Page 2 • Valley Bugler • September 2018
From the Editor’s Desk Have you ever had those times where you feel like your brain is going to literally explode? Like, kaboom. Well, that's where I've been at for the past few weeks, and especially the past couple of days. Preparing for a new job teaching elementary school music, wrapping my head around being a teacher again, working this newspaper, and finalizing a long divorce process....it's been a lot, to say the least. During these times of trial, we see those around us that reach out in love and concern. My children especially have been very attentive and verbal towards me with both encouragement and actually pitching in with chores. Without being asked. I know, right? Wow. They can sense that mom has a short fuse. They're not stupid. ☺ Here we are wrapping up summer in the next few weeks, and all I want to do is whine and complain that I didn't get my "full summer" time. I want to stamp my feet and shout that the smoke kept us all inside when we wanted to be outside exploring and
playing in this glorious Northwest vicinity. First world problems. Really, they are. I had been whining about my situation to myself when I found out some news about a dear friend. Shocking news that her cancer that she had fought thirteen years ago had re-occurred. It was back and she's now fighting for her life once again, with a terrible situation before her. Her beautiful 2 year old daughter and husband crowd my mind. Talk about redirection of priorities and concerns for my own life. Suddenly, my trials became moot. They shrank in comparison with what I saw as a true challenge in life - fighting cancer. Fighting for life. My little complaints were just that - little. Petty. It was a wonderful shift of focus for me, and actually helped inspire some more creativity as I prepped for my sweet little Mozart's to arrive this next week. I had stopped grumbling, and started singing again. The reality check allowed me to come back into what is really important in this life, and find the strength to deal
Valley Bugler, LLC Longview, WA (360)414-1246 www.ValleyBugler.com editor@valleybugler.com
Editor/Publisher: Michelle Myre Copy Editor: Tom Reich Web Manager: Oscar Myre IV Distribution: Diana Jones Advertising: Michelle Myre Columnists: Blake Peterson: Movie Reviews Georgia Butterfield: Adoptee Georgia Cox: Castle Rock Seniors Oscar Myre IV: Geek Speak Paddy Elkins: Fruits & Nuts
with what was before me on my own plate. In perspective. Yes, summer is ending. There will be another one next year. Yes, autumn is coming and fall will soon arrive. Time to break out the cute boots and warm sweaters! Shake out the fluffy warm blankies, and look at getting a good reading list rolling. It means I get to start burning warm smelling candles, and maybe even start decorating the house with fall colors in a little bit. Heck, it's even my birthday in mid-September. ☺ September is still a time of fun and activity around our beautiful part of Washington. You will find the Highlander Festival an exciting addition to your September 8th weekend, complete with Highlander Games and
**The Valley Bugler newspaper publishes content supplied from columnists, and is not responsible for factual mistakes or anything other than the occasional spelling error. The Valley Bugler retains a neutral stance on ads, issues and articles printed, unless otherwise stated. Columnists may not always submit material for each month.** eMail: editor@valleybugler.com
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Competitions. If you've never seen someone throw a caber before, it's high time. (Pun intended). A couple years ago, I took my kids to the Highlander Festival, and had fun watching all of the dancing, and especially listening to the music. It was as if we were transported to a village party somewhere in Scotland. The Fall weather is a perfect backdrop for a plethora of outdoor activities. So revel in the last few days of warm sunshine, and soak up the fun! October is soon on its way! Until next month,
Michelle Myre Publisher / Editor
September 2018 • Valley Bugler • Page 3
Calling All Scottish Fans 2018 Highlander Festival September 8th & 9th
Girls Night Out • Oct 6th October 6th • 2pm-8pm
September 8th & 9th
FREE ADMISSION!!! @ Tam O'Shanter
Experience a whole weekend of Scottish & Celtic culture, with the Avenue of Clans, Scottish craft & food vendors, Scottish music & dancing, as well as Highland Games. SATURDAY • 9/8/17 At beautiful Tam O'Shanter Park on Saturday, September 9th, the festivities begin, starting at 7:00 am with a Fun Run/Walk 5K road race. The Sons of Norway Hall in Longview is holding a Norwegian Waffle and Pancake Breakfast on Saturday only. Please join us there for breakfast before heading over to the park. At 9:00 am the Highland Dance Competition, Silent Auction and Highland Games begin. At 10:00 am please join us for the annual Highlander Festival Parade. Also beginning at 10:00 am join us
for the Kelso Garden Club Flower Show. At 12:30 pm the Opening Ceremonies & Parade of Clans begins on the field. The Silent Auction ends at 4:00. The entertainment continues all day Saturday with music by: Men of Worth, Rogues End, and pipe bands from Ft. Vancouver and Clan Gordon. This is located under the covered area. There will not be a baking contest this year. Thank you to all past judges and contestants for entering your baked goods and making it a success for so many years. SUNDAY • 9/9/17 At 8:00 am please join us for the Kirkin' of the Tartan Worship Service at Tamo O'Shanter Park and again at 10:00 am at the Kelso Methodist Presbyterian Church in Kelso at 206 Cowlitz Way. There will be a special tea reception following the Kirkin' at 11:00 in the Fellowship Hall. There will be bagpipers and a Highland Dancer performing. The Highland Games will begin at the park at 9:00 am with those hardy See HIGHLANDER, continued on p.4
Girls Night Out is a retail promotion for shopping, dining, and entertainment in downtown Centralia. Starting at either HUBBUB Shop or The Station Coffee Bar & Bistro, participants pay $5 cash to get their passport and first 200 receive goody bags packed with....well, goodies! [See ad below]. Participants then use their passports to visit each location and receive a special stamp. Each business will be offering goodies and special discounts for the day only - Girls Night Discounts. Depending on when you begin, a fine meal at one of the featured restaurants is always a nice way to rest your tired feet and fuel your additional shopping momentum. At the end of the night, you turn your passport in at the last participating business you visit. There will be a drawing from the provided passports for a chance to win the huge gift basket and other prizes. Be sure to visit their facebook page, by searching: DowntownCentraliaGirlsNightOut This is a benefit cause as well, and $2 from every passport sold will be donated to the Human Response Network of Lewis County.
Human Response Network What We Do: Advocacy When the crisis of domestic violence, sexual assault occurs, Human Response Network is there for the survivor. We respond as advocates. The way we advocate for a client is dependent on the client’s needs and desires. If you have been the victim of domestic violence, sexual assault: Remember…you are not alone, and it’s not your fault. thehumanresponsenetwork.org
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Oktoberfest calls
Travel near, Travel far...
Whether you’re a German by blood, or just love a good brew, Oktoberfest is something you’ve probably experienced a time or two. If not, this year is the perfect time to start, because everyone needs schnitzl. Of course, if you’re not able to fly out to Munich (Munchen) Germany, where over six million people attend every year and drink well over seven million liters of beer.....then the ones in Washington and Oregon will just have to suffice. 1) Mt. Angel Oktoberfest September 13-16 Celebrating 53 years! Located 40 miles south of Portland, it’s a nice drive to reach this Bavarian themed town that springs up for Oktoberfest, complete with Biergarten, Weingarten, Alpinegarten, Prostgarten, Bandstand, St. Mary’s Church, and ‘Kindergarten’. Online: oktoberfest.org 2) Fremont Oktoberfest September 21-23 Friday & Saturday is 21+ ONLY, with valid ID. Sunday, all ages are welcome, and ages 21 and under are free with a paying adult. Dogs are cool too, but no snakes. Super fun time and even includes Kids Zucchini Races on Sunday and a Texas Chainsaw Pumpkin Carving Contest. You can’t go wrong with interesting things to do in Fremont, (Seattle) anyways. fremontoktoberfest.com
3) Oktoberfest Northwest at The Washington State Fair October 5th - 7th The 14th Annual Oktoberfest Northwest hosts Western Washington's largest Munich-inspired Fest-
halle featuring a huge Biergarten and dance hall with non-stop live entertainment on two stages, authentic German grub and bier, the Hammerschlagen® Tournament of Champions (featuring prizes and bragging rights), Wiener Dog Races, German Crafts Plaza, the Sports Haus, BierLympics, Stein Dash 5K, Root Beer Garden and kids' activities including pumpkin decorating, scavenger hunt & more! Prices for tickets range from $5 $12. Oktoberfest Northwest is an all-ages event until 6pm each evening (and all day Sunday!). After 6pm, guests must be 21 years of age or older on Friday & Saturday. oktoberfestnw.com 4) Leavenworth Oktoberfest First 3 weekends in October! For obvious reasons, an Oktoberfest held in Leavenworth is undoubtedly awesome. Ages 12 and under get in free with a paying adult. Kids will enjoy the Kinderplatz with a climbing wall, bouncy house and clown performances. Adults will enjoy the wine tasting. Free transportation in Leavenworth, live music, delicious and authentic German food, cheeses and wines, arts and crafts, and activities for the whole family (oh yeah and did we say “beer”?). Oktoberfest in Leavenworth is the next best thing to being in Munich. They have four venues with live entertainment and Free Shuttles in Leavenworth. What ever you do, don’t miss the Keg Tapping Ceremony at 1:00 pm every Saturday when Leavenworth's Mayor will honor a Bavarian Tradition of “tapping the keg”. Then plan on hanging around and checking out music from Musikkapelle Leavenworth who will be joined by other musical groups from the US and Germany. leavenworthoktoberfest.com
Movie Reviews By Blake Peterson
Mission Impossible - Fallout Directed by Christopher McQuarrie Starring Tom Cruise, Rebecca Ferguson Running Time 2 Hrs., 30 Mins., PG-13 My Rating: B+
The Mission: Impossible franchise’s newest entry, Fallout, is not quite as dazzling or punchy as its 2015 predecessor, Rogue Nation, but it still packs a wallop. In it, Tom Cruise returns as IMF lead Ethan Hunt, who, this time around, is tasked with recovering a triad of plutonium cores after an operation goes sour. He is accompanied by Simon Pegg, Ving Rhames, and Rebecca Ferguson, who all return as his second bananas. New to the franchise, but still vital to the story, are Angela Bassett as a CIA bigwig, and Henry Cavill, a burly, cocky spy who is assigned to essentially act as Hunt’s right-hand man. As it has gone for all the Mission: Impossible movies, the storyline is a great deal more complex than that. But a tightly drawn plot, key as it is, has never been the primary appeal of the Mission: Impossible movies: big, spectacular action sequences are the main attraction. In Fallout, we get many. There are, of course, the requisite car chases and expertly choreographed scenes of hand-to-hand combat. But the big kahunas of Fallout come in the forms of a kinetic helicopter melee, and a parkour-heavy foot chase that involves Cruise dauntlessly leaping to and fro stories-high windows and rooftops aplenty. Fallout, which has thus far received the franchise’s most unanimous
praise to date, has been compared to the era-defining Mad Max: Fury Road (2015); some have gone as far as calling it one of the finest of all action movies. Indeed, the film is wonderfully crafted. It prioritizes practical effects over CGI; makes good use of the cinematographer Rob Hardy, who captures even the most chaotic of sequences with remarkable fluidity; and accommodates action so breathtakingly mounted that we wonder how its makers and stars got away with it all. Adding to the amazement, Cruise, who is 56 but moves balletically, did all of his own stunts. This sort of excellence is rarely seen in the genre. The first three pictures in the Mission: Impossible struggled to consistently surprise. But chapters four through six have more confidently invoked the bigger-is-better sequel mentality, resulting in increasingly awe-inspiring products. Fallout continues the trend. Nonetheless, it is too long at 147 minutes, and is unnecessarily tangled in its storytelling. It is also slow to uncover its essence, and dedicates much of the first act to exposition. Still, Fallout is an exceptionally high-quality product. And if Cruise and co. want to continue churning out sequels, I say let them.
YOUR MISSION SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT...
HIGHLANDER, cont. from p.3 lads and lasses tossing the caber and throwing the stone. There will be entertainment in the afternoon at the park with the Wicked Tinkers, and Men of Worth. The Kilted Klassic Golf Tournament starts with registration at 8:00 AM at the Longview Country Club. Registration Forms are available under Festival Forms.
A student at the University of Washington, Blake is majoring in journalism and minoring in English. Founder petersonreviews.com
The Kelso Rotary will be holding their Annual Duck Race in the afternoon raising money for charities and scholarships. Get your Highlander Festival Buttons, on sale NOW, for only $1.00 each and you could win many prizes which have been donated from various merchants in Kelso, $600 grand prize shopping certificate. Don't pass up a whole weekend of Scottish and Celtic fun at the park! Don’t pass up a whole weekend of Scottish and Celtic fun at the park! [Photo on p.3: A competitor launches the caber (tapered log) into the air during the games. Credit: Highlander Festival.]
September 2018 • Valley Bugler • Page 5
Not to be confused with National Patriot’s Day, celebrated in April on an annual basis, on September 11th we honor those who died and those who served heroically during the worst terrorist attacks in United States history. On September 11, 2001, almost three thousand people died in New
York, Washington, D.C. and in the fields of Pennsylvania. Everyone remembers where they were and what they were doing when they first saw the events on television, or heard about them on the news coverage that continued throughout the day, night and beyond.
A month later, the U.S. House of Representatives passed Joint Resolution 71. It was first designated as the Day of Prayer and Remembrance for the Victims of the Terrorist Attacks on September 11, 2001. The following year, President George W. Bush proclaimed that September 11 would be observed as Patriot Day. The President directed that the American flag be flown at half-mast and displayed from homes, at the White House, and on all U.S. government buildings at home and abroad. Most businesses do the same. Americans are asked to observe a moment of silence beginning at 8:46 a.m.(EDT), the time of the first plane crash at the World Trade Center. Patriot Day is a time of both sadness and pride: sadness for the in-
nocent victims and their families and pride in the actions of the firemen, first responders, and the brave acts of so many others. Patriot Day will continue to take on added significance again this year with the running of the Boston Marathon five years after the bombings that killed three people and injured more than 250. The marathon is always held on Patriot’s Day. This year, Patriot's Day falls on a Tuesday. Many schools and businesses may offer activities. Words like terrorism and terrorist attacks can be tough to know how to teach young ones, but this is a world in which terrorism and terrorist attacks are a daily reality. Together, through education and choosing love over hate, we can do our part to keep our country unified.
COUPON Central
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September 2018 • Valley Bugler • Page 7
The
10 Steps to Help Prevent Cancer Nearly 4 out of 10 Americans will be diagnosed with cancer in their lifetimes, and it remains the second-leading cause of death for Americans, but nearly half of all cancer cases can be prevented. Another way of saying that is: 50% of all cancers can be prevented. Research from the American Institute for Cancer Research (AICR) shows that diet, exercise and weight play a critical role in cancer prevention. "Making changes in what you eat, being physically active and maintaining a healthy weight have strong and clear links to your risk for cancer," said Alice Bender, MS, RDN and director of nutrition programs at AICR. "We know from decades of research and a thorough review of the science that there are simple things we can all do to reduce our risk." To live a cancer-preventive lifestyle, consider taking these 10 steps recommended by the scientific experts at AICR: 1. Be a healthy weight. Higher body fat can be a cause of many cancers. Try to stay at a healthy weight and avoid weight gain as you get older. 2. Be physically active. Incorporate moderate physical activity into your daily life through steps like walking more and sitting less. 3. Eat a diet rich in whole grains, vegetables, fruits and beans. Make these foods a major part of your diet. 4. Limit consumption of "fast foods" and other processed foods high in fat, starches or sugars. Cut down (Family Features)
on processed foods to help control calorie intake and maintain a healthy weight. 5. Limit consumption of red and processed meat. Eat no more than three portions of red meat per week, and little - if any - processed meat. 6. Limit consumption of sugarsweetened drinks. Don't drink sugarsweetened drinks, which contribute to weight gain. Choose water instead, when possible. 7. Limit alcohol consumption. For preventing cancer, it's best not to drink alcohol. 8. Do not use supplements for cancer prevention. Aim to meet nutritional needs through diet alone. 9. For mothers, breastfeed your baby, if you can. Breastfeeding is good for both mother and baby. 10. After a cancer diagnosis, follow these recommendations, if you can. Cancer survivors are encouraged to continue following these guidelines. Refraining from smoking, avoiding other exposure to tobacco and limiting sun exposure are also important in reducing cancer risk. Because it can be hard to make lifestyle changes, AICR aims to help people adopt healthier behaviors through efforts like the Cancer Health Check, a tool that shows people how their lifestyle stacks up against known cancer risks and recommends changes that can improve health. For recipes, tips and other resources, visit aicr.org online. Photo courtesy of Getty Images #14218
Lighter side
ANNUAL BOSSES NIGHT At an annual Bosses Night dinner, where legal secretaries sponsored their lawyer bosses, it was time to announce the Boss of the Year. The master of ceremonies began: "First of all, our winner is a graduate of Harvard Law School, so that already eliminates some of you as candidates." "Our winner also is a partner in a downtown law firm," he went on. "That eliminates some more of you." Our nominee is honest, upright, dedicated..." A voice from the audience cut in: "Well, there go the rest of us!" NEW FAMILY DRIVER Martin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. "I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to his father. "Nope," comes dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years."
ARE YOU READY FOR CHILDREN? Mess Test: Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flowerbed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer. Toy Test: Obtain a 55-gallon box of Lego's. (If Lego's are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles.) Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream. (This could wake a child at night.) Grocery Store Test: Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and
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take them with you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage. Dressing Test: Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure all arms stay in. Feeding Test: Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a stout cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal (such as Fruit Loops or Cheerios) into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor. Night Test: Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8 - 12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8:00 PM begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00 PM. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00 PM. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00 AM. Set alarm for 5:00 AM. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful. Physical Test (Women): Obtain a large beanbag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10 of the beans. Physical Test (Men): Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time. Final Assignment: Find a couple who already has a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training, and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run riot. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.
Page 8 • Valley Bugler • September 2018
Submitted by Georgia Cox SEPTEMBER Events Every Monday: Our delectable Cinnamon Rolls and coffee will be served to the public from 10am to NOON. Suggested donation is only $1.50 for these delicious concessions. A great way to start your week! Every Monday, Wednesday & Friday: Get that heart rate up and get healthy with Senior Yoga classes at 8:15am to 9:15am, and Senior exercises from 9:30am to 10:30am. Every Wednesday: CAP offers Nutrition Meals for Seniors at the Center at NOON. Suggested donation is $3.00, PLEASE call #6362118 (by Monday) for reservations. Every Thursday: Quilting projects will take place from 10am - 3pm and fun Pinochle games are played in
the Center later at 7pm and open to all who are interested! Every Friday: Lunches by reservation only, will be served in the Center at NOON. Must Reserve by calling 636-2118 by Monday. SPECIAL EVENTS: Thursday, September 20th: Commodities will be distributed from 10am - 1pm. Have a valid punch card. Tuesday, September 18th: "Write Your Life Story" from 12:30pm 3pm. Saturday, September 29th: Flu shots given from 10am - 2pm. NOTICE: Bingo will return in October. Readerboard announcements. Castle Rock Senior Center 222 - 2nd Ave • Castle Rock WA (360)274-7502
Strange....but TRUE Here's a little part of US history which makes you go hmmmmm. The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters. Both were particularly concerned with civil rights. Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946. Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960. Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy. Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln. Both wives lost their children while living in the White House. Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head. Both Presidents were shot by southerners. John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839. Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939. Both assassins were known by their three names. Both names are comprised of fifteen letters. Lincoln was shot at the theatre named "Kennedy". Kennedy was shot in a car called "Lincoln". Booth ran from the theatre and was caught in a warehouse. Oswald ran from a warehouse and was caught in a theatre.
On Making One Small Change... By Paddy Elkins Valley Bugler Columnist Don't you just LOVE the change of seasons? As summer waves Goodbye, the sights, sounds and smells of September set the stage, heralding Autumn's imminent return. And Oh, I do so LOVE Autumn! Our Grandchildren flock back to school. Football Season arrives and resumes in earnest. Fall-schedules beckon us adults back into routines temporarily laid aside during the more spontaneous summer days... LIFE is full of wonder, surprise and POSSIBILITIES. I stare at my open day-timer, considering my options: I definitely need to get back to the YMCA for exercise, swimming, aerobics! I pencil in some dates and times. Tuesday morning Bible Study is a much-needed and long-cherished time of fellowship with good friends from church... I pencil that in. Wednesday night Small Group and weekly church services with my husband... "Check" and "check". Early morning Quiet Times, a habit started last year, goes back on the planner, to keep me feeling "centered" and "in-tune" with the Lord. And this year, I am adding something new: Each week day, I'll take time to pray for a specific member of my extended family, and maybe jot
them a note of encouragement. My hubby... Siblings... Children... Grandchildren... Nieces... Nephews... Cousins... Folks I think about often but rarely see or talk to because of geographical distance. I remember years ago, as a new bride in Massachusetts, receiving occasional hand-written notes of encouragement from my new husband's Grandma in Seattle, whom I'd never met. Her insightful and often humorous words seemed to find their way into my hands at the precise moment when I needed relief from loneliness, confusion or fatigue. Her hand-written communiques were godsends, encouraging me in my duties as new wife, and later, as new mom. (Thank you, Grandma Alburty!) There's just something special about "hand-written" instead of digital communications. Anyway, that's my plan. My sister, Marie, has been doing this sort of thing for upwards of forty YEARS, and she has been a great blessing to me and many others! (So Ree, this month's column is dedicated to YOU, Sis! Thanks for your shining example and inspirational life!) Warmly, Paddy
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials. Both successors were named Johnson. Both successors were southerners. Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908. And... A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland. A week before Kennedy was shot, he was in Marilyn Monroe. {Goosebumps, anyone?}
Paddy Elkins invites your feedback! You may Email her at: paddyelkins@gmail.com or call her at 360-751-5231.
September 2018 • Valley Bugler • Page 9
dinner at 5pm, 4311 Ocean Beach Hwy, Longview The COWLITZ VALLEY VFW LADIES AUXILIARY POST #1045 Meets 1st Thurs, 6:00pm, Breakfast for members & guest 9-11am served 2nd Sat. For info Kathe, 360-577-2592 4311 Ocean Bch Hwy, Longview CENTRALIA CWO ROBERT M. DOWLING POST #2200 Meet 2nd Tues, 7:00pm, 111 1/2 W. Main St, Centralia WINLOCK - LEWIS AND CLARK POST 3409 Meet 1st FRI, 6:00pm, Veterans Memorial Field Clubhouse, 575 Nevil Rd, Winlock SUNNYSIDE GRANGE #129 meets the 1st & 3rd Thursdays. 6:30 for potluck, 7:30 meeting. Call 274.6013 for information & rental hall. SILVER LAKE GRANGE 2nd and 4th Thurs. Potluck 6:30, meeting at 7:30 p.m. Info Anita Morgan 748-8098, Rentals call Claudia Hunter 274-5263 CATLIN GRANGE #199 2nd & 4th Fri. 6:30 p.m. Potluck dinner 2nd Friday. 7:30 meetings. More info: 423-2122; Rental call Barbara Wilburn: 425-5970. PLEASANT HILL GRANGE # 101 2nd Monday. 6:30 p.m. Potluck, meeting @ 7:15 p.m. Community Service group meets Thursdays @ 10am. Info & rentals call Zula Bryan 360-425-6101 ROSE VALLEY GRANGE #9453 2nd Tuesday, 7p.m. Info & Hall Rental: Nicole Nickel 360-431-3175 WOODLAND GRANGE #178 1st Thursdays 7:30 p.m. 404 Davidson, Woodland. Info & rentals call John Burke 225-9888 CASTLE ROCK WOMANS CLUB meets every 2nd Monday at 1 p.m. 206 W. Cowlitz Street. Business meeting & program. Public iinvited. Info: 274.8149. THE PYTHIAN CASTLE 24 holds their meetings every 2nd and 4th Thursday @ 1 p.m. at the Castle Rock Womens Club, 206 Cowlitz St. West, Castle Rock. THE CASTLE ROCK LIONS CLUB meets the 1st & 3rd Thursdays at Hattie’s Restaurant @ 5:45 p.m. The club sponsors newspaper recycling. R Square D Square Dance Club: Sept - May. 2nd Fri & 4th Sat. 7:30 pm Plus, 8:00pm - 10:00pm Mainstream with Rounds. $5 admission Kelso Senior Ctr 636-1993 LONGVIEW MONTICELLO LIONS meets 6:30 p.m. 2nd and 4th Mondays, dinner and speaker at The Carriage Restaurant in Longview, WA.
MT. ST. HELENS CLUB - meets 2x week to hike on a rural trail in SW Washington &/or NW Oregon. Location and info: mtsthelensclub.org or 360- 673-2799 NATIONAL ASSOC. OF ACTIVE & RETIRED FEDERAL EMPLOYEES Longview - Kelso Chapter 1070, meet the 1st Wednesday @ 11:30 a.m. at the Monticello Hotel, Longview. Info: 423.6032. LOWER COLUMBIA WOODCARVERS Tues 5 - 7 p.m. & Thurs. 1 - 4 p.m . @ LV Senior Center 274-3175 LONGVIEW BORDER CROSSINGS Volks walking meet on 2nd Tuesdays at St. John’s Hospital, Longview, @ 6:30 p.m. Cafeteria Sam Korff 503-728-0400 KELSO ROTARY Meets Thursdays at 12 p.m. Lunch available to purchase. Kelso Longview Elks Lodge Call 414-5406 for more information ALTRUSA of Longview/Kelso meets Thurs from 12-1 p.m.. Lunch served $5 at all meetings except Board. Meet at Altrusa room at CAP. THE SPIRIT OF FREEDOM Christian Intervention program for the chemically dependent, meets Wednesday 6 p.m. at Landmark United Pentecostal, 4333 Ocean Beach Hwy, 360-636-0580 LONGVIEW GARDEN CLUB meets 10am. 4th Thurs. Jan. - November; Sept. - Oct. Nov. & Dec. meetings are on the 3rd Thurs. Grace LutheranLongview. 425-0755 Lower Columbia Genealogical Society 7:00p.m. 2nd Thurs @ Somerset Retirement Home, 2025 Tibbetts Dr., Longview. Visitors welcome. Info: www.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~walcolgs/index.htm COWLITZ BEEKEEPERS ASSOCIATION meets the 3rd Thursday each month, 7 p.m. @ 3 Rivers Bible Church 102 Harris Street, Kelso, 360-749-9040 OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS of Longview meets Thursday @ 5:30-6:30pm at 1414 12th Ave, Longview. Info: Gloria 360-749-7449 or www.oa.org NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) "Connections" Open Support Group Mondays @ 4-5:30pm & Thurs 12-1:30pm. Counseling avail. Call (360)703-6722 Kelso office: 109 Allen St, Kelso WA Kalamas GFWC AMALAK women's service club 1st & 3rd Thurs from Sept - May at Community Center, 216 Elm street in Kalama at 7:00 p.m. Call 360-901-1791 CASTLE ROCK TOPS # 0740 (Take Off Pounds Sensibly)Thurs 9:30am, St. Paul's Lutheran Church, 312 First Ave. Darlene: 703-5042.
"Down in their hearts, wise men know this truth: the only way to help yourself is to help others." ~Elbert Hubbard
GET PUZZLED! RIDDLE ME THIS: A) When you stop and look, you can always see me. If you try to touch, you cannot feel me. I cannot move, but as you near me, I will move away from you. Horizon B) This is needed both for courage and hardcover books. Spine C) We are two brothers on opposite sides of the road, but we never see each other. Who are we? Eyes D) You use lots of me, yet right you use me when you're done. What am I? Toilet Paper E) I am so delicious that I require a house to contain me. What am I? A) HORIZON, B) SPINE, C) EYES, D) TOILET PAPER, E)PANCAKES
KIWANIS CLUBS
CATHLAMET 1st Tues. 6 p.m. at the St. Catherine’s Catholic Church; 3rd Tues. at Sugar Lillies at noon. CHEHALIS - Thursday 12 p.m. at “The Restaurant” in Sunbirds. CLATSKANIE - 1st & 3rd & 5th Tues 6 p.m. at Fultano’s; 2nd & 4th Tues 12 p.m. Colvin’s. KELSO LONGVIEW - Every Thursday at noon. Kelso Senior Center (Catlin Hall). Richard (360)636-3906 SCAPPOOSE- 1st & 3rd Wednesday 6:30 p.m. Windemere Real Estate Office) ST. HELENS - Thurs. noon at the Elks Lodge (350 Belton Rd, St Helens). ST. HELENS DAYBREAKERS - Tues 7 a.m. at Warren Country Inn, Last Tues 6pm Columbia Soil and Water District Office AMERICAN LEGION GLEN HOYER POST 175 meets in Castle Rock every 1st & 3rd Tuesdays, 7:30 p.m. For info call 423.9542. The LADIES AUXILIARY to Glen Hoyer Post #175 of the American Legion meets first Thursdays. For info call 423-9542. AMERICAN LEGION GUY RATHBUN Post #25 meets the 2nd Thurs. of the month at 7 p.m @ Kelso Eagles For info Kandi 423.2504 BUFORD ROCKAFELLOW POST 101, The American Legion, and Auxiliary meet 2nd Friday each month at Winlock Community Building. Potluck 6 p.m., meeting 7 p.m.. For info Post Commander Wendy Carolan 360785-0929 or Adjutant Phil Carolan at (360) 785-0929. KOREAN WAR VETS ASSOCIATION CHAPTER #321 of SW WA meets the 3rd Wednesday of each month @ 10am; Vancouver WA. Call Commander James Mead (360)907-0592 for information. KELSO-LONGVIEW ELKS LODGE #1482 meets Thurs at 7:30 p.m. for our members only. Dinner is served before Lodge at 5:30 p.m. Lunches are served Monday-Friday 11 a.m.-2 p.m. 900 Ash St., Kelso. 360.425.1482. TOUTLE VALLEY VFW POST & AUXILIARY #10882 meets 1st Tues 7p.m. Post Home, 101 Hansen Road in Toutle. Info: Doreen 360-270-4445 TOLEDO VFW 3429, Reg. Meeting 1st Monday, Potluck at noon, meeting at 1 p.m. COWLITZ VALLEY VFW POST 1045, Meeting 2nd Wednesday, 9:00am Bingo on Tuesdays @ 6pm, with
LONGVIEW EARLY BIRD LIONS meets at The Carriage Restaurant on the 1st Wednesday @6pm, 3rd Wednesday @6:45am. VADER LIONS CLUB meets 1st Thurs @ 6 p.m. & 3rd Thur @ 7 p.m. at club building on Hwy 506 in Vader for a potluck dinner and meeting. Info: 295-3087 or 295-3801. KALAMA LIONS CLUB 2nd & 4th Mon. of month, 7:00pm Kalama Comm. Bldg., 126 N. 2nd St, Kalama,Wa. All welcome. www.e-clubhouse.org/sites/kalama.com LONGVIEW PIONEER LIONS CLUB meets every Tuesday at noon at the Longview Eagles Club (152612th Ave) Visitors welcome. WINLOCK LIONS CLUB meets the 1st and 3rd Thursdays of each month at 12 p.m. at Guadalajara Restaurant, off SR 505. Visitors welcome. Call 7853744 info KELSO LIONS CLUB meets 1st & 3rd Monday @ 6:30 p.m. at Kelso Presbyterian Methodist Church. Call Gary 423-7181 ROSE VALLEY GRANGE #953 meets 2nd Tues. @ 1pm, & 4th Tuesdays @ 6 p.m. 1520 Rose Valley Road, Kelso. Info: Becky 575-3977 or Debbie 414-9627 COWLITZ COUNTY VETERANS ASSOC. meets the second Friday of each month. CALL 577-6757 for locations. LONGVIEW REBEKAH LODGE NO. 305 Meets the 1st and 3rd Saturday each month at the IOOF Hall, corner of Pacific and Pine, Kelso, 1 p.m.. Info: 1-866725-3507 CASTLE ROCK EAGLES, celebrating their 100th birthday, meets at the Eagles Aerie on Huntington Ave. @ 8 p.m. every 2nd & 4th Tuesday for the Aerie & Auxiliary. KELSO EAGLES meet 1st and 3rd Tuesday at 7 p.m. Aux., Aerie meets at 8 p.m. Initiation 3rd Tuesday. BINGO MonWed-Fri @ 6:30 p.m. Special Charity BINGO Monday 12 - 3 p.m. Call 425-8330 for info. CASTLE ROCK FREEMASONS 3rd Mon @ 7:30 p.m. at Lodge located on SW First Ave DAUGHTERS OF THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION, MaryRichardson Walker Chapter. rootsweb. ancestry.com/~wamrwcdar/ FRIENDS OF CASTLE ROCK LIBRARY, 1st Mondays from 10 - 11 a.m., Library 137 Cowlitz St. West in Castle Rock WORSHIP & RECOVERY meeting, Sunday @ 1 p.m., refreshments. Positive faith group meeting. 1260 12th Ave., LV S.C.O.R.E. - Free counseling & guidance for small businesses by the nation-wide of S.C.O.R.E., Kelso/ Longview Chamber of Commerce, 1563 Olympia Way, Longview, WA. DISABLED AMERICAN VETERANS: 1st Fri of the month at 1 p.m. @ 1639 10th Ave. 577-5890, and Auxiliary meets the 2nd Friday of the month at 11 a.m. 423-3125
answer on p.11
Page 10 • Valley Bugler • September 2018
Stepping up for Alzheimer's Submitted by Monticello Park Bake Sale, Dog Show and Memories Matter Fashion Show & Tea to Benefit The Alzheimer’s Association. What does fresh baked cookies, happy wagging tails and fashion all have in common? If you are a resident at Monticello Park Senior Living, it is they are all events to benefit the Southwest Washington Alzheimer’s Association. “Our community has been holding a series of activities and events to raise awareness and donations leading up to the Walk To End Alzheimer’s at the lake on September 22nd," said Nikkol Nagle, Life Enrichment Director at Monticello Park. “So far we’ve raised $865 where much was generated from our rummage sale. We’re hoping with this month’s events we can reach over $1000.” Upcoming fundraisers include a Bake Sale, Dog Show and a Memories Matter Fashion Show which all
involve the residents participation. Monticello Park residents are also participating in the walk at Lake Sacajawea. Those who are not able to walk the distance at the lake, will instead walk around the perimeter of the Monticello Park building at 3:00 pm holding the “Alzheimer Promise Flower” that either represents someone with Alzheimer’s, someone who has lost a loved one to the disease, someone currently caring for someone with Alzheimer’s, or someone who supports the cause and vision of a world without Alzheimer’s. SEPTEMBER FUNDRAISERS: Baking For A Cause Bake Sale Saturday, September 8th 10:00 am – 1:00 pm 605 Broadway, Longview The bake sale will feature mouth watering fresh baked goods prepared by ladies who have the best recipes for cookies, breads, cakes and more.
Above: Bobbi Tells manages her table during the August Monticello Park Rummage Sale that raised $645 for Alzheimer's. Photo provided by Monticello Park.
Monticello Park Resident Dog Show, Thursday, September 27th 2:00pm; 605 Broadway, Longview In recognition of National Pet Week, proud pet parents of Monticello Park Senior Living will be showing off their lovable pups during its dog show to benefit Alzheimer’s. Many funny categories to enjoy! Memories Matter Fashion Show & Tea, Saturday, September 29th 1-3pm, 605 Broadway, Longview
The ladies at Monticello Park will strike a pose on the catwalk to benefit the Alzheimer’s Association during their Memories Matter Fashion Show & Tea. Fashions are provided by Maurice’s. The show will feature the latest styles of clothes for all shapes and sizes. Refreshments will be served. There is a suggested $5 donation per person. For more information, call Monticello Park at (360) 575-1778.
September 2018 • Valley Bugler • Page 11
How to give your cat a pill
1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to swallow. 2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. 3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. 4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten. 5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of closet. Call spouse from garden. 6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously. 7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from floor and set to one side for gluing later. 8) Wrap cat in large towel and get
SUDOKU ANSWER FROM P.9
spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill inside end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw. 9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap. 10) Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with rubber band. 11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom. 12) Call fire department to retrieve the damned cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil. 13) Tie the little bugger’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of raw chicken. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down. 14) Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and remove pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture store on way home. 15) Arrange for Animal Control to collect “mutant cat from hell, “ and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters. HOW TO GIVE A DOG A PILL: 1) Wrap it in cheese.
Meet: 'Honey'
Adorable Adoptee Honey is appropriately named; she's a sweet little girl who gets along well with everyone. She especially likes "her" kitties. She is being rehomed because her family has a new addition to their home: a baby, who is now a toddler. Honey gets along well with the older brother, who is 6, but the baby, now a toddler, makes Honey very nervous. The toddler moves so quickly and unpredictably, that's difficult for Honey to feel at ease around the toddler. So being pro-active, the owners have decided to rehome Honey to prevent any issues with the youngster. This was not an easy decision for them to make, but they simply couldn't chance it.
Honey meets new people easily, she adjusts quickly to new environments. She's just a sweetie. She is spayed, current on her vaccinations and microchipped. Are you looking for a specific type of cat or dog for your family? Want to bring a sweet animal into their new forever home? Then visit Rescued Paws and all of their available breeds and types of animals up for adoption online at the www.petfinder.com website. Type in Rescued Paws, Longview WA and it will come up.
Page 12 • Valley Bugler • August 2018