Letting Love and Pain Cozy Up

Kris: “As queer people, as people of color, we are deserving of a love story…”

When asked to be candid about his dating experience at Penn State, senior Kris Carrasco felt very strongly about the topic. Carrasco, a musical theatre major, identifies as part of the Latinx community and has been openly gay since 2013. Carrasco, a southern native, says he has become accustomed to blatant discrimination.

Upon moving to college, Carrasco’s romantic experiences have been primarily with white gay men from Pennsylvania. Time and time again, he’s found that his romantic pursuits come from an environment where his partners weren’t allowed to fully be themselves, whether it be due to religion, or growing up so privileged that they were never forced to learn empathy for people who came from different backgrounds. As for Carrasco’s romantic partners, their journeys to self-discovery took its time. “Growing up the way I did, there was no option to slowly learn who I was inside.”

When it comes to the gay dating scene at Penn State, Carrasco notes that it is largely dominated by white men, and he finds that they tend to have a preference, and it’s typically not very inclusive.

The concept of having a “preference” when it comes to dating is timeless, but where do we draw the line into unconscious bias?

Carrasco shares his wishes for the queer community around him. His dream pride month? A month where queer people can have real discussions on how to truly be a community.

“It’s my belief, that community doesn’t actually exist — you have to work towards being unified instead of creating social hierarchies.”

Though it may not seem like it, there is a thriving queer community in Happy Valley, and eligible partners are right around the corner. Between meeting someone in class, tapping on Grindr, or at one of Carrasco’s drag shows, the opportunities are there if you put yourself out there.

Following an emotionally abusive relationship, Carrasco swears he’ll no longer tolerate that inadequate behavior out of fear that no one else would give him a chance. Though Carrasco doesn’t quite believe State College will be the place where he finds his forever person, he encourages those who may feel disheartened that “as queer people, as people of color, we are deserving a love story where we love ourselves enough first to demand respect.”

Minju & AJ: “PSU is for lovers”

When Minju Lee came from Boulder, Colorado to Penn State to pursue musical theatre, they weren’t expecting to enter a serious relationship with their first-year roommate, Amirah Joy “AJ” Lomax, a fellow musical theatre major from Columbus, Ohio.

“I wanted so badly to find a significant other in college. I got so discouraged my first year because I was looking in all the wrong places.”

Although she uplifts all identities and the only thing she really looks for in a significant other is how well the two personalities match. Before she met Lee, she had only ever been attracted to cisgender men.

As a black girl attending PWI’s all her life, she often felt “glazed over.” She finds that with Lee, there is something extraordinary about dating another person of color: “We get to learn about each other’s cultures and yet I have never felt like I was explaining anything they couldn’t understand.”

The first time the two met, they instantly knew there was a connection that they hadn’t ever felt before. Though Lee entered college only looking for something casual, meeting Lomax made them realize they are someone who is in it for the long run. Lee’s parents, who began dating in their college years, have always told them that the people you meet in college stay in your life for a long time. What started off as a friendship, blossomed into something deeper.

“I am very grateful that this is the school me and AJ both decided to come to because I do think that in another universe we would still have met, but I love to say that I found the love of my life through my college experience.”