Vancouver Family Magazine May 2020

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Washington's New Paid Family and Medical Leave Act

How One Vancouver Teacher is Helping Make Pre ScH oOL for A l l a Reality

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contents

May ‘20

12

FEATURE ARTICLES

12

Moms and Kids Benefit from Washington’s Paid Maternity Leave Who Washington's Paid Family and Medical Leave is for and how to benefit

16

Learning at Home Readers share photos of what school at home looks like for them

20

Expanding Options for Early Learning Teacher of the Year Kendra Yamamoto, and her mission to make preschool more accessible

24

Discussing Death: Healing and Helping at End of Life How death doulas and Death Cafés facilitate a healthy and healing view of death

IN EVERY ISSUE

20

6

Editor’s Notes

8

The New Domesticity Creating a welcoming home atmosphere

10 Renaissance Dad

Why helping mom out makes everyone happier Community Calendar of Events & Activities Returning Soon!

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ON THE WEB • 5 Lockdown Life Hacks to Save Mom’s Sanity • Virtual Community Events and Service Opportunities

24 4

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • May 2020

Dream big. Plan ahead.

With Washington College Savings Plans, you can start planning, save for college, and invest for a brighter future.

2020 enrollment closes May 31!

Start saving today!

Learn more at wastate529.wa.gov GET and DreamAhead are qualified tuition programs sponsored and distributed by the State of Washington. The Committee on Advanced Tuition Payment and College Savings administers and the Washington Student Achievement Council supports the plans. DreamAhead investment returns are not guaranteed and you could lose money by investing in the plan. If in-state tuition decreases in the future, GET tuition units Magazine may lose value.

Vancouver Family • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • May 2020 5

EDITOR'S NOTES

True Self-care Before “social distancing” and “flattening the curve” and were the buzz words du jour, “self-care” dominated women-

centered content. More than 26 million Quarantine selfie 2020

Instagram posts are tagged with the

term, most of which, judging by the photos, center on cosmetics, thin bodies, fashion and facial skin care. Certainly, caring for our bodies is central to holistic health. But shaping our bodies for display? Not self-care.

www.VancouverFamilyMagazine.com

Volume 19, Issue 5 Publisher

Julie Buchan Julie@vancouverfamilymagazine.com (360) 882-7762

Editor

Nikki Klock Nikki@vancouverfamilymagazine.com (360) 882-7762

Associate Editor

Sarah Mortensen Sarah@vancouverfamilymagazine.com

Graphic Designer

Speaking to the current state of quarantine and shifts in beauty

regimes for women, Beauty Redefined founders and twin sisters, Lindsay and Lexie Kite, shared, “There’s never been a better

opportunity to prove to yourself that you are still you without

makeup, lashes, Botox, filler, nails, hair dye, etc. As you leave that

extra beauty work behind, you realize you are already enough. The

I-Shüan Warr Ishuan@vancouverfamilymagazine.com

Ad Designer

Philip Nerat addesign@vancouverfamilymagazine.com

Contributing Writers

Julianna Lawson, Perry P. Perkins, Maria Halcumb, Dana Greyson, Julia Antopol Hirsch

world just needs you, not a ‘prettier’ version of you.” They are quick

sales@vancouverfamilymagazine.com

as it is not] rooted in shame,” but they encourage women to show up

Vancouver Family Magazine is published monthly by Vancouver Kidz Magazine, LLC

to note that “beauty work can be fun, creative self-expression [as long to their lives, even without the extras. When we do, we find that we are free to be, not just be seen. The best we have to offer the world has nothing to do with our weight or our makeup. True self-care starts within and extends outward—toward others.

Learn more about local women who are showing up and extending outward by confronting challenges in our community on pages 20 and 24.

Nikki Klock, Editor nikki@vancouverfamilymagazine.com

Ad Sales

Address: PO Box 820264 Vancouver, WA 98682 Tel: 360-882-7762 Copyright 2002-2020. All rights reserved.

No portion of Vancouver Family Magazine may be reproduced without the written permission from the publisher.

Vancouver Kidz Magazine, LLC and staff do not recommend or endorse any service, product, or content represented in this magazine or on our website.

The sole purpose of this publication is to provide information on available services and/or products. It is the consumer’s responsibility to verify the accuracy of information given. Vancouver Kidz Magazine, LLC, and/or Julie Buchan and Nikki Klock and staff do not assume and disclaim any liability to any party for any loss or damage caused by error or omission in this magazine or on our website. We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.

On the Cover:

The Rogalette family of Salmon Creek are outside every single day rain or shine.

They love to adventure & build forts. The kids love wrestling with Dad (rugby player), have family dance parties & enjoy an entire closet devoted to costumes for dress-up.

Photo by Jaime Bugbee jaimebugbeephotography.com jaimebugbeephotography@gmail.com

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Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • May 2020

Our Hearts Are Grateful

As we confront the unprecedented challenges of a devastating virus, we recognize the incredible, brave hearts of our caregivers, physicians and first responders who are serving our community with compassion.

Thank you Clark County for your outpouring of support, prayers and words of encouragement.

Strength in community. Compassion in care. Grateful hearts in abundance.

What mom needs to know at peacehealth.org/coronavirus Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • May 2020

7

THE NEW DOMESTICITY

the

NEW DOMESTICITY

1

The Message

DA

S L FFODI of the

By Julianna Lawson

Last October, my daughter and I knelt at the base of the birch

tree trio in our front yard. With bulbs and trowel in hand, we dug into the earth and dropped the brown, papery promises into the ground. I imagined what might be in store for us, come spring.

The hope of merry daffodils dancing among my favorite trees gladdened my heart that cool October day.

Just days after planting my bulbs, I was again busy with my sowing, this time nurturing a different kind of seed: it was time to determine my 2020 topics for “The New Domesticity.” Each monthly topic was a seed which I hoped would come to fruition, bringing color and beauty to the hearts and minds of my readers (you!). Just as I wondered what might be in store for us come daffodil time, so did I wonder what life would look like when writing throughout 2020.

to shed all that formerly distracted us, to focus on making life work successfully, and even pleasantly, within the small confines of our home. I began to consider how we can encourage each other in a strangely intense time.

It was amid this reframing of our family routines that I again glanced at the birch trees. And there, “fluttering and dancing in the breeze,” as Wordsworth expressed it, were my daffodils.

Those daffodils grounded me. They were tangible evidence that,

These autumn hopes carried me through the winter. Calendar pages turned, and I pegged away at my January column, followed in due time by my February piece. As the earth slowly started to warm, I also made frequent glances toward the birch trees.

Anything? Not yet. Winter died away, I wrote a couple more articles, and I faithfully remained on the lookout for my daffodils.

And then, suddenly, no one was thinking about daffodils anymore.

Our collective attention shifted, and we jointly focused on an unprecedented event: a pandemic that inexplicably caused humans to buy toilet paper in bulk, to revisit the art of letter-writing and to Google phrases like “social distancing.” At once we found ourselves consumed by thoughts of both the whole world and of the most intimate sphere of human community: home.

At first I was alarmed. Stuck? At home? But then my mind shifted: we were . . . home. All six of us, together. Here was an opportunity

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Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • May 2020

continued on next page

How can I prevent getting novel coronavirus?

6 feet

continued from previous page

although we don’t know what tomorrow holds for us, we do have the opportunity to plant beauty today.

Avoid close contact with people who are sick

Stay about 6 feet away from other people

As if those merry yellow banners weren’t enough, I pulled up my next article topic, curious to recall the May theme I had selected back in October. No, it couldn’t be! I laughed. It was too perfect.

This piece would focus on “creating a welcoming atmosphere in the home.”

As I write, Governor Inslee’s stay-at-home order is still in effect.

Yet, even when the order is lifted, I hope we carry with us significant impressions from this season of togetherness. Our creative efforts of making home welcoming have been tested, and I’ve been increasingly aware that our homes should be inviting, not only to those who visit, but to those who dwell in them, too.

Avoid touching your eyes, nose, or mouth with unwashed hands

Cover your mouth/nose with a tissue or sleeve when coughing or sneezing

Wash hands often with soap and water for at least 20 seconds or use hand sanitizer

Stay home while sick

QUESTIONS?

www.clark.wa.gov/public-health/novel-coronavirus

www.clark.wa.gov

Place

When we found ourselves housebound, my family members quickly exhibited their introvert or extrovert tendencies. With these needs in mind, we created a new place in our home: I pulled a table and chairs into the living room, and the Lawson family coffee shop, “The Quarantined Bean” was established. It is understood that this place is to be used as needed. Family members may “meet for coffee” if they crave discussion or slip away for a quiet moment of solitude. Perhaps one may want to eat breakfast or read a book. It is a place where needs are met.

Purpose

at-home orders, but I do know that this day is full of opportunities to create a warm and welcoming atmosphere for six people who need to know that they always have a place and a purpose.

Julianna Lawson makes her home in Vancouver with her husband Jamie and their four children, ages 14 to 22. When not in isolation, Julianna still enjoys the comforts of home, especially when accompanied by a cup of tea and a cozy read.

In Lucy Maud Montgomery’s short story, “In the Old Valley,” she writes of the value of purpose: “Where was the eagerness and zest of new dawns, the earnestness of well-filled, purposeful hours of labour, the satisfaction of a good day worthily lived?” During our isolation, we have encouraged our children (and ourselves) to pursue this same “zest, labour, purpose, and satisfaction” throughout the day. We’ve posted a card in the kitchen as a reminder to incorporate productivity, recreation, and reflection in the day so that we might keep our minds, bodies and hearts engaged in positive pursuits. It’s not a hard and fast rule, but it does encourage us to be mindful of our use of time and to seek ways to consider the needs of others.

My home is quiet right now. The children are asleep and a new day awaits. I don’t know how close this day is to the lifting of our stay-

Isolation edition of the Lawson fam: completely raw footage . . . sans hair and makeup! Photo courtesy of Julianna Lawson

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • May 2020

9

RENAISSANCE DAD

By Perry P. Perkins

I recently had the opportunity to join in a conversation with a couple of moms I know. Eventually, the topic turned to funny things their husbands had done while taking care of the kids. I was embarrassed to admit that, as a work-at-home dad, I had pulled a few of these “no-brainers” myself.

As the list grew longer, and my face grew redder, I finally had to interrupt and ask them the following question: “OK, then . . . what one thing do you wish your kids’ dad knew, that would make your life easier?”

Several cups of coffee later, I folded up my notebook and dashed home to compose an email asking the same question. This I sent to two dozen moms I know of various ages and walks of life and asked them to consider forwarding it to anyone else that they thought might have an opinion.

I was amazed at the results: nearly two hundred moms replied to that email!

Even more surprising was the lack of diversity in their answers.

Seems like most moms have a pretty compact list of things they wished daddy knew (whew!) and the top five are almost always the same.

Given that so many more of us are at home trying to avoid the current health concerns right now, I thought it might be a good time to share these thoughts in the interest of ensuring that we survi. . . thrive, while confined together.

5. Moms get tired, too If you’re paying attention, you’ll probably notice when Mom is needing a break. (Lots of heavy sighs, quiet and withdrawn, that broom handle smacking us in the back of the head . . . subtle stuff.)

10

A lot of times, moms need permission to care for themselves.

So just having hubby say “Baby, let me put the kids to bed” can really fill her love tank. Plus, with all the bedtime stories, costume changes and “one more kiss,” bedtime is a great time for dads to deepen their relationship with their children.

4. Say it out loud and publicly Letting the children know how much mommy does makes her feel appreciated in a whole new way.

Men who truly appreciate what a mom does will find that their partners are more willing to uphold that role without becoming bitter and, in turn, will probably find the joy of a spouse who knows the joy of being appreciated.

Face it guys, we love to be praised and told how great we’re doing, yet many times we forget to let the mothers of our children know that they are doing a fantastic job. Never pass up a chance to tell her how amazing she is.

It’s also a great example for the little ones!

3. Play!

That’s right, get down there on the floor and stack those blocks!

Race Hot-Wheels across the kitchen floor . . . you know you want to! Play hide and seek, tag, or put on raincoats and go play in the rain. (Just make sure to clean up afterward!)

Moms love to see dads interacting with their kids!

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • May 2020

continued on next page

continued from previous page

2. Keep the tanks full I’m not talking about the gas tank on the car.

I’m talking about keeping the kiddos fed and happy . . . or possibly just fed.

One mom replied, “Seems whenever I come home the kids are always hungry.”

As a man, I can only offer this . . . we don’t do it on purpose. If nobody says, “We’re hungry!” we tend to assume that no one is. That’s just how we’re wired. So, don’t wait for them to tell you, because they won’t until they’re at a crisis level.

This isn’t rocket science fellas, and it ain’t Chopped. Kids are pretty easy to please, so no one’s expecting a Micheline-starred meal.

Boil some mac ‘n’ cheese, grill some hotdogs, or if you really can’t find your way around the kitchen, nuke a couple of the healthier TV dinners and serve ‘em up. A stack of paper plates and some plastic-ware will make clean up a snap!

Most big jobs can be broken down into a handful of quick and easy jobs when monitored closely, making that final sweep of the house a breeze.

In truth, all of these are good advice, whether everyone’s working from home or not . . . but for now, I’m just trying to get us through the virus, because lemme tell you fellas . . . hiding the broom doesn’t work!

Perry P. Perkins is a third-generation chef, award-winning write and culinary instructor in Longview. He operates the MY KITCHEN Outreach Program for at-risk and under-served youth. His writing has appeared in hundreds of publications, including many “Chicken Soup for the Soul” anthologies.

Which leads us to. . .

The number one response by far when I asked moms what they wished dads knew:

1. A Cle a n House Trumps A ll!

Overwhelmingly, moms said that coming home, or waking up, to a clean house is the biggie!

One mom said, “My most favorite thing is that when I am gone for the weekend (after making sure the house is spotless) I come back to my clean and tidy home. It is such a blessing, and makes me feel respected and loved!”

The secret to keeping the place clean, fellas, is the same as making sure your baby (not to mention your teenager) isn’t eating Tide Pods . . . constant vigilance!

Don’t wait until an hour before mom gets home to start—you won’t even have time to hire the backhoe. Get in the habit of cleaning up a little mess as soon as you see it and putting things back in their place every time you notice.

In Defense of Dads Moms, you know how to do what you do.

And like most people who know what they’re doing, you have specific ways you like things done. Understanding that, I’m just going to toss out one thing that dads wish moms knew: If we (dads) make an effort to help out and feel criticized for not doing it “the right way,” you have just handed us a first-class ticket to plant our rears right back on the couch.

If the clean serving ware ends up in the wrong drawer, or the laundry gets done at the wrong temp, or we buy the wrong kind of juice-boxes . . . remember: Praise now. Correct later.

Basically, just treat us like you would a puppy.

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • May 2020

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Feature: Moms and Kids Benefit from Washington’s Paid Maternity Leave

Moms and Kids Benefit from Washington’s Paid Maternity Leave

By Maria Halcumb

A hot flash of anxiety

flushed through me. My heart raced, and then a thick coat of despair seemed to rest on my shoulders. I had just been informed that my maternity leave might take another 10 weeks to process. For me this meant the hours, exhaustion and deadlines would continue at work, while I barely slept each night. My son was 5 months old and my husband had just opened his own chiropractic practice in Hazel Dell.

On top of all this, I was working full time from home, running a local side-hustle tutoring business and doing my best to be the main caretaker of a preschooler and infant. If that wasn’t enough, my infant had just finally recovered from a two-night stay at Randall Children’s Hospital in Portland. The medical bills had just started arriving.

I’m a millennial middle-class mother. We’ve never hit extreme financial hardship even as I entered the workforce during the great recession. But, frugality has been a necessity on a teacher’s

“

salary. With the medical bills piling up and a new business not yet making profits, the absent maternity leave I had been counting on left me in despair. I was the most exhausted I’d ever been and our family’s finances were vulnerable. Unfortunately, I’d have to wait 10 more weeks to be approved for maternity leave, which felt like an eternity when sleep deprived.

When the day finally arrived that my paid leave had been processed and accepted, I was ecstatic. The governor’s stay home orders to protect against the spread of COVID-19 were in full effect, and if my family was feeling financially burdened before the virus, we were now living with less, and barely scraping by. The paid maternity leave was an opportunity for me to finally catch my breath from my full-time job. I used it to reevaluate our budget, be present with my

I was t h e m o st ex hauste d I ’d eve r b e e n an d o ur f am i ly ’s f inanc e s we r e v uln e r ab l e.

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Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • May 2020

continued on next page

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children, and continue to make ends meet by side-hustling with my now fully online tutoring business.

About Washington’s Paid Family and Medical Leave

In 2020, Washington State rolled out a paid family and medical leave program. Individuals can receive paid time off after “a serious health condition prevents you from working or when you need time to care for a family member or a new child, or for certain military-related events.”

For example, a qualifying event could be major surgery where you can apply for paid leave. If you are married and your spouse will need to care for you, they can also apply for paid leave. To be able to receive this new assistance, employees must “have worked in Washington for 820 hours, experienced a qualifying event and be able to provide proof of identification.” There are also a few exceptions for federal employees, and people working on tribal land.

If you meet the requirements, you are eligible for “up to 12 weeks of paid family and medical leave a year. Some people may qualify for up to 16 or 18 weeks.” continued on page 14

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • May 2020

13

Feature: Moms and Kids Benefit from Washington’s Paid Maternity Leave (cont'd) continued from page 13

You also don’t have to take all your leave at once. In my case, I gave birth in 2019 and used up all my company’s private paid time off and maternity leave policy in 7 weeks, before the new Washington State-provided paid leave policy went into effect. The 7 weeks provided by my employer counts against the total 12 weeks offered by the state, so to legally be able to hold onto my job, I can only take 5 more weeks from my total 12 weeks granted.

How Much Money Can Your Family Expect?

You might be wondering how much of your salary will be covered by the program, especially if both parents would like to take advantage of the leave. You can expect “up to 90 percent of your weekly pay.” With a maximum of “$1,000 a week.” A weekly pay estimator is provided on Washington’s Paid Family and Medical Leave website (see sidebar on page 16).

How is the Program Funded?

The medical and maternity paid leave is “funded through premiums paid by both employees and employers. The premium is 0.4 percent of employees’ gross wages, with the contribution divided between the employee and the employer.” I was notified last year that money would be taken out of my paycheck to support this new program.

If you’re a small business it is “not required to pay the employer portion of the premium, but they still collect and submit the employees’ share of the premium, and their employees are fully eligible for the benefit.” In general, the cost is a shared burden from both employees and employers.

Go to Vancouver FamilyMagazine.com for links to Washington State’s Paid Family

Small business owner Cindy Halcumb, of KC Development located in Camas, and mother of two, is thankful that the program doesn’t require small businesses to pay the employer portion, but states that, “If I lost even one employee for a 12-week period, it would be devastating to our clients and the overall success of our business.” One way to solve this is to encourage employees to take time off in small amounts.

Employees don’t need to take the entire leave all at once. For example, you might “take one day off a week to care for a family member receiving chemotherapy treatment.” Still, workers must take off a minimum of 8 hours at a time. For a full-time employee that would be one workday, but for a part-time employee that may be two or more.

History of Advocacy

To have this act pass as law was years in the making, and began with parents coming together to tell their stories. Momrising, founded in 2006, is a national organization based in Washington State. Its first goal was to help pass paid family leave for the state.

Campaigns began with lots of phone calls and networking to get the word out. In 2007, Paid Family Leave in Washington was passed, but then later unfunded. But Momrising did not give up, working hard for ten more years to have the current Family Medical Leave Act pass in 2017.

and Medical Leave for employees and employers.

During those years Momrising set up a listening tour in major cities across the state of Washington made up of bipartisan local, state, and federal legislators as well as business owners and community members. Vancouver continued on next page

14

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • May 2020

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was a major stop with Senator Ann Rivers, Senator Annette Cleveland, and Representative Sharon Wylie in attendance. The goal of the listening tour was to share experiences of caring for a child or family member. This made it easier “to have a productive conversation about the opportunities and barriers for advancing paid family and medical leave” says the Momrising storybook “When Moms Rise.” This tour created a springboard of bipartisan support to make the paid medical leave a reality in years to come.

Benefits for Washingtonians

We can compare Washington State’s program to California, where a similar paid family and medical leave program was passed.

Based on their results, these are the benefits Washingtonians may experience: • Reduces Infant Mortality Rates “Moms with paid leave are also more likely to breastfeed exclusively.”

• Prevents Children being Exposed to Poverty “A quarter of all poverty spells are caused by the birth of a new child.”

• Could Save Taxpayer Dollars “Women with access to paid leave are 39% less likely to

receive public assistance and 40% less likely to receive food stamps in the year following a child’s birth.”

The anxiety I was feeling due to the financial, physical and emotional stressors of caring for a child are not unique to me. I share my story knowing I’m not alone. As stated above, families can be one child away from dropping into the depths of poverty.

Washington’s paid family and medical leave gives those families a hand up.

As I write this, I am enjoying the first week of paid maternity leave.

I have spent my time snuggling with my kiddos, enjoying a welldeserved nap (the first in months), and building strong bonds and connections with my infant son. All of this promotes the financial and emotional health of our family for years to come.

Maria Halcumb is a teacher, writer, reading specialist, and mother of two. You can find her reading books, being active in nature, minimizing her life and spending time with family and friends in Vancouver. If you want to learn more about Maria you can check out her local Southwest Washington blog Literallysimple.com and tutoring business.

Author Maria Halcumb with her son.

Photo courtesy Maria Halcumb

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • May 2020

15

Feature: Learning at Home

LEARNING

AT HOME LIFE CHANGED

ade E igh th gr om call. o Z s s la c E n glish

By Nikki Klock

DRAMATICALLY

for Washington state families on March 13, 2020. That was the

day that students in grades K-12 learned that all schools would be

temporarily closed to slow the spread of COVID-19. It would turn out to be the last day of their 2019-20 school year. Many students

never got a chance to say goodbye to their friends and teachers

eth er.

Everyone “workin g” tog

in person, and many are too young to fully understand the reasons for the closure. The confusion and loss were exacerbated

by conflicting information from various sources about how K-12

Pets are loving the extra attention!

education would proceed in this new unprecedented atmosphere.

Since those first days that now seem like a lifetime ago, Clark

County families have worked to create and facilitate learning from home for their kids, all while juggling jobs, maintaining

a household, worrying about finances and health concerns,

preserving relationships and more. It’s a time we’ll never forget, and one that undoubtedly holds opportunity, even within the huge challenge. We asked local families to share with us photos of what learning at home looks like for them, and the photos tell a story much larger than our words ever could.

YOU’VE GOT THIS, PARENTS! 16

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • May 2020

pets to o!

An d stuffed

Dining room learning

Math class

F irst grade virtual commun ity circle.

n.

Eighth grade Google Classroom sessio

Kitchen science

Kitchen counter prescho ol science lesson about airflow and pressure.

acle course esign ed obst In do or kid-d New iPad from Vancouver Public Schools guides kindergarten math.

Movement break!

Fourth grade math class Zoom call.

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • May 2020

17

Novel coronavirus What is novel coronavirus?

Novel coronavirus (COVID-19) is a virus strain that has only spread in people since December 2019.

Health experts are concerned because little is known about this new virus and it has the potential to cause severe illness and pneumonia in some people.

How does novel coronavirus spread?

Health experts are still learning the details about how this new coronavirus spreads. Other coronaviruses spread from an infected person to others through: ·

the air by coughing and sneezing

·

close personal contact, such as touching or shaking hands

·

touching an object or surface with the virus on it, then touching your mouth, nose, or eyes

·

in rare cases, contact with feces

How severe is novel coronavirus?

Experts are still learning about the range of illness from novel coronavirus. Reported cases have ranged from mild illness (similar to a common cold) to severe pneumonia that requires hospitalization. So far, deaths have been reported mainly in older adults who had other health conditions.

What are the symptoms?

People who have been diagnosed with novel coronavirus have reported symptoms that may appear in as few as 2 days or as long as 14 days after exposure to the virus:

Fever

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Cough

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • May 2020

Difficulty breathing

Who is at risk for novel coronavirus?

Currently the risk to the general public is low. At this time, there are a small number of individual cases in the U.S. To minimize the risk of spread, health officials are working with healthcare providers to promptly identify and evaluate any suspected cases.

Travelers to and from certain areas of the world may be at increased risk. See wwwnc.cdc.gov/ travel for the latest travel guidance from the CDC.

How can I prevent from getting novel coronavirus?

If you are traveling overseas (to China but also to other places) follow the CDC’s guidance: wwwnc.cdc.gov/travel.

Right now, the novel coronavirus has not been spreading widely in the United States, so there are no additional precautions recommended for the general public. Steps you can take to prevent spread of flu and the common cold will also help prevent coronavirus: ·

wash hands often with soap and water. If not available, use hand sanitizer.

·

avoid touching your eyes, nose, or mouth with unwashed hands

·

avoid contact with people who are sick

·

stay home while you are sick and avoid close contact with others

·

cover your mouth/nose with a tissue or sleeve when coughing or sneezing

Currently, there are no vaccines available to prevent novel coronavirus infections.

How is novel coronavirus treated?

There are no medications specifically approved for coronavirus. Most people with mild coronavirus illness will recover on their own by drinking plenty of fluids, resting, and taking pain and fever medications. However, some cases develop pneumonia and require medical care or hospitalization.

For more information: www.clark.wa.gov/public-health/ novel-coronavirus; www.doh.wa.gov/coronavirus Adapted from Public Health – Seattle & King County

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • May 2020

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Feature: Expanding Options for Early Learning

E X PA N D I N G

PTIONS FOR

E A R L Y Le A r N I n G

By Julia Antopol Hirsch

Preschool for all is the mission of

Kendra Yamamoto, preschool teacher and 2017 Teacher of the Year for Educational Service District (ESD) 112 in Vancouver.

She teaches at the only district-funded general education preschool for Vancouver Public Schools (VPS) and her dream is to extend preschool to all.

Most parents and teens today will remember kindergarten as a half-day program focused on play and socialization, more like what a typical preschool is like.

Students were not introduced to basic reading and arithmetic until the first grade.

Those same skills are now being taught on day one in kindergarten classes across the country. To track progress, the newly 5-year-old students are included in statemandated testing at different points in the school year.

The shift to a full-time, more academically focused kindergarten curriculum occurred in Washington State six years ago. A state study showed that only 53.1% of students at kindergarten age met all the physical, emotional and academic standards for kindergarten readiness upon entering school. Low-income students fared worse,

at 38.7%. Additionally, the financial burden for working parents having to pick up a child in the middle of the day inspired the state to expand kindergarten classes to a full school day.

While the needs for families and expectations for students have changed, American education is still K-12 focused. Many view preschool as an optional choice or luxury for those who can afford it. However, that perception is slowly beginning to change as more areas adopt a preschoolfor-all approach. Several states such as Oklahoma, Florida and Georgia, as well as New York City now offer universal pre-K programs.

Yamamoto taught in Vancouver Public Schools (VPS) for eight years before leaving when her first child was born. “I didn’t foresee landing here,” she says.

“I’d resigned and planned to be a stayat-home mom. Then I got a call from the district saying that kindergartners were really struggling. ‘How would you like to start a preschool program?’” It began as a pilot class to offer free preschool through the public-school platform. The program continued on page 22

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Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • May 2020

2017 Teacher of the Year, Kendra Yamamoto, with a few of her students.

Photos courtesy of Kendra Yamamoto

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Feature: Expanding Options for Early Learning (cont'd) continued from page 20

has grown to be so popular that each year there is a waiting list to get in.

At the time Yamamoto came back to work, Head Start was the only program to offer free preschool to low-income families.

To qualify, a family of four had to earn $33,000 or less a year. In addition, there was a daunting amount of regulations and paperwork involved in the registration process, which could be intimidating for parents. That system also left a bubble filled with families who made more than $33,000, yet could still not afford a tuition-based preschool. “The district is really focused on early learning,” says Yamamoto, “So we brainstormed on what we could do and how we could reach families whose children were preschool age.”

To address those students on the preschool waiting list, as well as families without preschool options, Yamamoto began an evening preschool program open to all students the year before they would begin kindergarten. Thanks to district funding, local donors and her early learning partner, Kelly Mainka, the evening school program has now grown to include 13 elementary schools in the district.

One to two nights a week (depending on the school), a child visits the school, eats dinner and then engages in a family activity. During the program, children get accustomed to a classroom setting and parents begin to feel assured that school is a safe place to send their child.

Along with the evening programs, VPS offers the Jump Start program at all elementary schools. Jump Start is held for one to two consecutive weeks in the summer for children attending kindergarten that fall. The goal is to give incoming kindergartners a taste of a classroom experience in the school they will be attending. For the kids, it’s a fun way to help them prepare for the school

year by becoming familiar with the routines and rules of the school.

Grow and Learn is another free early learning program housed at many VPS elementary schools.

This ESD 112 program runs throughout the school year and offers parents and children age birth to 5, a weekly hour-and-a-half class.

Children have story time, a snack and engage in a hands-on activity. Its focus is to acclimate families into a classroom experience, better preparing students to enter kindergarten ready to learn.

Over the last three years, Yamamoto has worked with local architects to help design early learning classrooms in three new elementary schools being built in Vancouver. The classrooms can be rented out for state and federally funded preschools or developed as district earlylearning centers. As more programs become available, the biggest hurdle to overcome is getting the word out.

“Churches have been excellent partners, as well as apartment complexes and neighbors,” says Yamamoto. continued on next page

22

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • May 2020

Go to VancouverFamily Magazine.com for a list of free preschool programs in Vancouver, and to access Vancouver Public Schools’ Early Learning Newsletter (developed by Kendra Yamamoto), available in English, Spanish, Russian and Chuukese.

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continued from previous page

Kindergarten is much more advanced than it used to be, and it’s important for every child to have some kind of classroom experience before they enter a full academic day of school. “It’s so frustrating and heartbreaking for kindergarten teachers to have to sit down with a parent on their first parent-teacher conference and explain to the parent that their child is already behind the others in class,” describes Yamamoto. “I want to prevent those difficult conversations. We can, if we’ve given those children enough opportunities to be ready for kindergarten.

Not just the kids, but their families as well.”

Julia Antopol Hirsch lives with her husband and two children in Vancouver, where she is working on her third novel. She is the author of “The Sound of Music: The Making of America’s Favorite Movie,” which was reissued in 2018.

She loves to swim and read, and has three mischievous dogs who love to go to the dog park every day.

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • May 2020

23

Feature: Discussing Death: Healing and Helping at End of Life

Discussing Death: Healing and Helping at End of Life

By Dana Greyson

No one knows

how many people will die from COVID-19. Yet in the wake of this pandemic, how many of us are ready or able to discuss death in a healthy way, or know where to go to have those conversations?

Most people have never heard of a Death Café, but Death Cafés have been hosted in the Vancouver/ Portland area for over two years.

“We have never in our lifetimes had to contend with such unprecedented changes to our lifestyle, and threats to our health and well-being,” states Jools Barsky, co-founder of Death Café, a nonprofit social franchise. “Never has there been such a need to talk about death and dying.”

What Is Death Café?

Far from a morbid fixation, Death Café’s website describes it as a place “to increase awareness of death to help people make the most of their (finite) lives. . . At a Death Café people, often strangers, gather to eat cake, drink tea and discuss death.” The atmosphere is a group-directed discussion of death with no agenda, objectives or themes. Participants meet at a predetermined time and place, face-to-face or virtually.

Discussions are led by at least one facilitator, who gives a brief overview and prompts each participant to introduce themselves.

Facilitators keep the conversation flowing and make sure everyone present understands the importance of confidentiality and respect for diverse perspectives. Most events are free, as the organization’s policy is to never have a ticket price or exclude those who can’t afford to donate.

What Death Café Is Not Death Café is . . .

• Not a sales pitch or workshop. Death Café events are specifically designed with no intention of leading people to any conclusion, product or course of action. Its purpose is not to sell, give advice or information. Participants may learn and crystalize their own opinions or do more research as a result of the event.

• Not a grief counseling session. Other groups and resources are available, which specifically serve that need. How to find those resources may come up in the discussion. Participants may find themselves processing their grief because of the discussion.

• Not a community support group. While connections may organically occur as a result of this shared experience, ongoing support is not the Death Café’s intent. Support resources may be brought up if the topic arises.

How Death Café Got Started The origins of Death Café begin with a Swiss sociologist named Bernard Crettaz. Crettaz began hosting gatherings around his home town and other cities in Europe to discuss the finality of life.

Jon Underwood, a London-based web developer, was intrigued by the idea of these meetings and began hosting similar meetings in his own home. In 2010, he created the website DeathCafé. com with his mother Sue Barsky Reid, a psychotherapist and counselor. Reid developed the framework for the discussions held at a Death Café while Underwood also worked on other continued on next page

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Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • May 2020

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continued from previous page

projects to help change the negative perspectives of death. Sadly, Underwood passed away suddenly in 2017. Death Café is now run by his mother and his sister Jools Barsky. His other projects are continued through an organization called Impermanence based in the United Kingdom.

" Talking helps. Talking heals.

Talking helps us prepare."

Since Underwood’s first Death Café, over 10,000 Death Cafes have taken place in over 70 countries world-wide.

Death Café’s Southwest Washington Evolution Meagan Hope, a Clark County certified end-of-life owner of Bridges End of Life Services attended her Café at Vancouver Community Library in 2018. At the were only one or two Death Café events per year in Washington.

doula and first Death time, there Southwest

Hope saw a need for regular Death Cafés in Southwest Washington because of the population growth in Clark and Cowlitz counties. In 2019, she started SW Washington Death Café along with the staff at Community Home Health and Hospice.

“Talking helps,” Hope says. “Talking heals. Talking helps us prepare.” continued on page 26

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • May 2020

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Feature: Discussing Death: Healing and Helping at End of Life (cont’d) continued from page 25

Several local Southwest Washington Death Cafés later, attendee feedback is positive. Common feedback comments include: “That was healing. I was able to open up” “That was a great first baby step.”

“My friends and family don’t want to talk about this because they think it’s morbid. No one else wants to talk about it [based on a fear death].”

Meagan Hope:

Birth of a Death Doula Meagan Hope photo credit: Arkady Brown Photography. Graphic credit: Meagan Hope

Death Café—a Slight Regional Spin Tea and cake harken to Death Café’s British roots. With a slight twist, Hope’s Southwest Washington Death Cafes still honor food’s role in fostering communal conversation. “We offer tea, though here in the Pacific Northwest we also like our coffee.” Rather than serving cake, Hope’s Death Cafés welcome potluck. She believes, “what attendees bring to share reflects who they are.”

A Local Mom Shares Her Death Café Experience As a professional heath care consultant, Grace LaConte is all too familiar with our society’s tendency to “treat death as a medical process, or some terrible, horrible thing, rather than welcoming death as an end-of-life event.”

LaConte, a Vancouver mom of three kids, felt compelled to engage with this cultural conundrum personally. “Turning 40, I found myself facing my own mortality, realizing based on an average lifespan, my life was basically halfway over.”

With no family nearby and her kids approaching adolescence, LaConte wanted to discuss death with her children. “Death is an odd topic,” she says. “It’s hard to talk about it.” She was looking for a safe, comfortable, non-judgmental environment, where her “quirky perspective” would be welcome. “It’s not just old people that die. Death can be prolonged, or sudden. There are no guarantees.”

She discovered Hope’s Southwest Washington Death Café and attended. Initially cynical, she expected a sales pitch but was pleasantly surprised. By the end of the Café, former strangers felt as if they’d known each other for years. “We all felt more connected, hugging, exchanging info,” LaConte says.

She would like to see more parents attend, to have discussions with their kids. LaConte has become a Death Café advocate.

“Today’s parents are referred to as the sandwich generation,” she explains, “raising their children while facing the end of life of their parents. With COVID-19, these discussions are timelier than ever. Death Cafés are open to anyone who would like to talk about death, including older kids and teens.” continued on page 28

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Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • May 2020

At the tender age of 8, Meagan Hope began helping care for her grandparents. In 2014, she trained as a caregiver for her aging grandmother. Hope’s husband, Simon Blanco, helped Hope with her grandmother for nearly two years, to her final days.

Hope and Blanco shared a calling to care for those who could no longer care for themselves or might need guidance during their end of life. They wanted to create a positive and supportive business to provide what was needed at that critical juncture. They began educating themselves about end-of-life and death.

When two neighbors, a married couple, were dying from cancer, Hope discovered they had no nearby family, few friends and no help. Hope and Blanco’s past experience with Hope’s grandmother prompted them to offer assistance. They spent about 150 hours helping their neighbors through their end-of-life journey. The couple died within six weeks of each other.

That experience inspired Hope to become a certified end-of-life doula (CEOLD) through Quality of Life Care’s program. End-of-life (or death) doula services are defined by the National End-of-Life Doula Alliance (NEDA) as “non-medical, holistic support and comfort to the dying person and their family, which may include education and guidance as well as emotional, spiritual or practical care.”

“We’re a society that doesn’t talk about death,” Hope says. “When a person receives a limiting illness diagnosis it can be a lot to process. Not just emotionally, there are many things that have to be set up and put in order.”

Hope and Blanco opened Bridges End of Life Services to help families in Southwest Washington and Portland, Oregon find comfort, understand their options and make their own decisions.

“Everyone’s journey is so different,” Hope concludes.

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Feature: Discussing Death: Healing and Helping at End of Life (cont’d) continued from page 26

LaConte plans to attend more Death Cafés with her 11-year-old, who’s asked to join her. “Teens are exposed to a lot more than most parents realize,” insists LaConte. “Talking about the cycle of birth and death, the unknown, what you’d like to happen when you die, a celebration for when you pass . . . Those conversations can be very healing and comforting for children. The media is really negative, so these conversations can build resilience for both kids and adults.”

Want to Attend a Local Death Café?

Southwest Washington Death Café plans to host at least six Death Cafés annually. Check their Facebook page at @ SWWashingtonDeathCafe for upcoming events and volunteer opportunities.

Death Café in the Era of Social Distancing On March 24, 2020, Death Café co-founders posted an indefinite postponement to the in-person gatherings. “There should be no further face-to-face Death Cafés until we know from our governments and World Health Organization (WHO)/national health authorities that it is safe to have social gatherings again.”

However, they do encourage virtual cafés.

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Cariboo Community Deathcaring Network (CCDC) in Canada is experienced in hosting virtual Death Cafés. “We weren’t spurred on by the pandemic,” Nicola Finch explains. “Our local community is very spread out, winters can be harsh; roads become dangerous.

Virtual Death Cafés became our winter solution. Our virtual cafés run the same way as our in-person cafés. There is an informal 5 or 10 minutes at the start as folks gather in the Zoom meeting. Zoom makes the gatherings personal and it’s similar to sitting around a table together. It’s lovely to sit and chat from the comfort of home in our sweats if we want to . . . What we miss with virtual cafés is gathering around the coffee and snacks. Most acutely [though], we miss the hugs!” CCDC plans to continue their virtual Death Cafés and resume their community cafés when they can safely do so.

Dana Greyson thrives on researching and writing about relationships, wellness and travel. She’s working on a book about her travels halfway around the world on a small sailboat. She occasionally posts about her unique lifestyle on www.GalleyWenchTales.com and you can view her writing portfolio at clippings.me/danagreyson.

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • May 2020

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