04-13-1988

Hope College

t h e anchor Wednesday, Apr. 13, 1988

serving

the

college

communify

for

100 years

Volume 100 No. 23

NEWS Renaisance Fair To Highlight Library Dedication

Preparing

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Page 2

for the Fall CAMPUS

Just when spring is

Air Jam And

starting to spread its

Jackman Were Fun

wings, Hope College

Page 3

students had to deal with

FEATURE

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moment. With

Seniors Hold Final Art Show Page 4

Fall for a

registration last week,

I

some students were left up in the air.

RANCHOR Annual Spoof Of Hope College Page 5

April 1 3 7 ^ 8 8

Page 2

News Renaissance Fair to Head Library Dedication

By Carol Onnsby anchor Writer Last y e a r when it was announced that the Critical Issues Sumposium would be canceled due to the Library Dedication, the administration was barraged by protests from the student body.

The idea had originally been to combine the Library dedication with an intellectual, Critical Issues event. However, the p r o t e s t s of the s t u d e n t s , comdined with the feeling that the dedication itself would get lost behind Critical Issues, caused the administration to reinstate CIS and plan another event to go along with the dedication.

The L i b r a r y Dedication Committee decided the event

should be celebratory, but should also have something substantial to it. An idea evolved to have a Renaissance Fair, combining the celebration with scholarship to show that Hope is a fun as well as an academic community.

The fair will begin after the ribbon cutting ceremony with a cannon salute and a parade. The parade will start at Siberia and progress through campus, stopping at the dorms on the way to recruit more students. The parade will end at Van Wylen Library, and the fair will begin 1 p.m.

There will be a Renaissance feast at the Van Zoeren plaza featuring cuisine such as roasted hog and steamship rounds of beef. This will last from 12 p.m. to 2 p.m.

Meanwhile, the fair will be in

full swing. Among the events planned are: an Elizabethan Rendez-vous with History, featuring the personalities of Elizabeth I, William Harvey and Sir Walter Raleigh; Inns of Court, a debate featuring R e n a i s s a n c e law c l e r k s ; American, Middle Eastern, and Greek folk dancing; English country dancing, Irish step dancing, Morris dancing, and Klompen dancing; Gymanstics, fencing, psychology, glass b l o w i n g , and k a r a t e demonstrations; as well as various displays, such as a science poster display of student work and an astronomy display.

Many of the exciting activities will allow a u d i e n c e participation. Games, as well as a lot of the dancing, are arranged so the average person give it a

NEWS BRIEFS Chem Department Awarded Grant The Hope c h e m i s t r y department has been awarded a one-year $31,000 grant from the National Science Foundation (NSF) for a project entitled "Research Experiences for Undergraduates," directed by Dr. Michael Seymour, associate professor of chemistry at Hope.

The Hope College chemistry d e p a r t m e n t is n a t i o n a l l y recognized for its productive undergraudate research program. The NSF grant will be u s e d to s u p p o r t e i g h t undergraduate students for fulltime research during 10 weeks this summer. These students will

be working on research projects directed by one of seven Hope faculty m e m b e r s . Those professors include Dr. Seymour, Dr. Rodney Boyer, Dr. William Folic, Dr. Joanne Stewart, Dr. Michael Silver, Dr. Stephen T a y l o r , and D r . William Mungall. The eight NSFsupported research scholars will join approximately 15 other Hope students who will be engaged in research supported by funds from individual Hope faculty grants.

Of the eight NSF students involved in summer chemistry

research at the college's Peale Science Center, four will be from Hope. The other four students will be selected from colleges where research opportunities during the summer, as well as state-of-the-art equipment, may not be available.

The chemistry department is now seeking applications for the four non-Hope openings in this ''Research Experiences for Undergraduates" program. For more information, or if any student wishes to apply, please contact Dr. Michael Seymour at

a community and college resource and will offer primarily family-oriented entertainment, according to William Anderson, vice president for business and finance.

The theatre will be operated as an arm of the college's Office of Conference Services which is under the direction of Mary Kempker, associate director of college advancement. Tanis, a 1987 Hope College graduate, will be responsible for the promotion, programming and operation of

the theatre.

During the first year of operation, Tanis will concentrate on developing a first-rate film series, including the return of Saturday afternoon matinees for children and holiday oriented films, according to Anderson.

The theatre will also be available for group rentals.

Persons interested in renting the theatre should contact Tanis at 392-8167 or the Hope College office of conference services at 394-7860.

Hope Gets Educational Grant -E. 1. du Pont de Nemour and Company, the Wilmington, Delaware-based chemical firm, has announced it will award a $4,000 Educational Aid Grant to the chemistry department at H o p e C o l l e g e . In i t s announcement, DuPont states that "the broad purpose of these grants is to enhance the instruction iu the physical sciences by helping the selected department to satisfy needs and

engage in activities that would not otherwise be possible."

"This award is especially significant to the Hope College chemistry department because it is an indication that we have been effective in our efforts directed toward the training of undergraduate students," said Dr. Rodney F. Boyer, professor of chemistry and chairperson of the department. "With the du

Coordinating the Revel is John Langstaff, a children's author and concert singer who started a form of celebratory theatre called Revels in Massachusetts.

Langstaff said although there has not been as much time put into the Hope celebration as into his revels in Washington, D C., New York City, and Hanover, New Hampshire, it is t4Revellike" in the sense that it will involve traditional dancing, singing, and theatre in a participatory way to evoke a sense of community.

Langstaff's revels evolved from the traditional folk ballads he learned as a child the he i n c l u d e s in his c o n c e r t upertoire.

The idea of a Revel is to make the audience feel a part of the group by using performers who are people you'd meet in the street and expanding it to include the audience itself.

Included in the Hope Revel will be a children v r hoir, English Folk dancinr; i. uiay, 44Robin Hood and L i u k John," written for Langstaff by children's author Susan Cooper.

The R e n a i s s a n c e F a i r , combined with the Revel is guaranteed to provide a splendid time for all involved — and the theme of the day is to involve everyone.

Hope to Sponsor Junior Day Hope College will sponsor its annual Junior Day for high school juniors this Friday, April 15.

Registration for the day will begin at 9 a.m. at the Maas Conference Center on campus.

There will be opportunities to meet with faculty and students in the academic departments of the visiting student's interest.

Guests are invited to eat lunch in the college dining hall.

ipillar CtjrisKian

The day, sponsored by the college's admissions office, provides an opportunity for high school juniors and their parents to experience a day on campus.

Information will be provided on admissions and financial aid. A guided tour of the campus will be available.

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Tanis to Manage Theatre The appointment of Philip Tanis to manage the recently acquired Knickerbocker Theatre in downtown Holland has been announced by Hope College officials.

The former Holland Theatre, located in the central business district on East Eighth Street approximately a block from the Hope College campus, was acquired by the college in January from Goodrich Theatres, Inc. The theatre will be operated as

try.

After the fair concludes at 3 p.m., there will be a Renaissance Revel in the Van Zoeren building.

This will consist of celebratory singing and dancing mixed with audience participation.

Pont support, we will be able to improve our level and quality of activity. Our students will be the major benefactors of this significant grant."

The funds will be used for various activities including the purchase of research and teaching equipment, funding of research projects, and summer r e s e a r c h fellowships for students it i

ACCELERATE YOUR EDUCATION Attend Wayne State The Spring/Summer University as a "guest semester at Wayne student" this summer State offers eight and and transfer your thirteen week semesters credits to and you the institudon't need tion you atto be formaitend in the iy admitted faii and to take most winter. To courses. ensure that To find out courses more about taken at Wayne State, WSU fulfill caii (313)degree re5774597. Or quirements write: at the institution at Wayne State which you University. are enrolled, obtain a Spring/Summer '88, 6001 Uniform Michigan Cass. Detroit. Ml 48202.

Guest Student application form from your col iege registrar a n d complete it before coming to Wayne State.

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A p r i l 13, 1988

Page 3

Entertainment (t

End Game" A Good Ail-Around Show

By David Lambert anchor Writer This s e m e s t e r ' s studentdirected theatre production was Samuel Beckett's 4<End Game."

Billed as "a squalid little comedy," "End Game" seems to be in the same vein as Jean Paul Satre's 4<No Exit," and Marsha Norman's <4Night Mother."

These plays are posttragedies: the tragedy has already happened and the characters are left to pick up the p i e c e s . In , 4 N o E x i t , " incompatible- characters are

destined to spend eternity stuck in a small room with each other because of the tragedy of their past lives. In "Night Mother," the silent t r a g e d y of an unfulfilling middle class existence drives a daughter to suicide.

In "End Game," the past tragedy is a nuclear war. Now the characters of Clov, Hamm, Nagg, and Nell must choose to either live or die; life has become a dull habit. At one point, Hamm says "it's time it ended, yet I hesitate to end."

Clov, played by Elizabeth

Cross, is the daughter of Hamm, who is blind. Hamm was played

by Jon Hook. Clov shuffles about in a room furnished with a corrugated steel rear wall, two dirty round windows, a large, strangely angled chair, and two corrugated steel trash cans.

Hamm rules over Clov from the chair, striking a kingly, yet pathetic pose due to the housecoat and dark glasses which he is wearing.

Nagg, played by Tom Ochs, and Nell, played by Gary Land, inhabit the trash cans. Although they look younger than Hamm,

Nagg and Nell are supposed to be Hamm's parents. In spite of their living conditions, they are clothed formally; Nagg wears a black vest and white shirt, Nell is clothed in a dress and large straw hat.

Beckett's point in this play is expressed by Clov who tells Hamm that "I used the words you taught me; they don't mean anything anymore. Teach me new ones or be silent." There are no words to describe what has happened or what one is supposed to do; there is no

Air Jam '88 A Success

By David Lambert anchor Writer I don't usually admit this in public, but I have biases. Since I've been accused of reviewing without making these biases clear, I might as well confess that I was not thrilled about the idea of an air jam. The idea of Hope students lip-syncing to Top40 songs sounded unappealing.

Why, I wondered, were Hopeites going to a gimmicky show like this?

With my truckload of biases, I watched air jams by groups like Michael and the Polys and Harlequin. I enjoyed the acts of Chicks Dig Us, Billy Idol, Jammin' Production Crew, and the Centurians. If it had been up to me, I would have given the Centurians first place, with Billy

Idol as second. The Centurians' lip synched really nice to R.E.M.'s "It's the End of the World as We Know it (and I Feel Fine)" complete with soldiers, a prostitute — Centurian in drag — and a Roman who threw flowers all over the stage came in second place. First place went to a large group of women who called t h e m s e l v e s STP, and did "Greased Lightning" with a female John Travolta.

Although the air jammers were good, Edward Jackman, a comedian and juggler, was the star of the show. Between acts, he did his routine, which featured top-notch juggling and comedy.

Jackman is one of those guys who can juggle a bowling ball, a machete, and an apple, and make it look easy.

His improvisational comedy

direction or hope in the lives of the characters.

This production did a nice Job of conveying hopelessness. A distance of about twenty feet lay between the actors and the audience, emphasizing . t h e smallness of the actors. Even the unused seats contributed to the atmosphere, as they were covered with black cloth. "End Game" was a good show, both in script selection and execution.

Everyone involved deserves a squalid little congratulation for a squalid little comedy well done.

NOTICE

flowed as freely; he made a discussion with an education major about sign language into hilarious comedy: "you see, this means potato, and this means head." When he got to the m a c h e t e juggling act, he gestured to three young girls in the front row and joked, "if you three line up, you'd make a nice shish-kabob."

For his finale, he balanced a bicycle on his face while he juggled three tennis rackets. Not only was he good technically, but he had that indescribable quality of true funniness about him.

In the end, I had to admit that Air Jam '88 was a lot of fun. An e v e n t t h a t c o m b i n e s the campiness and excitement of high school play with comedy as good as Jackman's deserves a round of applause.

When placing long distance calls within the 616 area cooe , do not dial 616.

Entry of the code used to be optional, but the system will now block long distance calls if you enter the 616 area code.

In all other cases, continue dialing long distance calls as you have in the past.

The tans can't last. The credits will.

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Page 4

A p r i l 13, 1988

Feature Freeze Frame

What do you see as Hope College's Most Pressing Problem?

i

DUame Brown Junior "In terms of athletics, I think the biggest problem will be to attract quality athletes in the future. They'll be seeking scholarships, and with the increasing Hope tuition, they'll just go elsewhere.*'

LoriLovas Junior <4

The i n c r e a s i n g s t u d e n t population. Do they want to keep Hope as a small college or let it grow by increasing the number of students? If so, they'll have to increase both the number of faculty members and buildings to house us."

John Miller Junior

Christine Siegel Sophomore

Chris Soltis Sophomore

"A lack of communication at all levels. The left hand often doesn't know what the right hand is doing, and often doesn't care."

"The quality of food at Phelps.

I know they offer variety, but when the salad is nothing but a heap of withered, tasteless shreds, I wonder about the health of it all."

"The most pressing problem is all the hassle involved in getting o f f - c a m p u s permission for housing."

Adoff To Speak At Author's Conference Arnold Adoff, children's poet and anthologist, and the winner of the 1988 Award for Excellence in Poetry for ChUdren, will be the featured speaker at the annual Young Authors' Conference to be held at Hope College on Tuesday, April 19.

Sponsored by the Hope College Department of Education, the c o n f e r e n c e will host approximately 550 children from private, public, and parochial schools in western Michigan.

Each elementary student who attends the conference has been selected on the basis of the creative writing he or she has done. During the morning conference all children will participate in four activities: a sharing time during which they will read their own stories or poetry to a group of their peers, a

dance performance, storytelling, and a large group session with Arnold Adoff.

Adoff lectures widely to children and adults and has worked with children on writing poetry in classrooms. Since 1986, he has been Distinguished Visiting Professor of Queens College, City University of New York. Among Adoff s collections of his own poetry are Sports Pages, Eats, and All the Colors of the Race. His poems often deal with ethnic themes and reflect his own interracial family. Adoff lives in Ohio with his wife, author Virignia Hamilton, and their two children.

Aerial Dance Company, an affiliate of the Hope College dance department, will provide an e x h i l a r a t i n g d a n c e performance, which includes

Personals/Classifieds

whimsical works sure to delight the children.

Becky Goodspeed, a professional storyteller and past president of Storyspinners of Grand Rapids, will entertain the children with her folktales from around the world and participation stories for the younger children.

In addition, there will be an evening session in the Maas Center auditorium on the Hope campus at 7 p.m. on Tuesday, April 19. The children's books will be on display and Arnold Adoff will recite some of his poetry. The public is invited to attend this evening program.

The day's activities are directed

by Linda Linklater of the staff at the Van Wylen Library on the Hope campus.

Senior Art Show Opens In DePree

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ploc«m«nl cat today:

Six Hope College seniors will display the culmination of their four years of art study in the "Graduating Senior Art Show," an exhibition which opened in the DePree Center Art Gallery on Friday, April 1. It will remain in the gallery until Sunday, May 8, commencement day at Hope.

A wide variety of art mediums will be displayed in the show.

Everything from sculpture, to oil painting, to set design will display the diversity of these students' talents and tastes.

Exhibiting their works will be: Wesley Ceeley of East Lansing; Susan Dykstra of Hudsonville; Gayle Geider of Ann Arbor; Anne Mulder of Holland; Andy Richard of Plainwell; and John Saurer of Holland.

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Admission to the DePree Center Art Gallery is free. Hours are: Monday through Saturday, 10 a.m. to 9 p.m. and Sunday 1 p.m. to 9 p.m.

PIANO PLAYER wanted for men's quartet. For more information write the King's Messengers, Box 154, Allendale, MI 49401.

GAY FEMALE seeks gay or bifemales for possible realtionship.

Write P.O. Box 2146, Holland, MI 49422. Discretion A s s u r e d .

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SUMMER CAMP JOBS in the Northeast. For free list, send self-addressed stamped ($.45) envelope to Midwest Camp Consultants, 1785 Red Coat Drive, Maryland Heights, MO, 63043.

TRAVEL-PEOPLE-BUSINESSC O M M U N I C A T I O N E X P E R I E N C E . You've probably heard about it. The Southwestern Summer Program. $1,600 per month average. One position left. Call x6325 for more information.

RIDE INTO HOPE'S HISTORY on one wheel! Just jumping to juggle? Blokes with jokes, entertain the folks! Clowns, mimes, skateboarders, magicians, too. Don't miss the chance — it's made for you!

April 21 is Hope College's day.

Make it yours — here's the way!

Call this number without delay!

Lonely? Need a date? Write Datetime, 1319 Jenkins Avenue, X™® Norman, Oklahoma 73072.

Remember dear Vincent The rendezvous made.

When all is revealed.

Our hearts freely to trade.

KENT: One bedroom, unfurnished apartment close to Hope CoUege. Available May 1.

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Easter Bunny Slain In Hope College Bloodbath The Easter Bunny

By Erica Hotwell ranchor News Editor This last Friday, only a week after the Good Friday holiday was c e l e b r a t e d by Hope Administrators at their annual Good Friday Picnic, the Easter Bunny was brutally slain.

The incident happened on the front lawn of President John Jacobson's house, where three maintenance workers from the Hope College Physical Plant

were tolling in the garden, planting tulip bulbs. An English professor, who asked to remain anonymous, saw the entire incident from the Pine Grove.

"It was horrible. They just cornered poor little Peter Cottontail and dashed his brains out with garden hoes. There were little blue, red, and yellow eggs everywhere," said the English professor.

This is the third time in less than a month t h a t Hope

Profs At Calvin Dismissed

By Erica Hotwell ranchor News Editor Two professors at Calvin College were dismissed this past week, for the so-called "Teaching of Evolution."

The two professors. Dr. Philip V a n d e r V a n , and J a c o b V a n H u l s k e n h u l s k e n , both biology professors, were forced to leave because the Calvin College administration felt they were teaching "evolutionary" courses.

VanderVan, who has been a Calvin College professor since his birth in 1896, has his degree in medicine, and runs a lucrative practice In Drenthe, when he's not teaching. He was cited for s h o w i n g h i s c l a s s an "evolutionary" development of a baby as It moves from the stages of conception to birth.

"This Is preposterous," said Calvin President Mickey Van Gorbachev, "they should never have shown the students those pictures. It's a sin. It's a sin! If God had wanted us to see those kinds of things, he would have given woman a see-through womb!" He said. "That kind of professor is just too dangerous to have around here at a good, liberal, Christian school."

Ranchor Phiies

VanHulskenhulsken, a visiting Instructor In biology, recently received his degree from Kendall School of Design, where he majored In aesthetic medical painting. His pictures were "too graphic, especially for watercolors," according to one Calvin student.

15 years ago today...

April 13,1973 - The college was f r a n t i c a l l y s e a r c h i n g for contractors and architects to give estimates on a new sports facility. All previous bidders had reportedly refused to do work for the college because they were offended by they called "the unprecedented ugliness" of Vanderwerf and the VanZoren Library.

20 years ago today...

April 13, 1968 - Absolutely nothing happened. The world got together and took a day off.

Both professors were caught showing pictures of actual embryos to their respective classes, and VanHulskenhulsken was even seen with an artist's rendering of a woman giving birth -T 8

30 years ago today...

April 13, 1958 - Dean of Admissions, Dr. VanConverslon, was fired after he admitted to only accepting applications from "cute, blonde chicks" and students with last n a m e s {beginning with'V.

Maintenance workers have committed violent acts. Several weeks ago, three of the workers were reported to have smashed a black squirrel in front of DePree art gallery, while the week before, St. Patrick himself was buried by them under the tuplip beds on Central Avenue.

That particular time, a Hope Maintenance man, Mortimer Snerd, confessed to the crime.

"Yup." He said, in a candid interview. "I offed the little

sucker. I was over in the Kletz, sippin' some green beer outa my thermos, when along comes this little feller in a green skirt with a goofy looking hat. I says "Hey, little feller, want some green

s a i n t . " Even so, he was commended by one member of the Hope administration, who said "at least he had the common sense to bury him off campus."

beer?" and he says to me "Well, sure 'an begorrah! 14 So I whopped him upside the head with my hammer for usin* profanity," Snerd said, grinning.

Snerd was dismissed by the college for "slaying a patron

"It's just horrendous." said a spokesman for the American Society to Prevent Cruelty to Animals, when asked about the brutal slaylngs. "I mean, what are all the college students going to do on Easter without an Easter Bunny? Go to church?"

Hope Decides To Stop Providing Toilet Paper ByMim Jonnett ranchor news writer In an effort to clean up the hallways in the dormitories, the administration of Hope College has decided to stop providing toilet paper in the bathrooms.

The controversial move is intended to show the students that cleanliness of the school is their responsibility, too. An administration spokesman said the s t u d e n t s d o n ' t t a k e cleanliness seriously.

Friday, April 15, will be the last day for school-provided toilet paper. After that, students will be l e f t to fend for themselves. The spokesman said the students weren't being

punished, but rather taught an i m p o r t a n t l e s s o n in responsibility.

When asked what the students would use instead of toilet paper, the spokesman said "well, I wouldn't recommend Kleenex, since that'll just plug up the toilets. I would recommend them getting their own personal rolls.

Then they won't waste their own toilet paper in the halls."

Students interviewed at r a n d o m by t h e a n c h o r commented on the toilet paper action: "If they stop the toilet paper," junior Darcy Mistodowski said, "I'll go to Meijer's and get my own. Heck, I'll even splurge and

buy two-ply. It'll probably be better than the Vfe ply sandpaper I use now."

In response to the toilet paper scandal, a Meijer's food chain spokesman said that the chain would be raising their prices on toilet paper to five dollars per roll in an effort to work with the administration on cleanliness.

Sophomore Antoine Lefebber said, "if they plan to take the toilet paper from us, I hope they themselves go without it. It would be a real sign of solidarity.

If they aren't willing to do that, then I'll have no qualms about using the thin pages from my World Lit book for substituted toilet paper."

Petition On "Sexist Terms" Presented To Jocobson This week. President John Jacobson was presented with a petition signed by over 2,000 students demanding that certain faculty members change their n a m e s b e c a u s e they a r e considered sexist names.

Professors Anthony Mulderman of the business d e p a r t m e n t and S t e p h e n Hemenway of the English d e p a r t m e n t , along with President Jacobson himself, have been requested to change the portions of their names referring to the male sex. A spokesperson of the group said, "We have determined that these

last names, as they stand, are offensive to any female members of their families and must be changed immediately."

The petitioners provided possible changes such ' ' H e p e o p l e w a y , ' * ' ' M u l d e r p e r s o n , " and Jacobperson."

The spokesperson said the next action of the group will be to present another petition to United States President Ronald Reagan, demanding changes of other sexist words. Number one on this list Is to change Manhattan to Peoplehattan. "It's cruel and unusual punishment to

wopeople to live in an area that infers only men may live there," said the spokesperson.

The group goes on to demand that children will mind their peopleners rather than their manners; wopeople will go to the peoplecurist rather than the m a n i c u r i s t ; f a c t o r i e s will p e o p l e f a c t u r e r a t h e r than manufacture; and laws will be peopledatory, not mandatory.

The spokesperson insists that the main function of the group is "to create a world where all hupeopleklnd can live in peace and harmony."

Page 7 i

A p r i l 13, 1988

Basketball Team Placed On Probation Scandal Rocks College For Violations Coach Glenn Van Wieren has The Hope College basketball program has been put on been cited as one of the most p r o b a t i o n s t e m m i n g f r o m serious offenders. According to violations during the 1987-1988 NCAA rules, the 11-year coach season including a coach who is has never once yelled, broken a too reserved, team shooting clipboard, or thrown so much as percentage far above allowable a towel at anyone, all of which rates, and having too many are requirements of college family members involved in the basketball coaches.

The second charge centered promotion of sporting activities.

Reports out of NCAA Division around the f a c t t h a t the III headquarters say that they Dutchmen had a team shooting Flying Dutchmen are in danger percentage high above the NCAA of losing a large portion of one of limit. NCAA Division III Rule the school's most popular sports. No. 13, Article 7.3 states that "No

team shall be allowed to participate in league competition if their combined shooting percentage exceedes five percentage points of their opponents' total in any given season."

Hope shot 51 percent from the floor during the 1987-88 season, led by senior center Matt Strong, while their opponents shot ]ust 44 percent from the floor.

The third allegation arose when it was learned that Thomas L. Renner, the Director of Public

Semester In Hell Offered John Huisken announced today that Hope College will be s p o n s o r i n g a n e w GLCA program: a semester in hell.

Huisken said that the program will be geared towards the needs of religion majors, but he added that the semester would be open for anyone who would like to apply.

A c c o r d i n g to H u i s k e n , seminars will be offered in weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth. These will be taught by Jean Paul Sartre, with an occasional appearance by the devil himself. In addition, internships tailored to individual interests will be offered: for example, those interested in sailing might be asigned an internship with the captain of a

Relations at Hope, has had his entire family involved in public relations.

Rule No. 15, Article 8 allows no more than two members per family involved In any promotion of sport at a time. In addition to his wife, both Renner's son Dan and his daughter Sue have been involved in everything from keeping stats to taking pictures.

(4 It is unfortunate," said one NCAA official, "that something like this should happen, especially after 100 years of

M

44 ship on the lake of fire.

It's OK, though," he said. "Just Unfortunately, Huisken said, bring a lot of Incense with you." housing in hell is tight, but the Slashe was somewhat devil has agreed to house disappointed that hell cannot students in a small house near a compare with New York's major sulphurous pit. Here, the cheesecakes. 44They don't even devil assured Huisken, the have cheesecake," she added, participants will find truth in Dr. "because cheesecake would Sartre's assertion that 4'Hell is melt. However, the hot apple pie just other people." is wonderful." Both agreed that Although no students have yet the seminars have merit, and p a r t i c i p a t e d in an e n t i r e that you would not be able to semester, Huisken sent two have a similar experience alumni of the New York Arts anywhere else.

Program, Elizabeth Slashe and 44 Michael Testament, to evaluate Who ever thought they'd be the program. They returned with able to see hell in their lifetime?" kudos for the devil and his Slashe enthused. Testament demonic aides. Testament noted summed it up by saying, 44If that the rooms were slightly you're looking to get off campus larger than they were in New for a semester, hell is a hot York, but considerably smellier. option."

FOUR REASONS

scandal-free sports."

An i n d i c t m e n t of t h i s magnitude could lead to a "death sentence" for the basketball program at the MIAA school similar to that handed to SMU's football program, as well as an entire overhaul of the public relations department.

Neither Van Wieren nor Renner were available for comment. An investigation is under way, the results of which will be released in three to six weeks.

Scope College

^

1

he ranchorl Editor

Entertainment Editor

Breenie Weenie

A l Capone

Assistant Editor

Photo Editor Saul Brainless

Brenda Starr

Nonsense Editor

Advertisina Manager

Erica Hotwell

Mister Hooper

Soorts Editor

Staff W r i t e r s

Ben J. Handyman

Mim Jonnett

Feature Editor

J.C. Wherehaveyoubeen Jimmy Olsen

Shannon Kaylene PubUitaed tektom and McrvCly during the colleft yew under the authority of Juk about anyone wlahlng to take respooalbUty. The editor refuiet to take reapoosiblitv for the optnkms expressed In this paper. The opinions do not reflect the opinions of the college or anyone else They lust happened to be lying around Bruce King's office when we went to press.

o f f i c e located on R U a r Avenue, at Arthur*! Bar. Office hours arc 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. on Thursday nlghta.

SMOKELESS TOBACCO. yVorried about w a l k i n g alone on campus?

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• LOW COST INTIMIDATION CALL OUR RECEPTIONIST M A BARKER N O W ! ! I

A p r i l 13, 1988 Page 8

Raising Hell Breeze Blame

lf

ou c o M be anvone at Scope Co e9e

y

Mark Travis Sophomore

Mark Travis Sophomore

•Td be a Head Resident, because you could drink on rammis and not cet caught."

' T d like to be a Hope Maintenance worker, because you get to kill squirrels and neat stuff like that."

assifieds & Personals

"

Mark Travis Sophomore like

to be the librarian at the new library, so I would always have a place to sit when stud y-

'

who would you be?

Mark Travis Sophomore

Mark Travis Sophomore

' T d like to be a black squirrel, "I d like to be a Safety so Hope Maintenance men could officer, because then I could chase me with blunt instruments, drive down the middle of the and I would constantly live with campus and park in handicapped the fear of death." spots without getting any tickets."

Hope To Annex Liquor Stores

By Erica Hotwell ranchor News Editor

Said Mayor Tanis, "It's a great plan to solve the problem we've been discussing of alcohol sales on Sunday in Holland. Since Hope is a Christian school, there should be no problem with this new policy. Alcohol will henceforth be available on Sundays only to college students or Hope CoUege professors and administrators."

The move is said to anger such local pubs as Sklle's and Arthur's, hangouts of both professors and college students.

"It's unfair," said Joseph VanderSchmasma, part-owner of Skile's Tavern. "I mean, we

The rumors are true: Hope Come learn all the various ways College plans to add Redder's ATTENTION ALL MRS. degree majors and minors: there will be to whittle. 6 p.m. In the boiler Party otore and Columbia Avenue One-Stop to the campus, a strategy meeting Friday night room below Knit Witt Center. at 1 a.m. Frat Complex PEE WEE HERMAN look alike as early as fall of this year. basements. Be there or be contest in Durfee Hall. 9 p.m.

It's all part of a new campus lonely... forever.

Saturday in Phulps Hall. Food STRAIGHT MALE s e e k s service employees are Ineligible expansion project sponsored by members of the administration straight female lor straight fun. to enter.

Send no picture, I trust your FOURTH FLOOR Durfee guys in conjunction with Mayor Phil judgement. Jealous homosexuals we hate your stinking guts! Love Tanis of Holland. The plan will be to retain the store's liquor and horny lesbians need not and misses — Cluster 9-3 license, as part of a growing apply. Write P.O. Box 00, PRE-MARITAL SEX and you, demand for an on-campus liquor Saugatuck, MI. an honors seminar will be store.

WHY KILL time when you can sponsored by the Condom kill yourself?

Makers of America (CMA) this LOST: I.U.D in the vienity of Van summer. For registration Vleck Hall... no seriously it's not information contact the janitor in mine... I borrowed from a the men's locker room, Dow friend... he'll kill me if I don't Center. find it...

CHEATING on your taxes, better ATTENTION ALL STUDENTS: Insider trading, and wife T h e F i e n d of S t u d e n t swapping are the topics for this Development will be conducting month's meeting of the Business a nuclear test explosion to test C o l l o q u i m . F o r m o r e ONE OF THE AREAS LARGESP SELECTIONS how much punishment each information send 10 blue chip OF DOMiESTIG & IMPORTED WINES fraternity and sorority can take. shares, a money clip, and a If you would like to participate lipstick smeared hankerchief to the Business Department. please call xNUKE. Altered or mutilated entries will SUGAR kills be rejected or given to the MAN IS NOT A POLITICAL Holland Chamber of Commerce.

ANIMAL... man is a party APATHY: the one thing no one CORNER OF THE animal — Bluto has to work at...

4 TANNER FOR PRESIDENT 88 DEWIIT'STUDENT" CENTER BASEMENT EQUALITY FOR ALL! Minne THE LEAST ACTIVITIES Mouse for President.

COMMITTE (LAC) presents an 007 is dead 111.

A V f f n t i i f l with ^ pockff fadfe

HOPE-GENEVA I'ARTY STORE Picnic & Party Supplies 394—7833

should be able to sell to the professors on Sundays, too."

In addition, the plan allows for meal tickets normally used in Phelps cafeteria to be used at the party stores. The scramble system, as Western Food Service uses, will also be in effect, and the "all-you-can-eat" policy of Phelps will also extend to the liquor stores.

"This should definitely cure the problems we've been having with complaints that the prices for 10 and 15-meaI plans are too high." Said Hope's current Dean of Student Development.

PACXABE

KEG BEER IN STOCK

â&#x20AC;˘T

A p r i l 13, 1988

Page 9

Fun Tuesdays Canceled In Order To Cut Spending The U.S. Government canceled Tuesdays yesterday in an effort to cut government spending.

"With a four-day work week we could cut one-fifth off everyone's salary," said Nemore Dargent, spokesman from the government's accounting office, the Office of Management and Budget. Dargent said the money saved would be phenomenal and no one would really miss Tuesday anyway.

"The other days of the week serve important functions, but Tuesday is just kind of there," Dargent said. "Monday is a day needed for its intrinsic hate value. If people didn't have Monday to hate they would probably hate each other more and drive up crime. Wednesdays are hump days, so they are usually a pretty good day overall. Thursdays are needed for people to have time to look forward to the weekend. Fridays are Tridays!' and we wouldn't d r e a m of c a n c e l i n g t h e weekend."

The government considered keeping the seven-day week and

making a three-day weekend, but they rejected the idea when they figured in the cost of overtime for some government officials and the highway death tolls that always jump way up on other three-day weekends.

Beyond the money saved by canceling Tuesdays, Dargent

Moci

e

HI

*

Crystal Cathedral"

pointed out other advantages.

With a six-day week people exercising could exercise every other day and always do it on the same days every week. Another

By Erica Hotwell exercise advantage would be the ranchor News Editor end of Super Tuesday, the media's yearly exercise in After visiting the Rev. Robert futility.

Schuller in California, Hope College President John H. Jacobson has made plans to build his own "crystal cathedral".

Nicaragua Term Needs Support

I am appalled at your lack of news reports on my new offcampus program, the Nicaragua Semester. The program takes people on academic probation and sends them to Nicaragua for a semester, or for life, whichever ends first.

The students are sent to different Contra areas depending on their majors. Science majors have found great success working with demolitions and mine clearing. Business majors have become productive members of supply for the Contras and work closely with Political Science majors who do

Jacobson Plans To Build His Own

work with the White House Basement.

Last semester we even had English majors working in Managua ( t h e c a p i t a l of N i c a r a g u a ) doing very important propaganda work.

The work these students are doing is incredible and deserves some support. I have found the program to be great incentive for GPA raising. The program also raises the political awareness of the students involved.

DR. MARK E. DESADE ACADEMIC S U P P O R T CENTER

Although Jacobson stated that this will not in any way detract from the use of Dimnent Chapel by students during regular chapel service, plans are The structure, scheduled for currently being made to televise construction in Fall, 1969, will be services from the new chapel. built over the spot where the Hope professors are also Holland Clock Tower now stands, expected to be recruited for off River Avenue. Schuller construction of the building, himself has agreed to help, by which will be dedicated in a gala donating $500 to the college. ceremony lasting a full week in late November 1969.

The project, which was originally planned to be called Realtor Bat Masterson, who the "Crystal Clock-tower," has could not be reached for since been modified, due to comment, is rumored to be budget cuts. It will now be called providing the plexiglass sheets the "Crystal Chapel", the result for the building, along with being of a week's planning by members instrumental in the sale of the of an ad hoc committee to decide clock tower to Hope College. His upon the name. Other names secretary, however, commented considered were the "Crystal that "be stands to make a C a s t l e . " t h e " C r y s t a l bundle" on this deal.

rn i t l Q H

^ Tn

Dorm Presentations Daily

Condominium," the "Crystal Crate," and the "Crystal Mobile Home."

by Berke Breathed

BLOOM COUNTY MOW jusr

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MOST KeSFSCTS

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FAMILY DENTISTRY

rum Am KAJFmfi'S wm INSWAP' /

24 Hour Emergency Sen/ice

399-0288 Students we accept your p a r e n t ' s i n s u r a n c e

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p., piero d.d.s.

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PECENTIY-

MONDAY NIGHT -

A

HOT DOGS 50*

| ^

TUESDAY NIGHT -

LIVE ENTERTAINMENT WEDNESDAY NIGHT

LIVE ENTERTAINMENT THURSDAY NIGHT

COLLEGE NIGHT SUPER BEERS $1.50 BEFOHEWEMOVP

CAPnve mpmrnm mxxssuecftu.

BEPHAPSMZMW;

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THAT'S 'POCEZATION;'

FRIDAY NIGHT SATURDAY NIGHT

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you 0003

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C96-4577 • River Avenue between 9th & 10th

/ HO JUHW 4*

—

************ *

^

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\* P317I Z Z A C O I Central Ave. At 13th St. J by t h e slice

SWE.-OH, 5TBVE...

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(OR OPTIMIST'S ) VIEW WASIM, SAW. HZ HAP'00M TO Be WITH THE LORP," AS OPUS MXJLP SAY.

BY-ANP-BY, A WAKB WAS CfiOBP iN STEVE'S HB WAS AN HONEST MAN...ft PECENT , MTRNRY. FPteNPS tm...f\smpe ^OAJMNGPTOPEMMPMAN...

STVJe WAS A (XOP MAN...

392-6080

:%************

Attention Hope College !

G r e a t lakes Pizza w a n t s to be your pizza place.

Open 7 Days M.m 11 AM-l AM. F. Sat 11 AM2AM Sua 5 PM-12 AM

HE WAS AHem*

wmin OUR DO JVERY AREA M. W. 4 PM 11 PM. Th. M AH1 AM AJI Day Fri. Sal. Sun

mm

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exp 4/20/88 i $1.00 off

1f

any 2 stromboli

^

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$1.00 off any

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2 subs

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exp 4/20/88J

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t PIZZA CO

i

exp 4/20/88 i

1 -4 Items

ptus A 2-UTER BOTTLE OF POP

M

$1.00 off any 12'

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any 14" pizza

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{

A p r i l 13, 1988 P a g e 11

Opinion Still Life Gone Fishin'

Jim Monnett At my grandparent's home when I was younger, my mom told me to go sit by my grandfather and just talk to him.

I was too young to understand why, but my mom said it was important that I talked to him. I went into the old room and sat next to him. He sat in his chair.

He only moved from that chair to eat dinner.

I knew he was old, but he was still a big man. Not big in physical stature, but big in the sense of somehow great. He hadn't lost his hair so he didn't look that old.

I knew he was old from his cough. It wasn't a normal cough.

It came from deep within his chest and it seemed to drain him.

I didn't think much of it at the

time. Grandparents are supposed to cough differently.

It's a fact of life.

Our conversation didn't start well, but eventually we started to talk about fishing. My grandpa loved fishing. We talked for over an hour about the excitement of reeling in a fish no matter how big or small. He had caught some real fish in his time. He wasn't any expert fisherman, but it was a hobby that he loved. A hobby that he said he couldn't do anymore.

A few weeks later my dad came home with a gift from my grandpa. It was his old green tackle box with a bunch of ancient, but suddenly exciting lures. There was also an expensive reel inside. I'd

recently gotten a nice modern early. They told me not to smoke. reel for my fishing rod, but this It was a wasted effort. The smell was a reel from the time fishing in that hospital room had already meant more to people than just convinced me. catching fish. I have only used The day of his funeral I was out that reel on Portage Lake where in the backyard with the dog my grandpa spent his summers when two vaguely familiar for over forty years. neighbors came up to me. They I saw my grandpa a few mpre told me that they knew how I felt times, but then he went into the and that they were sorry. Then hospital. He was in there because they headed down to the beach. of his cough. My parents They hadn't meant any harm, explained that he was very sick.

We drove out to Euclid Memorial Hospital-the same place where I was born. My dad led us up to a room.

The room smelled antiseptic, but with a strange odor. They said it was the smell of sickness.

My grandpa was very thin. He looked very old. I don't remember what was said. I do remember not understanding what had taken my grandpa out of his chair and brought him here.

Later we were at a cottage on Portage Lake where we were staying for a few weeks. We got a call from an uncle. Grandpa had passed away. My parents drove back, leaving my brother and I with relatives from the other side of the family.

People told me that he had died of emphysema which turned his lungs black. It had also caused that cough. They told me that a lifetime of cigarettes, chewing tobacco and pipe smoking had killed him twenty-five years

but they had pushed me over a break-point. Here were two people who never really liked my Grandpa, telling me that they knew how I felt. No one can ever know how another feels when someone has died.

I fished a lot that summer. I haven't fished much since. Up until now I couldn't understand what my attraction to fishing was then. I think I know now.

Petitions for next year's

STUDENT CONGRESS

ARE AVAILABLE IN THE Student Congress Office! petitions due monday april 18

elections friday april 22

Van Ww'en Dedication Day Schedule 10:00 Convocation in Dimnent Chapel. Ribbon Cutting at Van Wylen immediately following.

11:30 Reception and tour of 'Van Wylen Library 11:30 Parade through campus begins in the "'"Siberia" parking lot.

12:00 Renaissance Feast in front of Van Zoeren 1:00-3:00 Renaissance Fair begins . / f -r'y-rr

s-.-r-r.-.r**-.: "TM '

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A p r i l 13, 1988 I

P a g e 12

DeBruyn Elected President { of Association Maxine DeBruyn, associate p r o f e s s o r of d a n c e a n d chairperson of the department at Hope College, has been elected to a three-year term as the president of the Midwest District Association for Health, Physical Education, Recreation, and Dance. She is the first dance educator to become president of the Midwest District since it was created in 1912.

The Midwest District Is one of six districts of the American Alliance for Health, Physical Education, Recreation, and Dance. With a membership of 7,000, the Midwest District states Include Illinois, I n d i a n a , Michigan, Ohio, West Virginia, and Wisconsin. The mission of the American Alliance Is to aid professionals and consumers In

the development and practice of healthy sport, dance, and recreation activities.

DeBruyn will serve the M i d w e s t D i s t r i c t as t h e president-elect this year, the president next year, and the past president In two years.

As president, she will also become a member of the Board of Directors of the American Alliance. In June, she will conduct a leadership training workshop for the district presidents of the American Alliance In Washington, D.C. A member of the Hope faculty since 1965, DeBruyn is also the vice president of Michigan Council for the Arts and Education as well as the dance chlar for the Commission on Children's Dance of the National Dance Association.

I ' A i m STORE Picnic & Party Supplies MON'-TWURS 8 AM- 11PM —FRI &-8AT 8 AM -1 RM AMPLE FREE PARKING

217 East 8Th Corrter Of Lincoln

P r e g n a n c y c a n also b e e n j o y e d W e live in .i society llui problems

and inconvenience

one rarely for

expectant

before

£ v

r v v *

points, Calvin 94, Alma 59, Kalamazoo 58, Albion 52, Adrian 40 and Olivet 22.

Nine s t u d e n t s h a d t h e distinction of earning a letter four years In-a-row. These students by sport are: men's basketball. Sue Bulkema of Hudsonville and DeeAnn Knoll of Grand Rapids ; men' s swimming, Tom Grablll of Wyoming, Todd Korell of Chicago, IL, and Klrt Van Overen of Kentwood; and women's swimming, Karla koops of Holland, Jennifer Straley of Flushing, and Nancy Zwart of Grand Rapids.

H o p e College

The anchor 1

mothers,

within

are popularly

they can deled

already

completely

actively

engaged

one delight

their body.

identified

all organ

in the exercise

\

%

everything while

with p egnancy ^ ^e''

that can be found

is to discover

Some are surprised

the new life stirring

formed:

of nearly

to be pregnancy,

within

h o w (heir child to learn ^at them,

the child

of his or her muscles, joints

is

long

systems are functioning:

' • bu necessary for their growth and development. liy 25 days the heart starts beating

By JO days the child V

Letterwlnners on winter sports teams at Hope College have been announced by athletic directors Anne Irwin and Ray Smith.

Hope had a successful winter sports season, winning MIAA c h a m p i o n s h i p s In m e n ' s basketball and women's swimming and finishing second In women's basketball and men's swimming.

Hope Is leading the MIAA allsports standings after winter competition. Hope teams are seeking to win the all-sports honor for the ninth consecutive year. The standing through winter sports are: Hope 102

enjoyment

appears

hears of the joys and satisfactions

developing

Winter Sports

emphasizes

w e do. O n e e x c e p t i o n , however,

ITVr

Hope Successful in

KEG BEER IN STOCK

is

and is and limbs,

has an

unmistakable human brain, eyes, ears, mouth, kidneys Jiver and - umbilical cord pumping its own blood. By 45 days brain waves can be " j

^

detected • bud,

•

and the child's

of milk

hi, palm

skeleton

teeth appear,

is complete,

in cartilage

not bone, and

liy 63 days he will grasp an ob/ect placed

in

and can make a list.

I he I) j by move, *lih jn ejsy y j e e in Im buoyan. w o r l d and Im position in ^ womb -s dependent on vvhal is most comfortable tor him. He is responsive o o u h a n d c o l d and S oand and c

(

(

light. He drinks his a m n . o l i c fluid, more if it is sweetened and less ,1 < is « ' v e y ' ^ e h i c c u p s a n d sucks his thumb. He wakes and sleeps, gets bored s o m e l i m e s a n d c a n be l a u g h ,..1/ for somrtlmn

now

miancy and childhood.

Jhuuuh w e understand

Fvcn the child's thu problems

personality

involved

is w e / I u n d e r w a y and will

. with some p r e g n a n c i e s , w e at

o be

be carried R I R T H R I G H T OF . . ,,

H O L L A ! ID a ISO know ol the warmth, satisfaction, and personal joy the e x P e ' ' l ' n c e " n b ^ vv you re worried aboul pregnam.y. give us a c a l l . . . . We listen. We help. We Care About You. free p r e g n a n c y lesting a n d c o u n s e l i n g , medical

Birthright

Of

Holland

A financial

assistance

refernh.

396-5840

Fditni-'s note- The anchor and content. All letters must be welcomes letters to the editor, signed. Names and addresses mlTl* " S K d to less and may be edited for space discretion by the editor.

personal

service.

21 W. 16th

letters to: The Editor, Hope College anchor, D«Witt Center, Hope College, Holland, MI 4M2J309B.

Send

COLLEGE PRESS SERVICE

Subscriber

ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR

EDITOR

Scott Mondnelli

Brion Br*«n

ASSISTANT EDITOR Kothy Kar NEWS EDITOR Eric Shotwell SPORTS EDITOR Ben J. Hanneman

Feature Editor Kaylene Shannon

Q PHOTO EDITOR

AUDITIONS FOR

HOPE CHAPEL CHOIR

Pout Chamnett

ADVERTISING MANAGER C. Forrest hoover STAFF WRITERS Jim Monnett Geoff Penrose A.C. Vonderkofk

I

WOMEN (SOPRANOS AND ALTOS) MONDAY, APRIL 11 MEN (TENORS AND BASSES) MONDAY, APRIL 18

rutitlifnd weekly during the school year under the authority of the Student Media Com-

il

.a.

QlfL**

levo/of DaWitt Center In the Student Organization Aroa. Fundthrouflh ft.

Congr... Appropriation.

Committee.

• POSTMASTER: Send addrett change* to The anchor. OeWItt Center. Hope CoHogj. Molland. Ml 49423-3696. Theopinfens of this newtpaper are not necessarily those of the student body, faculty, or administration.

SIGN—UP ROOM 122 MUSIC BUILDING