Valley Bugler Newspaper August 2018 by Valley Bugler Newspaper

Page 2 • Valley Bugler • August 2018

From the Editor’s Desk Yes, it's really true. I am selling the Valley Bugler Community Newspaper. Looking for someone who has a passion for the community, understands business and marketing, and would maybe even consider keeping me on as Publisher and Editor if they want. ☺ My life has expanded here in the Seattle area, and this blessed paper really needs someone who can provide you with a smiling face and local visits. I've been doing fine the past five years (FIVE!!!) while living up in Renton / Issaquah, but with my new exciting job as an Elementary Music School teacher, it's time to pass the paper to someone with a vision to bring joy and laughter into the community. The Valley Bugler Community newspaper was created from the ashes of The Advocate, a local paper that circulated in the Castle Rock community, and closed down when The Daily News bought it out. The Valley Bugler first began as a quarterly mailer in 1998. Due to demand for affordable advertising, owners Candy and Bill Richey quickly realized the demand way outpaced their quarterly, and began a monthly community paper, the one you're currently reading. Yes, this paper is celebrating 20 Years of business in 2018! Run successfully for ten years by the Richeys, and building a solid reputation as a community paper that provided nothing but good news, jokes, events and puzzles, it grew into one of Southwest Washington's

favorite monthly papers. My ex-husband and I purchased the paper in 2007, and through continuing the positive principals of good business and community first philosophies, grew it to double its circulation size and tripled the locations where it was offered as a free paper. You can find the Bugler (if you're quick at the beginning of the month!!) between Centralia and Woodland, and everywhere in between, with the heaviest concentration in Longview/ Kelso and Castle Rock areas. Deliveries happen the very last few days of each month to ensure we're in the racks by the 1st to start your month off GREAT! Do you know someone that is in sales or marketing, or even a business owner that is looking to capitalize on a great business that has solid footing in the newspaper industry, consistent and loyal clients, incredible readership ☺♥☺ and is turnkey and ready to roll under new and LOCAL guidance. It's really very important to me that my baby is handed off to someone who has local experience and roots, and is interested in helping grow the community as a whole through positive, good news! Maybe that's you. I don't know. All I know is that I have been called to something different at this time of my life. Something that is within my passion and training and degree - Music Education! I'm back! Life has taken an interesting tack these past few years, but I can

Valley Bugler, LLC Longview, WA (360)414-1246 www.ValleyBugler.com editor@valleybugler.com

Editor/Publisher: Michelle Myre Copy Editor: Tom Reich Web Manager: Oscar Myre IV Distribution: Diana Jones Advertising: Michelle Myre Columnists: Blake Peterson: Movie Reviews Georgia Butterfield: Adoptee Georgia Cox: Castle Rock Seniors Oscar Myre IV: Geek Speak Paddy Elkins: Fruits & Nuts

say that I am much more settled with who I am as a person, and that my journey as Publisher / Editor / Sales / Designer / Business Manager of The Bugler has come to an end. Spread the news! Share the paper with your friends and family! I'll keep running this until I can find that person(s) that will take this beautiful community publication and help it continue to grow in its legacy.

**The Valley Bugler newspaper publishes content supplied from columnists, and is not responsible for factual mistakes or anything other than the occasional spelling error. The Valley Bugler retains a neutral stance on ads, issues and articles printed, unless otherwise stated. Columnists may not always submit material for each month.** eMail: editor@valleybugler.com

Phone: (360)414-1246

Web: www.valleybugler.com

/valleybuglernewspaper

So this month, I hope that you enjoy this summery issue that August brings to our doorstep. Fun, festivals, sunshine and lazy evenings are hopefully a part of your docket! Until next month,

Michelle Myre Publisher / Editor

Art in the Park • Aug. 18th It's that time of the year again! Art in the Park joins together with Squirrel Fest for a beautiful Saturday full of family fun. Vendors, applications are still being accepted, so please visit the Broadway Gallery, or the ColumbianArtists.org website for information. If you enjoy browsing flea markets or Farmers Markets, and appreciate art and craft type commerce as well, this is your cup of tea. Then, if your "significant other" doesn't really care for that, there's a plethora of other fun with the Squirrel Fest at the same time. Coming August 18th to the Longview Civic Circle, you can browse the juried exhibit of fine arts and crafts that are also offered for sale, as well as meet the artists behind the beautiful pieces. Multiple styles and genres of art

will offer much for the appreciation of those looking. Live art demonstrations, art activities, and delicious food vendors provide for a wonderful outing in Longview. Squirrel Fest draws thousands of people from both around and outside the area, and will provide the perfect compliment to the vendors with foot traffic and purchases. On the Squirrel Fest side of things, this year there is a Bed Race, which is sure to create some laughs and great entertainment. Other activities include karaoke contest, tight rope walking, juggling, pole balance, unicycles, plate spins, trolley tours, live entertainment, and of course a plethora of huge squirrels and nuts abound. Food, too. Get the family and friends together and visit downtown Longview Civic Circle for a wonderful day of fun!

August 2018 • Valley Bugler • Page 3

Mossyrock Blueberry Festival August 3rd-5th August Festivals & Area Events This is the “not bored” list!

Be sure to hang onto this issue of The Valley Bugler, full of upcoming Festivals and Community Events for the month of August, and mark your calendars with fun. Saturdays & Sundays all Summer in Long Beach, WA Enjoy Face Painting, a Horse & Wagon and other fun family things to do at the world’s longest beach! One such special event is the week-

ly sidewalk chalk coloring contest, usually held on Saturdays. Another fun adventure is horseback riding on the beach, or flying kites. Long Beach, WA longbeachwa.gov/summerfest Summer Concerts at the Lake. From 6 to 8 p.m Thursdays at Lake Sacajawea thru August 16th. mylongview.com July 25-28, 11am - 11pm Cowlitz County Fair & Rodeo! Don't miss: cowlitzcountyfair.com July 27-28th Finnish American Folk Festival offers up plenty of fun, music and food. www.nasellefinnfest.com July 31 - August 4 Clatsop County Fair at the fairgrounds in Astoria, on 109 acres overlooking the Walluski River: www.clatsopcofairexpo.com

August 3-4 Deep Canyon Challenge www.oregontunaclassic.org August 3-5 Annual Vernonia Friendship Jamboree and Logging Show. www.vernoniachamber.org August 3-12 Clark County Fair at fairgrounds in Ridgefield. Tons of info online: www.clarkcofair.com August 8-11 The Astoria Regatta "Making Waves!" Since 1894, celebrating the beautiful Lower Columbia area with four days of festival fun! www.astoriaregatta.com August 9-12 Annual Loggers Jubilee in Morton. www.loggersjubilee.com August 9-12 37th Annual Seaside beach volleyball tournament! So fun! www.seasidebeachvolleyball.com August 10-12 Mount St. Helens Bluegrass Festival in Toledo. washingtonbluegrassassociation.org August 14-19 SW Washington Fair in Chehalis. www.southwestwashingtonfair.org August 16-18 Wahkiakum County Fair at the County Fairgrounds in Skamokawa 360-795-3480 August 18 Annual Jazz and Oysters celebration in Oysterville. Where music and good food and drink combine! 360-642-2400 funbeach.com August 18 Longview Squirrelfest at Civic Center. www.LVsquirrelfest.com See FUN EVENTS, cont. on p.5

Prepare your senses for some delicious fun at the Mossyrock Blueberry Festival this August 3 - August 5! With everything from car, dog and quilt shows to a family friendly 5K run/ walk, your weekend in Mossyrock is bound to be full of tons of fun. And blueberries. Don’t forget the blueberries! Plenty of musical entertainment is included with the nominal festival admission of only $3.00 for those ages 7 and over, $2.00 for youth ages 6-17. Under 5 free. And of course, the Parade and Car Show are FREE. Also at the Festival will be a Kids Art Event (Art Trails and held on the 4th. Art Tent open 10am-4pm, art supplies provided and prizes awarded!), 3-day quilt show, Car Show, Blueberry Desserts Contest, Bouncy Toys, Playground, Pie Eating Championship (Different age groups), Parade. The Blueberry 5K / 8K Trailrace is August 4th, and takes racers across

the Mossyrock Dam, the highest dam in the state of Washington. While visiting Mossyrock you may want to buy some blueberries from a local farm and visit the flower fields and show garden at the DeGoede Bulb Farm. Better yet, make your visit part of a longer trip staying at one of the hotels or camp grounds along the beautiful stretch of White Pass. Most events including vendors, stage shows, pie eating contest, and parking will be held in Klickitat Prairie Park just south of State St. or the Community Center. The parade will be on State St. The car show is held on the school grounds while the Tail Race starts on the south side of the Mossyrock Dam. LIVE MUSIC ENTERTAINMENT! Check out the list of great bands and performers and the parade, listed below in our ad. [Take Exit 68 off I-5 onto Hwy 12 East for approximately 21 miles] www.MossyrockFestivals.org

Page 4 • Valley Bugler • August 2018

Understanding the Serious Nature of Mini-Strokes stroke warning signs and what to do in a stroke emergency: Understanding the Serious Nature of Mini-Strokes

F - Face drooping A - Arm weakness S - Speech difficulty T - Time to call 911

(Family Features) Knowing the warning signs of a mini-stroke could help save a life. A survey conducted by the American Heart Association/American Stroke Association shows one-third of United States adults have had symptoms consistent with a transient ischemic attack (TIA), also known as a mini-stroke, but only 3 percent called 911 for help. "Ignoring any stroke signs could be a deadly mistake," said Mitch Elkind, M.D., chair of the American Stroke Association Advisory Committee. "Only a formal medical diagnosis with brain imaging can determine whether you're having a TIA or a stroke." The survey showed 35 percent of respondents experienced at least one sign of a TIA or mini-stroke, such as sudden trouble speaking or a severe headache with no known cause. According to the online survey, those who suffered symptoms were more likely to wait it out, rest or take medicine rather than call 911. Stroke is a leading cause of serious,long-term adult disability in the United States and among the top five causes of death. However, with proper, timely medical attention, stroke is largely treatable. The faster you are treated, the more likely you are to have a positive outcome. The American Stroke Association's Together to End Stroke initiative, nationally sponsored by Medtronic, teaches the acronym F.A.S.T. to help people remember the most common

While the symptoms are the same, the difference between a TIA and a stroke is that the blockage is temporary, lasting between a few minutes and 24 hours. People who suffer a TIA, sometimes called a warning stroke, are more likely to have a stroke within 90 days. Elkind said anyone who experiences a stroke warning sign that appears suddenly, whether it goes away or not, should call 911 immediately. This could improve the chances greatly. Stroke symptoms come on suddenly with no known cause and may include confusion, trouble speaking or understanding; weakness of the face, arm or leg, especially on one side of the body; trouble seeing; trouble walking, dizziness, loss of balance or coordination; or a severe headache. Stroke is the fifth leading cause of death in America and a leading cause of adult disability. Yet, research shows that too few people know what a stroke is and recognizing one. To learn more please visit: www.StrokeAssociation.org Photo courtesy of Getty Images #13202

[Editor's Note: It is my strong belief that my mother was experiencing TIA's prior to her death. Severe headache when coughing or laughing, and for no explained reason. Since she died from a massive stroke, this may have been TIA. Had we known this prior, we would have called 911, and perhaps things would have turned out differently. Perhaps not. Whatever the case, please call 911 if you or someone you love has experienced something like described in this article.]

'A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken.' ~James Dent

Movie Reviews By Blake Peterson

Ant Man and the Wasp Directed by Anthony and Joe Russo Starring Chris Evans, Robert Downey Jr. Running Time 2 Hrs., 40 Mins., PG-13 My Rating: B+

Ant-Man (2015) was a delight, in part, because it was so undemanding. Its sequel, Ant-Man and the Wasp, is no different: it is about as good, just with a few more inventive size-dependent action set pieces. It takes place shortly after the events depicted in the first Ant-Man movie. That film’s primary bad guy, petty criminal Scott (Paul Rudd), has been placed under house arrest after participating in the supers vs. supers battle in 2016’s Captain America: Civil War. His affiliates, the greyed scientist Walter (Michael Douglas) and his no-nonsense daughter, Hope (Evangeline Lilly), are in hiding as a result, and have since cut ties with him. But in Ant-Man and the Wasp, which begins around the time Scott’s two-year sentence is coming to an end, this feud is going to have to be put on hold. Scott has begun having visions revolving around Janet (Michelle Pfeiffer), Walter’s wife who has been trapped in the microscop-

ic quantum realm for more than 30 years. (She, who moonlighted as the Wasp decades ago, sacrificed herself to neutralize an explosive device during a covert mission.) Scott would like to pass his visions off as dreams. But they’re so vivid that he feels the need to tell his exassociates, who themselves have always believed Janet might be alive but have never quite had the requisite evidence to back themselves up. Reluctantly, Walter and Hope let Scott back into their lives, and cunningly help him leave his house to assist them in Janet’s rescue. In the period since we saw them last, Walter and Hope have been working on an electronic tunnel that will allow them to safely enter and exit the subatomic realm. The project is nearing completion. Obstacles arise throughout, as would be expected. Some criticism has been directed at Ant-Man and the Wasp’s patchwork of semi-villains and plots. Yet I was neither turned off by Ant-Man and the Wasp’s busyness nor its deficiency of an outright antagonist. The storyline’s overelaborate structure works with the mania of the action sequences. Any movie that so adeptly uses the underrated Michael Peña, whose comedic timing is matchless, is certainly worth something. Ant-Man and the Wasp: the Marvel Cinematic Universe is neither improved nor worsened for hosting it. But in the scope of the more or less operatic superhero genre, something so breezy is easy to value. After sitting through the post-credits sequence — for once a necessary component — I can’t wait to see what happens next. A student at the University of Washington, Blake will major in Visual Communications or Journalism. petersonreviews.com

August 2018 • Valley Bugler • Page 5

August 1 • Day

Long live the Rodeo! Whether it’s a million dollar Professional Rodeo Cowboy Association (PRCA) event or it features riders in a county fair, we love our rodeos. In the 1700s, Spanish vaqueros started it all, but they couldn’t envision events in some of today’s contests, such as chuckwagon racing, barrel jumping, and events for cowgirls. They would recognize the bronc riding, bull riding, and tie-down roping. During the early 1800s, people pouring into the West from the eastern states came in contact with Spanish, Mexican, Californio and Texas cowboys. They adapted their styles and tradition of working on ranches. Before long, cattle from the Southwest fed the huge population of the Eastern United States. Once or twice each year, ranchers would round up their cattle and organize long drives, taking them to markets in places like Kansas City. At the end of the long drives, cowboys would hold competitions with their own hands and those from other outfits, to see who had the best riders, ropers and drovers. With the coming of the railroads, the cattle drives ended and there were far fewer jobs for cowboys. Some began to take jobs with a new American phenomenon, the Wild

The

West Show. Over time, cowboy contests and Wild West shows melded into the modern rodeo, with 2,000 of them held in the United States and Canada each year. Have some fun with your family this month - get out and see a Rodeo, and have some good fun. WASHINGTON RODEOS: July 26-28 Thunder Mtn. Pro Rodeo Longview, WA 98632 August 3-4 Yakima Valley Fair & Rodeo Grandview, WA 98930 August 9-12 Omak Stampede Omak, WA 98841 August 14-15 Lynden PRCA Rodeo Lynden, WA 98264 August 18-19 Pend Oreille Cusick Rodeo & Fair Cusick, WA 99119 August 23-25 Enumclaw Pro Rodeo Enumclaw, WA 98022 August 23-25 Kitsap County Stampede Bremerton, WA 98310 August 25-26 Klickitat County Fair & Rodeo Goldendale, WA 98620

Lighter side ☺

FIRST GRADERS The first graders had settled down to coloring books. Little Pauly came up to the teacher's desk and said, "Miss Francis, I ain't got no crayons." "Pauly," Miss Francis said, "you mean, "I don't have any crayons.' You don't have any crayons. We don't have any crayons. They don't have any crayons. Do you see what I'm getting at?" Pauly: "Not really; what happened to all them crayons that nobody ain't got?"

ANNUAL BOSSES NIGHT At an annual Bosses Night dinner, where legal secretaries sponsored their lawyer bosses, it was time to announce the Boss of the Year. The master of ceremonies began: "First of all, our winner is a graduate of Harvard Law School, so that already eliminates some of you as candidates." "Our winner also is a partner in a downtown law firm," he went on. "That eliminates some more of you." Our nominee is honest, upright, dedicated..." A voice from the audience cut in: "Well, there go the rest of us!" SMART ALECK After buying her kids a pet hamster, after they PROMISED they would

take care of it, Mom, as usual, ended up with the responsibility. One evening, exasperated, she asked them, "How many times do you think that hamster would have died if I hadn't looked after it?" After a moment, her youngest son replied quizzically, "Once?"

IDEAS TO INSPIRE KINDNESS *pick up trash at a local park *visit an elderly neighbor with a glass of lemonade *pay for the person behind you in line at the store *help carry out someone’s groceries *play with children at a park *leave quarters at the laundromat *compliment someone on their outfit or physical feature, even if you don't know them *write positive sticky notes and leave them around town *donate used books to the library or neighbor *bake someone a cake or special treat and bring it over to them *write a handwritten note to a child who could use extra attention *put a coin in an expired parking meter *bring your coworker coffee *encourage someone who seems despondent *leave a generous tip for a pleasant waiter or waitress *surprise a friend with a special note of gratitude *help a teacher with school supplies *help others around you find the positive in a negative situation *take some flowers to the nursing station at a hospital *buy socks and gloves for the homeless, then hand them out personally *thank a veteran or military member with a card or special item *call a family member you haven’t talked with in a while to see how

of Kindness

they’re doing *buy a small gift for someone, just because *let another car merge ahead of you in traffic *purchase a $5 gift card and give it to someone random *make and carry “thanks for making my day” cards you can give to people *tweet or Facebook message a compliment to someone *cook a meal or do a load of laundry for a friend having a difficult time *sincerely compliment your boss *listen intently *create a holiday to celebrate someone you love, or develop a fun family holiday *share overheard compliments *send mail to Cards for Hospitalized Kids, which then delivers the cards to children in US Hospitals *donate through Amazon.com Smile program *call seniors in your neighborhood after a storm or icy event to make sure they're ok *take flowers to the hospital for nurses *take cookies to the local firestation or police station *say thank you more often *smile. At everyone. ☺

FUN EVENTS, cont. from p.3 August 19 Untouchables Car show in Kalama www.kalamachamber.com August 20-26 WA State International Kite Festival in Long Beach. Info and events: www.kitefestival.com August 24-25 Oregon Tuna Classic in Ilwaco www.oregontunaclassic.org August 24-25 Hood-To-Coast Relay starting at

Mount Hood, ending in Seaside www.seasideor.com August 24-26 Chehalis Garlic Fest & Craft Show. www.chehalisgarlicfest.com August 25 Annual Unique Tin Car Show and Swap Meet with cruise. Totally. www.uniquetin.com/ August 25 Hub City Car Show in Centralia www.chamberway.com

Page 6 â&#x20AC;˘ Valley Bugler â&#x20AC;˘ August 2018

Sponsored by: Columbia Auto Center

Car Care EVERYONE Can Do (Family Features) While taking your car to an auto service professional is a great way to ensure its performance, the Car Care Council reminds vehicle owners there are few simple vehicle checks that they can easily learn and do themselves to save a little money and help keep their vehicles running efficiently all

summer long. With basic knowledge of common maintenance practices and a little time, motorists can inspect the following components in their own driveway: • Check the tires, including tire pressure and tread. Uneven wear indicates a need for wheel alignment.

Tires should also be checked for bulges and bald spots. • Check all fluids, including engine oil, power steering and brake and transmission, as well as windshield washer fluid and antifreeze/coolant. • Check the hoses and belts as they can become cracked, brittle, frayed, loose or show signs of excessive wear. These are critical to the proper functioning of the electrical system, air conditioning, power steering and the cooling system. • Check the wipers and lighting so that you can see and be seen. Check that all interior and exterior lighting is working properly and inspect and replace worn wiper blades. Keep the reservoir filled with windshield washer fluid. • Install new windshield wipers every six to eight months. Why so often? The rain in the Northwest means we are using them often, which deteriorate the effectiveness of the blades. To change your blades, begin by lifting the arms of your wiper blades like you were going to wash the windshield. Then, most models have a tab on the underside of the wiper, push on the tab and it should release your blade. Click the

new blade in, and be careful not to scratch your windshield or damage the blade. Once you've done it once, it is relatively easy to do again. ☺ • To keep the cooling system working effectively, the coolant and distilled water mixture for a vehicle’s radiator should be 50:50. Never open a hot radiator cap when checking the coolant level in the reservoir. As a rule of thumb, the coolant should be changed annually on most vehicles. • Check the gas cap to ensure it is not damaged, loose or missing to prevent gas from spilling or evaporating. • Replace your air filter every year. Check your owner's manual for location under the hood. • Don’t neglect the exterior. When washing the outside, make sure to include the tires and wheels and the underside and fenders to eliminate any road salt or grime. The body of the vehicle should be washed using a product sold specifically for cars. Wax your vehicle every six months. To learn more about how to care for your vehicle, and for a free copy of the popular Car Care Guide, visit www.carcare.org Photo courtesy of Getty Images

Page 8 • Valley Bugler • August 2018

Submitted by Georgia Cox AUGUST Events Every Monday: Our delectable Cinnamon Rolls and coffee will be served to the public from 10am to NOON. Suggested donation is

only $1.50 for these delicious concessions. A great way to start your week! Every Monday, Wednesday & Friday: Get that heart rate up and get healthy with Senior Yoga classes at 8:15am to 9:15am, and Senior exercises from 9:30am to 10:30am. Every Wednesday: CAP offers Nutrition Meals for Seniors at the Center at NOON. Suggested donation is $3.00, PLEASE call #636-

2118 (by Monday) for reservations. Every Thursday: Quilting projects will take place from 10am - 3pm and fun Pinochle games are played in the Center later at 7pm and open to all who are interested! Every Friday: Lunches by reservation only, will be served in the Center at NOON. Must Reserve by calling 636-2118 by Monday. SPECIAL EVENTS: Thursday, August 16th: Commodities will be distributed from 10am - 1pm. Have a valid punch card. NOTICE: "Write Your Life Story" will return in September. NOTICE: Bingo will return in October. Readerboard has announcements. Castle Rock Senior Center 222 - 2nd Ave • Castle Rock WA (360)274-7502

Just Some Small Town Humor This town is so small . . . - The City Jail is called amoeba, because it only has one cell. - Main Street, which is one block long, dead ends in both directions. - McDonalds only has one Golden Arch. - The phone book has only one page. - The 7-11 is a 3&1/2 - 5&1/2. - The New Year's baby was born in October. - The ZIP code is a fraction. - The city limits signs are both on the same post. - Second Street is in the next town over. - There's no place to go that you

shouldn't. - A "Night on the Town" takes only 11 minutes. - The mayor had to annex property to eat a foot-long hot dog. - It has an aquarium -- stocked with a live minnows - The town newspaper is published monthly ☺ - The town is named after EVERYONE'S distant relative. - It was founded on April Fools' Day as a practical joke. - The Ice Cream store has only two flavors, chocolate and vanilla. - The New Year's baby was born in October - The 7-11 is open from 8-5

Four Year Olds...and Other Mysteries By Paddy Elkins Valley Bugler Columnist Vacation Bible School at Castle Rock Christian Church was so much fun! Sue Edwards and I had the four year olds: The first morning in chapel, Miss Kit, the VBS Director, said the Opening Prayer, and by the time the prayer was over and I opened my eyes, the four year olds had used every pencil and paper left in the pew ahead of us, and had every Bible and Hymn Book out and open and ready to "color". Our trusty assistants, Miss Kyra, Miss Anna and Miss Chrissy, helped Miss Sue and I restore order to our row and retrieved all the Hymn Books and Bibles, and put them safely out of reach. The second day, thinking we'd outsmart them, we asked Miss Chrissy to remove everything from the pew except the four year olds. But, by the time Miss Kit finished her Opening Prayer, the four year olds had removed all the rubber grommets from the wooden communion cup holders in the pew, and had them on their fingers like so many black olives or wedding rings! It took the rest of chapel to retrieve the grommets and to put the grommets back in place, and I vowed never to close my eyes during Opening Prayer again! The rest of VBS week went OK. I kept my eyes open during chapel and Miss Sue bravely tackled stories about Jesus - The Parable of the Lost Sheep; The story of the Prodigal Son; the one about Paul and Silas praising God in jail at midnight during an

earthquake! (I'd forgotten about that one!) The wonderful story about Lazarus! And other stories. After story time, we shepherded the four year olds to recreation time, snack time and craft time, where other teams of semi-traumatized adults took over inter-acting with the four year olds for a time, and then we returned the four year olds to chapel for singing, Closing Prayer and announcements, before returning them to their grateful parents or daycare providers. I'm not certain that the four year olds learned anything at VBS, although we seriously DID try to love them with the love of the Lord, and to give their parents a well-needed break. However, I learned something at VBS: I learned that four year olds can turn anything into something fun to play with and enjoy if you give them enough time to use their imaginations; I learned that staying in perpertual motion even while continually snacking is probably the secret to remaining slim and trim like a...well... like a four year old! And I learned that I simply do not have the constitution to handle much time inter-facing with human beings under five, but I certainly applaud those who DO! So if you know any parents of preschoolers, for Heaven's Sake, give them a big hug and put them on your Prayer List! Paddy Elkins invites your feedback! You may Email her at: paddyelkins@gmail.com or call her at 360-751-5231.

The nice part about living in a small town, is that when you don't remember what you are doing, someone else does...

August 2018 • Valley Bugler • Page 9

KIWANIS CLUBS

CATHLAMET 1st Tues. 6 p.m. at the St. Catherine’s Catholic Church; 3rd Tues. at Sugar Lillies at noon. CHEHALIS - Thursday 12 p.m. at “The Restaurant” in Sunbirds. CLATSKANIE - 1st & 3rd & 5th Tues 6 p.m. at Fultano’s; 2nd & 4th Tues 12 p.m. Colvin’s. KELSO LONGVIEW - Every Thursday at noon. Kelso Senior Center (Catlin Hall). Richard (360)636-3906 SCAPPOOSE- 1st & 3rd Wednesday 6:30 p.m. Windemere Real Estate Office) ST. HELENS - Thurs. noon at the Elks Lodge (350 Belton Rd, St Helens). ST. HELENS DAYBREAKERS - Tues 7 a.m. at Warren Country Inn, Last Tues 6pm Columbia Soil and Water District Office AMERICAN LEGION GLEN HOYER POST 175 meets in Castle Rock every 1st & 3rd Tuesdays, 7:30 p.m. For info call 423.9542. The LADIES AUXILIARY to Glen Hoyer Post #175 of the American Legion meets first Thursdays. For info call 423-9542. AMERICAN LEGION GUY RATHBUN Post #25 meets the 2nd Thurs. of the month at 7 p.m @ Kelso Eagles For info Kandi 423.2504 BUFORD ROCKAFELLOW POST 101, The American Legion, and Auxiliary meet 2nd Friday each month at Winlock Community Building. Potluck 6 p.m., meeting 7 p.m.. For info Post Commander Wendy Carolan 360785-0929 or Adjutant Phil Carolan at (360) 785-0929. KOREAN WAR VETS ASSOCIATION CHAPTER #321 of SW WA meets the 3rd Wednesday of each month @ 10am; Vancouver WA. Call Commander James Mead (360)907-0592 for information. KELSO-LONGVIEW ELKS LODGE #1482 meets Thurs at 7:30 p.m. for our members only. Dinner is served before Lodge at 5:30 p.m. Lunches are served Monday-Friday 11 a.m.-2 p.m. 900 Ash St., Kelso. 360.425.1482. TOUTLE VALLEY VFW POST & AUXILIARY #10882 meets 1st Tues 7p.m. Post Home, 101 Hansen Road in Toutle. Info: Doreen 360-270-4445 TOLEDO VFW 3429, Reg. Meeting 1st Monday, Potluck at noon, meeting at 1 p.m. COWLITZ VALLEY VFW POST 1045, Meeting 2nd Wednesday, 9:00am Bingo on Tuesdays @ 6pm, with

dinner at 5pm, 4311 Ocean Beach Hwy, Longview The COWLITZ VALLEY VFW LADIES AUXILIARY POST #1045 Meets 1st Thurs, 6:00pm, Breakfast for members & guest 9-11am served 2nd Sat. For info Kathe, 360-577-2592 4311 Ocean Bch Hwy, Longview CENTRALIA CWO ROBERT M. DOWLING POST #2200 Meet 2nd Tues, 7:00pm, 111 1/2 W. Main St, Centralia WINLOCK - LEWIS AND CLARK POST 3409 Meet 1st FRI, 6:00pm, Veterans Memorial Field Clubhouse, 575 Nevil Rd, Winlock SUNNYSIDE GRANGE #129 meets the 1st & 3rd Thursdays. 6:30 for potluck, 7:30 meeting. Call 274.6013 for information & rental hall. SILVER LAKE GRANGE 2nd and 4th Thurs. Potluck 6:30, meeting at 7:30 p.m. Info Anita Morgan 748-8098, Rentals call Claudia Hunter 274-5263 CATLIN GRANGE #199 2nd & 4th Fri. 6:30 p.m. Potluck dinner 2nd Friday. 7:30 meetings. More info: 423-2122; Rental call Barbara Wilburn: 425-5970. PLEASANT HILL GRANGE # 101 2nd Monday. 6:30 p.m. Potluck, meeting @ 7:15 p.m. Community Service group meets Thursdays @ 10am. Info & rentals call Zula Bryan 360-425-6101 ROSE VALLEY GRANGE #9453 2nd Tuesday, 7p.m. Info & Hall Rental: Nicole Nickel 360-431-3175 WOODLAND GRANGE #178 1st Thursdays 7:30 p.m. 404 Davidson, Woodland. Info & rentals call John Burke 225-9888 CASTLE ROCK WOMANS CLUB meets every 2nd Monday at 1 p.m. 206 W. Cowlitz Street. Business meeting & program. Public iinvited. Info: 274.8149. THE PYTHIAN CASTLE 24 holds their meetings every 2nd and 4th Thursday @ 1 p.m. at the Castle Rock Womens Club, 206 Cowlitz St. West, Castle Rock. THE CASTLE ROCK LIONS CLUB meets the 1st & 3rd Thursdays at Hattie’s Restaurant @ 5:45 p.m. The club sponsors newspaper recycling. R Square D Square Dance Club: Sept - May. 2nd Fri & 4th Sat. 7:30 pm Plus, 8:00pm - 10:00pm Mainstream with Rounds. $5 admission Kelso Senior Ctr 636-1993 LONGVIEW MONTICELLO LIONS meets 6:30 p.m. 2nd and 4th Mondays, dinner and speaker at The Carriage Restaurant in Longview, WA.

LONGVIEW EARLY BIRD LIONS meets at The Carriage Restaurant on the 1st Wednesday @6pm, 3rd Wednesday @6:45am. VADER LIONS CLUB meets 1st Thurs @ 6 p.m. & 3rd Thur @ 7 p.m. at club building on Hwy 506 in Vader for a potluck dinner and meeting. Info: 295-3087 or 295-3801. KALAMA LIONS CLUB 2nd & 4th Mon. of month, 7:00pm Kalama Comm. Bldg., 126 N. 2nd St, Kalama,Wa. All welcome. www.e-clubhouse.org/sites/kalama.com LONGVIEW PIONEER LIONS CLUB meets every Tuesday at noon at the Longview Eagles Club (152612th Ave) Visitors welcome. WINLOCK LIONS CLUB meets the 1st and 3rd Thursdays of each month at 12 p.m. at Guadalajara Restaurant, off SR 505. Visitors welcome. Call 7853744 info KELSO LIONS CLUB meets 1st & 3rd Monday @ 6:30 p.m. at Kelso Presbyterian Methodist Church. Call Gary 423-7181 ROSE VALLEY GRANGE #953 meets 2nd Tues. @ 1pm, & 4th Tuesdays @ 6 p.m. 1520 Rose Valley Road, Kelso. Info: Becky 575-3977 or Debbie 414-9627 COWLITZ COUNTY VETERANS ASSOC. meets the second Friday of each month. CALL 577-6757 for locations. LONGVIEW REBEKAH LODGE NO. 305 Meets the 1st and 3rd Saturday each month at the IOOF Hall, corner of Pacific and Pine, Kelso, 1 p.m.. Info: 1-866725-3507 CASTLE ROCK EAGLES, celebrating their 100th birthday, meets at the Eagles Aerie on Huntington Ave. @ 8 p.m. every 2nd & 4th Tuesday for the Aerie & Auxiliary. KELSO EAGLES meet 1st and 3rd Tuesday at 7 p.m. Aux., Aerie meets at 8 p.m. Initiation 3rd Tuesday. BINGO MonWed-Fri @ 6:30 p.m. Special Charity BINGO Monday 12 - 3 p.m. Call 425-8330 for info. CASTLE ROCK FREEMASONS 3rd Mon @ 7:30 p.m. at Lodge located on SW First Ave DAUGHTERS OF THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION, MaryRichardson Walker Chapter. rootsweb. ancestry.com/~wamrwcdar/ FRIENDS OF CASTLE ROCK LIBRARY, 1st Mondays from 10 - 11 a.m., Library 137 Cowlitz St. West in Castle Rock WORSHIP & RECOVERY meeting, Sunday @ 1 p.m., refreshments. Positive faith group meeting. 1260 12th Ave., LV S.C.O.R.E. - Free counseling & guidance for small businesses by the nation-wide of S.C.O.R.E., Kelso/ Longview Chamber of Commerce, 1563 Olympia Way, Longview, WA. DISABLED AMERICAN VETERANS: 1st Fri of the month at 1 p.m. @ 1639 10th Ave. 577-5890, and Auxiliary meets the 2nd Friday of the month at 11 a.m. 423-3125

MT. ST. HELENS CLUB - meets 2x week to hike on a rural trail in SW Washington &/or NW Oregon.  Location and info: mtsthelensclub.org or 360- 673-2799 NATIONAL ASSOC. OF ACTIVE & RETIRED FEDERAL EMPLOYEES Longview - Kelso Chapter 1070, meet the 1st Wednesday @ 11:30 a.m. at the Monticello Hotel, Longview. Info: 423.6032. LOWER COLUMBIA WOODCARVERS Tues 5 - 7 p.m. & Thurs. 1 - 4 p.m . @ LV Senior Center 274-3175 LONGVIEW BORDER CROSSINGS Volks walking meet on 2nd Tuesdays at St. John’s Hospital, Longview, @ 6:30 p.m. Cafeteria Sam Korff 503-728-0400 KELSO ROTARY Meets Thursdays at 12 p.m. Lunch available to purchase. Kelso Longview Elks Lodge Call 414-5406 for more information ALTRUSA of Longview/Kelso meets Thurs from 12-1 p.m.. Lunch served $5 at all meetings except Board. Meet at Altrusa room at CAP. THE SPIRIT OF FREEDOM Christian Intervention program for the chemically dependent, meets Wednesday 6 p.m. at Landmark United Pentecostal, 4333 Ocean Beach Hwy, 360-636-0580 LONGVIEW GARDEN CLUB meets 10am. 4th Thurs. Jan. - November; Sept. - Oct. Nov. & Dec. meetings are on the 3rd Thurs. Grace LutheranLongview. 425-0755 Lower Columbia Genealogical Society 7:00p.m. 2nd Thurs @ Somerset Retirement Home, 2025 Tibbetts Dr., Longview. Visitors welcome. Info: www.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~walcolgs/index.htm COWLITZ BEEKEEPERS ASSOCIATION meets the 3rd Thursday each month, 7 p.m. @ 3 Rivers Bible Church 102 Harris Street, Kelso, 360-749-9040 OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS of Longview meets Thursday @ 5:30-6:30pm at 1414 12th Ave, Longview. Info: Gloria 360-749-7449 or www.oa.org NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) "Connections" Open Support Group Mondays @ 4-5:30pm & Thurs 12-1:30pm. Counseling avail. Call (360)703-6722 Kelso office: 109 Allen St, Kelso WA Kalamas GFWC AMALAK women's service club 1st & 3rd Thurs from Sept - May at Community Center, 216 Elm street in Kalama at 7:00 p.m. Call 360-901-1791 CASTLE ROCK TOPS # 0740 (Take Off Pounds Sensibly)Thurs 9:30am, St. Paul's Lutheran Church, 312 First Ave. Darlene: 703-5042.

"Down in their hearts, wise men know this truth: the only way to help yourself is to help others." ~Elbert Hubbard

Get Puzzled...

Page 10 • Valley Bugler • August 2018

Summer Jokes Where do sharks go on summer vacation? - Finland

What did the beach say as the tide came in? - Long time no sea.

When do you go at red and stop at green? - When you're eating a watermelon.

Why don’t oysters share their pearls? - Because they're shellfish.

Why do bananas use sunscreen? - Because they peel. What does the sun drink out of? - SUNglasses.

Why don’t mummies go on summer vacation? - They're afraid to relax and unwind. Why can’t basketball players go on

summer vacation? - They'd get called for traveling! First woman: My son came to visit for summer vacation. Second woman: How nice! Did you meet him at the airport? First woman: Oh, no. I've known him for years! Why was it so hot in the stadium after the baseball game? - All the fans left! What do you get when you combine an elephant with a fish? - Swimming trunks.

Do fish go on vacation? - No, because they're always in school. BASEBALL At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" Yes, coach" replied the little boy. " Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative. "So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn't argue, curse the umpire, or call him an idiot. Do you understand all that?" Again, the little boy nodded in the affirmative. The coach continued, "And when I take you out of the game so that another boy gets a chance to play, it's not a dumb decision or that the coach is a dunghead is it?" "No, coach." "Good", said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your grandmother." LEAVE IT TO ME The Easterner had always dreamed of owning his own cattle ranch, and finally made enough money to buy himself the spread of his dreams in Wyoming. "So, what did you name the ranch?" asked his best friend when he flew out to visit. "We had a heck of a time," admitted the new cowboy. "Couldn't agree on anything. We finally settled on the Double R Lazy L Triple Horseshoe Bar-7 Lucky Diamond Ranch." "Wow!" his friend was impressed. But looking around he saw no cattle. "So... where are all the cows?" "None of 'em survived the branding."

COUPON Central

August 2018 • Valley Bugler • Page 11

Host an Exchange Student About ASSE Hosting• An International Student Exchange Program. Share your home for a year, enjoy a friendship for a lifetime. When you host a foreign exchange student, your entire family will discover a world of fun and enlightening adventure. Simply by sharing your home for as little as three months, a semester or a school year, you will be giving an exceptional young person from another country the opportunity of a lifetime—to live with your family and experience the language, customs and culture of our country. In return, your exchange student will bring to your family a bit of his or her homeland. Students come from Europe, Asia/Pacific, the Middle East, the Americas and Africa. Each year, ASSE and its affiliates place several thousand exchange students, ages 15 to 18, in host families like yours throughout the world. ASSE International Student Exchange Programs invites you and your family to join all the families in our country and throughout the world in this memorable and valued cultural experience. Having an ASSE exchange student in your home is much like having an adopted teenage son or daughter from overseas. ASSE students do their share of the family chores and are eager to participate in your family's leisure activities. Your ASSE student doesn't expect red-carpet treatment; he or she wants to learn about our country by living as a "native" rather than as a guest. And as your student experiences and responds to the new surroundings and day-to-day activities of your family and community, you will find a new way of looking at those things you often considered commonplace. Your family will also receive a fascinating cultural education about everyday life in your student's home country. In fact, the rewards are far-reaching–your student's classmates, instructors and the entire community will be enriched by interacting with your ASSE Exchange Student. As the school year progresses, your family will grow close to this new family member, developing a bond that will endure thousands of miles and last a lifetime. A tearful goodbye will

come all too quickly, but you and your exchange student are sure to keep in touch. Some day, your entire family may even visit your foreign friend in his or her home country. Before a student is considered for the ASSE program, he or she must exhibit exceptional qualities. Students are selected on the basis of their academic standing, fine character and proven ability to get along with others. This is determined through interviews, written recommendations and academic records – so you may be sure the student who comes to your home is a bright, exemplary citizen. When you and your student meet face to face for the first time, ASSE doesn't want you to feel like strangers. That's why your family will be involved in the selection process; you'll read an autobiographical essay or "Dear Host Family" letter by your student, and once approved you’ll see a photo collage of your student in his or her home environment among family members and friends. In addition, to get a head start on cultivating your friendship, you'll have an opportunity to correspond with each other before your student's arrival. Once your student arrives, your ASSE Area Representative will be available during the entire stay. Contact ASSE today, visit their website at: www.asse.com or call the Western Office at (360)577-9797 in Kelso, WA. [See ad on p.5]

Meet: 'Callie'

Adorable Adoptee

Callie is a playful high-energy girl with an athlete's body. She is muscular, with not an ounce of fat on her. This girl keeps in shape! ☺ Her favorite type of exercise? Playing fetch. She'll fetch anything you throw, whether it's a ball or a stick or a rawhide chew. She'll wear you out! Callie is a social girl, who has the biggest grin on her face when she's happy: her entire face becomes transformed in her 'happy grin.' She looks like a goofy cartoon character when she smiles. Such a funny girl. She immediately flops in front of you for belly rubs, the moment you get near her. She's just a big ol' goofy dog. We think the best home for Callie would be with an active family. Although she has gray on her muzzle, she is an active girl and would be an

excellent jogging partner, or your best buddy as you're hiking or exploring the Pacific Northwest. Please contact Paula (pjstoppler@ msn.com) for more information about this pet. Are you looking for a specific type of cat or dog for your family? Want to bring a sweet animal into their new forever home? Then visit Rescued Paws and all of their available breeds and types of animals up for adoption online at the www.petfinder.com website. Type in Rescued Paws, Longview WA and it will come up.

Page 12 • Valley Bugler • August 2018