Kobi A short story navigating projections.
Valerie Taranto
1 Kobi decided he would pick up the speakers himself. Milo’s mind is erratic, he likely would not remember to retrieve the sound system from their seemingly lackadaisical owner that they sought out on Craigslist. Anyways, it was Saturday and he did not have much to do. He was awaiting his acceptance, or denial, into the refugee affairs graduate program at Humboldt University to begin the following Fall season. The wheels on his skateboard slide and the tail of the board scratches against the gum-spotted pavement as he halts at the intersection and presses the crosswalk button to cross the street. As the two-tone sound of the button is continuously replaying under the pressure of his fingertip, he hears the memory of an older woman chiding him “you know you only have to press it one time.” Kobi continues to press the button repeatedly, partially out of boredom and partially with the intent to spite her. As he begins to skate further down the street, Kobi questions if he is going to be able to carry the speaker set alone. He knows Milo will appreciate him picking up the set for their apartment but still Kobi wonders if Milo fully processes the ratio of favors in their relationship. Relationships do not have a scoreboard, Kobi reminds himself. He is going to have to generate some extraordinary mechanism for carrying this set with just a skateboard. Emilia would tease him about this- she would’ve planned this excursion before having left the house. She always used to mention how she appreciated his nonchalant approach to existence. Kobi felt a reminiscent warmth of the thought of her. Emilia was dynamic. She felt refreshing to be around, especially after Leon. And Henry. Both were too similar to himself. Except while Henry and himself had a similar taste in music, they did not appreciate music in the same way. Henry viewed music as the background to his life- just something to listen to. “Maybe I don’t really wanna know how your garden grows.” Cars whizz by at a speed 30 miles an hour faster than his skateboard is capable of, as evident by the dented speed limit sign that he just passed by. The sound of the hustling cars, posing a contrast to his lax skating style that he would like to think is not inspired by, but derived completely independent of his endless admiration for Jay Adams, prompt his thoughts back to his location and present moment. “Lately, did you ever feel the pain.” Noel Gallagher’s lyrics continue in his ears.
2 Kobi wonders what condition the speakers are in, the Craigslist owner gave off an impression that felt disconcerning to Kobi and Milo yet intriguing and not worrisome enough to prevent them from belatedly obtaining the beloved sound set they had so longingly been desiring for their own apartment. He is amused with the colors of city and architectured nature around him. The thought of Oasis being at last played through stereos and not through his nearly ripped in half wire headphones stretches a grin across his face. 723. That is the house number, Kobi hesitates but decides to trust his instinct. 681. 687. 693. He reads the numbers of the houses that are visible from the double yellow lines painted on the asphalt that he is rolling towards as his focus drifts towards his destination and away from his journey. “I think you’re the same as me, we’ll see things they’ll never see.” The apartment complex reminds him of the building in West Berlin that his parents still live in. Kobi looks up at the building, gazing at the balconies adorned with the various lifestyles of the inhabitants. The structure towers over him as he walks toward the buzzer. He presses the button next to the name “Mandelbaum” Three rings play an unsettling yet familiar pitch before he hears “Hello?” in a faint accent which he cannot decipher to be either British or Irish. “Hi, this is Kobi, I am here to pick up the speakers you listed on Craigslist.” “Oh yes! Come up.” replies the accent. Standing in the elevator looking at his infinite reflection through the mirror layered cube, he sees the slightly worn-in shoes that Henry had given him while they were together. The lift ascends two more floors and his skateboard wobbles under his loose grip. They reach the fifth floor and the sliding doors open to a wall painted deep red. To the left, the door is labeled 501. There is a tricycle sized for a toddler, and a family of old shoes tossed outside the door. Kobi turns to the door on his right side with 502 marked in the center
3 above the glass peephole. There are no belongings set outside the door. Just before he is about to knock, a man slightly taller than his own stature opens the door. The man declares his name is Liam, Liam Mandelbaum. Under his black Radiohead t-shirt, celtic tattoos cover what is visible of his arms. There is poem written on his arm that Kobi recognizes to be the one the William Ernest Henley wrote on his deathbed. ‘How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.’ Kobi introduces himself. “Let me grab the set for you.” Liam’s voice echoes through the empty hallway and Kobi notices the building’s tall ceilings. He debates whether or not he should step inside the apartment, but sees Liam already carrying the speakers towards him. Seeing the size of the stereos, he presumes he can stack both of them on his skateboard. Their apartment is relatively close by. “How far do you have to carry these?” Liam asks, looking down at Kobi’s skateboard. The way Liam looked at Kobi made him feel transparent. It reminded him of the way Kobi’s father could read his mind. Even when he felt all of his cards were only facing him. He appreciated that there was someone in the universe that could understand him so well, yet the resemblance of Liam to his father was uncomfortable, and he knew Liam could see that uncomfortability in his eyes. “I can handle it. It was 50 right?” asks Kobi as he reaches in his pocket for the cash, Kobi says, suddenly wanting to make the interaction short, and attempting to show as little emotion as possible, deflecting any vulnerability he could expose. He stacked both stereos onto his skateboard, leaving just enough space for one foot. Liam laughs, saying “treat ‘em well mate,” as he shuts the door. With one hand rested on top of the stereos, and one foot on the board, he rolls into the lift. Kobi decides not to listen to music on the way back to the apartment. The fresh air brushes his hair back, he takes in the smell of freshly blossoming trees. He feels as if he just emerged out of a cave as he exits the building. People are everywhere. They are mingling outside at cafes. They are walking along the river. The weather had been starting to
4 warm up over the past few weeks and the spring weather completes this bliss of the beautiful Saturday, exciting everyone for the release and relaxation of summer in Berlin. Rolling past the life bustling around him, he remembers the Saturday mornings as a child he used to spend with his mother exploring and learning about the city with her. She was spontaneous and each week was a new adventure, but every Saturday was always reserved for just the two of them. She had grown up in socialist East Berlin and embraced the freedom of exploring all ends of the city. Kobi was thankful for the free-spirited energy that his mother had passed down to him. “Treat ‘em well mate.” echoes in his head. Arriving at their East Berlin apartment, he sees Milo’s keychain on the counter. He must have just arrived at home. Milo had been struggling to find a job in recent years, yet he always kept his days busy, out and about in the city. He struggles to find one passion to hone in on as a career- his issue is he has too many passions. Once he starts one thing, he gets side-tracked with another. He found that jobs were a challenge to find on his own, an unexpected consequence of the fall of the Soviet Union Party’s socialist control over East Germany. He hears Milo and Lena laughing in Milo’s room as he struggles to set the speakers down in their common room. He notices Milo’s bedroom door is obtusely open as the front door slams behind him. “I picked up the set,” “Ah! Finally!” He hears Milo jump up and scurry to the living room. Lena tails behind him. She walks as if she is floating, her feet seeming to barely touch the ground. Milo’s intricately detailed mermaid tattoo shows as he reaches to pull Lena closer to him. Kobi is already setting up the speakers, anxious to hear the sound quality before a decision is made on where they should be placed. He chooses “Supersonic” by Oasis. The beat of the drums vibrate off the walls in the flat. He walks towards the refrigerator, satisfied and relaxed at the sound. He grabs three beers from the fridge, using the bottle opener they got from the convenience store down the street to open each of them and hands one to Milo and Lena. “Oh, this song again” Lena says through a laugh. Kobi looks up at Lena, but does not say anything in reply. Milo met her while she was working at a cafe, and Kobi questions why their relationship ever went further than that interaction. Both Milo and Kobi’s parents are originally from Britain but that was in the 1950’s.
5 Presently, their tie to the UK is merely their overlapping taste for British rock bands. Neither of them play an instrument, nor can they sing, but they have often discussed how it feels as if they are in a band together- maybe not wanting to admit the codependency of their friendship. “I wish you would just try to appreciate this a bit more,” he hears himself say to Henry at the park around the block, playing Live Forever through his headphones. “I would love to know what you think.” Lena does not seem to have the same appreciation for life, or music, as they do. Milo and himself love musicians for their capability to translate the human experience into words. They care passionately about words and how they are used. Kobi felt a wall in between Henry and himself when he realized the lack of understanding between their music tastes was a lack of understanding between them. He was sure the same thing would happen between Lena and Milo. The light is shining through the window at sharp angles, casting geometrical shadows on their furniture. The trees outside sway in the wind and a ray of light shines across Kobi’s face. He feels concealed under the sunlight’s warmth, but is aware of his prominent visibility. He stiffened watching Lena and Milo together on the couch in the living room. He felt jealous. Kobi would die for his beliefs and wanted the people around him to cherish every emotion as well, feeling from their hearts. Apathetic is the worst characteristic someone can represent he thought. When Kobi and Milo became friends, they were focused on their shared romantic sense towards the world and everything they saw around them. When they became roommates, they were intrepid. He wondered if Milo felt cheated on when he was dating Emilia. “Thanks for picking up the set mate” says Liam.