South Carolina Living March 2018

Growing strong

CHANGEOUT

Community gardens make good neighbors

SC SCE NE

When life hands you lemons, race ’em SC RECIPE

MARCH 2018

Regional favorites

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THE MAGAZINE FOR COOPERATIVE MEMBERS VOLUME 72 • NUMBER 3 (ISSN 0047-486X, USPS 316-240) Read in more than 584,000 homes and businesses and published monthly except in December by The Electric Cooperatives of South Carolina, Inc. 808 Knox Abbott Drive Cayce, SC 29033 Tel: (803) 926‑3175 Fax: (803) 796‑6064 Email: letters@scliving.coop

2018 | march 16 Common ground Community gardens produce healthy harvests and good neighbors.

EDITOR

Keith Phillips Tel: (803) 739‑3040 Email: Keith.Phillips@ecsc.org

4 CO-OP NEWS

FIELD EDITOR

Walter Allread

Updates from your cooperative

PUBLICATION COORDINATOR

Travis Ward

6 AGENDA

ART DIRECTOR

Watch cooperative line crews compete for top honors in the 2018 Lineworkers’ Rodeo. Plus: Celebrate the season at Historic Pendleton Spring Jubilee.

Sharri Harris Wolfgang DESIGNER

Susan Collins PRODUCTION

10 DIALOGUE A safe place for teens

Andrew Chapman WEB EDITOR

Chase Toler

West Columbia’s Brookland Baptist Church takes on the challenge of providing a place where adolescents can have fun and find their path to adulthood.

COPY EDITOR

L. Kim Welborn CONTRIBUTORS

Jayne Cannon, Mike Couick, Amy Dabbs, Jim Dulley, Tim Hanson, Jan A. Igoe, L.A. Jackson, Diane Veto Parham, Sydney Patterson, Belinda Smith-Sullivan

16

12 ENERGY Q&A Efficiency upgrades for bathrooms Learn the best options for boosting your home’s energy efficiency when remodeling bathrooms.

PUBLISHER

Lou Green ADVERTISING

Mary Watts Tel: (803) 739‑5074 Email: ads@scliving.coop

14 SMART CHOICE Clean up your act Get ready for a spring spruce-up with tools that make the job a breeze.

NATIONAL REPRESENTATION

American MainStreet Publications Tel: (800) 626‑1181 Paid advertisements are not endorsements by any electric cooperative or this publication. If you encounter a difficulty with an advertisement, inform the Editor.

21 STORIES School champion Chapin High School’s Akil Ross, 2018 National Principal of the Year, shares his passion for education.

ADDRESS CHANGES: Please send to your

local co-op. Postmaster: Send Form 3579 to Address Change, c/o the address above.

22

Periodicals postage paid at Columbia, S.C., and additional mailing offices.

28

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING is brought to you Price by your member-owned, taxpaying,

inform you about your cooperative, wise energy use and the faces and places

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❏ ANNUAL SUBSCRIPTIONS: $5.72 members,

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TRAVELS

Home of racing legends

RECIPE

Local favorites From Tennessee Spicy-Hot Chicken to Alabama Chicken‑Fried Steak, Chef Belinda shows you how to make regional food favorites in your own kitchen.

$8 nonmembers

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Take a lap around the National Steeplechase Museum to explore South Carolina’s role in the rich history of horse racing.

not-for-profit electric cooperative to ❏

Logo that & identify the Palmetto State. Electric cooperatives are South Carolina’s — and Address America’s — largest utility network.

Drivers, start your lemons!

Fasten your seatbelt and bring a sense of humor to South Carolina’s loopiest endurance races.

© COPYRIGHT 2018. The Electric Cooperatives

of South Carolina, Inc. No portion of South Carolina Living may be reproduced without permission of the Editor.

SCENE

30

MARKETPLACE CALENDAR HUMOR ME Growing strong

What Disney forgot to mention Former princess-in-training Jan Igoe reveals all the ways a royal wedding may disappoint a Southern belle.

❏ Member of the AMP network reaching more than 9 million homes and businesses

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PHOTOS, FRO M TO P : RUTA SM ITH , M I LTON MORRIS, G I N A MOORE

101⁄2 13

103⁄4

Community gardens make good neighbors

SC SCE NE

When life hands you lemons, race ’em SC RECIPE

Regional favorites

MARCH 2018

Yellow Snipe

Christine Cotton of Charleston harvests fall vegetables at Magnolia Park and Community Garden.

Photo by Ruta Smith.

SC | agenda Investing in South Carolina’s future The S.C. Power Team is an industrial recruitment partnership governed by the Palmetto State’s 20 electric cooperatives. Designed to spur new investment and job growth in co‑op-served com‑ munities, the organization helps facilitate the develop‑ ment of industrial sites and shell buildings while ensuring businesses have the safe, reliable and affordable power they need to operate efficiently. Good news: The Power Team had a stellar year in 2017.

$1.61 billion New capital investments announced in co-op territories in 2017.

5,363 New jobs announced by businesses locating and investing in co-op-served communities.

31 New businesses added to the co‑op system in 2017.

SOURCE: S.C. POWER TEAM

6

Top-of-the-line competition MAYBE YOU’VE WITNESSED

electric-utility lineworkers in action during an emergency, doing impressive work with specialized equipment and at great heights to restore your electricity. For a fun way to see them really shine, be there when they compete against their colleagues March 17 at the 21st annual Line​workers’ Rodeo at HorryGeorgetown Technical College in Conway.

Spectators can watch well-trained lineworkers showcase their skills in a safe and fun environment.

This family-friendly event provides a chance for spectators to watch well-trained lineworkers showcase their skills in a safe and fun environment. As individuals or as three-person teams, lineworkers will compete in events that test their expertise and agility. The rodeo builds camaraderie among lineworkers and improves their skills in safety, teamwork and productivity, says event coordinator Nick Adams, senior loss control training director for The Electric Cooperatives of South Carolina.

Competition in the rodeo is open to qualified, practicing lineworkers from any of South Carolina’s 20

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | MARCH 2018 | SCLIVING.COOP

SA NTEE COO PER

BY THE NUMBERS

electric cooperatives or from Santee Cooper.

“It’s a point of pride—pride in your work, pride in your co-op and pride in competing,” Adams says. “It’s also a good training tool, especially

for climbing. And, it’s fun.”

Activities start bright and early with the opening ceremony at 8 a.m., including a special flag-raising ceremony that features lineworkers from each participating utility climbing a pole to mount a flag at the top together.

Competition is divided into two divisions—Apprentice, for individual competitors with less than four years’ line experience, and Journeyman, for three-person teams of two climbers and one groundman. Each division completes five events—among them, a pole-top hurt-worker rescue and an obstacle course— and winners are determined based on points earned by meeting the judges’ criteria in all events.

Food trucks and kidfriendly activities, ­including bucket-truck rides, will be available for spectators.

This year’s event is ­sponsored by The ­Electric Cooperatives of South ­Caro­lina, Santee Cooper and Horry-Georgetown Technical College. For information, visit ecsc.org/rodeo, call (704) 215‑8808 or email nick.adams@ecsc.org.

—DIANE VETO PARHAM

ONLY ON SCLiving.coop Cast-iron cleaning Don’t shy away from cooking with your cast-iron skillet just because it’s hard to clean. Chef Belinda has a surefire cleanup solution at SCLiving.coop/food/ chefbelinda

Commercial daylily growers, including Fairfield Electric Cooperative member Peggy Jeffcoat, share their secrets for coaxing the best blooms from this hardy garden favorite. Plus: Don’t miss SC Gardener columnist L.A. Jackson’s best seasonal tips in the Home & Garden section of SCLiving.coop.

Barrie J. Clark’s Ecto-1 replica.

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

Who you gonna call?

I was very happy to see the article on Dr. Phillip Latham and his replica Batmobiles (SC Stories, January 2018) in South Carolina Living. It’s nice to know there’s someone else out there with a passion for movie-prop cars.

I have a replica of Ecto-1 from the 1984 movie Ghostbusters that I use for charity events and patient visits at Levine Children’s Hospital in Charlotte. Could you pass on my details to the good doctor, so we can exchange information?

BARRIE J. CLARK, YORK ELECTRIC COOPERATIVE MEMBER

EDITOR’S NOTE: We were able to put Clark in touch with Latham, and now we’re waiting to see what these guys might build next.

The sleek Mach 5 from Speed Racer, perhaps? Maybe a Back to the Future DeLorean or KITT, the talking car from Knight Rider?

For more on Clark’s Ecto-1 project, visit SCLiving.coop.

L . A . JACKSO N

BA RRI E J. C L A RK

Flower power

Register to win $100

Relish the radish, part 2 I appreciate the information and research L.A. Jackson put into his recent article “Relish the Radish” (SC Gardener, February 2018).

I have always enjoyed growing radishes but never knew they had edible leaves! Who would have imagined that? I never realized that they could be planted in February and that doing so would moderate their spunky flavor. Thanks for the advice and a new opportunity to satisfy that impossible-to-ignore itch to “get my hands dirty.”

MATTHEW SMITH, MID-CAROLINA ELECTRIC COOPERATIVE MEMBER

In spring and summer months, set your ceiling fans to turn in the counter­ clockwise direction. This will create a cool breeze.

Remember: Ceiling fans cool people, not rooms. Turn them off when you leave the room. SOURCE: ENERGYSTAR.GOV

Put some spring in your step and some cash in your pocket with this month’s Reader Reply Travel Sweepstakes. Register online at SCLiving.coop/reader-reply for your chance to win a $100 Visa gift card. We’ll draw the names of two lucky readers from all eligible entries received by March 31.

Like us on Facebook If you love South Carolina, follow South Carolina Living on Facebook, where we celebrate all that’s great about the Palmetto State.

Add your voice to the conversation and share your photos at facebook.com/SouthCarolinaLiving.

GONE FISHIN’ The Vektor Fish & Game Forecast provides feeding and migration times. Major periods can bracket the peak by an hour. Minor peaks, ½ hour before and after.

Minor

AM Major

Minor

PM Major

MARCH 16 — 17 6:31 18 6:46 19 1:01 20 1:31 21 2:16 22 2:46 23 3:46 24 10:01 25 8:46 26 9:31 27 10:01 28 10:46 29 11:16 30 5:46 31 6:16

Minor

AM Major

Minor

PM Major

APRIL 6:01 12:01 12:31 7:01 7:31 7:46 8:16 8:46 1:46 3:16 4:01 4:31 5:01 5:16 11:46 12:01

12:01 6:16 7:01 7:46 8:46 10:01 11:31 — — 12:31 2:16 3:31 4:16 5:01 — 6:31

5:46 12:31 1:01 1:31 2:16 3:01 3:46 5:16 6:46 8:16 9:16 10:01 10:46 11:31 5:46 12:16

1 6:31 12:31 7:16 1:01 2 1:01 6:46 8:01 1:31 3 1:31 7:16 8:46 2:01 4 2:01 7:31 9:46 2:46 5 2:16 7:46 11:31 3:31 6 2:46 8:01 — 4:16 7 2:31 8:01 — 5:46 8 — 3:16 — 7:16 9 9:46 3:31 12:46 8:16 10 9:46 3:46 2:31 9:16 11 10:16 4:16 3:31 9:46 12 10:31 4:31 4:16 10:31 13 4:46 11:01 5:01 11:01 14 5:16 11:31 11:31 5:46 15 — 5:31 6:31 12:01 16 12:16 6:01 7:16 12:31

SCLIVING.COOP | MARCH 2018 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

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SC agenda HIGHLIGHTS MARCH 15–APRIL 15

SPRINGSKUNK MUSIC FEST APRIL 12–14

HISTORIC PENDLETON SPRING JUBILEE

(864) 646-3782; facebook.com/ SpringJubileeFestival

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albinoskunk.com COME-SEE-ME FESTIVAL APRIL 12–21 LE A DED G L A SS BY DEB I DW Y ER

Say hello to spring with the town of Pendleton, which celebrates the season with the Upstate’s oldest juried arts and crafts festival, featuring 100 invited artisans from around the country.

The two-day ­celebration fills the Village Green with music, Scottish Highland dancers, and other entertainment, along with historic walking tours and carriage rides around downtown.

C

APRIL 7–8

Known as SkunkFest to regular attendees, this annual music celebration showcases a mixed bag of acoustic performers in an outdoor setting at Skunk Farm near Greer. Park for the day or camp overnight to enjoy music from zydeco band BeauSoleil avec Michael Doucet, upand-coming indie singer/songwriter Aaron Lee Tasjan, bluegrass quartet The Goodbye Girls and many more.

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | MARCH 2018 | SCLIVING.COOP

What to do in Rock Hill? Come find out during this 10-day festival, with nearly 80 events and ­activities taking visitors to sites all over town. Start with a 1980s-themed evening parade on April 12, and follow up with the Gourmet Gardens food market in its new location at Winthrop Farm, entertainment at Glencairn Garden, Hops at the Park at Winthrop Lake, the Mayor’s Frog Jump, a Beach Bash and plenty more.

(803) 329-7625; comeseeme.org

AD VERTISEMENT ADVERTISEMENT

Problem: Litter. Solution? Volunteers like you.

South Carolina’s natural beauty and the friendly nature make the state a popular travel destination, as well as, a great place to put down roots. The Palmetto State is now home to more than 5 million residents, and while our growing population and booming tourism industry create positive opportunities for businesses and developers, it also creates a problem that is the central focus of PalmettoPride: litter.

Much of the litter we see daily is unintentional, items flying out of unsecured loads from personal vehicles or from the backs of commercial trucks. However, some of it is intentional—cigarette butts and fast-food bags tossed carelessly from car windows.

Our state’s population explosion has brought with it an increase in construction and traffic that makes roadside maintenance, including litter pickup, difficult. As a state that shies away from tax increases, public resources to

“Go out and make a difference in your community.

You don’t need endless time and perfect conditions. Do it now. Do it today. Do it for twenty minutes and watch your heart start beating.”

— Barbara Sher clean up litter are spread thin. Our roadways have seen better days, and many have so much litter piled up that they look like landfills. Without regular upkeep, this will become the new norm in South Carolina.

In recent years, we have seen the development of county-wide litter task forces to combat the overwhelming amount of litter, and even more overwhelming amount of complaints we hear from citizens. To solve this problem, we need every South Carolinian to do their part to prevent—and clean up—litter.

PalmettoPride is working with state agencies to

Have you noticed certain business districts in South Carolina have very little visible litter?

Take a look around at The Riverbanks Zoo & Garden, Kiawah Island Golf Resort or at events like the South Carolina State Fair. You will notice that it takes a team of people constantly patrolling and picking up trash to keep the area litter-free.

To protect our tourist-driven economy, it is crucial our Chambers of Commerce and economic development leaders get involved in pickup efforts.

Adopt the area around business properties and support local programs both financially and with manpower. Small efforts make a big impact.

improve litterremoval efforts, but citizen participation is vital. We need more volunteers across this state.

This month, we’re launching the Great American Cleanup campaign in South Carolina and asking you to join us. There are a number of ways you can help, from hosting your own cleanup project to creating a Clean Team in your neighborhood, or by joining Adopt-AHighway.

Our ultimate goal is to prevent litter, not pick it up. But we are at a place where litter collection must be a priority.

We know that change won’t happen overnight, but making small changes today can lead to great results, and a litter-free South Carolina.

For more information on the Great American Cleanup or ways for you to get involved in your area, visit PalmettoPride’s website at www.palmettopride.org or call 877.PAL.PRDE.

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SC dialogue

A safe place for teens

MIKE COUICK

President and CEO, The Electric Cooperatives of South Carolina

10

be able to say, ‘Let’s go over to Brookland Baptist.

HANGING OUT AFTER THE BALL GAME is a rite of They have a cafe, they have a lounge, outdoor passage for every American teen. It’s a time to dining, and they have some things that are very rehash the game, joke around with friends and attractive,’” says Jackson. make the kinds of memories that last a lifetime.

Adolescence is a time when the stakes are espeBut finding a fun and safe place to hang out can be tricky. Negotiating the balance between cially high and when the world tends to leave security and independence has never been young people “lost in the cracks.” Teens are often easy, and it seems to get more complicated with left to find their own way, and even if they posture every generation. For teens who just want more and pose like they’re ready for what’s next, they freedom—and parents who just want their kids to need guidance. Connecting the generations and giving young people a vision for their future, the come home in one piece—it’s a continual struggle.

Learning Center will be staffed with ministers, At Brookland Baptist Church in West Columbia, including the Rev. Nicky Wilson, it’s a struggle the Rev. Charles director of Brookland Baptist’s Jackson has taken head-on. In It will be a place where Youth, Teens and Young Adult the aftermath of a teen’s tragic death in a post-game shootyoung people can enjoy Ministry.

Jackson has a vision that is ing at a fast-food restaurant, each other’s company about more than just fun. In Jackson decided to create the addition to the Fifth Quarter kind of safe space students outside of the watchful Cafe, the center will offer afterneed—a place where spiritual school programs to empower shepherds can work with young eyes of parents—but still young adults and help prepare people, helping them navigate within a safe and secure them for college and careers. the turbulent life changes of After 46 years in the pulpit, adolescence. environment. he is dedicating his remaining Last fall, the Brookland years to leading the teenagers Baptist congregation agreed to in his church community as they become the next build what will become the hangout spot teens generation of shepherds. crave. Inside the new Teen and Young Adult Construction on the Teen and Young Adult Christian Learning Center, Jackson envisions the Christian Learning Center is scheduled to begin in Fifth Quarter Cafe, a space open to all teens in the Summer 2018, with plans to open at the start of community. It will be a place where young people the school year in 2019. can grab something to eat, play games, watch TV Choosing to live in a world of hope instead of and enjoy each other’s company outside of the despair, Jackson is applying the wisdom earned watchful eyes of parents—but still within a safe during a lifetime of serving others, and by recogand secure environment.

For teens who need somewhere to go, this will nizing the importance of showing love in a tangible be a place where they can settle in and be themway, his congregation at New Brookland Baptist Church is providing solutions that will benefit genselves. During a transitional time of life that is often unstable and confusing, the Fifth Quarter erations yet to come.

Cafe will be a refuge where they can catch their breath, connect with friends and caring adults and just have fun.

“On Friday nights after athletic events, they will

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | MARCH 2018 | SCLIVING.COOP

The RBC Heritage presented by Boeing made a promise 10 years ago to power every drive, chip and putt with 100 percent Green Power, which is made from clean, renewable energy sources right here in South Carolina. That’s a powerful commitment to the state and to the environment.

Palmetto Electric Cooperative and Santee Cooper are dedicated partners in that promise. Santee Cooper generates Green Power to run the RBC Heritage, South Carolina’s only PGA Tour golf tournament, and Palmetto Electric delivers that power to the event. Together, we’re making a difference.

Green Power can change the way we all live, work and play.

For more insight and to sign up, visit SCGreenPower.com.

The RBC Heritage is held April 9 – 15 at Hilton Head Island’s Harbour Town. Learn more by visiting RBCHeritage.com.

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SC energy Q&A

Efficiency upgrades for bathrooms

BY JIM DULLEY

A

Bathrooms can be responsible for a significant share of your home’s monthly utility bills, and a remodeling project is the perfect time to make upgrades that will reduce the energy needed to heat water and power lights, fans and all the appliances we’ve come to expect in a modern home.

Since people normally associate a bathroom with water usage, let’s start there. Flushing a toilet is the major coldwater consumer in most bathrooms, and the toilet typically is replaced when remodeling. During winter, all the cold water that comes indoors when the toilet

GET MORE For more remodeling tips, see these articles at SCLiving.coop/energy.

Water heater efficiency and maintenance. Our energy experts offer advice on repairing and replacing your home water heater to maximize energy savings.

Quiet, efficient bathroom vent fans.

Learn how simple it is to replace a noisy, inefficient bathroom vent fan.

Remodeling tips for an efficient kitchen.

Upgrade to energy-efficient appliances during your kitchen remodeling project and reap savings year after year.

Give your house an energy upgrade.

When it’s time to renovate, consider replacing HVAC systems and major appliances for maximum energy savings.

12

A M ERIC A N STA N DA RD

Q

I plan to remodel and modernize my bathrooms.

What steps should I consider to make them more energy efficient in the process?

When remodeling a bathroom, look for ways to improve energy efficiency along with the aesthetics and features.

is flushed draws heat from the house as the water in the tank warms up. This can be a significant hidden energy loss.

The maximum water usage allowed for new toilets is 1.6 gpf (gallons per flush). Most major plumbing-fixture manufacturers also offer 1.28-gpf superefficient standard-flush and dual-flush models. Since fewer of these super-­ efficient toilet styles are available, select the toilet first and then match the other fixtures to it.

Showerhead design impacts both coldand hot-water consumption. The maximum water flow rate is 2.5 gpm (gallons per minute) for showerheads, but some low-flow showerheads use half this much.

If you have tried older low-flow showerheads and were dissatisfied, the new ones provide a more forceful shower.

Much hot and cold water is wasted trying to get the shower temperature where you want it. If there’s room in your budget, consider manual or electronic shower valves that allow the user to set a precise temperature. The correct temperature is reached quickly with less water wasted down the drain.

If it takes longer than 30 seconds to get hot water to the shower or sink, you could be wasting as much as two gallons of water every time you turn on the tap.

Handy homeowners can easily install a do-it-yourself hot-water recirculating kit underneath the sink. When hot water is needed, a high-volume pump draws it quickly to the faucet, reducing waste.

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | MARCH 2018 | SCLIVING.COOP

Bathroom heating is another energy consideration because you want the heat quickly, but only for a brief period.

A simple 120-volt or more powerful 240‑volt radiant heater can make you feel comfortably warm after a shower or bath without having to heat all the air in the bathroom.

Radiant floor or wall heating is an appropriate choice for spot heating on cold winter days. Decorative or mirrored radiant wall heating panels warm up and produce heat quickly, so they are ideal for unplanned times in the bathroom. Electric infloor radiant heat is very comfortable for a bathroom and easy to install under tile. Since it takes somewhat longer to warm up, put it on a timer for typical bathroom usage times.

A high-quality bathroom vent fan with humidity- or motion-sensing controls is an efficient and affordable option for most bathroom renovation projects. It runs only as long as it is needed so excessive indoor air is not sucked from your house.

Select a vent fan with a light fixture and install efficient LED bulbs for general lighting. I would also consider an adjustable multi-LED lighting fixture with daylight and high-CRI (color rendition index) LED bulbs to show truer colors. These fixtures can be particularly useful for applying makeup and shaving.

Send questions to Energy Q&A, South Carolina Living, 808 Knox Abbott Drive, Cayce, SC 29033, email energyqa@scliving.coop.

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SC smart choice

Clean up your act Get ready for a spring spruce-up with tools that make the job a breeze. BY JAYNE CANNON

FULL STEAM AHEAD

Some cleaning jobs need more elbow grease than others. For the really tough tasks—grimy grout, caked-on grease and more—the McCulloch Heavy-Duty Portable Steam Cleaner uses high-powered jets of steam to clear it all away. Eighteen included attachments help tackle just about any job. $140. (800) 466‑3337; homedepot.com.

CLEAN SWEEP

If you have pets or allergies, ­vacuuming every day is a must. But who has time? With a Neato Botvac D5 Connected Navigating Robot Vacuum, you can clean your floors while you sleep, while you shop, or while you binge-watch TV. Just control it from your smartphone. It recharges all by itself, too. $540. (888) 280‑4331; amazon.com.

LITTLE STAIN FIGHTER

Spills and stains are part of life, but they’re especially annoying when they collide with your carpets. When that happens, the Bissell Little Green Multi-Purpose Deep Cleaner is your new best friend. Don’t let the machine’s compact size fool you—it tackles both big and small stains. $100.

(888) 280‑4331; amazon.com.

CLEAN SLEEP

Your sheets are crisp and clean, but what about your mattress? The Dyson V6 Mattress vacuum has the solution. It’s designed to clean your mattress of all the allergens you can’t see and don’t want to think about. But, you’re not limited to mattresses—use this vacuum on upholstery or, with its dusting attachment, hard surfaces. $250. (866) 693‑9766; dyson.com.

UNDER PRESSURE

Cleaning is not just an inside job. All winter, your siding, windows and sidewalks have been attacked by the elements. Fight back with the Sun Joe Electric Pressure Washer, a portable cleaner that uses water, a wand, two detergent tanks and five different spray nozzles to make it all sparkle again. $153. (800) 466‑3337; homedepot.com.

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SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | MARCH 2018 | SCLIVING.COOP

PET PROJECT

Many of us just can’t live without our furry friends. But, we could sure live without the fur they leave all over the house. Enter the Shark Rotator Powered LiftAway Vacuum. The Shark’s True Pet mini motorhead brush attacks that left-behind fur like … well, a shark. $300. (800) 462‑3966; bedbathandbeyond.com.

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VEGGIE MAGIC Leslie Wade, manager of Charleston’s Magnolia garden, displays a bounty that will be donated to a local homeless shelter.

COMMON GROUND 16

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | MARCH 2018 | SCLIVING.COOP

Community gardens produce healthy harvests and good neighbors

BY AMY L. DABBS | PHOTOS BY RUTA SMITH

I

t’s a warmer-than-normal morning in early November, and the last drops of dew are just drying on the leafy vegetables in Magnolia Park and Community Garden.

Eight volunteers, outfitted with work gloves, widebrimmed hats and garden shears, stand ready to tackle today’s chores.

Surrounded by dozens of raised-bed gardens bursting with cool-season crops, the volunteers watch and listen intently as garden manager Leslie Wade demonstrates how to harvest Asian greens. This harvest, along with produce from 14 other garden beds, will be donated today to a homeless shelter in downtown Charleston.

Tucked in a neighborhood just west of the Ashley River, the Magnolia community garden is part of the Charleston Parks Conservancy’s Community Gardening Program. Not only do nearby residents grow their own food here, this garden also produces and donates more than 2,400 pounds of fresh produce annually to those in need.

Wade manages the volunteers, as well as the garden that serves as a place to connect with fellow gardeners. “Really, we’re a little family,” she says of this tight-knit bunch.

The scene on this bright morning may seem idyllic, but it is clear the thriving, sustainable garden is the result of a wellorganized group with experienced gardeners at the helm.

The three-part philosophy that guides them is marked on a blackboard above a ­produce-washing sink on-site: Learn to garden naturally. Work with your neighbors. Give back to your community.

A growing trend Food gardening is part of a huge national trend, and community gardens are a growing part of the movement.

The National Gardening Association’s “Garden to Table” study found that between 2008 and 2013, participation in

community gardens grew by 2 million households—a 200 percent increase in just five years. Millennials contribute as one of the fastest-growing groups of food gardeners, and gardeners over the age of 55 are also steadily on the rise.

The crew gathered at Magnolia garden is a mix that includes young moms and retirees, some with kids and dogs in tow. During this scheduled workday, Wade assigns them various chores. Some sow seeds of cool-­season crops in a nearby greenhouse; others wash freshly harvested kohlrabi in the tub-sized sink. Several are filling baskets with herbs and greens for the shelter.

“It’s very therapeutic,” volunteer Jennifer Clayton says.

Along with helping on garden workdays, Clayton leases her own plot in the garden with a friend and enjoys occasional gardening classes here.

Community gardens vary, but generally, they are gardens that are collectively tended by a group of people, and they can be found in urban, suburban and rural areas.

Neighborhoods, community centers, churches, schools and food banks are common locations for community gardens.

Often, the land is subdivided into plots, but it may be one large garden shared by many. Some gardens donate all harvests to people in need, while others let gardeners keep what they grow to feed their own families. Some, like Magnolia garden, are a hybrid.

A desire to help is common among the volunteers at Magnolia, which regularly surpasses its annual goal of raising 1,500 pounds of produce to donate. “People often drive by the garden and stop in to say, ‘Hey, I want to be a part of the community; I want to give back,’ ” Wade says. “Some folks volunteer for one or two years before they even join the waiting list for their own garden beds.”

While every garden is as different as the people who work it, there are key steps to take before planting the first seed.

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COMMON GROUND

Nine years ago, Steve Degnen had just retired and was looking for a volunteer opportunity in his new neighborhood, called I’On, in Mount Pleasant. He wanted to start a community garden.

“I’On had many established clubs and events, but most broke down into special-interest groups based on age, with or without kids, work or retired, et cetera,” Degnen says. “I saw an opportunity to create a neighborhood amenity that would join people together, foster new friendships, and focus on the environment and better health.”

Degnen met some initial resistance from neighbors who believed a community garden would lower their real-estate values. Undeterred, he and a few interested neighbors built three small raised beds as a pilot project, then polled the community to see who else liked the idea. Meanwhile, he says, “I contacted community gardens across the country and gained an understanding of best demonstrated practices.”

His research paid off. Using what he learned, Degnen delivered a presentation to the I’On homeowners’ ­association, complete with detailed development costs, layout design, a 3,000-foot land request in a community park, access to a water supply and initial funding for 30 raised beds. The HOA granted $7,500, and Degnen’s volunteer group completed the project under budget. Since then, the garden has been self-sustaining, using dues of $50 per year from community gardeners to stay in production. More than 500 gardeners have participated.

The I’On Community Garden opens its application process each New Year’s Eve and sells out within days. In his pitch to interested gardeners, Degnen says that, in exchange for that $50 fee, they’ll get a 5-foot-by-8-foot garden plot, access to Master Gardeners who’ll provide expert advice, a startup kit with planting guidelines, helpful hints and links, a beautiful sunny location, a chance to eat fresh, healthy foods right from the garden, mulched paths around each plot for easy access,

‘We expect gardeners ROOTING OUT TROUBLE Steve Degnen (left) overcame initial resistance from some Mount Pleasant neighbors to found the nowthriving I’On Community Garden.

M IC S M ITH

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GARDEN SCENERY Personal touches are encouraged at Magnolia Park and Community Garden (previous spread and right).

Fran Hummel (far right) of Charleston is a master gardener who volunteers at Magnolia.

watering hoses available on location and a perimeter fence to keep out small critters.

At Magnolia garden, 4-foot-by-8-foot raised beds also lease for $50 per year. Charleston Parks Conservancy supplies access to water, compost twice a year for top-dressing beds, and Wade, a trained horticulturist, who is there to offer guidance and support to anyone who needs it.

Leader of the patch No matter how small the community garden, committed organizers need to map out the details, such as the application process, space assignments, and who will pay for water, seeds and soil amendments.

“I have people contact me constantly about setting up community gardens,” Wade says. “The first thing I tell them: Make sure you have community support. If you don’t have at least 15 people already engaged, there is no point in continuing.”

And, every garden needs a leader, someone who can be a champion for the garden and the key to its success. This person serves as its administrator, someone who is not above

watering, weeding and enforcing rules for the common good, when necessary.

Maintenance and upkeep, including weeding, timely harvests and removal of garden debris, often top a list of rules.

An attractive garden ensures curb appeal and keeps other neighbors happy. While most community gardens leave crop selection to individual gardeners, some have rules like I’On’s that advise gardeners to use plants or stakes to corral plants inside their boundaries and avoid shading out neighbors’ beds.

Summer vacations can lead to neglected gardens, so garden organizers suggest finding a “garden sitter” during extended absences. Sometimes, leaders specify how long a garden may go unattended before it’s forfeited and reassigned. Pets can cause damage, so they may be banned. But, community gardens are family friendly; most, like I’On, welcome supervised children.

At Magnolia, one of the posted rules is a reminder to harvest only from beds that are your own or are labeled as public. And, Wade says, “We expect gardeners to grow something year-round in this climate; otherwise, they have to give

to grow something year-round in this climate.’

—LESLIE WADE OF CHARLESTON PARKS CONSERVANCY AND MANAGER OF THE MAGNOLIA PARK AND COMMUNITY GARDEN

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M IC SM ITH

‘While gardening is rewarding, it isn’t easy.’

—I’ON COMMUNITY GARDEN FOUNDER STEVE DEGNEN

up their space.” Her emails and Facebook posts suggest crops gardeners might like to try next.

“While gardening is rewarding, it isn’t easy,” Degnen says. “People who want to start a community garden need to be real­istic. Volunteers wear out. Weeds, drought, blazing-hot South Carolina summers and hurricanes do good gardeners in.”

Growing conditions For those just getting started with a community garden, the American Community Gardening Association (communitygarden.org) offers helpful resources on its website, including customizable, sample community-garden contracts, tips for local advocacy and step-by-step guides for successful community gardens. Both Magnolia and I’On also take advantage of area Clemson Master Gardener volunteers to provide advice and technical support for community members who are learning to garden.

Selecting a good location means finding a site with at least eight hours of sun each day. Vegetables need lots of water, so if no water source exists, adding one may be a costly step the group will need to consider. “Water is critical,” Wade says. “A storage shed for tools is convenient, but water and full sun are absolutely key.”

Vegetables also require well-drained soil. Raised beds can help, but no one wants to wade through muddy, soggy conditions to get to the garden. Mulched paths wide enough for two people to pass help keep weeds down around beds and improve safety for gardeners.

Raised beds help overcome other common obstacles to success by saving space, improving drainage and making use GET MORE Need some tips for starting a community garden in your area? Check out these resources: The American Community Gardening Association has a resources page with tips for gardeners, how-to manuals and sample documents for those just getting started at communitygarden.org/resources/category/ community-garden-management/.

Clemson Cooperative Extension offers a guide called “Starting a Community Garden” at clemson.edu/extension/hgic/plants/vegetables/gardening/ extension_community_gardening.pdf.

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of sites with poor soil. Communities often prefer them as more attractive than conventional tilled gardens. And, they’re easier to maintain without mechanized equipment—a critical factor for keeping volunteers engaged.

“I’ve seen gardeners get really aggravated by lack of boundaries in a large, tilled community garden, and the weeds can be overwhelming,” Wade says.

The ideal width for each bed is 3 to 4 feet— easy to reach the center of the bed. Length can vary, but they should be short enough for gardeners to access both sides without a lot of extra steps. And, Wade notes, “Raised beds keep community gardens accessible to everyone, regardless of their physical abilities.”

Nearby parking and easy access to vehicles—for unloading supplies and for loading the harvest—are also helpful considerations.

PASSING THE SHOVEL April Gordon has taken over the role of coordinator from Steve Degnen at I’On Community Garden.

Bob O’Brien (above right), a Magnolia volunteer and gardener, finds serenity in the garden.

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | MARCH 2018 | SCLIVING.COOP

More than vegetables During Magnolia’s morning workday, several young mothers with busy toddlers gathered around a children’s garden bed set aside for little ones to grow their own plants. The families planted seeds, pulled weeds and used a watering can to water seedlings. A little girl came upon a swallowtail caterpillar on a fennel plant, and the grown-up gardeners nearby marveled over her discovery with her.

As he watered plants in the two raised beds he leases at Magnolia, lifelong gardener Bob O’Brien recalled teaching his children to garden years ago in a patch he set aside for them in his home garden. Now, his daughter runs a one-acre, nonprofit donation garden in New Jersey. Community gardens, he says, are about much more than growing vegetables.

“This garden has enhanced the community,” says O’Brien, who harvested more than 60 pounds of sweet potatoes from his Magnolia plot last year. “People come here to sit and walk around. They are finding a much-needed sense of serenity.”

At the end of each growing season, Degnen says, he hopes gardeners “look back on the gardening season and think about all of the good times they had, how fresh food tastes so much better, what they learned and friends they made. And, hopefully start thinking about signing up for next year.”

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SC stories

School champion Strolling through a sea of students in Chapin High School’s hallways, Dr. Akil Ross wears a wide grin. The former college linebacker is a charismatic presence, fist-bumping and high-fiving students, greeting many by name, trading jests with a booming laugh.

Some days, he moves his desk into the hall, just to get closer to the people who populate his school. “There’s an energy here,” Ross says. “I love learning what they’re passionate about!”

Under his leadership, Chapin’s graduation rate climbed to a high of 96 percent in 2016. Every year he’s been principal, Chapin has won state championships and awards. To Ross, however, his 2018 National Principal of the Year award recognized something better.

“Our story wasn’t about test scores, graduation rate or some new academic program,” he says. “Our story was about improving the social and emotional health of kids—how we can empower kids to be resilient.”

Ross knows about resilience. He grew up in a rough section of Washington, D.C., losing a friend to gun violence in sixth grade. He struggled academically after his parents split up, getting back on track with the help of a no-nonsense teacher who demanded his best efforts.

His motto for the school—“A thousand passions, one heartbeat”— sums up what he and his staff do: “It’s about recognizing the unique and individual passions of each child. One heartbeat is that, together, we bring these out, and we’re connected in a community of people who care about each other.” —DIANE VETO PARHAM, PHOTO BY MILTON MORRIS

Dr. Akil Ross HOMETOWN:

in Columbia AGE: 38

Born and raised in Washington, D.C.; now lives

Principal of Chapin High School; 2018 National Principal of the Year, awarded by National Association of Secondary School Principals EDUCATION: Bachelor’s degree from Duke University; master’s and doctoral degrees from University of South Carolina AT HOME: Married to Jocelyn Ross, whom he met when they were kids in vacation Bible school; father to Alyssa, 8, and A.J., 4 HUMBLING MOMENT: After winning his award, Ross got a phone call from his wife as he drove to a school event. “I thought it was going to be ‘Congratulations! You’re National Principal of the Year!’ And she was like, ‘You left the dishes in the sink.’ ” CLAIM TO FAME:

SCLIVING.COOP | MARCH 2018 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

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SC scene

, s r t r e a v t i r s D

r u yo lemons!

A

few minutes before 11 a.m. on race-weekend Sunday, drivers in the 24 Hours of Lemons fall endurance race at Carolina Motorsports Park pulled off the winding, 2.3‑mile circuit and cut their engines. It was time for church, after all, and nobody wanted to disturb the faithful as they gathered at the area’s houses of worship.

The teams, now in their second day of racing, used the mandatory stop to check tires, brakes, engine fluids and whatever else needed tending. And, heaven knows, many things needed tending. These were some of the most frightening, ­unroadworthy vehicles on the planet.

In sharp, deliberate contrast to the multimillion-­dollar investments in Formula One racing and NASCAR, Lemons drivers are prohibited from spending more than $500 on their vehicles—brakes, tires and safety equipment excluded. Track manager David Watkins, who used to drive the race, found his

first Lemons car abandoned in a field with cornstalks growing through the windows and small animals living in what was left of the front seat.

Even without laying eyes on the outlandish cars that populate the track, the names of the race teams—Cockroach Racing, Terminally Confused, Loose Lugnut Racing, Ratfink, Cheap Saloon Racing, Radioactive Racing and Our Lady of Perpetual Downforce— signal the good humor and creative irreverence that unite Lemons drivers across the country as a tribe unto themselves.

The founder of that tribe is former motorsports journalist John “Jay” Lamm, who more than a decade ago found himself profoundly annoyed at the expensive, stuffy and humorless world of racing.

What would happen, Lamm wondered, if he organized a race called 24 Hours of Lemons (a pun combining the disparaging term for a defective car and a takeoff on the legendary 24-hour endurance race in Le Mans, France), in which

e Lemons Festivities at th LEMON LINEUP and include a parade South Fall race n. de m Ca n wntow block party in do

22

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | MARCH 2018 | SCLIVING.COOP

BY TIM HANSON

ra

PHOTOS BY MILTON MORRIS

ces

r to South Ca o m roli hu r seatbelt and b f u o o na’ y e ring a sens n e t s loo e s Fa piest enduranc In on the joke

LEMON ZEST Jerry Sprink le (ab face” on as Theorectical Rac ove left) gets his “race ing crewmember Thomas Morris gives the car a fina l inspection. Their Ford Tau rus, adorned with Clemson Tig er Paws, is a proven machin e that delivered two, top-5 performances in 2017.

the cars were really cheap and the race was really long?

Well, he knew what would happen: The cars would inevitably lose a wheel, or the engine would overheat, or some terrifying noise would force a pit stop. Faced with these and other unforeseen problems, drivers would be forced to come up with creative solutions to get their cars back on the track. Along the way, they would rediscover that racing was supposed to be fun.

Lamm intended to stage his humorous protest race only once, near his home in California, with a dozen or so friends.

But, a second Lemons race followed, then a third, and the idea took off. Since then, more than 200 Lemons events have been held around the country. In South Carolina, two Lemons races—the Southern Discomfort in April and Lemons South Fall in September—are held each year at Carolina Motorsports Park near Kershaw.

The races typically attract 100 or more race teams and a crowd of curious spectators who revel in this irreverent and unconventional form of motorsports.

“Nobody comes to this event who is just a normal, boring person,” Lamm said. “Those people go elsewhere.”

Justin Sprinkle always loved racing, but it wasn’t until six or seven years ago that he learned about 24 Hours of Lemons and talked his father, Jerry, and two of his childhood friends—Thomas Morris and Jamie Owens—into forming a team. They called themselves Theorectical Racing (no, that’s not a typo) and adopted a 1982 Nissan 280Z. “It was like driving a dogsled,” Sprinkle said. “We spent more time working on that car than we actually raced, but it was a lot of fun.”

The team eventually scrapped the Nissan and picked up a 1979 Toyota Celica, which, in hindsight, wasn’t much of an improvement. Sprinkle casually noted that it was “notorious for catching on fire.”

At the 2017 Lemons South Fall race, the guys brought a Ford Taurus SHO painted white and orange, with a giant Clemson Tiger Paw stamped on the hood and the number 38 emblazoned on its doors. In that year’s spring race, the car placed fifth out of more than 100 cars, leaving Sprinkle confident his team could win.

Equally confident about his team’s chances, Jim Poston, captain of Irritable Dad Syndrome Racing, supervised a pre-race check on his 1994 Mazda Miata. With a durable 120-horsepower engine, the little car has plenty of speed, and Poston especially likes how it handles in the 14 corners of the Carolina Motorsports Park course.

While larger cars need to slow considerably to take the turns, the Miata hugs the road like a champ.

Unlike some of the other participants, who excel at the blush-inducing art of ribald humor, Poston keeps his car “family friendly.” There are handprints from his children stamped all over the body, along with a selection of stock admonitions that fathers everywhere have uttered to their children. Particularly fitting, given the setting: “Don’t make me stop this car!”

SCLIVING.COOP | MARCH 2018 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

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SC scene

LEMON FRESH Dale Strimp le (right), one of the Lemons safety inspect ors, scrutinizes Irritable Dad Syndrome Rac ing’s 1994 Mazda Miata before giving it the green light to race.

Meanwhile, William Miller of Simpsonville and his Team S.O.B. crew were looking for a second consecutive firstplace win with their BMW 325. They claimed victory in the 2017 spring race after slogging away in Lemons racing for eight years and 18 races.

Before switching to the BMW, Miller and his team drove a 30-year-old Volkswagen Golf, never once taking the checkered flag, but placing second more times than any other team in the history of the series.

“That Volkswagen was a truly horrible car,” Miller said.

“We did our best with it, but it never disappointed in finding ways to surprise us with a different failure or a new way of breaking.”

Safety first, bribery second After getting settled into their assigned pits, teams spent the Friday before the race working on their cars before a close examination by Lemons safety inspectors like Dale Strimple.

“We make sure the battery and fuel tank are secure, the roll cage is built properly and that the welds are good,” Strimple said. “And, we require a kill switch on the car so that a fireman or anyone else can kill power to the car if it becomes necessary.”

With the inspections completed, teams took their ­vehicles into nearby Camden for an evening block party. The cars paraded through town and parked along both sides of Main Street, where hundreds of locals turned out to meet the drivers and laugh at the quirky costumes and themes that set 24 Hours of Lemons drivers apart from other racers.

Keith Stallard of Stafford, Virginia, and his team suited up as lumberjacks—checkered red-and-black shirts, beards, fur hats—and bolted a chainsaw to the top of their 1991 Ford 24

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | MARCH 2018 | SCLIVING.COOP

Sierra, just in case anyone had missed the gag.

On the other side of the street, another Virginia-based racing team, led by Jonathan Rohrer, took up the Mad Max movie theme, painting their faces silver and dressing as ­characters from the film.

“We love the movie,” Rohrer said. “It is action-oriented and involves rust and bullet holes. It kind of matched what we had.”

What they had was a battered 1999 Chevy S-10 they had picked up for $200. To create what looks like a massive machine gun atop the little truck’s cab, they used an old drive shaft, some saw blades and the actual gears from a 25 mm machine gun.

Many of the teams brought beer or liquor to the block party—not to consume, but to bribe the two Lemons judges who moved from car to car, clipboards in hand, making sure the teams had not exceeded their $500 investment limit.

Mario Rocha, from Harrison, New Jersey, made sure a case of Heineken was strategically placed on the hood of his 1995 BMW 325. When judge Steve McDaniel declared that the car had passed the $500 test, he loaded the beer into a wagon along with other booty he had collected and moved on to the next car.

Minutes earlier, he had been “bribed” with an Italian dinner provided by Aaron Horn from Taylorsville, North

ad Max, S Inspired by M LEMON WARRIOR one of many that is this Virginia team miles to participate. of ds re nd hu l trave

24 LEMON APPEAL Jay Lamm, founder of rs Hours of Lemons, urges the veteran drive fear.” of se “sen a and nce vigila tain main to

Carolina, and his teammates. A green tablecloth had been spread over the back of their 1972 Alfa Romeo Spider, and on it had been placed silverware, plates, champagne glasses, flowers and, of course, a generous portion of lasagna.

Sharks and jets On Saturday morning, 75 first-time drivers huddled up as McDaniel gave a final safety briefing and warned about the dangers of getting too cocky on the track. With clunkers barreling around at speeds in excess of 100 miles an hour, the potential for disaster is ever-present. Humor may permeate every aspect of Lemons racing, but safety is always a top priority.

Meanwhile, Lemons founder Lamm held the safety briefing for veteran drivers. He began by gesturing to the rookies meeting and making a broad reference to the film West Side Story.

“If you look behind you, coming at you—sort of like the Sharks and the Jets—are drivers from the rookies meeting,” he said, amid a round of good-natured booing.

Lamm held up a hand for silence.

“You may say ‘boo,’ but I will now establish that they are not going to be the problem out there. Those people have a healthy sense of fear and self-preservation, which you, as Lemons veterans, are starting to lose,” he said, pausing for effect. “Let us reclaim that sense of fear and self-preservation out there today.”

Soon, the drivers were suited up and strapped into their cars. At 10 a.m., they began filtering onto the track and navigating the circuit. Then a green flag signaled the start of the race, and for the next eight hours, the air was filled with the

GET THERE The 24 Hours of Lemons Southern Discomfort race takes place April 28–29 at Carolina Motorsports Park, 3662 Kershaw Highway, Kershaw. The Lemons South Fall race is scheduled for Sept. 15–16.

ADMISSION: All-access spectator passes are $30 at the gate.

Kids are admitted free.

DETAILS: To learn more about the race and the Lemons racing series, visit 24hoursoflemons.com or facebook.com/24hoursoflemons.

LEMON SPOILER Aft er eight years and 18 races racking up more second-plac e finishes than any tea Lemons history, Sim psonville-based Team m in both of the 2017 en S.O.B. won durance races in So uth Carolina.

sounds and smells of nonstop racing.

By the end of the day, the serious contenders had sorted themselves out, and when racing resumed following Sunday’s quiet time, Irritable Dad Syndrome Racing was in first place, Team S.O.B. in second and Theorectical Racing in third.

The final leg of the race turned out to be the most eventful for Les Denkins, the track’s tow-truck driver. One car lost a tire around turn 12 and bounced crazily off the pavement. A brake fire erupted on another car, and the hood from a third popped up and slammed back, smashing the vehicle’s windshield. A fire extinguisher in another car suddenly discharged, sending a cloud of white smoke in the vehicle’s wake.

Yet another car lost its transmission and coasted to a stop along the edge of the track.

Early in the final leg of the race, Poston’s Miata developed engine problems and limped into pit row. Irritable Dad Syndrome mechanics worked furiously but couldn’t fix it in time to finish the race.

“Well, that’s Lemons racing for you,” Poston said, vowing to return.

With the quick little Mazda out of contention, Team S.O.B. moved into first place and held tight until the checkered flag made the win official. Miller and his team had raced for more than 14 hours and completed 386 laps. Sprinkle’s team came in second, with only three laps separating it from the winner.

Minutes later, weary but smiling drivers and ­mechanics gathered around Lamm as he presented trophies made from discarded engine parts. Then, in true Lemons form, he paid out the top cash award of $1,500—in 40-pound bricks of rolled coins.

“It is funny, obviously,” Lamm said later. “But, it also helps reinforce the idea that racers are not coming here to win a purse and pay for their racing and move on up the ladder.

I think it helps everybody understand that this is a distinctly noncompetitive competitive event.”

SCLIVING.COOP | MARCH 2018 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

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|

SC travels

Home of racing legends TEXT AND PHOTOS BY TIM HANSON

TO THOSE WHO BREATHE THE RARIFIED

air of steeplechase horse racing, the 2002 death of Lonesome Glory—the beloved, chestnut-colored thoroughbred who held the attention of the racing world for most of the 1990s—was akin to the passing of Yankee slugger Lou Gehrig or the loss of boxing’s Muhammad Ali. He was that great.

In his stellar career, Lonesome Glory secured for his owners just about every award that was worth winning, and along the way brought home more than $1 million in prize money.

When he died in retirement at the age of 14 in Pennsylvania (the champion was euthanized after a leg injury), his remains were transported to Camden and buried at the sprawling 600-acre Springdale Race Course in front of the National Steeplechase Museum.

“He was a great steeplechaser,” says Catherine French, the museum’s

The Lonesome Glory exhibit at Camden’s National Steeplechase Museum pays tribute to the horse who earned more than $1 million in prize money over the course of a stellar career.

executive director. “And he was the biggest money-earner ever.”

Today, when visitors arrive at the museum, the first thing they see is a life-size, bronze statue of Lonesome Glory, just a few steps away from a grave marker that lists his major awards and lifetime earnings.

Inside, a Lonesome Glory exhibit

Spring equestrian events in South Carolina Aiken Trials

Aiken Horse Show

MARCH 17

MARCH 30–APRIL 1

This first leg of Aiken’s Triple Crown kicks off three weekends of horse events, this one focused on young thoroughbreds in action at Aiken Training Track.

This three-day event showcases competitions for all ages in a variety of categories in Hitchcock Woods.

(803) 648‑4631; aikentrials.com

Pacers and Polo

Aiken Spring Steeplechase

(803) 642‑0528; aikenhorseshow.org MARCH 31

Race day features six steeplechase races, a carriage parade and, of course, tailgating at Aiken Horse Park.

For polo fans, the final leg of the Aiken Triple Crown is a day of competition with six seven-minute chukkers at Powderhouse Polo Field in Aiken.

(803) 648‑9641; aikensteeplechase.com

(803) 641‑3334; usca.edu/pacersandpolo

Elloree Trials

Carolina Cup and Colonial Cup

MARCH 24

MARCH 31

Elloree Training Center hosts a day of thoroughbred and quarter horse racing, with 10 to 12 races on the schedule.

For the first time, these two longstanding and well-loved racing events will be held on the same day at Springdale Race Course in Camden.

MARCH 24

(803) 897‑2616 or (803) 897‑2821; clerk@elloreesc.com

28

(803) 432‑6513; carolina-cup.org/race-day-2018

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | MARCH 2018 | SCLIVING.COOP

contains one of his horseshoes, a mouth bit and his saddle towel. It is a fitting tribute that is part of the museum’s remarkable array of historical items and steeplechase memorabilia. Walls are covered with ­colorful jockeys’ riding silks, oil paintings, and dozens of photographs commemorating celebrated racehorses, owners, jockeys and philanthropists.

In a separate room, behind lock and key, are the coveted Carolina Cup, crafted in Ireland in 1704, and the Colonial Cup, which came from England in 1892.

Built in 1998 and financially sustained by 465 active members, the museum is wholly dedicated to the sport and is a mandatory stop for the tens of thousands of people who attend the annual Carolina Cup and Colonial Cup races.

Steeplechasing originated in Ireland sometime in the 1700s and is unique in the world of racing in that horse and rider jump over a number of hurdles as part of

the contest. Probably the most famous of these races is England’s Grand National, a grueling, four-mile-long competition that requires horses to clear 30 fences.

In 1929, some 66 horses turned out for the Grand National, the largest showing since its inception in 1839. News crews armed with nearly four dozen movie cameras recorded the event that saw several horses and riders fall and tumble in spectacular fashion. In the end, only nine horses finished the race.

One was so severely injured that it had to be euthanized.

That now-legendary race was also later captured by the renowned equestrian artist Paul Brown in a series of 19 watercolors. Those illustrations were owned by a collector in New York until he gave them to the museum, where they are now on permanent display.

Visitors also will find an exhibit on Marion duPont Scott, the last owner of

Springdale Race Course. Scott, who for a few years was married to the movie actor Randolph Scott, bequeathed the property to the state of South Carolina upon her death in 1983. The Scott exhibit also tells the story of one of her favorite horses, a relatively diminutive animal named Battleship, known for his unlikely ability on the racecourse. He even raced the Grand National.

“Here is a picture of him,” French says, pointing to one of the photos in the Scott exhibit. “He was a tiny little thing. For him to jump those fences at the Grand National and throw his rear end up over that fence, extensions had to be added to the reins so the rider could lean way back and not be pulled over Battleship’s head.

He was really a good little racehorse. He had to have a huge heart.”

French concedes that steeplechase racing is confined to a relatively small group of people. As older generations of

GET THERE The National Steeplechase Museum is located at 200 Knights Hill Road in Camden, on the grounds of historic Springdale Race Course.

HOURS: Open 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Wednesday through Saturday from September through May. Group tours are available by appointment.

ADMISSION: Guests are asked to make a donation at the door.

DETAILS: For more information, visit steeplechasemuseum.org or call (803) 432‑6153.

race fans and benefactors pass from the scene, French says she hopes younger Americans will discover the thrill of the sport and become involved. Her museum, she notes, is the perfect place to kindle that interest.

“The more you learn about steeplechasing, the more it gets into your blood,” she says. “It’s such a wonderful sport.”

THE 43RD ANNUAL CHERAW

April 7 & 8

SATURDAY & SUNDAY Award Winning Family Fun

For a free Visitor’s Guide, call 888.537.0014 • Visit us on Cheraw.com

Spring comes to Cheraw

in an extraordinary way. The Charleston travel writer that first described Cheraw as “the Prettiest Town in Dixie” must have traveled our streets during the springtime. Help us welcome this most beautiful time of the year with our Cheraw Spring Festival on April 7 & 8.

SCLIVING.COOP | MARCH 2018 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

29

|

SC recipe

KENTUCKY HOT BROWN SERVES 2

Named for the Brown Hotel in Louisville, Kentucky, the Hot Brown is an open-faced turkey sandwich topped with a cheese sauce, bacon and tomato. Created as a late-night snack for party-goers, it’s a favorite dish during the Kentucky Derby, served with a mint julep.

1 tablespoon unsalted butter 2 slices Texas toast (1-inch thick), crust trimmed 1 ½ tablespoons unsalted butter 1 ½ tablespoons all-purpose flour 1 ½ cups heavy cream 1 cup grated sharp cheddar cheese Pinch of nutmeg Kosher salt, to taste

Preheat oven broiler. Place ½ tablespoon butter in each of two oven-safe, single-serving dishes; melt on stovetop over medium heat. Add one slice Texas toast to each dish, and brown on each side. Set aside.

We know it simply but as Southern food, hes dis r ilia many of the fam ific ec sp to s we love have tie vel Tra . ies cit states and even zed ali loc se the South with the a ve ha t specialties tha their following beyond . es lin state

BY BELINDA SMITH-SULLIVAN

In a medium skillet over medium-low heat, melt 1½ tablespoons butter.

Add flour, and whisk until combined. Continue to cook about 2 minutes.

Whisk in cream, and cook until mixture starts to thicken to a gravy-like consistency, 2–3 minutes. Remove from heat, and stir in ½ cup grated cheddar, nutmeg, salt and pepper. (If sauce is too thick, add cream; if too thin, add cheese.)

Place a slice of turkey on each browned bread slice. In each dish, pour half of the cheese sauce, completely covering bread and turkey. Sprinkle with additional grated cheddar, and place under broiler until cheese begins to bubble and brown. Remove from oven, and crisscross 2 slices of bacon on each dish. Top each with a tomato slice, and garnish with a sprinkle of paprika, chopped parsley and grated cheddar.

M ICH A E L PH I LLI P S

Local favorites

White pepper, to taste 2 slices turkey, ½-inch thick 4 slices crispy bacon 2 thick slices beefsteak tomatoes Paprika for garnish Chopped parsley for garnish Grated cheddar cheese for garnish

MISSISSIPPI-STYLE SUCCOTASH SERVES 4–6

1 tablespoon olive oil ½ Vidalia onion, chopped ½ cup chopped red bell pepper 2 garlic cloves, minced 2 cups fresh or frozen corn kernels 2 cups fresh or frozen lima beans 1 cup fresh or frozen okra, sliced crosswise into ½-inch pieces 1 cup halved cherry tomatoes 2 tablespoons chopped parsley or basil

Kosher salt Freshly ground black pepper 3 slices crispy cooked bacon, crumbled into large pieces 1 tablespoon unsalted butter 1 tablespoon honey (optional) Freshly squeezed lemon juice (optional) Parsley for garnish

In a medium pan over medium heat, heat oil; add onions and bell peppers, and saute until onions are translucent. Add garlic, and cook an additional minute. Lower heat to medium-low, and add corn and lima beans. Cook until tender, 6–8 minutes. Add okra, and cook another 3–5 minutes. (Add oil, if needed.) Add tomatoes, parsley, salt, pepper and cooked bacon pieces. Toss with butter, honey and/or lemon juice, and garnish with parsley.

30

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | MARCH 2018 | SCLIVING.COOP

M ICH A E L PH I LLI P S

Succotash is a perfect side dish at any Southern meal. This is my family’s Mississippi Delta version. There’s no right or wrong recipe; just start with the basics—lima beans and corn—and tweak as you like. Made with bacon, it’s a meal in itself.

What’s cooking at SCLiving.coop Don’t shy away from your cast-iron skillet because it’s hard to clean. Chef Belinda has a surefire cleanup solution at

SCLiving.coop/food/chefbelinda

G I N A MOORE

ALABAMA CHICKEN-FRIED STEAK q

TENNESSEE SPICY-HOT CHICKEN p

SERVES 4

SERVES 4–6

Chicken-fried steak is a cubed beef cutlet breaded and fried like chicken.

Versions vary around the South; this one is served with a generous helping of milk gravy.

This “hot” favorite from Nashville consists of fried chicken dipped in a spicy sauce. It’s traditionally served on white bread to soak up the tangy goodness, with bread-and-butter pickles on the side.

4 4-ounce cube-steak cutlets Kosher salt Freshly ground black pepper ½ cup buttermilk ¾ cup all-purpose flour ¼ cup bread crumbs

½ cup canola or vegetable oil 1 medium yellow onion, halved and sliced 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour 1 cup milk Chopped chives for garnish

1 whole chicken, cut into 8 pieces 1 cup buttermilk 2–3 tablespoons hot sauce (your favorite) 2 cups all-purpose flour 1 ½ teaspoons kosher salt ¼ cup shortening 4 tablespoons unsalted butter 2 tablespoons cayenne pepper

Season cutlets with salt and pepper, and set aside. In one shallow bowl, pour buttermilk. In another shallow bowl, combine flour and bread crumbs. Dredge cutlets in buttermilk, shaking off excess, then dredge in flour. Place on a rimmed cookie sheet lined with a wire rack. Allow to rest 10–15 minutes, then dredge again in flour only, and replace on wire rack.

1 tablespoon light brown sugar, packed 1 teaspoon paprika ½ teaspoon garlic powder ½ teaspoon kosher salt ½ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper Canola or vegetable oil 4–6 slices white bread Bread-and-butter pickles

In a large, zippered plastic bag, combine buttermilk and hot sauce, and shake to mix. Add chicken pieces, and marinate overnight in refrigerator. Place a large dish under the plastic bag to catch any leaks.

In a cast-iron or heavy skillet over medium-high heat, add oil and bring to 350 F. Cook cutlets 5–6 minutes per side, until brown. Remove to a paper towel-lined platter or wire rack, and keep warm.

Reserve about 2 tablespoons of oil in skillet, and saute onions until translucent.

Sprinkle flour into skillet, and whisk to coat onions and scrape up brown bits on bottom of skillet. Gradually add milk; whisk until thickened, about 2–3 minutes.

Taste; add salt and pepper, if needed. Serve cutlets topped with gravy and garnished with chives.

Remove chicken from refrigerator and from plastic bag, and pat dry using paper towels. In a medium bowl, combine flour and salt, whisking to evenly distribute salt. Dredge chicken pieces in flour mixture, and place on a rimmed cookie sheet lined with a wire rack. Allow to rest 10–15 minutes, then dredge again and replace on wire rack.

In a small saucepan over medium-low heat, melt shortening and butter together. Add cayenne, brown sugar, paprika, garlic powder, salt and pepper; stir to combine. Cook until sauce starts to boil, about 3 minutes. Stir again, and remove from heat; keep warm until ready to use.

G I N A M OO RE

In a large, cast-iron or heavy skillet over medium-high heat, add about 1 inch of oil, and bring to 350 F. Place chicken pieces in hot oil, a few at a time, skin side down. Cook about 6 minutes per side or until internal temperature reaches 165 F. Do not crowd the pan.

Some pieces will cook faster than others; remove from pan when they reach 165 F. Drain on wire rack. Dip cooked chicken pieces in warm sauce, and serve each on a slice of bread, with pickles.

SCLIVING.COOP | MARCH 2018 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

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|

SC calendar MAR 15 – APR 15

Upstate

SCLiving.coop/calendar

MARCH

Our mobile-friendly site lists even more festivals, shows and events. You’ll also find instructions on submitting your event.

Please confirm information with the hosting event before attending.

16–17 The Wind in the Willows,

Abbeville Opera House, Abbeville.

(864) 366‑2157.

19 Glow’s Raising Voices Series: Armed, Warehouse Theatre, Greenville. (864) 558‑4569.

20 Chautauqua History Alive Talk: Alice Paul, Iron-Jawed Angel, Hughes Main Library, Greenville.

(864) 244‑1499.

20 Southern Wesleyan University Jazz Ensemble Concert, Newton Hobson Chapel and Fine Arts Center at SWU, Central. (864) 644‑5408.

24 Community Easter Egg Drop, Sunset Park, Greenville.

(864) 335‑4856.

24–25 SC Comicon, TD Convention Center, Greenville. (864) 235‑3488.

26 Houston Ballet II, Brooks Center for Performing Arts at Clemson University, Clemson. (864) 656‑7787.

29–31 Living Gallery 2018: This Is My Word, Rodeheaver Auditorium at Bob Jones University, Greenville.

(864) 770‑1372.

APRIL

5 Clemson University Jazz

Ensemble, Brooks Center for Performing Arts at Clemson University, Clemson. (864) 656‑7787.

7 iMAGINE Upstate Festival, Main Street and Fluor Field at the West End, Greenville. (864) 386‑3498.

7–8 Historic Pendleton Spring Jubilee, The Village Green, Pendleton.

(864) 646‑3782.

8 Department of Performing Arts “POPS” Concert, Patrick Square at Clemson University, Clemson.

(864) 656‑7787.

10 Chautauqua History Alive Talk: Winston Churchill, Hughes Main Library, Greenville. (864) 244‑1499.

12 Clemson University Men’s and Women’s Choirs, Brooks Center for the Performing Arts at Clemson University, Clemson. (864) 656‑7787.

12–14 SpringSkunk Music Fest, Skunk Farm, Greer. dixie@albinoskunk.com.

13 Mummenschanz, Brooks Center for the Performing Arts at Clemson University, Clemson. (864) 656‑7787.

14 2018 Upstate Heart Walk, downtown, Greenville. (864) 605‑7229.

14 Classics Series: The Music of John Williams, Twichell Auditorium at Converse College, Spartanburg.

(864) 948‑9020.

14 South Carolina State Chili Cook-Off, Main Street, Belton.

(864) 940‑3111.

36

O NG O ING

Fridays Starry Nights, Roper

Mountain Science Center, Greenville.

(864) 355‑8900.

Midlands M ARC H

15 National Symphony Orchestra

of Cuba, Newberry Opera House, Newberry. (803) 276‑6264.

16 Aiken’s Bacon and Brews, downtown, Aiken. jpalmer111@intelegra.com.

16 Beach Party Boys, Newberry Opera House, Newberry.

(803) 276‑6264.

16 Flashlight Easter Egg Hunt and Carnival in the Park, Gibson Road Soccer Complex, Lexington.

(803) 359‑4048.

16 Lightwire Theater’s Moon Mouse: A Space Odyssey, Sumter Opera House, Sumter. (803) 436‑2616.

16–17 Irish Fling and Spring Fling Weekend, downtown, Newberry.

(803) 321‑1015.

17 Aiken Trials, Aiken Training Track, Aiken. (803) 648‑4631.

17 Fancy Nancy, Newberry Opera House, Newberry. (803) 276‑6264.

17 Southern Sound Series: Mark O’Connor Band, McCelvey Center, York. (803) 684‑3948.

17 St. Pat’s in Five Points, Five Points, Columbia. (803) 748‑7373.

18 Artrageous, Newberry Opera House, Newberry. (803) 276‑6264.

18 The Spirit of Romanticism, The Etherredge Center, Aiken.

(803) 295‑0313.

20 “Requiem for Mother Emanuel” Circle of Dialogue, S.C. State Museum, Columbia.

(803) 898‑4921.

20 Carolina Piedmont Seminar Series: Rise and Reign of the Mammals, Museum of York County, York. (803) 981‑9182.

22 Gangstagrass, Newberry Opera House, Newberry. (803) 514‑7774.

23–25 Carolina Nationals BMX Races, Rock Hill BMX Supercross Track, Rock Hill. (803) 326‑2441.

23–25 Palmetto Sportsmen’s Classic, S.C. State Fairgrounds, Columbia. (803) 734‑4008.

24 Aiken Spring Steeplechase, Aiken Training Track, Aiken.

(803) 648‑9641.

24 Children’s Day on the Farm, Historic Brattonsville, McConnells.

(803) 684‑2327.

24 Del McCoury Band, Sumter Opera House, Sumter. (803) 436‑2616.

24 and 31 Easter Bunny Eggspress, S.C. Railroad Museum, Winnsboro. (803) 635‑9893.

24 Tartan Day South, Historic Columbia Speedway, Cayce.

(803) 665‑7620.

26 Million Dollar Quartet, Newberry Opera House, Newberry.

(803) 276‑6264.

29 A Taste of Lake Murray, Doubletree by Hilton, Columbia.

(803) 781‑5940.

30–April 1 Aiken Horse Show, Hitchcock Woods, Aiken.

(803) 642‑0528.

31 Herpetology of the Southeast Seminar, Museum of York County, York. (803) 981‑9182.

31 Pacers and Polo, Powderhouse Polo Field, Aiken. (803) 641‑3334.

APR IL

2–6 Spring Break Camps,

S.C. State Museum, Columbia.

(803) 898‑4921.

3 Horses ’N’ Courses, downtown, Aiken. (803) 642‑7631.

6 Walk a Mile in Their Shoes, South Carolina State House, Columbia.

(803) 790‑8208.

7 Arts Council of York County Secret Dinner, secret location, Rock Hill. (803) 328‑2787.

7 Steak Supper Fundraiser and Monthly Singing, Midland Gospel Singing Center, Gilbert. (803) 719‑1289.

8 Classic Albums Live: Led Zeppelin’s II, Newberry Opera House, Newberry. (803) 276‑6264.

10 The Queen’s Six, Newberry Opera House, Newberry. (803) 276‑6264.

12–21 Come-See-Me Festival, multiple venues, Rock Hill.

(803) 329‑7625.

13 The Oak Ridge Boys, Newberry Opera House, Newberry.

(803) 276‑6264.

14 Curing Kids Cancer Fire Truck Pull, Columbia Fire Department, Columbia. (866) 933‑2873.

14 Henry Cho, comedian, Newberry Opera House, Newberry.

(803) 276‑6264.

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | MARCH 2018 | SCLIVING.COOP

14–15 Columbia International

Festival, S.C. State Fairgrounds, Columbia. (803) 799‑3452.

14 and 28 So You Want to Publish a Book with Kimberly G. Massey, Center for the Arts, Rock Hill.

(803) 328‑2787.

ONGOING

Daily “Requiem for Mother Emanuel,” S.C. State Museum, Columbia. (803) 898‑4921.

Lowcountry MAR CH

15 Story Time at the Gibbes,

Gibbes Museum of Art, Charleston.

(843) 722‑2706, ext. 237.

15–17 Anything Goes, Blanding Street Auditorium, Lake City.

(843) 374‑8611.

16–17 Smoke in the ’Boro, Coastal Electric Outback, Walterboro.

(843) 539‑1133.

16–18 Charleston Antiques Show, Gaillard Center, Charleston.

(843) 722‑3405.

17 7th Annual Edisto Beach Road Race, Wyndham Ocean Ridge Recreation Center, Edisto Beach.

(843) 869‑3867.

17 Hunting Island Adventure Biathlon Race, Hunting Island State Park, Hunting Island. biathlon@seaislandrotary.org.

17 Shamrock 5K Run, Heritage Plaza, Hilton Head Island.

(843) 757‑8520.

17 St. Patrick’s Day Parade and Festival, Main Street, North Myrtle Beach. (843) 280‑5570.

17 Swamp Fox Adventure Race, Francis Marion National Forest, Huger.

(803) 292‑1900.

17–18 Ashley Hall Horse Show, Mullet Hall Equestrian Center at Johns Island County Park, Johns Island.

(843) 795‑4386.

18 Race and Roast 2018, Oakland Plantation, Mount Pleasant.

(843) 224‑1849.

20 Ovation Concert Finale, Dock Street Theatre, Charleston.

(843) 763‑4941.

21 American Folk Music with the Charleston Symphony Orchestra, Gibbes Museum of Art, Charleston.

(843) 722‑2706.

22 Burning of the Socks, South Carolina Maritime Museum, Georgetown. (843) 520‑0111.

22 iFiveK, Riverfront Park, North Charleston. (843) 579‑7659.

22–24 83rd House and Garden Tour, various venues, Charleston.

(843) 737‑3942.

23–25 2018 Quilt Festival, Hilton Head Beach and Tennis Resort, Hilton Head Island. palmettoquiltguild@gmail.com.

23–25 Saltwater Highland Games, North Myrtle Beach Park and Sports Complex, North Myrtle Beach.

(843) 492‑0515.

24 Jazz Samba: A Portrait of Stan Getz, Charleston Music Hall, Charleston. (843) 641‑0011.

24 Yard Sale and Craft Fair, Martha’s Circle of Centenary United Methodist Church, Conway.

(843) 347‑3781.

24–25 The Skirmish at Gambles Hotel, Rankin-Harwell House, Florence. (843) 667‑1705.

25 Pet Fest, Palmetto Islands County Park, Mount Pleasant. (843) 795‑4386.

28 Lecture: Moshe Safdie, Internationally Acclaimed Architect, Charleston Museum, Charleston.

(843) 722‑2706.

APR IL

4–8 Carriage Association of the Americas Open Drive Weekend, Mullet Hall Equestrian Center at Johns Island County Park, Johns Island.

(843) 795‑4386.

6–8 Flowertown Festival, Azalea Park, Summerville. (843) 871‑9622, ext. 124.

8 Charleston Honey & Bee Expo, Cinebarre, Mount Pleasant. charlestonbees@gmail.com.

8 Lowcountry Cajun Festival, James Island County Park, Charleston.

(843) 795‑4386.

8 Lowcountry Kids Expo, Gaillard Center, Charleston. (813) 463‑2712.

12–14 Puddin’ Swamp Festival, downtown, Turbeville. (843) 659‑2781.

12–15 Charleston Race Week, Charleston Harbor, Charleston.

(843) 628‑5900.

14 Taste of the Coast, House of Blues, North Myrtle Beach.

(843) 272‑8163.

14–15 Pee Dee Area Spring Coin Show, Florence-Darlington Technical College, Florence. (843) 968‑8706.

14–21 Women Build 2018, Heritage Oaks, James Island. (843) 768‑0998.

ONGOING

Fourth Tuesdays Wash Day, L.W. Paul Living History Farm, Conway.

(843) 365‑3596.

|

SC humor me

What Disney forgot to mention

BY JAN A. IGOE

Y’ALL KNOW we can hardly contain ourselves down here in the South because there’s another royal wedding in the making.

This is huge news, since the future princess is not of royal blood or any tea-and-crumpet lineage.

The glass slipper belongs to—drumroll, please—an American actress from Los Angeles.

Yes, ladies, the adorable and affluent Prince Harry was snared by the equally adorable and charismatic Meghan Markle, which means England is fresh out of eligible princes. (Weep if you must. We’ll wait.)

Although fascination with the royals and their assorted shenanigans is lost on me, I once dreamt of a career as a princess.

In lieu of an ugly step­sister, I had my mother and her unshakeable belief that every young girl should learn to clean a toilet and type 70 words a minute.

Meanwhile, Disney was ­teaching us that menial jobs belonged to peasants, who were usually miserable and had big feet.

But, the princess gig seemed so sweet.

No more floor scrubbing, coupon clipping or repellent relatives. Once “happily ever after” was in the bag, you’d just waltz around the castle in a shimmering Oscar de la Renta ensemble with a pair of diamond-studded Stuart Weitzman ­stilettos. (For you peasants, we’re talking $500,000 shoes.)

But, the hype wasn’t true. It turns out being a princess is a full-time job, and the list of rules for proper etiquette is longer than my HOA bylaws. Poor Meghan had to give up her acting career and shut down all her social media accounts. Future duchesses do not sign

38

The royal family should count its blessings that Harry didn’t fall for a Carolina girl, because her glass slipper would have been a flip-flop. autographs or post selfies in bikinis on Instagram. When cleavage goes royal, it can no longer go viral.

Politically, the queen’s kin must always remain neutral. They don’t take sides, offer opinions or vote. That’s going to be hard on Meghan, who started shaking up the world at age 11, when she convinced behemoth conglomerate Proctor & Gamble that dirty dishes weren’t only a problem for women. Now, she’s reduced to ruffling royal feathers by forgetting to wear nude pantyhose under her dress.

(Color me gobsmacked!)

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | MARCH 2018 | SCLIVING.COOP

The royal family should count its blessings that Harry didn’t fall for a Carolina girl, because her glass slipper would have been a flip-flop. By law, female toes must remain uncovered from March through October in these parts. And, nobody under 83 wears pantyhose unless they’re robbing a gas station.

The menu would have to change, too.

Buckingham Palace doesn’t serve shrimp and grits, because royals don’t eat shellfish. (That’s why you don’t see many palaces in Murrells Inlet.) Mac ’n’ cheese, which commands its own tier on the S.C. food pyramid, is also out. If the queen doesn’t eat it, bless her heart, neither do you.

The royals may adore tea, but it’s not the sweet, iced kind, our beloved regional beverage. Another deal breaker. Your chances of finding fresh, boiled peanuts between the Yorkshire pudding and scones aren’t good, either.

Then there’s the dress code. No matter the occasion, the queen’s posse must be properly primped at all times— from chapeau-covered head to fashionable feet. While Southern belles have no trouble getting decked out, they reserve their right to race through Food Lion in sweaty yoga pants.

Tiara optional, of course.

JAN IGOE is disappointed she’ll never be a princess, but she’s delighted she’ll never have to wear pantyhose with flip-flops.

Princes, princesses and peasants are welcome to send their royal daydreams to HumorMe@SCLiving.coop.