feminist spaces and the persistent transmisogyny in Reclaim the Night.

These attitudes are not benign, and often are precursors to acts of violence, which is exactly what happened earlier this year. During Guild elections, a non-binary person of colour was harassed in front of witnesses for simply sitting in the Women’s Room, reducing them to tears. This individual said that nonbinary people existing within the Women’s Room was ‘disrespectful’ despite being technically allowed.

When TERFs say that non-binary people are being disrespectful by existing in women’s spaces, who is this disrespect aimed at? Non-binary people have no material power over cis women in any way, nor are they breaking any rules by using

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Women’s Department spaces and resources. These kinds of statements assume that gender is linked to genitalia, ironically defining women by their reproductive organs in a way that feminism has tried to decry for years. These statements state that only women, specifically those with vaginas, can access the resources provided by the Guild. It is also a remarkably white, colonial view of gender – one which views it as a black and white binary when so many cultures of colour around the world have nonbinary and third genders. It ignores the realities of the complex system of patriarchy and confuses those who benefit from it and who are punished by it. But most of all, it lacks empathy, which is the basis of all progressive thought, and dehumanises and others people for no reason other than malice.

I end this article by imploring my fellow cis people to not let bad behaviour slide. Call out transphobic attitudes, even if it is your friends who are espousing them. Educate yourselves so you can better educate others. Stand up for trans and non-binary people in meaningful ways if you see them being harassed. By doing nothing, you allow the mistreatment of trans and non-binary people to continue. To all trans and non-binary people: you are welcome in university spaces. I am sorry we have let you down for so long. I am sorry for my silence. We will do better.

Merchants of Death are not Captains of Science Lifting the Veil of Disguise Tony Li

Recently, a campaign called ‘Books Not Bombs’ caught considerable public attention. It demanded that UWA stop research projects related to warfare (namely, a drone project by the engineering department) and threatened to cut connections with the military and arms manufacturers.

In response, the University Engineers Club (UEC) started a petition against this campaign. Some of my friends signed this petition.

Friend 1: “I believe that it prevents the pursuit of knowledge to be against multipurpose research,

even though it has the potential to be used for immoral means.”

I agreed with her. Although a pacifist, it is still impossible for my wide idealistic eyes to see the prevention of scientific research as a good thing.

It is true that a number of technologies, such as computers, came into civilian use after being developed with military purposes in mind. Also, drones today already have strong potential for a wide range of civilian applications, which further weakens the case against researching into them.

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However, Friend 2, a very intelligent (ie: better than me in maths) guy stated: “Just look at what came out of WWII! When did you last use a computer or superglue? Or be thankful for the existence of jet engines or radar?... And WWI was the same. All this stuff exploring the electromagnetic spectrum so that we can send little voice messages through the air - why even bother. The word “radio” will never catch on - and no way would the technology be extended to allow you to transfer all sorts of information like some kind of sci-fi wi-fi network. Pffft war”.

Friend 3 agreed: “A lot of technological progress happened in the times of wars, which has in the long run lead to massive benefits to society overall”.

This conversation, together with days of webbrowsing suggested to me that ‘war benefits technological and scientific progress’ is a widelycirculated and accepted thesis.

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Indeed, you can find some examples in history that seemingly support this statement: inventions such as radio, computer, jet engine, GPS and more were first adopted by the military, but later came into civilian use--some even became indispensable in our daily lives. However, for the thesis to be true, it needs much better evidence than a rather arbitrary list of familiar technologies that happened to be adopted by the military in their early stages. We need vigorous academic studies—and indeed such studies have been done.

A recently published article in Quarterly Journal of Economics by Iaria et al. showcased a quantitative study on the impact of World War I on scientific research output. It showed us a conclusion with stark contrast to the “war benefits technological progress” story: that scientific research has had a significant negative impact from WWI, in both fundamental research and technological application.

The outbreak of WWI led to dramatic reduction in the research paper output across all fields of scientific study for all major scientific powers. For example, US biochemists had a productivity decline of about 30% (0.15 less papers per year for each biochemist), and the Italian physicists published 55% less papers per year (0.27 less papers per year for each physicist) compared to the pre-war period.

The quality of published scientific research also deteriorated. Papers published after 1914 were less likely to be cited by later researches, indicating less scientific value. Discoveries made in those studies were also less likely to be mentioned in future patents, indicating less value in practical applications. Interestingly, the more prominent a scientist was pre-war, the sharper their decline in productivity.

Laria et al. argued that the breakdown of scientific communication between countries after the outbreak of WWI was a major factor leading to the decline in worldwide research output, as scientists no longer had access to new discoveries (frontier research) made in hostile countries. The breakdown in international science took decades to recover.

For example, the International Research Council, founded by Allied countries, only stopped boycotting scientists from Central countries in 1926.

However, this is not the only way wars have negatively affected scientific researches. Human and physical capitals are essential for conducting

researches, and war by its nature destroys both. I believe this is fairly intuitive given what we know about wars.

A 2016 study by Waldinger investigated the impact of WWII on German and Austrian research institutions: the purge of Jewish academics crippled a number of research institutions (David Hilbert remarked that the Mathematical Institute ceased to exist after the purge of Jews), and Allied strategic bombing raids resulted in significant damage to research facilities in the later stages of WWII. Waldinger concluded that the loss of human capital (represented by number of Jewish staffs removed by the Nazis) had a long-term (lasting significantly until the 1980s) adverse effect on the research output of universities. On the other hand, destruction of research facilities had a smaller, shorter-lived negative impact on research output than loss of human capital.

The case today might differ slightly: Waldinger suggested that impact from physical destruction would likely be worse today, as recent scientific researches often require increasingly expensive and sophisticated equipment that might not be easily replaceable.

Back on the human capital side, a 1995 study by Imbens and Klaauw in Netherlands showed that ex-servicemen were less successful in their career compared to their peers who did not serve. An US study on Vietnam war veterans showed similar findings.

None of the above studies considered the loss of human capital to casualties, which cannot be ignored for a major war claiming thousands, if not millions of lives. How many talented minds were lost? How many fallen soldiers and slaughtered civilians could have contributed for the betterment of humanity?

We will never know, for that very possibility was denied in the bloodshed.

It’s already impossible to know what impressive feats Henry Moseley could have achieved, if he was not killed on the beaches of Gallipoli.

So, the conclusion seems to be fairly straightforward.

For me, at least.

Pffft war, unironically.

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After Archy and Mehitabel

by Don Marquis Aimee Dodds

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s

there is a prominent woman in one of my classes that hand writes her notes all the while looking over the top of her not quite horn rimmed glasses anyway the book has lines in it and this lady she chooses to ignore the lines and scrawl her writing over three or four of them at once and well boss I think she does it to feel important like her ideas are too big to be contained within the rigidity of the page well if you are reading this debby perhaps you could explain your philosophy but i do not think that debby is the type of lady who would read this magazine she probably prefers vogue living or such that she gets delivered to her mezzanine bungalow for the convenient price of one hundred and forty nine ninety five a year exclamation point

often debby seems a specimen and not a woman i could watch her as if she were a scarab beetle in a dessert bowl boss you could film a documentary on the insignificances that slumber in that incommensurable fairy floss scribble of hers and sell it to a streaming company with an accompanying interview for the once off convenient price of two thousand nine hundred and thirty three dollars exclamation point yet you might only be able to show the film in foreign countries or else debby very well may turn iridescent and erupt with dizzy satisfaction on the fact that some other human being agrees on the necessity of her ideas and the juiciness of her hieroglyphics

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BARE Poetry Connor Brown

Watering the Well The diving suit is down stairs with the grave-digger.

It needed cleaning today.

The mirror cannot reflect and there is no water for years.

His shift is just starting.

I’ve left the money on the counter, the soil by the barn is driest.

I will keep pretending to sleep.

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Arthur River They found the body in the blue-carpeted barroom, termites burrowing into back bones, having finished the wooden walls.

All the tables are set but Arthur River is dry this year, it’s mouth is full of salt. the body reminds them, the wheat will need water.

The barroom is cool and quiet, so they do not cover the body, they are sure no customers will call.

Butcher’s Shop The butcher told me he didn’t believe Neptune was real.

I asked if he thought the moons still circled in empty space, ‘only Thalassa,’ he responded, ‘I can see it from my living room.’

He went back to slicing the shoulder I ordered, ‘dirty meat you’re eating,’ he told me, ‘pork is like human flesh, practice for cannibals.’

I stood staring down at the meats arrayed in front of me, ‘do you think they eat people on Thalassa?’

‘Definitely,’ he said as he pulled the fat off the shoulder, ‘so far from the sun, makes them violent, not like us though, beef is much better, I’ll get you beef.’

‘No,’ I smiled to the ceiling, ‘pork is fine.’

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pelican cookbook 64

Edamame & Mushrooms Dumplings | Joy Er

Red Chicken Casserole | Bianca van der Spuy

RED CHICKEN CASSEROLE

GARLIC AND GINGER CHICKEN RICE

Bianca van der Spuy

Shafira Jumantara

There are many, many things one can do with chicken.

Personally, this is my favourite way to serve it: steaming hot, marinated in a rich reddish sauce, and wonderfully tender from the vinegar and the long cooking time.

This recipe is definitely my comfort food during the cold season here. It’s easy and cheap, and of course, fool proof! I usually make this food at night after I finished the day, and eat them before bed—I know, food before bed sounds so lazy but this is my comfort food! Also, I always leave a half portion and put them in the fridge for the next day. You can even invite your friends over to eat together. On a side note, the ginger and the garlic are good for your immune system especially during the cold season.

It also has the distinction of being one of my favourite ‘winter warmer’ meals. The sauce is not overbearingly spicy, but it does add something of a delightfully subtle kick of flavour and warmth to the dish. Pair it with a blanket and your favourite book or movie, and it’s downright cosy!

INGREDIENTS: INGREDIENTS: •

Shop-bought whole roast chicken

•

OR 4 chicken breasts or equivalent weight of other pieces

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(Optional: chopped carrots, potato, peas, or any other vegetables to your taste.)

Sauce: •

250 mL tomato sauce

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125 mL water

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50 mL fruit chutney

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25 mL brown malt vinegar

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15 mL Worcestershire sauce

•

15 mL paprika

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5 mL mustard powder

INSTRUCTIONS:

•

Chicken 4 pieces

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Garlic 1 bulb

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Ginger 1 ½ thumbs

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Rice 1 cup

•

Water 8 cup

•

Sesame oil 2 tbsp

•

Vegetable oil 5 tbsp

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Pepper 1 tsp

•

Salt

INSTRUCTIONS: •

Punch ¾ bulb of garlic and the ginger. Put them in the pot along with the rice and the water. Boil in small fire for an hour and let it sit for sometime (you can let it sit until up to overnight to reach the strong taste of the garlic and ginger).

•

Put 4 cups of the chicken broth and the rice into the rice cooker or microwave, let it cook.

•

Heat a small pan, put the oils and let it boiled.

Put the remaining garlic (minced) into the oil and lower the heat. Take away from the heat after the garlic turns soggy (or crispy, just as you like).

Serve the rice, the chicken, and the garlic oil in one plate, and the remaining broth in a separate bowl.

•

Preheat oven to 180 degrees Celsius.

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Cook all chicken/Remove all meat from roast chicken and chop into pieces. (Cook vegetables).

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Place everything into a casserole dish.

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Combine all sauce ingredients together in a mixing bowl and stir until it comes together.

•

•

Pour over chicken pieces, ensuring everything is covered.

NUMBER OF SERVES:

•

Cook in an oven for 30-45 minutes.

•

Serve hot.

NUMBER OF SERVES:

2 TOTAL COST OF INGREDIENTS: Chicken $4 + Garlic $1 + Ginger $0.5 + Rice $1 + Oils, salt, pepper $2 = $8.5

4-6 TOTAL COST OF INGREDIENTS: Approximately $2.45 per serve 65

EDAMAME & MUSHROOMS DUMPLINGS

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Put the thawed edamame, 8 shitake mushrooms, salt, spring onion olive oil and ginger in blender and blend until thick, firm paste consistency. This will be the filling for the dumplings. It shouldn’t be crumbly but not too liquidy either.

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Place about 2 tsp of filling in middle of wrapper and fold the wrapper diagonally forming a triangle shape. Use fork to seal the wrapper.

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To cook the dumplings, place in a pot of boiling water. Dumpling is cooked when they float on top of the pot.

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Cut the remaining 2 shitake mushrooms in thin slices. Serve dumpling with the mushroom and vegetable broth. Garnish with sliced mushrooms, edamame beans and spring onion.

JOY ER

I had this dish in a popular vegetarian restaurant when I was in Santa Monica and loved it so much that I decided to recreate the dish. The original dish contains truffle but I have substituted it to shitake mushrooms to be more budget friendly.

I love this dish as it’s simple to make, can be made in advanced and frozen as back up for busier seasons such as exams. It is also vegetarian friendly and edamame is high in protein.

INGREDIENTS: •

Frozen edamame – 500g

•

Dried shitake mushroom – 10 pieces

•

Ginger – thumbsize chunk

•

Spring onion – 2 pieces

•

Water – 2 cups

•

Vegetable stock – 1/2 cup

•

Soy sauce – 4 tbsp

•

Sugar – 3 tbsp

•

Salt – 1 tsp

•

Olive oil – 1/4 to 1/2 cup

•

Wonton wrappers

INSTRUCTIONS:

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•

In a medium sized pot, soak dried shitake mushrooms with 2 cups of water and let it simmer for about 15 minutes until mushroom is soft. Take out 8 mushrooms and squeeze dry the liquid.

Keep the remaining broth.

•

Defrost the frozen edamame in microwave for 1-2 minutes.

•

Cut the root part of spring onion for the broth and remaining for the dumpling filling. Place the spring onion root, mushroom broth, sugar, soy sauce and vegetable stock in pot to simmer for 15 mins.

*Dumplings and broth can be made in advanced and frozen. To freeze, put cling wrap in between to prevent them from sticking together. Just put the frozen dumplings straight into boiling water. No need to thaw beforehand.

NUMBER OF SERVES: 4-6 serves (~ 30 dumplings) TOTAL COST OF INGREDIENTS: <$12

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