04-05-2000

anchor Hope College

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Holland, Michigan

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A student-run nonprofit publication

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April, 2000 Everybody's T h u m b o d y

Serving the H o p e College C o m m u n i t y for I I 3 years

Questionable status • New York magazine cites Hope College as a questionable institution for gay, lesbian students.

JANE BAST infocus editor

Hope College was recently listed among quesiionable colleges for g a y . l e s b i a n , b i s e x u a l and iransgender students (GLBT) by a New York based magazine.

Metrosource, a m a g a z i n e with national circulation, included Hope along with nine other colleges and universities in its fall 1999 issue.

Hope was the only school with a student body under 5.000.

The article reached the attention ol Christine Trinh COO) who used it for her online webzine. The Millstone. " S o m e o n e last s e m e s t e r mentioned it [the article] to me. but it took me awhile to track it d o w n . " Trinh said.

After receiving the article. Trinh

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had the opportunity to speak with Metrosource's Editor-in-Chief.

"He didn't have any direct contact with Hope College as far as I know." Trinh said.

Trinh was told that colleges were selected based on information sent by people at the schools.

"I was told that students, faculty or people from the school c o m m u nity nominated their school based o n p e r s o n a l e x p e r i e n c e , " Trinh said. The nominated schools were then placed into t w o categories.

Gay-positive, or Questionable.

The ranking was included in a larger article entitled "Out on Campus," which detailed the G L B T programs of several national universities, as well as the problems G L B T students may face at those schools.

Schools were considered gay-

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Mission: c o n t i n u e d • Spring Break mission trip group raises money for scholarships for Nicaraguan students.

CARRIE A R N O L D campusbeat editor

Although Hope's Spring Break Mission Trips have officially ended, one group has decided to bring their mission back to Hope with them.

While they worked with the Jubilee Partners in Georgia, the group, led by Brad Jerdon (*02) and Kim VanDerWende (*01). met two stud e n t s f r o m N i c a r a g u a . As t h e women. Maria Jose, age 19. and Jennifer. 25. shared their personal stories, the group was touched by the hardship that they faced in their home country.

"We were all touched that they had come to the States to learn and to share their story." said Amy Otis, head of the International Office and staff advisor to the trip.

During the week, the women informed the group of a scholarship p r o g r a m at t h e U n i v e r s i t y of M a n a g u a that sends a student to college for one year at a cost of $250. T h e y decided that night to raise money for the program, which is currently over $9000 in debt.

"For us, we were not only on fire for God. we were learning about other cultures and how hard it was to b e a C h r i s t i a n there," VanDerWende said. "This is an attempt for us to make a change in what we see. It's one way to give back."

After the group returned to Hope, they decided to contribute $20 each to s p o n s o r a child for this year, a l o n g with c o n d u c t i n g o u t s i d e fundraising events.

Anchor

photo

by Jen Bodine

J A Z Z I N G U P R H Y X H M : Mike Messink (f01) and Adam Hoane ('02) of "Geno Scare"performed at Talent Jam on Friday} March 31. "Geno Scare" took fourth place, tying with the band "So What." Drew McCidly COO) took first place with his comedian act, Jenny Alexander CO!) took second with a vocal solo, and "Those Guys" took third with an improvisional act on tuna.

A l u m appears on gameshow A N D R E W LOTZ: spotlight editor

Riding the million-dollar quiz game wave, Dan M c C u e ('99) rec e n t l y a p p e a r e d on t h e N B C gameshow "Twenty-One." He was picked as a contestant a f t e r n o t i c i n g an ad f o r t h e gameshow in a Las Vegas paper.

M c C u e c a l l e d the n u m b e r and ended up answering some questions over the phone. He passed the initial quiz, and was invited to a contestant audition at Caesar's Palace.

McCue was one of 150 who apmore MISSIOM on 1.

peared at Caesar's Palace to take an on different shows," McCue said. audition quiz and play a mock game "I met one guy who was on the of the show. One of the questions Wheel of Fortune before Pat Sajack was the host. Scary being with that McCue these people who do was asked g a m e s h o w s all t h e t i m e was "Have people w h o live for game you apshows, it's all they watch and peared on a do." gameshow T h e auditions were also a in the past chance for the rules to be exyear?" plained to the potential contes"There is tants. a "Already just witnessing this gameshow D a n M c C u e circus freakshow posing as a sub culture gameshow audition was worth where difmore MCCUE on I O ferent people will make the rounds

H o p e offers alcohol screening and lecture Jongerius-Zuidema said. "1 have deep compassion for people who editor-in-chief suffer with (alcoholism)."

Alcoholism is a personal subject Jongerius-Zuidema has helped for Joel Jongerius-Zuidema. organize with Holland Community Jongerius-Zuidema has seen his Hospital the second annual Alcohol uncle commit suicide because of Screening and Lecture on Thursday. alcoholism. His sister missed his The screening will be held from wedding because she was in detox 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. in the Phelps Otte for alcoholism.

R o o m . A l e c t u r e , p r e s e n t e d by "1 t a k e this very s e r i o u s l y . " Tracy Jaeger, will be given at 7 p.m.

MIKE Z U I D E M A

check it out.

Anchor@Hope.Edu (616) 395-7877

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Jaeger is a psychologist with specialty in alcohol and drug addiction and is coordinator of the hospital's detox unit.

Last year's screening, which is also open to the public, had 160 participants.

Of t h o s e t e s t e d , J o n g e r i u s Zuidema said that only a handful had test scores that showed drinking affected school p e r f o r m a n c e

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and relationships. He also said that two students had scores that indicated alcohol dependency.

Tests lake between five and 10 minutes to complete and will be privately scored and interpreted while participants wait. The screening is free, confidential and anonymous.

There are three possible interpretations based on the score, f r o m

which referral r e c o m m e n d a t i o n s will be given. The three interpretations are: • Screening results not consistent with harmful levels of alcohol use.

• Screening results may indicate the individual is drinking in a way that may be affecting their performance at work or school and interactions with other people. The inmore ALCOHOL on 9

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7 j l Gotcha! Ranchor focuses on humor Ranchor, pages 5-8.

Contemporary Motions holds show April 1 and 8 Intermission, page I I.

Visiting Writers' Series c o n t i n u e s Intermission, page I I.

Baseball team about to begin league play Sports, p a g e 12.

the Anchor

C a m p u s Beat LEADING T H E W A Y : Max

DePree, chair emeritus of Herman Miller, Inc. gave a lecture entitled "Does Leadership have a Future?'1 on Wednesday, March 29 as the final address in the 1999-2000 Presidential Speaker Series.

Anchor p h o t o

by C a r r i e A r n o l d

MISSION f r o m

A p r i l 5, 2000

Milestone h o n o r e d by CSPA JULIE GREEN cam pus beat editor

Two years ago. the Milestone had to be relumed lo the publisher. And again last year, the yearbook had to be returned, again delaying its release date.

But all the hard work was worth it. At a national conference for yearbooks, sponsored by the Columbia Scholastic Press Association (CSPA), the 1999 Milestone was awarded a "2000 Gold Crown Award" for general excellence. The Milestone was one of four yearbooks out of 500 entered yearbooks to receive the award. " I t ' s nice to see our work rewarded," said Amanda Black ('99), Milestone co-editor-in-chief for the last two years. "We knew it was that

good, that was one of our goals."

CSPA also awarded individual categories with "2000 College Gold Circle Awards." The Milestone was honored in five categories. Christy Colbrunn ('99) and Nikelle Johnson ( ' 9 9 ) for " O p e n i n g and C l o s i n g Spread Design."

Colbrunn, J o h n s o n , and Black for " T h e m e Selection and D e v e l o p m e n t . " Colbrunn. Johnson, and Emily Gisleson ( ' 0 1 ) for "Student L i f e Spread," Johnson and current coeditor-in-chief Kiisten Lamers ('02) for "Sports Spread," and Andrew Kleczek ('02) for "Sports Writing."

"It's an honor to be recognized nationally, but it's great to be reco g n i z e d on c a m p u s , " s a i d this year's co-editor-in-chief Beth Bailey ('00).

Black was happy that she was

able to prove the value of the yearbook last year after the problems of the previous year.

"There were loo many mistakes [in the 1998 yearbook] that weren't ours—it was really disappointing to see what they relumed to us," Black said. "It was hard working with he staff after we had such a bad year."

T h e awards for the 1999 yearbook has helped to motivate the staff of the 2000 yearbook. " T h i n g s are going very well," Bailey said. "We've met our first deadline, and we have a lot more student involvement this year."

The 2000 yearbook is planning lo have a new look this year. " W e ' v e strayed from the traditional because it's 2000. We definitely like to be repeal winners," Bailey said.

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T h e y plan to sel up tables in Phelps and Cook to take donations throughout the next two weeks, and will work with Resident Assistants in the residence halls to educate Hope students about the scholarship program and how they can help.

Trip members have also contacted Greek organizations to help conduct larger events.

Although the Jubilee Partners Mission Group did not sel a monetary goal for this year, they plan to

set one over the s u m m e r for next fall.

"I j u s t hope they can get the same opportunities that we do," said trip m e m b e r Lindsay Johnville ('02).

"Hearing their stories, we don't understand how privileged we really are. It can change their life and hopefully make it belter for their country."

The program allows the donors to communicate with the student

they are sponsoring, so they can form a relationship with that person and follow ihem through their college years.

"It's not like you're just giving money," VanDerWende said.

"You'll be able to see your money go to work. It's so cheap, and it could change their lives."

People interested in donating to the program or helping out with f u n d r a i s i n g should contact A m y Otis at 395-7605.

W O R L D WORKERS:

Nicaraguan students Maria Jose, 19, and Jennifer, 25, are working at Jubilee Partners. The women come from a country where the average income is under $1 per day, and a student's college education can be funded for $250 per year.

Anchor p h o t o courtesy A m y Otis

SMILES & S U N S H I N E Julie Green and Carrie Arnold

campus brief Fountain ofYouth take her Cadillac out on it, for But experience by experience, The last thing we expected lo fear of rolling off. But we swore we all adjusted to each other's find in Dungannon. Va. was it was level. All in all, we learned different life rhythms through vitamin D milk. A whole fridge to appreciate a few minor details hikes in the forest, accidental full of it. Bui there it was, lo of life on our mission trip. dunkings in the river, and, greet us bright and early every • Rainbows after the rain can perhaps best of all. the work we morning. make it all worth while • Rocks were able to do. After we drove Whole milk was our group's were made for climbing, and down the twisly-tumy mountain first shared experience on our rivers for falling into • There can roads to our worksite, we were mission trip. But it wasn't long never be loo many waterfalls • greeted by Granny in her Cadillac until we had accumulated so Love comes in many forms • (that is lo say. her beloved many, we could scarcely Eighty year old men can be fun wheelchair) who entertained us remember them all. Considering to dance with • Calculus isn't with stories about her beauty we began this trip as virtual that bad, as long as U + M E = U S • pageant-winning granddaughter, strangers, it's amazing that we You still can find candy for 10 Miss Virginia. ended up loving and caring for cents • It's easy not to spend Throughout the week, we each other, rather than antagomoney when there's no place to found a special place in our nizing each other. buy anything • You're never loo hearts for power tools, white Not that we didn't have our old to go flower-picking, or paint, and new lumber. moments. The guys with their follow a river wherever it leads • By the end of the week, we squirt guns deeply felt the The older you get. the younger finished Granny's porch, alrepercussions when some of the you want to be. though she was still scared to girls came after them in the We also leamed middle of the some of the unique night with pronunciations of the frozen hot dogs.

South.

Nina (NeeOur adult nah, as we would leader also say) is really Nyethrew us for a nah, James is Jibit of a loop. imes, and "you While we guys" is "y'aH". learned to But wait! How do appreciate his you spell that? Is it sense of humor "y'all," or "ya'all"? by the end of Us Dungannon folks the trip, it was a are still debating rocky beginning over e-mail as lo the as women spelling, so if "you discovered that Anchor photo c o u r t e s y C a r r i e A r n o l d all" have any feminism was D U N G A N N O N , 2 0 0 0 : Our mission solutions, just e-mail not a universal trip group after we finished building and painting us at the Anchor. concept.

Granny's

porch at the end of the week.

W i l l Miller t o speak Will Miller, the Student Congress Speaker, will speak Tuesday, April 11 at 8 p.m. in the Knickerbocker Theater. Miller, a pop culture analyst and a stand-up comedian for the past 15 years, was chosen by Congress after Sharon Wood, the first female to climb Mt. Everest, had scheduling conflicts.

Miller will speak on the affects of pop culture on personal growth, happiness and fulfillment.

Currently. Congress has also put out f o r m s f o r Student C o n g r e s s elections for president, vice-presi-

dent, and class representatives.

The forms, which anyone can pick up at the Student Union Desk in the DeWitt Center, require 100 student signatures for president and vice-president nominations, and 50 signatures for class representatives.

Signatures for class representatives need lo be from the same class, and all nomination forms are due by April 17.

On April 18 Congress will also release 2000-01 Budget reports for student organizations.

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CAREER SERVICES

WHO WANTS TO BE A ....?

Use your lifelines and find o u t a b o u t m a j o r s and o f f c a m p u s p r o g r a m s at H o p e .

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WHEN: April 6th WHERE: Phelps & Mass TIME: 4 : 3 0 - 6 : 3 0 p . m .

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A p r i l 5. 2000

Anchor

In Focus

QUESTIONABLE from I

Gay-Positive Schools B r o w n University, P r o v i d c n c e , RI

Smith College, N o r t h a m p t o n , M A

C a r l t o n College, N o r t h f i e l d , M N

S t a n f o r d University, S t a n f o r d , C A

E m o r y University, A t l a n t a . G A

U n i v e r s i t y of C a l i f o r n i a , Berkley, C A

H a r v a r d University, C a m b r i d g e , M A

University of Michigan, A n n Arbor, M I

O b e r l i n College, O b e r l i n , O H

Yale University, N e w H a v e n , C T

f Questionable Schools for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered Students Baylor University, W a c o , T X

University of Missouri, C o l u m b i a , M O

D a r t m o u t h College, Hanover, N H

U n i v e r s i t y o f P i t t s b u r g h , P i t t s b u r g h , PA

E m p o r i a State University, E m p o r i a ,

U n i v e r s i t y of R i c h m o n d , R i c h m o n d ,

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H o p e College, H o l l a n d , M I

VA V a n d e r b i l t University, Nashville, T N

ior," Frost said. "(Homosexual] students must be able to fully e n g a g e in the a c a d e m i c p r o g r a m and be free f r o m any intimidation or h a r m . " Although Hope does not have any official support groups for G L B T students, G.L.O.B.E. (Gay, Lesbian, or Bisexual Equality) serves the campus community without official recognition. " W e ' r e not formally recognized. I think a lot of it has to do with m o n e y

now 85 m e m b e r s strong. Students w h o h a v e q u e s t i o n s about their sexuality can speak to a faculty contact, w h o s e o f f i c e d o o r will be m a r k e d with a G . L . O . B . E . " S a f e Space" sticker.

Students can also access G.L.O.B.E. on-line at globehope@hotmail.com. " I ' m the only person w h o checks the e-mail," Folta said. "We think ensuring confidentiality is very important."

G . L . O . B . E . , which has existed under different names for over 2 0 years, seeks to support G L B T students, educate the c a m p u s and comm u n i t y a b o u t G L B T issues, and provide a safe setting conducive to positive interaction for G L B T stu-

and f u n d i n g , " said G.L.O.B.E. president Sheri Folta ( ' 0 1 ) . " W e ' v e realized there are advantages to not being recognized. We can do whatever we want without interference."

G . L . O . B . E . has never formally applied for campus recognition, nor does it plan to in the near future.

Instead, Folta hopes to seek recognition in other ways. " W e ' v e tried to write up a couple constitutions, but w e ' v e ran into road blocks along the way," Folta said.

T h e group has chosen to expand its list of faculty contacts, which is

dents and others.

"I think tolerance is a very good w o r d . " F o l t a said. " W e need to teach love and not j u d g e m e n t . I c a m e to Hope because I thought it was a liberal arts college with a Christian background. It's turned out to be not so loving."

Frost says the college is committed to ongoing conversation about these issues and still feels Hope is a good place for students.

"We have an obligation to show Christian hospitality here, and state schools don't have that," Frost said. " H o p e is a good place for students.

T h e r e ' s always going to be tension, but tension is what college is all about. Tension allows us to learn and change and grow."

University of N o t r e D a m e , South Bend, U n i t e d States N a v a l A c a d e m y

IN

Yeshiva University. N e w York, N Y

positive if they met the following criteria: whether or not the school had and communicated on an inclusive policy of non-discrimination, whether it offered domestic partnership benefits to staff, faculty and students, whether or not the school has an office of G L B T affairs and whether or not it is supported by the administration.

Several of these criteria are in conflict with Hope College's Institutional Statement on Homosexuality.

"We are a college which is affiliated with the Reformed Church and a practicing homosexual life-style does not c o n f o r m to those beliefs," s a i d D e a n of S t u d e n t s R i c h a r d Frost. " T h o s e guidelines would not be in f u l f i l l m e n t of the mission statement."

Frost added that Hope's Christian c o m m i t m e n t requires the school to e x u d e love.

"We can love the individuals and provide them with Christian hospitality but not condone the behav-

Anchors Away

Cruise to the Kletz Tuesday, April 11 from 11:00 a.m. - 1 : 3 0 p.m.

A * Visit and feast on Alaskan. Hawaiian & Authentic Mexican fare for only $4.95

R A N D O M SAMPLINGS Jane Bast

O

Healing our Sunburn Over Spring Break, I charbroiled my skin.

The last day on the beach, I decided to not wear sunscreen. I wanted to show people that I went south, that I got some color while I w a s gone. I got color alright-fire-engine fuchsia.

T h e burn was especially bad on my legs. For a few days, I couldn't bend my knees when I walked. I sort of waddled f r o m room to room, like a pregnant woman in her last trimester. My skin was a furnace of heat.

Every lime I rubbed aloe on it to kill the pain, the aloe melted and ran off my legs in a puddle.

What fascinates me about sunburn is the extreme sensitivity of burned skin. W h e n I was burned, my nerves were so acute I could feel my leg hairs growing. Every cotton fiber in a T-shirt aggravated the skin on my back. It was as if a microphone amplified the pain on each burnt square inch of my body.

My sunburn was so painful. I wished I could simply forget about it. But forgetting about my sunburn didn't make it go away. I couldn't j u m p in a hot shower and pretend like nothing was wrong, like the hot water didn't make m e writhe in agony.

In fact, ignoring my sunburn

would have robbed m e of the opportunity to heal it.

Recently, a New York based magazine cited Hope as a questionable school for homosexual students to attend.

It didn't interview any students, faculty or administration. It saw H o p e ' s lack of support groups and programs and gave the school a negative label.

News like this doesn't make m e happy, and I don't have f u n reporting it. It's like having a painful, aggravating sunburn.

But just like a sunburn, ignoring bad news w o n ' t make it go away.

Contrary to what you may think, most student reporters aren't out here to make the school look bad, or to bash certain c a m p u s groups or programs.

We simply report the stories as they c o m e and hope that by doing so, we can make a difference and change Hope for the better.

When you have a bad sunburn, dermatologists tell you to rub aloe on your fried skin.

Aloe can help moisturize and heal sunburned skin as well as alleviate some of the pain.

It's our j o b as a c a m p u s to apply the aloe. If a controversy

threatens to engulf Hope, as students we should arm ourselves with the aloe of compassion and humility rather than burning words and accusations.

T h e importance of healthy, respectful conversation when discussing controversial issues was driven home to me earlier last month.

I attended, along with some 50 other students and faculty members, a discussion, cosponsored by R.I.S.E. and the C o o k Hall Residence Life staff, on the role of spirituality in the classroom.

W h a t could have been a defensive shout-fest instead was a wonderful example of what Hope can be when we try hard.

People expressed and listened to contrasting opinions. N o one pointed fingers. No o n e rolled his or her eyes.

Instead, w e discussed a sensitive topic with maturity, like the adults we are. I came away with a greater appreciation for both our school and the students who attend it. It was like aloe for my soul.

Now maybe I ' m stretching the analogy a bit far, but I truly believe that w e ' r e all burn victims in one way or another.

We can also be nurses, if we give ourselves the chance.

Watch our own Chef Bob do a beautiful ice carving right in the Kletz

% 4 * I nter to win great prizes I f c G c t extra chances to win prizes the week of April 3 with each SI0.00 Debit card deposit you make

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Bon Voyage at the Kletz! 速 Whether you run like a or wore like a

sign tp for -the Tri-ee+a Survival of -foe fittest sk run/Walk on April v]\ Eniry forms are available a+ Yvt SUD and the Biology Office. forms must be iurned in by April is There is a to en-fry tee AH parfieipan+s receive a free T-shirf P r o f i f s f o benefif

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O p i n i o n

our voice.

A WORD

H o p e C o l l e g e ' s l i s t i n g in t h e N e w Y o r k m a g a z i n e M e t r o s o u r c e as a questionable college for h o m o s e x u a l students should serve as a w a k e up call to a c o m m u n i t y that h a s u s e d h e a l i n g as an e x c u s e for t o o long.

Equally disturbing are statements m a d e by Richard F r o s t . D e a n of S t u d e n t s , w h o is q u o t e d this w e e k a s s a y i n g h o m o s e x u a l s t u d e n t s d o not c o n f o r m to the b e l i e f s of the R e f o r m e d C h u r c h .

It's n o w o n d e r that h o m o s e x u a l s t u d e n t s o f t e n d o n ' t f e e l w e l c o m e o r c o m f o r t a b l e at H o p e . If c o l l e g e o f f i c i a l s are m a k i n g t h e s e s t a t e m e n t s , then the intolerance that e x i s t s at H o p e is m u c h w o r s e t h a n p r e v i o u s l y t h o u g h t .

If t h i s is g o i n g t o b e t h e a d m i n i s t r a t i o n ' s a t t i t u d e , t h e n G . L . O . B . E . o b v i o u s l y d o e s not w a n t to b e c o m e an official, recognized organization. T h e group can operate better without their " h e l p . " O n e of the c o l l e g e ' s t h e m e w o r d s has b e e n " h e a l i n g " this year, o f t e n r e f e r r i n g to the c o n t r o v e r s y of last spring, c u l m i n a t i n g in t h e l e c t u r e s o f a " h e a l e d " h o m o s e x u a l and a homosexual minister.

B u i w h a t h a s t h a t h e a l i n g l e d t o ? If c u r r e n t c a m p u s a t t i t u d e s a n d b e l i e f s a r e a n y i n d i c a t i o n , t h e n H o p e is n o f u r t h e r a l o n g than the c o l l e g e w a s last year.

H o p e s e e m s t o b e c o n t e n t t o j u s t let i s s u e s d i e a w a y slowly without a n y attempt to m o v e them forward. T h e o v e r r i d i n g a t t i t u d e o f t h e c o l l e g e is t h a t c o n t r o v e r s y i s s o b a d t h a t it s h o u l d n e v e r b e a d d r e s s e d . E v e n if t h a t means making things worse.

The college's attitudes toward homosexuality are archaic. T h e R e f o r m e d C h u r c h of A m e r i c a ' s current s t a n c e o n h o m o s e x u a l i t y w a s d e s c r i b e d in t h e F e b . 2 4 , 1999 issue of the A n c h o r . A m o n g the areas of a g r e e m e n t w a s this s t a t e m e n t : " T h e c h u r c h n e e d s to r e p e n t of its failure to minister to people w h o are h o m o s e x u a l and t h e p a i n it h a s s o m e t i m e s i n f l i c t e d u p o n t h e m . T h i s includes a c o m m i t m e n t to refrain f r o m language w h i c h d e m e a n s , d e h u m a n i z e s , a n d in o t h e r w a y s e r o d e s a p e r s o n ' s s e n s e o f t h e i r c r e a t i o n in t h e i m a g e o f G o d . " If t h i s is t h e R C A ' s s t a n c e t h e n H o p e m a y n e e d t o f i n d a n e w affiliation. T h e s t a n c e s that H o p e g e n e r a l l y t a k e s on h o m o s e x u a l i t y set t h e c o l l e g e b a c k 5 0 y e a r s . T h e r e ' s an issue that n e e d s healing.

meet the press

sports e d i t o r intermission e d i t o r spotlight e d i t o r infocus e d i t o r photo editor ad representative ad designer

Carrie

SAC's choice for emcee a poor representation

Arnold

To the Editor:

Julie Green Andrew Kleczek

I had the opportunity to attend the Talent Jam this past weekend and was not in the least way disappointed with the performances. I am sure the SAC committee judges had a difficult time selecting the winners.

Along those same lines, I am sure the SAC committee had a hard time selecting the emcee for the show.

However, their selection was not one to be commended. I was disappointed with the language and gestures used by the emcee as he tried to amuse the audience between acts.

Towards the end of the show in par-

Matt Cook Andrew l^)tz Jane

Bast

Jennifer Bodine Kate Van Krimpen Dana Lamers Melissa Roop

copy e d i t o r

Doug

distribution m g r .

Sweetser

Christine Trinh Chad Sampson

p r o d u c t i o n assistant graphic a r t i s t

Tim Boudreau

faculty advisor

The president comes next, if I do not hale Hope College. I only because the Board is the am noi trying to bring Hope boss. The administration follows College to the ground, and I am Michael Zuidema his orders, which are often not sorry that I attend Hope isn't even close to being represenrelayed to faculty and staff.

College. tative of the college breakdown.

This leaves a large bottom Having said that, let me add Each board or committee has segment known as the students, that Hope has a whole lot of about three students, three whose function is to go to classes problems. More problems than administrators and three faculty because without students, well, anyone is going to voice. members. Adding more students there's no college.

There seems to be this growing lo even out the proportions would It doesn't make sense to treat belief that Hope lives in a world not mean that the college would the students as though they don't where nothing is wrong. No cease needing administrators. matter. They shell out $20,000controversies exist, no one does What this would mean is the plus a year and will eventually anything wrong, and certainly voice of the students would have become the alumni whose money with all the healing that this much more influence than it the college cherishes so much. To college advertises there are no currently has, and since all undermine their role in campus open wounds. decisions will directly affect the life wouldn't be practical. Yet this Drinking? Never, Hope's a dry students, it only makes sense to is exactly what happens. campus. Sexual assault? That's let them have a larger say.

No one knows how big a role for the non-God fearing to As it stands now, our own the commit. apathy has done nothing but Intolerance? Hope has created the image of students perpetuate silence and the have. All Hey, we're a holy, private school that problems that currently exist. The operations healing that. kill themselves at Hope are students have been conditioned to This naive college officials fear administrators. They have run under notion is to preserve. been told that nothing good can strict harbored by come out of raising issues, like secrecy, and any inquiry into how students, homosexuality or pluralism. they are run will only gel you a staff, faculty, administration, the Instead the college has prostem look and short answer.

Board of Trustees, alumni, moted healing which, as far as For example, last year when a parents, and the community. Hope anyone can tell, equals silence. new president was being selected is the end-all-be-all of Western Already those in power have I had the opportunity to meet with Michigan and college officials made it highly undesirable to the two finalists. I filled out a will be darned if that isn't question things. Any voice of short survey that asked for my portrayed to the people who dissension is seen as whining, impressions of each candidate and matter the most: the money that was that. What happened with troublemaking, or wrong. makers.

Power structures have got to be Hope has created the image of a that survey is a complete mystery. questioned. If they aren't, then For all I know it probably holy, private school that college those in power gain more control ended up in the paper shredder. officials kill themselves to and everyone becomes silenced.

When I asked how the president preserve. And the college will go T h e college is already squashwas selected and what role I to any means to preserve that ing intellectual diversity in favor played in that choice, 1 was given power structure. of ignorant bliss. I ' m not buying an answer along the lines of "your The only thing that this attempt it.

No matter how peaceful the comments will be noted," and that has created is a hierarchy where college portrays things, there are was all. Don't I deserve to know students are shoved to the bottom several voices getting silenced. how they're noted? and their voices silenced. Alumni Many by students themselves.

College officials have created come first because they can But if students at Hope aren't an environment that silences its donate a load of money and are going to fight for the voices they largest population.

Even the followed by the Board of Trustees deserve, then I'm glad I ' m representation of students on the who decides where that money graduating. college's boards and committees soes.

your

Zuidema editor-in-chief Michael p r o d u c t i o n e d i t o r Paul Loodeen campusbeat editors

FROM THE EDITOR...

T h e silencing of H o p e

T h e real healing issue

/ "

A p r i l 5. 2000

staff p h o t o g r a p h e r s Belli Bailey • Jamie Shiparski

staff r e p o r t e r s

ticular, many of the jokes had very blatant sexual connotations and the language was much more vulgar.

This to me seems to be a poor representation of the Hope College S A C committee. If this was a onetime mistake on the c o m m i t t e e ' s part it can be excusable, but I am not sure if it was. If I remember correctly, the emcee for All College Sing was not much better than the Talent Jam emcee; in fact, possibly worse. I would hope that SAC, as they continue to bring in people for these public e v e n t s , might look closer at who they are inviting to our campus.

I cannot imagine that all of the

for Hope

emcee/comedians out there use vulgar language or sexual jokes lo get a laugh out of their audience. 1 suppose not everyone will go away liking everything about the show, but you can uphold some integrity by bringing belter representatives for these events.

And if in fact there are not any decent emcee/comedians out available you can always bring in Drew McCulley ('00). The judges didn't think he was so bad.

B r y a n B o e r s m a COO)

Dawn Dodge

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the Pope College

•

Ranchor LY The Holy Land

• A student-run publication

•

April, 2000 It's all t r u e

S e r v i n g t h e P o p e C o l l e g e C o m m u n i t y f o r o v e r 10 m i n u t e s n o w

Religious fever hits Pope College like nothing we've ever seen. Well, at least since last week.

God releases new, improved, Bible 2 A D A M KANXSAYIX staff r e p o r t e r

In a rare appearance, God announced late Tuesday ihe publicalion of his newest book. Bible II. The new book's goal is to prevem f u n h e r misinterprelalion of G o d ' s will and prevent cruelly in the name ol" religion.

"People have really missed the target on a lot of things." God said in a booming voice. "Doesn't anyone remember that whole 'love thy neighbor' bit?"

"It's been really frustrating being God lately. People hate, persecute, and kill all in my name." God said. "It doesn't reflect very well on me. or religion in general when people do these things."

According to God. the new book will help clear up such issues as pluralism. homosexuality, and the trinity.

"A lot of people will be really surprised when they realize that

they've been speaking and preaching the wrong things" God said.

'It's okay to make theological mistakes, but just remember I never told anyone hate was all right."

Bible II. which should be available early next week, will be published in over 320 different languages and dialects and will come with over 1.000 simple illustrations for the illiterate.

The goal of the multilingual publishing and illustrations is to help prevent further interpretation mistakes.

"One of my favorite things about Bible II is thai it won't need study notes," G o d said. "It's so simple anyone can understand it."

The new book is also shorter than the original version, only covering 150200 pages in most translations.

"Really this will be a nice afternoon read for many people," God said. "You get all your basic moral direction and salvation in this one short handbook. Could I make it any

easier?

Several m a i n s t r e a m Christian denominations have shown some reluctance to adopt the new book until they've had the opportunity to review it.

"I really wish God would have told me about the book before he published it," said a church official who wished to remain anonymous.

"This could really screw things up for a lot of us."

God was reluctant to commit to a book tour, stating his schedule was full for at least the next 1000 years or so. " I ' v e got golf with St. Peter, Andy Kaufman, and Buddha. Then George Bums and I are going out for drinks, and then the weekend is crazy as well. I ' m taking Liberace dancing and I've got a luncheon with Shakespeare, Dante and Hemingway," God said. "Besides the last book was a best seller. I ' m sure this one will be, with or without a book tour."

//

T h e Bible 2

Religion d e p a r t m e n t hires Satan t o p r o m o t e diversity JUNEVASX out of focus editor

The religion department shocked the Pope community when it announced that it has hired Satan for a tenure track position starting next fall. Satan, who for convenience sake will teach under the name Dr. Beal Z. Bub, is excited by the opportunities that a college like Pope brings.

"For too long schools like Pope have taught Christianity and the Bible from a God-dominated perspective." Bub said. "Professors have intentionally d e m o n i z e d me and marginalized my contributions to the Bible, simply because I ' m the Other. At Pope, I have the opportunity to challenge these age-old assumptions."

Bub brings centuries of experience to the department. After failing his undergraduate work in Heaven. Bub moved to the Garden of Eden where his first students were none

other than Adam and Eve. "I taught them the knowledge of good and evil," said Bub. "I thought it would have a great impact on their lives, but I had no idea I'd end up aiding in the fall of the entire human race. That came as a pleasant surprise."

Bub has also tutored such noted historical figures as Cain, Jezebel and Judas Iscariot.

"Don't forget Hilter and Stalin!"

Bub said.

In his first year at Pope. Bub plans to teach several 100 level religion courses as well as some new IDS classes. He will be teaching two sections of a 100 level course entitled, "Everything You Want to Know About Hell But Were Too Afraid to Ask," as well as IDS 283 "Lying, Distortion and Manipulation," which is also open to Communications and Women's Studies majors.

smell ya later.

Ranchor@Pope.Edu (800) H O T - D I G Z

" I ' m very excited about my courses," Bub said. "I think the students will really respond to them, especially since it's so easy to get an A: all you have to do is sell me your soul."

Practices such as s o u l - s e l l i n g have some members of the religion department skeptical about Bub's positive contributions to Pope.

"I don't want to impose my westem, patriarchally dominated morality on anyone," said religion professor Alvin Persay. "But doesn't anyone else think that inviting Satan to teach could have some negative repercussions?"

Bub balks at such insinuations and feels that Pope gives him an opportunity to prove himself.

"About Hell: that whole fire and brimstone thing is way overrated." Bub said. "Hell is a lot like Heaven, except for the pain and suffering."

Despite Bub's assurances, some students remain skeptical about his abilities as a student advisor. " W h e n I asked [Dr. Bub] whether or not I should take Ed psych for my major, he told me to sacrifice children on an altar in devotion to h i m , " said education m a j o r Arnie Basker ( 4 02). "Then he told me to bow down and worship him. I don't know if I should take him seriously or not."

Spanish major K.D. Velcro (*01) found that Bub was unresponsive to his questions.

"I asked him if I should study abroad for a semester," Velcro said. "He never answered my question. Instead he just muttered 'El diablo es muy bueno,' over and over again."

Bub b r u s h e s these critiques aside and hopes people will look past the stereotypes they have grown up with. " I ' m not such a bad guy," Bub said. " I ' m just really misunderstood. Students need to give evil a chance. 4 1

I Pope t o change Flying Danish to less o f f e n s i v e ethnic logo, p a g e 2.

Female classmate totally hot, says m a l e , p a g e 3.

Student censorship committee a •b®4good thing, p a g e 2.

Physics s t u d e n t gets rejected again, cites choice of major, Cheetos, p a g e 4.

the

Ranchor

Ranchor

A p r i l 5, 2000

F r a t e r n i t y ' s q u e s t h a l t e d , evil t r i u m p h s "The police impounded my twenty-sided die," said Fraternity ever be found? member Stuart Ellis ('01). " H o w am I supposed to do my ThacO rolls A D A M LESS for my Fire Edge Sword of Ogruk?" darklight editor The alcohol was reported to be Members of a Pope College fra- o b t a i n e d by f r a t e r n i t y m e m b e r lernily lace expulsion after a wild, T e d d y P i n k e r t o n (02), a minor.

Pinkerton admitted to obalcohol fueled session of taining the six-pack of D u n g e o n s and D r a g o n s Miller Light from a friend was busied by the local in exchange for helping police. the friend with his math T h e Minervian Fraterhomework. nity was apprehended in "I just wanted to spice the midst of their annual up the dungeon crawl a Quest for Fizban's Cloak l i t t l e , " said P i n k e r t o n . of Feather Fall event, one "With a little buzz, you of the year's high points j Pinkerton wouldn't believe how hufor f r a t e r n i t y m e m b e r s .

Police found half a six-pack of beer morous my half-giant's fight with and three empty cans, as well as a the savage hafling tribe was. When I picked up their shaman and used whole pile of multisided dice.

•

W7// Fizban's

Cloak

him as a club, we laughed so hard said Pinkerton. " I ' d crack open the ing games that were created by the that we all needed to use our inhal- public safety officers' heads like my devil like Dungeons and Dragons earth m a g e did at t h e b a t t l e of or Barbie Dreamphone." ers."

The fraternity members hope that T h e future Quest for F i z b a n ' s M o r d e n h e i m . T h a t w o u l d b e these punishments will prove to be Cloak of Feather Fall was in ques- schweet." more lenient after the campus life Pope College officials have tion because of the police investiboard hears their case. changed their earlier no comment gation. ' T h e Minervian fraternity is no "We slopped right in the middle position to one of quick action. The different than any other of a battle with Demious Northgut's college intends to pursue fraternity or sorority on goblin h o r d e s a i d fraternity mem- these charges to their full campus," said ber and d u n g e o n m a s t e r L e w i s e x t e n t : r e v o k i n g t h e Honeycutt. "I bet every Honeycutt Jr. (00). " T h e fellows fraternity's charter and exother Greek organization h a v e n ' t even reached the while pelling the participants in gets together on Friday the Quest. dragon's ice cavern, or captured the night to have a beer and "We cannot allow this ballista of +3 avangion slaying." battle Gandolph and his Fraternity members are outraged g r o u p any leniency d e undead liche army. Why at the police's bust, and expressed spite their good record," are we the ones who are their intent to fight the provision of said D e a n of S t u d e n t s L. Honeycutt punished? It's like somealcohol to minor charge being car- Robert Snow. "We cannot one cast Evonne's allow an ounce of alcohol ried by the college.

Unsatiable Curse on us or someon campus, especially when it is "Oh how I wish I had a Mandolf's thing." used in conjunction with role-playMace of Acid Arrows right now,"

H e r b i v o r o u s t r e e - d w e l l e r a t t e n d s Pope

;c nlav my mv m u s i c or a n y here and get the tood food Btcessary necessary for I play m u l t i c u l t u r a l li i: ff eA, is the survival of their species," said thing, because he's always pleased that Smith brings Rob VanHookynm, director of Arthe ground sloths, once sleeping." more diversity to Pope.

W h e n he is a w a k e . tistic Food Services. "Sloths are no ranged into areas of "Not many students Smith can be very territo- exception." have been e x p o s e d to North America.

Smith, an accounting major, does rial, especially to m e m members of different spenot travel the same way as most bers of the same sex.

MERV C R O N K cies," Ployless said.

Pope students either. He prefers to " H e strikes out at me fish and game "There is a lot we can learn c l i n g e r e c t t o t r e e t r u n k s and with his long curved claws Going to bed at 5 p.m. and sleep- from them." branches, or hang upside down and that are sharp enough to He feels that this will ing until I p.m. the next day may move with extreme slowness. c a u s e d e e p w o u n d s and not be the usual routine for a typi- expand on the existing diWhen he is forced to move on the are also adapted to support cal P o p e C o l l e g e s t u d e n t , b u t versity at Pope. ground, he does so by pulling himhim while he is hanging " N o w not only do we Howard Smith ( 4 03) is not a typiself along with his claws. Unfortuupside down from cal Pope College student. He is a have black and white stunately, this leaves Smith as easy branches," VanPoog said.

South A m e r i c a n t h r e e - t o e d tree dents. but we have a stuDespite the fact the no prey for jaguars and other predators. dent with shaggy yellowsloth (Bradypus tridactylus).

However, Smith has found a three toed sloth has surSmith, who comes to Pope from to-brown fur. which in the niche in the water. v i v e d m o r e than a f e w his home in the Brazilian rain for- wild has a g r e e n i s h lint " H e can swim well, and he can m o n t h s in c a p t i v i t y , est, is a tree-dwelling mammal be- from the algae that inhabit Anchor photo by S v e n P o b e e n survive immersion better than other mostly due to their sole longing to an order of animals that it," Ployless said.

H A N G I N G OUT": Howard Smith diet of t h e l e a v e s of a land m a m m a l s , " said Jim Spatnot, S m i t h ' s transition into includes the armadillo and the antCOS) in his natural habitat. trumpet tree (Cecropia), Smith's health dynamics professor. cater. He can be distinguished by life at Pope has been fairly Smith, who is generally silent, Artistic Food Services does not feel his rounded head, inconspicuous smooth, but there have been some hours a day. I don't know how he declined comment, although he ocever makes it to class everyday," this will be a problem. ears, flattened face, and forelimbs problems, especially when it comes casionally uttered a shrill cry or a "Our philosophy is that any Pope said J e r e m y V a n P o o g , S m i t h ' s that are longer than his hind limbs. to his unusual sleep schedule. hiss.

"Sometimes he sleeps up to 20 Spoil Hall roommate. "1 can never student should be able to come in K. Beasley Ployless, director of .

•

...

. . .

His extinct

i

relatives,

-v

Boring newspaper copies funny one

meet the guys

• t h e b i t t e r guy Michael Zuidema t h e guy w h o just sits Paul Loodeen t w o guys Carrie Arnold t h e n a k e d guy t h e a r t s y guy t h e guy n o b o d y r e a d s t h e c o w guy t h e p i c t u r e guy t h e m o n e y guy t h e q u i t t e r guy t h e s e m i - c o l o n guy t h e guy w i t h t h e c a r t h e c o m p u t e r guy t h e h a i r y guy who?

Julie Green Andrew Kleczek Matt Cook Andrew Lotz Jane Bast Jennifer Bodine Kate Van Krimpen Dana Lamers Melissa Roop Doug Sweetser Christine Trinh Chad Sampson Tim Boudreau

s o m e m o r e guys Beth Bailey • Jamie Shiparski

t h e only guy Dawn Dodge

TV/. R,iiiilh>r

is a pnHhu t of suns vffon and is funded ilimunh the Pope College Guy Conunilii'i'.

Lciiers !<> the guys are eiuouruged. rhough due 10 »/»,/,» lonitonons ihe Rom hot n setM S the right to edit The guys addressed in the editorial nr, solelv IIIOM of the gux-in-ehief.

Stories/mm the Pope College News Seniee ore A i of the Con Relations Ofiu e One year subscriptions to the Ranchor are available rrodu. lor Si J. Ul- reserve the right to accept or reject any guys.

H o w could . . -

they

be SO

paweilC. A D A M LESS darklight editor In an attempt to bring some humor to an otherwise bland and unfunny college publication, the staff of the Ranchor blatantly copied the humor and style of a hilarious online newspaper.

The Ranchor, the campus newspaper of Pope College, has been looking for ways to r e - v a m p its tired and boring trend of reporting the news of the college.

"Last week we covered religious unrest among the students, a sexual assault, and an o f f - c a m p u s party that was busted by the police," said Editor-in-Chief Ike Zoetewey. "But that stuff just isn't funny."

The Ranchor, in an attempt to deal with the rash of serious coverage of important issues on campus.

s e e m e d v e r y r e c e p t i v e to t h e change, especially after the message from the administration and student body that they don't want to hear the truth about Pope College."

The Onion's style of satirical articles and over-the-top commentary seemed like the perfect fit for the struggling Ranchor. " I ' m tired of writing wrap-ups of S U C events for the c a m p u s b e a t pages," said section editor Janette Gray. "I want to make up some hilarious false articles like 'Bigfoot spotted in O a k Knoll' or T o p e a tolerant community for persons of other religions.' Now that's funny."

The administration of Pope College is also supportive of the format change to made-up news.

Onion.

"We m a k e up the truth about "I w a s reading the O n i o n the Pope College in every press release other day," said Charles Sanford, or page of admissions information," the Ranchor's graphic artist, "and I said President J i m b o Boltmanis. was laughing a lot. I never laugh when I read the Ranchor. So I sug- "It's nice to see that the Ranchor has gested we try the change. The staff finally come on board."

decided to move in a new direction.

"We received a lot of criticism for actually covering the news of Pope College," said Zoetewey. "It seems that the students and administration of Pope College simply don't want to hear the truth about problems on campus. We take that criticism seriously, and decided to change the format of the paper to never cover such serious p r o b l e m s as h o m o sexual intolerance and under-age drinking again. T h e community of Pope has spoken, and we have listened."

In their attempt to breathe life into the stale paper, the Ranchor has decided to copy the format of a hum o r o u s on-line p u b l i c a t i o n , the

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Bug f o u n d in Ranchor office â&#x20AC;˘ Campus newspaper discovers small microphone in office ceiling.

c o m e out of my m o u t h , they will

the infestation of listening d e v i c e s

be c o r r e c t e d right a w a y . " The hidden microphones were

has b r o u g h t to c a m p u s . " W e c o u l d n ' t ask for a belter situa t i o n , " said D i r e c t o r of P u b l i c

first d i s c o v e r e d in the R a n c h o r o f f i c e , i n s i d e the c e i l i n g tiles, but w e r e later d i s c o v e r e d to be placed in nearly e v e r y student, faculty, and

A D A M

LESS

darklight editor

Sludenis are f e e l i n g a lol s a f e r now k n o w i n g lhal the adminisiralion of Pope C o l l e g e is listening to their every conversation. T h i s sense of securily stems f r o m the d i s c o v ery of m i c r o p h o n e b u g s in e a c h and

Beautification T i m Runner. " D a n g e r o u s g r o u p s like t h e R a n c h o r a r e n ' t e v e n putting up a fight a n y -

staff o f f i c e on c a m p u s .

Traditionally non-beautiful organ i z a t i o n s on P o p e ' s c a m p u s like W o m e n ' s Interference Organization

m o r e . I h a v e a lot m o r e free lime n o w that the voice of the sludenl

and G . L . O . B . also s e e m e d support-

I d o n ' t e v e n need to tell them to do it. T h o s e m i c r o p h o n e h e a d s a n d

ive of the idea.

"Certainly w e were a little c o n -

b o d y is a w a l e r e d - d o w n version of official admissions statements. A n d

hidden c a m e r a e y e s take care of it

BIG

B R O T H E R

I S L I S T E M I N G : And

themselves."

R u n n e r is p l e a s e d at h o w well

we couldn V be more pleased!

Pope appears to b e a d i v e r s e c a m pus n o w lhal the student voice has

" N o w it i s n ' t just o u r a d m i s s i o n s

" S i l e n c i n g sludenl o r g a n i z a t i o n s

material that uses the s a m e photo

b e e n silenced. " W e used to h a v e the p r o b l e m of

of the s a m e A f r i c a n A m e r i c a n student over and over and o v e r a g a i n . "

is only the first s t e p , " said Runner. " N o w w e need to e n s u r e lhal each

s l u d e n i s actually telling the truth

of thinking for m y s e l f . I k n o w that

voices."

T h e Public Beautification o f f i c e

Plans to e x p a n d the m i c r o p h o n e

a b o u t the e u r o c e n l r i c n a t u r e of

s y s t e m to e a c h d o r m r o o m are un-

saying something lhal d o e s n ' t fit the white protestant world of Pope Col-

if any of those bad' thoughts should

is pleased with the quick results that

P o p e ' s sludenl body," said Runner.

der way.

lege."

every student organization o f f i c e on campus.

"Frankly, I couldn't be happier

cerned at first with the w h o l e ' B i g B r o t h e r ' thing," said Kristin J o y f u l ( ' 0 0 ) . " B u t after a c o u p l e of minutes in that rat c a g e m a s k , I real-

a b o u t the h i d d e n m i c r o p h o n e s , "

ized that I really d o love H o p e ' s

said R a n c h o r E d i t o r - i n - C h i e f Ike Z o e t e w e y . "It saves m e the trouble

m a r g i n a l i z a t i o n of n o n - W A S P

and e v e r y sludenl lives in f e a r of

Suspicious S m o k e

rrorscopes

A D A M

" T h a t ' s just o r e g a n o , " said

LESS

Theisen. "I like oregano. But I d o n ' t

darklight editor

b u m it. I, uh, put it, uh, on my f o o d .

Scott A d a m s o n , a s e n i o r and dor-

M a r c h 21- A p r i l 19: W e k n o w w h a t ' s best for you. T h a t ' s why w e ' r e writing these h o r r o r s c o p e s . W h e n we say. w e a r a purple t h o n g f o r g o o d luck t o m o r r o w , y o u ' d better believe lhal w e ' r e telling the truth. If y o u

s

d o n ' t , y o u ' l l hurt o u r feelings.

A p r i l 2 0 - M a y 2 0 : It's n o t s o m u c h the heat, it's the humidity that kills y o u . A n d w h y is it that every l i m e y o u flush the toilets in the Dykstra b a t h r o o m s , t h e d a m n things o v e r f l o w ? B u y a pair of g a l o s h e s this m o n t h b e f o r e you use the s h o w e r , or y o u ' l l understand w h y g o n o n h e a a i n ' t pretty.

M a y 2 1 - J u n e 2 1 : O u r e x - b o y f r i e n d is a G e m i n i , and for that reason the c o s m i c forces h a v e it in for you this m o n t h . D u d e , you are totally s c r e w e d . H a h a h a ha ha. W e s u g g e s t investing in a m e a t h e l m e t .

June 22-July 2 2 : C a n c e r ? W h a t kind of sign is lhal? Just t h i n k i n g

mitory hall m o n i t o r on the s e c o n d floor of Colon Hall, is gelling a little s u s p i c i o u s a b o u t the w e e k e n d activities within r o o m 2 4 3 .

"I started to notice s m o k e a b o u t

w h i s k e r s o n k i t t e n s . . . G o o d lord d o we need a drink.

still c o n c e r n e d .

"I s a w this m o v i e o n c e , w h e r e

f o u r w e e k s a g o , " said A d a m s o n .

"Actually, I s m e l l e d it first. It w a s

a n d e v e r y b o d y ' s teeth falls o u t , "

a thick m u s k y odor, a lol like the s e e m of the T o m Petty c o n c e r t I

said A d a m s o n . " R o b and A l e x still h a v e all their teeth, bul I did hear

w e n t to this past s u m m e r . I think

that they ale an entire j a r of peanut

s o m e t h i n g m i g h t b e g o i n g on in

butler and a w h o l e b o x of Saltines

there."

The green haze appears every

in one silling last S a t u r d a y . "

Friday and Saturday night, issuing

T h e s e a p p e a r a n c e s are not an isolated p h e n o m e n o n . C o l l e g e Histo-

into the h a l l w a y f r o m the b o t t o m of

rian Alvin Burgess r e m e m b e r s a

the d o o r of r o o m 243. A n u m b e r of different students c o m e and g o f r o m

s i m i l a r set of o c c u r r e n c e s 3 5 years

noise. " T h e other night, they w e r e all

get a d e c e n t sign already? S o m e t h i n g happy, like r a i n d r o p s o n r o s e s , or

s m o k e as inhaler mist, A d a m s o n is

this lady d i s c o v e r s a space s h i p and the g r e e n fog t a k e s o v e r the t o w n

the r o o m , and t h e r e is o f t e n a lol of

a b o u t you d e p r e s s e s us. G o s h , w h y d o n ' t you get your act together and

Yeah, on m y f o o d . " D e s p i t e the e x p l a n a t i o n of the

J u l y 2 3 - A u g . 2 2 : Oh m y g o o d n e s s , y o u are s o hoi. Will you sing that

l a u g h i n g and shouting a b o u t s o m e m o v i e they s a w w h e n they w e r e

Titanic s o n g just for us? Please? W e d o n ' t w a n t scare y o u . but w e had

kids," said n e i g h b o r R o g e r Van

y o u r n a m e tattooed o n o u r left butt c h e e k . Y o u ' r e the k i n g of o u r world,

Delf. ' T h e n , when I w a l k e d out into

ago.

"It w a s a b o u t 1964 w h e n the rep o r t s of b i t t e r - s m e l l i n g g r e e n s m o k e in d o r m r o o m s started app e a r i n g , " said B u r g e s s . " T h e trend c o n t i n u e d well into the 1970s, bul petered out in the 1980s w h e n we started seeing a lot of b l o o d y n o s e s

the hall to the b a t h r o o m to lake m y retainer out. I noticed s m o k e c o m -

and b a g s of f l o u r in the d o r m s . It

noiiced that cute guy in bio g l a n c i n g at y o u today, y o u sexy thang, y o u .

ing f r o m u n d e r the d o o r . " T h e residents of r o o m 2 4 3 . R o b

G o b u y yourself s o m e c h o c o l a t e . You d e s e r v e it.

Theisen and Alex Hartin, assure that

be back."

T h e i s e n is w o r r i e d that he is rec e i v i n g u n d u e attention for this oc-

S e p t e m b e r 22: First of all. let us j u s t say that you look gorgeous today. A n d w h a t h a v e y o u d o n e to y o u r h a i r ? It's simply ravishing. We

l o o k s like the g r e e n s m o k e might

inhaler," said T h e i s e n . "I w a s , like,

currence. " T h e g u y s d o w n t h e hall h a v e , like, a q u a r t e r - p o u n d b a g of meth,

l o v e y o u as m u c h w h e n y o u ' r e o l d e r unless y o u pay t h e m to b e y o u r

s p r a y i n g it and stuff, and it m u s t

and n o b o d y ' s bothering t h e m , " said

friends. If you do, d o n ' t tell a n y o n e or you w o n ' t be nearly so popular.

h a v e gotten u n d e r the d o o r . "

Theisen.

W h i l e t h e s m o k e is c a u s i n g a

the s m o k e is of no i m p o r t a n c e . " U m . . . T h a t w a s like, my a s t h m a

S e p t . 23- O c t . 2 3 : Since y o u r sign contains t h e w o r d " b r a , " w e can tell y o u ' r e s u r r o u n d e d by a lot of p o s i t i v e support. But p e o p l e w o n ' t

Hartin declined c o m m e n t , and

O c t . 24- Nov. 2 1 : D i d n ' t you think that M a c S c o r p i o f r o m G e n e r a l

instead giggled and a s k e d for an-

Hospilal w a s h o t w h e n you w e r e in sixth g r a d e ? H e w a r l i k e the only

other bag of Doritos.

A n e x a m i n a t i o n of t h e r o o m p r o v e d to u n c o v e r no source f o r the

h o i guy on lhal s h o w for years. Until L u c k y c a m e along. But then the hot L u c k y left the s h o w and n o w M a c looks like booty. O h well.

Nov. 2 2 - D e c . 2 1 : W e ' r e hungry. O r d e r us s o m e P a p a Johns or else w e ' l l hex you or s o m e t h i n g . A n d while y o u ' r e at it, get yourself a haircut.

i

SAGIITARIUS

m y s t e r i o u s green s m o k e . T h e only possibility w a s the cooking supplies that T h e i s e n has slashed u n d e r his mattress.

little bit of speculation by the C o lon Hall staff, it s e e m s that its app e a r a n c e is not bothering students in the least.

"I w e n t o v e r to T h e i s e n and H D o g ' s last w e e k e n d m a n , and it w a s a blast," said sophomore Nate T r i c u l o . " W e got b a k e d together."

D e c . 2 2 - J a n . 1 9 : Lisa L i n g is n o w advertising O l d N a v y capri pants.

We think this is a sellout. D o n ' t you r e m e m b e r h o w o n C h a n n e l O n e she used to d o all that h a r d c o r e reporting o n Ecoli and crap? N o w s h e kisses B a r b r a W a l t e r ' s buttocks, w h i c h coincidentally, p u t s h e r at risk f o r c o n t r a c t i n g Ecoli.

P E T A c l a i m s t h a t b e e r is healrhier t h a n milk. Well P E T A . we, the milk indus-

J a n . 2 0 - F e b . 1 8 : W h e n the m o o n is in the seventh h o u s e and J u p i i e r aligns with M a r s , then peace will g u i d e the planet and love will steer the stars.

F e b . 1 9 - M a r c h 20: T h a n k h e a v e n s w e ' r e almost finished with ihese siupid s e l f - i n d u l g e n t cries for help. Seriously, did you honestly think that s o m e n e w s p a p e r prediction could possibly contain any truth lor y o u r life? You should get out m o r e .

try have listened. T h a t ' s w h y f r o m n o w o n , we pledge to only feed our cows pure, O l d c Milwaukee Light.

Beer. It's what's for dinner.

the Ranchor

A p r i l 5. 2000

H e a l t h D y student uses p e r f o r m a n c e enhancers Poorly insists that g r a d e s are based strictly on attendance and ex'special' editor ams and that no student has ever Officials are looking into refor- before used performance enhancing mailing Hcalih Dynamics due lo a drugs.

Mary A. Millionaire ('00) doesn't studenl s use of performance enbelieve Poorly's statement about hancement drugs.

Rob A. Success ('02) admitted to drug use. " S u c c e s s isn't the first lo use using xxxxxx, a drug that allows a person to run quicker and with more drugs. My former roommate did the endurance, to make sure he had a same thing when she took Health Dynamics. She good g r a d e in j ust couldn't Health Dynamhandle the early ics. a c o r e rem o r n i n gs and q u i r e m e n t at the long runs," Pope College.

M y m o m has t h i s said Million" It's so awful fungus aire. much harder problem.

Millionaire these days." he doesn't dissaid. " I want to agree with Sucgo into m e d i â&#x20AC;&#x201D; R o b A . Success c e s s ' u s e of cine and I don't Health Dynamics drugs. want a g y m Student "You do what grade ruining you have to do all that for me."

STOP C H I L D R E N W H A T ' S TH/VT SO to gel through of Pope College President Jimbo Bobmanis saving lives.

S u c c e s s is college. When I h o p i n g to g o took Drawing 1, the University of Michigan for med. school to he- my mom had to draw all my pictures. just so I wouldn't fail," she concerning the new policy on trips, come a foot specialist.

I M A FRAID said.

Poorly d o e s n ' t believe that we decided that the students would "My mom has this awful fungus 'special-special'editor there is loo much pressure on stue m b r a c e this new addition with p r o b l e m . S h e h a s s u f f e r e d her dents or that he grades too harshly. whole life. I want more than anyT h e students of Pope College open arms. Jim, are you going to "They sit and watch 'The Price thing to help people like her-to let used to face unparalleled terror at eat that slice of pepperoni?"

T h e crossing guards will be on them know they are not alone in the is Right' and "Saved by the Bell' rethe mere mention of crossing the world. And one grade could keep runs all day. If anything. Health street, but never fear, those days are duly 24 hours a day. Their j o b will entail walking students and faculty me from all of this-just because I Dynamics should be year long, and gone. couldn't run fast enough," Success my How to Play Miniature Golf for Monday, March 27, President from one side of the street lo the Beginners class should be required said.

Jimbo Boltmanis anounced with a other, paying special attention to Pope C o l l e g e is still d e c i d i n g of every studenl." large grin that Pope College would looking both ways before crossing Punishments for Success have, what to do about this situation be placing crossing guards at all in- and checking to see that all shoenot been decided on yet.

He will laces are tied extra tight to prevent "We've never come across anytersections. thing like this," said Health Dynam- meet with the Dean of Students and "We felt that this decision was accidents.

Poorly on Wednesday. " N o student will be allowed to ics p r o f e s s o r and Putt-putt golf the best way to ensure the safely "All I want to do is learn about coach Mark U. Poorly. "It's insane of... No! My Electrobuzz will de- walk across the street without one that a student believes that we grade foot fungus. The world is desperf e a t y o u r A e r o d a c l y l ! " s a i d of these crossing guards," said a on how well a student runs, or that ately seeking a cure, and maybe, Boltmanis during an intense game random public safley officer. "Any student failing to comply with this one D will keep him f r o m grad. just maybe, I will be the one to disof Pokemon. cover it," Success said. school."

Dean Robert Snow expressed his policy will be crucified in the Pine ^ approval of the idea at the upper grove."

Students are expressing optimisadministration pizza and root-beer tic opinions on the new policy. "I lunch on Tuesday. " D u e to the large amount of student approval am twenty years old and able to be ULIE REEN

U N D ? : That's the sound

C r o s s i n g guards p r e v e n t i n g d e a t h

Guys, can't Understand Women ?

drafted into the military where I could be senl over seas. But I still get shaky when 1 think of crossing the street. I ' m glad the college is finally r e c o g n i z i n g the need for constant supervision." said Jeremy Beamen ('02).

Snow said that if this goes well the college is ready to make many more improvements such putting a playground f o r recess where the C h a p e l n o w s t a n d s , and setting aside the hour between eleven and twelve for nap time. " M y favorite part about nap time is cookies and milk," said Snow as a c h e e r o f " C o o k i e s ! Me want Cookies! rararara!" errupted from Boltmanis' office.

B o l t m a n i s s a y s that the n e w policy will be effective immediatly and that students should not be surprised by the raise in next year's tuition, "Safley has it's price."

S t u d e n t builds c o o l e s t f o r t ever CHIEF C R A Z Y HORSE forts and ramparts editor

Feelyo

t re ate?

Take Women's Siudiesjjnd see things from their point of view

Smurfey Hall is now home to the coolest fort ever, according lo Ryan Vanderstump (02), who constructed the fort in his dorm room 314.

"It's totally impenetrable," Vanderstump said. " I ' m the only one who can let you in, okay, but you have to know the password."

So far. experts have not been able lo crack the password, although they "got really warm," according lo Vanderstump, when they tried the word "Voltron," a reference to a late 1980s cartoon show.

The fort was conceived of and built by Vanderstump early last Saturday morning, ll consists of two chairs pulled out in front of the couch with a blanket draped over them. Two couch cushions are used for the walls of the fori. Poking out from under the blanket, is a cardboard paper towel tube which Vanderstump uses to spy on the outside world.

"Pretend like you don't know I ' m here, but I can see you, okay," Vanderstump said.

Recently, Vanderstump implemented a policy of not communicating unless it was through a message written on a piece of paper, and then pushed under the fort wall.

Reports of what is inside the fort are still unclear.

However, it may include castle Legos, a Radio Shack tape recorder, and a flashlight- possibly one that can

flash on and off rapidly in morse code. Rumors have also circulated thai Vanderstump may have a pair of headset walkie-talkies with him.

Despite it's technological advances, some are still not convinced that his fort is indeed the "coolest fort ever."

"There was this one time when we had this big box down in the basement," said Bob Smorkstra, professor of sociology. "And you couldfitlike four guys in it. It was so cool."

Vanderstump's roommate, John Ferp (02). has attempted to match the coolness of Vanderstump's fort, but has ran into some difficulties.

"He used all the good stuff already," Ferp said.

Ferp, who is presently holed up beneath his desk with a few pillows pulled in front of him, is planning on teaming up with hallmate and best-friend. Kirk Gorgernson (03). Gorgernson has "more Legos anyway", according to Ferp.

Pope College president. Jimbo Bultmanis, has regarded the developing situation with approval.

"Pope College has a strong tradition of totally awesome forts," Bultmanis said. "It's good to see that our students still have that competitive edge."

Vanderstump has a 3:30 chemistry lab this afternoon.

He may or may not attend.

"1 hate school," Vanderstump said in his latest message. "Tell Mom to make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich."

the Anchor

A p r i l 5. 2000 s t r i c t l y

classified.

A L C O H O L from

I J o n g e r i u s - Z u i d e m a said lhai the screening is an invitation for stu-

Child Care Opportunity. O w n iransporlalion preferable; will drive children lo s w i m lessons. M o n - F r i . 9 a.m.-4 p.m. 3 children, a g e s 5, 10 & 13. Must like a n i m a l s , including horses. Salary negotiable, c o m p e t i tive pay. Position a v a i l a b l e m i d May. Call Mary K l e v e n ( 6 1 6 - 6 8 2 4527).

dividuals drinking puts t h e m at risk

Day c a r e teachers needed. FT/PT. 772-56S3.

p a t i e n t or i n p a t i e n t r e f e r r a l a n d e m e r g e n c y referrals. A n u m b e r of

judicial process," JongeriusZ u i d e m a said. " M y lips are sealed.

Guitar p l a y e r n e e d e d for n e w c o n temporary w o r s h i p service. G o o d S h e p h a r d L u t h e r a n C h u r c h . Call P a s t o r J i m F o s t e r at 3 9 5 - 4 1 0 9 ( h o m e ) or 7 7 2 - 4 0 7 5 ( w o r k .

r e s o u r c e s will be p r o v i d e d at the

1 h a v e no interest in writing p e o p l e

screening.

up."

M - Sorry y o u ' r e d o w n . Don't worry about India, 1 w o n ' t get in any rickshaw crashes. - A jane- hi kid. i k n o w it w a s a tough night for you, but h a n g in there, the " u h h h " will only s h o w u p on ihe radio. -A J a m e s - It's a w o r m s rematch, this lime, the b a n a n a b o m b s will bring you d o w n .

Kara- C o n g r a t s on getting hired. 1 am cooler, simply by k n o w i n g you.

for n e g a t i v e c o n s e q u e n c e s .

• S c r e e n i n g results may be c o n sistent with h a z a r d o u s or h a r m f u l drinking. H a r m f u l use may indicate the b e g i n n i n g or p r e s e n c e of alcohol d e p e n d e n c e .

Based on lest scores r e c o m m e n dations will be m a d e including out-

Hey Kids: Put a classified to your f r i e n d s in the A n c h o r . Just send us your classified at A N C H O R @ h o p e . e d u . It's a great w a y lo shoul oul lo your peeps.

Spring Break 2000: Only one w o r d , and thai w o r d is " t o o rainy."

Ulie- Despite w h a t it s e e m s like, we really do love you. Sorry a b o u t the ten o ' c l o c k d e a d l i n e . It w a s n ' t true until I spit w a t e r o n y o u . P l e a s e d o n ' t be m a d . c a u s e then I'll h a v e to d o m y pouty face, or m a y b e say "uhhh." -A

l o o k i n g for w a y s to get students in trouble. " I ' m b o u n d b y law not to talk

Resfauranf * Brew Pub

about w h o I see or w h a t I saw. T h i s is not in any way, shape or f o r m a

is W e s f 7 f h S f r c e f , Holland M l t m z J

APRIL ErtTERTAWMErtTj Sowjefhing fieoj is breuing df

T r u e or False: Violent s c r e a m i n g m a k e s you a n x i o u s .

FRIDAYS AT F O U R Semelink Hall,

TUESDAY* open Jam

TODAY

BackS-freef open f r w i 6-10 pjt).

7-fh Whi-fcy DaLucca

0

c a l l f r your one ^ u r jawi sjof.

4 - 4:30 p.m.

Western Theological Seminary

w f h Third c o a s f z i s f LoVey f H o l zz-fh

WEMESDAYS

Episode

The So«n<ls of AtcoSTts 6-10 pj*i.

SATURDAY

for a quiet, m e d i t a -

Whi-fey DaLucca

THURSDAY 6-j-h Elecfn'c P a r k

i s f h Blue f i e l d

W e ' d like t o thank

tive t i m e of reflec-

isf h oregon Dreaw c W k

22nd Lovcy Houil

the faculty, staff, stu-

tion and Scripture

z o f h E l e c f r i c Park

2 7 f h c e n f r a l Sun

dents, and o t h e r Hope

w i t h m u s i c of t h e

2 7 f t i oregon Dream cnild

people w h o w e r e

world church.

involved in the A p r i l Fool's Day satire in the

Sophisticated M o n k e y Torture.

Ranchor.

KISS r o c k s !

T r u e or False: You sit in the bath tub until y o u ' r e a raisin.

fachSfreef sfwffogApril 10.

PRAYERS

Join us every Friday

Curt- You beller not leave m e hanging on Thursday. It w a s a lonely, lonely w a l k lo the c h a p e l .

QG.WiM2.oo

Jusf a f e w sfeps off fhe beafen pafh.

H a ha ha. T h e R a n c h o r is f u n n y .

-A 234- j a n e d i d n ' t get any psas, but i thought i'd give you lovely ladies a Utile hello f r o m m e . - A

; BackSfrcef

d e n t s to e x a m i n e their drinking. He also stressed that the c o l l e g e is not

-The A n c h o r Staff

H o p e C h u r c h (RCA) Third Reformed St. Francis de Sales Catholic Western Theological Seminary

Als

0

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—

—

^Anchor

S p o t l i g h t

MCCUE from

SOCIOPATHIC LEANINGS Andrew Lotz

Me like learning Don'i gel m e wrong. I love Hope College. I enjoy il so much lhal I want more people lo attend Hope and experience the value of its education. But I worry that Hope isn't doing enough to appeal to future students.

In the high-priced, top-flight, and other important sounding hyphenated words world of promoting colleges, Hope needs something to make it stand out.

Sure, the admissions office goes on and on about our excellent placement rates in graduate schools, or the fact that all our classes are relatively small and taught by professors rather than teacher's aides. I suppose we do have a 70 percent to 30 percent, female lo male ratio (a big factor in my deciding to c o m e here), and a beautifully groomed campus.

But those things d o n ' t stick out in prospective students' minds.

Perspectives need a lasting impression of Hope college that will draw them to Holland.

I vole for a 500-foot tall bronze statue of Cookie Monster smack d a b in the middle of campus.

What better way to appeal to tomorrow's leaders than with an e n o r m o u s statue of the Cookie Monster? His giant, googlyeyed visage will loom over the college, reminding students each and every day of his poignant message: Me like cookies.

Don't we all " m e like cookies?"

Sure, there are going to be nay-sayers for this method of advancing H o p e ' s admissions process, but to anticipate their response, I would like to answer why this Cookie Monster statue would lit into H o p e ' s c a m p u s perfectly.

I don't know about you, but Sesame Street was the cornerstone of my education. Each and every letter of the alphabet that 1 use in my classes was at one time a sponsor of the show, often in conjunction with numbers that I use every day, like four and eleven.

Sesame Street taught m e the foundations of education at a young age. and inspired a spirit of learning that has carried with me through college. Not only did I learn the alphabet and numbers, but a whole host of other things that I utilize every day at Hope.

I learned the foundations of Spanish f r o m the "We say Hola"

song that carried m e through my language requirement. I learned that roommates could be good friends, like Bert and Ernie. I learned that it was okay to talk to gigantic brown elephants that no o n e else sees.

I learned that bugs could talk lo each other and live in that halffull milk carton I left in the sun a week ago. I learned lhal inner city streets are all clean and happy communities filled with songs sung by an ethnically diverse group of smiling people.

T h e s e are only a scratch in the surface of the knowledge that Sesame Street has imparled on me, k n o w l e d g e which has given m e a real competitive advantage here at Hope over those kids w h o watched 3,2,1, Contact when they were little.

Sesame Street w a s such a good way of learning things, that I think Hope professors should incorporate its instruction style into the classroom.

W h a t an admissions bonanza.

Not only would we have a statue of the coolest monster in history that doesn't live in a Scottish Lake, but we would have an educational structure that really focused on retention of learned material.

While reading an article about the different acronyms of why nuclear war is okay, w o u l d n ' t it be belter taught as a song? I can see my International Relations course singing along with our professor: " E i s e n h o w e r ' s plan just didn't cut it/ We needed Mutually Assured Destruction/ M A D would tell those Soviets where to shove it/ Even now missiles are under construction."

Singing catchy songs is great way to remember information, and so would conversations between Grover and the cutest kid'in the class. "The isobutane molecule is N E A R . N o w the isobutane molecule is FAR." Even the theater department could c o m e on board to the new Children's Television Workshop side of Hope College: they could produce a continuing production of Monsterpiece Theater with Allistiar Cookie.

Yes, I don't see a single draw-back to the giant Cookie Monster statue in the center of the Pine Grove. Hope definitely needs to find an exciting image of academic prowess, and Sesame Street seems to fit just fine.

A p r i l 5, 2 0 0 0

I

it," M c C u e said.

M c C u e w a s later contacted by N B C and informed that he was chosen to be on the show. H e also needed to bring a friend, to serve as his second chance on the show.

M c C u e chose his friend Dan Taylor ('99).

T h e pair flew out to Los Angeles for the taping over President's Day weekend, courtesy of N B C . " O n e drawback was that we were in one r o o m in the N B C studio for nine hours," M c C u e said.

M c C u e and Taylor had their make-up done and waited for their turn to be taped.

"We had to be with a contestant coordinator at all times because of the quiz show scandal in the 1950s they had to make sure that no one had an a d v a n t a g e o v e r a n y o n e else," M c C u e said.

Even though he spent the weekend in L. A., M c C u e was not picked to compete at that taping, but was invited back f o r the next taping.

"We c a m e in a lot more relaxed, just k n o w i n g the r o p e s , " M c C u e said. "It was weird because all those people were there to see us c o m pete for money " M c C u e and Taylor were videotaped celebrating before hand, just in case they got a bad response.

T h e y waited for a short time, and then were led up to stage to be taped for the show.

M c C u e was on stage for the taping, while Taylor waited in a soundproof booth off stage.

was enough f o r what he wanted. He has a lot of plans for the money left over after tithing and Taylor's share f o r f u n things.

"I gave my brother money for a d o w n p a y m e n t on a car," M c C u e said, "and to pay off a lot of my credit card debts f r o m being a stup i d c o l l e g e s t u d e n t . B u t it still leaves a couple of thousand dollars.

I ' m , going to buy a n e w mountain bike, a new guitar, fly my parents out to visit me here in Vegas. Maybe take a Skip Barber racing course to learn to drive race cars. With the rest I'll start an I R A for when I ' m old."

M c C u e was interested to see h o w o n e small appearance on television has given him a lot of attention.

"My parents thought it was great, and it even got announced over the i n t e r c o m at m y h i g h s c h o o l , " M c C u e said. " A guy f r o m the National Wild Turkey Foundation in W y o m i n g c a l l e d him a s k i n g f o r money. It's also been a wonderful w a y f o r my parents and I to get in touch with people w e ' v e lost touch

"It was pretty nerve wracking," Taylor said. "I just stared at a black wall for a while until D a n needed me. I k n o w sports and music questions, but he called m e in for a question about j e a n s . " M c C u e got the first question correct, but he did expend his ability to confer with Taylor. He missed the second and third question. Despite the misses, he still won the round.

"I w a s in shock w h e n he w o n because he only answered one question," Taylor said.

His win in the regular round allowed M c C u e lo m o v e on lo the Perfect 21 round.

"For every point you get $ 10,000.

I got the first one wrong, but il was cool because I still had $25,000," M c C u e said.

M c C u e went on to face the next challenger. He missed the first question, got the second question right, and missed the third question. His competitor reached 21 first, so he was eliminated.

"I was a little b u m m e d , " M c C u e said, "but at the same time I thought I got $ 2 5 , 0 0 0 and that's cool."

M c C u e left the show amazed that he won any money.

"The nighi before Dan and I talked about what w e ' d do if w e w o n the money," M c C u e said. " I ' l l give 5 percent to my church, 5 percent to Hope, 5 percent to my old church, and 5 percent to [Taylor].

The government lakes out 7 percent of the money f o r taxes."

M c C u e felt that the $25,000 win

with."

M c C u e was pleased with his experience and performance, and was thankful for H o p e ' s small influence in his appearance on 21. " T h e r e are probably a couple of questions w h e r e my teachers just shook their heads at my answers," M c C u e said. 4 1 Hope m a d e m e who I am now, and it prepared m e to be able to m o v e to Las Vegas which g a v e m e the opportunity to be on the p r o g r a m . "

Friends, food, and tuition.

That's why!

Going out with my ii icnds ^ tun. hut il isn't Ircc Tliafs why working at Wendy's is so perfccL I cam money in do the things I wani and buy the Ihinss I need, hut my hours arc real flexible. And thi: other fcids there aiv fun' By woiiinii part lime alter dasscs and on weekends. I siill have time lor a social life. And now I have ihc moncv for il. too! Plus. I have money lo help pa> tor books, tuition, ami other things. That just feels good.

• Karn spcmliii}: inonn • Help pay lor collcRe • Work with a fun learn • Sludent loan prognim OpporUiiiijks now available -JI a Wendy's near you.

Call our 24-hr. employment hoilinc

1-800-878-7354 (ext. 210) .i, t - a r o c r M a f ^ c (,.n>

VANDERPROV

9:00 p.m.

Friday Night, April 8th

in

Wichers

or apnlv online at w w w

^

a

r

com

e c r m a t r i x x

rabid farmers

the Anchor

A p r i l 5. 2000

I ntermission

Resident dance company presents concert tech-

people actually

nique, was dev e l o p e d by e n -

request pieces,"

H o p e . S p a l d i n g p e r f o r m e d in the first p e r f o r m a n c e of the piece in a

Rivera said.

B e c a u s e it is a

c h a r a c t e r that w a s written for her.

According to Rivera, she w a s happy

repertory group.

to h a v e the o p p o r t u n i t y to recreate

Contemporary M o t i o n s will of-

h e r role.

J o i n i n g S p a l d i n g will be Erica

t e n d i p into t h e past for a p e r f o r m a n c e , a s well as

Nelson, a Contemporary Motions

introduce new d a n c e s . But e v e n

States: A n a " N o n o " L a d a s w h o is Portuguese, and Vraja Keilman,

the old pieces are not a l w a y s the

w h o is D u t c h .

Rivera h o p e s to use the European d a n c e r s to help establish a C o n t e m -

Rivera

MATT" C O O K intermission editor

When Contemporary Motions

hancing

the

g a v e their first public p e r f o r m a n c e in 1986. they p e r f o r m e d a p i e c e

t e c h n i q u e through further

c h o r e o g r a p h e d by Julio R i v e r a

exploration rather than stay-

called " G h o s l b i r d s " .

Now, a f t e r a career that has b r o u g h t i h e m all o v e r the U n i t e d States and Europe, and has established Ihem as the resident d a n c e c o m p a n y at H o p e College. C o n t e m -

«

ing with the existing codified

/

version of it.

"It's a style that's very won-

veteran, and two E u r o p e a n s w h o are o n t h e i r first v i s i t t o the U n i t e d

p o r a r y M o t i o n s is b r i n g i n g " G h o s t b i r d s " back into their reper-

d e r f u l a n d fluid with the body.

toire.

C o n t e m p o r a r y M o t i o n s will per-

It's automatically correc-

same. " E v e r y o n c e in a while I t h r o w in

f o r m on Friday and Saturday. April 7-8. at 8 p.m. in the K n i c k e r b o c k e r

tive,"

a little t w i s t , "

ternational setting i s n ' t as far away

Rivera said.

This weekend

as they t h i n k , " R i v e r a said.

Theatre.

Rivera, a p r o f e s s o r of d a n c e at Hope, f o u n d e d C o n t e m p o r a r y M o tions in 1986 as a g r o u p with which he c o u l d i m p l e m e n t his ideas a b o u t c h o r e o g r a p h y and use the talents of the d a n c e r s he taught and w o r k e d

Rivera

said.

Contemporary

Motions

Anchor

p h o t o c o u r t e s y Public Relations

M O X I O N S : A member of Contemporary Motions, Hope's resident dance company, dances in the spotlight.

lished H o p e as a l e a d i n g institution for d e v e l o p m e n t of the Horton tech-

will f e a t u r e t h e

D e s p i t e the fact that n o n e of the m e n in the c o m p a n y w e r e able to

world premiere

p e r f o r m this w e e k e n d , Rivera was

of " E b o n y Waters," a duet that deals

not t r o u b l e d by the task of pulling

the company, a process that students

with the rising of male and f e m a l e

get to o b s e r v e and be involved in.

"I try to m a k e the c o m p a n y a s

forces.

"I t h o u g h t it w a s i m p o r t a n t to

the c o n c e r t together. " E v e r y c o n c e r t is a n e w c h a l -

a v a i l a b l e as p o s s i b l e to the c a m -

present a p r e m i e r e that w a s created here at H o p e C o l l e g e , " Rivera said.

c o n t i n u e s to explore this t e c h n i q u e , and t h r o u g h their residency at H o p e , has estab-

porary M o t i o n s g r o u p in Europe. " T h i s s h o w s p e o p l e that the in-

l e n g e . " R i v e r a said. "That it m a k e s s e n s e , a n d that it has flow f r o m

with. " W e were able to blend a lot of

nique.

For the past 10 years, Rivera and

d r e a m s t o g e t h e r , to m a k e d a n c e , m a k e people happy, and explore my

C o n t e m p o r a r y M o t i o n s h a v e been

pus," Rivera said.

Rivera also takes pride in bring-

s p e n d i n g a s e m e s t e r at H o p e as the

ing d a n c e to n o n - d a n c e m a j o r s .

artistic side as a c h o r e o g r a p h e r , "

resident dance company. Rivera

C o n t e m p o r a r y M o t i o n s w o r k s with

Rivera said.

O n e of R i v e r a ' s g o a l s with C o n -

s e e s diis as a g o o d teaching o p p o r tunity for d a n c e s t u d e n t s t o w o r k

I D S students b e f o r e and after their

reographed for last y e a r ' s D a n c e 2 5

" I t h i n k e v e r y o n e s h o u l d take

annual c o n c e r t s , a n s w e r i n g q u e s -

a d v a n t a g e of the fact that this pro-

t e m p o r a r y M o t i o n s , w a s to e x p l o r e

with p r o f e s s i o n a l d a n c e r s . M e m -

tions and introducing them to the

concert.

"It's g o o d for the s t u d e n t s to see

the H o r t o n t e c h n i q u e , a d a n c e technique he b e c a m e an expert in at the Alvin Ailey school in N e w York.

According to Rivera, his version of the t e c h n i q u e , called the H o r t o n /

b e r s of C o n t e m p o r a r y M o t i o n s serve as d a n c e c o a c h e s , teach c h o r e o g r a p h y , and hold o p e n rehearsals while they are at H o p e . M e a n while, they p r o d u c e n e w w o r k s for

In a d d i t i o n , t h e c o m p a n y will p e r f o r m " G h o s t b i r d s " and " M u s e di M a r m o , " which w a s originally cho-

dance process.

Since Contemporary Motions

that the creation of their w o r k d o e s

began, Rivera has seen his a u d i e n c e g r o w in n u m b e r and e n t h u s i a s m .

Rivera said. " M u s e di M a r m o " will feature the

" T h e m o s t a p p e a l i n g thing is that

return of J e n n i f e r S p a l d i n g ( ' 9 9 ) to

have professional standards,"

p i e c e to p i e c e . " To Rivera, the biggest draw to a concert like this, is its u n i q u e accessibility to students.

f e s s i o n a l - l e v e l cultural, artistic exp e r i e n c e is available right in their o w n b a c k y a r d , " Rivera said.

T i c k e t s cost $ 6 for adults, a n d $4 for students, senior citizens and children.

Visiting W r i t e r s Series features t r i o

PREMONITIONS Matt Cook

" S o r t i n g the S m o k e : N e w and Se-

D A W N DODGE

lected P o e m s . " His m o s t recently

staff r e p o r t e r

A n o t h e r Crazy Idea

H o p e students will get a c h a n c e

published w o r k is " P l a y e r P i a n o " and this y e a r the a n t h o l o g y " N e w

to see writing f r o m the p e r s p e c t i v e

P o e m s f r o m the T h i r d Coast: Con-

brilliant idea w a s more my r o o m m a t e ' s than m y o w n , it is

s o m e e x a m p l e s f r o m recent

of three differ-

t e m p o r a r y M i c h i g a n P o e t r y " is ex-

issues of "the A n c h o r . " espe-

the true lobster e x p e r i e n c e , you have lo g o to N e w E n g l a n d .

o n e of a t h o u s a n d d i f f e r e n t

cially in the art world w h e r e crazy ideas are the lifeblood.

ent professional writers

p e c t e d to be released.

His p o e m s c e n t e r around a vari-

this w e e k e n d .

ety of t o p i c s d e a l i n g with life.

T h i n g s are g o i n g to c h a n g e

year w h e n w e should have been

though- at least a c c o r d i n g to my

doing our homework. The

Patterson ( ' 0 1 ) had a crazy idea

p e r c e n t a g e of ideas w e ' v e f o l l o w e d t h r o u g h o n is s o m e -

and they e n d e d up with a full length m o v i e . C r a i g T o m m o l a

d i f f e r e n c e b e t w e e n here and

where around zero (although we

( ' 0 0 ) and the O p u s staff had a

will lake place

M a i n e is that we h a v e n o

did m a k e an attempt to c a r v e a pile of d i n in f r o n t of VanderWerf

crazy idea and they e n d e d u p r e d e f i n i n g a tradition in an e x c i t i n g n e w may.

Saturday, April 8, in the M a a s C e n t e r at 7 p.m. It o p e n s with a p e r f o r m a n c e

M y r o o m m a t e and I had a crazy idea, and we e n d e d up

of the H o p e C o l l e g e Jazz C h a m -

E v e r y o n e k n o w s you c a n ' t get good lobster in M i c h i g a n . F o r

r o o m m a t e and me.

H e r e ' s h o w it will w o r k . T h e

oceans, and lobsters c o m e f r o m the o c e a n . So what if we m a d e an o c e a n in M i c h i g a n ? It w o u l d n ' t be a very big o c e a n .

Imagine a giant s a l t w a t e r tank e n v i r o n m e n t a l l y regulated to simulate the coast of M a i n e .

N o w put this lank in the m i d d l e of our o c e a n - l e s s state, fill it

s c h e m e s w e ' v e d r e a m e d u p this

Hall into a s c u l p t u r e of Jaba the Hut), but that d o e s n ' t m e a n we w o n ' t get a r o u n d to them.

T h e key to any c r a z y idea is that old adage: " i t ' s j u s t c r a z y e n o u g h to w o r k . " I'll n e v e r be able to fly to the m o o n - English m a j o r s just d o n ' t d o that, b u t

N o a h T u c k e r C01) and Joel

h e a d i n g a c a m p a i g n to elect B r u c e Willis for president ( w e h a v e a website: wwwJwmeslecdcom^bsod^mceJitml).

W h e t h e r they c o m e to

T h e next ins t a l l m e n t of the Visiting Writers Series

sion is f r e e Conrad Sabatelli,

and

finest in Lobster f o o d , and

o p e n the only p i z z a delivery place

while w a y s to s p e n d time,

their

watch i h e m multiply.

People would c o m e f r o m all

in b a s e - c a m p .

T h e o t h e r key to a c r a z y idea is

b e c a u s e it separates us as individuals in an increasingly

which includes every-

over to d i n e o n iheir fresh s u p p l e flesh; at a r e d u c e d rate of

not to be afraid. T h i s d o e s n ' t m e a n b e i n g a f r a i d of death or s o m e t h i n g like that, but being

h o m o g e n o u s w o r l d . Plus, it's a

thing f r o m poetry to n o n f i c -

of flat land. Its n a m e ? T h e M i d w e s t Lobster E m p o r i u m .

W e ' d be rich.

A l t h o u g h I must a d m i t this

20 years f r o m now, and I'll be

risky, and we m a y o v e r s h o o t s o m e t i m e s , but it's surprising

sitting on top of the w o r l d ' s largest lobster fortune. I just

w h a t can c o m e out of it. Look at

k n o w it.

Up dn<l Coming events for this week. . .

• Camai Knowledge and Carnal ignorance Dr. Wendy Doniger V Wed. 3:30, Graves Hall

• University X Thurs., FrL, Sat., 8 p.m.

DeWitt Studio Theater $2

• H o p e College Gospel Choir S a t , Sun., 8:00 p.m.

Dimnent Chapel $5

f e s s o r of c o m m u n i c a t i o n s at Grand Valley State University. His fiction and nonfiction p i e c e s c a n be f o u n d in a variety of publications s uch as

Sue

"Ploughshares."

"The Mississippi R e v i e w , "

Arnold William

Hilbery

will b e r e a d ing s o m e of work

tion.

In a d d i t i o n

and " A m e r i can

Silverman

there is a slim c h a n c e that I c o u l d c l i m b Ml. Everest. O u r idea is to

a f r a i d to e x p a n d our m i n d s past w h a t w e usually expect of it. It's

S. S i l v e r m a n

Hillberry,

with imported N e w E n g l a n d lobsters, feed ihem only the

lot of f u n .

I m a y just b e your typical c o l l e g e student now, but find m e

lege f o r 36 years.

A r nol d Sabatelli is a visiting pro-

b e r E n s e m b l e at 6 : 3 0 p.m.

T h e public is invited and a d m i s -

anything or not. h a v i n g crazy ideas is one of the most w o r t h -

course. It would be an o a s i s of s e a f o o d on an e n d l e s s horizon

%

Hillberry taught at K a l a m a z o o Col-

% ' T

Baby."

Sabatelli is c u r r e n t l y working o n n u m e r o u s e s s a y s d e a l i n g both with y

V

A. Sabatelli

to the reading, the three a u t h o r s will b e serving as m e n t o r s during a writing w o r k s h o p for H o p e students on Saturday. Students have prepared pieces of their writing which h a v e been passed o n to the authors.

C o n r a d Hillberry, w h o resides in K a l a m a z o o , is the a u t h o r of several collections of poetry. He r e c e i v e d the Iowa Prize in 1990 for his b o o k

f l y - f i s h i n g and f a t h e r h o o d .

S u e William Silverman, a professional s p e a k e r o n the topics of incest and child a b u s e , has written several n o n f i c t i o n pieces. Her memoir, " B e c a u s e I R e m e m b e r Terror Father, I R e m e m b e r You" w o n the 1996 A s s o c i a t e d Writing Prog r a m s Award Series in creative nonfiction.

S h e is also the associate editor of " F o u r t h G e n r e : E x p l o r a t i o n s in Nonfiction."

T h e Visiiing Writers Series will c o n c l u d e the 1 9 9 9 - 2 0 0 0 season on M o n d a y , April 17, with English professor S u s a n Atefal P e c k h a m and Luis R o d r i g u e z .

^Anchor

Sports

A p r i l 5. 2000

S w i m t e a m s finish sixth a t nationals A N D R E W

KL.EOZ.EK

sports e d i t o r A p p a r e n t l y ihe H o p e C o l l e g e swim learns love dramatic finishes.

Both N C A A D i v i s i o n III National meets, the m e n ' s and the women's, hung on the last event the 400-yard freestyle relay.

For the women's team it settled a score with league rival Calvin. For the men's team it was a battle for sixth place, which they won when they finished third in the relay.

"We were fighting for it," said head coach John Patnott. "There were three of us: six, seven, eight.

T h o s e p o s i t i o n s d e p e n d e d upon how each of those teams swam the 400 relay, the last e v e n t of the meet."

T h e m e n ' s meet, w h i c h was held March 16-18 at Emory University in Atlanta, almost ended with Hope and WisconsinStevens Point

%

tied.

"K

The scori n g going into the last e v e n t , along with the two team's preliminary times in the 400-yard freestyle relay, indicated they would end up dead even.

However, the Flying Dutchmen won and moved up. According to Patnott this was due to their concentration.

"I think the mental focus of all six guys was excellent through three days of s wi m m i n g , " Patnott said.

"Usually there's a day or a session or two where they're not quite as sharp or ready. At a national meet, it's really crucial that you're ready to go every time."

Part of the reason Hope was able to stay goal-oriented throughout the weekend was the additional team m e e t i n g s P a t n o t t a d d e d to t h e schedule. The meetings consisted of talking about the events that were c o m i n g up. w h e r e players w e r e seeded, eliminating worries, and e m p h a s i z i n g the positive in the race.

"By the last session it gets a little redundant," Patnott said. "But once you begin to think it's there [focus], it's not."

Two swimmers that were clearly ready were Chris Dattels ('01) and Josh Bos ( 02). Dattels swam to a school record in the 100-yard backstroke and earned All-American status with a time of 51.29 seconds.

Bos, who will be traveling to the O l y m p i c trials in A u g u s t , a l s o earned All-American status by placing first in the 200-yard breaststroke with a time of 2:02.12 and second in the 100-yard breaststroke with a time of 55.94 seconds.

Also helping the team to their top 10 finish at nationals were: co-cap-

tains Jared Lippert ('00) and Tom Bouwens (*00).

Scott V r o e g i n d e w e y ( ' 0 1 ) and Brian Slagh ('03).

To P a t n o t t . it w a s a p p a r e n t L i p p e r t was e x c i t e d a b o u t the t e a m ' s f i n i s h in the 4 0 0 - y a r d freestyle relay, an event he spent a lot of time working on. " H e ' s been part of the 400 relay for four years, and his senior year we finally go and get third," Patnott said. "You could clearly see he was happy about that."

The third place finish tied Hope's best-ever mark in the event.

The m e n ' s team finished sixth in the nation, it was their best ranking since 1994 when they finished second. It was also the team's fifth highest ranking ever.

During 1

h

e

women' s meet, held March 9-11, also at Emory University. Hope battled league rival Calvin for bragg i n g r i g h t s in t h e 4 0 0 - y a r d freestyle relay. Calvin had defeated Hope in the event twice before during the regular season.

In the p r e l i m i n a r y 4 0 0 - y a r d freestyle relay, Hope and Calvin ended up dead even. The two teams were then given a 30-minute rest b e f o r e they raced again, w h e r e Hope and Calvin both improved upon their last limes, however it was the Flying Dulch that came out on top.

"It's kind of fun to go down there and go against a league opponent," Patnott said. " T h a t ' s where you finalize it, at the last event of the meet."

However, it w a s n ' t the Flying Dutch perfonnance on the final day that propelled them into sixth place, but r a t h e r t h e i r s t r o n g s w i m s throughout the meet.

"Certainly, in the first couple of days we were in a battle," Patnott said. "1 remember standing on the deck looking to see if we were going to be able to stay in sixth place."

Putting Hope in sixth place were: captain Llena Durante ('00), Colleen Doyle ( ' 0 0 ) , Kari Jackson ( ' 0 0 ) , Erinn V a n A u c k e n ( ' 0 0 ) , Jenna Anderson ('02), Betsy V a n d e n b e r g ( ' 0 1 ) , Laura Smith ('02), Erin Vandenberg ('03), and Sarah Gray ('03).

Betsy Vandenberg swam exceptionally well.

"Betsy Vandenberg's performance in all three of her events were lifetime best times," Patnott said. "Two were school records, and one was a national record in addition to being a school record."

Jackson placed fifth for the second consecutive year in 1-meter diving. Durante and Erinn Vandenberg also performed well according to Patnott.

University X This Thursday, Friday and Saturday at 8 p.m. in DeWin Studio Theatre. Tickets $2

Anchor

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B R I N G I N G T H E H E A T T : Kevin Kittle ('02) lets itflyagainst Aquinas The Flying Dutchmen defeated Aquinas, 5-5. It was Kittle's first win of the season.

last week.

H o p e t o pitch t o w a r d s t i t l e A N D R E W KLECZEK sports editor

Baseball head coach Stu Fritz knows the old adage about pitching. and he's built his team around it. " P i t c h i n g w i n s g a m e s , " Fritz said.

So far the saying has held some truth for the Flying Dutchmen, who currently stand at 9-6, and have an ERA of 5.05 through Tuesday. They look to build on this record and rem a i n c o m p e t i t i v e h e a d i n g into league play this week.

"I think it will be a very challenging year within the league," Fritz said. "Our seniors have won it three years in a row and they're going to challenge to win it again. T h e y ' r e going to do everything they can to make it a competitive league."

Last year the Flying Dutchmen won the Michigan Intercollegiate Athletic Association by winning six of their last seven games. Two years ago the team made their first ever appearance in the N C A A tournament.

This year, the league title won't be easily earned according to Fritz.

ership of Kurt Kesler ('00). " H e does an excellent j o b of organizing and leading that group of pitchers," Fritz said. "I think our younger players really respect him and follow his lead."

Jeremy Gasper ('00), is another strong leader on the team according to Fritz. " J e re m y s a i d , Gasper is "They're situation I think itjsjhe typ a kid always one ady to where y o u have t h a t ' s a of the teams go every Weeken Ise you t r e m e n we feel like d o u s we need to can get beat by yone. leader," beat." â&#x20AC;&#x201D; S t u Fritz Fritz said.

As alH o p e baseball coach " H e does ways, much a tremenof H o p e ' s dous job success will with the younger kids. We have 10 depend upon starting pitching.

H o p e ' s t o p f o u r p i t c h e r s are: this year so its important that we get Kevin Kittle ('02), Nate DeVisser that kind of leadership."

Defense and batting should also C01), Mark Simonson ('02), and be t e a m s t r e n g t h s a c c o r d i n g to Matt Kirby ('03). " O n e of the unique things we Fritz. Hope has a fielding average have this year is that three out of of .936, and is currently batting o u r t o p f o u r p i t c h e r s are l e f t - .313.

Hope will host Concordia tonight handed," Fritz said.

Fritz credits much of the pitch- at 4 p.m. Hope plays Olivet Friday, ing corps improvement to the lead- April 7, at 4 p.m.

"I think it's the type of situation where you have to be ready to go every weekend or else you can get beat by anyone," Fritz said.

One team in particular that Fritz feels will be strong is Albion, who returns a veteran team f r o m last year.

"Albion is as solid as anyone this year," Fritz

sports briefs

ANK X7877

H o p e t o host u l t i m a t e t o u r n a m e n t Hope College's Ultimate Frisbee team will be hosting their first tournament of the year, called Dope Cabbage, at 9:30 a.m. on Saturday, April 8. The games will be held at the fields located between West Ottawa High School and Macatawa Bay School.

Several teams from across the stale will be competing, including: Michigan State, Grand Valley Stale University, a Hope Alumni team

and teams from Grand Rapids and Ml. Pleasant. Traditional Hope rival Calvin will also be participating.

The tournament will be played in round robin format. It is the team's sixth tournament of the year and the only one that will be played in Holland.

Admission to the tournament is free. Matt Goupell ('01) and Dave Kuhrl ('01) are the team captains.

Men's tennis wins W h e a t o n Invitational Kalamazoo continued its dominance in tennis over league opponents Tuesday. by defeating the Flying Dutchmen 9-0.

The win was Kalamazoo's 224th consecutive dual match victory.

Hope did provide some competition, despite the shutout. The Flying D u t c h m e n were able to take Kalamazoo to tie-breakers in two doubles sets. This was the stiffest competition Hope has given the Hornets in recent years. The loss

drops Hope to 12-4 in dual matches and 1-1 in league play.

The loss comes less than a week since the Flying Dutchmen won the Wheaton Invitational on April 1.

Hope defeated the University of Chicago, 7-0; Ripon. Wisconsin, 43; and host Wheaton, 4-3.

Sixth singles Josh Honholl ('02) went undefeated at Wheaton.

This weekend, April 7-8. Hope will compete in Denison, Ohio for the G L C A tournament.