South Carolina Living March 2022

The ride Saddle up for rodeo thrills in Blythewood

CHANGEOUT

SC RECIPE

MARCH 2022

No-knead breads HUMOR ME

Torching fashion

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1

THE MAGAZINE FOR COOPERATIVE MEMBERS VOLUME 76 • NUMBER 3 (ISSN 0047-486X, USPS 316-240)

2022

march

Read in more than 600,000 homes and businesses and published monthly except in December by The Electric Cooperatives of South Carolina, Inc. 808 Knox Abbott Drive Cayce, SC 29033

13

The ride

Tel: (803) 926‑3175 Fax: (803) 796‑6064 Email: letters@scliving.coop

Take a wild ride behind the scenes of the Blythewood DOKO Rodeo and enjoy a slice of wholesome Americana, cowboy-style.

EDITOR

Keith Phillips Tel: (803) 739‑3040 Email: Keith.Phillips@ecsc.org FIELD EDITOR

Josh Crotzer

PUBLICATION COORDINATOR

Raphael Ofendo Reyes ART DIRECTOR

Sharri Harris Wolfgang DESIGNER

Trevor Bauknight PRODUCTION

Andrew Chapman WEB EDITOR

Chase Toler

COPY EDITORS

Jennifer Jas, Jim Poindexter CONTRIBUTORS

Michael Banks, Mike Couick, Hastings Hensel, Jan A. Igoe, Belinda Smith-Sullivan, Paul Wesslund PUBLISHER

Lou Green

ADVERTISING

Mary Watts Tel: (803) 739‑5074 Email: ads@scliving.coop NATIONAL REPRESENTATION

American MainStreet Publications Tel: (512) 441‑5200 Paid advertisements are not endorsements by any electric cooperative or this publication. If you encounter a difficulty with an advertisement, inform the Editor.

4

CO-OP NEWS

6

AGENDA

8

DIALOGUE

ADDRESS CHANGES: Please send to your

local co-op. Postmaster: Send Form 3579 to Address Change, c/o the address above.

Updates from your cooperative Most of us don’t think about the power supplied by our local co-op. That might change when you read these interesting facts about electricity.

A different threat to reliable power Periodicals postage paid at Columbia, S.C., SPRING SAVINGS SAVINGS Electric cooperatives have extensive plans to deal with and additional mailing offices. © COPYRIGHT 2022. The Electric Cooperatives of South Carolina, Inc. No portion of 1 may be reproduced South Carolina Living without permission of the Editor.

is brought to you by your member-owned, taxpaying, not-for-profit electric cooperative to inform you about your cooperative, wise energy use and the faces and places that identify the Palmetto State. Electric cooperatives are South Carolina’s — and America’s — largest utility network.

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

ARTS 2/28/22

ANNUAL SUBSCRIPTIONS:

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RECIPE

No-knead breads: part II

OFFER ENDS 3/26/22 Chef Belinda Smith-Sullivan’s experiment in no-knead

baking continues with new recipes for bagels, baguettes and a twisty delight called challah.

12

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MARKETPLACE CALENDAR OF EVENTS

The ride Saddle up for rodeo thrills in Blythewood

HUMOR ME

Every wizard needs a torch

Humor columnist Jan A. Igoe gazes upon the world of fashion—and walks away mystified.

FRO M TO P: M IC S M ITH; H E LE N R E A & RO B SUGA R

SC RECIPE

No-knead breads MARCH 2022

5

% OFF

HUMOR ME

Torching fashion

Hold on! A competitor at the Blythewood DOKO Rodeo thrills the crowd during the bronc riding event.

Photo by Mic Smith.

SC |agenda Three interesting facts about electricity

difficulty to power management. That’s why utilities are developing large-scale storage batteries to capture energy when it’s breezy and sunny then deliver it when needed.

Electricity must be used or stored after it’s generated. Electricity produced

Power out? Blame a ­squirrel. We all know to

from power plants, solar panels, wind turbines and hydro dams needs to be perfectly timed for when you decide to cook dinner, wash clothes or watch TV. The national grid of power generators, wires and substations is an incredibly complex network that makes electricity flow smoothly.

Utility operators must be strategic when adding renewable energy to the nation’s fuel mix—a coal or natural gas plant can ramp generation up or down fairly quickly to meet changing energy demands. But solar energy and wind power depend on the whims of nature, which adds an extra degree of

JA I DE E / PIX A BAY

makes hot foods cold and cold foods hot, washes the dishes and searches the internet. It is essential to our everyday lives, but we rarely think about it. Here are three facts about electricity that may amaze you.

ELECTRICITY TURNS DARK INTO LIGHT,

THE FUTURE OF ELECTRIC VEHICLES Futurists predict that within five years, wireless dynamic charging systems for electric delivery trucks will be built into special high-occupancy-vehicle lanes in large cities.

play it safe around elec­ tricity, but squirrels don’t.

They scamper and chew around transformers, substations and utility poles, where they can disrupt high-voltage equipment, shutting down power. But it’s not just squirrels. Snakes, birds and other critters can find their way into dangerous places. There’s no official recordkeeping of wildlife-caused power outages, but estimates run as high as 20%.

Highways could charge electric trucks.

Futurists predict that within five years, electric trucks will stay on the road longer, thanks to wireless dynamic

charging systems built into special highoccupancy-vehicle lanes in large cities.

Test projects are underway around the world, and the basic idea is similar to using those wireless chargers you can buy for your home electronics. Charging cars while they’re driving along the freeway is, of course, a lot more ambitious. But within five years, wireless dynamic truck charging could keep the deliveries rolling rather than having drivers sitting and drinking coffee for the several hours it takes for conventional plug-in charging. —PAUL WESSLUND

ONLY ON SCLiving.coop

Hungry for more of Chef Belinda Smith-Sullivan’s no-knead bread recipes?

Visit SCLiving.coop/ food/chefbelinda for her ­magnifique take on baguettes.

Beyond Bradfords Bradford pears are a landscaping nightmare.

See what our gardening columnist ­recommends as a replacement. You’ll find the story under the “Home & Garden” tab at SCLiving.coop.

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | MARCH 2022 | SCLIVING.COOP

Efficient attics

The path to lower power bills may run through your attic, but there is more to consider than just insulation. Get advice from the pros at SCLiving.coop/energy.

M A RC E L A GA R A

6

French connection

LIG HTKE E PE R / DE POS ITPH OTOS

Can’t get enough of the riding and roping from the Blythewood DOKO Rodeo?

Neither can we. Visit SCLiving.coop/rodeo for expanded coverage and even more great photos.

Yippee ki-yay!

L . A . JAC KSO N

GWÉ N A Ë L LE VOT

M IC S M ITH

Rodeo rolls on

Get your ducts in a row

Understanding the basics of how a heating and cooling system works will help you create a more efficient, comfortable living space.

Get started with this article at SCLiving.coop/energy.

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| dialogue A different threat to reliable power BEFORE A SEVERE STORM CROSSES OUR STATE

MIKE COUICK

President and CEO, The Electric Cooperatives of South Carolina

Electric cooperatives recognize that they need to be as prepared for cyberattacks as they are for severe weather.

8

line, electric cooperatives here have already prepared for its arrival. They’ve tracked its movements, reserved line crews and stocked their trucks with equipment and materials to rebuild lines and restore power as quickly as possible.

If you ask any line superintendent, they’ll tell you much of that preparation happens before a storm is even assigned a name, with efforts like rights-of-way maintenance, system upgrades and the ability to reroute power around downed circuits.

When Winter Storm Izzy’s ice and wind caused thousands to lose power in January, Blue Ridge Electric Cooperative member Hal Stone could appreciate more than most the role that preparation, resources and collaboration played in getting it back on. As an information security expert with 28 years of experience, the Pickens resident has kept a watchful eye out for threats that can harm infrastructure and take out vital services, and he is helping South Carolina’s electric cooperatives protect themselves and their members from the gathering storm of cyberattacks.

Businesses, governments and utilities have all been victims of cybercrimes like ransomware, data theft and cyberespionage. The ransomware attack on Colonial Pipeline last May had a widespread impact, creating a gasoline shortage and confirming the vulnerability of our critical infrastructure.

Cybercriminals certainly don’t discriminate based on the size of the targets. In November, Delta-Montrose Electric Association, a Colorado cooperative serving about 35,000 meters, was hit by a malicious cyberattack that took down internal systems like payment processing and billing for over a month. Fortunately, neither the cooperative’s distribution grid nor sensitive member data was breached, but such a threat looms over energy companies, big and small.

Information technology has been a driving force in the evolution of energy delivery. Cooperatives have built smart systems that can predict interruptions, locate trouble and prevent widespread outages. In many cases, members are able to connect and engage with these systems, ­allowing them to receive in-depth energy data and pay

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | MARCH 2022 | SCLIVING.COOP

remotely. This evolution toward interconnectivity is necessary but brings the risks of cyberattacks.

Electric cooperatives recognize that they need to be as prepared for these kinds of attacks as they are for severe weather. Cyberattacks are just as inevitable as weather events, but their impact can be managed. According to Stone, mitigating that risk requires an investment in incident planning, security technology, personnel training, and resource sharing.

The cooperative model is well suited for this venture. Although electric cooperatives are autonomous organizations, the standard of cooperation provides a crucial network of support. That kind of partnership will be necessary if and when a cooperative system is compromised by a cyberattack. South Carolina’s cooperatives have already established a cybersecurity task force—made up of information technology and systems security ­professionals like Stone—to share the latest information and best practices about keeping their co-ops safe.

Cooperatives prioritize safety and reliability, so protection of their systems is nothing new.

Co-ops have built firewalls that act as a barrier between their internal network and the public internet. Member and energy data is mirrored to remote servers in the event that the local data is breached. Cooperatives have strict policies on how their employees engage with the network, and the co-ops train them on how to avoid threats like phishing and spyware.

For decades, electric cooperatives have improved equipment, developed practices and upgraded materials primarily to prevent and restore outages created by environmental elements. It’s that devotion to the mission of providing safe and reliable power that is helping cooperatives face this new digital-age challenge.

Whether it’s a hurricane or a hack, I’m thankful cooperatives are looking out for their members and for the next threat to that mission.

| recipe

In a large bowl, add flour, salt and yeast and mix well. Add water, oil, 4 cups bread flour honey and 2 eggs and ½ tablespoon kosher salt mix, using the handle of 1 teaspoon instant yeast a large wooden spoon, 1½ cups water, room temperature just enough to form a G cup olive oil ball. Cover bowl with G cup honey plastic wrap and allow to 2 large eggs, room temperature rest at room temperature 1 large egg, for egg wash for 2 hours. Refrigerate Sesame seeds, optional for 2 days to allow the dough to form strong gluten strands that will give the bread strength and texture.

NO-KNEAD CHALLAH MAKES TWO LOAVES

After 2 days, remove dough from refrigerator and allow to come to room temperature. Scrape dough onto a clean, floured surface and divide dough in half. Then divide each half into three even-sized pieces. Roll each piece into a long log—the same length. With three logs side by side, pinch the top ends together and braid the three logs. Bring the right log to the middle, then the left log to the middle (the same process as braiding hair). Repeat until you get to the end of the loaf. Make sure the ends are securely pinched together and tucked underneath the loaf.

Repeat with remaining three logs. Cover with a clean, dry towel and allow to rise for 1 to 2 hours or until dough has doubled in size.

Preheat oven to 350 F. Whisk together 1 egg and 1 table­ spoon water, and brush onto the risen dough. Allow to sit another 10 minutes, then apply a second coat of the egg wash. If desired, sprinkle with sesame seeds. Bake 25–30 minutes until golden brown, rotating the baking pan halfway through baking for an even crust color.

No-knead breads: part II

BY BELINDA SMITH-SULLIVAN

If the pandemic had a silver lining, it was the chance to learn new skills and experiment in the kitchen. My escape was no-knead bread baking, and now I can’t stop! Here are some of my new favorites for you to try at home and enjoy— for a fraction of the price you would spend at the market.

What’s cooking at

SCLiving.coop No-knead baguettes—Ooh la la!

Chef Belinda’s recipe for this traditional French staple, as well as “No-knead breads: part I” (including an experimental recipe for charcoal bread), can be found exclusively at

SCLiving.coop/food/ chefbelinda

In a large bowl, stir water, salt and yeast together to combine.

Add flour and stir into wet MAKES ONE LOAF (8½ X 4½ INCHES) mixture with the handle of a 1I cups water, room temperature wooden spoon until it forms a 1½ teaspoons kosher salt ball. Scrape sides of bowl and G teaspoon instant yeast continue to stir until all flour is 3½ cups bread flour incorporated into the dough ball. Cover bowl with plastic wrap and place in a warm, dry area or lighted oven. Proof dough for at least 8 hours, up to 24 hours.

NO-KNEAD SANDWICH BREAD

I U LI IA N E DRYGA I LOVA

10

GWÉ N A Ë L LE VOT

H E LE N R E A & RO B SUGA R

SC

Spray an 8 ½ x 4 ½ loaf pan with vegetable spray. Scrape dough onto a clean, floured work surface. Sprinkle top of dough with flour and— with floured hands—fold dough over onto itself (sides, then top and bottom) until smooth, about 2 times. Gently pat dough with hands into a disc. Fold one-third of dough to the center and then the other onethird over that. Place, seam side down, into loaf pan. Cover and proof again for one hour.

Preheat oven to 450 F for at least 30 minutes. When ready to bake, sprinkle dough again lightly with flour. Using a bread lame or serrated knife, score bread on top. Bake dough for 30–35 minutes until lightly brown on top.

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | MARCH 2022 | SCLIVING.COOP

NO-KNEAD BAGELS MAKES 8 LARGE BAGELS

4 cups bread flour ½ teaspoon instant yeast 1½ teaspoons kosher salt 1 tablespoon sugar 2 cups water, room temperature

3 tablespoons honey Flour or cornmeal, for dusting Sesame seeds (or other desired toppings)

In a large bowl, mix the dry ingredients well. Add the water and mix, using the handle of a large wooden spoon, just enough to form a dough. Do not knead.

Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and let sit 18 hours at room temperature.

After 18 hours, wash your hands well and remove the dough to a clean surface sprinkled with flour. Fold dough over on itself a couple times: top, bottom and sides.

Wrap dough in the plastic wrap you just used for the bowl and let rest for 15 minutes.

Put down a clean cotton towel (or parchment paper) and sprinkle it with flour. Put the dough in the middle of the towel and wrap the towel around the dough.

If using parchment paper, cover with a clean towel.

Let the dough “proof” for 2 hours. Around the 1:45 mark, start preheating the oven to 450 F, and boil water in a large pot. Add the honey to the water and stir it in well. Why honey? It improves the crumb of the bagels.

When the 2-hour proofing time has expired, unwrap towel and turn dough onto a floured work surface. With well-floured hands, divide the dough into eight pieces and form into balls. Flatten with your hand and make a 2-inch hole in the middle of each, using your thumb or small cookie cutter.

Dust a baking sheet liberally with cornmeal or flour.

Or line baking sheet with a silicone baking mat or parchment paper.

Boil 2–3 bagels at a time for 1 minute—flipping after 30 seconds. Using a spider spatula, remove bagels from the water and place on the baking sheet. Let the boil resume between batches.

Sprinkle top of bagels lightly with sesame seeds or other desired toppings.

Bake for 20–25 minutes or until nicely browned. Cool on baking sheet for 20 minutes and transfer to cooling rack. Bagels will keep for 2–3 days on counter in plastic zip‑close bag or up to a week in the refrigerator.

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| stories

A new mission To hear military personnel and police officers say “I’ve got your six” means they’ve got your back. You’re covered.

John Richards, an active-duty U.S. Navy EOD tech, and Philip Moniz, a Charleston County sheriff’s deputy, have been looking out for each other since their first day of third grade in Summerville some 30 years ago—and they’ve been protecting the rest of us most of their adult lives. One day, the childhood friends were discussing what they might do when they eventually retire. Both men wanted an opportunity that would serve their fellow service members, veterans and first responders.

“Coffee was the natural choice,” says Moniz, who, as a hobby, roasted beans in his Goose Creek garage. “I started roasting because I started hating 3 a.m. gas station coffee. It did the job, but I wanted better.”

In April 2017, the duo started OneNation Coffee with the slogan: “We’ve got your six— a.m.” The company donates $1 per pound of coffee sold, has partnered with organizations serving military and law enforcement personnel, and the founders have now formed their own OneNation Foundation.

At the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, the company donated 2,000 pounds of coffee to first responders in South Carolina and New York City. Partner Neil Johnson, who joined the company in March 2020, has helped guide steady growth of the business and its charitable mission.

“We made something out of nothing,” Richards says of the risky decision to launch OneNation Coffee. “You can prepare as best you can, but at some point, you have to jump out of the plane, jump into the water, go and do the business.”

—MICHAEL BANKS | PHOTO BY MILTON MORRIS

12

Philip Moniz, John Richards and Neil Johnson Owners of OneNation Coffee (onenationcoffee.com), a Summerville roaster that supports active-duty military, first responders and veterans.

AGES: Co-founders John Richards (CEO/president) and Philip Moniz (master roaster) are both 42, while partner Neil Johnson is 52.

DAY JOBS: Sgt. Moniz (left) is a Charleston County deputy sheriff, bomb technician and member of the SWAT team. Senior Chief Richards (right) is a U.S. Navy explosive ordnance disposal (EOD) technician. Johnson (not pictured) served six years in the Navy as a reactor operator on the submarine USS Miami and now runs an investment company.

WORDS TO LIVE BY: Moniz, OneNation’s coffee expert, says attention to detail is vital if you are defusing a bomb or roasting coffee. “If you don’t care about the details, you’re not going to get a good result.”

CO-OP AFFILIATION: Richards and Moniz are members of Berkeley Electric Cooperative.

CLAIM TO FAME:

GET MORE Learn more about the company and foundation at onenationcoffee.com.

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | MARCH 2022 | SCLIVING.COOP

Rounding up the buck-wild world of the Blythewood DOKO Rodeo

BY HASTINGS HENSEL | PHOTOS BY MIC SMITH

THE RIDE

FOR BULL RIDER HUNTER TARDIFF OF BATESBURG-LEESVILLE, two days of the Blythewood DOKO Rodeo have all come down to this moment.

The bright lights are on. A haze of kicked-up dirt hangs in the air, which smells of livestock and funnel cakes. The crowd, whooping and hollering, stands on its feet in the metal bleachers. Under two billowing American flags, other cowboys perch like hawks atop the chute where a 1,500pound bucking bull flares its nostrils and stomps its hooves.

The young cowboy has waited all night—through the bucking bronc riding, the barrel racing, the calf roping, the steer wrestling, the circus acts and kids’ races—and soon he’ll climb over the chute’s rails and mount the bull. When the gate swings open, the crowd will watch in rapt attention to see if he can hold on for the next eight violent seconds.

“It’s a feeling you don’t feel doing anything else in the world,” Tardiff says just before climbing up. “It’s a feeling that nothing else can give you.”

held each spring and fall, is the brainchild of Buck and Kristi Coggins. As his name suggests, Buck Coggins is a rodeo man—tall and cowboy-handsome in his denim jeans, cowboy boots and Stetson hat. He met Kristi when she was the University of South Carolina women’s golf coach. They’d both been around rodeos—Buck when he worked for a company that sponsored them, and Kristi when her mother produced them for oil companies in Texas.

“It’s just family-friendly, kid-friendly and truly somewhat unique on the East Coast,” Kristi says of bringing rodeo events to Blythewood. “It’s just something you don’t get to see every day.”

During the event, they make their rounds like rodeo ambassadors between the crowd, the cowboys, the cowgirls, the vendors, the sponsors, BLYTHEWOOD’S DOKO RODEO,

THRILL SEEKERS Hunter Tardiff, top, readies himself for eight wild seconds atop a furious bull, while Wagner’s Gabriel Simmons, 9, above, enjoys a somewhat calmer ride on its mechanical counterpart.

SCLIVING.COOP | MARCH 2022 | SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING

13

HORSING AROUND Cowboys, top left, need confidence and athleticism to be successful in the steer wrestling event.

the emcees, the journalists, the cops, the paramedics, the bullfighters, and the judges.

“We do this for the community,” Buck says while “God Bless America” blares on the loudspeakers.

And yes, the crowd is completely roped in. They, too, don the boots and hats and belt buckles, but instead of riding a bucking horse or wrestling a steer, they lick ice cream cones and ride mechanical bulls and hold hands with their dates.

FOR ALL THE FUN AND GAMES, though, there is still serious money on the line. Sanctioned by the International Professional Rodeo Association (IPRA), the top competitors can go on to the International Finals Rodeo in Oklahoma. Winners of the local events can also pocket around $800 in cash.

One of the first cowboys up in the bucking bronc riding event is 62-year-old South Carolina native Harold Miller, who won the first rodeo he ever attended—in his hometown of Seneca in 1975. At one time, he ranked in the top 15 in the world. These days, he cites hard work and regular prayer for the reason he’s still going, despite injuries that prevent him from turning sideways.

“Jesus has given me a good blessing to go on this far,” he says. “And it’s a great sport. It’s dangerous, but it’s a great sport. You meet a lot of good people. It’s a family-like deal.”

Miller mounts the bronc in the bucking chute, and when the gates open, his whole body moves as fluidly as a wet noodle. Somehow, in spite of the laws of time and gravity, he hangs on. The crowd goes wild.

Although roughstock events like bull riding and bronc riding get the most attention, steer wrestling might be the most athletic rodeo event. The steer wrestler (or bull-dogger) must chase a steer that usually weighs twice as much as he does, leap from his horse, put the steer into a horn lock and wrestle the animal to the ground.

This is why there’s a saying in rodeo: “It’s not a matter of if you get hurt; it’s a matter of when.” And sure enough, one

14

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | MARCH 2022 | SCLIVING.COOP

p Taylor Dodd guides her horse through the barrel racing course. t Buck and Kristi

Coggins first found each other and a shared love of rodeos, then founded the Blythewood DOKO Rodeo.

ALL ROPED IN

u Columbia cowgirl Eva

Thigpen, 5, with sister Emma, 2, and mom Taylor, displays her rodeo spirit.

q Harold Miller has been riding bucking broncs for more than 45 years.

Visit SCLiving.coop/rodeo for more vignettes and photos from the 2021 Blythewood Rodeo.

THE RIDE

bull-dogger at the Blythewood rodeo jumps “What makes me really like it is after I GET THERE on top of a steer but gets his boot hung up make a save with a guy, he comes up to me in the stirrup, eats dirt, and then lies on the and is like, ‘Hey man, I really appreciate it. If In 2022, the Blythewood DOKO Rodeo will take place April 22–23 ground in obvious pain. it wasn’t for you, then I would have got run and Oct. 28–29 at Community “We’ve got a possible injury here,” the over,’” says bullfighter Cody Ballard.

Park Arena, 311 Blythewood Road emcee announces as the crowd falls silent in Blythewood. For details, visit and the paramedics carry out the cowboy on FOR BULL RIDER HUNTER TARDIFF, his time blythewoodrodeo.com or email a stretcher. “Lift him up in a little prayer.” in the bright lights has arrived. info@blythewoodrodeo.com​.

In the end, he’s OK, and one senses that He climbs up the chute railing and mounts most cowboys wear their injuries with a kind the bull. He places one hand on the saddle of pride. knob and with the other he adjusts his hel“It’s pretty intense,” admits bull rider Jacob Cashion of Cross met. The other cowboys—their Adam’s apples clicking, their Anchor, who recounts with a shrug a ride-gone-wrong four cowboy hats drawn close to their hawk-bill noses—encourage weeks earlier that left him with four broken ribs and a bruised him on. Tardiff zones everything out. Technique is now muscle lung. “It’s a gamble.” memory—to keep the free arm raised for balance, to lean forward when he bucks, to stay seated when he jumps, to hold on.

The chute opens. The bull goes, as they say, buck wild.

WHICH IS WHY, AT RODEOS, you always have bullfighters—a Tardiff falls off before the eight seconds required to receive team of professionals whose job it is to steer away the wild a score, and the bullfighters guide the bull away from the animal after the cowboy is bucked off. Sometimes known cowboy, who slams his thigh in frustration. Still, he is undeas rodeo clowns because they wear face paint—a tradition that harkens back to when their job was also to entertain the terred. He’s already thinking about the next ride. crowd between rides—they protect the rodeo athlete by dis“My goal is to get Rookie of the Year,” he says. “Then I’m gonna try and be a champion.” tracting the animal once the rider is off.

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19

SC

| calendar

MAR 15–APR 15

Upstate

Midlands

MARCH

MARCH

18 Nostalgic—Spartanburg

Philharmonic, Chapman Cultural Center, Spartanburg. (864) 948‑9020 or spartanarts.org.

19 Family Funday: Flower Fairies + Elves, Spartanburg Art Museum, Spartanburg. (864) 582‑7616 or spartanburgmuseum.org.

19 KidsFest, Hagood Mill Historic Site, Pickens. (864) 898‑2936.

30–April 1 15th Annual Clemson Literary Festival, Clemson University, (864) 656‑3151.

APRIL

1–3 Spring Fling Horse Show,

T. Ed Garrison Arena, Pendleton. scuec3@gmail.com.

2 iMAGINE Upstate STEAM Festival, Main Street, Downtown Greenville, (864) 506‑6661 or imaginesteamsc.org.

7 United States Air Force Concert Band and the Singing Sergeants, Brooks Center for the Performing Arts, Clemson. (864) 656‑7787.

15–16 Alice in Wonderland, Spartanburg Youth Theatre, Spartanburg. (864) 542‑2787 or chapmanculturalcenter.org.

17–20 Puffs, or Seven Increasingly

Eventful Years at a Certain School of Magic and Magic, Arts Center of Kershaw County, Camden.

(803) 425‑7676 or fineartscenter.org.

18 “From Catawba to Contemporary—Pottery and Ceramic Arts from the S.C. State Museum’s Collection,” USC-Lancaster Native American Studies Center, Lancaster.

(803) 313‑7172.

25–27 Palmetto Sportsmen’s Classic, South Carolina State Fairgrounds, Columbia. (803) 734‑4008 or scstatefair.org.

25–April 3 Inspire Festival, various theaters and outdoor spaces, Sumter. sumterinspirefestival.org.

26 Aiken Spring Steeplechase, Aiken Steeplechase Track, Aiken.

(803) 648‑9641.

26 MTC Showoff Talent Competition, Harbison Theatre, Irmo.

(803) 407‑5011 or harbisontheatre.org.

26 True to the Brew Trail 10K Run/ Hike, Pomaria. (803) 771‑0870.

27 The Great Dubois, Sumter Opera House, Sumter. (803) 436‑2616.

31–April 3 Tartan Day South

SCLiving.coop/calendar

APR IL

Our mobile-friendly site lists even more festivals, shows and events. You’ll also find instructions on submitting your event. Please confirm information with the hosting event before attending.

Festival, Historic Columbia Speedway, Cayce. (803) 665‑7620.

1–30 Laurie Adamson

Exhibit, Aiken County Visitors Center, Aiken. (803) 642‑7557 or discoveraikencounty.com.

2 Blue Star Blitz, Anne Springs Close Greenway, Fort Mill. (803) 547‑4575.

2 Healthy Kids Fun Fair, Segra Park, Columbia. (803) 252‑4552.

2–3 Columbia International Festival, South Carolina State Fairgrounds, Columbia. (803) 799‑3452.

2–3 Shaw Air & Space Expo, Shaw Air Force Base, Sumter. (803) 895‑4897.

9 Children’s Day on the Farm, Historic Brattonsville, McConnells.

(803) 684‑2327 or chmuseums.org.

Lowcountry MAR CH

13 Hilton Head Island St. Patrick’s

Day Parade, Lowcountry Celebration Park, Hilton Head Island.

(843) 290‑9860.

15 Author Talk with Susan B. Zurenda, Morris Center for Lowcountry Heritage, Ridgeland. (843) 284‑9227.

18 World Affairs Council of Hilton Head presents “Germany, the EU, and the U.S. after Chancellor Merkel,” First Presbyterian Church, Hilton Head Island. (843) 384‑6758.

19 Art of Indigo Dyeing Workshop, Morris Center for Lowcountry Heritage, Ridgeland. (843) 284‑9227.

19 Hilton Head Wingfest, Shelter Cover Community Park, Hilton Head Island. (843) 681‑7273.

21–27 Hilton Head Island Wine and Food Festival, various locations, Hilton Head Island. (843) 301‑9256.

24–26 Garden Club of Charleston House and Garden Tours, Historic District, Charleston. thegardenclubofcharleston.org.

24–26 SC BBQ Shag Festival, Hemingway Ball Fields Recreation Park, Hemingway. scbbqshagfestival.com.

25–27 2022 Quilt Festival, Hilton Head Beach & Tennis Resort, Hilton Head Island. palmettoquiltguild.org.

26 Waccamaw Sportsmen’s

Expo, Conway Marina, Conway.

(843) 248‑6260 or conwayalive.com.

29 Standing Up Against Hate, virtual event, Morris Center for Lowcountry Heritage, Ridgeland. (843) 284‑9227.

APR IL

1 World Affairs Council of Hilton Head presents “Biden and the Changing Landscape of the Middle East,” First Presbyterian Church, Hilton Head Island. (843) 348‑6758.

1–3 Flowertown Festival, downtown, Summerville. (843) 871‑9622 or summervilleymca.org.

2 “Close to You” The Music of the Carpenters, USCB Center for the Arts, Beaufort. (843) 521‑4145.

8 Kiawah Art and House Tour, Kiawah Island. kiawahartsetc.org.

8–9 World Grits Festival, downtown, St. George. worldgritsfestival.com.

9 Founders’ Day Festival, Charles Towne Landing State Historic Site, Charleston. (843) 852‑4200.

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SC

| humor me

Every wizard needs a torch

BY JAN A. IGOE

FOR THE PAST MILLION

years or so, humans have relied on clothes for warmth, protection and resistance to arrest. Since nature elected not to cover us with thick fur or scaly hides (most of us, anyway), we’re not weatherproof or tough. Humans are a woefully delicate species. Our kind may be mortally wounded by a stray Lego.

In the interest of full disclosure, I would still wear clothes even if it wasn’t required for practical and legal reasons. The colors, designs, styles and variety call to me—usually from a store to say they want to come live in my closet. And who am I to deny them?

Even though writers of modest means are not the target audience for celebrated fashion designers, I follow them to spot the latest trends so I’ll recognize a bargain when it shows up at Goodwill five years from now. But the latest out of Paris is too bizarre, even for me.

During a winter fashion show, Kanye West (or Ye as he is now known) and his new squeeze debuted denim outfits, which were fashionably ridiculous. His ultra-baggy pants looked like hand-medowns. Hers were long enough for an NBA center, yet her jacket didn’t make it to her bare navel. On the functional side, the jacket gets points for the builtin cone-shape bra, pointy enough to impale an enemy (think Madonna’s Blond Ambition tour). It could also double as a funnel in case these folks ever see a kitchen.

The thing is, fashion loves to leave practical in the dust. Take the “Godfather of Goth Glam” Rick Owens and his 22

Menswear designer Rick Owens thinks that every guy wants to be remembered “as a heroic wizard standing on a cliff holding a torch.” trendsetting menswear, for example. He designs mostly black clothes that might have two sleeves, or maybe three. And they may be 5 feet long. There may be a tank top hanging from the pants.

Sometimes there’s a spare armhole by your navel should you grow an extra appendage. (The jury is out on long-term effects of the vaccines, so anything is possible.)

Owens’ shapes would make Salvador Dali drool. One design has shoulder pads like pro football players wear. Another features metal chains that hug your bare

SOUTH CAROLINA LIVING | MARCH 2022 | SCLIVING.COOP

chest like a vest. If you get cold, check out his puffer coat that zips from waist to forehead. (You can’t see or breathe, but you’ll be warm.) If someone wearing a Rick Owens original leather design with random architectural features jutting out of the abdomen showed up at your door on Halloween, you’d give him all the treats he wanted.

Then you’d turn your porch light off and hide.

Pushing the boundary of bizarre, Owens also introduced a hat-like helmet thing that’s about 3 feet tall and features two glowing lights. Fluorescent, I think.

It might be good for hurricane season.

Ironically, Owens keeps no more than five things in his own closet and always wears the same outfit. He says a fit body is way more important than clothing. He also thinks that every guy wants to be remembered “as a heroic wizard standing on a cliff holding a torch,” according to hypebeast.com.

While peasants like me wonder where in the world men wear this stuff, Owens has fans around the world who do. You can land a patterned hoodie with stripes going in every direction for $2,435 at farfetch.com. Pair it with black drawstring trousers for $453 from ssense.com.

(That’s the sale price.)

Go ahead, Gandalf. Get the helmet to go with it.

JAN A. IGOE isn’t knocking wizards or fashion; she’s just fascinated by outfits that won’t fit in a car. Especially if they cost more than the car. Trendsetters and Merlins are always welcome at HumorMe@SCLiving.com.

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