SC Living January 2014

Paddles up

Dragon boat racing builds bodies, confidence and friendships SC Sc e n e

USO is here for our troops

January 2014

SC Sto r i e s

T-shirts and turtles Humor Me

Windshield deflection

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THE MAGAZINE FOR COOPERATIVE MEMBERS Vol. 68 • No. 1 (ISSN 0047-486X, USPS 316-240) Read in more than 460,000 homes and businesses and published monthly except in December by The Electric Cooperatives of South Carolina, Inc. 808 Knox Abbott Drive Cayce, SC 29033

January 2014 • Volume 68, Number 1

Tel: (803) 926-3 1 75 Fax: (803) 796-6064 Email: letters@scliving.coop EDITOR

Keith Phillips ASSISTANT EDITOR

Diane Veto Parham FIELD EDITOR

Walter Allread PUBLICATION COORDINATOR

Pam Martin

ART DIRECTOR

Sharri Harris Wolfgang DESIGNER

FEATURE

Susan Collins

15 Paddles up!

PRODUCTION

Andrew Chapman WEB EDITOR

Van O’Cain COPY EDITOR

Susan Scott Soyars

Mic Smith

Contributors

The ancient sport of dragon boat racing offers hope and healing for South Carolina cancer survivors.

Becky Billingsley, Mike Couick, Jim Dulley, Carrie B. Hirsch, Jan A. Igoe, Charles Joyner, Megan McKoy-Noe, Marc Rapport, Brian Sloboda

ADDRESS CHANGES: Please send

to your local co-op. Postmaster: Send Form 3579 to Address Change, c/o the address above.

Periodicals postage paid at Columbia, S.C., and additional mailing offices. © COPYRIGHT 201 4. The Electric Cooperatives of South Carolina, Inc. No portion of South Carolina Living may be reproduced without permission of the Editor.

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING is brought to you by your member-owned, taxpaying, not-for-profit electric cooperative to inform you about your cooperative, wise energy use and the faces and places that identify the Palmetto State. Electric cooperatives are South Carolina’s — and America’s — largest utility network.

POWER USER DIALOGUE

10 Thinking outside the vacuum South Carolina’s nonprofit electric cooperatives face new challenges in 2014, but our mission remains unchanged—serving you with affordable, reliable power.

ENERGY Q&A

12 Shopping for space heaters

A good space heater will keep your favorite room cozy this winter, but it can’t replace your home’s central heating system.

SC LIFE STORIES

21 Clothes for a cause

Meet the Upstate couple behind a trendy clothing brand that supports S.C. textile workers and sea turtle conservation projects.

Printed on recycled paper

Member of the NCM network of publications, reaching more than 7 million homes and businesses

28 Two hundred acres of

history and nature

Old Santee Canal Park showcases two unique elements of S.C. history in a beautiful natural setting.

CHEF’S CHOICE

30 Fresh fish, family-style

At Conway’s Freshwater Fish Company, tasty seafood is a family affair.

RECIPE

22

32 Souped-up meals

to bowl you over

Creamy vegetable salmon stew Butternut squash soup Potato cheese chowder Spicy black bean soup with sweet potato puree

k

Paid advertisements are not endorsements by any electric cooperative or this publication.

If you encounter a difficulty with an advertisement, inform the Editor.

24

TR AVELS

to c

National Country Market Tel: (800) NCM-1181

The Colleton Solar Farm— the state’s largest—is up and running, providing co-ops a realworld laboratory for studying solar energy. Plus: Are LEDpowered lightbulbs a practical solution for home lighting use?

For our men and women in uniform, USO South Carolina offers a little taste of home— and a whole lot of snacks.

/ i s

National Representation

6 ON THE AGENDA

SCENE

22 Aid and comfort

32

ve

Tel: (800) 984-0887 Dan Covell Email: dan@scliving.coop Keegan Covell Email: keegan@scliving.coop

Cooperative news

ea ti

ADVERTISING MANAGERS

Mary Ann Chastain

Lou Green

1 mo

HUMOR ME

cr re

38 Honey, your windshield

is safe with me

Jan A. Igoe argues for more transparency in parking-lot business negotiations.

34 MARKETPLACE 36 SC EVENTS

PADDLES UP

Dragon boat racing builds bodies, confidence and friendships SC SC E N E

USO is here for our troops

SC STO R I E S

JANUARY 2014

4 CO-OP CONNECTION

Publisher

T-shirts and turtles HUMOR ME

Windshield deflection

The members of Dragon Boat Charleston pull together to win the fight against cancer.

Photo by Mic Smith.

On the Agenda For a listing p m co lete s, see of Event 6 page 3

Highlights TOP PICK FOR KIDS

THROUGH JANuary 20

Skating on Main Street

No need to wait for the neighborhood pond to freeze over—you can get your skate on downtown at openair ice skating rinks in Greenville (pictured) and Columbia.

Pro hockey players and the mascot from the Road Warriors will make guest appearances at Greenville’s Ice on Main during January. The 13th is NFL Night at Columbia’s Main Street Ice—glide the rink in your favorite team colors.

For details, visit iceonmain.com or call (864) 467-4355; or columbiasc.net/parks-recreation, (803) 545-3100.

JANuary 23

Exploring Mars with NASA Engineer Kobie Boykins Boykins is the NASA engineer behind the robotic rovers that explore the red planet and its secrets. A dynamic storyteller, Boykins will share his behind-thescenes tales of space exploration and Mars discoveries in this National Geographic Live presentation at Harbison Theatre at Midlands Technical College in Irmo.

For details, visit harbisontheatre.org or call (803) 407-5011.

JANuary 16–17

JANuary 26

Agribusiness is big business in South Carolina. Discover it all at one site during the second annual AgriBiz & Farm Expo at Florence Civic Center.

Exhibits and educational sessions are geared to everything from large-scale agricultural operations to smaller niche farms. Don’t miss the Taste of South Carolina reception, showcasing S.C. products, and a cooking demo with chef Nathalie Dupree.

Heaps of oysters are hauled on two loaded tractor trailers to the back lawn of Boone Hall Plantation in Mount Pleasant for this event billed as “the world’s largest oyster festival.”

The fun includes shucking and eating contests, music, children’s activities, and plenty of Charleston-area cuisine.

S.C. Agribiz & Farm Expo

Lowcountry Oyster Festival

For details, call (843) 577-4030 or visit charlestonrestaurantassociation.com.

For details, visit scagribizexpo.com or call (843) 432-1224.

FEBruary 12–16

Beaufort International Film Festival Forrest Gump, filmed largely in Beaufort, turns 20 this year, and the film festival is celebrating with Gumpthemed events and a tribute to Arthur Schmidt, who won an Oscar for editing for the movie. Named one of the “Coolest Film Festivals in the World” by MovieMaker magazine, the eighth annual BIFF will screen 30 new films, with the audience voting for favorites.

For details, visit beaufortfilmfestival.com or call (843) 522-3196.

6

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | January 2014 | scliving.coop

Email COMMENTS, QUESTIONS AND Story suggestions TO LETTERS@SCLIVING.COOP

Renewable Energy

Shining new light on solar power

Walterboro Charleston

It took a lot of careful planning

photos by Mic Smith

and hard work, but South Carolina’s largest solar energy farm is up and running.

Now the sun has to do its part.

The Colleton Solar Farm, a joint project between South Carolina’s electric cooperatives, Santee Cooper and TIG Sun Energy, is a first-of-itskind collaboration designed to test the true potential for solar energy in South Carolina.

With more than 10,000 photovoltaic panels arrayed on a 27-acre tract, the new facility has a peak generating capacity of 3 megawatts of electricity on clear days when the sun is directly overhead. In 2014, if the weather follows normal patterns, the plant could produce as much as 4.468 megawatthours, or enough electricity to supply the annual needs of 300 South Carolina homes.

Due to the intermittent nature of solar power, the electricity produced at the solar farm will cost more per kilowatt-hour than conventional electricity supplies.

South Carolina’s electric cooperatives will offer the electricity generated by the solar facility to industrial customers across the state, while studying better ways to integrate renewable energy into the conventional power grid.

“The Colleton Solar Farm is

Completed ahead of schedule, the solar farm began feeding power into the grid in mid-December.

You’ll be able to spot the solar farm on the east side of Interstate 95 near Walterboro.

Half of the 10,000 photovoltaic panels at the facility will pivot to follow the sun’s track through the sky.

The other half will remain in a fixed position.

a real-world, full-scale learning tool,” says Ron Calcaterra, CEO of Central Electric Power Cooperative, the wholesale power provider for the state’s electric cooperatives. “The question co-ops want to answer is how we can design a consumer-friendly product that makes solar power available to our members in a reliable, affordable and economically sustainable way.”

Web Extra Video Visit SCLiving.coop

to see a time-lapse video of the Colleton Solar Farm coming to life.

S.C.RAMBLE!

By Charles Joyner, See Answer ON Page 35

Fill In the blanks The pundit says, “Housemaids eventually _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ .” m c l e m r l a s e b l Use the capital letters in the code key below to fill in the blanks above.

D E N O R S T U spells “scramble”

energy efficiency tip

Keep your electric bills under control this winter. Take little measures like turning down the thermostat, washing clothes in cold water, swapping out lightbulbs for high-efficiency versions, and using microwaves or toaster ovens to cook. Find more ways to save at TogetherWeSave.com. Source: TogetherWeSave.com scliving.coop | january 2014 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

7

On the Agenda SCLiving.coop

Featured Videos

And the winner is.… Jacob Park, quarterback of Goose Creek’s Stratford High School, walked away from the Touchstone Energy Cooperatives Bowl with a new piece of hardware for his trophy case—the 2013 Mr. Football Award. Watch the video as Park reacts to winning the state’s top individual prep sports award.

Mission accomplished. Go behind the scenes as USO ­volunteers hand out holiday treats to hundreds of men and women in uniform during the annual Christmas exodus at Columbia Metropolitan Airport.

Awaken the Dragon. Don’t miss this inspiring movie trailer featuring the Dragon Boat Charleston team.

Bonus Stories Beautiful and deadly. What could be cooler than bug-eating plants? Check out this exclusive photo gallery of native carnivorous plants, and learn how to grow your own.

Clearing the air. Breathe easier with 12 new ways to filter, purify and humidify the air in your home.

The Best the of Palmetto State

new email Visit SCLiving.coop to sign up for our tos, recipes newsletter and get the latest stories, pho emailed azine mag and other highlights from the th. mon y ever x to your inbo

A solid lighting solution Beginning this month, old-fashioned 40-watt and 60-watt i­ncandescent lightbulbs will no longer be produced under the standards set by Congress in the Energy Independence and Security Act of 2007 (EISA).

The law, which requires lightbulbs for home use to become 70 percent more efficient than classic incandescent bulbs, has already forced the phase-out of traditional 100-watt incandescent bulbs in January 2012 and 75-watt bulbs in January 2013.

The Department of Energy estimates that Americans will save $6 billion to $10 billion a year in lighting costs as a result of these new standards.

In place of traditional incandescent bulbs, some consumers are turning to LEDs. While they are more expensive than the advanced halogen incandescent bulbs and compact fluorescent lamps (CFLs) currently on the market for home use, LED bulbs last much longer and use the least energy.

When shopping for LEDs, look for the Energy Star logo, and use the lighting facts label to compare performance in key areas, including: u Lumens: Measures light output.

See the chart (above right) for the lumens required to replace old-­ fashioned lightbulbs. u Lumens per watt: Measures efficiency. The higher the number, the more efficient the product. u Watts: Measures the energy required to light the product. The lower the wattage, the less energy is used. u Color Temperature: Measures light color. “Cool” colors have higher Kelvin temperatures (3,600–5,500 K); “warm” colors have lower color temperatures (2,700–3,000 K). Color temperatures of 2,700 to 3,600 K are recommended for most general indoor and task lighting.

For more information on LEDs, visit energysavers.gov/lighting.

—Megan McKoy-Noe and Brian Sloboda

8

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | January 2014 | scliving.coop

Instead of shopping for watts, look for lumens.

Lumens

(brightness)

Watts (power)

O n ly o n

What to look for when purchasing lightbulbs

150 W

2,600 lm

100 W

1,600 lm

75 W

1,100 lm

60 W

800 lm

40 W

450 lm

Estimates based on typical incandescent bulbs. Source: U.S. Federal Trade Commission

GONE FISHIN’ The Vektor Fish & Game Forecast provides feeding and migration times. Major periods can bracket the peak by an hour.

Minor peaks, ½ hour before and after.

Minor

PM Major

17 7:31 12:46 1:01 18 8:01 1:01 1:31 19 8:16 1:31 2:16 20 8:46 2:01 8:16 21 9:16 2:31 9:16 22 3:01 9:46 11:01 23 3:46 10:31 — 24 1:46 11:16 — 25 7:01 3:31 12:31 26 8:46 4:16 1:46 27 9:46 5:01 2:46 28 10:46 5:31 3:46 29 11:31 6:16 4:46 30 — 6:46 12:01 31 7:16 12:31 12:46

6:16 6:46 7:31 2:46 3:46 4:46 6:16 7:31 8:31 9:31 10:16 11:01 11:46 5:31 6:16

Minor

AM Major

January

February 1 7:46 1:01 1:31 7:16 2 8:16 1:46 8:01 2:16 3 8:46 2:16 9:01 3:16 4 2:46 9:16 10:16 4:01 5 3:16 9:46 — 5:16 6 12:31 10:31 — 6:46 7 — 11:16 — 8:01 8 8:16 4:46 12:46 9:01 9 9:31 5:01 2:01 9:46 10 10:16 5:16 3:01 10:16 11 10:46 5:31 3:46 10:46 12 11:16 6:01 4:31 11:16 13 11:46 6:16 5:01 11:46 14 — 6:31 12:16 5:46 15 6:46 12:16 12:31 6:16 16 7:16 12:46 1:01 7:01

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ITEM 47737/69080/ 69030/69031 Item 47737 shown

5

$ 99 VALUE

ANY SINGLE ITEM!

LIMIT 1 - Save 25% on any one item purchased at our stores or HarborFreight.com or by calling 800-423-2567. *Cannot be used with other discount, coupon, gift cards, Inside Track Club membership, extended service plans or on any of the following: compressors, generators, tool storage or carts, welders, floor jacks, Towable Ride-On Trencher (Item 65162), open box items, in-store event or parking lot sale items. Not valid on prior purchases after 30 days from original purchase date with original receipt. Non-transferable. Original coupon must be presented. Valid through 5/12/14. Limit one coupon per customer per day.

WITH ANY PURCHASE LIMIT 1 - Cannot be used with other discount, coupon or prior purchase. Coupon good at our stores, HarborFreight.com or by calling 800-423-2567. Offer good while supplies last.

Shipping & Handling charges may apply if not picked up in-store. Non-transferable. Original coupon must be presented. Valid through 5/12/14. Limit one coupon per customer per day.

NOBODY BEATS OUR QUALITY, SERVICE AND PRICE!

27 LED PORTABLE WORKLIGHT/FLASHLIGHT

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SAVE 55% Requires three AAA batteries (included).

LOT NO. 67227/ 69567/60566

2

$

Item 95275 shown

$ 69

85

Item 69381 shown

900 PEAK/ 800 RUNNING WATTS 2 HP (63 CC) GAS GENERATOR

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3999

LOT NO. 66619/ 60338/69381

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Not for overhead lifting.

3/8" x 14 FT. GRADE 43 TOWING CHAIN

5400 LB. CAPACITY

LOT NO. 97711/60658

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Item 97711 shown

19

PORTABLE GARAGE LOT NO. 69039/ 60727/68217

SAVE $120

$

99

99

Item 68887 shown

SAVE $50

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Non-transferable. Original coupon must be presented. Valid through 5/12/14. Limit one coupon per customer per day.

RETRACTABLE AIR/WATER HOSE REEL WITH SAVE 3/8" x 50 FT. HOSE

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179

90 AMP FLUX WIRE WELDER NO GAS REQUIRED!

LOT NO. 93897/69265

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$

36999

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RAPID PUMP® 1.5 TON ALUMINUM LOT NO. 68053/ RACING JACK 69252/60569

59

99

Item 68053 shown

WEIGHS 27 LBS.

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"Impressed with the Quality, Covers your Entire Garage at an Unbelievable Low Price" – Street Trucks Magazine Item 93897 shown

99

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LOT NO. 68887/ 61207/61849

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Item 69039 shown

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Non-transferable. Original coupon must be presented. Valid through 5/12/14. Limit one coupon per customer per day.

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$

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99 $

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– Car Craft Magazine LOT NO. 68784/69387 REG. Item 68784 shown PRICE WEIGHS 245 LBS. $649.99

2633 LB. CAPACITY

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12999

discount . Cannot be used with other supplies last. by calling 800-423-2567 or HarborFreight.com or l purchase with original receipt. Offer good while er per day.

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LOT NO. 95275/ 60637/69486/61615

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Non-transferable. Original coupon must be presented. Valid through 5/12/14. Limit one coupon per customer per day.

$

$

REG. PRICE $5.99

3 GALLON, 100 PSI OILLESS PANCAKE AIR COMPRESSOR

SAVE 50%

SAVE

Item 67227 shown

LIMIT 7 - Good at our stores or HarborFreight.com or by calling 800-423-2567. Cannot be used with other discount or coupon or prior purchases after 30 days from original purchase with original receipt. Offer good while supplies last.

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5999

45 WATT SOLAR PANEL KIT

SAVE $115 Item 68751 shown

LOT NO. 68751/90599

$

14499

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REG. PRICE $129.99

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1 TON CAPACITY FOLDABLE SHOP CRANE

LOT NO. 69445/ 69512/ 93840 Item 69512 shown

$999999

$

154

REG. PRICE $249.99

discount . Cannot be used with other supplies last. by calling 800-423-2567 or HarborFreight.com or l purchase with original receipt. Offer good while er per day.

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Item 67255 shown

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4499

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475 Stores Nationwide

Dialogue

Thinking outside the vacuum You could have been as tight-fisted as Ebenezer

Mike Couick

President and CEO, The Electric Cooperatives of South Carolina

10

Scrooge in your Christmas shopping and still dread seeing the mailman stop at your box this month.

It’s not just the Christmas bills, it’s also the IRS Form 1040, the local property tax bill and yes, of course, your local cooperative bill for one of the year’s colder months. You may pull out the budget you have carefully crafted for 2014 and realize that you will start the year in a hole, making it all the more important that your family sort out “wants” from “needs.”

Your neighbors who serve on your local cooperative board or who work at the cooperative must do the same with your co-op’s budget and expenses. They work hard to keep your power bill as low as it can be, but some costs represented in your statement are simply outside their control.

By far the largest portion of their cost to you (nearly 70 percent) is what they pay electricity generators like Santee Cooper and Duke Energy for wholesale electricity. Once the cost of wholesale power and the fixed costs of the electric system infrastructure (wires, poles, substations, etc.) are accounted for, the average cooperative can directly manage less than half of the remaining “local” expenses. That comparatively small share of the bill typically covers things like employees, office expenses and other variable local costs.

Your co-op’s efforts to control expenses do not stop at making every dollar count. It also pushes wholesale power suppliers to control their expenses, advocating for only the necessary amount of generation facilities to be built and pushing generators to negotiate the very best deals for the fuel needed to produce electricity.

Some of our generators’ expenses are driven by state and federal laws, regulations and policies. These costs are much more difficult to control and could go up dramatically in the near future. That’s why your co-op is working with others across the state to keep an eye on two key issues in 2014.

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | January 2014 | scliving.coop

EPA regulations: The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) is considering limiting or prohibiting the operation of coal-fired power plants, even though the federal government forced generators to shift from natural gas to coal in 1978 with the Power Plant and Industrial Fuel Use Act. The cost to you if your cooperative’s wholesale generators are forced to replace existing coal plants with a 50-50 split of new natural gas and nuclear generation would be a 50 percent increase in your bill.

Distributed generation resources: Solar industry activists and others are pushing for policies that would encourage more distributed generation resources, like solar panels. In a vacuum, most of these policies are laudable. But, if our state does not restructure the way electric providers charge for their service, for every cooperative member who uses distributed generation resources like a solar panel, another member has to pick up his neighbor’s part of the cost of a system built to serve all cooperative members.

These two challenges—EPA regulations and distributed generation resources—are complex and will require South Carolina’s nonprofit electric cooperatives to stay vigilant in the coming year. We are dedicated to finding options and working with all parties willing to help us find fair and affordable solutions.

We’ll keep you posted on our progress in the upcoming months, and we may ask for your help from time to time to make sure officials in Columbia and Washington, D.C., understand that their actions have very real consequences for all South Carolinians.

EnergyQ&A

BY jim Dulley

Shopping for space heaters

GetMore Visit SCLiving.coop for two bonus articles: “Space heater safety” and “Energy-saving devices: Too good to be true?”

The following companies offer electric space heaters: De’Longhi, (800) 322-3848, delonghi.com Holmes Products, (800) 546-5637, holmesproducts.com KAZ/Honeywell, (800) 477-0457, kaz.com Lasko, (800) 233-0268, laskoproducts.com Slant Fin, (516) 484-2600, slantfin.com

12

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | January 2014 | scliving.coop

James Dulley

Space heaters are designed to warm small, room-sized areas, and while they can help trim power bills in winter, be wary of ads claiming dramatic reductions.

These claims are often made on the assumption that homeowners will close off other rooms, dramatically lower their thermostat settings and rely on the space heaters for warmth instead of their central heating systems. This simply isn’t practical for most families.

The maximum heat most small space heaters can safely produce is about 5,100 Btuh (Btu per hour).

Houses typically use central heating systems with a capacity of 50,000 to 100,000 Btuh, so a single space heater cannot heat an entire house.

What a space heater can do is keep occupants comfortably warm in problem areas without requiring the homeowner to raise the thermostat setting and overheat the entire house for the sake of a single room.

When shopping for a space heater, it’s important to understand that all electric space heaters are effectively

100 percent efficient. Don’t let advertising claims stating this fact influence your buying decision. This just means all of the electricity consumed ends up as heat in your house. It does not mean it’s cheap to operate.

Consumers can choose from two styles of space heater—direct radiant and convection. Both types have advantages, but there is no “best” electric space heater for every situation. The right choice depends on the room and how you plan to use the heater.

Radiant heaters are quiet and ideal for heating a specific spot. They use a red-hot ribbon, long quartz or carbon tubes to produce infrared heat radiation similar to the sun’s rays.

They primarily heat objects and people directly in front of them.

To heat a slightly larger area, select a model that automatically oscillates.

Convection space heaters are designed to heat the air in an entire room. This is often done using a built-in fan to circulate room air over the heating elements. Radiator-style heaters use natural air circulation (hot air rises) to move room air over the heat source, gently warming the room.

For a living room, often the largest room in a house, consider a convection-style heater. Models with a thermostat and multispeed fan allow you to control the heat output.

Holmes

Q A

I’m considering a small electric space heater for my living room and bedroom. Will it help lower my utility bills, as some ads claim?

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SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | January 2014 | scliving.coop

Pa d d l es u p !

The ancient sport of dragon boat racing offers hope and healing for South Carolina cancer survivors

BY DIANE VETO PARHAM | Photos by Mic Smith

This is a story about dragons, but it’s no fairy tale.

This story is about very real people like Jeannie Wells of Lady’s Island. On Christmas Eve 2012, Wells learned that she had cancer.

On Christmas Day, surgeons removed a grapefruit-sized tumor from Wells’ abdomen. Three weeks later, she started chemotherapy.

Three months later, just halfway through treatments to rid her body of disease, Wells joined 20 new friends in a 44-foot-long dragon boat on the Beaufort River, all paddling to race faster, get stronger and feel happier.

In this story, the evil villain is cancer, and the brave warriors—patients, survivors, families and friends—are the resilient people who have found a way to cope with and conquer the foe through the ancient Chinese sport of dragon boating.

scliving.coop | january 2014 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

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p Crowds lined the Beaufort River for

the dragon boat races at the Beaufort Water Festival in July 2013. More than 20 teams competed, raising funds for DragonBoat Beaufort’s outreach to cancer survivors.

Part of Chinese culture for thousands of years, dragon boat racing has grown rapidly in worldwide popularity in the last two decades, particularly after health researchers ­discovered that the sport can boost both the physical recovery and sense of hope for cancer survivors.

Plus, the dragon—a symbol of strength, power and energy—has become an inspiring icon for people reclaiming their lives after the ravages of cancer treatments and surgeries.

“This is like being in the same battle with comrades,” says Wells, a cancer survivor and a member of DragonBoat Beaufort, one of three South Carolina dragon boat clubs.

“You’re just out there paddling, moving water behind you, moving forward. It feels good metaphorically. You’re part of something bigger than your cancer.”

t Previous page: Coach Beans Kelly’s drum sets the pace for paddlers on the Dragon Boat at the Beach team from Pawley’s Island.

“ You’re just out there paddling, moving water behind you, moving forward.

It feels good metaphorically.

You’re part of something bigger than your cancer.”

Awakening the dragon

—Jeannie Wells

Jeannie Wells, drummer for DragonBoat Beaufort, gets back to shore with dry feet, thanks to a volunteer from The Citadel at the Carolina Celebration Cup at Johns Island last October.

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SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | January 2014 | scliving.coop

A day at a dragon boat race is a mix of oddly compatible elements. There’s the group therapy aspect, with bonding over compared scars and chemo stories, updates on friends in treatment or remembrances of friends lost.

There’s the athletic competition. Paddlers of assorted ages and physical ability join forces for about a minute and a half of intense paddling, followed by lots of cheering and celebration.

And then there’s the costume party. Paddlers show up in rainbow-colored wigs, fairy and penguin outfits, animal-themed shower caps and painted faces. Cancer may be serious business, but exuberance and whimsy are key weapons in how dragon boaters do battle.

Dragon boats first invaded the waters around Charleston in 2003, then Pawley’s Island a few years later. Cancer survivors and friends in these two communities came together to race the long, canoe-like boats, painted with colorful dragon scales, to heal their bodies and spirits.

Beaufort’s dragon boat team was birthed in

Paddles up!

a rush in February 2012, at the climax of the Beaufort International Film Festival.

Clare Taylor, a cancer survivor and graphic designer in Beaufort, walked reluctantly into an afternoon screening of Awaken the Dragon after the festival’s director urged her to see this inspirational documentary about the Dragon Boat Charleston club.

“I said, ‘What do I care about a big boat?’ ” Taylor recalls.

Taylor had no inkling that 87 minutes later, she

and a friend would walk out of the screening, “all bawling and crying,” to start Beaufort’s own dragon boat team. By 7 p.m., they had designed and printed business cards for DragonBoat Beaufort and were recruiting team members at the festival’s awards dinner.

Awaken the Dragon touched a nerve in Beaufort. Its story of regular people in nearby Charleston—not necessarily athletic or youthful or heroic people—who transformed themselves through dragon boating resonated with similar folks in the Beaufort area. Refusing to see themselves as frail, diminished or powerless victims,

Clare Taylor (left) is one of the founders of DragonBoat Beaufort. She says the club now has “more paddlers than we have seats on the boat.” Taylor paddled with teammates at the Carolina Celebration Cup last October at Trophy Lakes on Johns Island: (left to right) Joy Craig, Stephanie Wenrick, Kate Olin, Rich Seymour, Taylor, Kam Olin and Chris Jones.

Awaken the Dragon Charleston filmmaker Liz Oakley followed members of the Dragon Boat Charleston team as they trained and raced through two competition seasons.

In 2011 she released her 87-minute documentary, Awaken the Dragon, which has since screened at 13 film festivals in the United States and Canada, been broadcast in Brazil and won multiple awards.

The paddlers in Oakley’s film reflect the sport’s diversity in age, physical condition, experience and expectations. Their inspiring achievements have led cancer survivors and supporters to form their own dragon boat clubs, like DragonBoat Beaufort, or to raise funds in support of cancer patients and survivors.

Awaken the Dragon is available for public viewing through a community screening campaign.

Organizations such as dragon boat teams, cancer centers, support groups, churches and others can apply to host a screening event as a fundraising and awareness tool. For information on how to apply, visit awakenthedragon.com.

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p Teams in the dragon boat races at the Beaufort Water Festival last summer raced in heats, four abreast, often with a costumed drummer setting the pace.

“We were appallingly bad,” Taylor says, “but we had so much fun.”

Practicing twice a week, the team started winning medals in regional dragon boat competitions. Thanks to community fundraisers, the Beaufort club now has its own dragon boat, dubbed Braveheart, plus nearly 150 members, some who paddle and some devoted to outreach projects. They introduced their community to dragon boating with a new race event at the 2013 Beaufort Water Festival.

Success in dragon boating depends on one key skill, Taylor says: synchronization. Teams are made up of 20 paddlers, sitting two by two in the long, narrow boat. At the back stands the steersman, who keeps the boat on course against the current while 20 paddles push through the water. Pounding a rhythm at the front of the boat is the drummer—the heartbeat of the boat,

t John Dickerson, president of DragonBoat Beaufort, says helping caregivers as well as cancer patients and survivors is part of the club’s mission.

—Clare Taylor

18

Paddles up!

The earliest days of DragonBoat Beaufort included plenty of excitement but not much in the way of equipment, funds or knowledge.

With advice and support from the Charleston club, the Beaufort team started practicing, at first with no boat and “no idea what we were doing, but so much enthusiasm,” Taylor says.

Their earliest paddling practices were held on land, seated on upturned buckets or stools, using brooms in place of paddles. In May 2012, they competed in their first race, at the Charleston Dragon Boat Festival, borrowing a boat from Dragon Boat Charleston.

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | January 2014 | scliving.coop

Diane Parham

“ You must all hit the water at the same time. If you get out of sync, it’s pandemonium.”

they paddled their way to becoming strong, spirited and hopeful competitors.

“These are people who, a lot of them, are still recover­ing, who find out you don’t have to sit at home alone, moaning your fate,” says Taylor, 69, a victor over breast cancer. “You get out there and get healthy.”

That’s part one of DragonBoat Beaufort’s twopronged mission: help participants feel better in their bodies and minds as they compete. Second is to reach out to care for cancer patients and their families in their community by delivering meals, paying for travel to treatments, handling chores or offering whatever support is needed.

“We fill in where nobody else does,” says DragonBoat Beaufort president John Dickerson.

New paddlers train on dry land before hitting the water.

Clare Taylor pounds a drumbeat and explains how to position the paddle and stroke in unison.

Paddles up!

Dragon boat clubs in South Carolina DragonBoat Beaufort: (843) 271-4212; dragonboatbeaufort.org Dragon Boat Charleston: (843) 324-9505; dragonboatcharleston.org Dragon Boat at the Beach (Pawley’s Island): (843) 237-5787; georgetownhospitalsystem.org Upcoming events May 3, 2014: Dragon Boat Upstate Festival

at Lake Hartwell, benefitting Greenville Health System Cancer Institute. Open to participating teams and supporters; visit dragonboatupstatesc.org.

May 10, 2014: Charleston Dragon Boat Festival at Brittlebank Park, Charleston. Open to public; visit dragonboatcharleston.org.

July 18–27, 2014: Dragon boat races during Beaufort Water Festival. Open to public; visit bftwaterfestival.com.

Leslie Kendall of Dragon Boat Charleston is “the stroke” for the DBC club. She is not a cancer survivor but has been with the team since it started in 2003 and serves on its board.

Taylor says—whose tempo tells the paddlers when their blades should hit the water.

“You must all hit the water at the same time,” Taylor says. “If you get out of sync, it’s pandemonium.”

Anatomy of a dragon boat team

Speed, agility and youth are not necessarily advantages in this sport; paddling in unison is all. DragonBoat Beaufort’s oldest paddler is 85, Dickerson says. Teammates help her in and out of the boat, but once she starts paddling, “she’s a beast,” he says.

An advantage of having 19 teammates is that if you get fatigued and fall out of sync, you can—and should—pull your paddle out until you’re ready to go at it again.

Seated at the front seat of the boat, next to the drummer, are “the stroke,” the team’s pacesetters.

The center rows are “the engine room,” the paddlers who deliver brute strength, Taylor says.

The back rows are “the rocket,” who push hard

at the end of a race to get across the finish line.

Starting position is “paddles up.” Paddles are hoisted vertically over the water, the paddler leaning out sideways over the gunnel to make an A frame with arms, paddle and body, bending forward so that “your nose almost touches the back of the person in front of you,” Taylor says.

When the command comes to “take it away,” paddles stroke long, hard and deep for the 90 or so seconds it takes to cover 250 meters.

“If you feel yourself running out of steam, you are probably only 15 seconds away from finishing,” Dragon Boat Charleston coach Rebecca Gosnell tells new paddlers in training. “Dig deep and help your team cross the finish line.”

Speed, agility and youth are not necessarily advantages in this sport; paddling in unison is all.

A bunch of miracles

Dragon boat teams may be strictly c­ ompetitive, with no link to cancer support. Others are composed entirely of cancer survivors and patients. Mixed cancer survivor teams include those who have battled cancer alongside people who have had friends or family members with scliving.coop | january 2014 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

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The Healing Dragons of Charlotte, N.C., prepare for the carnation ceremony at the Carolina Celebration Cup at Johns Island last October. They tossed their flowers into Trophy Lakes in honor of those who have battled cancer.

Terry Parham

Jan Buffington of Dragon Boat Charleston shows off the names of friends she’s honoring.

“ We’re not talking about illness. We talk about what we have to do to win a race ...”

—Kathy Haas

the disease. John Dickerson and his wife, Erica, were motivated to join Beaufort’s team because they had lost several family members to cancer and wanted to support the care­givers as well.

“Sometimes those people need support just as much or more,” Dickerson says. “They’ve just lost a family member, and they’re in a world of hurt.”

It’s common on race days to see arms, legs and faces covered in names written in marker ink. Paddlers honor friends who have won or lost the battle, or those still fighting, by wearing those names on their bodies.

A time of remembrance, the carnation ceremony, is set aside on race day to pay tribute to all those people. Everyone gets a carnation; as a group, they toss their flowers in the water to celebrate those lives.

Considering the fact that many dragon boaters have either battled cancer or stood by someone who has, it’s remarkable to hear so many say that the thing that changed their lives is not the disease, but dragon boating.

“It’s the best experience I’ve had, and I’ve had a lot of them in 71 years,” says Kathy Haas of DragonBoat Beaufort, a stage-three breast cancer survivor. “When you’re out there, you think of nothing. It makes you free.

Web Extra Video Visit SCLiving.coop this

month to watch the trailer for Awaken the Dragon. Plus, read one racer’s thoughts on what dragon boating means to survivors and supporters.

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SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | January 2014 | scliving.coop

“We’re not talking about illness. We talk about what we have to do to win a race or to paddle better or to have fun.”

Beans Kelly, coach of the Dragon Boat at the Beach team at Pawley’s Island, calls her club’s For Kathy Haas, dragon members “a bunch of boating is all about fun and freedom. miracles.” This club is a wellness program through Georgetown Hospital System, and Kelly, 54, the youngest of her group, is the team’s drummer and also the member most likely to dress in wacky outfits.

“I’d never have thought that one inanimate object could touch as many lives around the world as a dragon boat,” says Kelly, a melanoma survivor. “This is pretty magical, what we’re doing.”

Stories

SC Life

Clothes for a cause Zac and Sara Painter AGES:

Zac, 31; Sara, 30 Greenville

LIVING IN:

Milton Morris

PROFESSIONAL ROLES: Cofounders of Loggerhead Apparel; Zac is also a management supervisor for Erwin Penland advertising and Sara is a work-at-home mom to Sullivan, 21 months RETAIL PARTNERS: Loggerhead Apparel products are sold in 76 stores in 14 states; visit loggerheadapparel.com.

DONATIONS TO DATE: More than $50,000 given to sea turtle conservation programs, including the Sea Turtle Conservancy and the South Carolina Aquarium.

How do two 20-somethings launch a thriving manufacturing business and manage to tug at the purse strings and heartstrings of consumers nationwide?

For Zac and Sara Painter, it may have been inevitable.

It began simply, when the two Greenville advertising professionals started a database of South Carolina-made products and discovered a lack of locally made sportswear. Sensing a unique Palmetto State opportunity, they founded Loggerhead Apparel.

From the day the couple sold their first polo shirts in February 2011, their business has embraced parallel passions, rooted in their childhoods: boosting South Carolina’s textile industry and protecting the state’s loggerhead sea turtles.

“Both of these things are endangered species,” Zac says. “Unless we pay attention to both, they could both go away forever.”

Zac witnessed the decline of the textile industry in Spartanburg.

His mill-village home was within view of the Phillips Fibers plant where his grandparents worked, and he remembers the plant closing during his high school years. Sara grew up near Cape Romain National Wildlife Refuge, home to the largest population of sea turtle nests north of Florida.

Loggerhead Apparel was founded on the Painters’ commitment to preserving what is special in South Carolina, and that has resonated with shoppers. All Loggerhead apparel is assembled in the Palmetto State, and 10 percent of every sale supports turtle conservation projects.

“We were genuinely trying to do something good from the very beginning—when that’s the case, people are more likely to cheer for you and help you,” Zac says. —DIANE VETO PARHAM

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SCScene

BY DIANE VETO PARHAM Photos by Mary Ann Chastain

For our men and women in uniform, USO South Carolina offers a little taste of home (and a whole lot of snacks)

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SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | January 2014 | scliving.coop

Foul weather raged across the Midlands, severe enough

to shut down flights out of Columbia Metropolitan Airport. Joanie Thresher vividly recalls that day in 2012 and the 19-year-old soldier with a story to tell.

Thresher was on duty at the airport, as usual, as director of USO South Carolina. She saw a quiet, nice-looking young man come in and settle himself. Hours passed, and he declined repeated offers of food or help, just glad for a comfy place to pass the time. He’d just completed training at Fort Jackson and was headed to his next assignment.

But his flight had been canceled; short on funds, he was stranded there for at least a day, maybe two.

“So I told him, not a problem, we’d get him a hotel room,” Thresher remembers. She packed a goody bag with snacks and toiletries and escorted the anxious but grateful soldier to his hotel shuttle.

“ It’s about the troops that we’re helping—these little, little things that mean so much to them.”

—Joanie Thresher, Director of the USO at Columbia Metropolitan Airport

“I gave him a hug and said, ‘We want to wish you luck—I know you’re going to do great things.’ He’d been quiet the whole time pretty much, and he said, ‘Ma’am, there’s something I have to tell you.’ “ ‘I just turned 19 yesterday. And 19 years ago, I was born in the USO Houston. My mom delivered me in the USO Houston and always told me one day I’d meet an angel at the USO, and I just met you.’ ” Thresher fights back tears at the memory. But this, she says, is what the USO does best—providing small comforts that make a huge difference to service members who are away from home, and to their families.

“What you have to understand is, it’s not about me, or the volunteers,” she says. “It’s about the troops that we’re helping—these little, little things that mean so much to them. And he’s never going to forget that.”

72 years, one mission

Say “USO” and most folks picture Bob Hope and his overseas camp shows, entertaining the troops, from World War II through the Gulf War. Celebrities still visit military bases around the world on USO tours, but much of what

Above: With basic training behind him, Pfc. Corey Neal of Aiken can relax with a book before traveling to AIT in military intelligence. A flight arrivals-anddepartures monitor inside the USO center provides convenient updates.

Opposite, top: Joanie Thresher welcomes an average of 7,000 troops and family members each month to the USO in Columbia Metropolitan Airport.

today’s USO delivers happens in centers like the one at the Columbia airport.

The cozy USO center in the main lobby of Columbia’s airport is stocked with snack foods, soft drinks and coffee, all free to military personnel and their families. They can watch TV, use computers to send email, Skype or surf the Web, play Xbox games, or call home. Volunteers answer questions, calm nerves and point them in the right direction when it’s time to go.

“Does the bus to Fort Jackson get here at 5? ” a new recruit, freshly arrived from Missouri, asks Thresher midafternoon one day.

“The drill sergeant comes at 5; the bus will come around 6,” Thresher says. “Did you get a sandwich? Everything’s free, honey, help yourself. And if y’all want to play Xbox you can check out games out front, or we’ve got computers.

So really make yourselves at home, okay? ” scliving.coop | january 2014 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

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SC Scene

At the USO center’s game room, soldiers find exactly what they need during their down time at the airport. They can play video games, check Facebook, send email or charge cell phones, with plenty of nearby snacks.

“ They kind of realize what we’ve been through and they’re here to serve us.”

Milton Morris

—PFc. Corey Neal, 2o, Aiken Electric Cooperative member

Thresher makes sure Pfc. Cassandra Swedlund of Springfield, Mo., is well fed and relaxed before the next leg of her journey. Swedlund hopes to work for the USO one day.

On duty: Joanie Thresher If you’re walking through the Columbia airport in a military uniform, don’t expect to sneak past Joanie Thresher.

“I’m a hugger,” Thresher says, embracing a shy and wide-eyed private as he approaches the USO. And she’s a hollerer. A marine in dress blues, striding purposefully through the airport lobby, catches her eye, and she yells out an invitation for him to visit the center for a cup of coffee when he has time.

Making sure every soldier that passes near her center gets the attention he or she deserves is Thresher’s primary focus.

“There’s not a better feeling in the world than to know that you’re making a difference,” she says. “It’s just that simple.”

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SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | January 2014 | scliving.coop

“Is he going to be on our case as soon as he gets here? ” the young man persists, more concerned about the drill sergeant.

“Oh, no, he’s awesome!” Thresher reassures him. “As long as you’re not sitting on the planters out there. Just don’t sit on the planters.”

Thousands of military personnel funnel through the Columbia airport every month on their way to and from Fort Jackson, the U.S. Army’s largest basic training site.

Many more are traveling to and from Sumter Air Force Base and McEntire Joint National Guard Base in the Midlands or other military installations stretched from Charleston to Greenville. Some are journeying to deployment in Afghanistan, Kuwait or far-flung parts of the world.

Others are on the way to specialized training schools.

Most, though, are new recruits arriving for basic training at Fort Jackson, clutching large kraft envelopes with all their paperwork, some traveling outside their hometowns for the first time.

“These young recruits come in, and they have just raised their hand to swear to defend our country, and then they come here, and they have no idea where to go,” says Katie Kennedy, programs manager for USO South Carolina.

Recognizing a need, in 2009 the airport donated space for these service members in transit, and Midlands leaders hired Thresher to run it. Together they petitioned the national USO in Arlington, Va., to open a permanent location in Columbia. Since 2010, it has been serving some 7,000 military personnel and their families each month.

“The USO was formed in 1941 to lift the spirits of

American troops and their families, and that’s been our mission ever since,” Kennedy says. “This is just the community’s way of saying, ‘Thanks for what you do.’ ”

Heart and soul

Kennedy and Thresher are the only paid staffers at the nonprofit USO South Carolina. The “heart and soul” of the organization, they insist, is the center’s 130-plus volunteers—veterans, family members of active-duty military, offspring of military families, grateful citizens.

All understand the impact of those “little, little things” the USO does.

When new recruits arrive at the airport, volunteers meet them with a smile, a snack and answers to ­questions.

When trained troops prepare to deploy, volunteers applaud them on their way, providing snacks or personal care items for the journey. When soldiers come home for R&R, volunteers equip their family members with “welcome home” signs to greet them. When active-duty service members, veterans or their families need a respite in their travels, the USO’s doors are open.

“Basically, we provide a home away from home, whether that’s in a war zone, at training or just passing through an airport,” Kennedy says. “They recognize our logo, and they know they will be treated like family.”

Pfc. Corey Neal, 20, found a quiet space at a USO table to enjoy a book on his way to advanced individual training (AIT) in Pensacola, Fla. It was Neal’s first visit to a USO, but he had heard good things about the Columbia center. He savored his cinnamon roll and Coke—an enjoyable change after weeks of the DFAC (dining facilities) and MREs (meals ready-to-eat).

“It’s very welcoming,” says Neal, an Aiken Electric Cooperative member and a recent graduate from basic training. “They kind of realize what we’ve been through and they’re here to serve us.” ll

1941

The year United Service Organizations formed to assist members of the U.S. military and their families.

900

Size, in square feet, of the USO center at Columbia Metropolitan Airport

7,000

Average number of troops and family members helped by the airport center each month

365

Days in a year the Columbia airport center is open.

Hours are from 8 a.m. to 9 p.m.

$8,300 136 Number of USO volunteers in S.C.

Monthly cost to run the airport USO center

After long days in combat skills training at Fort Jackson’s Camp McCrady, soldiers decompress at the USO’s on-site day room—playing pool, ping pong or card games and watching movies or ball games on a big-screen TV. The center also hosts regular dinners for soldiers who are being deployed. Above, Capt. Michael Hassien, officer in charge, the USO’s Katie Kennedy and volunteer Michelle McClain of Gilbert set up a barbecue buffet, courtesy of Hudson’s Smokehouse.

scliving.coop | january 2014 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

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SC Scene

How to help

Navy reservist Cmdr. Karl Diederich of Fort Worth, Texas, prepares to read books for his three children through the United Through Reading program.

“I could sit there and share with my kids, not just the reading, but also some thoughts afterwards—that I love them and know they will do well while I’m gone,” says Diederich, who was heading to active duty in Afghanistan.

To volunteer: Anyone 18 or older may submit an application at usovolunteer.org To donate funds: 100 percent tax deductible; send check to USO South Carolina, 3250 Airport Blvd., Suite 7, West Columbia, SC 29170 To donate items: Deliver prepackaged, individually wrapped food items (no homemade foods); travel-size toiletries (e.g., razors, shaving cream, toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo, sunscreen); Ziploc bags; phone cards To learn more:

www.facebook.com/USOSouthCarolina

“ It’s a way for them to stay connected to their families. … It has Mom or Dad’s voice and face …”

—Katie Kennedy, Programs Manager for USO South Carolina, on United Through Reading

“Where back in Vietnam and before, our families and loved ones had to wait on the mailman to get that letter— they had to write that letter and make sure that letter got home or got to their soldiers or to their troops overseas— now they’re able to communicate via Skype, computers, voice-over phones,” Thresher says.

One favorite mode of communication is a national USO partnership called United Through Reading. Deploying soldiers choose from a selection of children’s books, and Connecting with home USO volunteers record a DVD of the soldier reading that story for his or her family back home. USO South Carolina The biggest difference in today’s USO and the USO of offers this program at the Camp McCrady day room for the Bob Hope era can be summed up in three words, every group of soldiers deploying from Columbia, and they Thresher says: “technology, technology, technology.”

The airport center is the only staffed and permanent USO take the service to other parts of the state as needed.

“It’s a way for them to stay connected to their familocation in the state, but the USO also maintains a day room and a portable “USO in a Box” at McCrady Training Center, lies,” Kennedy says. “It’s the last thing the family has a S.C. Army National Guard training site at Fort Jackson. of that person, and it has Mom or Dad’s voice and face Both locations deliver what most personnel are anxious for—­ and mannerisms.”

Nationally, the USO provides a range of programs to computer access, DVDs, video games, outlets to recharge support active military personnel, the families who wait electronic devices, voice-over-Internet phone service. for them to come home, those who return with illness or injuries, veterans seeking jobs, and other needs. A Web Extra Video The Christmas rush for USO South Carolina 2012 TellUSO survey showed that 95 percent of service is called “exodus”—an annual migration of some 15,000 troops members believe the USO lets them know their country from Fort Jackson who pass through the Columbia airport in a 36-hour supports them. period in mid-December. The USO responds by handing out care Locally, the focus is on providing a respite from packages to these traveling soldiers headed home for the holidays. duty—“a cup of coffee, a taste of home, a friendly face,” Employees from Mid-Carolina Electric Cooperative, working with Leadership Lexington County, helped prepare for exodus by collecting the Kennedy says. The USO South Carolina invests every travel-sized items for these care packages last fall. MCEC employees who donation into caring for the troops that pass through the Columbia airport or train at a South Carolina installation. helped included LLC Class of 2013 members Matt Porth, Lee Ayers and Shannon Hughes and LLC board member Larry Micol, a 2012 LLC graduate. They do it 365 days a year, until, as the USO motto says, Visit SCLiving.coop to watch the December 2013 exodus in action. every one comes home.

Spc. Maria Haynesworth of Sumter had an important question to ask the first USO volunteer who greeted her, after 10 weeks of basic training: Where in the airport could she get her nails done? No such luck at this airport—she’d have to find a place in San Antonio, where she was heading for AIT. But the USO did provide an outlet for recharging her phone and, she says, her “first real cup of coffee in 10 weeks.”

26

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | January 2014 | scliving.coop

G o t t a G e t A w ay !

Win a night on the town in historic Newberry, S.C. Our winner will receive Two tickets to Newberry Opera House Broadway • Big Band • Country • Beach • Bluegrass • Opera • Dance

One-night stay for two (one room) in deluxe accommodations at Newberry’s Holiday Inn Express & Suites

Dinner for two at Steven W’s Downtown Bistro By entering, you may receive information from these great sponsors:

jj Newberry’s Historic Opera House jj Holiday Inn Express & Suites, Newberry jj Steven W’s Bistro, Downtown Newberry jj Cheraw Visitors Bureau jj Rock Hill Parks and Recreation jj Pendleton Historic District jj Towns County, Ga. jj S.C. State Museum, Columbia jj Cypress Camping Resort, Myrtle Beach

jj Santee Cooper Country jj Brookstone Lodge, Asheville, N.C. jj Kensington Mansion, Eastover jj Hardeeville Tourism jj City of Aiken Parks and Recreation jj Alpine-Helen, White Co. Ga. jj Culture-Heritage Museums, Rock Hill jj Lowcountry Tourism jj South Carolina Living magazine

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Send coupon to: South Carolina Living, 133 Yoshino Circle, Lexington, SC 29072 or travel@SCLiving.coop. Entries must be received by January 31, 2014 to be eligible for drawing.

scliving.coop | january 2014 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

27

SCTravels

BY MARC RAPPORT

Two hundred acres of history and nature

The CSS Little David was an engineer­ ing marvel of its day—sleek, steampowered and designed to stealthily attack Union warships blockading Charleston Harbor. Armed with a spar torpedo, the vessel made miliFrom the park’s interpretive tary history when her crew rammed center, guests can stroll along four miles of scenic boardwalks and seriously damaged the USS New and hiking trails. Ironsides in October 1863, four months before H.L. Hunley’s fateful voyage.

South Carolina’s homegrown torpedo boat has long been overshadowed by the exploits of the Hunley, but at Old Santee Canal Park in Moncks Corner, the Little David takes center stage.

The cigar-shaped, semi-submersible boat was designed and built here in secret by local physician St. Julien Ravenel, and a full-size mock-up greets visitors just inside the park entrance. A scale model inside the park’s interpretive center offers a cut-away view of the boat’s ingenious design, and visitors can GetThere also learn about the Little David’s place in history Old Santee Canal Park is located at 900 Stony through a permanent Landing Drive in Moncks Corner. display inside the Berkeley Hours: The park is open daily from 9 a.m. to County Museum and 5 p.m. The Berkeley County Museum and Heritage Heritage Center, which is Center is open 9 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Tuesday– located on park grounds.

Saturday and from 1 p.m. to 4:30 p.m. on Sunday.

The 200-acre park takes Admission: $3 per person for ages 7 and up, $2 its name from another for senior citizens and free to children under 7. forgotten engineering Fees include admission to the Berkeley County marvel: the Santee Canal.

Museum and Heritage Center.

Opened in 1800 after seven Details: The main park number is (843) 899-5200; years of back-breaking labor, oldsanteecanalpark.org. For more information on the man-made waterway the museum, call (843) 899-5101. was the first in the nation

S.C. physician St. Julien Ravenel (pictured at right) financed construction of the CSS Little David. A small steam engine hidden inside the hull allowed the torpedo boat to attack at a top speed of 10 knots.

28

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | January 2014 | scliving.coop

to link major river systems. By joining the Santee and Cooper rivers, the 22-mile-long canal made it easier to transport cotton to the port of Charleston, says Mary Bell, the park’s historical education coordinator.

“This was the first true canal in the United States,” Bell says. “The Erie Canal, which we all know about, was built afterwards. Other canals were just bypasses around rocks. This was the first canal that connected watersheds.”

The Santee Canal operated until the 1840s, when steamships and a rail link between Columbia and Charleston replaced mule-drawn barge traffic. Today, most of the canal lies submerged beneath Lake Moultrie, but visitors can explore the waterway just by walking into the park’s interpretive center. The entranceway is a full-sized replica of the brick-lined locks used to raise and lower boats. Inside the building, displays include intricate models of the waterway and a 27-minute ETV documentary on its construction.

Another way to explore the park’s history is to get outside and walk the four miles of scenic boardwalks and trails winding through hardwood bluffs and lowland swamps. The trail ends at the last surviving portion of the original canal system, and visitors can rent MP3 players for a 19-stop audio tour along the way. Visitors can also explore the park’s natural beauty by renting a canoe and following the three-mile paddling trail along Biggin Creek. The trail begins and ends at the interpretive center, passing beneath huge live oaks festooned with Spanish moss and resurrection ferns.

History buffs, picnickers, hikers, paddlers and birders keep the day-use park busy year-round, as do families celebrating weddings in the Stony Landing House, the beautifully preserved 1843 house overlooking the headwaters of the Cooper River, says Dave Sales, the park’s environmental education coordinator.

“We have an unusual combination of truly significant American national and natural history here,” he says, “but we’re also a real community park.”

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scliving.coop | january 2014 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

29

SCChefÕs Choice

BY BECKY BILLINGSLEY

Fresh fish, family-style Motorists en route to Myrtle Beach

and the Grand Strand may be surprised to learn that some of the best seafood in the Palmetto State is found inside a humble cinder-block building near Conway—miles away from the ocean.

Freshwater Fish Company, housed

Serves 4

3 pounds fresh catfish, cut away from the bone and into 1- to 2-inch chunks (keep the bony pieces to include for flavor) Milk Seafood breader 4 tablespoons cooking oil 1 medium or large onion, chopped 1 medium white potato, peeled and cut into 1-inch chunks 1 teaspoon salt (or to taste) 1 teaspoon ground black pepper (or to taste) 8 cups water 2½ teaspoons Worcestershire sauce 2 teaspoons hot sauce (or to taste) ½ cup canned stewed tomatoes, sliced 1 teaspoon sugar Rice or grits, cooked

Dip half of catfish in milk and dredge in breader, leaving the other half unbreaded, and then pan-fry it all together in oil until done. In a medium saucepan, saute onions with white potatoes for 1 to 2 minutes. Add catfish to onions and potatoes with salt, pepper and water. Cover and simmer 10 minutes. Add Worcestershire sauce, hot sauce, tomatoes and sugar to mixture. Cover and simmer 10 more minutes.

Serve over rice or grits.

30

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | January 2014 | scliving.coop

Photos by Becky Billingsley

Down Home Catfish Stew

in a former juke joint off S.C. 701, is a combination fish market and casual eatery owned by Stephen and Aprelle Brown, but when you sit down for a made-to-order seafood dinner with all the fixin’s, chances are you’re enjoying the work of the entire Brown family.

Stephen’s son, Jonathan, presides over the market side of the building, where the clear eyes of whole spot, croaker, catfish, salmon and flounder peek through the ice. On the restaurant side, Aprelle, Stephen, his mother Linda and a host of other Brown family members draw on family recipes to serve up fresh Freshwater Fish grilled and fried seafood with home-style grits, Company Stephen Brown serves Southern specialties, with the help of his hush puppies and Aunt 4640 S.C. 701, Conway mother, Linda Brown, and the Paulene Chisolm’s raisin(843) 365-4915 rest of his family at Freshwater studded coleslaw.

Fish Company near Conway.

Hours: Tuesday– Stephen ­developed Thursday from 4 p.m.

Stephen and Aprelle’s two of the house specialto 9 p.m.; Friday and daughter, Jonica, makes ties himself. His sigSaturday, 11 a.m. to 9 p.m.; Sunday, 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. strawberry shortcake, nature glazed salmon Stephen prepares (each steak is hand cut macaroni and cheese from scratch, from a whole fish when you order) Aprelle whips up pans of banana and zesty catfish stew offer tasty new pudding, Linda handles candied yams, twists to classic seafood entrees.

Not into seafood? You’ll have plenty steamed cabbage and bread pudding, while an aunt, Brenda Graham, of other family-style Southern specialsqueezes lemons for fresh lemonade. ties to choose from, including Miss Stephen says he isn’t happy unless Linda’s lima beans and rice, fried customers leave feeling they’ve chicken, hog maws and the alwayspopular pork chop sandwich. A family received more than a great meal.

“The one ingredient that makes cousin, La-Ruth Jordan, provides the a difference is you have to love it,” restaurant with crackle-edged pound he says. cakes and the occasional sweet potato “I was cooking a couple of days ago, or pecan pie. and there was a friend standing at the Locals line up for the special window, watching. After it was plated Sun­day buffets ($10 for adults, $8 for and we got it to the table, he said, ‘I children), which usually include see now why it’s so good.’ I asked him, chicken bog, seafood salad, stew beef, ‘What do you mean?’ and he said, field peas, meatloaf and collards ‘There’s love in it. The preparation, along­side a mountain of fried fish. On it’s like you want it to be perfect.’ And Saturday nights, the entire family is usually involved in preparing the feast. that’s a big part of what we do.”

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31

Recipe

EDITED BY CArrie Hirsch

Souped-up meals to bowl you over CREAMY VEGETABLE SALMON STEW SERVES 10–12

1 ½ sticks butter 1 large onion, chopped 1 clove garlic, diced 4 14.75-ounce cans boneless, skinless salmon, drained (reserve ¼ cup juice) ¼ cup salmon juice (or more to taste) 1 cup celery, diced 2 cups carrots, peeled and sliced 2 cups water 2 15.25-ounce cans wholekernel corn, drained

Cobraphoto / iStock

BUTTERNUT SQUASH SOUP 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil 1 carrot, thinly sliced 1 celery stalk, thinly sliced 1 yellow onion, finely chopped 4 cups butternut squash, cubed ½ teaspoon fresh thyme, chopped 4 cups chicken broth ½ teaspoon sea salt ½ teaspoon black pepper

32

In a large pot, heat olive oil, then add carrot, celery and onion.

Cook, stirring frequently, until vegetables are softened and onion is translucent. Stir in butternut squash cubes, thyme, chicken broth, sea salt and pepper. Bring to a boil; reduce heat and simmer until squash is fork tender, about 30 minutes. Puree soup using an immersion blender or upright blender.

WILMA THOMPSON, LAURENS

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | January 2014 | scliving.coop

Gina Moore / iStockphoto

SERVES 6

2 10.75-ounce cans cream of potato soup 1 quart half-and-half 1 8-ounce package cream cheese 2 cups cheddar cheese, grated 2 tablespoons pimiento, diced (if desired) 1 teaspoon celery salt Garlic salt, to taste Pepper, to taste Creole salt, to taste

In a large pot, saute onions and garlic in butter until softened. Add salmon and salmon juice and stir. Add celery, carrots and water and bring to a simmer. Stir in drained corn and potato soup. Add the half-and-half, cooking on a low simmer until bubbly, stirring frequently. Add cream cheese, cheddar cheese, pimiento and spices. Simmer, covered, on low heat for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally.

JANE MAYSON, EASLEY

POTATO CHEESE CHOWDER SERVES 8

2 cups potatoes, peeled and diced* ½ cup carrots, peeled and sliced ½ cup celery, sliced ¼ cup onion, diced ½ teaspoon salt ¼ teaspoon black pepper 2 cups boiling water ¼ cup butter ¼ cup all-purpose flour 2 cups milk 10 ounces cheddar cheese, shredded 1 15-ounce can creamed corn

In a medium pot, combine potatoes, carrots, celery, onion, salt, black pepper and boiling water. Cover and let simmer for 10 minutes. Turn off heat and let sit.

In another medium pot, make a roux by melting butter on low heat, then whisking in flour; whisk constantly until thick. Whisk milk and cheese into the roux, then heat thoroughly. Add roux to vegetables, then add creamed corn. Return to heat and simmer for 10 minutes or until vegetables are tender, stirring occasionally. *If using red potatoes, leave skin on.

LINDA M. ROEMER, WEST COLUMBIA 1MORECREATIVE / iSTOCKPHOTO

W H AT Õ S C O O K I N G I N DEBBI SMIRNOFF / iSTOCK

SCRecipe

APRIL: Going green

Mom always said, “Eat your vegetables!” Springtime’s bounty of green veggies can help keep us healthy and Mom happy.

Send us your favorite ways to serve asparagus, cabbage, chard, collards, okra, peas, spinach or other seasonal greens.

SPICY BLACK BEAN SOUP WITH SWEET POTATO PUREE

DEADLINE: FEBRUARY 1 MAY: Vintage dishes

SERVES 8–10

2 16-ounce packages dried black beans 14 cups water 1 large yellow onion, finely chopped 6 garlic cloves, finely chopped 1 teaspoon salt 2 cups spicy tomato salsa Salt to taste 1 large sweet potato, baked 1 teaspoon water or milk 2 tablespoons low-fat sour cream 1 tablespoon mayonnaise 2 teaspoons water

In a medium pot, add black beans and water. Stir in onion, garlic and salt. Cover and bring to a boil, then lower heat so it is at a medium simmer, stirring

occasionally. Keep covered and simmer for 2 hours or until beans are soft. Remove 2 cups of cooked beans and puree in a food processor. Return pureed beans to the pot and stir. Add salsa and stir. Salt to taste.

To make the sweet potato puree, discard skin from baked sweet potato. Place in a small bowl, add water or milk, then mash with a fork.

In a small bowl, make a sour cream sauce by whisking together the sour cream, mayonnaise and water. To serve soup, fill individual bowls and add a dollop of sweet potato puree over soup, then drizzle with sour cream sauce in a zigzag pattern.

Dig out those classic recipes handed down from Grandma, or tell us how you’ve updated old-­fashioned meals in your modern-day kitchen. Think pot roast, meatloaf, creamed spinach, poached salmon, tuna casserole—let’s revive some of yesteryear’s favorites. DEADLINE: FEBRUARY 1

Turn your original recipes into cash!

For each one of your recipes we publish, we’ll send you a $10 BI-LO gift card.

Send us your original recipes— appetizers, salads, main courses, side dishes, desserts and beverages—almost anything goes. Be sure to specify ingredient measurements.

Instead of “one can” or “two packages,” specify “one 12-ounce can” or “two 8-ounce packages.” Note the number of servings or yield. Entries must be original, and they must include your name, mailing address and phone number.

SUBMIT • online at SCLiving.coop • email to recipe@scliving.coop • mail to Recipe, 808 Knox Abbott Drive, Cayce, SC 29033

HOLLY AND GAVIN WRIGHT, BLUFFTON

SCLIVING.COOP | JANUARY 2014 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

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SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | January 2014 | scliving.coop

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35

Calendar of Events Please confirm information before attending events. For entry guidelines, go to SCLiving.coop.

UPSTATE JANUARY

9–19 • Restaurant Week, multiple locations. Visit restaurantweeksouthcarolina.com.

10–19 • “Buddy: The Buddy Holly Story,” Chapman Cultural Center, Spartanburg. (864) 585-8278.

16 • ArtWalk, multiple venues, Spartanburg. (864) 542-2787.

17–19 • Greenville Remodeling Expo, TD Convention Center, Greenville. (800) 374-6463.

18 • YAM and PHS Bluegrass Band Winter Jubilee, Pickens High School, Pickens. (864) 878-4257.

18–19 • Cowpens Anniversary, Cowpens National Battlefield, Gaffney. (864) 461-2828.

23–26 • Upstate South Carolina Boat Show, TD Convention Center, Greenville. (864) 255-5855.

24 • Lunch & Learn, Spartanburg Regional History Museum, Spartanburg. (864) 596-3501.

24–25 • Monster Jam, Bon Secours Wellness Arena, Greenville. (800) 745-3000.

25 • Millennium Brass Quintet sponsored by Spartanburg Philharmonic, Chapman Cultural Center, Spartanburg. (864) 542-2787.

25 • An Affair with Flair Wine Auction benefiting the American Red Cross, Hyatt Regency, Greenville.

(864) 282-8644.

FEBRUARY

1 • A Hero’s 5K, Furman University, Greenville.

(864) 735-0455.

1 • Chamber Concert by the Foothills Philharmonic, Cannon Centre, Greer. (864) 268-8743.

1 • S.C. Arms Collectors Association Gun, Knife & Militaria Show, TD Convention Center, Greenville. (803) 463-9377.

7–16 • “To Kill a Mockingbird,” Easley Foothills Playhouse, Easley. (864) 855-1817.

8 • Old South Ball, Greenville Marriott, Greenville. (864) 244-2732.

8 • Wedding Festivals Bridal Show, TD Convention Center, Greenville. (864) 235-5555.

9–10 • Soweto Gospel Choir, Peace Center for the Performing Arts, Greenville. (800) 888-7768.

36

ONGOING

Daily through Jan. 20 • Ice on Main, Village Green, Greenville. (864) 467-4355.

Daily • Art Gallery at the Fran Hanson Discovery Center, South Carolina Botanical Garden, Clemson. (864) 656-3405.

Tuesdays through Sundays, Jan. 18–June 15 • Protests, Prayers and Progress: Greenville’s Civil Rights Movement, Upcountry History Museum, Greenville. (864) 467-3100.

Tuesdays • Line Dancing, Sears Recreation Center, Greenville. (864) 467-4326.

Saturdays • Historic Trolley Tour, Augusta Museum of History, Augusta, Ga. (706) 724-4067.

Third Saturdays • Milling Day, Hagood Mill Historic Site & Folklife Center, 138 Hagood Mill Rd., Pickens. (864) 898-2936.

Third Saturdays • Science activities, Spartanburg Science Center, Spartanburg.

(864) 583-2777.

Saturdays and Sundays • Historic Building Tour, Oconee Station State Historic Site, Walhalla. (864) 638-0079.

Sundays • Sundays Unplugged Musician, Chapman Cultural Center, Spartanburg. (864) 542-2787.

MIDLANDS JANUARY

1–31 • Free Plant Identification Service, USC Herbarium, Columbia. (803) 777-8196.

9–19 • Restaurant Week, multiple locations. Visit restaurantweeksouthcarolina.com.

16 • South Carolinians at the Battle of Gettysburg, Cotton Mill Exchange at the South Carolina State Museum, Columbia. (803) 898-4999.

18 • Museum Road Show: Winter Edition, South Carolina State Museum, Columbia. (803) 898-4999.

18 • All About Beer World Beer Festival, Columbia Metropolitan Convention Center, Columbia. (919) 530-8150.

23 • Exploring Mars with NASA Engineer Kobie Boykins, Harbison Theatre at Midlands Technical College, Irmo. (803) 407-5011.

24–26 • Columbia Home Building and Remodeling Expo, Columbia Convention Center, Columbia. (800) 264-4884.

24–Feb. 8 • “Clybourne Park,” Trustus Theatre, Columbia. (803) 254-9732.

25 • “Technology of a Murder” dinner theater, USC–Lancaster Bradley Arts & Sciences Building, Lancaster. (803) 289-1486.

30 • An Evening with Pavarotti featuring Teatro Lirico d’Europa, Harbison Theatre at Midlands Technical College, Irmo. (803) 407-5011.

31–Feb. 1 • “Alice in Wonderland” by the Columbia City Ballet, Koger Center of the Arts, Columbia. (803) 799-7605.

FEBRUARY

1 • Clean Sweep Rummage Sale, Cantey Building, South Carolina State Fairgrounds, Columbia. (803) 252-4552.

1 • The Second City: Happily Ever Laughter, Harbison Theatre at Midlands Technical College, Irmo. (803) 407-5011.

1 • The Ultimate Doo Wop Show, Township Auditorium, Columbia. (803) 576-2350.

5–6 • “Million Dollar Quartet” presented by Broadway in Columbia, Koger Center for the Arts, Columbia. (803) 251-2222.

7–8 • Monster Jam, Colonial Life Arena, Columbia. (803) 576-9200.

7–16 • “Puss in Boots,” Columbia Children’s Theatre, Columbia. (803) 691-4548.

15 • One Stop Shop Hop, USC–Lancaster at Starr Hall and Carol Ray Dowling Center, Lancaster. (803) 273-9818.

15 • Nefertiti’s Golden Spa, South Carolina State Museum, Columbia. (803) 898-4999.

ONGOING

Daily through Jan. 20 • Main Street Ice, Boyd Plaza, Columbia. (803) 545-3100.

Daily, by appointment • Zip Line Adventures, Riverbanks Zoo and Garden, Columbia. (803) 602-0803.

Mondays through Saturdays through Jan. 17 • “Defying the Quiet: Photography of the Civil Rights Movement in South Carolina,” McKissick Museum, Columbia. (803) 777-7251.

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | January 2014 | scliving.coop

Santee National Wildlife Refuge will hold free nature photography workshops on Jan. 25 and Feb. 22. SNWR is accepting submissions for its photo contest through March 31.

Tuesdays through Fridays through March 31 • Submissions accepted for Santee National Wildlife Refuge Photo Contest, Santee NWR Visitor Center, Summerton. (803) 478-2217.

Second Tuesdays • Family Night $1 Admission, EdVenture Children’s Museum, Columbia. (803) 779-3100.

First Thursdays • Art Crawl and Streetfest, Main Street, Columbia. (803) 988-1065.

Saturdays • Behind-theScenes Adventure Tours, Riverbanks Zoo and Garden, Columbia. (803) 978-1113.

Second Saturdays • Children’s Art Program, Sumter County Gallery of Art, Sumter. (803) 775-0543.

Second Saturdays • Experience Edgefield: Living History Saturdays, Town Square, Edgefield. (803) 637-4010.

Saturdays • Museum Highlight Tours, South Carolina State Museum, Columbia. (803) 898-4999.

Saturdays and Sundays • Gallery Tour, Columbia Museum of Art, Columbia. (803) 799-2810.

LOWCOUNTRY JANUARY

9–19 • Restaurant Week, multiple locations. Visit restaurantweeksouthcarolina.com.

15–18 • Charleston Comedy Festival, multiple theaters, Charleston. (843) 853-6687.

16–17 • S.C. AgriBiz & Farm Expo, Florence Civic Center, Florence. (843) 250-7900.

17–19 • Mid-Winter SOS Migration, multiple venues, North Myrtle Beach. (803) 645-1876.

17–19 • Charleston Marathon, multiple locations, Charleston area. (843) 300-7500.

18 • “This Little Light of Mine,” Mt. Moriah Missionary Baptist Church, North Charleston. (843) 740-5854.

19 • Musical Narrative with the Long Bay Symphony, Myrtle Beach High School Music & Arts Center, Myrtle Beach. (843) 448-8379.

24–26 • Charleston Boat Show, Charleston Area Convention Center, North Charleston. (864) 250-9713.

25 • Charlie Post Classic 15K & 5K, Sullivan’s Island Fire Station, Sullivan’s Island. (843) 810-8277.

25 • Make Your Own Wave: Curator-led Tour and Woodblock Printing Demonstration, Gibbes Museum of Art and Redux Contemporary Art Center, Charleston. (843) 722-2706.

25 • Hilton Head Snow Day, Shelter Cove Park, Hilton Head Island. (843) 681-7273.

25 • Polar Bear 5K, Camp Sexton, Florence. (843) 413-8017.

25 and Feb. 22 • Nature Photography Workshops, Santee National Wildlife Refuge Visitor Center, 2125 Ft. Watson Rd., Summerton. (803) 478-2217.

26 • Lowcountry Oyster Festival, Boone Hall Plantation, Mount Pleasant. (843) 577-4030.

31 • Black & Blue: An Evening with Laura Ball, Charleston Area Convention Center ballroom, North Charleston. (843) 740-5847.

31 • A Night in the Valley, The College Center, Trident Technical College Main Campus, Charleston. (843) 574-6693.

FEBRUARY

1 • Blue Oyster Bash, Founders Hall at Charles Towne Landing, Charleston. (843) 792-2624.

1–3 and 8–9 • Charleston Mardi Gras, multiple venues, Charleston. (843) 408-5261.

8 • The Chocolate Affair, The Daniel Island Club, Charleston. (843) 740-6793.

8 • Hilton Head Marathon, Jarvis Creek Park, Hilton Head Island. (843) 757-8520.

8–9 • Myrtle Beach Stamp & Postcard Show, Clarion Hotel & Conference Center, Myrtle Beach. (843) 347-0087.

9 • Free Admission Sunday, Gibbes Museum of Art and Redux Contemporary Art Center, Charleston. (843) 722-2706.

12–16 • Beaufort International Film Festival, University of South Carolina–Beaufort, Beaufort. (843) 522-3196.

13–15 • BI-LO Myrtle Beach Marathon, multiple venues, Myrtle Beach. (843) 293-7223.

14–16 • Southeastern Wildlife Exposition, multiple venues, Charleston. (843) 723-1748.

15 • CODA 5K Race 4 Love, Sanctuary Golf Course on Cat Island, Beaufort. (843) 593-4871.

ONGOING

Daily • Enchanted Storybook Forest, Brookgreen Gardens, Murrells Inlet. (843) 235-6000.

Tuesdays through Fridays • Site tours, Hobcaw Barony, Georgetown. (843) 546-4623.

Tuesdays and Saturdays • Shag Lessons, Beach Music & Shag Preservation Society Clubhouse, Charleston. (843) 814-0101.

Tuesdays through Saturdays • Education Center Displays and Programs, Myrtle Beach State Park, Myrtle Beach. (843) 238-5325.

Wednesdays • Organic Farmers’ Market, 714 8th Ave. N, Myrtle Beach. (843) 429-0018, ext. 302.

Fridays • Free movies for adults and seniors, Base Recreation Center, Myrtle Beach. (843) 918-2380.

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scliving.coop | January 2014 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

37

SCHumorMe

By Jan A. Igoe

Honey, your windshield is safe with me It was just starting to drizzle as I dragged my

mucous-ridden self and a bag full of fight-thecrud potions back to my car. That’s when a solemn stranger holding an official-looking clipboard materialized out of nowhere.

“Is this your car?” he asked in the hushed, reverent tone of a tenured undertaker.

My brain is wired to jump to worst-case conclusions, so it wasted no time jumping into overdrive. Had my car been the victim of foul play? Did it sneak out of the parking lot and run someone over? Was it featured on America’s Most Wanted? Or was this guy distracting me so it would be easier to snatch my purse?

“Yes,” I admitted guiltily. “It’s mine.”

The sullen stranger shook his head sadly. “Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Who did this to you?”

Now, he was starting to sound more like a freelance therapist who heard about my wacky mother, who always believed she was Martha Washington.

Reincarnated, of course.

But no, he was pointing to the battle scar on my windshield.

Back in my Honda’s youth, a dump truck traveling at 300 mph hurled a small boulder at us, which landed smack dab in the middle of the windshield. My insurance company promptly dispatched professional windshield fixers who assured me that their expert patchwork would do the trick, and the crunchy circle of crackled glass they left behind gave the car character.

38

“They always get away with that,” the undertaker said. “Especially with you people of the female persuasion.

No offense.”

We interrupt this column for a valuable life lesson: When you say “no offense” to a stranger (of the female persuasion) who you’re already offending, you’ve summoned the mother bear. Adrenalin shoots through our childbearing bodies in anticipation of battle. We lace up our mental boxing gloves to inflict an upside-the-head attitude adjustment while you stand there wondering what planet you’re on. Got it?

“Can you make your point before we have to set the clocks ahead?” I said, bouncing and weaving Sugar Ray-style between coughing spells.

“We can replace your windshield, which they should have done in the first place,” he said. “And I’m in town all week.”

Red flags shot up like magic beanstalks. The circus leaves town when the show is over. Standup comics stay a week. But windshield replacers

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | January 2014 | scliving.coop

are supposed to hang around.

“Strike two,” I choked, nudging the undertaker away from my car door.

“Just give me your card.”

The invasive request seemed to startle him.

Opening a notebook covered by a blackand-white photocopy identifying his company, the undertaker pulled out someone else’s card, crossing out the name and number before scribbling his own on the back.

“Strike three. Gotta go,” I said, finally squeezing past him into my car.

“Wait, we’ll call your insurance company together. We’ll set up an appointment in no time,” he said, waving his binder inside my window.

“I certainly don’t want to hold you up.”

I couldn’t break the speed limit in reverse, but I was ready to floor it the millisecond I cleared the parking space.

“You know, they’ve tightened the stalking laws. Please get your hands out of my car,” I said, as politely as my dark, sickly mood allowed.

Moments later, I was free. This juicy prey narrowly escaped the forlorn undertaker, now reflected in my rearview mirror.

He’s lucky he didn’t try that with Martha. She would have torn him a new windshield.

Jan A. Igoe writes from her Little River home, when she’s not ­defending herself in drugstore parking lots. Tip: Do not catch the crud. It’s bad this year! Write Jan at HumorMe@SCLiving.coop.

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