A Bloody Mess Ri c h a r d O ’ B r i e n
Ink Lines
First published in 2014 by Ink Lines an imprint of Valley Press Woodend, The Crescent, Scarborough, YO11 2PW www.valleypressuk.com/inklines First edition, first printing (November 2014) ISBN: 978-1-908853-38-7 Copyright © Richard O’Brien 2014 The right of Richard O’Brien to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise) without prior written permission from the rights holders. A CIP record for this book is available from the British Library. Cover illustration by Estelle Morris Printed and bound in Great Britain by Imprint Digital, Upton Pyne, Exeter
Contents Plea to Future Philanthropists 11 Projections 13 Ransom 15 Campsite 17 Single Men’s Sculls 18 Moules 20 More Sharks Than Ever Before 21 Purpled Thy Nail 23 Bed Trick 25 Some Marvellous Experience 26 Distraction 27 Munch’s Cock 28 Song of the Rose 30 So Much Will Waste 31 Mary Anning 32 Orpheus 33 Confessions of an Accidental Arsonist 34 Prince Henry’s Autopsy 36 Actaeon 38 Four-Coned Ruth 40 Victorian Pornography 43 Notes 45
Acknowledgements Thanks are due to the editors of the following publications, in which some of these poems, or versions of these poems, first appeared: The Erotic Review, Dead Ink, Poetry London, Ash, The Mays, Gulper Eel. ‘Four-Coned Ruth’ and ‘Plea to Future Philanthropists’ were both broadcast on BBC Radio 3 as part of a performance in the BBC Proms Plus Late series. Thanks also to David Tait, Dan Hitchens and Emma Wright for their editorial support and guidance.
‘And that this place may thoroughly be thought True paradise, I have the serpent brought.’ John Donne
Plea to Future Philanthropists Dear Sir/Madam, permit me to dispense with the delicate dance, the stately sidleup to the tablature of talent, bills and rent, the awkward pseudo-bridal courtship of the caught-short and the idle, and in its place submit a simple plea, a free-from-frills request: invest in me. But first, a test: let’s get our money’s worth. I’d like a full account of who you are – a tender-hearted thug, salt of the earth or landed, under-handed, oiled from cars, a quaffer of champagne or caviar – there are some caveats one ought to factor in, when getting into bed with benefactors. What, exactly, are we all together in? If one of us has to be patronised and it’s the turn of capital to captain, then it’s prudent to ensure we won’t capsize. Do any of the following apply: consorting with consortiums, ex-cons, funding hedges I can’t prick my finger on, or money sunning in some beach retreat (technical Virgin, undeclared in Kent)? With so much hanging in the balance-sheet there is an ocean between ‘broke’ and ‘bent’ – so when all’s said and spent if you can outsource creativity to your accountant, then you don’t need me.
11
You don’t need me. I’m ornament, gold-leaf, no more essential than a mounted moose; a taxidermist you can tax-relief, Gift Aid against a gift with no clear use. What have you got to lose? Preserve me: for a reasonable price I’ll preserve you. I’ll bring my own supplies if you’ve a spare wing you could take me under – my jotting pad, a pack of Bics, my wits. Keep me in tea; I’ll try to show you wonders beyond any public-private partnership, and by the Muse of Calculated Risk, if you stand back – resist the urge to edit – I’ll do my best to bring us both some credit.
12
Projections The night you told me ‘love does not exist’ I slept with the projectionist. Our hands unleashed trapped light and let it spin. I couldn’t face another night with you debating how much past is present in the present’s aftermath. ‘It doesn’t have to mean something.’ She spooled, unspooled her tongue along my inside shin, your negative. It’s funny how it all winds up again. My body was a planetarium. Her fingers were a laser pen. The projectionist drinks Pabst and rolls her own and has no message on her telephone. Her thighs are piled high with celluloid. At home you smoke and stare into the void, change channels, read a book that tells you books do not exist. I wake up next to the projectionist, our mouths both pop-corn dry. The darkness hums with fiction. I’m tired of you and all of your predictions. She never has used the phrase ‘the seventh art’, but she can tuck her toes behind her ears – look. White mercury ignites your Bergman book,
13
the room lights up the way stained glass was made to do if God ever came past to thank the Best Boys, make the credits roll. There is an empty socket in your soul that paper couldn’t stuff should it exist. I told these things to the projectionist.
14
Ransom I brought my heart to the car-park with a pistol to its jaw. You brought a folded paper bag no bigger than before, and each of us held out our hands as if it were rehearsed. It seems to be a question of whoever blenches first. I brought my heart to the interchange and hoped you’d join me soon – alone in Didcot Parkway on a Tuesday afternoon – and when I saw your squad of goons I panicked, I turned tail. It seems to be a question of who has the weakest will. So I sent my heart in a cavalcade behind the tinted glass and you stood behind a road-block, warned me not to move too fast, and held your fist up in the air, red dripping on your shoes. It seems to be a question of who’s got the most to lose. Entangled signals tight-rope walk the wires between our chests, and yes, I’m looking down your top – is that a Kevlar vest?
15
Can I hear a propeller blade? Is this your getaway? I’ve got a battered briefcase and I’m asking you to stay. But you took my heart to the helipad and you bundled it inside with a wad of cloth packed in its mouth and another round its eyes. It seems to me, considering, we might want different things – but I want you, and still, and that’s what stings.
16
Campsite No one goes camping forever. There are logistics to consider: jobs, the weather, unpaid debts, whatever else uproots us from our lives like pegs to leave a space the earth clots over. Grass will heal more easily than skin, but lover, let’s pretend we’re grass today. Let’s say I’ve rolled my sleeves up and there’s turf up to my thighs and yours are leaves in rain. Let’s sign our names with twigs in mud: a contract not to churn the soil, disturb the homes of wildlife, or fuck things up with any of the hundred kinds of carelessness to which we have become accustomed. Yes, we’ll place our faith in the wilderness, and if I shield your sun, you queer my pitch, we’ll take the risk. If it fails, it fails. Our lips find trails, from underbrush to open glade; leave traces that won’t take too long to fade.
17