iSSUE 1101 May 10 - 16, 2018

news

Countdown to Restaurant Week Page 05

REAL ESTATE

EVENTS

A Live/Work Dream

Jim Lee with all the Pride Events

Page 14

Page 16

VallartaTribune.com

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May 10 - 16, 2018 Year 21 Free Issue 1101

CROSSWORD paGE 22

VALLARTA SHOPPING paGES 18-19

Map of Banderas Bay 12 - 13

artwalk

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GALERIA DE OLLAS

May 10 - 16, 2018 www.vallartatribune.com

Mata Ortiz Pottery

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EFREN QUEZADA LYDIA QUEZADA

Mapa/Map - Visita sin guías / Self guided tour 13

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Centro, Hidalgo 424 01 (322) 223 5476 Ro’Wo Interiores • Marina Vallarta Plaza Neptuno No. A-1 01 (322) 22 122 58 arterowo@hotmail.com www.rowogaleria.com

Historic Center

CORONA 176 1

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Wednesdays • Miércoles 6 - 10 pm GUADALUPE SÁNCHEZ 858

MIR 4

galeriapetraluna@gmail.com

ALDAMA

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ELOS

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+52322.1589914 sales@lod.com.mx www.lod.com.mx

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Main Square

ESTACIONAMIENTO

MALECÓ

Origen y Destino

Nostalgia

Come Piedras

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Unicornio

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Neptuno y Nereida

Rotonda del mar

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En busca de la razón

Caballito

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Arte Contemporáneo de México

CENTRO Leona Vicario 230 Col. Centro • +52 322 222 1198 ROMANTIC ZONE Venustiano Carranza 307 Col. Emiliano Zapata +52 322 688 2127 Puerto Vallarta • México

Aldama No. 174 • Centro 2nd Floor / Piso Tel.: (322) 222 1982 Fax: (322) 222 5502 www.galeriapacifico.com galeriapacifico@gmail.com

FINE ART GALERIA

ZARAGOZA

www.galeriapetraluna.com

INTERNATIONAL

ITURBIDE

T. 322 2233 490

CORONA 176 - A

galería (322) 222 6353

MINA

Guadalupe Sánchez 803-A Puerto Vallarta Jal. Centro

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CORONA

RIO LEONA VICA

Contemporary ceramics

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PÍPILA

Galería

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MÍNGUEZ

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petra luna

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E-MAIL: PEYOTEPEOPLE@YAHOO.COM

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J. O. DE DO

CENTRO · PUERTO VALLARTA, JAL.

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ESTRELLA SILVEIRA

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LOFT

ata Ortiz is a small village in Chihuahua State. There, over 300 of the villagers are creating the most beautiful, individually designed and handcrafted works of pottery being produced anywhere.

Galeria de Ollas has been dedicated to showcase pieces from the best artists of Mata Ortiz since 1998. In this article I present hightlights of three artists whose pieces are now being exhibited in the gallery among many others.

LYDIA QUEZADA Lydia Quezada has always been recognized as one of the best ceramist of Mata Ortiz. Her most beautiful pieces are black on black works in which she burnishes part of the piece to get a shiny surface, paints elegant lines from top to bottom and leaves the rest of the piece matte finish.

She learned from his brother Juan Quezada the art of pottery making on the 70´s when he started to be recognized in museums and important galleries. Her two children Paula and Moroni inherited her artistic gene.

EFREN (“EL POLLO”) QUEZADA I talked to Guille, his mother in order to get information about this fantastic artist. He learned to make pots from The Master, Juan Quezada, his father. At the beginning Efren said he could not make pots but his father urged him to learn: “You can do it” he said, “ you just have to try harder”. And he did. His new way to form pieces, with big, dramatic cuts on them show the expertise he acquired in the handling of the clay. He is also an expert in the use of the brush when he paints perfect geometrical designs.

ESTRELLA SILVEIRA Her parents thought her the ceramic art and she learned and innovated it.

She forms big perfect striking pieces not using a potter´s wheel.

After burnishing the piece she paints and carves very small and delicate nature´s designs.

A non-profit dedicated to contemporary art.

Juárez 598 · Col. Centro Tel. (322).222.0541 opcvallarta@gmail.com

www.oficinacultural.org

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welcome

Welcome to Puerto Vallarta and Riviera Nayarit

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t the Tribune we want you to have the best experience possible while you explore Puerto Vallarta, the Bay of Banderas and Riviera Nayarit. Here are some helpful tips for traveling.

TIME ZONE: The entire state of Jalisco is on Central Time, as is the southern part of the State of Nayarit starting from San Blas in the north.

BUSES: A system of urban buses with different routes can bring you from one end of the bay to the other and all the spots in between. If you’re going further than San Pancho, head to the main bus terminal to catch a ‘Pacifico’ bus. Current fare is 7.50 pesos and passengers must purchase a new ticket every time they board another bus. There are no “transfers.”

TAXIS: There are set rates within defined zones of town. Do not enter a taxi without agreeing on the price with the driver first. Make a note of the taxi number in case you leave something behind. Drivers typically do not carry change.

UBER: New in 2017 to Puerto Vallarta, Uber is still experiencing some growing pains particularly in the state of Nayarit. Uber is about 25-50% cheaper than a taxi, but this is subject to change. The benefits of using Uber are set fares and the ability to follow up directly with your driver if there is an incident or you leave an item behind.

MONEY EXCHANGE: Typically a bank will give you a higher rate of exchange than the exchange booths (Caja de Cambio). You will need your passport. Better yet, use your bank card to withdraw funds from any ATM. Note that ATM’s in the banks are the safest to use and charge lower fees.

DRINKING WATER: While Puerto Vallarta’s water has been

awarded a certification of purity for the past two decades, the quality of the water tested at the source varies greatly from what comes out of the tap at the other end. So do be careful. If you want to be doubly sure, you can pick up bottled water just about anywhere.

EXPORTING PETS: Falling in love with the street dog outside your hotel is easy to do and it’s also easy to bring them home with you too. The process is inexpensive and only takes a day or two. You need a certificate of health from a local vet among other things. For the most up-to-date information contact the Puerto Vallarta SPCA at spcapv@ gmail.com.

COMMON SENSE: Just as you wouldn’t walk around your hometown drunk and belligerent, it is not acceptable to do that here. While Mexico is a tolerant culture, basic politeness is appreciated. Don’t pee in the streets. Don’t flash your money or expensive gadgets. Pay attention to your surroundings.

Know where you are going. Pay your bills (and don’t forget to tip).

And have fun!

DRINKING AND DRIVING: First off – just don’t. The consequences are not worth it. Taxis or Ubers are cheap and plentiful. Fines are as much as 12,000 pesos. You can be taken to jail and your vehicle impounded. There are many checkstops on the weekends, and you will be asked to blow if they suspect you have been drinking.

LEGAL SYSTEM: Not knowing the law is not a valid excuse in Mexico, or anywhere. If you find yourself caught in a legal situation be aware that guilt is presumed until your innocence can be proven.

This is a very difficult lesson to learn if you are visiting from the United States or Canada. Immediately contact your consulate for assistance.

Director Noemi Zamora noemizamorareynoso@gmail.com Editor Lic. Madeline Milne mmilne@Vallartatribune.com Sales Team editor@vallartatribune.com Designer Cynthia E. Andrade G. cysandra@gmail.com Web Manager Rachel Drinkcard Racheldrinkcard@gmail.com

May 10 - 16, 2018 www.vallartatribune.com

Calling in Mexico Calling phones in Mexico can be tricky. There are different codes you need to use depending if you are calling landlines or cellular phones and if they are local or long distance.

LONG-DISTANCE CALLS FROM WITHIN MEXICO For national long-distance calls (within Mexico) the code is 01 plus the area code and phone number. For international long-distance calls, first dial 00, then the country code (U.S. and Canada country code is 1), so you would dial 00 + 1 + area code + 7 digit number.

CALLING CELL PHONES (FROM A LAND LINE) If you are calling from a landline within the area code of the Mexican cell phone number dial 044, the 10 digit number. Outside of the area code (but still within Mexico) dial 045 and then the 10 digit phone number. Cell phone to cell phone only requires the 10 digit number.

PHONE CARDS Phone cards (tarjetas telefonicas) for use in pay phones can be bought at newsstands and in pharmacies.

Pay phones do not accept coins. When buying a phone card for pay phone use, specify that you would like a tarjeta LADA. CALLING TOLL-FREE NUMBERS Some toll free numbers work from Mexico to the US and Canada, but many do not. Those that do work are often not toll-free. You need to dial a different prefix. To call the following toll free prefixes, dial as follows: 800 numbers Dial 001-880-then the number 866 numbers Dial 001-883-then the number 877 numbers Dial 001-882-then the number 888 numbers Dial 001-881-then the number

Emergencies: 911 Red Cross: 065 Fire Department: 322.223.9476 Ambulance: 322.222.1533

Ahoy Cruisers!

NAME PASS DATE EURODAM 2,104 01/05/2018 CARNIVAL SPLENDOR 3,200 02/05/2018 NORWEGIAN SUN 2,240 05/05/2018 CARNIVAL SPLENDOR 3,200 09/05/2018 ECLIPSE 2,850 11/05/2018 CRYSTAL SERENITY 1,080 13/05/2018 CARNIVAL SPLENDOR 3,200 15/05/2018 CARNIVAL SPLENDOR 3,200 23/05/2018 CARNIVAL SPLENDOR 3,200 30/05/2018 MS SEVEB SEAS NAVIGATOR 490 31/05/2018

Immigration: 322.224.7719 Consumer Protection: 01.800.468.8722 Tourism Offices Jalisco: 322.221.2676 Nayarit: 322.297.1006

Consulates American Consulate 24 hrs 01-332-268-2100 Canadian Consulate 322.293.0098 322.293.0099 24 hrs: 1.800.706.2900

In port this month

In the month of May Puerto Vallarta welcomes 24,764 passengers!

Vallarta Tribune is an activity and entertainment guide and publishes information as it is provided by the advertiser or event host. We do not assume responsibility in errors or omissions other than to correct them as they are made known to us regarding event schedules, locations and/or prices. In addition, we do not assume any responsibility for erroneous inclusion or exclusion of information except to take reasonable care to ensure accuracy, that permission has been obtained to use it, and to remove it as soon as is practical upon receiving your notification of error. We recommend you always confirm prior to attending or visiting an event or establishment. Weekly publication edited, printed and distributed by Ediciones y Publicaciones Siete Junio, SA de CV Grupo Editorial Tribuna Calle 21 de Marzo # 1174 Col. Lomas del Coapinole Del. El Pitillal, Puerto Vallarta, Jalisco México CP 48290 Tel. 226-0800 * www. vallartatribune.com * https://www.facebook.com/VtaTribune/

Cut out and put near your phone for handy reference

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editorial

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Editor’s

Note

editor@vallartatribune.com

This week in Paradise

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huge high-five to Robert Price and his team at the Vallarta Botanical Gardens for being selected as a Best Botanical Garden in North America

by US Today. Coming in at fourth place is a well-deserved coup for the gardens and our little city.

Felicidades!

As the weather turns… The humidity has become denser. The sun hotter. The oceans warmer.

And my need for a pool greater! I saw one at Costco last week. Only 12,000 pesos. That’s a justifiable expense, right?

Well, instead of buying a pool this week, we went to a hit up a couple of beach clubs for snacks

and cocktails. First, we thought we’d try someplace new and drove over to Ecetera Beach Club in Nuevo Vallarta. We settled into some beach chairs and put our feet up.

Service was impeccable, really excellent. The drinks a little weak but the Aguachili was fresh and tangy. The beach here is spectacular. Safe waves, long flat sandy beach. If I had little kids, I’d make this a goto spot for weekends.

Thinking we’d rather be close to home if we were to keep cocktailing, we pulled up camp and went to El Solar, which is consistently our go-to for a good reason.

Great menu, great staff, great location, great tunes (played at an appropriate decibel) and wellpoured drinks. You can’t go wrong at this beachfront bar/restaurant.

I hear there is a new beach club opened up at Mantamar. I haven’t been yet, but it is creating a buzz.

And La Patrona in San Pancho is next on my list of decadent places to explore. Maybe next weekend.

A couple of calendar items – Restaurant Week starts next Tuesday, May 15 and runs until June 10. For a complete list of the restaurants and their contact information – visit vallartatribune.com Pride is coming up on May 20-27, and Jim Lee (welcome back to the fold!) has all the details in his new column Out Vallarta!

Puerto Vallarta’s centennial

takes place on May 31, and there are many events going on throughout the month. The best place to look for details is on their facebook page www.facebook.com/ VallartaAlCien/ The city has just announced that Pepe Aguilar, Banda Superstar Extraordinaire will be headlining the free concert on the Malecon on May 31. Expect huge crowds for this event.

Next week on Sunday, May 13 at 4:30 pm on the Malecon will be the second edition of Down Vallarta, an extreme mountain bike race that takes place through the streets of Centro. Internationally acclaimed riders will take part. It’s a fabulous spectacle.

Just don’t plan on driving downtown that day or getting through Centro very quickly.

Finally, if the elastic on your favourite swimsuit is about to go, Sirena Reina, the number one pick for Reader’s Choice Bathing Suit Shop, is holding their Super Summer Sale with discounts as much as 30% off. Owner Robina Oliver stocks very high-quality suits that fit a wide range of body types. There is a reason why they are consistently the best swimsuit shop in town. Check it out!

Plenty of info in this week’s pages and online at www.vallartatribune.com. Thank you as always for spending a part of your day with us!

Safe travels, Madeline

We Recommend:

SANTIAGO MARTIN – New Summer Show at Incanto

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antiago Martin Rumberia is a Spanish born singer/ songwriter, drummer and guitarist from Castile–La Mancha, Spain. From an early age, he began a career in music which has yielded many concert performances, two albums and several television appearances.

Singing in a powerful, soulful voice, the performs in the traditional style of flamenco, fusing it with modern pop, rock and rumba, resulting in a popular and unique sound. A recent arrival from San Miguel de Allende, Santiago sang with the popular band Media Luna at Incanto during several of their concerts, and the audience could not get enough. Luckily for us he will now have his own show this

summer in Incanto’s piano bar on Tuesdays at 7:30pm. No cover charge. More information is available at Incanto’s website IncantoVallarta.com.

Long history serving Vallarta, new name Christ Church by the Sea has changed its name to: Anglican Church Puerto Vallarta with a new website: www.anglicanchurchpuertovallarta.org and is now affiliated with the Anglican Church in North America.

Anglican Church Puerto Vallarta, is still at the same location, Blvd.

Fco. Medina Ascencio 7936, on the frontage road, across from the airport, next to Sixt Car Rental They are known as the friendliest church in Puerto Vallarta, and have the same priest, Fr. Jack Wehrs, leading the congregation. Starting May 6, 2018 services will be held in their beautiful air conditioned chapel until mid October, when services will resume in their lovely palapa. Free parking is available at Sixt Car Rental next door.

Further information can be obtained by calling Fr. Jack at 322 229-1129, or 619 300-7377

May 10 - 16, 2018 www.vallartatribune.com

Countdown to PV’s Restaurant Week

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tarting in just a few days the Puerto Vallarta Restaurant Week is extended this year for an extra 10 days, from May 15 to June 10 leqaving you with more time to try out your favourite menus, or explore new dining out options.

With a record number of restaurants participating, up from 45 restaurants in the 2012 festival to 59 this year. The participating restaurants will offer menus divided into three courses and three price points: 269, 399 and 466 pesos per person, as much as 50 percent less than the original menu prices.

Restaurant Week is eagerly anticipated by locals and gourmet foodies from around the world, who plan an annual vacation in Puerto Vallarta specifically for this delicious festival. In addition to other important festivities that take place during the month of May, such as Pride and the anniversary of Puerto Vallarta’s foundation as a city and as a municipality, Restaurant Week has become an important event that encourages visitors to choose the month of May as an attractive time of year to explore Banderas Bay. The 59 participating restaurants in this year’s Puerto Vallarta Restaurant Week are: Agrodolce, Ambrosia Grill, Archie’s Wok, Azafrán, Barcelona Tapas, Barrio Bistro by Memo Wulff,

Boccon Di Vino, Café des Artistes Puerto Vallarta, Coco Tropical, Daiquiri Dick’s, Da Simone, De Cántaro, Di Vino Dante, Eishan Oriental Cuisine, El Arrayan, Florios, Fusion Gourmet, Gaby’s Restaurant Bar, Gaviotas, Hacienda San Angel, India Gate, Kaiser Maximilian, Katana Sushi & Bar, La Cappella, La Cigale French Bistro, La Leche, La Pancha, La Trattoria, Layla’s Restaurante, Mamá Sirena, Mark’s Bar & Grill, Matiz, Mérida Grill, Mikado, Nicksan, No Way José!, Oso’s Fish Market Restaurant, Pezlimon, Pizzeria La Dolce, Porto Bello, Restaurante Icú, River Café, Roberto’s Mexican Seafood, Sapori Di Sicilia, Seasons P.V., Serrano’s Meat House, Sí Señor Beach, Sushi Pop, Taste Restaurant @ Casa Cúpula, Teresa Bar & Bistro, The Blue Shrimp, The Iguana, The Swedes, Tintoque, Trio Mediterranean, Tuna Blanca, Vallarta Factory, Vitea Oceanfront Bistro y Warique Restaurante.

Restaurants joining the festivities for the first time include: Agrodolce, Ambrosia Grill, Azafrán, Da Simone, De Cántaro, Eishan Oriental Cuisine, La Cappella, La Pancha, La Trattoria, Katana Sushi & Bar, Mamá Sirena, Matiz, Restaurante Icú, Sapori Di Sicilia, Sushi Pop, Teresa Bar & Bistro, Vallarta Factory and Warique Restaurante.

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May 10 - 16, 2018 www.vallartatribune.com

What is the Future of Mexico’s Drug Laws?

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n April 11 the Supreme Court of Mexico granted a new Amparo in favor of personal use of recreational marijuana. The Amparo was added to the 2016 resolution which declared absolute prohibition of recreational use unconstitutional. The case stated that the prohibition of cannabis violates the human right to the free development of personality. This right to the development of personality is part of the Mexican constitution, and is also included in the UN’s Declaration of Human Rights. Individuals have the right to

decide what is best for their body and lives, provided they do not interfere with the rights of others.

Amparos are not new. It is a judgment in which the Federal Authority is asked to protect justice for any violation of the fundamental rights of the constitution of the United Mexican States. As the law stands, for now, people may only carry five grams of marijuana for personal use; any more than that will be considered illegal without special permission from the court.

Some citizens have gone before the Supreme Court to challenge the law

for medicinal purposes and won.

For instance, a young woman who was experiencing epileptic seizures was granted the use of marijuana.

Currently cultivation and resale of marijuana are illegal.

Many politicians and citizens believe that the legalization of marijuana is one way that Mexico can gain control of the drug violence due to drug trafficking.

Legalization of use and production would not only mean profits for farmers and processors of medical marijuana, oils and other treatments related to health care, but would

also reduce crime and tax fraud.

Most importantly it would lessen the control cartels have over the vulnerable youth that become involved in the drug trade.

Vicente Fox also proposed that Mexico legalize the production of opium poppy plants which are used to make heroin; he believes by legalizing the plant, it would cripple the cartel’s drug trade and slow the violence.

Semáforo Delictivo Nacional, an organization for the regulation of marijuana, says Mexico could generate an industry of up to 6,000

million dollars; some speculate the amount could be closer to 7,000 million.

Last year the Mexican Minister of Tourism proposed that recreational use of marijuana be legal in the top tourism spots such as Cancun, Playa del Carmen, Riviera Maya, Los Cabos, La Paz and Loreto.

On May 30-31 the CannaMexico World Summit will be held in Guanajuato. The two-day conference will include scientific evidence regarding health benefits of cannabis, discussions on legislation, agro-industry, technology, entrepreneurship, and ethical and moral aspects, violence and prohibition.

Original: cannamexico.com

US ambassador leaves Mexico after 50 days to go: The landscape of Mexican elections ‘the post of my life’ Roberta Jacobson says it’s a ‘see you later’ rather than a ‘goodbye’

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he United States ambassador to Mexico left the country Saturday, ending a two-year stint in the job during a time of increasingly strained relations between the two neighbors.

In two parting tweets written in Spanish, Roberta Jacobson described her time in Mexico as “the post of my life,” expressed her gratitude to the Mexican people and conveyed her continued confidence in the bilateral relation.

“It’s not a goodbye but a see you later. Today I believe even more in the strength of the MX-US relationship . . .” she wrote in her second May 5 Twitter post. “. . . Thank you to this beautiful country and its people. I predict a prosperous future for Mexico.

The two years were wonderful. I’m leaving my heart here!” Jacobson said in her first tweet.

The ambassador, who has worked in the U.S. State Department for more than 30 years, first announced her resignation in March explaining in a letter circulated to embassy staff that she had “come to the difficult decision that it is the right time to move on to new challenges and adventures.”

Jacobson’s departure comes as negotiations to update the 24-year-old North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) continue and amid ongoing tension between Mexico and the United States on issues including migration, drug trafficking and the proposed border wall.

United States President Donald Trump has frequently railed against Mexico — both before and after he was sworn in in January 2017 —

and President Enrique Peña Nieto rebuked his U.S. counterpart over his plan to send troops to the U.S.Mexico border in a candid video last month.

But despite the strain on bilateral relations, observers credit Jacobson with concentrating on what the two countries could achieve together rather than focusing on their difficulties and differences.

“We have a lot more that unites us — food, family, culture, history — than what divides us,” she said in a farewell video posted by the U.S. embassy to YouTube.

She traveled widely in Mexico during her tenure and frequently spoke about her deep love for the country.

In a May 2 tweet, she said that she, her husband and their dog Taco would “deeply miss Mexico.”

Former U.S. president Barrack Obama named Jacobson as the United States’ first female ambassador to Mexico in June 2015 but the Senate took almost a year to ratify the appointment due to her role in the negotiations to restore diplomatic ties with Cuba.

She was finally sworn in in June 2016.

However, after President Trump

took office in January 2017, U.S. diplomacy on Mexico was increasingly routed directly through the White House, especially via Trump’s son-in-law Jared Kushner, who has developed a close relationship with Mexican Foreign Secretary Luis Videgaray.

Jacobson’s influence was reportedly reduced as a consequence.

During her two years in the position, the ambassador spoke out on issues such as violence against women and the murder of journalists in Mexico.

She also participated in two gay pride marches in Mexico City and after last September’s earthquakes Jacobson accompanied U.S. rescuers who came to the capital to assist in recovery efforts.

Notorious drug lord Joaquín “El Chapo” Guzmán was extradited to the United States while she was ambassador and in a previous State Department role she also worked on the establishment of the U.S.Mexico security cooperation agreement known as the Mérida Initiative.

In February, Jacobson said at a ceremony marking the commencement of construction of a new U.S. embassy in Mexico City that “Mexico is one of the United States’ closest and most valuable partners.”

Trump has not yet officially named Jacobson’s replacement in Mexico but former General Motors and AT & T CEO Ed Whiteacre is widely expected to be appointed to the role.

Deputy chief of mission William Duncan will serve as Washington’s ambassador to Mexico in the interim.

Original: Mexico News Daily

By Juan Pablo Green uly 1st is approaching quickly and the landscape is an unprecedented one. Ever since Mexico has celebrated democratic elections, no candidate from outside the traditional center-right parties has been so far ahead in the presidential polls. Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador currently holds an average lead of ten percentage points over second place Ricardo Anaya.

After the first presidential debate two weeks ago, runner-up candidate Ricardo Anaya became the center of attention after delivering a striking debate. Gaining the attention of Mexican households with his arguments and prepared evidence, confronting Lopez Obrador multiple times over the course of the debate.

The debate solidified Anaya’s position as the runner-up against Lopez Obrador’s dominant lead.

2018 is Lopez Obrador’s third attempt for the presidential seat.

He suffered a close defeat in 2006, losing against Felipe Calderon by less than one percent of the total vote.

This outcome ensued mass protests which lasted over a month in Mexico City, a city where he previously was mayor before running for president.

After 2006 he became a controversial politician, being labeled as the leader of the extreme left of Mexico’s political spectrum.

After 12 years of Mexico’s conservative party in power, the social repercussions of Mexico’s drug war beginning with Felipe Calderon’s mandate in 2006 left the National Action Party in a position to lose the next elections. Northern Mexico, traditionally a region with a heavy conservative vote voted against PAN’s successor and brought back the Institutional Revolutionary Party better known as

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PRI. Lopez Obrador lost the 2012 elections by a considerable margin, winning south Mexico’s vote but missing the northern vote again.

After 2012, Lopez Obrador stepped down from Mexico’s progressive party (PRD) to create a new party under his leadership. He led the creation of the National Regeneration Movement, commonly shortened to Morena.

This new political force gained force for the 2015 and 2017 elections, gaining the majority of seats in Mexico City’s boroughs. This series of wins cemented Morena as a true political force for the 2018 elections.

After a third place finish in 2012 elections, PAN lost a lot of political influence in Mexico as PRI came back into power. While Peña Nieto’s presidency brought a substantial increase for foreign direct investment, with billion-dollar injections from Audi in Puebla and from KIA Motors in Nuevo Leon. An increase in insecurity across the country and increasing prices for gasoline and energy have left Peña Nieto under a 20 percent presidential approval.

The combination of these factors has led to Lopez’s considerable lead coming up to the last stretch of the presidential campaign. This of course has the political opposition and the businessmen of Mexico speechless.

Even after a weak debate by Lopez, his lead has not diminished and currently is hovering at almost 50 percent in the polls. Anti-Lopez Obrador sentiment is still a strong force in Mexican society. The next few weeks will show if political parties are willing to compromise their ideals to join against an opposition who has stayed on top.

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mother’s day

Mexico Says Major Issues Still Outstanding in NAFTA Talks

In Mexico, a celebration of the mother cult Las Mañanitas

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exico’s economy secretary said on Tuesday that much remains to be done before negotiations with the United States and Canada on updating the 1994 North American Free Trade Agreement can be deemed a success.

Among the “very important” matters that remain to be settled are dispute-resolution mechanisms, rules of origin in the automotive sector and rules for agricultural trade, Ildefonso Guajardo told a press conference in Mexico City.

“We are still at the negotiating table discussing a series of issues that have to be accommodated in a way that is positive for the three countries,” he said. “A negotiation cannot be declared successful until all of its issues are resolved.”

The next round of talks is scheduled for May 7

US President Donald Trump took office in 2017 vowing to scrap NAFTA if the accord could not be amended to his satisfaction and the process of revision began last summer.

The original idea was to conclude the negotiations by the end of 2017 to avoid NAFTA’s becoming an issue in this year’s Mexican presidential campaign or the mid-term congressional elections in the United States.

But the talks have turned out to be more difficult than expected.

Regarding automotive rules of origin, Guajardo said that he has been meeting with executives from Mexico’s auto sector to draft an alternative to the latest US proposal, which is seen as likely to harm Mexican assembly plants and part-makers.

Original: LAHT.com

Thousands Demonstrate in Mexico Demanding Legalization of Marijuana Use

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housands of people demonstrated last Saturday in several cities of Mexico including Puerto Vallarta to demand a change in the legislation to allow the recreational use of marijuana, as well as the acceptance of this plant for therapeutic use.

The march, a local manifestation of the worldwide Global Marijuana March, an event that has been held annually in over 800 cities and 70 countries since 1999, took place in Mexico City, Guadalajara, Merida, Monterrey, Tijuana and Puerto Vallarta.

In Puerto Vallarta about 40 demonstrators marched along the main streets and malecon on Saturday afternoon. Local Gold Leaf Smoke Shop owner Samara Alpern says, “I think it’s great that the city gave activists such positive support. In Merida there were reports of harassment by police.

I’m thankful that in Vallarta there

were no such problems. It was wonderful to see both national and foreign residents demonstrating together at the march. “.

Kim Martin, owner of Myskova Swimwear showed her support as the demonstrators passed by her malecon shop. It’s something that hits close to home for Kim, whose father uses Medical Marijuana (in Canada) for his ailments “I believe that legalizing it would help control violence and help many people that are unaware how beneficial it is for many health issues. I don’t believe it’s for youngsters, I don’t even smoke it actually, but have been meaning to start !And definitely will in my old age. Growing it in Canada is my dads passion!”

In June 2017, a decree legalizing marijuana for therapeutic use throughout Mexico was published in the Official Journal of the Federation, and although the government said it would regulate medicinal use, it has not yet done so.

May 10 - 16, 2018 www.vallartatribune.com

By William Booth

E

verybody loves mothers, but Mexicans? Maybe more so.

In the annual celebration of the mother cult, Mexico is especially devout, and every year on May 10 (they don’t move the date around to fall on a Sunday), the entire nation stops what it is doing in the afternoon and eats some serious lunch with Mom. “For us Mexicans, first, there is the Virgin of Guadalupe, and, second, there is our mother,” said Maxine Woodside, radio host of the popular show “Todo Para La Mujer,” or “All About Women,” and the mother of two boys.

“Mexicans are very attached to family, not like in the United States, where they throw the kids out of the house at age 18,” Woodside said. “Here we see men in their 40s who still live with their mothers, and why not? Their moms still do their laundry.”

A popular Mother’s Day gift?

Irons. Also big blenders (not to make margaritas, but soups, sauces, salsas).

Mexican thinker Octavio Paz, in his classic work on the national psyche, “The Labyrinth of Solitude,” spends a lot of pages mulling Mexico’s worship of saintly, suffering, giving mother figures.

In Mexican slang, to insult the mother, to take in vain “la madre,” is to swear with serious intent.

On Thursday May 10 2012, in honor of the maternal, outgoing Mexico City Mayor Marcelo Ebrard invited Paul McCartney, the Beatle, to play for 200,000 fans at a free concert in the capital’s central square, the Zocalo.

“Hola, D.F.!,” the former mop head said, speaking Spanish to the Distrito Federal, Mexico’s version of D.C., saying how happy he was to be here on this special day.

“Estamos muy contentos de estar aqui en el Dia de las Madres!”

Mexicans are, interestingly, Beatle fanatics. There are radio stations that play nothing but Beatles music. But McCartney was wise to have on stage some mariachi players, because crooning mariachis are central to the celebration of mothers here. The musicians pack the restaurants, but another tradition, especially in the countryside, holds that mariachis (and the adoring children) should gather outside mothers’

Estas son las mañanitas, que cantaba el Rey David, Hoy por ser día de tu santo, te las cantamos a ti, Despierta, mi bien*, despierta, mira que ya amaneció, Ya los pajarillos cantan, la luna ya se metió.

Que linda está la mañana en que vengo a saludarte, Venimos todos con gusto y placer a felicitarte, Ya viene amaneciendo, ya la luz del día nos dio, Levántate de mañana, mira que ya amaneció.

Translation: This is the morning song that King David sang Because today is your saint’s day we’re singing it for you Wake up, my dear*, wake up, look it is already dawn The birds are already singing and the moon has set How lovely is the morning in which I come to greet you We all came with joy and pleasure to congratulate you The morning is coming now, the sun is giving us its light Get up in the morning, look it is already dawn * Often replaced with the name of the person who is being celebrated

homes for a serenade.

The most popular song is the sweet, sugary “Las Mananitas”: “Awaken, my dear, awaken/ and see that the day has dawned/ now the little birds are singing/ and the moon has set.”

Having 80 people over for lunch on this day? Not unusual.

“It is, without a doubt, the most important day for restaurants, our busiest day of the year, when we sell double, triple what we would on a normal day,” said Manuel Gutierrez, president of the national association of restaurateurs, who has worked in and around commercial kitchens since he was a boy.

Gutierrez estimates that for this one day, Mexico puts 200,000 extra waiters to work.

The most popular restaurants are, naturally, family-style, where kids can run around and families eat from long tables piled with kilos of carnitas and barbacoa.

A decent Mother’s Day lunch can easily clock in at five hours.

Also common: Mom might knock back a shot or two of tequila — for her heart.

“The mother is an institution in Mexico, and Mexicans are party animals. And as the mother traditionally is the one working for us, cleaning for us, cooking for us,

we believe that at least one day a year, we ought to take her out and let someone else do the cooking,” Gutierrez said.

At the flower market in the San Angel barrio, florist Manuel Garcia was up before dawn, making arrangements.

“There is nothing like the Mother’s Day for us, because everybody gives flowers today to their mamas. If you can, you also buy a gift for her, or for the grandma, but flowers? You cannot show up without flowers.”

Garcia explained that the tradition does not end with a mother’s death. “Of course, the children also come to buy flowers for their mothers who have passed away, because they go to visit them at the cemeteries,” which overflow with bouquets.

“Maybe Mexicans don’t have many things, but we have a lot of love for our moms,” he said.

It is also election season in Mexico, and campaign volunteers will flood into town squares to hand out roses to mothers, maybe with a little note reminding them who loves them the most and what political party they represent.

Researcher Gabriela Martinez contributed to this report.

Original: www.washingtonpost.com

local

08

Weapon of Mass Destruction: Your Foreign Corporation Orlando Gotay, Tax Attorney

Emily Magewski

marciavallarta@gmail.com

Orlando Gotay is a California licensed tax attorney (with a Master of Laws in Taxation) admitted to practice before the IRS, the U.S. Tax Court and other taxing agencies. His love of things Mexican has led him to devote part of his practice to the federal and state tax matters of U.S. expats in Mexico. He can be reached at tax@orlandogotay.com or Facebook: GotayTaxLawyer.

This is just a most general outline, and is of course, informational only and not meant as legal advice.

I

From Here Marcia Blondin

tax@orlandogotay.com

f the title did not catch your attention, I don’t know what would. I chose it to convey the potential to inflict serious, perhaps even catastrophic damage, by mishandled ownership in foreign corporations (FC).

Actually, FCs can be perfectly ok.

U.S. persons must understand that merely owning enough FC shares can trigger special IRS reporting requirements, even if no income is created.

Worth noting: FCs are separate entities and are not your left pocket.

Contributing cash or property in excess of certain amounts triggers a reporting requirement. As mentioned, owning more than a certain percentage of FC stock triggers another. Being an officer or director…you guessed it. Another requirement. Every one of these requirements carries a very meaningful penalty for not complying.

In my time in Mexico, I have learned that some persons organize FCs to hold title to real estate—typically one’s home-- perhaps trying to save on annual fideicomiso fees.

Are you renting from your own corporation? Probably not. But you are getting something of value from that FC, the use and enjoyment of the residence. That has value. Fair Market Value. If you did not pay rent, that value can be considered annual

May 10 - 16, 2018 www.vallartatribune.com

income to you and must be included in your federal return. It’s like an imputed dividend. You say huh? I say you did it to yourself.

If the property in the FC is actually being rented, it may become more complicated if the FC qualifies as a Passive Foreign Investment Company. PFICs are really bad. The Congress doesn’t want you to have them because of the potential to park unreported income. Special reporting requirements and tax regime— beyond “regular” FC ones—can apply.

Shares in a FC that holds real property may be a “Specified Foreign Financial Asset” and thus reportable in yet another IRS form. You, the flesh and bones person, may also be responsible for a Foreign Bank Account Report if you have control over a foreign financial account in the name of the FC. Do you see a pattern here? The American taxman becomes very, very excited when its subjects organize foreign entities, as it does not have as much visibility on them as it does with domestic counterparts.

If needed, Fideicomisos structured according to IRS rules are safe to have.

You don’t have reporting requirements, you don’t have to pay rent to the trust and you can sleep at night. Do your homework, learn the guardrails!

C

ongratulations to the Vallarta Botanical Gardens for placing fourth out of the Ten Best Botanical Gardens in North America brought to you by USA Today. Founder and Curator Bob Price is celebrating in London, England. Way to go, Bobby!

Another feather, er, flower for your ‘lovely’ straw hat!

At Incanto: “Princesas Desesperadas” opens this coming Saturday, May 12, at 8:30 pm. “Dinner and a Movie” starring Paco Ojeda is every Tuesday at 7 pm for a bit of always-interesting history behind what’s showing.

Tuesday, May 15 is the start of Restaurant Week here in town and around the Bay with an unprecedented 59 restaurants participating. I wonder if anyone out there can ‘do’ them all? It’s only 2.2 restos/day. I should have thought of it sooner and asked my friend and colleague AJ Freeman to at least TRY! Maybe next year AJ, we can split them up…could be a column or two in it!

From something I said in last week’s From Here, I received a correction from Jim Davis and David Wilhoit. They didn’t raise 11,500 pesos at all – they more than TRIPLED that amount for their three charities.

Bravo again, gentlemen! I shall read more carefully in the future!

I have to give a huge shout out to Jeanine Frank – Head Hen at Three Hens & A Rooster Market.

She startedThree Hens after the demise of Paradise Community Center’s stillmourned Saturday Market. Two weeks ago she learned her lease was not renewable and a new space had to be found or the Market disbanded. She told me last Saturday she wasn’t sure if anyone would come to Aquiles Serdan 518. None of the vendors knew what to expect of the new digs until we arrived for business Saturday morning.

Wow. Jeanine outdid herself (again!). Her sense of style,

emilyannmajewski@gmail.com proportion, and color is impeccable, and Encanto shone with new paint and a new attitude. It was a great Opening Day, and I hope to see you there every Saturday. And if you happen to be looking for a home to buy, there’s an Open House right next door during Market hours 9 to 1. Stop in and tell Steve I sent you!

Speaking of buying Real Estate, I went on JG Group’s Walking Tour last week with my friend and Market colleague Sandra Cesca. We started up the hill from the Marsol Market on Francisca Rodriguez, the pier street, where I bumped into fellow Canuck Gerard Allard. We toured five buildings only that afternoon, not one of them was finished, and they are almost SOLD OUT! I couldn’t believe it. I am so not in the market to buy real estate, but I sure have been curious about all these new places that have popped up – or are still popping – around Emiliano Zapata. What a great opportunity it was to ogle and to get straightforward answers to the million questions our group had of Dean McConkey.

The tour was leisurely measured; we were not hurried and we sure as hell weren’t bored, that’s for sure. I still can’t wrap my head around some of the units and buildings that we saw. Let me interject here – I was expecting the usual: “granite counters throughout, stainless steel appliances, breathtaking views” and so on and so forth, blah, blah, blah. What I saw was breathtaking technology, brilliant interiors, and architectural twists and turns never seen before in this city.

Do yourselves a big favor if you’re in the market (Dean and Julie don’t need people like me who will never buy more than groceries) go on both of JG Group’s Tours and let the scales fall from your eyes.

You will find their information on the Banderas Bay Shopping and Services Pages in this issue.

Thanks to everybody who made my week spectacular…like our views, From Here.

A horticulturist and sustainability consultant for 18 years Emily runs a part time business in the Bay called Small World Probiotics, the region's largest fermented foods venture.

Emily’s passion is ecology: whether it's our human micro biome or the greater ecology we are all fortunate to be a part of. She lives with her husband, daughter, two dogs, fourty chickens, ducks and plant collection outside of Lo de Marcos, Nayarit.

From Waste to Resource Part 1

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et’s talk about waste. Most of us flush and forget: whatever happens afterwards to our byproducts is an invisible mystery that may as well be orchestrated by a giant sanitation Elf. The fact is, our energy and freshwater intensive sewage infrastructure treats waste as a problem to be mitigated, not a resource to be stewarded.

On a macro-level, the two aspects of waste management that we most need to revise our approach with are 1) conserving potable water with flush systems and 2) recovering phosphorus, as well as other nutrients/minerals from waste streams. The first doesn’t need much explaining, but the second points to a much more complicated issue: phosphorous depletion, or, “Peak Phosphorous”. Phosphorous is a geological mineral that is essential to all plant life and therefore essential to the entire food chain from the ground up. This nutrient is the K is the fertilizer N-P-K: it is imperative in everything from growing grasslands to support livestock to growing actual vegetables and grains. Unfortunately, it is a mineral being rapidly depleted around the world, and large deposits of it are inequitably distributed among the continents. For example, one of the largest deposits is in Morocco. So, if ever there is an invasion to provide Freedom to Morocco, it’s probably really to “liberate” their phosphorous . You never know, but if it does happen, you heard it here first.

Ironically, impending lean times with geological phosphorous are

local 09 Medical Matters Sustainably Yours

juxtaposed against large amounts of phosphorous where it doesn’t belong: fertilizer run off, manure run off and urban disposal issues are clogging our waterways with excess phosphates. By not stewarding this precious resource, large algal blooms are feeding off of this nutrient (originally phosphorous) until oxygen deprived dead zones are forming in rivers, ponds and deltas.

What happens to be a rich source of phosphorous is the waste stream – both human and livestock faeces. Most of the phosphorous our bodies do not use, can be directly recovered from our waste.

In fact, this feature makes it a most remarkable resource, since it is the only one that actually increases with population. The main impediment is the lack of political will to design our waste management systems to prioritize mineral recovery. Hopefully underlying that lack of will is ignorance, and not indifference, since this is a conservation issue affecting every strata of humanity.

Large ecological and, indeed, geopolitical issues such as the above, can be very intimidating to the average person. After all, you gotta go when you gotta go, and how can you save the world at the same time? Because my intention for this column is to provide practical guidance with solutions on a small scale, stay tuned for PART 2: “Waste on a Home Scale.”

Phosphate mining

Paradise and Parenting

Pam Thompson

Leza Warkentin

Pamela Thompson operates HealthCare Resources Puerto Vallarta, a multi-faceted, independent, resource network that is here for your total health and well-being. We offer assistance to help find a physician, hospital and diagnostic service for any healthcare needs. www.healthcareresourcespv.com

I am the preschool coordinator and nursery teacher at the American School of Puerto Vallarta. I am also both unsurprised and not a bit sorry that this list of my favorites is mostly about places to eat. If you can live in Vallarta without appreciating some of the good eatin’ around here, you have to be at least half Vulcan.

pamela@healthcareresourcespv.com

Sewage treatment

May 10 - 16, 2018 www.vallartatribune.com

Summer is coming!

Prepare for Mosquitos!

I

t is still too early for the rains but you can feel them coming. The air is thicker and has a different smell.

Like a wet smell. This means it is time to prepare for more mosquito prevention. On patios and balconies, clear off any containers where water can gather. Check drains to make sure they are not clogged with gunk. Yes, there is now a vaccine for dengue and yes, it is available here. A personal choice as are all vaccines and if you would like information, just send me an email. And speaking of vaccines, no we do not yet have the new Shingles vaccine available here yet. In fact, vaccines have been hard to find around here lately, of any kind.

The summer months are also a good time to take care of having a physical, having a colonoscopy and maybe some of those other studies that no one really wants to do but knows it is a good idea. A bit more space available during the summer months.

And a word of advice who are away for the summer and will be returning in the fall. If you would like an appointment with one of the two dermatologists that we work with, you might think about making that appointment now. I have had to turn away a vast amount of people who emailed me saying they would like an appointment in the next week or so before they leave for the summer.

Sorry. Nothing available!

mommyinmexico.wordpress.com

Back to the weather which always seems to be a big topic this time of year. Yes. The heat and humidity are on the way. Yes. The rains are coming. Complaining about it does not do one single thing to stop the arrival. Just do some prep to get ready!

I would like to put a big plug in here for my friend Bill Kelly’s Cooling Ties. These handy dandy neck scarves have built in gel or some such thing that when put around your neck, really do work to help keeping you cool! He even has them for dogs! Very fashionable colors, designs and fabrics. You can send me an email for further information.

(You can find Bill and his cooling ties at the Three Hen’s and a Rooster Market every Saturday, year round.)

How about sending in your tips for keeping cool in the summer months? I can add them in the weekly articles!

Our May newsletter is now out there and it is short and sweet this month. In June we will have some excellent speakers programs to include summer health issues such as dehydration, sunstroke, fungus in your toes and some other fun stuff.

Our monthly clinics are SCREENING clinics meaning procedures are not done. Screening for skin cancer. Screening for thyroid issues.

Screening for cardiac problems and so on. If you are here this summer, you might want to take advantage of the clinics for certain yearly checks as one my 1,000 things to do this summer is to revise, revamp, reorganize our clinics. The prices have not risen in years and years and it is time. Do not worry. Not too much.

Here’s to a stunning week!

Mother’s Day

I

always knew that I would be a mother. From the time I could hold a baby doll, I practiced feeding and changing, burping and chastising. I remember writing down lists of names, depending on my current mood and on what was popular at the time. I wondered what their father would be like, and if we would live in a big house in my own hometown, grandparents on call just down the street. I thought about how many I might have, and if I’d have an equal ratio of boys to girls. I decided that I’d need to take a break from my job in order to devote enough time to their childhoods, just as my mom did for my brother and me.

I never dreamed in a million lifetimes that I would raise my children in another country. I didn’t consider for a second that their father wouldn’t be Canadian and might have his own opinions about names (that might not even be English). I wouldn’t have guessed that their grandparents wouldn’t live within driving distance. And I never once thought that my baby daddy would be a guitar player by night and Super Dad by day, so I wouldn’t need to leave my career behind.

The reality of motherhood doesn’t even share the same eye color as my vision of it when I was a little girl force-feeding her Baby Alive circa 1978. I didn’t know that I’d struggle while trying to pushing a stroller over cobblestones. I didn’t know that I would cry for my own mother when it was 2am, the baby wouldn’t sleep and my husband was at work. I didn’t know that I’d be a second language learner in the pediatrician’s office. I didn’t know that I would search my babies’ faces and realize they didn’t look like me at all.

I didn’t know that sometimes I would feel very lost, very sad and very alone.

But I also didn’t know how rich and sweet my life as a mother would be, because how could I have predicted any of those things as a young girl playing pretend?

Because when you become a mother, you are always biting off more than you can chew, and you never can be fully prepared for the new identity you are taking on.

When you become a mother in a country where you were not born, you are taking on a new identity while trying to understand a new culture and language.

When I changed my son to a new formula, I had to learn the ingredients in Spanish. When I couldn’t deal with the stroller on cobblestones, I had to learn how to wrap my little babies in a scarf, or reboso, literally wearing them on my body. I dealt with typhoid and dengue as threats to our family’s health, along with the regular, suddenly mundane, colds and flu.

Strangely enough, I wouldn’t trade any of it for all the maple syrup in Canada. Our family is small, but it’s tight, thanks to all those days when we had only each other to lean on. Carrying my little ones wrapped up next to my heart is one of my favorite memories of their babyhood. Our children speak two languages with ease and can read now labels for me. I came to acknowledge that regular sleep wasn’t everything (although it’s pretty dang important). I learned that sadness and loneliness are not the apocalypse.

They are simply emotions that show me I’m human. And I learned that joy and love are felt just as deeply, and often at the very same time.

Motherhood isn’t what I expected it would be when I dreamed of it so long ago. It’s a thousand times better. My identity as a mother to these two human beings is the most precious part of who I am. I am grateful every day for the gift of love and for my life as a mother in Mexico.

entertainment

10

The Puerto Vallarta Gay Men’s Chorus Presents “Show Me Broadway”

May 10 - 16, 2018 www.vallartatribune.com

Soprano Vanessa Amaro, Princesas Desesperadas, and Daniel Le Claire’s ‘Broadway & Bublé’ at Incanto

O T

he Puerto Vallarta Gay Men’s Chorus (PVGMC) is proud to announce plans for its annual Gay Pride Concert on Wednesday, May 23 at 8:00 pm at Act II Stages!

This year’s show is called “Show Me Broadway,” and features the music of some of Broadway’s most well-known musicals, including Chicago, Avenue Q, Cats, South Pacific, Rent, My Fair Lady, and more! Three very special (and well-known) guest performers, Mama Tits, Hedda Lettuce and Diana Villamonte will also

share the stage with the PVGMC at this show. These talented divas have been performing to sold-out crowds all season, and are sure to delight the audience with their tawdry wit and musical expertise.

Since its inception in 2012, the PVGMC has aspired to utilize the talents of gay men from Mexico, the United States and Canada.

This group is well known for performing music that entertains, enlightens and unifies the audience, as well as its own members. It has built bridges of greater understanding, acceptance and love

between communities, cultures, families and friends and is warmly embraced by the local Mexican community, as well as Ex-Pats and tourists of both cultures.

“This evening of musical theater features songs that are popular and well-loved! People will recognize them, enjoy them, and find themselves singing and dancing in the aisles,” says Alfonso Lopez, PVGMC’s famed music director for the past four years. Be sure and put this date on your calendar as a “Must Do” during Gay Pride Week!

pera soprano Vanessa Amaro presents ‘The Beautiful Voice’ featuring stunning renditions of works from Puccini, Verdi and others, accompanied by renowned pianist and composer David Troy Francis. May 10, 17 at 7pm.

Perro Bravo Productions presents Tomas Ustusastegui’s hit comedy ‘Princesas Desesperadas’, starring Juan Pablo Hernandez, Juan Carlos Ramirez, Cesar Trujillo, and Cesar Bravo. The story of four Disney Princesses who get together fifteen years after their “happily ever after”. Presented in Spanish, Princesses has sold out most of the previous four seasons of hilarious performances and contains adult language. May 12, 19, 26 and June 2, 16, 23 at 8:30pm.

Daniel LeClaire is a Jazz, Pop, and Soul recording artist who starred in Broadway’s ‘The Book of Mormon’ and ‘Hairspray’. He recently performed at Incanto to rave reviews and he’s back celebrating the Best of Broadway and the music of Michael Bublé, accompanied by Music Director/pianist Ron Bryant. May 19-26 at 7:30pm.

Gypsy Rumba plays flamenco, Latin rhythms on Sundays at 8pm.

Bandleader Cheko Ruiz will also present a tribute to ‘The Gipsy Kings’ on alternate Sundays (see calendar).

Paco Ojeda’s ‘Dinner and a Movie’ series is on Tuesdays at 7pm. Movies are shown on a new giant screen in air-conditioned comfort with a special dinner menu.

Hit comedy Greater Tuna starring Ron Spencer and Tracy Parks plays on Wednesdays at 8pm. The hilarious story of small town Texas with twenty-two eccentric characters played by just two actors and forty-two costume changes continues to gain popularity, with many returning for second helpings of ‘Tuna’. This is the first time the show has been presented during the summer season in Vallarta.

In the piano bar Tongo plays Latin/Cuban rhythms on his handmade flutes/ drums on Tuesdays at 5pm. Also select mornings on the riverside terrace.

Spanish singer/guitarist Santiago Martin sings flamenco

and Latin favorites on Tuesdays at 7pm.

Joby Hernandez plays pop/rock favorites in English and Spanish on guitar Wednesdays at 5pm. Also select mornings on the riverside terrace.

The Red Suitcases band plays classic rock/pop covers in English and Spanish Sundays and Wednesdays at 7:30pm.

Singer-songwriter Zoe Wood and Eduardo Leon (Piel Canela) play Nuevo Flamenco and Latin standards featuring originals and covers on most Thursdays at 5pm.

Open Mic is on Thursdays at 7:30pm. Sing, dance, play an instrument. The stage is yours.

Arrive early to sign up.

‘The Joan Houston Show’ with Bob Bruneau at the piano features The American Songbook Fridays at 5pm. Classic music and lots of laughs.

Luis Villanueva sings pop/classics in English and Spanish accompanied by Fernando Uribe at the piano/guitar on Fridays at 7:30pm.

Bingo with Pearl is on most Saturdays at 4pm. Drink specials, gift certificates and cash prizes.

Special guests Ballet Folklorico Tradiciones.

Cheko Ruiz and Alex Gonzalez present acoustic Latin/flamenco covers in the piano bar on select Saturdays at 7:30 or 9:30pm (see calendar).

Salsa dancing/lessons is on Wednesdays & Sundays at 8pm on the outdoor upper terrace. All welcome.

For online tickets with no booking fees and more detailed information visit www.IncantoVallarta.com. Open 9am-Midnight Tues-Sun. Casual dining available 9am-11pm. Incanto is located at Insurgentes 109 (at the Rio Cuale). Call 322 223 9756 for reservations.

Banco_VallartaCredito_IntercamDOBLEPLANA.pdf

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ISLAS MARIETAS TIME YOU ORDER A DRINK SAY -

ISLAS MARIETAS

Sin popote, por favor!

BY SEA TOWNS & COLONIAS BEACHES

RESORTS MALECON SHOPPING/ARTWALK

1. MARINA RIVIERA NAYARIT 2. NUEVO RIVIERA NAYARIT 3. MARINA VALLARTA MARINA 4. CRUISE SHIP TERMINAL 5. LOS MUERTOS PIER/ WATER TAXIS

LAND

TOWNS & COLONIAS &BEACHES AIR

RESORTS 1. CENTRAL BUS STATION MALECON 2. VERSALLES BUS STATION SHOPPING/ARTWALK 3. OLD TOWN BUS STATION 4. BUCERIAS BUS STATION 5. INT’L AIRPORT - PVR

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BY SEA

LAND & AIR

1. MARINA RIVIERA NAYARIT 2. NUEVO RIVIERA NAYARIT SHOPPING 3. MARINA VALLARTA MARINA 1. GALERIAS VALLARTA 4. CRUISE SHIP TERMINAL 5. LOS PIER/ WATER TAXIS 2.MUERTOS WALMART/SAMS CLUB

1. GALERIAS VALLARTA 1. CENTRAL BUS STATION 2 2. WALMART/SAMS CLUB 2. VERSALLES BUS STATION GOLFING 3. COSTCO 3. OLD TOWN BUS STATION 4. LACOURSE ISLA 1.

PACIFICO GOLF 4. BUCERIAS BUS STATION 5. PLAZA CARACOL 5. INT’L AIRPORT - PVR 2. BAHIA GOLF COURSE 6. MEGA/ LA COMER BUCERIAS 3. LITIBU GOLF 7.COURSE WALMART NUEVO VALLARTA

3. COSTCO 4. LA ISLA 5. PLAZA CARACOL 6. MEGA/ LA COMER BUCERIAS 7. WALMART NUEVO VALLARTA

SHOPPING

4. FLAMINGOS GOLF COURSE 5. EL TIGRE GOLF COURSE 6. & 7 VIDANTA 8. MARINA VALLARTA 9. VISTA VALLARTA

GOLF

1. PACI 2. BAHI POINT 3. LITIB 1. TURTL 4. FLAM 5. EL TI 2. WHAL 6. & 7 V 3. PLAYA 8. MAR 4. KISSIN 9. VISTA

5. EL CO 6. PUER 7. ESTER 8. PITILL

¿ Do you need glasses now ?

¡ STATE OF JALISCO

BUENAS ARIES

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RTO VALLARTA

GRINGO GULTCH CASA KIMBERLY HACIENDA SAN ANGEL

CIMBRE 11

CENTRO

HOT

EL R

OSIT A

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Tuesday - Sunday, 11:30 a.m. - 7:00 p.m Ribs, River, Relax, Rejuvenate! elriobbq • www.elriobbqbar.com

322-225-2202

AMAPAS Optica Oci Vallarta

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9

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CASA CUPOLA RESORTS BY PINNACLE

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EL NOGALITO

Featured Property

STATE OF JALISCO

BUENAS ARIES

CONCHAS CHINAS

PLA YA L O SAN S ARC VILL P A M LAYA EMP MAR OS ERC LO ERA INO EDE S M DOR S P UER A PLA T E T YA L R O O PIC TIT HO OS A SAN S ARC L A VILL P VAL MAR N H TEL A M LAYA EMP MAPRLAOS LAR RE OTE ERC HLO ERA INOYA EDE YSATM DOR T S L UER A CON S T LIN A SHO ORT P TRO ETI ZIVTO C H PI T H AS A DO R VALALMARGCAN H OCTEL PUE CA S CH MA ES PLA S LAR RREA OTE O R IN R YA C HYA A T TT Z ONC LI TA SH SONRDT L STA O VA KAR AS NDO POR FIE S IVA H M L U A L GRA CO PUERT CASAGSACHIN MARLAEYS STA R RE ART A AME SO A ND STA O VA KARRZAAS A P F S U M L I NTA RIC RT GAR PLAY ESTA UR RE LART A BLA A ZA B A PU AME SOR A H NC A R NEGR N O LAN NTA RICA T T N N E E A HOT CA R EGR L M SOR EL M ESO A OUS T OUS RT AII AII

PUERTO VALLARTA 5 DE DECIMBRE

CENTRO

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Puesta del sol 422 One Bed, One Bath, 806sf Asking $165,000usd

AMAPAS

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EL R

NES MARO AND R G A CA PLAY VENTURA E A S BUEN PREMIER AMBILLIA VILLA ATON BUG SHER S ET SECR AMBER NOW SOL O DEL CANT LAZA S ET P SUNS PELICANO A PLAZ ULES RTA

HOT

Turn-Key Downtown Investment Property

GRINGO GULTCH CASA KIMBERLY HACIENDA SAN ANGEL

OSIT A

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CASA CUPOLA RESORTS BY PINNACLE

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EL NOGALITO

CONCHAS CHINAS

MISMALOYA

30

TO EL TUITO

BARCELO

LOS ARCOS

MISMALOYA

30

BARCELO

LOS ARCOS

20

RTA

TO EL TUITO COLOMITOS LA TROVA CASITAS MARAIKA HOTELITO MIO

BOCA DE TOMATLAN

BOCA DE TOMATLAN LAS ANIMAS COLOMITOS LA TROVA XINALANI RETREAT CASITAS MARAIKA HOTELITO MIO QUIMIXTO

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3

21

Open throughout May

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LAS ANIMAS

QUIMIXTO

HOTEL LAGUNITA

MAJAHUITAS MAJAHUITAS RESORT

3

21

MAJAHUITAS

MAJAHUITAS RESORT XINALANI RETREAT

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HOTEL LAGUNITA

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PALAPA MARACUYA

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1219

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O

FING

IFICO GOLF COURSE IA GOLF TS OFCOURSE INTEREST BU GOLF COURSE LE RESCUE CAMP MINGOS GOLF COURSE IGREOF GOLF COURSEHOLE LE A TALE VIDANTA A ESCONDIDO RINA VALLARTA NG BRIDGE A VALLARTA

PALAPA MARACUYA 19

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CENTRO

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‘OLD TOWN’ ‘OLD TOWN’

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5

POINTS OF INTEREST 9. 5 DE DEC. CEMETARY 16. HIDALGO PARK 1. TURTLE RESCUE CAMP 10. MIRADOR CERRO DE LA CRUZ 17. THREE HENS MARKET 2. WHALE OF A TALE HOLE 11. MALECON 18. MARSOL MARKET 3. PLAYA ESCONDIDO 9. BRIDGE 5 DE DEC. CEMETARY HIDALGO PARK MARKET 12. VIRGIN DE LA GUADALUPE16.

CHURCH 19. MUNICIPAL 4. KISSING 13. LOS EMILIANO ZAPATA MARKET 5. EL CORA SANCTUARY 10.CROCODILE MIRADOR CERRO DE LA ARCOS CRUZAMPITHEATRE17. THREE20.HENS MARKET 14. ISLA CUALE 21. CUALE CULTRAL CENTER 6. PUERTO VALLARTA SIGN 11. MALECON 18.

MARSOL MARKET 15. LAZARO CARDENAS PARK 22. 5 DE DEC MARKET 7. ESTERO EL SALADO 12.PLAZA VIRGIN DE LA GUADALUPE CHURCH 19. MUNICIPAL MARKET 15. OLAS ALTAS FARMERS MARKET 23. HUANACAXLE MERCADO 8. PITILLAL

ORA CROCODILE SANCTUARY RTO VALLARTA SIGN RO EL SALADO LAL PLAZA

13. LOS ARCOS AMPITHEATRE 14. ISLA CUALE 15. LAZARO CARDENAS PARK 15. OLAS ALTAS FARMERS MARKET

20. EMILIANO ZAPATA MARKET 21. CUALE CULTRAL CENTER 22. 5 DE DEC MARKET 23. HUANACAXLE MERCADO

24. FOREVER SPRING MARKET 25. BUCERIAS ARTWALK 26. RIVIERA FARMERS MARKET 27.24.

MARINA ARTISAN SPRING MARKET MARKET FOREVER 28.25.

MOVIE + PICNIC ARTWALK BUCERIAS 29. RED CROSS 26. RIVIERA FARMERS MARKET 30. LOS ARCOS NATIONAL PARK

27. MARINA ARTISAN MARKET 28. MOVIE + PICNIC 29. RED CROSS 30. LOS ARCOS NATIONAL PARK

This charming colonial style unit surrounded by tropical vegetation features peek ocean views in a highly sought after downtown complex. The light and bright living room opens to a spacious covered terrace; perfect for morning coffee or afternoon sunsets.

The fully equipped kitchen features solid wood cabinetry, colorful Mexican tile accents and peninsula counter with bar seating. The spacious bedroom also opens to the outdoor terrace and has a walk in closet,

separate owners’ lock-off closet and lovely attached bathroom.

The secure and gated complex features 24 hr. security, parking, on-site administration, beautiful pool, fountains and mature tropical gardens.

Sold fully furnished and turn-key, this is a great opportunity to own an affordable place in the sun just a couple of blocks to the Malecon Boardwalk, beach and shops! b o a r d w a l k r e a l t y p v. c o m / properties/231274/

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local

May 10 - 16, 2018 www.vallartatribune.com

Get Here Sooner

by Investing in a Mexican B&B

H

ow do you escape the rat race, and give up working long days and dreaded commutes? Most people work hard all week and struggle to make ends meet, waiting all year for that one vacation in Mexico to get away and unwind.

What if that vacation in Mexico was actually your life?

Foreigners who are not financially ready to retire but are ready to enjoy life are investing in a rental property or home big enough to operate a B&B. Get a jump start on your retirement life while the rental income supplements your income.

Expats living in Mexico are enjoying an income and better quality of life by owning rental condominiums or running a B&B on their Mexican property. If you love meeting new people from all over the world and dream of living in Mexico, this could be your answer.

Owning a B&B takes a particular lifestyle, it is not for everyone, but people who love people will enjoy it. Providing exceptional hospitality ensures repeat business, and many people have developed long time friendships during a B&B stay. Cleaning and maintenance services are very reliable and affordable in Mexico leaving you free to enjoy your life.

Get Started

Choose a property tourists would appreciate. A B&B can command a higher rate if it is close to the action, shopping and the beach although it can be a difficult task to find a central location that is quiet enough for your guests to relax and enjoy their stay. Find the happy medium.

Although property is much less expensive off the beaten track and far from the beach, you may lose business if it is not a convenient location.

Get Legal Advice

Consult a reputable lawyer in Mexico, discuss the pros and cons of forming a corporation in Mexico they will guide you with the best options for you as a property owner and possible landlord in Mexico.

By creating a Mexican corporation, you can legally purchase real estate within the restricted zone (50 kilometers from the coast and 100 kilometers from the border) without a fideicomiso (bank trust).

Once you have decided on the property, the lawyer will ensure there are proper zoning and beach permits, guide you through the tax obligations, perform due diligence on the property, assist with the contract and closing of the sale, with guaranteed title deed on the property.

Get Accounting Advice

Do not make the mistake of assuming since the guest’s payment is deposited to your bank account in your home country you do not need to pay tax in Mexico; this is not so.

Any income earned in Mexico is subject to tax in Mexico. Property owners who ignore the tax laws may lose their rights as a property owner, face possible jail time, fines, and possible deportation from Mexico.

Professional tax accounts can advise you on Mexican tax laws, reporting obligations and find opportunities to lower your taxes.

Get Insurance

It is imperative you, your property and your guests are protected.

The policy should protect you from liability if a guest is injured. Inquire about loss of income protection in the event the property is damaged, and you can not accept guests.

Original: Mexlaw.ca

Palacio 199

R

ainbow Realty Broker Salvador Zuñiga, and his team are thrilled to present this opportunity. Palacio 199 is an established Bed and Breakfast retreat located in the heart of Puerto Vallarta’s most desirable neighbourhood. If you’ve been looking for a live/work opportunity – this is it.

Nestled on a hill in Zona Romantica, two short blocks from the famed Los Muertos Beach and a short walk to the Malecon, Palacio 199. This finely appointed, colonial style Bed and Breakfast boasts seven spacious bedrooms, each offering complete privacy and tranquil settings from all common areas of the house.

With a chef’s dream kitchen, trained and professional housekeeping staff, solar heated rooftop pool, skydeck, and spectacular palapa offering a view of the ocean, this beautifully maintained property also makes the perfect retreat for large families, groups, or business gatherings.

While this exclusive and most sought-after property already generates a great annual income, architectural plans will also be supplied for the addition of four suites should the further expansion of the property to be considered for additional revenue. Your palace awaits! Don’t miss your opportunity to live your dream in this extremely desired location and market.

Asking $1,349,500usd www.palacio199.com www.rainbowrealty.mx

real estate

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- A Live/Work Dream Fulfilled

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Office: 322.223.8054 www.rainbowrealty.mx Established Turn-Key Bed and Breakfast Palacio 199, Zona Romantica Situated in the most desired section of Puerto Vallarta, Zona Romantica, Palacio199, is a spectacular and finely appointed colonial style home which presently operates as a wellestablished seven private suite Bed and Breakfast and Tripadvisor’s #1 place to stay for guests visiting the area.

Asking $1,349,500 usd Contact: Salvador ZuĂąiga salvador@rainbowrealty.mx

THE TEAM

The team at Rainbow Realty is a group of dedicated professionals who have an in-depth knowledge and understanding of Puerto Vallarta and its surrounding areas.

We know that buying, building or selling a property is only one step in your journey and as a team of professionals, we will use our network to ensure that you maximize your investment and also your time.

RainbowRealty.mx

May 10 - 16, 2018 www.vallartatribune.com

events

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May 10 - 16, 2018 www.vallartatribune.com

Out Vallarta Jimm Lee

Jim@LivingVallarta.com

Jim Lee has been a resident of Vallarta for eight years, and is owner of Living Vallarta, a real estate, rentals, events and lifestyle management company.

Active in the gay community, he is a supporter of Act LGBT and Pride Vallarta, Act II Entertainment and Incanto Cabaret.

V

allarta Pride 2018 is just around the corner and celebrates its sixth year since Pride was first produced in Vallarta.

It is truly a collaborative ambrosia of special events produced by many Vallarta businesses and social groups, aided by the promotions umbrella of the Pride2018 organization. Here is just a snapshot of some of the highlights. Go to VallartaPride.com for full details on these events and more in this ten day-long celebration.

International March Against Homophobia – Thursday, May 17, 6:00-8:00 PM. Vallarta joins with the world to fight homophobia. Starts off at the Hotel Sheraton Buganvilias and ends at Los Arcos Downtown.

International Sunset Memorial Candlelight March -- Sunday, May 20, 8:00-9:30 PM. This event is sponsored by SETAC in remembrance and celebration of lives lost.

Starts at Hotel Rosita and ends at Los Arcos Downtown.

Steve Grand Live at Act II Entertainment -- May 21 & 23 at 7:30 PM plus May 26 at 9:30 PM. With over 10 million views on YouTube and a #3 album on The Billboard Independent Artists Charts, country pop singer Steve Grand sold out his run in advance at Act II at the beginning of this year, and now returns for another sellout encore week.

International Film Festival Screening – May 22, 7:00-9:00 PM at Villa Mercedes Hotel. The theme of this original film is “100 Reasons to Celebrate” the creativity and diversity of the LGBT community. Additional showings will be later in the week.

Check the website for dates and locations.

LGBT Artwalk – Wednesday, May 23, 6:00-10:00 PM. Starts at the Starving Artist Studio Gallery with free cocktail at the reception. A party to celebrate and enjoy our local art legacy.

Queens of the Day at Casino Life – Wednesday, May 23, 7:0012:00 AM. Enjoy a Vegas-style drag show with Karla Fifi. Discounted casino coupons and first two national drinks are free. To and from mini-van

transportation will be provided by Casino Life from Lazaro Cardenas park on the evening of the event.

Pride Parade 2018 – Thursday, May 24, 7:00-9:00 PM. Truly the highlight of the week, this parade sponsored by local businesses and organizations starts at the Hotel Sheraton Buganvilias, journeys along the Malecon and ends at Calle Olas Altas. Thousands of people are expected to line the cobblestone streets to celebrate the cities diversity and 100th birthday.

Special guests include Alejandra Bogue, international recording artist and Grand Marshal of Vallarta Pride 2018, recording artist Lorena Herrera and Puerto Vallarta’s local ambassador Hector Betancourt.

Come celebrate the diversity of our city regardless of the language that you speak, who you love or what you believe.

Block Party on Lazaro Cardenas Street – Thursday, May 24, 9:00 PM to 2:00 AM. Following the parade, join the fun at “La Fiesta en la Calle” giant Block Party on Lazaro Cardenas Street. The party continues to the wee hours of the morning. Some of the best bars and clubs of Old Town, including Club Fuego, La Noche, La Margarita, Mr. Flamingo, CC Slaughters, Spartacus and Los Muertos Brewing Company, will host the annual giant street party. Continuous entertainment on the street stage includes featured DJ’s and drag performers.

Official Women Only Party by Pink & Proud – Friday, May 25, 9:00 PM to 2:00 AM. Come enjoy the spectacular roof-top bar at El Sonador with live DJ. Drag Derby 2018 – Friday, May 25, 5:00-9:00 PM at the corner of Calle Pulpito & Olas Altas. Bet on your favorite drag queen and support the Amapas Neighborhood Association. This event is always full of surprises, live entertainment, great music and hot people.

Lorena Herrera Live – Friday, May 25, 10:00-11:00 PM at Teatro Vallarta. Enjoy a FREE concert with Mexico’s pop sensation. Lorena moved with her family to Mexico City, where she began a career as a fashion model. She became highly successful in Mexico, and gained an

international reputation, posing for advertisements in Mexico and South America. As a model, she won the “Look of the Year” contest, awarded in Mexico. Lorena then began working in Mexico’s low-budget films. She has been involved in more than fifty films since she began her career as an actress in soap operas. She also has created six albums, of which five are studio albums, and one is an album of remixes named Soy (Remix), released in 1997.For her work in the motion picture and recording industries as well as television, Herrera’s handprints were embedded onto the Paseo de las Luminarias in 2012. VIP tickets and packages are available at: http://vallartapride.com/en/store and FREE TICKETS are available first-come first-serve.

Adam & Steve Pool Party at Casa Cupula – Saturday, May 26, 12:007:00 PM. Two weeks left to lose that extra 5 pounds for this men-only swimsuit optional pool party with heated salt water pool, bar & grill, hot and sexy beats by CC Slaughters Nightclub resident DJ’s. $250 pesos admission with one free drink.

White Party Puerto Vallarta – Saturday, May 26, 6:00 PM – 1:00 AM at Mantamar Beach Club. This is going to be a big one with a Neon Circus theme. Also, don’t miss Mantamar’s Foam Pool Party the next day from 3:00-10:00 PM. NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK I can’t close out this issue without welcoming some new kids to the gayborhood. Lazaro Cardenas is now home to Katana (we finally have a sushi bar again) and Hardavos, a super chic and sexy roof-top lounge with entertainment and great drinks.

And if you are wondering, Paco’s Ranch is now under construction for their new location next door to Wet Dreams.

Amate Paper - Ancient Mexican Paper-Making Technique

A

n ancient paper-making technique still thrives in a small indigenous community in the heart of Mexico and it can be found for sale at many shops and markets in Puerto Vallarta and Riviera Nayarit including at the Friday Marsol Market at the pier. The paper is often combined with pieces of embroidered fabric from the Otomi people of Hidalgo, to create a beautiful indigenous work of art.

San Pablito, in the mountainous municipality of Pahuatlan in the central state of Puebla, is home to some 150 indigenous craftsmen who still manufacture “amate” paper using ancient Pre-Columbian methods.

“There are 60 families manufacturing this (type of) paper,” Luidben Perez Santillan, Pahuatlan’s head of culture, told EFE. A tour of San Pablito allows visitors to see the town dwellers’ home workshops, which feature large rustic pans filled with water, as well as wooden boards and the raw material for the paper: the bark of the red jonote and mulberry trees.

The amate paper production process starts with “jonoteros,” who scout the outskirts of San Pablito for trees five to six years of age and whose bark they proceed to scrape off with a machete.

A red jonote tree can grow to

a height of 10 m (32 ft) and yields as many as kg (25 lbs) of bark, which is then sold to craftsmen at 10 pesos ($0.45) a kilo.

To soften the bark, it is boiled for as long as eight hours in a mixture of water, lime and ash, during which time the women – who are usually in charge of this part of the process – must completely remove the material from the water at least three times to keep it from burning.

Then the bark is left to cool for a few hours, resulting in malleable reddish strips of material, which are then rinsed to remove all the resin, also used to color the fibers.

At this stage, the fibers are lightened with chlorine bleach, in which they soak for 12 hours before the papermakers remove the bits of hard bark.

“We select long and flexible strips,” Juan Santos told EFE. “We try for all of them to be of the same width.”

Next, the fibers are placed together on a wooden board and, using a volcanic stone, the craftsman beats them into a thin flat mass in different directions and with various degrees of intensity, until perfect angles and edges are achieved. The final stage consists of rubbing orange peels against the surface of the pulp, achieving a smooth surface.

The paper is then sun-dried on the board for more than 12 hours.

riviera nayarit

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May 10 - 16, 2018 www.vallartatribune.com

The Bucerias Beat

Busing Banderas Bay Bruce Howells

By Kiri Westby

busbanderasbay@gmail.com

kiri.westby@gmail.com

Kiri Westby is an international activist and a writer, whose unique blogs have been featured on HuffPost and Good Morning America, and translated into multiple languages. Kiri is a mother of two and a practicing Buddhist, who was born in Boulder, Colorado, but has lived all over the globe. She recently relocated with her family to Bucerias. Nayarit.

Under The Bay

I

’ve done a lot of snorkeling and whale watching over the years but, until this week, I had yet to scuba dive in our beautiful Bay of Banderas…and I call myself a “Bucerian!” I’ve always had a nagging desire to know what lies way down beneath these waters, especially around the magnificent Marietta Islands, now an ecological bird sanctuary and coral preserve.

It’s been ages since I was dive certified, so I was both nervous and excited when my friend Amy invited me to join her on a full-day, two-tank dive with Oceano Adventures, out of Punta de Mita.

The picture on my dive card is from my honeymoon so, thirty pounds and two kids heavier, I wondered if my body was even up to the challenge. Despite the fact that I lug a three-year-old around—while hauling a packed beach bag on the other arm—I hadn’t tested my ability to carry heavy oxygen tanks, nor navigate underwater currents, in over a decade. Emerging from my new-motherhood cocoon, I knew it was time to get back out there and finally go down under the Bay! Luckily, Amy was in the same boat (literally), and we made a pact to vanquish our diving fears together.

The kind and easygoing demeanor of our Dive Master Jamie Stickney, who spent a patient refresher-hour with us reviewing life-saving safety and recovery skills, alleviated all my anxiety. By the time we had helped each other squeeze our buxom bodies into tight layers of neoprene and clunked around the bottom of a pool, our laughter and mutual encouragement laid the foundation for a day full of trust, humor, and fun.

Three other novice divers joined us on the boat, and after a short, picturesque ride we were all staring at the electric blue feet of the Boobies and the craggy, crabby, caves that make the Marietta Islands so famous. Jamie explained that we

were floating above an “underwater mountain range” and my imagination sprang to life, equaled by excitement to finally see all that lies beneath. Descending below the water’s surface can be a daunting experience as your senses are engulfed in new sights, sounds, and sensations. One must push past the initial reflex to stay near the world we know and breathe, to make the ginormous, anti-species, leap in the realm of the gilled. The first thing you notice is how loud it is down there! From echoing boat engines to crackling coral, an underwater symphony clangs to the rhythm of the tides, while your own regulated breathing adds an eerie Darth Vader like cadence.

Once you find your equilibrium, the weightless exploring begins, and I could simply hover and watch a small patch of coral for hours without growing bored. From minuscule Christmas Tree Worms to fullsized Moray Eels and Electric Rays, life under the Mariettas is blooming.

The highlight of the day for me was surprising a fat, adult octopus that quickly squeezed his entire body into a tiny crevice and proceeded to stare me down, as if he was studying me right back. The variety of Pufferfish and the size of the Damselfish were impressive, and after eighty minutes of underwater exploration we were out of oxygen but full of visions and memories for a lifetime. Jamie delighted us on the ride back with stories of the giant Manta Ray she dove with two days earlier, and a flotilla of sea turtles the week before. I realized how much I’d missed the rare and privileged view of marine life that

A short refresher course in the pool and we were ready for the open water!

Bruce is a retired Canadian, who along with his wife Velma, took a “mulligan” on life and escaped the cold of Canada and settled in the Vallarta area. Fulfilling a retirement dream of not driving anymore, Bruce will use public transportation to tour the bay and tell his tales here. Tips and itineraries welcome.

Email: busbanderasbay@gmail.com

S

Amy Davis and Kiri Westby get ready to dive 60 feet below the Marietta Islands. diving provides, and felt immensely blessed to have re-discovered my passion for Scuba and my adoration for the millions of creatures populating our bay…and grateful for the strengthening of sisterhood to help me find my way back.

If, like Amy and I, you need a short refresher course and a little nudge to return to diving, or if you’re a first-time diver looking for a safe and fun experience getting certified, I can’t recommend Jamie Stickney at Oceano Adventures enough.

The care, professionalism, and knowledge she infused into the day made all the difference for us, and our boat crew was exceptionally helpful getting equipment on and off the boat, changing our tanks out during the day, taking photos, and keep us all hydrated and safe.

Visit www.oceanoadventures. com to book your dive trip today; I guarantee you won’t be disappointed…you may even run into me back down there.

Our crew after a successful dive teeming with marine life.

hortly after arriving in La Cruz, I was tempted by and succumbed to the opportunity of driving in Mexico with the following result.

Realizing it was Sunday, La Cruz market, day, I headed down the beach to the market. I purchased one fresh cheese bagel to eat at home, ten pesos. I should have splurged and bought two. Also scored strawberries and blueberries, and checked out the daily fish market. I enjoy the varieties of fish and shrimp and the interactions between vendors and tourists.

Realizing it was Sunday in mid-November meant Canadian Football League (CFL) playoff football. While La Cruz may be a Mecca of rock n roll music, it’s coverage of CFL football is somewhat lacking.

That meant a ROAD trip.

All the way to Bucerias, a fifteen-minute journey depending on your speed as you hit the “taupes”. (Taupes are speed bumps they put everywhere, sometimes they’re painted yellow and really easy to see, but mostly not).

There are several sports bars in Bucerias and the crowd was great.

Calgary seemed well in control at halftime so even though it was the CFL we left to head over to Mr. & Mrs. Fish, best in town and their clam chowder is amazing.

We heard music from the beach, so defying all logic, stopped watching a CFL game before the final whistle, finished our food and headed across the street for live rock n roll. And maybe some cold beer, it was after all thirty Celsius and sunny. The gods were kind that day, Calgary won. There will be no mention of the Grey Cup result as this is not a sports column.

One of our original plans for the day (actually the only one) was to go out in La Cruz and watch two of our favorite musicians.

We left the beach, headed home and freshened up. I parked by the side door of the bar and my wife could have stepped from the

vehicle, onto the sidewalk, up the stairs and into the bar to the table we sat at.

She decided to step on the road before stepping to the sidewalk.

“Help Help” resonated from the far side of the vehicle. Throwing caution to the wind, I jumped out, dashed around the vehicle and inquired what was wrong?

Some tall grass on the road had touched her leg.

Assisting my wife onto the sidewalk I locked the vehicle, thinking that I had not adapted to small town living, no more than ten feet away from the vehicle, the bar door was open, yet still I locked the vehicle. Hard to stop big city habits.

The band was amazing, playing with energy and passion and we stayed until closing, actually, a little past. I started looking for the keys and didn’t panic as I was wearing cargo shorts with many pockets to check and re-check.

There were no more pockets to check. We trudged out the door, shone lights in the vehicle and there were my keys dangling from the ignition! Not a big deal. I had an extra set at home so decided to call a cab and walk back the next morning.

What could go wrong with that plan?

Remember, Never a bad day in Mexico.

The cab was fifty pesos.

Stay tuned for the thrilling conclusion in my next column as I battle adversity before being rescued by a Canadian icon, the “RCMP”.

BANDERAS BAY SHOPPING AND SERVICES

Marsol Friday Market by the Pier

T

he fascinating story of “Papel Amate,” the ancient art form of turning tree bark into paper in Puebla State, has been written in English and is available at Fermin’s table at the Marsol Market.

The results are unbelievably beautiful. Indulge in more than just one piece; you will want to devote an entire wall.

Juan Manuel combines found objects with various types and gauges of wire to create all kinds of creatures including iguanas, birds with feathers, and

LOCAL FOOD. LOCAL PLACES. LOCAL PEOPLE Enjoy a Culinary & Cultural Journey though Old Town, Pitillal & Downtown Neighborhoods of Puerto Vallarta!

MX: 322-222-6117 US: 1888-360-9847

rated on

NEX T TOU R DEPARTS SOO N!

vallartafoodtours.com

Tel. (322) 222 2675, (322) 222 5402, w Celular: 322 175 0412 mundodeazulejos@hotmail.com www.talavera-tile.com

strange beings straight out of Juan Manuel’s imagination! JM’s jewelry can also take on quirky turns using shells, chunks of coral and sea glass mixed with semi-precious stones.

Nothing boring on Juan Manuel’s table, ever!

Ricardo Mazcal, our sage herbalist, can help with just about any problem, ailment or infliction that befalls his faithful clientele. As we age, things do change and often rapidly. Repair and reversal of hair loss, weight gain, wrinkles, and crepey skin

are just four of Ricardo’s specialties. If you have high blood pressure or cholesterol levels; falling or flat-lined libido (men AND women), go and talk to him.

Your life can only get better using natural, plant-based products that Ricardo creates from his great grandmother’s research findings and writings.

The Marsol Friday Market by the Pier is open from 9:30 am to 1:30 pm year-round. If you are an artist without a Market, stop by Friday and see Marcia.

www.vallartatribune.com

Three Hens & A Rooster Market

FABFABRICFELLOWS Aprons - Pillows Masks - Cooling Ties

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ur first Market day at Encanto Restaurant was fabulous!

Set up went without a hitch and everyone – vendors and clients - were delighted with our new summer home.

Fresh paint, bright lights, live music – happiness and joyous energy filled our Market. Jeanine (our Head Hen) and Gloria Sue completely sold out. What began with a somewhat awkwardness grew into an amazingly comfortable fit; much to our surprise, relief and ongoing renewal. Thanks to everyone who showed up; it meant the world!

Heads up for this coming Saturday: straight from the Olas Altas Farmer’s Market - Peter Hardy and Mark Hughes, the Bagel King and Pie Guy respectively - will be there with all their best offerings. Many types of low-fat bagels,

Three Hens & A Rooster Market Aquiles Serdan 518 Saturdays 9 to 1 Contact Bill Kelly at

unonumerobomb@gmail.com

MURPHY’S irish pub Located on the Historic Malecon across from the lighthouse statue (El Faro) beautiful sunset views every night!

gorgeous cinnamon buns, and bread from Peter. Mark will bring sweet and savory individually-sized pies with the most amazing crust in Vallarta and assorted quiches.

Don’t forget Hawaiian rolls and carrot cake from La Dulce Vida and Ausel and Alan have a cool new coffee bar! Try before you buy or sit and chat over great Chiapas organic coffee.

Ticker has his jewelry

Delicious traditional pub menu.

Live Rock Music - Wed - Sat @10:30pm Watch all sports w 2 satellites.

Pool Table.

484 Morelos - 2nd floor - Centro Vallarta Open daily 11 am

next to his mom’s hand-crocheted pot holders, and trivets and Margareta’s table sparkles with silver and stones. See Carol-lynn’s artistry enlivening her niche; remember to see her dolls, they are adorable!

Kristian and Agne’s salsas

Murphys Puerto Vallarta

are finding their way into tourist and expats’ kitchens; what great looking, edible gifts!

Three Hens & A Rooster Market is open from 9 am to 1 pm every Saturday at Aquiles Serdan 518 in Old Town Vallarta.

Intelligent Movement Forever Classes At Yoga Vallarta

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oga Vallarta is offering an Intelligent Movement Forever specialty class this spring and summer. Yoga and Movement Coach Via Anderson will teach this class every Thursday from 1-2 pm starting May 3. The class will continue through August 9.

The drop-in rate for

the class is 250 pesos.

There are class packages available, including a local discount package.

Yoga Vallarta is located at Basilio Badillo in Old Town.

Does it hurt to move? Is the quality of your life curtailed by immobility and pain? Do you want to change that?

This class will help you: · Eliminate chronic pain

naturally · Stand and sit taller · Increase mobility and body awareness, - Reduce the risk of falling · Feel and look younger.

What is Intelligent Movement? It is movement that is aware, aligned, and pure or becoming aware, aligned, and pure.

Age is just a number and

you can tame the pain when you learn how to move well.

All experience levels and all ages are welcome.

Join this class and be ready for some changes in the way you move and the way you feel!

For more information, go to yogawithvia@gmail.com or www.intelligentmovementforever.com.

Sherry Vallarta HOME DE’COR

Personal Shopper

Buy & Sell ~ Anything & Everything

sherryvallarta@yahoo.com 044 322 137 7063

VOLUNTARIO / VOLUNTEERING VALLARTA THE JAY SADLER PROJECT MAKING A DIFFERENCE

www.jaysadlerproject.com

EL PROYECTO JAY SADLER HACIENDO LA DIFERENCIA

COMMUNITY SERVICE / SERVICIO A LA COMUNIDAD

Marsol Friday Market by the Pier Three Hens & A Rooster Market on Saturdays

mexicasupplement@gmail.com

www.thewitcherysalon.com

20

local

The Long Drive Series

Tom Stickney

May 10 - 16, 2018 www.vallartatribune.com

La Cocina

James Nash

tom.stickney@puntamita.com

Twitter @JamesNashPV

Tom F. Stickney II is the Director of Instruction and Business Development at Punta Mita, (www.puntamita.com) He is a Golf Magazine “Top 100 Teacher,” and has been honored as a Golf Digest Best Teacher and a Golf Tips Top-25 Instructor. Tom is also a Trackman University Master/Partner, a distinction held by less than 15 people in the world.

A believer that a simple, flavourful meal shared with friends is one of our life’s true joys, a local resident of Vallarta, James (aka Jimmy) shares his knowledge and passion for the culinary arts, local architecture and real estate.

Moving Day Starting New

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Fix Your Equipment

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urrently technology has provided us with the best tools to be able to make sure you have the best driver set up for you. In fact, there is no excuse for hitting a driver that is incorrectly fit to your swing and game when so many facilities have launch monitors. Couple launch monitors with a qualified professional clubfitter and you have the recipe for longer drives.

Setting up your driver to have optimal launch and spin characteristics is the simplest way to hit it longer. However, if you have uncentered contact or the wrong settings or shaft on your $500 dollar driver it will fight you tooth and nail. So, remember fine tune your driver to your own INDIVIDUAL swing and you will have a much easier time hitting shorter irons into the greens!

Watch the YouTube video for complete instructions: https:// youtu.be/awGZ54yeOpU

SPCA of Puerto Vallarta

By Janice Gonzalez e opened our sanctuary in January of 2012 on the outskirts of Puerto Vallarta. We are a no-kill shelter and can house up to 130 animals at once. We rescue and find permanent homes for over 250 animals each year. The mission of SPCA de PV is to help fund and promote sterilization, adoption and health-

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care efforts for companion animals in the Puerto Vallarta area, with the goal of eliminating the euthanasia of healthy and adoptable animals.

Our main focus is to rescue the abused, homeless animals from Puerto Vallarta’s streets and place them in foster homes in both the United States and Canada until permanent homes are available.

iven the current changes we have coming up all across Mexico;Federal and Local elections plus our changing weather, it seemed like a good time to mix up my life and move homes.

I put my home up on the market this past year when it became evident that mentally, and perhaps more so, emotionally I will never be able to embrace this home as my own after the death of my spouse last year. A funny thing happens when you are living in a place that you both loved. You find yourself struggling to move on, but at the same time it feels odd when you make changes to your home and especialy, in my case my garden.

So once it looked like my home would sell I started to look at options for a new place to call home.

Now you would think being a realtor this would be an easy thing, but maybe knowing the city the way I do as well as knowing I can be happy in a lot of locations across our bay area, I knew I needed professional help!

I looked online at all the new listings that met my criteria and went to see many, empty lots, projects, houses with driveways, houses with steps, views, no views, the list goes on. The truth is that I had to stop and realize

that on most of my days I still go to an office, at least once a day.

So that helped me to narrow down the search. Our traffic has gotten quite bad during the winter months and that combined with a schedule that more resembles speed dating than a normal work life I decided being close to my office made sense. That realization, as I push forward with my new life here in Vallarta, happened with my realtor and also a person who is my best friend.

I realized that in talking with him, I was talking about more than just the walls. We were having the conversation that I always have with my clients. What is this home for you? A place to gather? a rental property? How do you plan to use it and for how long?

All these questions that for me are so easy to ask others just

were not working in my brain.

Then I realized that I was making a change not based on my desire to leave something behind but to start new. This change was very different as I was starting new alone, for the first time in over 20 years, and that had made this decision easy to put off.

So, as we go over the next few months, I am moving to a temporary home by the river and starting a construction project on a new home. Something that I already feel completely overwhelmed by as I was never the designer in our life. At the same time, I have a clear idea of the outcome I am looking to achieve. I had to remind myself, I do know some of the best local designers and architects, after all, everyone has offered help, something I will be saying yes to a lot over the next few months.

We are not supported by the government, corporations, foundations or businesses. We fully function on private donations. Animals are often found living on the streets after being discarded and/or extremely abused. We devote ourselves to their physical and emotional rehabilitation and invite everyone to join one of our escorted tours and interact with the animals at our private shelter.

We offer one tour per week during the summer months, either Tuesday

or Thursday, and special arrangements are necessary. Contact us at spcapv@gmail.com.

To see our animals available for adoption, visit our Facebook page at www.facebook.com/spcapv.

There are photos as well as individual albums of our rescues which include a bit of their background.

Please be aware that our adoption fee within Mexico is $2,000 pesos.

Contact us at spcapv@gmail.com to obtain an adoption application.

To make donations via PayPal,

select the “Donate” option on our Facebook page www.facebook. com/spcapv or on our website at http://spcapv.com/donate/.

You can drop off any donations for the SPCA at Hacienda San Angel located at Calle Miramar 336, above Our Lady of Guadalupe Church in El Centro. Get involved…rescue, adopt, foster, volunteer, donate or educate. You can learn more about the SPCA Puerto Vallarta by checking us out at www.spcapv.com/ home or on Facebook.

charities

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May 10 - 16, 2018 www.vallartatribune.com

Viva La Revolución

By John Warren

M

any people search their heart for the Meaning Of Life but I have a less ambitious goal: I’m searching for the meaning of the street names in Puerto Vallarta. Last week I wandered along Insurgentes from the Rio Cuale and came across the streets of 5th February and Aquiles Serdan and this week I meandered along the shaded sidewalks of the street named after Francisco Madero, the father of the Mexican Revolution.

Francisco Ignacio Madero González chose his parents carefully and so was born rich, in Parras, a small, agricultural town up in the hills in the state of Coahuila.

He studied in the USA and in Paris in the 1890s and then returned to Mexico to manage farms owned by the family in San Pedro, Coahuila. So far, so good.

However, since 1876, when Madero was just three years old, the country had been in the iron grip of Portfirio Diaz, a dictator who was intolerant of political opponents and passed land reforms that stripped peasants of their land. The rich were

getting richer and the poor poorer.

Sounds familiar?

In the early 1900s, unrest among poorer Mexicans began to build.

In 1903, a political demonstration against the Díaz regime was violently crushed and Francisco Madero and liberals like him began to call for a more democratic government. By 1908, Diaz started to feel the heat and promised that the 1910 elections would be free and fair and, at the same time, Madero became leader of a new political party. As Election Day in 1910 neared, it became clear that Madero would win so Díaz reneged on his promise of free elections, had Madero jailed, and won the fraudulent election.

Madero was soon bailed out of jail, escaped and called on his fellow Mexicans to revolt and overthrow Diaz. His plan called for an uprising starting on November 20, 1910, to restore the Constitution of 1857 and to replace dictator Díaz with a provisional government. Its main purpose was to establish a democratic republic.

Rebel armies organized by

Emiliano Zapata, Pascual Orozco, Casulo Herrera and Pancho Villa rose up all over Mexico and, because these men were soldiers not politicians, they recognised Madero as the political leader of the revolution.

In May 1911, Díaz relinquished power and a provisional government was formed. Six months later, on November 6, 1911, Madero was elected president of Mexico. But he was pretty naïve as a politician and soon ran into serious political opposition from remnants of the old-guard regime and the military, especially Commanding General Victoriano

Huerta. Huerta got together with the American Ambassador, Henry Lane Wilson, and the ex-president’s nephew, Felix Diaz, and engineered a coup d’etat. Madero was arrested and, four days later on 22nd February 1913, just fifteen months after he was elected president, he was shot.

Madero was a moderate. His policy of “fairness and honesty” would have worked in a perfect world but the dirty chaos of the Mexican Revolution favoured the less scrupulous. He is remembered as one of the few good guys of Mexican politics.

The “Calle”, which derives its name from President Francisco Madero, is an interesting one. On the western end is, of course, the Malecon. It was hot last Friday when I was there, so I bought myself a glass of tuba from the immaculately white-suited Concepcion, who has been pedalling his drinks from a gourd for ever, sat on a wall and watched a group of beach vendors playing cards next to me. Wandering up the street I checked out the barbacoa place, just half a block off the Malecon, where the proprietor sells his wares for just $12 pesos each. I could have had a choice of chorizo, bistec, alsada or “al pastor” but I was, as Winnie the Pooh would say, on an explore. I walked past Pelequeria Alex, a unisex hair place where a cut costs $70 pesos, Paula Boop, the dressmaker, and then crossed Insurgentes. Now I was into the hotel zone and saw signs for the Ana Liz, Cartegena de Indios, Azteca Economica and Villa del Mar hotels. At the far end of the street, in typical Mexican style, is a beautiful looking block of townhouses that fits elegantly into the landscape.

Calle Fco. Maderos is a great mix of Mexican residential, commercial services and bedrooms for tourists.

It’s a cool place to visit.

Anglican Church Puerto Vallarta Formerly Christ Church by the Sea Worldwide Anglican Communion

“Celebrating conservative family values” Services Sunday 10:00 a.m.

English-Traditional Holy Communion All faiths welcome-Casual Dress

ADORABLE DOG IN THE SPOTLIGHT...SCOOTER

by Janice Gonzalez

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his loving boy is most deserving of a forever home of his own. When Scooter was first rescued he had to drag himself because his back legs did not function. After extensive physical therapy he is now able to use his back legs and gets around fine although his hips and back legs will always be weak. He is a Labrador mix, about five years old and weighing 55 pounds. Scooter is just an absolute sweetheart who

enjoys all his humans and especially any attention he can get!

He is a very happy dog and loves playtime with other dogs and his toys. He has a medium/high energy level. Scooter is not good with cats, however. He has been neutered, dewormed and vaccinated and is now available for adoption. We are looking for a special home that will love him forever and give him the best of care. If you would like to adopt Scooter, contact us at spcapv@gmail.com to request an application.

How cool it is! Yes, we are now celebrating in our air-conditioned Chapel. Come join us!

Fr. Jack continues to welcome people from all walks of life and denominations.

Across from airport, northbound service road next to Sixt and Thrifty Car Rental Blvd Fco. Medina 7936, Puerto Vallarta Questions? Father Jack Wehrs e mail: jackandshirley1@att.net Text 1 619 300 7377 Tel 044 322 229 1129

Web site: www.anglicanchurchpuertovallarta.org Complimentary parking at Sixt Rental Car

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May 10 - 16, 2018 www.vallartatribune.com

local

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May 10 - 16, 2018 www.vallartatribune.com

Vibes & Vices: Vallarta Food Tours “Taste of Pitillal” AJ Freeman

cosmiccapt@gmail.com

AJ Freeman is an adventurous spirit, serial friendmaker, and general enthusiast. He lives his everyday life hoping to demonstrate the nearly infinite potential for discovery and wonder on this small wet rock orbiting a dim yellow star in the backwoods of the Milky Way.

Good food is the single greatest joy in life.

I

ntellectual endeavour certainly has its appeal, as does the other pleasurable pursuit that typically minds to come during discourse on the more exquisite ecstasies in existence. Still, for me, the first bite of something truly scrumptious is as good as it gets in this physical form.

You see, I am fully in tune with my inner child, and he is definitely a chubby kid...and so, when I got the opportunity to sample the wide-ranging wares of El Pitillal, a rare 9am wakeup call and 600 words or so were small prices to pay for 3 hours of curated culinary exploration.

The Vibes: For folks who rarely stray more than 5 blocks in either direction from The Pier, “Pitillal” is probably just that strange word they print on reciepts at the Wal-Mart near the marina. However, this city within a city is well worth discovery even if you don’t wander around the world looking for flavorful delights to shovel into your fat face as a profession.

Just a few minutes from the high-rise, high-dollar hotels on the waterfront lies a more typical representation of life in the area. This working-class community invites curious visitors and boarders of the wrong bus to partake of local culture, and like countless small towns across Mexico, is centered around a plaza in front of the main iglesia.

El Pitillal’s town square is the backdrop for everyday attractions including wandering musicians, cultural celebrations, and the occasional parade, but on this sunny Thursday morning I found myself at the nexus of the community under the taco tutelage of Shawnie, longtime local resident and master of the touring arts.

The rest of our group was a fun foursome from Indiana who had been in town just a few days, but had already picked up the local custom

of drinking Electrolit after a long night of partying.

Clearly, we were all ready for a little something to eat.

The Vices: Okay, so correlation does not equal causation, and I get that, but the fact is that I have never started a bad day with carnitas. The first stop on our tour offered these tasty pork tacos along with fresh made agua jamaica, giving cause to consider once more just how the heck they make flower water taste like refreshing cranberry Kool-Aid. Next up was a quick stop at a churro cart for a hot and sugary treat that somehow disappeared out of one hand before the other could reach my camera. Happens sometimes, man.

We walked through the streets lined with little stores specializing in just about every imaginable class of item: handmade huaraches and tortillas along with artisan aromatherapy candles, custom-designed fragrances, and mariscos freshly fished from all that water just a few blocks over. I made a particular note to return to the party supply store to find more fun and fabulous things with which to decorate myself daily.

After a quick carne asada at another nearby eatery, we arrived at a sit-down restaurant for the presentation portion of our tour. Shawnie put her extensive knowledge of food culture on full display, outlining the history of the region’s most iconic dishes as well as fun facts about the restaurants that served them.

Shrimp and octopus tostadas were served with seafood consomme and a traditonal side of cerveza (full disclosure: the beer wasn’t included with the price of the tour, but this gig with the Tribune ensures I’m always good for at least 30 pesos).

Our tour of the town was more than just an eating experience, it also offered us an opportunity to reflect on the local way of life. One of our stops was at the famous San Miguel Arcángel Parish, home to an imposing 25-foot tall statue of Jesus the Christ ascending to the heavens

carved painstakingly from a single tree. If I may say so, it was not only more flattering than the standard depiction, but highlighted a much better use for wood.

We witnessed the production of cheese tamales, ate tortillas hot off the presses--even better with a little of Jalisco’s own Valentina--and nibbled on just about every animal in the barnyard during this deliciously

engaging three-hour tour.

Finishing up with fruity frozen treats at a paleteria was a perfect choice, and as I took another bite of my glowing green limesicle, I was reminded once again that everyday humans of today regularly eat better food than the kings of yesteryear.

That, my friends and followers, is a reason to savor this most unlikely lifetime.

The Verdict: Vallarta Food Tours offers an range of tour types, including edible excursions in Centro and booze cruises in Old Town. Still, for hungry travellers looking for a different angle on the local cuisine scene, a tour of El Pitillal is well worth setting your alarm clock for.

Maybe I’ll catch you there...probably a bit later in the day.