South Carolina Living July 2022

Page 1

Get your s k c i k CHANGEOUT

Minor league soccer scores big in Charleston

SC RECIPE

Summer squash roundup HUMOR ME

JULY 2022

Dancers to doughnuts


v

THE MAGAZINE FOR COOPERATIVE MEMBERS VOLUME 76 • NUMBER 7 (ISSN 0047-486X, USPS 316-240)

2022

Read in more than 600,000 homes and businesses and published monthly except in December by The Electric Cooperatives of South Carolina, Inc. 808 Knox Abbott Drive Cayce, SC 29033

july

Tel: (803) 926‑3175 Fax: (803) 796‑6064 Email: letters@scliving.coop EDITOR

Keith Phillips Tel: (803) 739‑3040 Email: Keith.Phillips@ecsc.org FIELD EDITOR

Josh Crotzer

PUBLICATION COORDINATOR

Raphael Ofendo Reyes ART DIRECTOR

14 The beautiful game

Professional soccer finds a home—and a dedicated fan base—in Charleston.

Sharri Harris Wolfgang DESIGNER

Trevor Bauknight PRODUCTION

Andrew Chapman WEB EDITOR

Chase Toler

COPY EDITORS

Jennifer Jas, Jim Poindexter CONTRIBUTORS

10

2

CO-OP NEWS

6

AGENDA

8

10

Updates from your cooperative Hurricane season is here, and the meteorologists are predicting another “above average” year of activity. Are you prepared? DIALOGUE

Ordie’s acts of service

20

4

Get your kicks

Minor league soccer scores big in Charleston

SC RECIPE

Summer squash roundup HUMOR ME

Dancers to doughnuts JULY 2022

Charleston Battery defender Benji Ettienne takes control of the ball during a home game against Louisville City. Photo by Mic Smith.

Lou Green

ADVERTISING

Mary Watts Tel: (803) 739‑5074 Email: ads@scliving.coop NATIONAL REPRESENTATION

American MainStreet Publications Tel: (512) 441‑5200 Paid advertisements are not endorsements by any electric cooperative or this publication. If you encounter a difficulty with an advertisement, inform the Editor.

RECIPE

local co-op. Postmaster: Send Form 3579 to Address Change, c/o the address above.

Summer squash roundup SC STORIES

Recipe for success

Savor the delicious story of how Miles Huff rose from humble beginnings to become one of South Carolina’s top teaching chefs.

18 19 20

PUBLISHER

South Carolina honors Ordie Brown, a 48-year veteran of Edisto Electric Cooperative’s board of trustees, for a lifetime of leadership. Summer squash and zucchini are surprisingly versatile vegetables you can use in every course of your meals.

12

Mike Couick, Hastings Hensel, Jan A. Igoe, L.A. Jackson, Cele and Lynn Seldon, Belinda Smith-Sullivan

CALENDAR OF EVENTS MARKETPLACE

ADDRESS CHANGES: Please send to your

Periodicals postage paid at Columbia, S.C., and additional mailing offices. © COPYRIGHT 2022. The Electric Cooperatives of South Carolina, Inc. No portion of South Carolina Living may be reproduced without permission of the Editor. SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING is brought to you by your member-owned, taxpaying, not-for-profit electric cooperative to inform you about your cooperative, wise energy use and the faces and places that identify the Palmetto State. Electric cooperatives are South Carolina’s — and America’s — largest utility network. ANNUAL SUBSCRIPTIONS:

SC GARDENER

The constant color of coleus

$8 nonmembers

$5.94 members,

Gardening columnist L.A. Jackson explains how this low-maintenance plant can add splashes of color to your summer landscape.

22

HUMOR ME

Kourtney’s turn to cry

Humor columnist Jan A. Igoe takes a stroll through Kourtney Kardashian’s closet to ask the burning question: What price fashion?

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | JULY 2022 | SCLIVING.COOP

FRO M TO P: M IC S M ITH; G I N A M OO R E; L . A . JAC KSO N

Member of the AMP network reaching more than 9 million homes and businesses


Which Direction Are You Looking? Your wealth is about your future. Be sure your financial plan is, too. Life only moves in one direction: Forward. And that’s the same perspective you should bring to your money. At First Citizens Wealth Management, we’re a family-led financial company. And we bring a family sensibility to every decision we make ... always thinking forward and working to help clients understand where they want to go. And how we can help them get there. First Citizens Wealth Management. Forever First.® firstcitizens.com/wealth

INVESTMENTS | INSURANCE | RETIREMENT

Your investments in securities, annuities and insurance are not insured by the FDIC or any other federal government agency and may lose value. They are not a deposit or other obligation of, or guaranteed by any bank or bank affiliate and are subject to investment risks, including possible loss of the principal amount invested. Past performance does not guarantee future results. First Citizens Wealth Management is a registered trademark of First Citizens BancShares, Inc. First Citizens Wealth Management products and services are offered by First-Citizens Bank & Trust Company, Member FDIC; First Citizens Investor Services, Inc., Member FINRA/SIPC, an SEC-registered broker-dealer and investment advisor; and First Citizens Asset Management, Inc., an SEC-registered investment advisor. Brokerage and investment advisory services are offered through First Citizens Investor Services, Inc., Member FINRA/SIPC. First Citizens Asset Management, Inc. provides investment advisory services. Bank deposit products are offered by First Citizens Bank, Member FDIC.


SC |agenda Are you prepared for hurricane season? season, which runs through Nov. 30, is officially here, and forecasters with the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) are predicting another year of “above average” storm activity. The meteorologists at NOAA’s Climate Prediction Center are forecasting up to 21 named storms (winds of 39 mph or higher). As many as 10 of these storms could become hurricanes (cyclonic storms with winds of 74 mph or higher), and three to six of them could become major category 3, 4 or 5 hurricanes with winds of 111 mph or higher. As the guardians of the state’s largest utility network—more than 75,000 miles of electric distribution lines serving 1.5 million people across all 46 counties— South Carolina’s not-for-profit electric cooperatives have emergency plans in place to deal with violent weather should a hurricane threaten the Palmetto State. Along with the South Carolina Emergency Management Division (SCEMD), co-ops urge all state residents to have their own plans in place to protect family, friends, pets and property. Learn what to do before, during and after violent storms with the resources listed at right. THE 2022 ATLANTIC HURRICANE

Visit SCLiving.coop/storm-center for everything you need to prepare for natural disasters. Readers will find useful how-to guides on building a storm kit, evacuating with pets, staying safe when power lines are down, and keeping food safe during extended power outages. There’s even a live, statewide outage map to track storm damage to the power grid and the status of repairs in co-op-served territories.

SC Emergency Manager mobile app

Available for free in the Apple App Store and on Google Play, this handy app links users to every SCEMD resource they need before, during and after a storm, including evacuation and shelter maps and planning checklists.

SCEMD.org

N A SA

No smartphone? No problem. All of the app’s planning resources, maps and links to the latest emergency information are available on scemd.org. In the case of a hurricane (or any natural disaster), SCEMD will update the site to provide the best real-time information users need. Hurricane Dorian raked the coast of South Carolina on Sept. 5, 2019, after delivering devastating damage to the Bahamas.

ONLY ON SCLiving.coop Chocolate zucchini nut bread Chocolate and zucchini? We know it sounds crazy, but would Chef Belinda Smith-Sullivan steer you wrong? One bite of this delicious recipe will make you a believer in the all-purpose cooking power of squash. Download it—and a bumper crop of other squash recipes—at SCLiving.coop/food/squash. I U LI IA N E DRYGA I LOVA

6

South Carolina Living Storm Center

Ready to remodel?

Your home renovation project provides multiple opportunities to update your home’s energy efficiency. Get expert advice in this web exclusive at SCLiving.coop/energy.

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | JULY 2022 | SCLIVING.COOP

South Carolina Hurricane Guide

From both the website and the app, you can download SCEMD’s latest South Carolina Hurricane Guide, a comprehensive booklet filled with tips and resources. To access the guide online, visit scemd.org/stay-informed/ publications/hurricane-guide.

Major appliances like dishwashers, clothes dryers and washing machines account for a large portion of the electricity you use around the house. To save energy and keep bills low, only run full loads in the dishwasher. Dry towels and heavier cottons separate from lighter-weight clothing, and clean the lint screen after every use. Wash clothing in cold water to save energy used to heat water. SOURCE: ENERGYSTAR.GOV


FREEDOM. TO BE YOU. If you think oxygen therapy means slowing down, it’s time for a welcome breath of fresh air. Introducing the Inogen One family of portable oxygen systems. With no need for bulky tanks, each concentrator is designed to keep you active via Inogen’s Intelligent Delivery Technology.® Hours of quiet and consistent oxygen flow on a long-lasting battery charge enabling freedom of movement, whether at home or on the road. Every Inogen One meets FAA requirements for travel ensuring the freedom to be you. • No heavy oxygen tanks • Ultra quiet operation

• Lightweight and easy to use • Safe for car and air travel

• Full range of options and accessories • Clinically validated for 24/7 use

Call 1-888-736-4980 or visit inogen.com for a free consultation and info guide.

MKT-P0254


SC

| dialogue Ordie’s acts of service the cooperatives’ second Honor Flight trip to Washington, D.C., and our group was headed to the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier at Arlington National Cemetery. My legs and shoulders were feeling the length of that eventful day, especially once we hit a steep hill that led up to the cemetery. It was then that I noticed Ordie Brown, the 83-year-old vice chairman of Edisto Electric’s Board of Trustees, pushing his wheelchair-bound brother to our destination. I asked if I could help, but the offer was met with rejection and body language that let me know Former Edisto Electric Cooperative trustee Ordie Brown (left) receives the Order of the Palmetto, the state’s highest civilian honor, from Gov. Henry McMaster. I shouldn’t insist. Brown served on the co-op board for 48 years. Ordie had been with his brother, John K, all day, making sure the WWII family and were pillars of their community. veteran who served under Gen. George Patton saw In March, Ordie retired from the Edisto Electric every monument and memorial they had come to see. It was an act of s­ ervice that he took up dutifully board as the longest-serving African American coopand lovingly. erative trustee in the state’s history and likely the Edisto Electric Cooperative members have been longest-serving anywhere in the country. Ordie also fortunate to benefit from Ordie Brown’s faithful helped facilitate local, state and federal elections service for the past 48 years. In 1974, a time when for 20 years as a member of the Dorchester County many electric cooperative boards still did not repElection Commission and was the founding orgaresent the people they served, Ordie became Edisto nizer of the Reevesville American Legion Post. He Electric’s first African American trustee and one of currently is a member of the Williams Memorial the first in South Carolina. Alumni Association, a group charged with restorCurrent Edisto Electric board chairman Doug ing the St. George Rosenwald School into a museum Reeves, who had joined the board four years earand community center. Last month, I was fortunate to witness Gov. lier, says Ordie was the ideal person to fill such a Henry McMaster present Ordie with the state’s crucial role. He was a respected, educated man of highest civilian honor, the Order of the Palmetto. faith who knew his community of St. George as It’s an award recognizing the many acts of service well as anyone could. and sacrifice he has made for the people of South “Ordie is an outstanding person who was Carolina. always looking out for our members,” says Reeves. But in my mind, nothing exemplifies Ordie’s “That’s exactly what we needed on our board.” commitment to his community like the devotion to Born in St. George in 1928, Ordie attended his brother that I witnessed on that hill 10 years ago. the Rosenwald School there. After high school, he joined the Army and served as a military police officer during the Korean War. Ordie then spent a few years in New York and Florida before returning to his hometown, where he farmed soybeans and worked as a carpenter. He married the girl with whom he used to walk to school, MIKE COUICK President and CEO, Cornie, and in their 57 years together raised a The Electric Cooperatives of South Carolina ON SEPT. 26, 2012, I WAS ON

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | JULY 2022 | SCLIVING.COOP

JOS H P. C ROT ZE R

8


RECHARGEABLE Digital Hearing Aid

BUY 1 GET 1

FREE

REG $299.9

8

W ONLY O L W E N 99 E C I $ 149 PR uy a Pair You Each When

How can a rechargeable hearing aid that costs only $14999 be every bit as good

B

SHIPPING PLUS FREE e Only! imited Tim L

“I was amazed! Sounds I hadn’t heard in years came back to me!”

as one that sells for $2,400 or more?

The answer: Although tremendous strides have

been made in Hearing Aid Technology, those cost reductions have not been passed on to you. Until now... The MDHearingAid® VOLT uses the same kind of technology incorporated into hearing aids that cost thousands more at a small fraction of the price.

— Don W., Sherman, TX

CHARGE AT NIGHT AND GO ALL DAY

NEVER

CHANGE A BATTERY

AGAIN!

Over 600,000 satisfied MDHearingAid customers Carrying case is also the charger agree: High-quality, digital, FDA-registered rechargeable hearing aids don’t have to cost a fortune. The fact is, you don’t need to spend 45-DAY RISK-FREE TRIAL! If you are not completely satisfied with thousands for a hearing aid. MDHearingAid is your MDHearingAids, return them a medical-grade, digital, rechargeable hearing aid within 45 days for a FULL REFUND! offering sophistication and high performance; For the Lowest Price Call and works right out of the box with no timeconsuming “adjustment” appointments. You Nearly Invisible can contact a licensed hearing specialist www.MDVolt.com conveniently online or by phone — even after your purchase at no cost. No other company Use Code provides such extensive support. Now that you know...why pay more?

1-800-301-5139

LS47

DOCTOR DESIGNED | AUDIOLOGIST TESTED | FDA REGISTERED

and get FREE Shipping A+BBB Proudly assembled rating for 10+ years

in America!


SC

| recipe SQUASH AU GRATIN SERVES 6–8

Veggie gardeners know tha t nothing grows faster than squash. Fortunately, it’s a surprisingly versatile vegetable, so use this summer’ s bumper crop to make just ab out every course of your meals.

LEMON SQUASH CUSTARD PIE SERVES 8

1 pie crust (homemade or storebought), pre-baked and cooled 1 cup grated yellow squash (1 small- to medium-sized squash) I cup sugar H teaspoon kosher salt

2 G G 1 G 1

large eggs cup heavy cream cup unsalted butter, melted tablespoon all-purpose flour cup unsweetened flaked coconut teaspoon lemon extract

Preheat oven to 350 F. Place pie crust in a 9-inch glass pie baking dish and line with parchment paper; weigh down with pie weights. Bake in oven 7–8 minutes. Remove pie shell from oven and remove pie weights and parchment. Allow to cool. Peel squash and cut in half. Scoop out seeds and grate. Place all ingredients in the bowl of a blender and mix until smooth. Pour into pie shell and bake for 45 minutes or until filling is set and top is lightly golden. To prevent crust from over-browning, place a pie shield over the edges. Allow pie to cool slightly, and serve warm. Drain after grating. Summer squash and zucchini tend to have a lot of moisture. After grating, place squash in a colander and allow to drain or place in a clean kitchen towel and squeeze out excess moisture before adding it to your recipes. CHEF’S TIP

What’s cooking at

SCLiving.coop

More squash recipes. Up to your ears in summer squash and zucchini? Then visit SCLiving.coop/squash for even more great recipes, including Chef Belinda’s chocolate zucchini nut bread.

SCLiving.coop/​food/​chefbelinda

10

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | JULY 2022 | SCLIVING.COOP

2 large plum tomatoes, cut into J-inch-thick rounds H–1 cup grated Pecorino Romano (or Parmesan) Fresh thyme leaves, for garnish

Preheat oven to 350 F. Lightly coat a 2-quart baking dish with olive oil. Heat 2 tablespoons of the olive oil in a frying pan over medium heat. Add the onion and saute until translucent, 5 to 10 minutes. Add the bell pepper and garlic and season with salt and pepper. Cook, stirring occasionally, until softened, 5 to 10 minutes. Transfer the onion-pepper mixture to the prepared baking dish and spread evenly. Set aside. In a bowl, combine the zucchini, squash, 4 tablespoons oil, rosemary, thyme, salt and pepper and stir to coat evenly. Arrange the zucchini, squash and tomato slices on the onion-pepper mixture, overlapping the rows. Drizzle with the remaining 2 tablespoons oil and bake for 40–45 minutes. (If you have squash and zucchini left over, refrigerate in a plastic bag and saute with sliced onions for another meal.) Remove from oven and sprinkle cheese and thyme on top. Let stand for 10 minutes before serving.

HERB SQUASH FRITTERS MAKES 8 LARGE FRITTERS

2 medium-large yellow squash, grated (4–5 cups) 1 small, sweet onion, grated or finely chopped 1 cup grated sharp cheddar cheese, optional 2 large eggs H cup chopped parsley or scallions (or combination) H cup cornmeal Kosher salt 1–2 tablespoons canola oil for frying Fresh ground black pepper (more as needed) J teaspoon cayenne pepper Red pepper jelly (or salsa), for garnish H cup all-purpose flour GWÉ N A Ë L LE VOT

BY BELINDA SMITH-SULLIVAN

KAREN HERMANN

G I N A M OO R E

Summer squash roundup

1 cup olive oil plus more for greasing pan 1 yellow onion, sliced 1 red bell pepper, seeded and cut into J-inch strips 5 garlic cloves, minced Kosher salt Fresh ground pepper to taste 2 small zucchinis, cut into J-inch-thick rounds 2 small squashes, cut into J-inch-thick rounds 1 teaspoon finely chopped fresh rosemary 1 teaspoon finely chopped fresh thyme

In a large mixing bowl, combine squash, onion, cheese, eggs, parsley/ scallions, salt and peppers. Mix until well blended. Add flour and cornmeal and mix until just blended—do not overmix. Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Using a large ice cream scoop (or large spoon), drop scoops of squash mixture into skillet and flatten with the back of scoop. Fry 4 minutes on each side until golden brown. Cook in batches—do not crowd skillet. Add more oil to skillet as needed. Remove fritters from skillet and place on a paper towel. Plate and serve with red pepper jelly or topping of choice.


ALL-NEW mobility technology

Introducing the world’s lightest mobility scooter with anti-tip technology The So Lite Scooter is easy to transport and almost impossible to tip over. TM

Like millions of older Americans, I struggle with mobility. For years, I watched my quality of life slip away, as I was forced to stay home while friends and family took part in activities I’d once enjoyed. I thought I’d made some progress when I got a mobility scooter, but then I realized how hard it was to transport. Taking it apart and putting it back together was like doing a jigsaw puzzle. Once I had it disassembled, I had to try to put all of the pieces in the trunk of a car, go to wherever I was going, and repeat the process in reverse. Travel scooters were easier to transport, but they were uncomfortable and scary to drive, I always felt like I was ready to tip over. Then I found the So LiteTM Scooter. Now there’s nothing that can hold me back. Years of work by innovative engineers have resulted in a scooter that’s designed with seniors in mind. They created Electronic Stability Control (ESC) that makes it virtually impossible to tip over. If you try to turn too quickly, the scooter automatically slows down to prevent it from tipping over. The battery provides powerful energy at a fraction of the weight of most batteries. With its rugged yet lightweight aluminum frame, the So LiteTM Scooter is the most portable scooter ever—but it can hold up to 275 pounds—yet weighs only 40.8 pounds without the battery! What’s more, it easily folds up for storage in a car seat, trunk or even on an

Why a So Lite Scooter is better: TM

• Latest “No-Tip” Technology Lightweight • yet durable

• Folds and locks in seconds Easier to operate •

airplane. It folds in seconds without tools and is safe and reliable. Best of all, it’s designed with your safety in mind, from the newest technology and superior craftsmanship. Why spend another day letting your lack of mobility ruin your quality of life? Call now and find out how you can get a So LiteTM Scooter of your very own.

The So Lite Scooter TM

Call now Toll-Free

1-888-676-0436

Mention promotion code 117217. © 2022 Journey Health and Lifestyle

85671

Exclusive Electronic Stability Control helps prevent tipping


SC

| stories Recipe for success

Chef Miles Huff AGE:

64.

Currently lives in Beaufort, but home is—and always will be—Summerville. CLAIM TO FAME: Founding dean of the Culinary Institute of the South (tcl.edu/culinary-institute). LITTLE-KNOWN FACT: Huff was the first college graduate in his family of rural farmers. WRITE IT DOWN: In 2017, he published South Carolina Schools Cook!, a training manual for school nutrition service professionals. His next project? Taking the concept national with United States Schools Cook! CO-OP AFFILIATION: Berkeley Electric Cooperative. HOME TURF:

12

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | JULY 2022 | SCLIVING.COOP

Before he went to culinary school and became one of South Carolina’s top teaching chefs, Miles Huff served as a U.S. Air Force medic for 26 years and took care of his grandparents— and then his mother—in their final years. So it doesn’t come as a surprise that Huff has devoted his culinary career to preparing young adults for service to others. It’s just his way to take life’s ingredients, let them marinate (or some might say, rise) and help produce the next generation of chefs, cookbook authors, caterers and artisan food creators in his most-recent position—dean of the Culinary Institute of the South (tcl.edu/culinary-institute) in Bluffton. Due to his humble beginnings in rural Berkeley County, he never thought he’d be where he is today. “I used to be embarrassed about how poor we were. I tell people, ‘I’ve eaten so much squirrel, I have a nut allergy today.’ As a barefooted boy living on a dirt road, I would have never imagined that one day I would be a dean of a college.” After teaching at his alma mater, Johnson & Wales in Charleston, and assisting in the creation of the Culinary Institute of Charleston at Trident Technical College, Huff came out of retirement to launch the Technical College of the Lowcountry’s new Culinary Institute of the South, which opened earlier this year, complete with a “grab and go” cafe and The Bistro, a 24-seat teaching restaurant. He designed the building, wrote the curriculum, and welcomed the first 80 students. Future plans call for growing enrollment to 400plus students and opening the Foodseum, the country’s only museum focusing on the food culture of the South. Now that Huff has announced his second retirement, launching the Culinary Institute of the South will be a delicious part of his legacy. “This place has my fingerprints all over it,” Huff says proudly. “I love teaching students because their future is ahead of them. I love knowing where they can go. I love opening up their world.” —CELE AND LYNN SELDON | PHOTO BY MIC SMITH


THERAPY, SAFETY AND INDEPENDENCE

How a Safe Step Walk-In Tub can change your life Remember when…

Personal Checklist:

Think about the things you loved to do that are difficult today — going for a walk or just sitting comfortably while reading a book. And remember the last time you got a great night’s sleep? As we get older, health issues or even everyday aches, pains and stress can prevent us from enjoying life. So what’s keeping you from having a better quality of life? Check all the conditions that apply to you. Then read on to learn how a Safe Step Walk-In Tub can help.

Arthritis

Dry Skin

Insomnia

Anxiety

Diabetes

Mobility Issues

Lower Back Pain

Poor Circulation

Feel better, sleep better, live better A Safe Step Walk-In Tub lets you indulge in a warm, relaxing bath that can help relieve life’s aches, pains and worries.

Safe Step includes more standard therapeutic and safety features than any other tub on the market, plus the best warranty in the industry: Heated Seat and Back

Hydro-Jet Water Therapy – 10 Built-In Variable-Speed Massaging Water Jets

Electronic Keypad MicroSoothe® Air Therapy System

16 Air Bubble Jets

New Rapid Fill Faucet

Complete Lifetime Warranty on the Tub

A Safe Step Tub can help increase mobility, boost energy and improve sleep.

It’s got everything you should look for in a walk-in tub: • Heated Seat – Providing soothing warmth from start to finish. • MicroSoothe® Air Therapy System – helps oxygenate and soften skin while offering therapeutic benefits. • Pain-relieving therapy – Hydro massage jets target sore muscles and joints. • Safety features – Low step-in, grab bars and more can help you bathe safely and maintain your independence. • Free Shower Package – shower while seated or standing.

Call now toll free

1-888-977-3177

for more information and for our Senior Discounts.

Financing available with approved credit.

Call today and receive a

FREE SHOWER PACKAGE PLUS $1600 OFF

Personal Hygiene Therapy System and Bidet

FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY

Anti-Slip Tub Floor

Call Toll-Free 1-888-977-3177 Foot Massaging Jets Wider Door, The Industry’s Leading Low Step-In

CSLB 1082165 NSCB 0082999 0083445

With purchase of a new Safe Step Walk-In Tub. Not applicable with any previous walk-in tub purchase. Offer available while supplies last. No cash value. Must present offer at time of purchase.

www.BuySafeStep.com


beautiful game THE

match against United Soccer League’s top team, Louisville City, Charleston Battery midfielder Andrew Booth intercepts a back pass and squares the ball to forward Mauro Cichero. Taking a deft touch to line up his shot, Cichero strikes it low and left past the opposing goalkeeper to find the back of the net, as thousands of Battery fans at Patriots Point Stadium—many of them clad in the home team’s yellow-and-black ­jerseys—roar like crazy. The Supporter Section, a stand of bleachers devoted to the most diehard and passionate part of the fan base, goes especially wild. Someone in a pirate hat lights a flare, and yellow smoke envelops the fist-pumpers, the foot-stompers, the flagwavers and the noise-makers. Drummers drum a war beat as confetti rains down on the main supporter groups—The Regiment, The Queen Anne’s Revenge, The Bombshells—who break into a call‑and‑response chant: We are the Holy City! Home of the Battery … IN THE 31ST MINUTE OF AN EARLY-SEASON

Can you hear our cannons roar? Can you feel our thunder? We’re the fleet of Charleston Come to put you under! 14

Kicking it with the Charleston Battery and their devoted fans BY HASTINGS HENSEL PHOTOS BY MIC SMITH

p FANTASTIC VIEW Ravenel Bridge provides the backdrop to Patriots Point, home of the Charleston Battery.

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | JULY 2022 | SCLIVING.COOP

The team on the field is equally joyous, celebrating Cichero’s second goal of the season by piling on top of him near the corner flag. The Battery are now up 1-0 on a team that hasn’t lost a game all season, and nearly everyone in the stadium is cheering them on. Because, as anyone who’s ever fallen in love with the world’s most popular sport will tell you, soccer is “the beautiful game.” Jeff Uyak, a longtime Battery supporter who used to live in England, puts it this way: “It’s football,” he says, using the term for soccer that most of the world uses. “Period. End. And it’s local football. And local football is life.” LONG BEFORE AMERICA WENT CRAZY for soccer and NBC started airing English Premier League matches on television, and long before the U.S. was awarded the 2026 World Cup—Tommy Byrne was a Charleston Battery diehard. He’s been a member of the supporter group The Regiment for over a decade. He goes to every home game. He’s got Battery tattoos. He goes to at least one away game every season and trades scarves with the rival supporter group. During the pandemic, he got together on Zoom with fellow supporters to watch the games on ESPN+, which airs all USL matches.


“Traditionally, in all soccer teams, they have a supporter group,” he says before the Louisville City game, unfolding a lawn chair for the tailgate and explaining the fervor of Battery fandom. Other supporters are helping themselves to hot dogs and sausages as a Bluetooth speaker blares ­get-pumped-up music. “Frequently, they’re called The Ultras. We’re friendly and welcoming. We’ll sing and chant, but we’re not mean about it. We’re just out here to have a good time.” These groups may only constitute a small percentage of the roughly 3,000 fans in regular attendance at Battery games, but they are certainly the loudest and most intense. They are not exactly rivals who support the same team—in fact, you can be a member of multiple groups—but each group has its distinct identity. The Queen Anne’s Revenge has been described as “the rowdy younger brother” to the older and more traditional Regiment; The Bombshells are all women. the supporters all know the same songs and chants for their beloved Battery, one of the United Soccer League’s oldest continuously operating teams. Founded in 1993 by Tony Bakker, who owned the software company Blackbaud, the team played NO MATTER THEIR NAME OR MAKEUP,

p BIG FANS Queen Anne’s Revenge supporters fly the team colors and take no prisoners in their enthusiastic support of the Charleston Battery. q BIGGEST FAN Owner

Rob Salvatore keeps a watchful eye on both the crowd and the play at a recent match.

for many years at MUSC Health Stadium on Daniel Island, the first non-MLS soccer-specific stadium in the country. Bakker sold his ownership in 2016 to B Sports Entertainment, whose three-season tenure is generally regarded by Battery fans as “the dark days.” Enter businessman Rob Salvatore, who bought the team in 2019. Salvatore describes himself as a very hands-on owner (“kind of like the CEO”), and one of his first big decisions was to move the team to a new stadium in Mount Pleasant. He also replaced longtime Battery coach Mike Anheuser with Conor Casey, who played for 16 seasons in the MLS. Although some fans were skeptical about these moves, they now relish the new location and new coach. “With Conor, he came in and said, ‘I’m gonna make the team the way I wanna make it,’” says Byrne. “It’s very pressing, very forward, and it makes it super exciting to watch.” On the day of their game against Louisville City in late April, goalkeeper and fan favorite Joe Kuzminsky is amped. He pounds his goalie gloves together, encouraging his teammates to come out strong. Behind him, Drew Bartow fires up a chant that, he says, has “been passed down kind of like grandma’s biscuit recipe.” uu

SCLIVING.COOP | JULY 2022 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

15


“ On the field, it’s better having those fans behind you, yelling your name or cheering you when you make a save or score a goal.” — JOE KUZMINSKY (1), RIGHT

BIG DREAMS Right back defender Matt Sheldon, right, leads the ball boys and girls to the pitch before the game. “It’s a dream I’ll always have, to play in the MLS or even higher, to be honest,” he says. Central defender Leland Archer, below left, who played at College of Charleston, concurs. “Always have that hunger to move up, whether it be abroad or MLS.”

“ Always have that hunger to move up. ... Working every day, just to kind of get better and better.” —LELAND ARCHER (5)

16

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | JULY 2022 | SCLIVING.COOP

“As a goalkeeper right in front of them, I think I have a really good relationship with them,” Kuzminsky says about Battery fans. “They’ve been so warm and welcoming. That Southern hospitality is real. And on the field, it’s better having those fans behind you, yelling your name or cheering you when you make a save or score a goal.” Bartow returns the sentiment: “I love this because these kids are hustling. They want to make it to the next step if they can. Most of them don’t, but they give it 110% every time.” of minor league sports. As a fan, you know that the players play their hearts out every game because they have ambitions to move up. Battery players are just one rung away from the top level of U.S. professional soccer—the MLS. The Greenville Triumph, South Carolina’s other professional soccer team, plays one division below the Battery in USL League One, and The Greenville Liberty Soccer Club is a new ­women’s pre-professional soccer team that began competing in May. These players know, then, that scouts are always watching. Take Battery right back defender Matt Sheldon, for instance. In the fifth minute of the game against Louisville, he runs all the way up the pitch to take a throw-in, launches a long throw into the penalty area, then races all the way back downfield to defend again. “It’s a dream I’ll always have, to play in the MLS or even higher, to be honest,” says Sheldon, who at THEREIN LIES ONE OF THE ATTRACTIONS

GET THERE The Patriots Point Soccer Complex is located at 85 Patriots Point Road in Mount Pleasant. Single-game tickets start at $12 for general admission. For more information, visit charlestonbattery.com.


29 has played all over the world, from New Zealand to Germany. “I know that comes from performing and from having really great seasons in the USL. I truly believe that if I have a couple of standout seasons, I can make that progression.” This means that Battery players train year‑round, and professional soccer is a full-time job. Although they have their hobbies outside of the sport (Kuzminsky restores old cars, Sheldon has a YouTube channel with nearly 500,000 subscribers), they’re here to play ball for a living. And for the first 72 minutes against Louisville, it looks good for the Battery. Kuzminsky’s fine saves, Sheldon’s good tackles, and Leland Archer’s strong clearances have kept the away team off the score sheet. But then Louisville City finds some space on the left, and Kuzminsky is beaten at the near post. Patriots Point goes nearly silent, save for a smattering of applause from the Louisville City fans and their players. But the Battery supporter groups are not deterred, and they start up their chants again. Finally, when the Battery do hold the top team

“ With Conor, he came in and said, ‘I’m gonna make the team the way I wanna make it.’ It makes it super exciting to watch.” — FAN TOMMY BYRNE, RIGHT, ABOUT COACH CONOR CASEY, BELOW

in the USL to a 1-1 draw, the players walk over to the supporter section after the final whistle and clap for the people who have been clapping all game long for them. Byrne is beaming as he says, “I tell you what, having that kind of interaction is super important to us because it makes us feel like they ­appreciate the fact we’re coming out here, we’re screaming our lungs out. I’m gonna be hoarse for two days, and they’ve been running for 90 minutes, they’re exhausted. I get it. But that right there means e­verything to everybody.”

“To you, it’s the perfect lift chair. To me, it’s the best sleep chair I’ve ever had.” — J. Fitzgerald, VA

3

CHAIRS IN ONE:

SLEEP/RECLINE/LIFT

Our Perfect Sleep Chair® does all that and more. More than a chair or recliner, it’s designed to provide total comfort. Choose your preferred heat and massage settings, for hours of soothing relaxation. Reading or watching TV? Our chair’s recline technology allows you to pause the chair in an infinite number of settings. And best of all, it features a powerful lift mechanism that tilts the entire chair forward, making it easy to stand. You’ll love the other benefits, too. It helps with correct spinal alignment and promotes back pressure relief, to prevent back and muscle pain. The overstuffed, oversized biscuit style back and unique seat design will cradle you in comfort. Generously filled, wide armrests provide enhanced arm support when sitting or reclining. It even has a battery backup in case of a power outage.

White glove delivery included in shipping charge. Professionals will deliver the chair to the exact spot in your home where you want it, unpack it, inspect it, test it, position it, and even carry the packaging away! You get your choice of Luxurious and Lasting Brisa, Genuine Italian Leather, stain and liquid repellent Duralux with the classic leather look, or plush MicroLux microfiber, all handcrafted in a variety of colors to fit any decor. Call now!

1-888-864-0193

Please mention code 117313 when ordering.

Because each Perfect Sleep Chair is a made-to-order bedding product it cannot be returned, but if it arrives damaged or defective, at our option we will repair it or replace it. © 2022 Journey Health and Lifestyle.

ACCREDITED BUSINESS A+

SCLIVING.COOP | JULY 2022 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

46622

Pictured is Luxurious & Lasting Brisa™. Ask about our 5 Comfort Zone chair.

17


SC

| calendar

Upstate JU LY

15–16 South Carolina Peach Festival, downtown, Gaffney. southcarolinapeachfestival.weebly.com. 15–24 We Will Rock You, Spartanburg Little Theatre, Spartanburg. (864) 542‑2787 or spartanburglittletheatre.com. 16 Banjo Extravaganza, Hagood Mill Historic Site, Pickens. (864) 898‑2936 or hagoodmillhistoricsite.com. 23 Harry Potter – A Taste of Hogwarts and Hogsmeade, Greer Station, Greer. (864) 416‑0125 or greerstation.com. 28–31 Carolina Foothills Dog Show Cluster, Greenville Convention Center, Greenville. (864) 233‑2662 or carolinafoothillscluster.com.

JULY 15–AUG 30

29–Aug. 21 The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, The Warehouse Theatre, Greenville. (864) 235‑6948 or warehousetheatre.com. 30–Aug. 6 Senior League Baseball World Series, Easley Recreation Complex, Easley. (864) 855‑7933 or littleleague.org. AUG UST

4 Neighborhood Nights, Upcountry History Museum, 540 Buncombe St., Greenville. (864) 467‑3100 or upcountryhistory.org. 5–6, 12–13 The Taming of the Shrew, Greenwood Community Theatre, Greenwood. (864) 229‑5704 or greenwoodcommunitytheatre.com. 6 Ranger Guided Battlefield Hike, Battle of Musgrove Mill State Historic Site, Clinton. (864) 938‑0100. 13 Music on the Mountain, Table Rock State Park, Pickens. (864) 878‑9813. 13–14 Summer Gun and Knife Show, Greenville Convention Center, Greenville. (864) 233‑2662

18 Summer Food Truck Rollout,

Greer City Park, Greer. (864) 968‑7008 or cityofgreer.org. 20 Summer’s End Cruise In, Market at the Mill, Pickens. (864) 506‑2982. 26–27 Williamston Spring Water Festival, Mineral Spring Park, Williamston. springwaterfestival.com.

Midlands JULY

15–16 Pageland Watermelon Festival, downtown, Pageland. (843) 672‑6400 or pagelandchamber.org. 15–23 A Doublewide, Texas Christmas, Aiken Community Theatre, Aiken. (803) 648‑1438 or aikencommunitytheatre.org. 17–19 Juneteenth Festival Rock Hill, downtown, Rock Hill. (803) 322‑5798 or juneteenthrockhill.com. 23 “Medicinal Plant—Blackberry” Lecture, Battle of Rivers Bridge State Historic Site, Ehrhardt. (803) 267‑3675.

Blythewood Historical Society & Museum

Come visit to see our train, arrowheads, yearbooks dating back to 1949, family histories, and interesting artifacts.

100 McNulty Street, Blythewood, SC Open: Tues., Wed., Thurs., 9-4 and every first and third Saturday 10-3 Free of Charge.

BlythewoodHistoricalSociety.org 803.333.8133 18

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | JULY 2022 | SCLIVING.COOP

SCLiving.coop/calendar

Our mobile-friendly site lists even more festivals, shows and events. You’ll also find instructions on submitting your event. Please confirm information with the hosting event before attending. 28–Aug. 7 Disney Beauty and

the Beast by Chapin Theatre Company, Harbison Theatre, Irmo. (803) 404‑0015 or chapintheatre.org. 29 Moonlight Adventure Dinner: Kayak at Night, Greenway Gateway, Fort Mill. (803) 547‑4575 or ascgreenway.org. AUGUST

1–Sept. 12 Summer Art Camp, Aiken Center for the Arts, Aiken. (803) 641‑9094 or aikencenterforthearts.org. 4 Main Street Live, Main Street, Rock Hill. onlyinoldtown.com. 5 Corsets & Cravats: 19th Century Fashion Show, Newberry Opera House, Newberry. (803) 276‑6264 or newberryoperahouse.com.

5–6 Little Mountain Reunion, Reunion Park, Little Mountain. (803) 605‑8777 or littlemountainreunion.info. 6 Hot Summer’s Night 5K, 2515 Devine St., Columbia. strictlyrunning.com. 19 Aiken Master Gardener Association Lunch Box Series: “Keeping the Girls…Bees,” Millbrook Baptist Church, Aiken. (803) 508‑7739 or aikenmastergardeners.com. 20 Arts Alive Open House, Aiken Center for the Arts, Aiken. (803) 641‑9094 or aikencenterforthearts.org. 26–27 York Summerfest, downtown, York. (803) 684‑2341 or yorkscsummerfest.com.


PALMETTO STATE

| marketplace

To advertise, please go to SCLiving.coop or email ads@scliving.coop

Lowcountry JULY

14–30 Loggerhead Sea Turtle Walk, Edisto Beach State Park, Edisto Island. (843) 869‑4430. 15 Sounds of Summer Concert Series: Living on a Prayer, Bon Jovi Tribute Band, North Myrtle Beach Park and Sports Complex Amphitheater, North Myrtle Beach. (843) 280‑5570. 15–24 Beaufort Water Festival, various locations, Beaufort. (843) 524‑0600 or bftwaterfestival.com. 16 A Defensive Posture (Musket Demonstration), Charles Towne Landing State Historic Site, Charleston. (843) 852‑4200. 16 Charleston Caribbean Jerk Festival, Riverfront Park, Charleston. (843) 471‑4100 or chsjerkfest.com. 16 Table Talk: The Supper Table Opening, Morris Center for Lowcountry Heritage, Ridgeland. (843) 284‑9227 or morrisheritagecenter.org. 19 Black in the Trenches: 371st in WWI, Morris Center for Lowcountry Heritage, Ridgeland. (843) 284‑9227 or morrisheritagecenter.org. 20 Art of Jazz: Kevin Patton Quartet, Gibbes Museum of Art, Charleston. (843) 641‑0011 or charlestonjazz.com. 20–23 Edisto Beach Billfish Tournament, The Marina at Edisto Beach. (843) 631‑5055 or themarinaeb.com. 22 Paddle With A Ranger, Givhans Ferry State Park, Ridgeville. (843) 873‑0692. 23 Isle of Palms Beach Run, The Windjammer, Isle of Palms. (843) 886‑6428 or iop.net. 23–24, 30–31 James and the Giant Peach, Dock Street Theatre, Charleston. (843) 577‑5967 or charlestonstage.com. 29 Lowcountry Summer Coin Show, Exchange Park Fairgrounds, Ladson. (843) 302‑6210 or lowcountrycoinclub.com. 30–31 Folly Beach Wahine Classic, Folly Beach. follywahine.org. AU G U ST

5–7 2022 Craftsmen’s Summer Classic, Myrtle Beach Convention Center, Myrtle Beach. gilmoreshows.com. 6 Lowcountry Glass Mosaics, Morris Center for Lowcountry Heritage, Ridgeland. (843) 284‑9227 or morrisheritagecenter.org. 10 Family Fun Day, Coastal Discovery Museum, Hilton Head Island. (843) 689‑6767 or coastaldiscovery.org. 12 Take a Seat: Visual Artists’ Panel, Morris Center for Lowcountry Heritage, Ridgeland. (843) 284‑9227 or morrisheritagecenter.org. 13 Half Rubber Tournament, Isle of Palms Recreation Department, Isle of Palms. (843) 886‑8294 or iop.net. 19 Sounds of Summer Concert Series: Tribute to Van Morrison and James Taylor Paul Grimshaw Band, North Myrtle Beach Park and Sports Complex Amphitheater, North Myrtle Beach. (843) 280‑5570. 24 Art of Jazz: Jamie Slater Trio, Gibbes Museum of Art, Charleston. (843) 641‑0011 or charlestonjazz.com. 27 The Food We Celebrate Exhibition Opening, Morris Center for Lowcountry Heritage, Ridgeland. (843) 284‑9227 or morrisheritagecenter.org. 28 Hilton Head BIG Fish 5K Run/Walk, South Beach Marina Village, Hilton Head Island. (843) 815‑1718. ONG O I NG

Wednesdays Green Barn Jam, Sewee Outpost, Awendaw.

(843) 452‑1642 or awendawgreen.com.

Wednesdays and Fridays through Aug. 31 Critter Meet and Greet, Coastal Discovery Museum, Hilton Head Island. (843) 689‑6767 or coastaldiscovery.org.

Have you ever thought about going to Costa Rica for DENTAL IMPLANTS? I am a destination specialist with over 10 years experience helping people like you. COMPLETE RESTORATION as low as $17,000. Contact me and the American Dental Association Certified Dentist at 336-300-4000. Start smiling again! Call for specials!

EASTERN

DIVISION

STORAGE BUILDINGS HAY BARNS HORSE BARNS GARAGES *Custom building shown. Call for pricing.

We love to hear from our readers! Click on the “Contact Us” link at SCLiving.coop.

Steel Mobile Home Roofing Leaks? High energy bill? Roof rumble?

Hurricane Upgrade E of I-95 • Fully Insured • #1 Metal • Custom Sizes 4/12 roof pitch • Engineered trusses • Local codes/freight may affect prices

www.nationalbarn.com

Contact us at 800.633.8969 or roofover.com

1-888-427-BARN (2276)

Join the conversation and share your photos Celebrate all that’s great about life in South Carolina. facebook.com/ SouthCarolinaLiving

Mobile Home Roofover Systems Since 1983 SCLIVING.COOP | JULY 2022 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

19


SC

| gardener JULY IN THE GARDEN

n Long periods of hot, dry weather can stress tomato and pepper plants to the point that they begin to drop blossoms, which will reduce their crops. Try misting the plants twice a day to help counter the effects of such extended summer simmer.

n Continue filling the bird bath with water at least once or twice a week, and to keep this refreshment stand fresh, also clean it every two weeks.

L . A . JAC KSO N

TROWEL TIME Home-propagated coleuses are ready to brighten up the outdoor garden.

TIP OF THE MONTH Coleuses won’t survive the winter outside, but in the fall, cuttings can be easily rooted and tucked away indoors until next spring. Simply snip a five-inch stem just below a leaf node, take off all but the top four or five leaves and place it in a bottle of water. In just a few weeks, white roots will begin snaking out of the submerged parts of the stem, and you can then transfer the new plant to a container of quality potting soil. Locate young coleuses in a sunny window and water the pots as well as mist the leaves regularly. Come spring, take your propagated pretties out to play in the garden!

20

L . A . JAC KSO N

n For better taste—and less slime—pick okra pods when they are about three inches long. And for even less slime, leave the pods whole when boiling okra.

The constant color of coleus BY L.A. JACKSON

COMPARED TO THE BRIGHT BLOSSOM

displays of spring and the brilliance that is ­autumn in its full foliage blaze, the midsummer ornamental garden can often be ho-hum visually. During this lull, green tends to dominate the summer landscape. There are always colorful blooming flowers, of course, but many of their shows can be fleeting. So, what will provide constant colors to counter such a green wave in the summer garden? Variegated plants do help break up this wash of greenness, but I like to stir in more razzle to their dazzle by also adding sassy coleuses to my planting beds. Coleuses, which are usually treated as annuals, are foliar floozies that have been used in American landscapes since the 1800s, but in the last few decades, rowdier, swankier forms have crashed the garden party, with several of them being generally larger and, in many cases, more colorful than their past cousins. Speaking of color, almost every hue but blue is part of the coleuses’ palette these days. And for even more ocular bang, their leaf forms are also all over the map. Coleuses won’t be hard to find at local garden centers this month, but do take a look at Rosy Dawn Gardens’ website at rosydawngardens.com. This Michigan nursery has finished shipping for this season and won’t take new orders until December, but if you want

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | JULY 2022 | SCLIVING.COOP

SHOWOFFS Coleuses come in many shapes and (constant) colors.

an informal tutorial on just how wide a range of colors and shapes coleuses now come in, check out the images of their 200-plus selections. To keep coleuses happy through the long growing season, mulch these pretties after planting them in rich, loamy, well-worked soil. Well-draining growing ground is important because a yucky, damp setting will encourage root rot to come out and play. I have found planting these dandies where they receive generous morning light but are shielded from the worst of the midday to early afternoon summer sun results in the best colors for their displays. There are also so-called “sun coleuses” that can tolerate more exposure to natural light. I’ve even seen them flaunting away on open traffic island berms, but they are usually watered thoroughly every few days to encourage deep root development, which is important for extended perky displays under the hot summer sun. Want really bushy coleuses? Simply pinch the tips of their stems back just a bit about three or four weeks after planting and again a month later. is the former editor of Carolina Gardener magazine. Contact him at lajackson1@gmail.com.

L.A. JACKSON


SC

| humor me

Kourtney’s turn to cry BY JAN A. IGOE

I regret to inform you that there has been a disaster in the Kardashian-Jenner clan (let’s call them “Jenndashians” for short) even more horrific than internet obscurity. Before Kourtney got hitched to her drummer boy, she broke her engagement ring while allegedly—get this—folding clothes. Distraught, she retreated to her closet and cried for hours, according to courageous reporters embedded there, awaiting her next burp or blister. Not to impugn the findings of hard-core journalists, but there’s no reason for her to wear anything twice, so folding is not exactly a survival skill in her realm. If that sounds like flat-out ugly, green-eyed jealousy, that’s because it is. Not that there’s anything wrong with beauty, royalty, wealth or fame. Who wouldn’t like that? I’m just a tad envious of entire families born into it. A long time ago, my dad—a drummer (not Kourtney’s)—had a handful of ultrafamous students. When JFK Jr. was about 12, he was one of them. Dad got a kick out of sharing young John’s stories about his mom, Jackie Kennedy Onassis, who allegedly tried teaching him to clean a bathroom. You know, to experience how the commoners live. His objection was reasonable: Why would a Kennedy ever clean his own bathroom? In the event of a nuclear holocaust? If aliens abducted every last housekeeper, butler, maid and personal assistant on the planet? He had a point. I always admired Jackie, but something tells me she never had a close, personal relationship with a toilet brush. Once, when Ms. Onassis FELLOW PEASANTS,

22

She retreated to her closet and cried for hours, according to courageous reporters embedded there. called our house to reschedule John’s drum lesson, I happened to answer the phone. (They were going to Greece for the weekend.) She was exceptionally courteous and utterly delightful. Obviously, Jackie had previous experience dealing with peasants, but it was my virgin encounter with royalty. Totally tongue-tied, I held up my end of a 90-second conversation with a few pathetic “duhs” and a garbled “I’ll tell him.” This was Jackie, after all. Now, getting back to Kourtney’s closet. Remember, we’re not talking about a stingy armoire where she hangs her thrift store finds. This is more like an enchanted forest where vast acres of designer clothes grow wild and ready for

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | JULY 2022 | SCLIVING.COOP

harvesting. Take your pick of Prada boots, Manolo Blahnik sandals and Hermes Birkin bags that line shelves soaring 8 feet high, as far as the eye can see. If that were my closet, I might never cry again. Here’s the good news. The Jenndashians offer their fabulous fashions to peasants and commoners. You can buy the stuff they didn’t feel like folding at KardashianKloset.com, “the first luxury designer resale site.” Kourtney’s cadre of exotic, curvaceous, bronze-skinned social goddesses range from 5-foot-nothing to 5-foot-10, but somehow, they all morph into a size small. If you are ultra petite or invisible, you can find some bargains. Check this out: Tamara Mellon sandals for $395; a multicolor sweatshirt with lips on it for $275; lavender loungewear (aka pajamas) for $280; or basic brown wideleg pants for $580. The fancier stuff is over $1,000. Way over. A word of caution, though. This site is not for optimists who hope to lose five pounds (a few times) before they’ll fit into size Jenn-dashian. There are no refunds, returns or exchanges. If the clothes don’t fit, you’re stuck. And your closet may not be as nice a place to cry. is a pro resale shopper, but having never been a size 2, she’s not tempted to do anything dumb. (At least not in this closet.) Join the fun at HumorMe@SCLiving.com. We welcome peasants of all sizes.

JAN A. IGOE



Turn static files into dynamic content formats.

Create a flipbook
Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.