Absolutely no fun without tee
Women (teens) Rob Lowe has known somewhere else Chastity
College Mcijcr Bulk Rale
V o l u m e 5 2 0 ml.
Number 3,141592654
FahrvergnOgen
Mav
14,1866
Drug use suspected
Freak accident injures three (CHASTITY) -- A Campus S a f e t y Van s t u d e n t d r i v e r , known only a s Sinbad, found himself and his two victims in Holland H o s p i t a l ' s I n t e n s i v e Care Unit last night a f t e r a bizarre incident. Winesses reported seeing the f a m i l i a r blue van with red flashing light recklessly speeding about campus. Many wary students reported that they opted to not use the service but to walk instead. At about 10:30 p.m., Sinbad was driving the van, with no passengers, down 10th Street when he went up the c u r b and drove along the sidewalk for 50 to 60 feet before hitting and injuring freshdudes Bitsy Flat and Jennifer Van Oats. The two women had been waiting outside of Gilmore for a ride to the Kletz for a "late-night donut b r e a k . " Because Sinbad, Flat and Van Oats have not yet regained consciousness, investigators of the incident have been looking into several possible causes. Christopher McFee from the
Campus Safety department suspects that Sinbad "fell asleep while at the wheel a f t e r a stressful week of t e s t s " and that the incident was "accidental and not malicious in any way. Sinbad has an excellent employment record and is a good student," the officer continued in Sinbad's defense. The d e p a r t m e n t will continue its investigation upon the recovery of Sinbad a n d / o r the two victims. Several people hold a different view, suspecting foul play in the incident. Fourteen students reported to the Holland Police, fearing bias from Campus Safety officials, that Sinbad was in the b u s i n e s s of s e l l i n g a n d distributing alcohol and drugs while on duty. The sources, whose names have been withheld, claim that Sinbad provided "door-to-door" delivery of the illegal materials. Reports consisted of deliveries of weekend beer kegs to college parties as well as occasional sixpacks to dorm rooms. There were two reports of Sinbad dealing crack, although those reports
have not yet been confirmed. Also backing up the alcoholdrug theory a r e reports from students who have used the van service that Sinbad seemed nervous around passengers and behaved irrationally when Holland Police cars were visible. One student, Mary Krueger. said "He always was jittery and once had asked me to wait in the van while he delivered a small package into Durfee Hall." Several friends of the two injured women say that Flat and Van Oats had been building up evidence for the past three weeks to prove that Campus Safety was involved in an illegal alcoholdrug distribution program Because of the proliferation of accusations, the Holland Police will head the investigation to determine if there is any truth to these claims and what Sinbad's role might have been. They a r e also investigating the r u m o r s that Roxette played " D a n g e r o u s " while the Rockettes danced at a recent Boyd Cottage Hotdog and Chili P a r t y
Chastity College spikes tuition by Kiugo Starr beat reporter In a totally unforseen, shocking move, Chastity College s administration announced that tuition will be raised for next year. It marked the first time in five years that Chastity has raised tuition. For the previous five years, tuition h a s dropped an a v e r a g e of five percent each y e a r for an overall five y e a r drop of 25 percent. However with this y e a r ' s increase (projected at 75 percent over last y e a r ' s levels) the college will have a 50 percent gain over the tuition level five y e a r s ago. This gives the college in actuality a 10 percent increase for each of the p a s t five years. P e r h a p s by coincidence, Ran-
chor records show that a similar 75 percent i n c r e a s e occured before the last cycle of five percent decreases. Administration officials state, however, that they a r e not "pulling one o v e r " on the students. Said college president Minnie Van " T h e fact that this cycle of decreases followed by an increase has happened before is a m e r e coincidence. We do not have any sort of a racket going h e r e . " Board of Trustees m e m b e r Trevor A. Aandpee stated that the increase was necessary "so that the College can continue to upgrade its facilit' " Aandpee stated the college n t .ded to build a new Ritz Carleton hotel on campus, and that they would like to build a new rollercoaster for
the college theme park. "We can't meet our obligations to the community without these imp r o v e m e n t s , " said Aandpee. Van also stated that a new housing policy would be put in effect that would make it much more difficult to get off-campus permission, and would ensure that all college housing facilities would be filled to capactiy. Van said that the new housing policy might force s o m e rooms that had been designed as doubles to be used as triples, and that cutbacks may also c o m e in the college food service. "It is possible that food quality and living comfort m a y decrease, but the money is needed so that we can meet our obligations to the c o m m u n i t y , " said Van.
Campus Safety's new parking policy: Illegal parkers have a storm conjured up on their cars.
R a n c h o r bQrcier