Faisal Hamza

Remembering the 724 BC Olympic Games

FaisaL hamza

I’m thinking of that special time of leap year. The Great War of the East had been respectfully suspended. Personal beefs, like my feud with Aegeus regarding my livestock count, had been put on hold. Bandits and mercenaries took a break of honour for people to safely make their way. People of all creeds and classes gathered eagerly, for the love of the game, and to avoid committing sacrilege against the great Zeus. Else, you would be struck by lightning, and guaranteed a barren crop.

Of course, I’m talking about the 724 BC Olympic Games.

There were some big names competing that year. Desmon, of the proud village Corinth, was the favourite to take the stadion. It would be the second win in a row for Corinth, who had not stopped blabbering on about it. Notably absent was their victor from the previous games, Diokles, whom naturally Desmon had to slay in order to compete. Not one to be counted out, the famed nude runner Orsippos, feeling confident that year, had been separated within the village from Leandros of Messenia - who famously commented, “(it’s) easy to run nude when there are few prohibitions below the belt. Do you get it? I mean his di-”. He was unable to finish due to a strike from Orsippos. Naturally, all the competitors were Greek, as it should’ve remained. Apologies, (but not apologies) to the pesky Roman riff-raff.

Yet, we mustn’t forget those who couldn’t make it. The hopeless competitors that were weeded out in trials of strength and endurance to qualify for the games. To the masses, they were but no-names unworthy of our attention. But cousin Decius attempted to qualify that year. We miss him every day.

As the crowd of men and unmarried women piled in, the atmosphere was electric with news of the number of events doubling that year. Now, on top of the stadion, we were also witness to the great dialous. A foot race double(!) the length of the stadion. Some considered it excessive, but I welcomed the change. Hypenos of Elis was my favourite to take the cake, as his leg length was the most impressive of all the competitors. Although, the leg length and calf girth of Akanthos of Sparta was not to be ignored, his blue eyes suggesting blessings of agility.

Things were off to a shaky start after news of the sacrifice of Gregorios of Dyspontium. Allegedly, he was caught snorting a magic potion within the Olympic village. The people of Dyspontium were distraught not to see one of their own amongst the games. Zeus was most displeased. The farmers were particularly distressed, due to what had already been a turbulent few years of drought. The fair land of Dyspontium was never quite the same.

Nonetheless, the games offered the spectacle they promised. As I’d suspected, Desmon won the stadion with ease, and the leg length of Hypenos proved to be too great. Both men looked smug in their crowns of leaves, and the celebratory feast in the Prytaneion was as grand as could’ve been predicted. Amongst the celebration, I caught sight of that thieving scum Aegeus, but in the spirit of the games, I withheld my knife. The same could not be said for the walk home.

Now, I can only dream of the days where less was more and the big names were all interesting (and Greek). Although times are not always easy, I’ll always have the fond memories of the 724 BC Olympic games to keep me going.