Varsity Issue 706

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Friday November 13th 2009

The Independent Student Newspaper since 1947

Issue no 706 | varsity.co.uk

University Library could be renamed after benefactor alastair appleton

Single featuring Stephen Hawking released

Westminster

Tilly Wilding-Coulson Reporter

college Claire Gatzen Senior Reporter

A row has erupted following a unilateral decision to sell the right to name Cambridge University Library after the highest bidder.

The Library is offering what it describes as “the ultimate commemorative naming opportunity” to raise funds in exchange for external sponsorship.

But Professor Gillian Evans, a member of the University’s Regent House governing body, attacked the move, arguing that a commercial tie-up would damage the Library’s reputation and adversely influence academic activities.

Evans expressed anger that University staff had not been consulted about the renaming plans, telling a Regent House meeting, “At this rate, one might set off for the University Library one morning to

find it turned into a branch of Tesco with an internet cafe, if the General Board fancied that idea. What is there to stop someone literally buying the library? What sort of message would be sent out?”

She also suggested that the Library might have breached University protocol, telling Varsity, “There is a code under which benefactions are supposed to be considered. It was created while I was on the University Council. Did anyone even glance at this before agreeing this ‘offer’? We’d all like to know.”

University Librarian Anne Jarvis defended the move as a valid attempt to boost fundraising. She stated, “it is completely normal for an institution of this calibre to explore the full range of fundraising options open to it. The University Library is home to some of the most important collections of books and manuscripts in the world. It continues to seek external support so that

it can enhance its collections and develop the services provided to its users.

“This proposal is no different to those already undertaken by most major research libraries.

“External donations are about helping the Library maintain its global position and enhancing the services provided, not detracting from them.”

Evans, Emeritus Professor of Medieval Theology and Intellectual History, also told Varsity that she was concerned about the consequences of the rebranding plans for academic research.

She explained, “Cambridge has accepted benefactions for centuries but in recent years it has recognised that it is important to check that the money is ‘clean’ and that the benefactor does not want to attach strings to it, which could compromise the University’s proper academic activities.

“Academic research these days

often depends on getting funding but it is very important that the funder can’t control the questions that are asked or suppress the results if he doesn’t like them.

If Bill Gates did want to name the Library after himself mightn’t he want to press for more IT resources and fewer books?

“I’m sure Anne Jarvis is sincere in what she says but when deals have to be done to get huge sums of money, how confident can we be that the University will stick to its guns?

It took money from GKN [a global automotive and aerospace manufacturing company] and allowed a GKN representative to join the committee that chose the new GKN professor.”

Opi n ion a mongst students appears to be divided. A thirdyear Historian supported Professor Evans’ stance, telling Varsity she thought the move was “ridiculous”.

Continued on page 3.

This week, Third Man Records, released its newest project, single ‘A Glorious Dawn’, which features Professor Stephen Hawking, Fellow of Gonville and Caius College.

Third Man is the label of breakthrough acts The White Stripes, Whirlwind Heat and Jack White’s spin off venture, The Raconteurs.

The single is made up of excerpts from Carl Sagan’s award-winning 80s television show, ‘Cosmos: A Personal Voyage’, mixed with samples of Hawking’s synthetic speech and various instruments. It was created by composer John Boswell.

Sagan earned his worldwide fame through publication of popular science books in addition to the renowned television show.

The single is a tribute to Sagan, who died in 1996 at 62. November 9th would have been Sagan’s 75th birthday.

Hawking, author of A Brief History of Time, suffers from amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (a variant of motor neurone disease), and communicates by way of a speech synthesiser. He has been in the news most recently for stepping down from the position of Lucasian Professor of Mathematics.

The single’s accompanying video can be viewed on YouTube.

Simon Blackburn Co-operation should be at the heart of human relations

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News

Friday November 13th 2009 www.varsity.co.uk

News Editors: Avantika Chilkoti, Emma Mustich and Beth Staton news@varsity.co.uk emma mustich

In Brief CUR1350 nominated for two Student Radio Awards CUR1350, which broadcasts student radio from its studio in Churchill College, was nominated for two Student Radio Awards, for Best Student Radio Chart Show and Best Outside Broadcast (for its coverage of May Bumps this year). The Awards ceremony will be held on November 24th. CUR1350, which features programmes by students from the University of Cambridge and Anglia Ruskin, has been successful at the awards before, winning four awards in 2004, and receiving nine nominations (the most of any station in the country) and three awards in 2007.

May Ball regulations released by Council Cambridge City Council released their annual guide to running May Balls this week, provoking concerns that running such events may be subject to further restrictions in the future. The guide reasserts much of last year’s stipulation for running May Week effectively, including sections on noise pollution, drug restriction and hypnotists. Despite complaints after last year’s Jesus May Ball, however, it is not thought that the restrictions will mean enormous changes for planning events.

Department of Architecture building sold A building on Chaucer Road, home of the Department of Architecture’s Martin Centre for more than three decades, is being sold by the University. The asking price for the 10,000-square-foot Victorian building, which has an extensive garden and is close to the Botanic Garden, is £3.5 million.

The building and its accompanying cottage are not listed, but “they are within a conservation area and the main residence is recorded as a building of local interest.”

Get involved If you would like to find out how to write for Varsity, come to one of our weekly meetings.

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Maypole Pub (20A Portugal Place).

Alternatively, email the relevant section editor (right) with your ideas.

A

nglia Ruskin University held its graduation ceremonies at the Corn Exchange on Wednesday and Thursday this week. Graduates crowded Bene’t street in dark blue and gold graduation gowns, with relatives and friends. The university was founded in 1858 when Victorian writer and critic John Ruskin opened a School of Art in Sidney Street. It was not until 2005 that the enormously expanded institution was given its current title.

Cambridge MP David Howarth to stand down at general election Gemma Oke Senior Reporter The MP for Cambridge, David Howarth, has announced he will stand down at the next General Election to focus on his career as an academic.

Howarth announced last Thursday that he will not contest his seat, won in 2005 with a 10% majority over the second-placed Labour candidate.

A Fellow of Clare College since 1985, Mr Howarth lectured on Land Economy, Law and Economics between 1988 and 2005. He stressed that he would continue to serve constituents until the next General Election is called.

“After nearly 22 years of elected public office, the time has come for me to concentrate on my other life, as an academic” he said.

“I will continue enthusiastically

David Howarth (right) with members of the Cambridge Student Liberal Democrats to support the Liberal Democrats and Nick Clegg and I wish the party all success in the future. I also look forward to continuing to play a role in the party’s policy-making process.”

Liberal Democrat leader Nick

Clegg praised Howarth as “a politician of huge integrity and intellectual ability”, while Dom Weldon, chair of the Cambridge Student Liberal Democrats expressed “a heartfelt sadness” at David’s departure.

“A wise thinker, yet very down

to earth, David has proven to be the perfect MP for our city and our University” he said.

Howarth entered local politics in 1987 as a councillor for the Castle ward in Cambridge City, becoming the leader of the City Council in 2000.

As well as serving as the Liberal Democrat Shadow Secretary of State for Justice, Howarth has also played a significant role in formulating Liberal Democrat economic policy, and in environmental committees.

Recently he has campaigned against the introduction of tuition fees and ID cards, and voted very strongly for an investigation into the Iraq War. Howarth was one of few to escape the expenses scandal, as the only Liberal Democrat MP outside Greater London to commute from his constituency for Parliamentary sessions, rather than claim a second home allowance.

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Editors Robert Peal & Anna Trench editor@varsity.co.uk Associate Editors Jenny Morgan associate@varsity.co.uk & Laurie Tuffrey magazine@varsity.co.uk News Editors Avantika Chilkoti, Emma Mustich & Beth Staton news@varsity.co.uk Comment Editor Dan Hitchens comment@varsity.co.uk Sport Editors Will Caiger-Smith & Olly West sport@varsity.co.uk Features Editor Zing Tsjeng features@varsity.co.uk Arts Editor Laura Freeman arts@varsity.co.uk Theatre Editor Lauren Cooney theatre@varsity.co.uk Reviews & Listings Editor Paul Smith reviews@varsity.co.uk Fashion Editors Charlie Lyons, Joe Pitt-Rashid & Lara Prendergast

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Friday November 13th 2009 www.varsity.co.uk

Caius JCR in charity funding controversy » Proposals to withdraw funding for religious and political organisations withdrawn after protests Beth Staton News Editor A proposal to cease JCR funding for religious, political and charitable societies has caused uproar amongst Caius students this week.

The terms of a motion, submitted by the Caius Student Union (GCSU) President, would have rendered societies such as Amnesty International and the Christian Union ineligible for funding. After a heated campaign from members of both societies, the proposals have been revoked.

Amnesty fell into the category of societies “which do not directly benefit GCSU’s members”, rendering it beyond the remit of Union funding, according to the motion’s terms.

It was also viewed, by some, as running a political agenda which did not reflect the views of all students.

Religious societies such as the Christian Union (CU) were also excluded on the grounds that they were “not open to all members of the College”. Of the charitable organisations, however, RAG was allowed funding, on the grounds that it allocated its money “on a democratic basis”.

Fierce opposition from societies, however, questioned both the implied responsibilities of JCR funding and the specific classification

of Amnesty as ‘political’. The GCSU have now retracted the proposal and replaced it with a completely revised statement, issuing an apology for the motion which, they admit, was “badly thought through”.

Verity Trynka-Watson, who leads a Christian group at Caius and is also an Amnesty member, said the proposals exposed a “fundamental misunderstanding of neutrality”, although she did regard the intentions of the GCSU as “essentially positive”.

“Union does not mean uniformity, but the acceptance of diversity,” she said.

“Cutting off funding to political, religious and charitable societies suggests that the normative model is anti-political, secularist and non-interventionalist. Neutrality is maintained by considering all groups equally.”

The motion was proposed after students requested funding for charity squashes, leading to a need to clarify the Union’s responsibility for funding societies whose aims lay beyond a direct benefit for Caius students.

Correspondence between Society members and the GCSU is currently ongoing, and a model is being considered which takes into account both the importance of neutrality and the JCR’s role to fund opportunities for all students.

“The motion arose from concerns that students might feel that many

The current Caius JCR team societies were exclusive, or imposed ideas upon the rest of the student population,” said Sophia Parkinson, the GCSU secretary.

“With regard to this, societies with ideological positions represent a more dangerous kind of exclusivity.”

Members of both societies rallied in opposition at an open meeting on Sunday, but the discussions were pulled after concerns of unconstitutionality. The motion, released to the student body just hours before

Cambridge students win MIT genetics competition » Seven students come first of 1700 competitors at iGEM Emma Mustich News Editor Seven students representing Cambridge were awarded the Grand Prize at MIT’s iGEM competition on November 2nd.

The international Genetically Engineered Machine competition (iGEM) was attended by 112 different teams comprising 1700 students in all. Teams came from universities in Europe, Asia, Latin America, Australia, New Zealand, and the US. Competitors in the iGEM

competition are charged with “conceiving, designing and implementing a synthetic biological system using standard, interchangeable DNA parts or ‘BioBricks’ and operating it in living cells.”

The members of the successful Cambridge team were Mike Davies, Shuna Gould, Siming Ma, Vivian Mullin, Megan Stanley, Alan Waldbridge, and Crispian Wilson.

Their advisors were Jim Ajioka, Jim Haselhoff, Gos Micklem, James Brown, Tom Ellis, and Duncan Rowe.

They won not only the Grand Prize, but also came first in the Environment Track.

Cambridge’s iGEM team celebrate victory at MIT

Their project involved the creation of cheap distributable biosensors that could be used to detect heavy metals through visible colour output.

Their findings could potentially be applied, for instance, to help detect quantities of elements like arsenic in third-world water supplies.

The team has been featured prominently in the American news media since their win on November 2nd. Vivian Mullin was interviewed live on National Public Radio (NPR) last Friday, and the entire team was asked to take part in two photo shoots for an upcoming feature in The New York Times Magazine. iGEM started out as a month-long course module for MIT students in January 2003. Over the past several years it has become more and more prestigious. Now internationally recognised, the competition requires students to use a set of “biological parts”, given to them at the beginning of the summer vacation, and combine them with items of their own design to “build biological systems and operate them in living cells.”

A team from Imperial College London finished in the top six, winning awards for both Best Manufacturing Project and Best Human Practices Advance. Bristol’s team won the prize for Best Model.

the meeting, would only be voted on by the JCR executive committee of 16 elected representatives, and was proposed by only one member, President James Polyblank.

The debate has revealed a profound difficulty in defining the roles of JCR funding, and the definition of a ‘political identity’ for societies. Although it is common for party-political groups to be excluded from Student Union funding, only four other Colleges extend the political classification to groups like Amnesty.

Representatives from Caius Amnesty stressed the inclusive and participatory nature of the organisation, and the fact that “human rights affect us all”.

“Caius Amnesty welcomes the GCSU’s efforts to achieve greater clarity with regard to the funding of societies” said society member Emma Johnston.

“Yet we must emphasise that Amnesty International is an apolitical, impartial organisation, independent of any government, political ideology or religious creed.

Caius Amnesty is thus open to all members of the College, regardless of their political affiliation.”

Society representatives are currently in correspondence with Union representatives, and a reworking of the proposal is being put forward.

“We want to base funding on requests, but also allow students to be able to question funding decisions should they feel that funding is imposing certain views on students, or misrepresenting the College,” said Parkinson.

“Societies form because enough people are enthusiastic about their specialist interest to want to meet together,” Trynka-Watson added.

“This is equally true of all groups within College, and to see the political, religious, and charitable societies cut out would be a sad loss of many organisations which greatly enrich the lives of students.”

UL seeks major benefactor Continued from page 1.

She said, “Stunts like this just end up eroding the credibility of esteemed institutions. Cambridge is an academic institution and shouldn’t be selling itself for commercial gain.”

A second-year Economist was less concerned, “Surely the University can stipulate restraints on the influence sponsors have in the running of the UL. It’s important that the UL receives all of the money it needs in order to continue providing a top-class service to all students and academics.”

In a statement on its website, it said, “Oxford has its Bodleian, Harvard has its Widener, Yale has its Beinecke, Manchester its Rylands. In Cambridge, the University Library is one of few such institutions of equivalent stature in the Western world that remains unnamed.

“This represents a unique opportunity to recognise an exceptional and transformative benefaction in perpetuity. It is also an extraordinarily timely opportunity. In 2009 Cambridge celebrates 800 years of the quest for understanding our world and ourselves, through scholarship.

“Its University Library has, for centuries now, been at the heart of this quest – and it remains so today.

Astonishing in the scope, significance and sheer scale of its collections, the University Library is the nervecentre of learning and information at Cambridge, and alive to the needs of

the future.”

A spokesman for the University said, “Any proposal for a major benefaction, including the recognition of a major donor through the renaming of the Library, would be subject to the normal stringent University approval processes.

“At this point in time, the University is not in discussion with any potential donors regarding a benefaction that would lead to a proposal for renaming the Cambridge University Library.”

Classics professor Mary Beard commented on her blog, ‘“The Tesco Library’ doesn’t exactly trip off my tongue very easily. ... [But] I’m sure I could get used to it – if it came with a few million pounds to keep the library as great it has always been.”

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News

Friday November 13th 2009

News Editors: Avantika Chilkoti, Emma Mustich and Beth Staton

www.varsity.co.uk

news@varsity.co.uk

Student concern over Mandelson’s fees review » NUS criticise party response to the tuition fees question Jamie Pollock Reporter The row over tuition fees was reignited this week, when Business Secretary Lord Mandelson announced the set-up of an independent tuition fee review to assess the “balance of contributions to universities by taxpayers, students, graduates and employers”.

The long-awaited review, intended to assess the “balance of contributions to universities by taxpayers, students, graduates and employers”, was originally arranged to win over Labour backbenchers in 2004.

Former education secretary, Charles Clarke, guaranteed a future assessment of the policy in response to a concern that tuition fees would deter students from poorer backgrounds from applying to university.

Despite these worries the number of students applying to university has increased. This year, those denied a place at university rose by

30,000 to 141,118.

The announcement of the review panel was met with disapproval from student union leaders. They view the assessment, which won’t be completed until after the next general election, as an opportunity for Labour and Conservative MPs to postpone commitment to a policy on tuition fees.

Writing in a letter published in The Guardian, The National Union of Students (NUS) said it was “appalled by Labour and Conservative attempts to duck difficult questions on student fees and finance at the next general election.”

Dom Weldon, Chair of Cambridge Student Liberal Democrats, joined in the attack. “Whilst Labour and the Tories try to increase tuition fees and student debt, the Lib Dems are the only party standing up for students,” he said. Weldon has reasserted the “party’s commitment to scrapping fees”, claiming that the Liberal Democrats offered a “natural home for students”.

The Liberal Democrats may be buoyed by the NUS letter, of which

A year of controversy

Business Secretary Lord Mandelson reviews the situation CUSU President Tom Chigbo is a signatory. Aside from merely criticising the policy, it threatened to mobilise the power of the student vote in university towns and cities.

“In 2005, the student vote made a significant difference in towns and cities across the UK,” it said. “Our message is clear: candidates must vote with us, or students won’t vote for them.”

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That the Liberal Democrats might provide an electoral option for frustrated students has been undermined by uncertainty toward its policy of scrapping tuition fees, voiced at their September party conference.

Pointing to Nick Clegg’s “repeated indications” that the Lib Dems should drop their opposition to fees, the Cambridge University Labour Club has maintained that “no party has a monopoly of virtue on the issue.” George Owers, CULC chair, has said he is “absolutely against any lifting of the cap on fees”, and asserted the belief that “the current status quo is wrong”.

The NUS letter also expressed great concern regarding the composition of the review panel, which is to consist of four leading business consultants, the vice-chancellors of both Birmingham and Aston universities and Rajay Naik, former chairman of the British Youth Council.

Commenting Naik’s inclusion, the NUS President Wes Streeting was “pleased that the Government has listened to our calls for a student voice to be included on this panel”.

There is concern, however, over the independence of the review team.

“We are in no doubt that a review panel dominated by business and university leaders is designed to stitch up students with yet another inflation busting hike in tuition fees,” Streeting said.

The appointment of Lord Browne, Cambridge alumnus and former Chief Executive of BP, to head of the review, has provoked a mixed reaction.

Lord Broers, the University of Cambridge’s Vice-Chancellor between 1996 and 2003, praised the decision on the basis that Browne, known to be one of Tony Blair’s favourite industry representatives, would bring “formidable intellectual rigour” to the review.

Student leaders, however, may doubt the capacity of a businessman, whose Desert Island Discs luxury was a lifetime’s supply of “great cigars”, in leading an independent inquiry into the funding of higher education.

In talking of how students become “choosier and more demanding consumers” as they pay more for higher education, Lord Mandelson has framed an ongoing debate surrounding the shaping of a market in higher education. Talk of a higher ceiling on the maximum tuition fee has worried

This week’s investigation is just one of a mass of divisive reports examining the problem of tuition fees in the UK. At the end of September the CBI Taskforce, a lobbying organisation for business, recommended the fee cap be increased to £5000 by 2012, a suggestion greeted enthusiastically by HE representatives.

The report stressed that businesses should provide more sponsorship and internship opportunities in a bid to increase the number and vocational quality of graduates, particularly in science and technology.

Other recommendations include removing the current interest rate subsidy to provide student loans at their cost of borrowing, and lowering the income threshold for maintenance grants. Although claiming that such measures would not reduce demand, the report said that the Government should postpone its 50% HE participation target, instead focussing on performance at school level.

The report was welcomed by HE bodies, including the Russell Group, who described the system of student support in England as “one of the most generous, and expensive, in the world.”

Wendy Piatt, the group’s director, echoed the need for increased funding and the focus on “quality rather than quantity”, but said the group wanted to “be one hundred per cent sure about the impact of any changes” before making their own proposals.

She seconded the report’s claim that 2007’s introduction of variable fees had not affected access because “Educational under-achievement – not finance – is the key reason for a lower proportion of working-class students in higher education”.

those concerned that such a move might stifle the opportunities of applicants from poorer backgrounds.

Andy McGowan, CUSU targets school officer, reiterated the problem of increased top-up fees: “I am very concerned about the impact that higher fees may have on widening participation, in terms of adding to a fear of debt and a market where students choose universities based on how much they cost”.

The selection of two university vice-chancellors to sit on the review panel will do little to comfort concerned students. A survey of vice-chancellors in March of this year revealed that, on average, they would like to see the ceiling on student fees rise to £6,500.

The University of Cambridge confirmed they would not comment on the issue until the review is released.

Students are likely to wait in uncertainty until then.

NewsS5

Friday November 13th 2009

news@varsity.co.uk

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News Feature

Homeless, but not helpless

Homeless in Cambridge paul smith

Richard Rothschild-Pearson VarsiTV Editor

Richard Rothschild-Pearson VarsiTV Editor Big Issue sellers, buskers, and even the odd beggar occupy our streets, appealing to us with the familiar phrase, “Can you spare some change mate?”

Why is Cambridge, a town with such wealth, also the home to so many in such a vulnerable position, and should we spare the change?

It is often – wrongly – believed that the only cause of homeless is addiction problems. Whilst drug and alcohol abuse is a major issue, mental health problems or simply losing a job and financial stability are also contributing factors. The challenge of those groups who wish to re-establish people into permanent accommodation is to find a way to restore the factors required in running a normal life.

Jimmy’s Night Shelter told us about one guest they called ‘Nick’ who had become homeless due to addiction problems with heroin and alcohol. Nick was in and out of

24

Average number of guests, per night, at Jimmy’s Night Shelter in 2007-8

£1,190

Cost, per day, of running Jimmy’s Night Shelter

13%

Percentage of guests at Jimmy’s in 2007-8 aged between 20 and 25

483

Number of people ‘sleeping rough’ in England in June 2008, according to the Department for Communities and Local Government

0

Number of people ‘sleeping rough’ in Cambridge, according to the same report (a search three weeks later placed Cambridge third, after Westminster and the City of London, for the number of people sleeping rough)

CUSU’s Streetbite On a drizzly Friday evening, I set off to Trinity Hall for my initiation into Streebite: a student-run organisation designed to offer people on the street a bite to eat.

Our first stop was the kitchen, where we boiled water and picked up soup sachets. Armed with the necessary supplies, I took to the streets with a more experienced volunteer, whom I’ll call Ryan. Leaving behind the cocoon of the College’s sumptuous courts, we approached the people who inhabit an almost parallel world in Cambridge. In a city where your eyes seem helplessly drawn to the students that rush to and fro in their black gowns, we focused our gaze on the map assigned to volunteers, which designates popular spots for Big Issue vendors.

The first one we encountered was over the moon to see Ryan and told him there were not enough people like him out there. He laughed off our advice to hold his cup more carefully, lest he be scalded by the coffee, joking that: “my fingers are too frozen to feel anything

sheltered accommodation over several years while Jimmy’s tried to improve his health. After building up a better condition of life Nick was able to agree that he wanted to get his life back on track. Six years later, he is in permanent accommodation, has a family and volunteers at the Shelter.

What seems important in rehabilitation, in addition to help from groups such as Jimmy’s, is a degree of personal motivation to stop living on the streets. At a certain point it is up to the person to improve their own life, and it must be said that some do not choose this path and remain in the cycle of homelessness.

Homelessness in Cambridge is not going to go away. If we want to help those in need, it will entail more than simply sparing some change here and there.We must commit to devoting our time and our support to addressing the standard of conditions for those who have to live life rough.

Concerned about homelessness? VarsiTV will be uploading its homelessness investigation next week on www.varsitv.co.uk.

anyway!” Outside Sainsbury’s, the steam from our flannels attracted eight more people who came to us for food and beverages (and sleeping bags, should they be sleeping rough unexpectedly).

Streetbite is a very simple procedure, which simply takes tact. Just be friendly and ask people how their evening is going and they’ll tell you how many Big Issues they’ve sold (generally not enough) and how many sugars they’d like. The only problem was our shortage of supplies: we ran out of food and hot water after just half an hour. The sandwiches were made by Ryan and out of his own pocket. Unfortunately, Streebite is mostly funded by student donations and sorely lacks contributions as well as volunteers. Its organisers are currently in liaison with other similar charities in Cambridge to raise funds and awareness with the big Streebite Sleep Out on Parker’s Piece this November 28th. The point is not to emulate: it is to emancipate, by dissipating some of the stigmas attached to homelessness, and raising money for more help and better shelters during times of economic hardship. patricia mckee

Anna Fahy reports back from a night on the job at Jimmy’s Night Shelter At first, entering Jimmy’s Night Shelter is like walking into any College Common Room. Comfortable sofas surround an array of large tables, and bowls of biscuits and sweets have been placed randomly around the room.

This comforting and welcoming atmosphere reflects the work that the volunteers at Jimmy’s offer each night to the homeless in Cambridge.

Inspired by Jim, a man who spent the majority of his life living under the M11, the shelter has provided nightly accommodation, food and conversation for local homeless since its opening in November 1995.

Although the shelter has several paid members of staff, it primarily runs with the help of around 200 volunteers, with some travelling from as far away as London and Peterborough in order to contribute.

Volunteers can work either the evening, overnight or breakfast shift, in which they cook and serve food and generally keep the shelter in order.

However, given the isolation of the majority of the shelter’s guests, “the most important thing we offer is a human face”, commented Jane Heaney, the Jimmy’s Co-ordinator of Voluntary Services.

The demand for Jimmy’s services is extremely high, and with 31 beds, the shelter is normally full. Last year alone, 350 of Cambridge’s homeless had to be turned away.

Although many of the shelter’s guests come from the street, Heaney cites the “hidden homeless” (people living on the sofas of friends, in hostels, or in unsuitable housing) as a particularly prevalent issue.

The majority of the guests that Jimmy’s sees have experienced some form of relationship breakdown that

has resulted in their current situation, whether this be with a partner or with family. This expiration of support has no exclusivity; whether they are scientists, business professionals or just out of college, the only thing that the guests of Jimmy’s have in common is the lack of somewhere to live.

The unusually large number of tourists in Cambridge, combined with the city’s position on the train line as the first stop from London, means that it is the destination of choice for a large number of England’s homeless.

Through working with other agencies in Cambridge, such as the Street Outreach team and St John’s Ambulance, guests are given the necessary help to regain the confidence that is so often lost through their circumstances.

The shelter has two ‘move-on houses’, with room for seven people.

Here, guests can stay for up to two years and are taught things such as how to manage their finances. Currently, four of the seven inhabitants are back to working full time.

The opportunities Jimmy’s provides the homeless are invaluable; volunteers and staff work to ensure that their guests can move on to function successfully in society.

However, despite this, there are still those who the shelter cannot help. One volunteer, Ted Welsh, remarked on the sadness he felt on occasionally seeing former guests return to the street.

But the safety, warmth and, most importantly, compassion that Jimmy’s provides has helped literally thousands of homeless people since its opening and, in the last few years, the number of people living on the streets has decreased considerably.

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News Editors: Avantika Chilkoti, Emma Mustich and Beth Staton

6 NNews

Politico

Friday November 13th 2009

News Editors: Avantika Chilkoti, Emma Mustich and Beth Staton

www.varsity.co.uk

news@varsity.co.uk

Varsity Profile: Peter Bennett Jones “Doing something fun, worthwhile, that makes a difference, and getting paid for it” –PBJ personifies the golden generation from 1970s Cambridge

The Wilberforce Society: A student think-tank The Cambridge political scene is one of extremes with the main players caught in a war of attention to score the most publicity. While Cambridge University Labour Club urges you to support the plight of the striking postal workers, Cambridge University Conservative Association revels in champagne quaffing and white tie – associations that their counterparts in Westminster are desperate to move away from. While such brinkmanship works well for the few at the top of the tree, learning their craft for a career of outmaneuvering and backstabbing, what about those who actually want to discuss some policy?

Perhaps us Cambridge students could even offer something new to the political establishment given that we will one day leave the infamous Bubble and be seen, however debatably, as the bright young things who will one day step up to take the country forward.

Daunting, but that’s not to say we can’t make a start whilst we’re still cushioned by the cocoon of the Bubble.

The Wilberforce Society aims to establish itself as an influential political think tank on the national scene. The twist being that it would be the only student run think-tank in the country.

With no agenda to push and no affiliation to any institutions, this novel society simply wishes to convey a range of broadly centrist viewpoints from some sharp and independent young minds.

The eponymous man himself, William Wilberforce, was a Cambridge student and one of the great visionaries of the early 19th century in his successful campaign for the end of British involvement in the slave trade.

On a smaller scale, this think tank wishes to shake up the Cambridge political scene, at least so far as actually discussing some real policy. Founded in February this year, they claim 50 active members and a rising profile. For all interested, their next meeting will be held at 4:30pm on Saturday November 14th in the Andrew Room, Sidney Sussex. oli mcfarlane

The success and variety of Peter Bennett-Jones’ (pictured) television, theatre and film career establishes him as part of the golden generation of creative media talent that came out of Cambridge at the end of the 1970s. As chairman of Tiger Aspect Television, PBJ is responsible for television shows such as The Vicar of Dibley, The Catherine Tate Show, Blackadder and films such as Billy Elliot. And if that doesn’t suffice, this dexterous Cantabrigian is also head of two major talent agencies – PBJ and KBJ management – playing sentry to the likes of Rowan Atkinson and Eddie Izzard. The best way to describe Peter Bennett-Jones’ job is as a facilitator, identifying, nurturing and realising talent.

After bumping into an “old friend” in his first week at Cambridge, the “old friend” being Roger Michell who went on to direct Notting Hill, and being coaxed into auditioning for a play, PBJ quickly discovered an “extraordinary stepping stone” in Cambridge drama, taking advantage of university resources such as the ADC, Footlights and Edinburgh Festival. Through these institutions he gained experience of how to operate theatre production in its various forms as well as learning how to manage the performers and help them to fulfil their greatest potential.

Evidently, both the environment and people at Cambridge provided the springboard to PBJ’s media career.

Then, as now, the Cambridge theatre both attracts and cultivates talent, gathering people together and providing them with the means for making innovative theatre. Jones describes how, within his creatively minded friendship group, infamously nicknamed ‘The Snake Pit’, ideas were sparked by a deadly combination of collaboration and competition.

Clockwise: the cast of The Vicar of Dibley and of Blackadder, Eddie Izzard and PBJ Working and spending time with the likes of Douglas Adams, Nick Hytner, Griff Rhys Jones and Richard Curtis, Jones found friendships and working relationships which have anchored him throughout his 30 year career.

According to PBJ “the concentration of talent and energy” that his generation represented, talents he had

the opportunity to encourage and develop, was the greatest privilege Cambridge offered and he admits to “realising only in retrospect the truly exceptional, rare nature of those talents”.

Jones’ formula for success is “working with gifted and similarly motivated people”. For him, success

is producing something of quality and personal interest and he has resigned himself to the unpredictable nature of his business. “If you can, take a punt when you’re young and the more rewarding and successful your working life is likely to be”. Jones recognises the instability of his work as key to its vitality, providing him with inexhaustible intellectual stimulation which he claims boils down to the “different ways of telling stories”.

As the producer and puppet master, working behind the scenes, PBJ is involved in a number of projects all at the same time – from films, documentaries and sitcoms, to stand up, sketch shows and theatre.

Jones, always the opportunist, describes the threats facing the media from shifts in advertising, as “part of the intellectual challenge” and he pinpoints the sector’s mutability as its most exciting quality and the key to its pervasive influence in modern life.

PBJ’s involvement in Comic Relief also has him “using powers of the medium for something that is demonstrably a good thing”, testifying to the importance and influence of the media in “prompting a generation to think about the world in a wider context and consider their responsibility to others”. Jones’ most recent endeavor, the Open Up campaign, is aimed at political reform.

By refusing to limit his activities to any particular genre and indulging his instinctive drive toward exciting talent and innovation, Jones has been able to successfully reconcile his working ambitions, doing something “fun, worthwhile, that makes a difference and getting paid for it”. rosa sinclair-wilson

Hi! Society: The Draghounds Cambridge University Draghounds - The only student run pack of draghounds left in England If you’ve ever been for a stroll in the Cambridgeshire countryside and witnessed a pair of red-faced students legging it across hedge and ditch to escape a pack of ravenous hounds, then the chances are that you’ve encountered the Cambridge University Draghounds.

For many of us this is the closest we’ll come to experiencing the thrill of a Draghound chase; most of the members actually come from outside of the University. But this is something the Masters of the hounds are aiming to change with the help of some calculated social events, including their annual ball in Lent term.

For those of you uneducated in this rural pursuit, drag-hunting is a horse-back sport which involves using hounds to chase a scent

dragged across the country by a hardy runner. The sport is bloodless and has been heralded as an alternative to fox-hunting. But the Cambridge University Draghounds have no agenda other than the thrill of the chase.

Started in 1855, these days the society meets every Sunday between mid-October and April but there are difficulties – the society does not hire horses so participants must have their own. However, the price for taking part in the hunt and tea afterwards is just £15 for students.

The Masters encourage people to learn to ride at Cambridge. It would be more than possible to become proficient enough to join the Draghounds within three years.

But one could also become involved in the social aspect of the club or

take part in a non-riding capacity, with spectators most welcome. Of course, becoming a runner is also a possibility, though this involves traversing 10 miles of open country at speed. Surprisingly, volunteers are entirely forthcoming. The secret might be the £30 payment for the

day’s work, as well as the assurance on the Draghounds website that “The hounds are not out to kill you!” matthew symington

To find out more about the Cambridge University Draghounds have a look on their website at www.srcf.ucam.org/cudh/

News Editors: Avantika Chilkoti, Emma Mustich and Beth Staton news@varsity.co.uk

King’s

Students are sure to have noticed the banner (pictured below) dominating the facade of King’s College since Wednesday.

The banner features illustrations by Quentin Blake which make up part of the tapestry Blake recently presented to nearby Addenbrooke’s hospital, depicting key faces from the University’s impressive list of alumni. Part of the 800th year anniversary celebrations, the hanging will remain in place until January.

Blake, who attended Downing College, did the pen and ink watercolours as a personal token of thanks to the University. A favourite among these illustrations is included in the banner – ironically, the portrayal of an unimpressed Henry VIII listening to King’s College choir.

The College was approached by the committee for the 800th anniversary as they will host the finale to the celebrations.

University College London The Investment Committee of UCL has announced that it will divest its remaining £440,000 of shares in arms company Cobham plc after pressure from the student campaign group DisarmUCL. DisarmUCL was founded in 2006 and in 2007 the group wrote an ethical investment proposal which led to the establishment of the Ethical Investment Review Committee. The Campaign Against Arms Trade told the London Student that it was “wholly inappropriate for an institution run for the public good to have any links to this deadly business” and it was “thrilled” with the news.

Oxford University Student Demetrios Samouris has been fined £80 for dropping an extinguished matchstick on the streets of Oxford. He was spotted by a council environmental enforcement warden during a zero tolerance litter patrol. The fine and the patrol are a result of the city council’s “Cleaner Greener Oxford” initiative. Nonetheless, Samouris described the fine as harsh.

However, Natalie Hughes, the council’s environmental enforcement officer, told the Telegraph: “We need to change attitudes... They just don’t think what they are doing is wrong. That is exactly what we are trying to address”. City council chief executive Peter Sloman added that this campaign is not a one-off.

NewsS7

Friday November 13th 2009 www.varsity.co.uk

College Watch

Gonville and Caius

Cambridge Spies Murray Edwards This Wednesday, a group of 25 Year Six students from Old Ford Primary School in Tower Hamlets were given a flavour of Cambridge University through a trip to Murray Edwards College.

The visit was organised by IntoUniversity which looks to help the pupils of schools in deprived areas of London. After days spent exploring London, the Tower of London and the East End area, the children were encouraged to consider their future plans. Their day at Murray Edwards was an extension of this, – a close to the week’s course. The children spent the day completing a quiz which led them around the College’s premises and after making presentations on their week and enjoying a College lunch, they were presented certificates for the week’s course by the college’s Admissions Tutor clad in her College gown.

On Wednesday evening a building of Gonville and Caius college, which is currently under renovation, was hit by a reversing lorry.

Significant damage was caused with part of the brickwork falling out of place. The impact occured on an overhanging part of the building on the corner of Trinity Street. “A truck reversed around the corner, there was a loud bang, and large rocks fell from the new part of the building” said Simon Glasson, an eyewitness from Caius. “Someone could have been standing underneath. I was terrified.”

University Watch University of Vienna The biggest student protests for decades are underway across Europe (below). They began three weeks ago in Vienna after the Austrian Minister for Knowledge and Research told universities to make savings because there has been too large an increase in the number of students at Austrian universities. Students at the University of Vienna occupied a lecture hall in protest against the ‘marketisation of education’. Students prepared a list of demands, putting on a programme of talks and performances and maintaining a huge web presence through blogging and Twitter. The movement known as ‘Unibrennt’ (the university is burning) is now spreading, with occupations at thirty-four universities across Austria, Germany, Switzerland, the Netherlands and Poland to date. HANNA WEIBYE

Love Lockdown

The post-swap love-making of one mysterious cat was brought to a humiliating end last week.

In postcoital attire consisting of only a scanty t-shirt, our hero located the lavatory in the wellrenowned College of threes.

Only on turning back did he fi nd those tricky double-doors locked hard, less welcoming than his lady friend had been just minutes before. Forced into a trip to the Plodge, the kind Porters overlooked the barefaced cheek of our Casanova and lent him a coat, saving this licentious lothario from the wintry morning. In four years time, would you trust this man as your Doctor?

Choking the Chicken

University of St Andrews Last Friday, Alex Wilson, a first year student studying French and Spanish at the University of St Andrews, died after falling off a 60 foot cliff. The student is understood to be the fifth person to die at this spot in recent years. Wilson and a friend were taking a shortcut to a bonfire party on Castle Sands beach. His body was found washed up on the shore near the St Andrews Sea Life Centre shortly after. In public announcements, the university described Wilson as a bright and popular student, much loved by his family and friends. The Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents (ROSPA) has advocated the need for measures to raise awareness of the cliffs in the area among the university’s students.

Southampton Solent University Southampton-born Radio 1 DJ, Scott Mills, lined up alongside graduating students in Southampton Guildhall last week to receive his honorary Doctor of Arts. Having left school aged 16 with only a handful of GCSEs to become the youngest ever commercial radio presenter, the university presented him with the degree for his services to broadcasting. By picking up the honorary degree from Southampton Solent, Mills is following in the footsteps of Craig David, Shane Warne, Fiona Phillips and Charlie Dimmock. JOSIE FILMER

One elegant lass, perhaps less fresh than is to be expected, took our most revered curry house by storm. Mid-swap, she made her introductions to the chap on the right with a most unusual opening. Under the wraps of the curry-stained tablecloth, she proceeded to spank his monkey, to hold his sausage hostage, to tickle his pickle, to apply the breaks – euphemize as you wish.

Mid-tease, however, her insides gave way and our leading lady spewed both down herself and her victim before being escorted back to her domicile where the technicoloured yawns continued. Superb.

Service with more than just a smile An undisputable perk of working in a college Buttery is the possibility of a spot of flirtation. Every year, one lady treats her favourites to lingering winks and discounted meals. Following a series of suggestive texts this Venus took the next step, placing her hands down one young Adonis’s shirt while serving a smoked salmon starter. Spurred on by this advance, Adonis responded with a cheeky buttock squeeze as the roast lamb was dished out, only to turn and fi nd not the cheeky visage of his beloved but the bemused face of the Catering Manager.

8 News

Friday November 13th 2009

Alan Turing Campaign receives CUSU support Jessica King Reporter

A Cambridge campaign for a commemorative bust to Alan Turing in gaining momentum this term.

So far, at least 117 students and staff have pledged at least £5 toward the bust, and CUSU have publicly backed the campaign. At present the only memorials to Turing in Cambridge are a black and white photograph in the King’s basement and a computer room.

Turing’s work in computer science played an instrumental role in both modern theory of communication and achieving the outcome of World War II. Following arrest and persecution for homosexuality, however, he took his own life on the June 7th 1954.

The campaign was inspired by a national petition in September, which resulted in a public apology from Gordon Brown. Cambridge campaigners have determined to get 150 students and alumni to pledge before the end of Michaelmas.

Dan Summerbell, a campaign organiser, said the University’s 800th anniversary was an ideal time for the campaign to take place.

“We’re campaigning for the University to match the amount raised by staff and students, which will mean that students’ donations will effectively count for double,” he said.

During World War II Turing

News Editors: Avantika Chilkoti, Emma Mustich and Beth Staton

www.varsity.co.uk

played an active role decoding the Enigma cipher machine, a cornerstone of German communications.

The ‘Turing Machine’, developed at Cambridge, forms the basis of much of the modern theory of computation, and Turing’s work at Manchester University from 1951 was pivotal in the development of artificial intelligence.

In 1999, Time Magazine named Turing as one of the 100 Most Important People of the 20th Century for his role in the creation of the computer.

Turing was convicted of the then criminal offence of homosexuality, or ‘gross indecency’, in 1952, which resulted in his chemical castration and the cessation of his work in Cryptography. Two years later he took his own life through cyanide poisoning.

Summerbell was keen to stress that the campaign was not accusatory towards the University. “There are a number of reasons why Turing hasn’t been officially recognised yet,” he said. “The circumstances surrounding his death are only part of that, although the campaign is closely associated with LGBT. “Much of Turing’s work was highly classified wartime intelligence, and the significance of a great deal hasn’t been recognised until recently, because of modern computing developments.”

To get involved in the campaign by making a donation, students can visit www.pledgebank.com/alanturingbust

news@varsity.co.uk

Furore over Old Combination Room lift Matthew Symington Senior Reporter

Several Fellows protested this week after plans to install a new lift in “one of the most beautiful” rooms in the University were revealed.

A pit has already been dug for the lift, which will help handicapped people to access the Combination Room on the Old Schools site. The building came into use in 1400 and was licensed by Pope Boniface IX. However, work began without consultation of Regent House – the governing body of the University on which College Fellows sit.

University officials claimed that the “unobtrusive and sympathetic” alterations were “relatively minor” and as such it was “considered unnecessary” to consult the Regent House.

Speaking to Varsity, Professor Gillian Evans, who has championed the protest, asked, “How can it be ‘sympathetic’ to ruin a room dating from 1400 quite unnecessarily?”

Responding to criticisms of the

proposals, a University spokesperson said that the plans had been formulated using architects with “experience and skill in conservation and listed buildings” and that the floor affected by the lift only dated back to the 1930s. He added, “Under the Disability Discrimination Act the University is legally bound to provide access for the disabled to its buildings.”

Yet this hasn’t convinced the University’s academics who, at a discussion at the Senate House on Tuesday, voiced their opposition to the lift. At the meeting, Professor Anthony Edwards of Gonville and Caius College claimed, “I have seen the plans, and nothing will persuade me that this lift would not in its effect be a substantial alteration to the most precious room in the University.

“There is already a lift in the Old Schools. Is that not sufficient disabled access to the first floor? The fact that it starts a few steps above ground level would need to be rectified, but there is plenty of room for a ramp in the car park.”

Much of the offence over the issue has been taken due to the fact that the

“don’s parliament” was not consulted on the matter. Earlier in the week, Professor Evans said, “They started drilling a large pit in a 14th century room without consulting Regent House, because they kind of forgot to do that.

Professor Gillian Evans

“Regent House could call for the work to stop. Cambridge has a governing body of 4,000 academics and they can stop anything like this.

Regent House has slumbered for years, but every so often it opens an eye and wakes up.”

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An Alan Turing memorial in Sackville Park

Comment 9

Friday November 13th 2009

Comment Editor: Dan Hitchens comment@varsity.co.uk

www.varsity.co.uk

the essay:

Getting Along Fine

T

he fundamentals of human life do not change very much. Shakespeare’s seven stages of man from As You Like It (‘first the infant, mewling and puking…’) still characterise our progress from cradle to grave. The dilemmas that faced Antigone and Agammemnon might face any of us today. Fortunately we each of us possess some resources that enable us to cope with life: principally the resources cemented into our language over time. If we know the words someone has been using about us, we can tell whether it was criticism or praise easily enough: if I hear I was called mean, pedantic, cowardly, irresolute, greedy, selfish, or a thousand other things I can infer hostility or contempt; if I was called instead generous, kind, resolute, courageous, just, and far-sighted, then I can permit myself a smile of contentment.

David Hume, the greatest moral philosopher Great Britain has ever produced, asked himself how traits get onto these lists of vices or virtues. He decided that a person’s virtues are “qualities of mind useful or agreeable to himself or others”, while vices are the reverse. He believed that all we had to do was to adopt a “common point of view” with those in the circle of people affected by an individual’s nature, to see whether the person was admirable and commendable, or regrettable and avoidable. When it comes to life, we know the kinds of people by whom we hope to be surrounded.

So far so good, but surely times change and don’t we change in them? Certainly the moral climate, or perhaps micro-climate, changes, and of course varies from place to place. My wife and I recently discovered that a teenager is far more likely to offer up a seat on a bus to an older passenger in Tunisia than in the United Kingdom. But you are doubtless more likely to offend someone by dressing outlandishly in many parts of the world than you are in London.

Overrated

Week 6: John Stuart Mill

I

s it John Stuart Mill’s fault that he is overrated? Not necessarily. This great liberal did say, after all, that a once-vibrant system of thought can eventually become a hollowed-out set of

New times demand new habits of thinking about ethics, says SIMON BLACKBURN. And philosophers, biologists and economists have started to agree on one thing: co-operation should be at the heart of human relations Michael Lovett

We might wish to import Tunisian politeness and export London’s tolerance, and perhaps there are places that are civilized enough to have the best of both worlds. Civility and tolerance would each be on Hume’s list.

Again, it is often feared that we currently live in a climate where people are quick to detect rights, but much slower to detect correlative duties, or quick to regard themselves as victims, but slow to take responsibility. If we decide that this is so, then we might want to change the ethical climate. It is a slow process, not usually achieved by exhortation or sermonizing, but by the slow and patient business of showing people, from early on in life, a better way. Aristotle was the first to insist that we become virtuous by practising virtue.

I have said nothing about

religion. Some people think that religious belief is a necessary underpinning of good behaviour.

I do not. Religious teachers may praise the kinds of virtue already mentioned, just as secular teachers do. But they are also likely to insert evil with the good: the belief that their particular sect is the best, and that the others are godforsaken and inferior. Religions unite their followers with what Hume called “frivolous observances” which are team badges that all too often take on more importance than civility or even humanity.

We can all see for ourselves that kindness, for instance, is a virtue, but it takes a special revelation to learn that the infallible way to commend yourself to the infinite, unchanging, all-knowing, self-caused, necessary being that

governs the universe is to have a little bit of skin cut off here or there. The current fashion for ‘faith schools’ is perhaps an understandable reaction to the generally feeble state of education in this country, but in itself can be nothing but a recipe for division and discord in society. ‘Interfaith dialogue’ is sometimes touted as a remedy, but it is a pity first to create the fracture and then to try to put a splint on it. The lowest denominator common to all religions is going to be the kinds of virtue that Hume indicated, so much better not to add the team badges in the first place.

If it is suggested that people who live in fear of God are likely to behave better, then the reply is first that this depends on what qualities they have invested their God with, and secondly that it is a pity if, for instance, they can

prejudices: ‘dead dogma’.

Almost all well-educated people, Mill argued, hold their opinions in ignorance. They have not troubled to think through the arguments for their views; and “they have never thrown themselves into the mental position of those who think differently from them, and considered what such persons may have to say”. Mill thought that in his time this was largely true of Christianity; in our time, it is largely true of liberalism.

A liberal who did want to investigate the roots of his beliefs might turn to Mill’s hugely influential essay On Liberty, whose 150th anniversary it is this year. The tributes have been generous.

Someone claimed in The Guardian that “The principles of On Liberty can bring us together on the basis

of our common humanity”. Someone else said in the Independent that “Mill’s words should be our words”.

We should certainly admire Mill, not least for his intellectual courage and the clarity of his writing.

But On Liberty itself needs to be challenged. Here is the core of its argument: “The only purpose for which power can be rightfully exercised over any member of a civilised community, against his will, is to prevent harm to others.”

You have probably heard that quoted, usually with the implication that it is impossible to dispute.

But it is difficult to say what “harm to others” might be.

The porn-user, irritated by his conscience, might well tell himself that what he is doing doesn’t harm anyone else. But as feminists point out, he goes back

into his community with a much less healthy attitude to others, especially to women. That is harm, is it not? Drug-taking has similar consequences: there is manifestly a difference between a city where 5% of the population take drugs and one where the figure is 25%.

In fact, everything we do affects our society; and it is hard to use Mill’s principle unless you think – to borrow the words of another overrated individual – that there is no such thing as society. Mill’s Victorian opponents noticed that point; so have some modern leftwingers, such as John Gray, who, despite being the author of Mill on Liberty: A Defence, admitted that On Liberty’s central thesis is ‘a ruinous failure’.

Mill emphasised freedom of choice above all, as a means to

only behave generously or justly out of personal fear. It would be better if they behaved generously because others need their generosity, and justly because they value justice.

Recent philosophy of ethics has devoted a good deal of attention to the emergence of co-operation in human societies. This is a particularly timely topic when nations may have to learn to co-operate over such matters as scarce resources, degradation of the environment, and climate change. Biologists and economists used to be the real pessimists here, supposing that since we have all had to survive in a Darwinian struggle for existence, we must all be selfish and grasping at heart. And then there is an excellent argument appealing to our own self-interest: if others restrain their energy consumption, well, it is better for me to use what I want, while if others do not I would be a patsy to be the only one doing so. If everyone argues like that, no co-operative solution can emerge.

Fortunately even biologists and economists have realized that since co-operation can emerge, there cannot be a Darwinian theorem saying that it is impossible for it to do so. And since we are needy animals, dependent on the co-operation of others for virtually everything in life, that is just as well. But whether our social natures will carry us into the unimaginably large-scale co-operations that will be needed to make a difference to the rate at which we seem to be depleting the environment on which we depend, remains to be seen.

Simon Blackburn is the Professor of Philosophy at Cambridge, where he was a student more years ago than he can remember. His career circulated via Oxford and the United States back to Cambridge, and he is the author of a whole lot of books. More detail can be found at www.phil.cam.ac.uk/~swb24/ human flourishing. But we do not really experience life as a series of choices. We were never given a choice about which society to grow up in, which family to be born into, which political system to be a part of; and we have very little choice about the nature of the institutions (the University of Cambridge, for instance) to which we belong.

Freedom of choice does not amount to much without the inner freedom of being reconciled to these unchosen accidents; and we cannot flourish without drawing on our culture’s vast resources, its customs, institutions and collective knowledge. These are the deepest and hardest questions in politics; anyone who wants to pretend that political aims are easily defined will find in On Liberty a comforting voice. dan hitchens

10 Comment

and Editorial

Friday November 13th 2009

Ali Khan

The University Library is, despite the air of stress that infuses it, a timeless haven of education and procrastination. It is a darkening maze of corridors, musty stacks and elusive classmarks. As you approach it, there is a certain comfort to be found in the sight of that phallic block of brick, and when you are enclosed within its wings, whether north or south, there is a sense that nothing external can harm you. You may even begin to love the overpriced and ugly tearoom, the refuge of the sociable slacker. But can you ever imagine asking a mate if they fancy a four pm rendezvous in the Deloitte or Tesco tearoom? No, didn’t think so.

It’s a sad day when you realise that absolutely everything in this world revolves around money. You can read all the poetry you like, but it won’t ensure you can repay your student loan in ten years time. Sure, other universities have named their libraries for money. But we all know that just because Oxford does something is no reason we should follow suit. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could remain the exception? Wouldn’t it be nice if the UL didn’t have to be tainted by corporate devils? Then again, perhaps this is only naive sentimentality. Perhaps the UL is not the eternal sanctuary of learning immune to material pressures we all thought it was, after all.

Who is the Greatest?

It seemed like a very simple idea last week, but providing a short list of the ten greatest Cantabrigians from which readers can vote has proved to be a contentious task. Our ill-informed office debates over such subjects as “How many Irish people did Cromwell really kill”, “Did Wordsworth write Kubla Khan?”, “Who is Robert Walpole?” and “Is Nick Drake better than Charles Stewart Parnell” had to eventually tackle a pretty considerable question: what is greatness?

Initially we decided that greatness could only be conferred posthumously, but then we wondered whether that wasn’t a little too conservative. Also, achievements in different fields proved difficult to compare. The comedic genius of Peter Cook looked rather feeble when stood alongside the statesmanship of Nehru or the philosophy of Russell, but then again he did invent modern British satire as we know it. We resolved that defining greatness was a question for minds far greater than our own, so now it’s over to you. Vote at www.varsity.co.uk.

Letters to the Editor

A

pparently Federico Garcia Lorca’s The House of Bernardo Alba is a “blistering critique of the Franco dictatorship” (Review, November 6th). I was aware that Lorca moved in the Spanish avant-garde milieu

but not to the extent that his powers of creativity bestowed upon him the gift of prophecy. Perhaps your reviewer meant the dictatorship of Primo de Rivera from 1923 until 1930. Sadly Lorca did not live to see much of Franco’s brutal period in power, dying as he did in August 1936, and fi nishing the House of Bernada Alba a month

before the start of the Spanish Civil War. Liam McNulty Homerton A choir visiting Israel and the Palestinian territories brings the two closer together. By opposing these kinds of visits, the PSC oppose exactly the things which foster understanding, and understanding fosters peace. We can use cultural and academic co-operation to create the wider co-operation which is a prerequisite for peace, instead of the PSC’s attempt to turn everything into a political stunt which can only end with anger and division.

Joseph Sanderson Jesus My sincere sympathy to Clare

comment@varsity.co.uk

Dictatorship, slavery, and the collusion of Western companies: yes, Burma does still matter

Established in 1947 Issue No 706 Old Examination Hall, Free School Lane, Cambridge, CB2 3RF Telephone: 01223 337575 Fax: 01223 760949

Cash for Honours

Comment Editor: Dan Hitchens

www.varsity.co.uk

I

write this article now rather than earlier for a very simple reason: Burma is again ‘slow news’. It received a publicity blitz with newspapers around the world screaming ‘tragedy’ when it was devastated by Cyclone Nargis.

Now it is back to business as usual for the junta and the media, with snippets of news occasionally being published about Amnesty International or the heroics of aid workers.

A senior American diplomat, Kurt Campbell, recently went on a ‘factfinding’ mission to Burma, officially the Union of Myanmar. He was graciously given permission to go by the ruling junta. (Apparently there are still places in the world where America asks for permission before going.) Campbell has already astutely observed that it will be a “long, slow and painful” process.

In Burmese Days, George Orwell narrates the machinations of U Po Kyin. ‘U’ is short for uncle, an honorific still used in Burma today.

U Po Kyin’s struggle to become a member of the European club while ruining the career of the native Dr Veraswami is reminiscent of what is happening in Burma today.

However, the ‘Europeans’ are now playing a decidedly different role.

Various world leaders have made it a point to talk about freedom, democracy and civil liberties but it seems that some countries are overlooked. The junta has been in power illegally for 18 years and it has not once been mentioned in the ‘axis of evil.’ Perhaps this is because the ‘evil’ is focused inwards on the Burmese people.

The generals held elections in 1990 and lost to the National League of Democracy, which College Choir for coming under a completely ridiculous hail of abuse from radical pro-Palestinians.

If the choir tour had been to Afghanistan for some reason, would anyone have suggested that the College endorsed the Taliban? If they had visited America two years ago, would they have been showing support for the Bush administration? Clearly the fame of Cambridge has led this group to place massive implications on an otherwise normal and beautiful cultural activity.

Elizabeth Kershaw Queens’ I wonder whether Robert Grant is aware of the irony of having his anti-theoretical posturings published in a student paper (Essay, November 6th). His own ‘theory’ of anti-Theory seems to me defeated by its own publication: at least the studentship which he would so vehemently censor (with his thinly-

received 82% of the vote. The army refused to relinquish power and started imprisoning and suppressing dissident voices. Before and after the elections many multinational companies had bases in Burma. A sense of ‘corporate responsibility’ and image only affected some companies as late as 1997. Pepsi, Amoco, Reebok and Levi-Strauss are just a few of the companies that did business with the generals. Pepsi went so far as to say that their work with the State Law and Order Restoration Council (SLORC) was ‘missionary work’.

The Japanese continue to give ‘aid’

to the junta. Countless Chinese companies have investments in Burma. The Chinese government is directly involved in controlling the energy sector, Burmese banks, financial institutions, mining companies and other key areas. Recently there was a Sino-Burmese agreement to build a multi-billion dollar gas and oil pipeline. To see the list of companies operating in Burma, type ‘dirty list Burma’ into Google.

The building of infrastructure projects like dams, railroads and pipelines was well documented by journalists and various human rights organisations. The working conditions were heinous. According to human rights organisations, the number of people used as slave labour per day was as high as 60,000 during the last decade. Old veiled sneering at Paris ’68 and its aftermath) has the generosity to give a place to these ideas, to allow for a multiplicity of voices to be heard, rather than to simply declare them as ‘largely discredited’.

Oliver Southall St. John’s The offensive factual inaccuracies in ‘Choir’s planned tour causing discord’ only serve to reduce the quality of this publication. I do not accept Varsity’s decision to act as a mouthpiece for the PSC. Was this a comment piece masquerading as a report, revealing Varsity’s political alliances? Or was this just symptomatic of rushed student journalism?

Either way, the pro-active interfaith work of the Clare College Choir Tour was unreasonably diminished. I commend their project and wish them luck in their efforts to build bridges, not boycotts.

Jake Witzenfeld President, CU Israel Society

men and women, children and even pregnant women were forced to work on the government projects.

Later it was discovered that Total, a part-government owned French oil company, was investing $1 billion in a pipeline to carry natural gas from Burma to Thailand. During Bill Clinton’s presidency Stanley Roth, aide to Senator Stephen Solarz, was sent as a goodwill envoy to Burma.

Roth was a supporter of the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia. During this time, despite the US imposed sanctions on Burma, UNOCAL was allowed to go ahead with its project with Total.

Granting a Nobel Prize to Aung San Suu Kyi was the most anyone was willing to do for Burma. Unfortunately, it is not longer clear what the Nobel Peace Prize stands for, having been awarded to a man who is at war in two countries and is fighting proxy wars all over the world. Lonely Planet encourages people to go to Burma as tourists, despite Aung San Suu Kyi’s calls for boycotting all commercial activities with Burma. Obviously, cutting all ties would merely isolate the generals even more. Perhaps the first step would be for China and India, both of whom have enough political and economic clout, to pressurize the generals to open up the Burmese political system but maybe it is not only the generals who want to prevent outside interference in Burma.

Burma is a hauntingly beautiful country with its teak and mahogany forests and glittering pagodas; but its people are ignored and continue to suffer silently. Rangoon, which ironically means ‘end of strife’, will be free only in the dreams of the Burmese people and Burma will once again be lost in the haze of our memories: forgotten, as it has been for over forty years.

Corrections and Clarifications In our article ‘Choir’s planned tour causing discord’ (issue 705) we wrote that during the 2008 Israel Palestine conflict “1,400 Palestinian people were massacred”.

We would like to clarify that this number includes Hamas militants.

In addition, we wrongly wrote that since the Six Day War, Israel “has continued a policy of military occupation in [Gaza].” Israel unilaterally disengaged from the Gaza Strip in 2005.

Email letters@varsity.co.uk by Wednesday lunchtime for the chance to win a bottle from the Cambridge Wine Merchants. Letters may be edited.

Comment Editor: Dan Hitchens

Comment 11

Friday November 13th 2009

comment@varsity.co.uk

www.varsity.co.uk

Not-Sci

Why your granny wants to murder you

S

We need education for its own sake, Lord Mandelson, or there will be no innovation at all Charlie Bell

J

ust over a week ago, the Government published its Higher Education Framework, the latest report from the newly created Department for Business, Innovation and Skills (BIS). The framework, spearheaded by Lord Mandelson, was entitled ‘Higher Ambitions’, ironically so since his ambitions for the UK’s education system are pretty low.

The report’s key buzzword, splashed across every section, seems to be ‘employability’. Universities are seen as fundamental to our ‘knowledge economy’; they are the Government’s big opportunity to make money from a system that they support both financially and politically. However, they seem to miss a key part of what has always, and always will, create the world-class education system that we have – and that is education for education’s sake.

The first obvious move in this direction was the removal of universities from the ‘Education’ department, and their placement within the new BIS, with business and skills being the key words.

And this is where the Government seems to see universities, firmly placed as providers for businesses.

Their work in this area can’t be

faulted, they are trying to increase the number of work placements for students, while also building up better links between universities and small businesses, in an economic landscape which is far from rosy. But their intentions seem to be dubious. Although they do, of course, deserve a return for their money in the form of economic growth, this is not the only way a good university system can benefit the nation. An obsession with skills over education is not a path that will lead to an overall better-educated population, and indeed workforce.

“An obsession with skills above education will not lead to a better workforce” The skills vs. education debate has sprung up in recent years, and seems only ever to elicit a black or white response – which fundamentally misses the point. The Government’s stated aim is to equip graduates with the skills they need for life outside of education, be it teamwork, public speaking or social behaviour. Once again, there isn’t a single mention of the fact that life

‘outside’ education is not the only life – in fact, the only reason we have education is that thousands of people work within the sector, not in think-tanks or quangos, but on the cutting edge of research, within both science and the arts.

Without these people, there would be no innovation and no advances in business. But the academic world is scorned, both by the public and by the Government. The Home Secretary’s recent firing of David Nutt, the head of the Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs, demonstrated this point: if research and knowledge really are the top of the Government’s agenda, they could do worse than listening to those who are at the forefront of education.

It is of course arguable that the idea of education for its own sake is a very middle-class, ivory-tower view of the world. The problem is that, at present, the opportunity for anyone on any kind of budget to do further research is limited, even with the bursaries and schemes available. And it is, of course, far harder to do an arts PhD – and perhaps this is because science will always be better funded, as it is considered more valuable to the economy. The great minds of the arts, therefore, are considered expendable. One of the Government’s proposals to widen participation for research is to provide greater funding to those institutions that encourage social

mobility, but this misses the point.

Social mobility begins at the core, at the root of education, and universities have been removed from that Government department. The main reason social mobility is not a reality is not that universities are necessarily elitist; it is because the education system does not prepare the country’s best minds, at a young age, to realise their potential. Punishing excellent research centres for something that is, to a very large extent, out of their control, is an utter outrage.

A major problem with the current system is the number of degrees which themselves do not lead to transferable, employable skills.

The move to create a fifty per cent university attendance rate sounds good in principle, but in practice it fails when not all courses lead to worthwhile skills or education.

University attendance should equip people with a rigorous, academic education, and it is this that the Government should be trying to give to the fifty percent. The skills people need for ‘employability’ should not need to be taught – they should naturally be part of any degree worth its salt. If the Government really wanted to increase the education of people in the UK, and the UK’s academic and business standing in the world, it would give the education that people need, to equip them for work in research, in academia and in the business world.

ince, like so many of my readers, you are highly sexually attractive, would you mind sending me some photos? No, not that sort of thing. I actually meant a map of your genome. ‘I’d like to get into your genes’ is a great line to use on me, by the way, because as a geneticist it really is all I’m interested in. Romance is crushed by the power of the selfish gene.

It’s genes that want candlelit dinners and like that sweater that brings out the colour of your eyes: they want to replicate themselves during sex and can be set free into the world to continue their selfish cycle.

But what about the genetic agenda of your family? According to research published last month by biological anthropology researcher Molly Fox and colleagues at the University of Cambridge, even your grandmother may harbour selfish intentions. Fox suggests that grandmothers are programmed to prefer their sons’ daughters to their sons’ sons. The data, drawn from seven societies around the world from the 17th to the 21st centuries, grimly found “a relationship between X-chromosome inheritance and grandchild mortality in the presence of a grandmother”.

This makes logical selfish-gene sense since her granddaughter’s genes through her son will carry a copy of her X-Chromosome and her grandsons will not. Other studies have found that ‘love’, measured by action taken to ensure offspring survival, is directly correlated to genetic relatedness.

Such an absolute correlation is bleak and cannot apply to gay couples, adoptive parents, step-parents and those who choose not to have children.

Does it only apply to those with children and paternal grandmothers? What would be interesting but slightly controversial is a study on those with both non-biological and biological children. The true influence of genes on relationships is unclear, although they can occasionally explain why your grandmother knits your sister’s fleece first and why the postman has an unusual interest in your schooling. SITA DINANAUTH

Dow Sustainability Innovation Student Challenge:

£6,000 Prize As part of the Dow 2015 sustainability commitment, Dow Chemical, in association with the University of Cambridge Programme for Sustainability Leadership, are giving 3 students the chance of winning £6,000 in recognition of research that contributes to global sustainability. Entries must: 1) Focus on sustainability 2) Be interdisciplinary in their approach 3) Offer a technical or business oriented solution 4) Be Graduate-level ongoing research 5) Demonstrate excellence and innovation Entries are by a max. 500 word description of your research project, including an explanation of how it meets the interdisciplinary and sustainability criteria and why you believe you should win.

50 % OFF! OUR NEW WINTER MENU Bonjour! Your local French favourite, Brasserie Gérard, would like to welcome you in with an incredible offer of 50% off all food to celebrate the launch of our new winter menu.

This offer is valid from 9th - 22nd November 2009.

Download your 50% off voucher at www.brasseriegerard.co.uk

The deadline for entries is Monday 1st February 2010 and should be emailed to Alexandra Brunner at the Cambridge Programme for Sustainability Leadership: Alexandra.brunner@cpsl.cam.ac.uk

Terms and conditions apply.

Entries will be judged by a panel of leading academics from within the University in early February and winners will be contacted directly. Please include your name, contact details, and department. Good luck!

Edit this paper (or sections herein) Applications are invited to edit and section edit Varsity in Lent 2010.

Application forms are available for download from

varsity.co.uk/jobs

The deadline for editorial applications is this Monday – 5pm.

The deadline for section editor applications is Monday Nov 23.

Any student is encouraged to apply. No experience is necessary.

If you have any questions, please email the current editors, Robert Peal or Anna Trench, on editor@varsity.co.uk.

Positions include: News Editor, Comment Editor, Features Editor, Arts Editor, Reviews Editor, Sport Editor, Fashion Editor, Science Correspondent, Theatre Critic, Music Critic, Classical Critic, Film Critic,Visual Arts Critic, Literary Critic, Food Critic, Photographer, Illustrator

Magazine Editor: Laurie Tuffrey magazine@varsity.co.uk

Theatrep20-21 We interview three of the biggest names of British theatre

Vulture 13

Friday November 13th 2009 www.varsity.co.uk

Vulture Arts, Features, Reviews

Reviewsp24 Speech Debelle is theraputic at the Junction

Putting the Boot in

Little Boots has come on a long way since she was posting piano covers on YouTube.

David Pegg hears about life on the road, sci-fi and the difficulty of buying windows.

“W

“It’s a mix of a lot of emotions. Bits that were pressurised, bits when you just want to cry. But I don’t think I’d swap it.” Victoria Hesketh on the mixed blessing of being a pop star.

ith you in a minute.”

As I saunter nervously into her dressing room, Victoria Hesketh, aka Little Boots, is stabbing angrily at her iPhone. I sit awkwardly on an adjoining sofa, wondering how to address her (Vicky? Miss Boots?), as she mutters under her breath, editing away at what sounds like a rather terse e-mail. After a tumbleweed-strewn minute or so, she casts the device aside, in the direction of her Mac. An Apple person, perhaps? “I dunno. It’s quite fun, but it’s a shit phone.

Good at everything but making calls”. Perhaps not.

Midway through her UK tour, and following on from a marathon blitz of 33 summer festivals, Little Boots is at the Junction, and in spite of the fatigue is preparing to battle her way through another gig. “I’m quite tired”, she admits, “but you just get that superhuman strength every night, then crumple again.” Exhaustion disregarded, is it worth it? “I really enjoy performing, and all the creative bits I love, but it’s just all the travelling, and all the bullshitty stuff. There’s a real two halves of it.”

Prior to Victoria’s meteoric ascent to fame, she sang and synthed in the eyeshadow-tastic all-indie girl band Dead Disco.

Their limited but acclaimed repertoire earned them solid reviews, positive word-of-mouth on the scene and a recording contract in LA, but the trio split up after the two other members discovered Victoria’s secret – guerrilla pop, clandestinely written, as a response to label pressure to fit a preferred style. She subsequently returned home to Blackpool,

adopted the stage name Little Boots, and began accumulating YouTube subscribers with bedroom videos of pop piano covers.

After writing her own material, she got in touch with American producer Greg Kurstin, a contact cultivated during her formative indie days. Together they began work on her debut Hands, when, without warning, she was declared the BBC Sound of 2009, and hurled into the spotlight. Under strenuous pressure to fi nish the record in time for a summer release, she began the media rounds, including a memorable appearance on Later... with Jools Holland, during which she wielded three instruments at once. Having undertaken that kind of journey in the space of a year, such a sense of ‘two halves’ must surely be especially pronounced?

“It’s a mix of a lot of emotions.

Bits that were pressurised and full of expectations, bits that were amazing and euphoric, bits when you just wanna cry and quit and run away. It’s a very bumpy ride.”

She shrugs, “But I don’t think I’d swap it.”

As I chat to her, her diminutive frame skulks into the corner of her sofa, generating the distinct appearance of someone who’d defi nitely rather be asleep than suffering through another pre-gig interview. “At the moment I just stay in bed” she replies, when I inquire as to how she spends what little downtime the tour affords her. “I’ve just bought a house though, so I’m spending a lot of time talking to floor people and window people”. (continued overleaf)

14 Features

Features Editor: Zing Tsjeng

Friday November 13th 2009

arts@varsity.co.uk

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paul smith

I try to wince sympathetically, and for the first time, her face lights up. “But I’m so happy doing that! I just want to stay home and bake and paint nowadays.” With glee, she elaborates upon her plans. “I LOVE gardening, but I haven’t really got the gardening situation at the new house sussed yet. I had a huge grapevine and loads of tomato plants before. I reckon I’ll go round next summer and take some cuttings to get them going at the new place. It’s really de-stressful.” Not akin the music then? She disagrees. “Putting a lot into something then seeing the results, reaping the rewards – it’s kind of a similar cycle. I once said making an album’s like growing cabbages”.

Trying to steer the conversation into different waters, I ask her about films. “I watched The Abyss the other night. The submarine film with aliens, remember? It was fucking great. I like fantasy films, Lord Of The Rings.

Casual dress, Little Boots-style.

We’re gonna get the full extended version for the trip to France next week and watch the whole thing. It’s like 12 hours,” she says, with obvious yet perverse relish for someone who admits that she talks all the way through

“I had a great time at uni. I was your absolute cheesy, by-thebook fresher, dressed up as a bunny or a schoolgirl every week” even films of standard length. Her album art, stage design and music videos are laden with symbols, stars, and constellations, and I ask if she’s into sci-fi. “Anything a bit space, anything a bit fantasy,” she nods. My nerd heart skips a joyous beat when she confesses to being a Star Wars fan, although it’s quickly followed up with the inevitable caveat of ‘not a diehard though’.

We move on to television. “We watch Curb Your Enthusiasm all the time on the tour bus. I like Spooks as well. I like anything with spies in. If I wasn’t a musician I might be a spy. A spy gardener”. Armed with or without shears, did she ever apply to MI:5?

“Nah, but I reckon I would’ve done if I’d not done music. It’d be quite fun. I don’t know if I’d be very good in the face of death. But I reckon I’d be quite a good spy. I’m quite small, quite good at hiding. I can disguise

myself as a small child quite easily.”

Victoria attended Leeds University, and came away with a First in Cultural Studies, admitting in shyly hushed tones that she was “a bit of a swot”, but proud that she made the most of the party scene. “I had a great time at uni. I was really cheesy: I think that’s the best way to be. Especially in first year. I was your absolute cheesy, by-the-book fresher.

I was dressed up as a bunny or a schoolgirl every week, and went to all the shit parties.

Loads of my friends were all too cool for school, and I had a fucking wicked time. The uni ski trips were the best memories. They were amazing. The ones where all the unis go to the same place and just trash some poor alpine village? Yeah, ski trips were awesome.

Love that shit”, she murmurs fondly.

So what does the future hold? “We’re touring up to the end of the year, and there’s lots of promotion for the new single. It’s really busy up to Christmas, and then I’ll have a little bit of time off hopefully. First half of next year’s gonna be a US tour”. The thought alone seems to exhaust her. She glances away when I ask about future album plans. “I’m not in any rush. I don’t even feel like doing one at the minute. I need to just clear my head and get away from it.”

Time is up, and I try to round off with a feel-good question. Out of everything, of what is Little Boots most proud? She looks faintly uncertain. “Erm,” she ponders, “I’m pretty proud of my Gold Disc. Maybe that. My house? I feel like I really worked for it. It’s there, and I own it, and that’s amazing.”And with that, she returns to her maligned iPhone to finish thrashing out that e-mail to the lino people.

Victoria Hesketh, aka Little Boots, at the The Junction. Insert joke along the lines of ‘these boots were made for walking’ here.

Baroque and Roll David Allen considers Cambridge’s often over-looked and wilfully old-fashioned Academy of Ancient Music.

C

ovent Garden. The Met. Sydney. Glyndebourne.

The Sidgwick Site? This may come as something of a shock, but one of the world’s most important orchestras resides here in Cambridge. The Academy of Ancient Music was founded here

by Pembroke alumnus Christopher Hogwood in 1973, with the aim of playing baroque and classical music on ‘period’ instruments; that is, on instruments built to a similar specification as the ones Handel and Mozart wrote for.

Violinists play their gut-stringed instruments without vibrato and with differently shaped bows, giving a coarser sound. Wind players play without vibrato, creating a less rounded tone. Timpanists use hard beaters on drums made without modern materials. Horns and trumpets have no valves, making them less flexible and more difficult to control. The conductor is often found not on a rostrum, but directing from a harpsichord, guiding a much smaller orchestra at quicker tempi. The flautist wears a doublet and hose, the harpist a ruff.

The AAM are at the forefront of a revolutionary movement that turned loudly evangelical. Together with Hogwood, they joined The English Concert (directed

by Trevor Pinnock), Roger Norrington’s London Classical Players and John Eliot Gardiner’s

English Baroque Soloists in persistently advocating the adoption of period practice and techniques.

Their success can be measured by the sheer volume of recordings that the four groups have made. The AAM set down innumerable discs for Decca under Hogwood, including the complete symphonies of Mozart and a wildly-praised series of Handel operas and oratorios.

All are worthwhile listening for an alternative take on the stock Classic FM easy-listening canon.

More recently, working with new Music Director Richard Egarr, one of the world’s most accomplished harpsichordists, they have embarked on a project to record all of Handel’s orchestral works on Harmonia Mundi, already garnering several Gramophone Awards and nominations.

Just as important, however, is the influence that period practice has had on more mainstream orchestras.

Largely gone are the days when a Mozart symphony would be played with sixteen first violins. The influence of the seminal Beethoven symphony cycles of Norrington, Hogwood and above all Gardiner, can be heard in many of the last two decades’ other recordings.

Take, for instance, the prominent timpani of Bernard Haitink’s latest series with the London Symphony Orchestra, or the exhilarating brutality of Simon Rattle’s discs with the

Vienna Philharmonic, in which he absolutely forbids the orchestra to play with unnecessary vibrato, emasculating the traditional Vienna sound. A comparison between the Haydn symphonies of Rattle and his forebear at the Berlin Philharmonic, Wilhelm Furtwängler, reveals far lighter textures, and much greater playfulness. Norrington has been accused of over-zealous tinkering with the greats and a defiant disregard for authority. At last year’s Proms, Elgar’s First Symphony was dispatched on a modern orchestra but without vibrato, directly against Elgar’s recorded wishes, vibrato swelling proudly. But by and large, baroque orchestras are now accepted as part of the norm.

The AAM continues its association with Cambridge, as resident orchestra of the university. Its programmes are performed at West Road Concert Hall on the Sidgwick site (not quite the full red-carpet and chandeliers Gaston Le Roux opera experience, but the acoustics are good) before heading to sold-out events at the Wigmore Hall and across Europe. Under Egarr, the music the Academy makes is as joyful as ever before: their latest disc of Handel Trio Sonatas sees players revelling in dance rhythms and dissonance.

Ancient, but modern. Just don’t expect a collaboration with Katherine Jenkins or Paul Potts anytime this century.

The Academy of Ancient Music’s next concert (Saturday 21st November) features soprano Carolyn Sampson for arias by Handel and Purcell. Student tickets are £5 on the door.

Arts Editor: Laura Freeman

Varsity Poll 15

Friday November 13th 2009

arts@varsity.co.uk

www.varsity.co.uk

Lord Byron

John Maynard Keynes

John Milton

Poet, revolutionary, massive dandy

Economist, socialite, Cambridge die-hard

Poet, Protestant, mouthpiece of God

Politician, freedom fighter, revolutionary

1788-1824 Trinity College

1883-1946 King’s College

1608-1674 Christ’s College

1889-1964 Trinity College

Pros: the great romantic Cons: had sex with his half sister

Pros: number cruncher who hung out with the Bloomsbury group Cons: economics is boring

Pros: wrote some really nice lines Cons: gigantic ego

Pros: brought India out of poverty, defeated the British Empire Cons: he was a NatSci

R

emember Byron, if you must, for his melancholy and depraved life story; admire him for his sardonic gesture of keeping a bear as a pet at Trinity after being told by the College authorities that no dogs were allowed; but give him your vote for his writing, which is the only reason anybody cares about the other stuff. Byron was able to laugh at the most serious things – ageing, literature, sex, religion, war – because he knew also how and why to take them seriously: “And if I laugh at any mortal thing, ‘tis that I may not weep.” DAN HITCHENS

Samuel Taylor Coleridge Poet, philosopher, romantic 1772-1834 Jesus College Pros: opium addict Cons: wasted genius

K

eynes challenged the paradigm that free markets automatically provided full employment and replaced it with ideas from his masterpiece, “The General Theory of Employment, Interest and Money.” He advocated interventionist policies for tackling recessions and established that demand and not supply governs economic activity. Also, Keynesian economic thought has re-emerged in the latest financial crisis, used in the government’s series of major bail outs. Keynes, “the father of macroeconomics”, revolutionised economic thinking. SARANYAH SUKUMARAN

M

ilton may not have convincingly justified the ways of God to man, but he did make Satan sexy. In Paradise Lost, he took on the biggest subject in Western culture, and produced the greatest, most ambitious poem in English Literature.

Considering he was blind, he did really, really well. Whatever message we take from his work, whether we see him as a heretic, a Puritan or a player (his third wife was half his age), we could all do well to remember his words, which have become a Bible for rebels everywhere: “Better to reign in Hell, than serve in Heaven.” ROSE CHENEVIX

Isaac Newton

N

ot only did Nehru achieve one of the highest-ever firsts in NatSci, but he also defeated the British Empire.

Gandhi’s protégé and de facto leader of the Indian independence movement, he spent over a decade in British jails fighting for freedom for his 300 million countrymen. The first and longest-serving Prime Minister of the world’s largest democracy, he set the nation he inherited onto its path to prosperity and became a key figure in post-war international politics. A hero to millions, this Cantab is one of the towering figures of world history. tanjil rashid

Vote now for the Greatest Cantabrigian

Charles Darwin Scientist, naturalist, fitty 1809-1882 Christ’s College Pros: told us where we came from Cons: Hitler was a fan

Got to www.varsity.co.uk and have your say.

S

cribbler, babbler, hypochondriac, junkie, hack, agitator, overweight, self-pitying genius. This madman brought us The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, what more do you want? He also brought about the greatest change in the history of English literature (with a little help from his mate Willy). He walked for miles and miles, chatted for hours and hours, and produced fragments of brilliance. Coleridge was so cool he never even graduated from Cambridge.

And half way through he accumulated such laddish debts he changed his name to Silas Tomkyn Comberbache and ran away to join the army. How great is that? anna trench

B To coincide with the 800th anniversary celebrations, we are launching a Varsity online poll to decide who was the greatest Cantabrigian in the history of our University. To start the debate, we have devised a shortlist of ten candidates from which you can vote.

In the spirit of diversity, we have tried to select widely from different walks of life. It has been an arduous process, and many of the great and the good have not made the cut.

Newton and Darwin survived where Hawking did not; we chose to Cook instead of Fry; and Cromwell, ironically, got the chop. Writer or economist, politician or comedian, philosopher or feminist: the race is on for us to decide who is the Greatest. Vote now at www.varsity.co.uk. The poll closes at midnight on Wednesday November 18th.

orn into a wealthy family, Charles Darwin abandoned would-be careers in medicine and theology to pursue his interest in the natural sciences. Despite an undistinguished academic record at Christ’s, Darwin went on to produce his groundbreaking theory of evolution, now absolutely fundamental to much of biology. Although Darwin’s religious views changed throughout the course of his life, his theory is also seen as revolutionising the relationship between science and religion. So, who remains one of history’s most influential scientific figures?

You know which Cantab to vote for in this survival of the fittest. Mingjuan Tan

Bertrand Russell

Germaine Greer

Peter Cook

Scientist, physicist, apple lover

Writer, feminist, CBB drop out

Philosopher, humanist, brain box

Comedian, writer, legend

1643-1727 Trinity College

1939Newnham College

1872-1970 Trinity College

1937-1995 Pembroke College

Pros: discovered gravity Cons: gravity is quite obvious

Pros: her work for gender equality Cons: the last four years

Pros: prevented Wittgenstein from pokering Popper Cons: analytic philosophy, really?

Pros: that Greta Garbo line Cons: you would not want to marry him

Isaac Newton is a strong contender for, if not the greatest ever, intellectual thinker the world has seen in the past 300 years.

Arriving at Trinity College as a sizar in 1661; when the mathematics he required for his theories did not exist he invented it, and these equations are still used by every physicist in the world today. His laws of motion have withstood the scrutiny of centuries of brilliant minds and he is regarded as the founding father of modern physical science. Perhaps comparable only to Einstein, Newton was simply a genius. sita dinanauth

Jawaharlal Nehru

W

e know, we know. The lady off Big Brother? Go back to 1971: gender discrimination and unequal pay were still rife, and the women’s liberation movement was only just beginning. Against this backdrop, The Female Eunuch ridiculed sexism regularly taken for granted in no uncertain terms. Sure, she’s squandered that good work on lame TV appearances and her views now only range from ‘mildly controversial’ to ‘batshit crazy’, but Greer is possibly the most self-actualised female personality in Britain, always relentlessly, offensively and defiantly herself. zing tsjeng

R

ussell was the founding father of the rigorous and systematic “analytic” style of philosophy, which to this day characterises most philosophy departments in the English-speaking world.

Perhaps the leading liberal intellectual of the 20th century, he stood for Parliament as a suffragist, was imprisoned for pacifism in World War I and was a highly vocal advocate of nuclear disarmament. Active till the end, he wrote to the UN Secretary General shortly before his death at the age of 97, to support an investigation into allegations of US torture in Vietnam. joel massey

B

efore there was Stephen Fry there was Peter Cook. Fry once described Cook as “the funniest man that ever drew breath”. Well, as usual, the bloody clever clogs was onto something. The first truly great Footlights man, Cook is practically the reason why the club is famous. Add to that Beyond the Fringe, Private Eye and Derek and Clive and you can basically credit him with modern British comedy. Before all that though, he was funny. He was so funny that he makes Justin Lee Collins look like a total prick– oh wait, bad example. nathan brooker

16

Fashion

Friday November 13th 2009 www.varsity.co.uk

Fashion Editors: Charlie Lyons, Joe

fashion@va

C R

e Pitt-Rashid and Lara Prendergast

arsity.co.uk

Friday November 13th 2009

E A T I O N

www.varsity.co.uk

Fashion17

Shot on loacation at the Cambr idge Museu m of Zoolog y.

Models: Dave Shone, megather ium amer icanum lav ier, lexodonta a f r icana , fel is leon is, g i ra f fa camelopa rdal is.

Su it by Esther Ra n k i n; Sh i r t by T M Lew i n; T ies a nd bow-ties by Gucci, Liber ty, Em mett and Ede and Ravenscrof t; Handkerch iefs by Ralph Lau ren, New and Ling wood, Hackett and Em mett.

18 Features

Friday November 13th 2009

Features Editor: Zing Tsjeng

www.varsity.co.uk

features@varsity.co.uk

Seven Deadly Sins of Cambridge Week 6: Wrath

I

n the case of this week’s chosen theme, I am definitely more sinned against than sinning. I make people angry – it’s a gift. My stammery indecision, lackadaisical manner and tendency to eat nothing but a jar of Nutella a day all week and then wander round the kitchen saying thoughtfully to everyone ‘It’s so weird, I just feel so queasy but at the same time very hyper’ – all of these things are designed to bring out the boiling rage in others. Most of the time I am perfectly inoffensive, even nice to have around the place – like an embroidered throw cushion, I blend tastefully into the background. But then someone will ask a favour of me, or a supervisor will request evidence of some thought going on in this blonde head of mine, and all civility crumbles away.

I am simultaneously incredibly infuriating and also extremely unsatisfying to be angry with. I won’t react, I just blub quietly into my knitted jumper while scheming my revenge for later – leaving rancid prawns in the fridge, putting tiny rocks in my attacker’s

sneakers, switching the orange juice with bleach and other such harmless domestic pranks. I have so much sublimated aggression that my stomach ulcers have stomach ulcers. It was not always thus – in early adolescence I smashed a bottle of HP sauce against a wall in the course of a light-hearted dinner table debate, and was known for carelessly tossing my sisters clothes from a third floor window if I felt slighted. But I soon realised that almost the moment you allow your anger to take hold, the mood dissipates, and then you’re left scraping brown sauce out of the carpet with a spatula or picking mini-skirts out of the flower beds, finding it difficult to recall exactly what riled you so much in the first place.

University wrath is very different to cuddly domestic fury. At home, my mother can scream ‘I should have aborted you with

a whisk’ and then mere hours later all is calm, you are watching How To Look Good Naked together and bitching about the fatties, while any deep psychological wounds

Lucy Nurnberg

have been safely repressed for marriage counsellors to rake over years later. However at university such healthy slanging matches are just not the done thing – it’s all about the bitter, long term grudge.

Also, as I heard a girl telling a friend on the way to lectures this morning ‘I know he’s going to come round tonight, and I just don’t have time to be angry afterwards, I’ve got work to do.’ Giving in to the wrath is hardly an option when you have to read all of Strindberg, pipette mouse viruses into test tubes for six hours or make a cardboard scale model of Manchester Town Hall. So you store up the Feelings until you can go out and drink a livershrivelling amount of gin wearing a dress that is basically a glorified top covered in sequins. You’ll either wake up next to someone inadvisable wearing only a Led Zeppelin t-shirt, or tell every girl who comes into Kambar toilets

about each mishap that has befallen you since the age of fourteen. Both outcomes will leave you so embarrassed that your shame will eclipse your anger, problem solved.

As an amoral acquaintance of mine told me earlier in the week ‘We’re in our early twenties – now is the time to do hateful, hurtful, destructive things while we’re still pert and rosy cheeked enough to get away with them.’ In this stressful, libidinous, booze-soaked environment, it is inevitable that everyone you know will be unreasonably horrible at least twice a term to someone they love and cherish. So don’t hold back – scream at them for being a heartless cretin, but then move on, because you will doubtless do something as misguided next week. However, if you do absolutely insist on clinging on to your resentment, do it in style. Don’t get mad, get even – skywrite the bastard’s name over town, put laminated posters of their misdeeds up on every spare railing and bribe heavily for a derogatory mention in a regular student column. Victoria beale

Shadow Puppet Guide

hot

KATE WINSLET According to the UK Film Council, worth about £60 million to the British economy. Jack should never have let go. moustaches Grow one for charity tache event Movember. Varsity idols include Dali and Lord Kitchener.

Christmas records Trendy again? Hardcore band Fucked Up are recording ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas?’, featuring indie favourites Vampire Weekend, TV On The Radio and Broken Social Scene.

Sacking david nutt Chief drugs advisor fired for suggesting drugs like cannabis be downgraded.

The Government: ruining your next drugs party.

Levi johnston for playgirl Erstwhile babydaddy to Sarah Palin’s daughter will strip off for the nude mag. Will we see full tundra?

Morrissey Storms out of Liverpool gig after being hit by a plastic bottle of beer from a not-so-charming man.

RISK: THE MOVIE The incredibly boring board game is now set for the big screen. What’s next, G.I. Joe? Oh, wait...

Not

Week 6: The Camel

My week by Roger Bodsbury, Gap year punter* Monday

Woke up this morning to find Mum had washed my Converse – what an idiot. Was in the garden till midday scuffing them up again.

Just to make things worse, I’d run out of Vo5 Bedhead styling wax.

Couldn’t decide what to wear but then found Dad’s old dinner jacket and bow-tie. Combined it with my Quicksilver surf shorts. Punt chic at its finest.

Also quite a good expression of my status as a laid-back bohemian in an uptight town.

Took one punt out – an old Welsh guy and his Vietnamese wife. Told them that they don’t let more than two swans live on the river at any time since William Wordsworth was attacked and killed by a flock of them in 1948. Talked to Jack and Sean about their trip to Thailand – sounded pretty spiritual. Really want to go. Might ask Laura to come with me.

Tuesday

Wore a bandana today.

Had a big American tour group as soon as I arrived at work. Gave them the usual stuff about the Mathematical Bridge and then told them that Queens’ College was named in memory of Freddie Mercury. Got asked why I wasn’t at uni and told them I was on a gap-year, just trying to learn more about the world. Don’t know if I will apply, I’ve just felt so trapped in the rat-race since I left sixth form in July.

Just nice to hang out with some chilled out guys like Jack and Sean and Laura for now. We’re just a group of chilled out idealists trying to escape the matrix. Tried to talk to Laura at work but couldn’t get away from Jack – he’s a great guy but you’d think he’d notice the sexual chemistry between us and take a hint.

Wednesday

Found a spandex sari today – combined it with my Nike hi-tops.

Sartorial elegance at its best. Also quite a good expression of my status as a neo-spiritual guru in a town throttled by the western analytic tradition (according to this professor I had on the punts today). Took out a Chinese family as well. Told them that Michael Douglas founded St Catharine’s in 2000 to commemorate his marriage to Catherine Zeta-Jones. Not sure they knew who she was. Went for drinks at The Anchor after work – asked Laura to go to Thailand with me but then Jack pointed out that it’s got pretty commercial since this time last year. Apparently all the students go there – good of him to look out for us like that.

Thursday

Laura and Jack are going to Cambodia together! Can’t believe

it. Took one punt out then went home. Thought I’d go into the shadows, so I laid low and watched ‘Neighbours’ with Mum before she took me to Pizza Hut.

Friday

Laura was wearing Jack’s hoodie today. He’s such an idiot – overheard him telling Sean that he was thinking of becoming an estate agent. He’s just going to end up working for the man. I don’t need those guys anyway. Was on Wikipedia today and found a place called Goa. Looks amazing and I bet Jack’s never even heard of it.

Just sand, sea and a community of like-minded ideological explorers trying to liberate themselves from spiritual oppression (according to the hostel website). I can’t wait.

They might even have punts. * As told to Joe Pitt-Rashid

Claudia Stocker

Features Editor: Zing Tsjeng

Sex, Food and TV 19

Friday November 13th 2009

features@varsity.co.uk

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Food and Drink

Come Together

Katie Forster hits the Cambridge bars in search of the best happy hour in town.

Boys who are girls who like boys to be girls who do girls like they’re boys who do boys like they’re girls... When love leaves you in the lurch, hate sex will not let you down.

I

’ve been told that it’s well worth having a scathing relationship row every now and then simply for the intensity of the make-up sex that follows. Having never loved anybody quite enough to hate them, I’ll have to take the experience of Kris for gospel, who broke up with a boyfriend three days before they were due to spend a fortnight together holidaying in Sardinia.

That’s a very small island for two people who loathe each other. She arrived back, all golden tan and epic Facebook album, and I asked her how they’d got along. “Awfully,” she said. “Fucking dreadful time.” And then – “best sex of my life.”

I found out who Anna had popped the virginity wine cork with from Charlie. Sober through rugby initiation, occasional partner of the forgettable fi rst year bicycle.

“PanzerFresher? Is that a physical

possibility?”

“Maybe he has – what do you call it? Charisma?”

“What a horrible waste,” I said, “of good wine.”

It took me a while to work it out.

I thrashed Charlie at squash and I didn’t smile when they played Journey in Cindies. I shot down a garrulous fat girl in a seminar because she was wearing a beret.

And on Wednesday, I had the best sex of my life.

I met her in the queue for the Van of Life. She was wearing a Wonder Woman outfit and she shoved her cheesy chips into my hands. “You have them,” she said. “Barbeque sauce ruined them.” Romance redefined.

It took a while to get past all of the lycra, and once there I could only think about Anna and her wine, and that great oaf ploughing

into her. It took a while to realise just how good Wonder Woman felt, and just how loudly she was coming. The walls trembled. Fuck, it was good. And at the end I rolled over, and spoke to the ceiling. “I am furious.”

Wonder Woman left the next morning in costume. Quite a walk of shame. I was still standing at the threshold when Anna’s door opened. PanzerFresher lurched out, wearing a Welsh rugby shirt and board shorts. He grunted at me.

Anna and I stood at our doors and watched him go. “It’s November,” I said, once he was out of ear range.

“You woke us up last night,” she said. “Apocalyptic. Medal-worthy.”

“A certificate’ll do.”

“Good night, obviously.”

“Not really,” I said. I nodded after Panzer. “Good night?”

“No. Not really.”

BOXED IN

– you know, the taller of the two – saves the reputation of a couple of friends by taking what he ingeniously terms a ‘wank-bullet’ for their web-based transgressions, he sums up our sordid, superficial generation in a word.

He’s summarising with one, hilarious epithet the generation that delivered the internet; that coined the phrase “I’m on the train”; that wrote essays on their laptops; that reduced the RSVP to ‘Yes/No/Maybe’; the generation that condensed friendship into covering for a friend’s frustrated jizzing. “Jez,” I mouth at my MacBook Pro, “you Noughties hero.” And he’s even got a little mime-gesture to go with it: a vigorous masturbatory handmotion followed by a pistol-fist pointed at his temple, Russianroulette-style. Television gold.

Narrative-wise, nothing is that new: Mark’s having a baby with his ex-wife, Sophie, true, but he’s still a romantic failure; Jez is once more having an ill-fated affair with an exotic but attached woman; and they both lose their jobs, several times. But the chuckles are back. Take the scene of the series: Super Hans – surely the least paternal crack addict on the box – reveals he’s been the proud father of twins for several years.

Twins? “Yeah, the twins. The fucking twins.” And how old are they, Super Hans? “Dunno. About seven. What’s ‘fünf’ in English?”

Genius. Dump this on my harddrive any day. RODNEY CASSOCK

The weekly guide to staying in and switching on

E Search: bulletproof+barlow+spin

Lou Barlow of iconic alt-rock band Dinosaur Jr. covers La Roux’s ‘Bulletproof’ on acoustic guitar.

Who knew electro-pop could sound so tender? Skip ahead to the 1:00 minute mark; he rambles.

ver taken a wank-bullet?

Yup: I have. As in, yes, I’ve taken the blame – on more than one occasion – for someone else dumping a batch of porn on my hard-drive. Traumatic.

But more on this later.

I’d had it with Peep Show.

Seasons 4 and 5 were dead to me: repetitive rehashes of seasons 1-3, more of the same drudgery about the two loser flatmates, Mark and Jeremy – that diptych of berks who fail, fail again, and fail worse, professionally, romantically and socially, all accompanied by a drone of self-depreciating monologues. Season 6? I’d rather watch Friends, I thought.

But how wrong I was. Not only does Armstrong and Bain’s latest incarnation mark an end to the laughter drought of the previous two series, but it’s a densely-written return to the germane social commentary of the first three seasons that cut apart the web 2.0 generation. And for reasons of space I’ll refine this sweeping assertion to just one word: wank-bullets. I’m talking about wank-bullets.

Because, when, like me, Jez

Peep Show is available on 4oD.

Here’s looking at you kid: we’ll always have Cambridge

E

veryone loves a good cocktail. Girls can pretend they’re in Sex And The City whilst boys feel like James Bond. Third years drink them to get a flavour of the glamorous lives ahead of them (they hope), and freshers love them because you can’t taste the alcohol. So where are the best places in Cambridge for a classy martini or a lethal long island ice tea?

The Vaults (14a Trinity St) has a long list of cocktails to drink in classy surroundings, and a two-for-£6 deal during happy hour, which luckily lasts all night on Tuesdays. At other times the drinks are a little on the pricey side, explaining the lack of students when we visited on a Thursday night. £6.25 bought a small but very alcoholic lime Daiquiri which was like drinking a triple shot of white rum with a splash of lime. There are also imaginative house cocktails with interesting (and sometimes disturbing!) names, ‘The Sexual Predator’ with pomegranate liqueur and Cointreau packing a very tasty punch. Comfortable sofas and attractive lighting add to the bar’s atmosphere, but it’s probably best not to get pennied here considering the price and potency of the drinks.

The Regal (38–39 St Andrews Street) has cocktails on the other end of the spectrum – cheap, sweet and sticky if you spill them.

A jug of ‘Woo woo’ (vodka, archers and cranberry) to share is £7.60 and very drinkable, at least more so than the ready bottled ‘mojito’ flavoured alcopops at The Place (22 Sidney Street) which leave you with a bad taste in your mouth and an uncontrollable urge

Mister Connections Last Wednesday, outside King’s.

Me: black coat, black hair, you: tweed jacket, DMs and bow tie.

Stop dressing like a pretentious twat, I’ll go out with you.

Saw you (Strokes T-shirt) in Sally

to dance, presumably to match the bar’s slightly questionable music.

If you’re into happy hours but don’t like having to down your drinks before dinner then Brown’s (23 Trumpington St) offers bargain £3.50 cocktails from their signature list all night from Sunday to Wednesday. The selection is good and the drinks are mostly delicious – the apple and lychee martini is refreshing and not too sweet, with subtle fruity notes helping the gin slip down nicely. However, steer clear of the ‘Brown Eyes Blue’ unless you’re after a potent and bitter blue concoction that is not for the fainthearted. Ta Bouche (10-15 Market Passage) is another swanky silverbar cocktail joint serving a good choice of expertly-mixed drinks.

‘Sex on the Beach’ is large, thirstquenching and fruity; their mojito was suitably minty and fresh. If original cocktails are what you’re after, try a drink from their speciality menu: the ‘Apple Pie’ is a tasty creation that is just as the name promises, the cinnamon syrup suiting anyone with a sweet tooth.

Best for cheap prices and drinking in a historical venue, the Cambridge Union Society Bar (9a Bridge St) offers two of the same cocktail for £5 from 6-8 every night. The quality of the drinks, although mixed by students, is high, a particular favourite being the cucumber martini. If you can’t get enough of the drinks at the bar you can try one of the cocktailmaking workshops, every other Monday (even numbered weeks this term). You will be taught how to mix the cocktails yourself and you get to drink everything you make – for better or worse.

Ann’s on Mill Rd last Friday. Get your hands off that cheap cutlery and around me. boy w/ long hair.

To you-know-who in Café Project from you-know-who in Café Project. Do you know who? (x) Want to send in your missed connection?

E-mail mrconnections@live.com.

The best ones will be on VarsiTV.

20

Features

Features Editor: Zing Tsjeng

Friday November 13th 2009

features@varsity.co.uk

www.varsity.co.uk

From Cambridge streets to West End stages john haynes

TSukasa aoki

robbie jack

john haynes

Cambridge drama: love it or hate it, it’s spawned some of most exciting British directors and creative minds.

Lauren Cooney talks to Simon McBurney of Complicite, Dominic Dromgoole from the Globe and John Barton from the RSC about their journey from ADC barflies to avant-garde artist, Shakespeare practitioner and national theatrical treasure.

L to R: Complicite’s production of Endgame, McBurney’s adaptation of Haruki Murakami’s The Elephant Vanishes, and Dromgoole’s productions of Romeo & Juliet and Love’s Labours Lost. the international drama school with origins in Commedia dell’arte clowning.

Whilst McBurney comes off as part-rebel and part-Shakespearean fool, John Barton more than satisfies the wise-man stereotype.

As a Cambridge undergraduate, the 81-yearold Barton refused to do the Tragedy paper in Part II English. “There’s no such thing as tragedy, particularly with Shakespeare– it’s a Greek title”, he maintains, so he switched to Anglo-Saxon, aced the exam, and became a fellow at King’s in the early 1950s.

He probably would have stayed there if chum Peter Hall hadn’t asked for his support in forming the RSC. Hall had only directed one Shakespeare play during his time at Cambridge, and Barton’s proficiency was an asset the company craved. As Barton explains, “Hall wanted to create a more permanent ensemble, he wanted everyone to be expert with the text”.

buildings will surely court attention”.

To be fair, Dromgoole has a point. “I think everything should be approached as a new play. Whereas at the RSC you are reacting to four hundred years of performance history, when we do Shakespeare here our our ambition is to say ‘no one’s done this before’ and come to it with freshness and immediacy”. He believes that the architecture of the Globe demands shows that are

naked and honest. “It can’t be about directorial ideas – it’s got to be about human beings in the moment, and that’s what writers write are for; not for the directors to come up with something… It’s very easy to do something theatrically new, but it’s totally fucking pointless.”

Maybe it’s because Dromgoole is the baby of the three – he graduated in the 1980s – or maybe it is because he was a student during a period of recession

“I’d dyed my hair pink, I was busy attending anti-Nazi rallies, and taking a lot of drugs.”

The emphasis on ‘expert’ is what differentiates Britain’s two most famous mainstream Bard-centric establishments. Barton is a paragon for the RSC, having directed every single Shakespeare play at some point, some many times. Sipping tea in his London home, he maintains he is not lecturing me on theatre, but there is no doubt that I am listening to an ‘expert’.

Dominic Dromgoole, on the other hand, chats to me with his feet up on his desk. His office backs directly onto the Globe, sharing a wall with the theatre – which is plainly evident from the clashing sounds of an Elizabethan band entertaining schoolchildren.

There is much debate about the standard of shows that take place in the Globe.

Barton, for example, refused to sit on the council for it, declaring “it is there for the tourists”. Of course, Dromgoole vehemently defends it: “It is not kitsch, and there are not that many tourists in the audience…any interesting L to R: Dominic Dromgoole, Simon McBurney, John Barton

robbie jack

Simon McBurney SHEILA BURNETT

“O

ur revels now are ended”, quoth Hamm in Beckett’s Endgame, echoing the same bleak acceptance of death first coined by Shakespeare’s Prospero in The Tempest. Only Hamm, in the shape of modern-day theatre hero, Mark Rylance, is muttering this to Clov, played by Complicite’s Artistic Director Simon McBurney, 400 years since Prospero’s expiration.

The revelry of the stage doesn’t ever seem to dwindle – despite fears of recession, cinema, and an endless recycling of snoring boring classics. And for many, the Cambridge drama scene seems to be a step-shuffle kick into stardom. It has played nursery to household names with fantasy résumés that read: ‘brief ADC fling; Footlights legend; did Edinburgh; picked up by the BBC; Artistic Director of the Old Vic; Nine Academy Awards’. Dominic Dromgoole, current Artistic Director of the Globe, Simon McBurney, the founder and artistic director of experimental company Complicite, John Barton, co-founder of the RSC (centre, from left to right) are three such directors who assumedly spring from these origins. I met up with the three alumni to discuss their varying physical, philosophical and meta-theatrical paths from the Cambridge streets.

McBurney is the only one who was born and raised in Cambridge. Consequently, attending Peterhouse “didn’t hold the same mystique”. He flitted indiscriminately from show to show, making people laugh. As with the fantasy résumé, sooner or later the Footlights got wind and invited him to participate in their Revue. “I wasn’t very much of that world”, he admits, “it was the era of punk: I’d dyed my hair pink, I was busy attending anti-Nazi rallies, and taking a lot of drugs”. While the Footlights were thrashing out endless wordplay, McBurney wrote ‘situations’ without words, and showcased his work in the Corpus Playrooms, which he co-founded with friends.

Sitting in his dressing room at the theatre where Endgame is showing, dressed in a grimy white tank-top costume and tanking up on food, McBurney looks every inch the maverick practitioner. “[At Cambridge] I had the feeling I was treading someone else’s path or dancing to someone else’s tune”. So he ran away to Paris, to L’École Internationale de Théâtre Jacques Lecoq,

Features Editor: Zing Tsjeng

Friday November 13th 2009

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Features 21

A Brief History The Globe Theatre, London ANDy bradshaw

L to R: Patrick Stewart in Barton’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Judi Dench as Viola in Barton’s Twelfth Night, and David Tennant as Hamlet in an RSC production. where most of his university mates graduated into unemployment – either way, he talks about theatre with cut-throat cynicism.

He studied Classics at St Catharine’s and then switched to English, which he calls “a total doss”. He wangled his way onto the ADC, Marlowe, and Mummers committees (which specialised in bringing heavyweight shows up to Edinburgh), squeezing out budgets of nearly £2,000 for his shows, some of which he spent on ‘hammers and nails’ (booze and speed).

Except for a devastating blip when his application to direct the European Theatre Group was rejected (“it seemed at the time so definitive, as to whether you were going to be alright or not”) , it sounds like he had a blast.

Upon graduating, Dromgoole worked as everything from a barman to an agricultural consultant. He was in and out of the praised Bush Theatre as an assistant before becoming its artistic director at age twenty-six. He is ‘alright’ now but his path was certainly not clear-cut.

So how do burgeoning Cambridge

directors make their own path and break free from the shackles of the text, having started off in Cambridge with impressive academics and one of the finest libraries in the world staring them in the face?

Of the three, McBurney’s theatrical history is the hardest to get to grips with.

He describes Lecoq as a thoroughfare for weird and wonderful theatre and performance acts at odds with his staid academic background: “It was a huge liberation to see people making theatre from scratch”. So there’s always unconventional schools like Lecoq, which have a habit of unleashing all sorts of inspiration. He compares the course to RADA: “They say, ‘we’ve got to do these

“It’s very easy to do something theatrically new, but it’s totally fucking pointless.”

Dominic Dromgoole

plays, and you have got to learn to act in them, and they will prepare you for the profession’. [Lecoq] didn’t really care about the profession, what he cared about was life and how you create it.”

McBurney’s company is named after one of the three founding principles of Lecoq – complicité is French for togetherness – and it is based entirely on collaborative work. In fact, if there’s one thing all three directors have in common, it’s their admiration for the talents of their peers and their emphasis on collaboration and respect.

Despite Barton’s wealth of experience, he comes across as pragmatic and appreciative. He talks of a hugely successful production of Troilus and Cressida he directed in 1969 starring Ben Kingsley and Helen Mirren, saying, “it was their doing, not me. I could do it because there was the talent around.”

For him, the

key to good directing lies in “good casting”.

Barton and Dromgoole are sensible about the art of directing, valuing the ability to crack open a text and facilitate a company over any kind of directorial vision. “[The latter] is pretty few and far between,” Dromgoole says. “I’m not one of them. Most people that claim to be are horrendously fraudulent, and their work is a hodge-podge of other people’s ideas.” The advice he offers is practical: “what you learn as a director is how to cast, how to get the right groups of people together, how to get them working: treat people like grown-ups, don’t fuck about with them. Make sure you are the right sort of clownish, but that you have the right sort of authority to make decisions as well”.

Dromgoole makes clear that directing is something to ‘learn’: it is a humbling process.

On the other hand, it doesn’t exactly sound inspiring. According to Dromgoole, if you’ve got the balls to stand in front of a group of people and take control then you will make a fine director. But don’t hand in your director’s toupee if you’re a sensitive mouse with a passion for bringing texts to life. There is an infinite abyss that yearns to be filled by the avant-garde. It’s no surprise that McBurney’s experimental approach invites more room for directorial creativity. “I wanted to make theatre that I didn’t see,” he says. He looks outside the text and turns to the space, the actors, and the audience: “the audience in the end literally creates the theatre, because theirs is a creative act, because it’s so obviously fake”.

In this respect he agrees with Dromgoole’s ideas about the openness of the Globe, understanding that “you can create a world on stage, where the whole theatre is in a sense absolutely alive”.

But nowadays you don’t have to go to the Globe to have that kind of immersive experience. The avant-garde has been co-opted by the mainstream, with the National Theatre commissioning plays by companies like Punchdrunk and Complicite. The RSC remains as a stalwart emblem of high art and academia, the ten-year old Globe is still finding its feet, and companies like Complicite straddle the border between convention and the avant-garde.

John Steinbeck said that “the theatre is the only institution in the world which has been dying for 4000 years and never succumbed”. For every stifling rendition of Wilde or Chekhov, there will be another that is smartly directed and beautifully observed; there will also be a smattering that are outrageous, brave, and progressive.

So, whether you are an audience member sitting tight and suspending their disbelief, opening up a new Cambridge theatre space, or hanging by a thread from the Bridge of Sighs after another rejection, take heart: you are responsible for preventing theatre’s death. You can run from East Anglia to Paris through the Forest of Arden, via a disused warehouse, and onto the West End stage. But above all, as Dromgoole puts it, “get some bloody sleep”.

Destroyed by a fire in 1613, the original Elizabethan playhouse was built by Shakespeare’s playing company, the Lord Chamberlain’s Men. Its modern reconstruction, approximately 230m away from the original site, was opened in 1997 by American actor-director Sam Wanamaker.

Described by Dromgoole as “the most successful theatre in the western hemisphere”, it sold 5.5m tickets last year and under Dromgoole’s direction has been premiering new work alongside Shakespearean plays.

The RSC, Stratford-Upon-Avon

Founded by the 29 year old Peter Hall at the then-titled Shakespeare Memorial Theatre in 1961, the RSC has long been the stomping ground for British thesp royalty like Ian Mckellen, Judi Dench, and Patrick Stewart (all of whom were directed by Barton). The RSC has enjoyed a bit of a renaissance lately: after languishing in £2.8m debt for the early 2000s, it has turned its fortunes around under Michael Boyd’s artistic direction. Barton continues to serve as Company Advisory Director.

Complicite, London SARAH AINSLIE

Set up in 1983, Complicite has been heralded as having “irrevocably changed the face of British theatre”. The company integrates physical and visual theatre and uses dazzling audio-visual technology to great acclaim – though critics say that the company sometimes favours style over substance. Although the company line-up changes frequently, McBurney remains artistic director. Recent collaborators include world musician Nitin Sawhney.

22 Arts

Friday November 13th 2009 www.varsity.co.uk

Arts Editor: Laura Freeman

features@varsity.co.uk

Empire State of Mind In the place photographed by a thousand tourists and backdrop to a hundred films, Emma Hogan talks to artists Jordana Zeldin and Sam Bassett about uncovering the unknown sides of New York City

Jordana Zeldin’s photographs of torn subway and billboard posters taken on her Brooklyn/Manhatten commute

M

id-way through having lunch with an eighty-year-old, born-and-raised New Yorker, she leaned in, and told me something I only half knew: “Every day, I see something in the city which surprises me. There’s always something new.” Two very different artists, photographer Jordana Zeldin and (self-styled) ‘humanitarian, artist, filmmaker and photographer’ Sam Bassett both attempt to capture something of the fantastic, fragmentary, and surprising city of New York.

One morning, when taking the subway from Brooklyn into Manhattan, Jordana Zeldin noticed a medical advert for the removal of bunions, which had been defaced with the ‘simple, elegant marking’ of someone scrawling ‘LOL’ onto it. She took a photo with her iPhone, the only camera she had to hand. And so began her eight month Subversions project, documenting snapshots of graffiti over the city, using her iPhone. ‘The iPhone is the tool of the modern commuter,’ says Zeldin, ‘and I wanted to remain a commuter on this project, which became about being a traveller in the city.’

The resulting images are startling in their simplicity and beauty. And, in looking at them, you get the sense that something has been covertly captured, Zeldin focusing in on an encounter between an image and an anonymous person, a fleeting reaction.

Instead of staring blankly at an advert, someone has come along and added to it, or torn it away to reveal another one beneath.

Such an action could go unnoticed, were it not for the fact that Zeldin has brought it sharply into focus.

Zeldin argues that “to survive in New York you cannot take everything in, so the way I cope with that, photographically, is to zoom in.” In doing so, Zeldin continues a New York photographic tradition. In the 1930s, photographer Helen Levitt (perhaps most famous now for providing the image of a gaggle of street children, used by The Walkmen for the cover of their first album) took images of children playing in the street, or of their chalk markings on the pavements

or walls of Harlem brownstone houses. And Levitt’s contemporary (and mentor) Walker Evans was, like Zeldin, a photographer-ascommuter, using a camera hidden in his coat buttonhole to take photos of unsuspecting travellers sitting opposite him. In such a way, Evans, Levitt, and Zeldin in their wake, captured those transitory moments, such as awkward glances between train passengers, that make up a life in a city.

Zeldin cites as her two main influences the two greats of American colour photography, Saul Leiter and William Egglestone.

Like them, her work (in Subversions but particularly in a series of dreamy, Sofia Coppola-esque Polaroids) has a particular

“Every day I see something in the city which surprises me” gentleness to it, the colours becoming intensified yet also, somehow, softened by late afternoon, East Coast sunshine. Similarly, like Egglestone’s photographs (of diners and porches and people in Memphis, Tennessee) Zeldin concentrates on the little things – her series on Brooklyn Flea Markets could have been taken by the eye of an avid collector, and Zeldin describes the ‘thrill of the find’ in photography, searching for images as you might rifle excitedly through vintage clothes.

Sam Bassett’s work also continually engages with New York, yet in a very different way. A striking figure – over six foot tall, with long blonde hair and a gentle voice – I met him at the Hotel Chelsea (made famous, in part, by Sid killing Nancy, by the two Dylans – Thomas and Bob – living there at different points, and by Leonard Cohen’s immortalizing song, Chelsea Hotel #2), where he is the last permanent resident, living on the rooftop with a view over the lower west side. As we walked around the Hotel Chelsea area, Bassett pointed out various markings that appeared on billboards, wrapped around

subway entrances, and hovering on walls.

These turned out to be his ‘tape sculptures’, abstract designs he plasters over the city at night-time, trying to lift our eyes up and engage with the landscape. There is something in the grace and movement of his ‘tape sculptures’ which reminds me of the arc of a plane, or of the curve of a ball flying through the air, and so it is not surprising to find out that Bassett has been a private pilot since the age of eleven, nor that he was the captain of the Syracuse University National Championship lacrosse team.

Bassett’s eclectic background explains why his most recent project is so wonderfully eccentric. Seven Feature Films is a project which “seeks to truthfully explore and celebrate America’s rich cultural history of individuality.” In attempting to do so, Bassett has created documentary films about figures and people he knows or came across, only connected by their “underdog-eqsue characters”. When asked to describe them, Bassett started with a story of a figure called Cowboy Stan, who is a “kind of packrat East Village character”, and of Bettina, a “great thinker, unknown and unrecognised”.

But further than that, he wouldn’t say – the films should speak for themselves. And, in a way, they do: each character is unique, ranging from Bassett’s ninety-three year old grandmother Constance, irate poet Ira Cohen, Viva Stormé DeLarverié who threw the first punch which started the Stonewall riots (which, in turn, launched the Gay Rights movement), to the managing director of the Hotel Chelsea for over fifty years, Stanley Bard. Bassett, through documenting his friends and family, does capture something of the particular brand of Chelsea eccentricity, of the peculiar people you find in a city. Yet, when I was watching ‘Ira Cohen’, even with Cohen sitting a couple of rows ahead of me, I still did not feel that Bassett’s film necessarily captured his subject entirely, instead just showing a brief moment in one person’s life.

But perhaps this is the point, and one of the (sometimes oddly freeing) restrictions

of working in a city. Both Bassett’s films and Zeldin’s photographs have the quality of letting you into New York secrets, making the unnoticed – that which hovers in the corner of your eye – appear. As Zeldin says, “if you just pause, or look down to the side, you are probably going to notice something you would not else have seen.”

Bassett’s ‘tape sculptures’ on (top) billboards, sidewalks, and (bottom) the entrances to subway stations

Reviews Editor: Paul Smith

www.varsity.co.uk

The Varsity Week

Seasick Steve sunday november 15th, the corn exchange, 19.00 (sold out)

One string guitar-playing, Jack Pick Daniels-swigging of the ex-tramp called week Steve. It’s sold Music out so you’ll just have to catch the after party, all night, outside Sainsbury’s.

Film The Men Who Stare At Goats the vue, Daily (10.10 Sat/Sun Only) 12.30 14.50 17.10 19.30

It’s a film about men who stare at goats. Did you see how we deliberately misinterpreted the title for comic effect? Eh? No, come off it...

Music & Nightlife Saturday November 14th Mr Scruff the junction, 22.00 (£10)

The world’s most famous Kwik Save alumnus. Expect many hours of chillout twiddle. Keep it unreal.

Bright Star Arts Picturehouse, Fri/Mon/Tue/Wed: 13.30, 16.00, 18.30 (not Fri), 21.00, Sat: 12.30, 16.45, 21.30, Sun: 16.30, 18.30, Thu: 12.00, 14.30, 20.30

Romance between Keats and Fanny Brawne burns bright from dusk until dawn. Oh gosh. I’m a poet and I’m aware of it. See review on Page 25.

An Education Arts Picturehouse, Fri/Sat/Thu: 12.00, 14.10, 18.30 (not Thu), 21.10, Sun: 14.10, 19.00, 21.10, Mon/Tue/Wed: 12.00 (not Tue/Wed), 14.10, 16.20, 18:45, 21.10, Thu: 16.20

Go and be educated. It’s quite good.

Harry Brown the vue, Daily 13.30 16.00 18.30 21.00 Fri/Sat/ Wed/Thurs 23.30

My name is Harry Brown, and I am a geriatric vigilante. Starring Michael Caine.

The Arts Picturehouse hosts the UK première of a documentary on 1932-33 Soviet Ukraine TerrorFamine tonight. But will there be a red carpet laid outside Spoons?

Probably not, no.

Encounters At The End Of The World fisher building, st john’s college, thursday November 19th, 21.00. (Free)

Sticking with the apocalypse, this South Pole documentary has breathtaking views of chilling landscapes and zombie polar bears.

This Sporting Life christ’s college, thursday November 19th, 21.00. (Free)

Lindsay Anderson’s gritty classic about rugby league in Wakefield, where both teams always throw everything at it, and the kitchen sink. Bosh!

The Wizard of Oz ADC THEATRE, FRI-SAT 19.45 (£6/9)

Sunday November 15th Live Modern Jazz with Andrew Bowie Quartet Cricketers, 18 Melbourne place, 20.30-00.00 (free)

Andrew Bowie: “Could you list this as often as possible: it makes a difference to the crowd we get?”

Varisty: “Sure, Andrew.”

Watch the crowd swell.

Sunday November15th Oasis @ Fez

Tuesday November 17th A Place To Bury Strangers the portland arms 20.00-23.00 (£6)

Apparently the noisiest band in the world. They sound like The Smiths arranged for sand blaster and pneumatic drill.

Wednesday November 18th Swingle Singers the corn exchange, 19.30 (£14-25)

Not to be mistaken for a group of Single Swingers, these “eight remarkable voices” sing songs

by Bach, Mozart, Chopin, Chick Corea, Sting, John Lennon, Björk as part of the Cambridge Music Festival. No orgies.

Thursday November 19th Two Door Cinema Club The portland arms, 20.00 (£6)

“Don’t believe the hype” Public Enemy said, but don’t miss this gig.

These lads from Northern Ireland are worth looking out for in 2010.

2012 the vue, Daily 12.00 12.45 15.40 16.30 19.20 20.12 Fri/Sat/Wed/Thurs Late 22.50 (23.40 Not Thurs)

1984 was published in 1949. 2001 was released in 1968.

Pick 2012 is out now. Can we of the hold off the nightmare week future much longer? Film Featuring star of Must Love Dogs, John Cusack.

Aaaaarrrrgggh.

Arts Ongoing Exhibitions Fitzwilliam Museum (Free)

Talks & Events Friday November 13th Life Drawing

Nothing like a bit of Joni Mitchell to waste away the winter hours. Come and hear her sing ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’ and a host of other classics on the dramatically different ADC stage.

Special Display: Matthew Boulton and the Industrial Revolution (until March 21st).

Sculpture promenade (until January 31st).

Draw people. They might even get naked for you, all in the name of art.

What’s Wrong with Angry?

People’s Portraits

Wolfson Lecture Theatre, Churchill College, 19.30-21.00 . (Free)

Still don’t know? What’s taken you so long! Come discover the answer to this very important question.

Liam Gallagher’s talking about forming a new band. But will his new musical project have club nights named after it? No chance.

friday november 13th, arts picturehouse, 19.00

Theatre

ADC THEATRE, FRI-SAT 23.00 (£4-6)

fez 22.00-03.00 (£4)

The Living

Listings 23

Friday November 13th 2009

reviews@varsity.co.uk

The Caucasian Chalk Circle ADC THEATRE, tues-SAT 19.45 (£6/9)

Brecht + Freshers = Good Times, hell’s yeah! There will be the alienation effect, and there will be Freshers, all on one stage!

Black Comedy ADC THEATRE, WEDS-SAT 23.00 (£4-6)

Freshers on the stage late and well past their bed-time/Cindies-time/ puke-time.

Girton College, until December 1st.

(Free)

Millennial Royal Society of Portrait Painters’ collection on long-term loan to Girton, depicting ordinary people from all walks of life.

Helen Ameida: Inside Me Kettle’s Yard, Until Sunday November 15th, 11:30am-5pm. (free)

Last chance to see this exhibition before it closes on Sunday. Brilliant selection of works where she tests the limits of the artist as subject through striking use of colour, line and space.

Marvin’s Room

Equus

Look Back in Anger JUDITH E. WILSON, WEDS-SAT 20.00 (£5)

Remix gig headlined by the people that run them Oasis clubnights at Fez.

Blueprint ADC THEATRE, TUES 23.00 (£4-6)

OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG.... Squeal time!!!!!!

Major Lazer himself, Dr Bill O’Neill talks laser-matter interactions, optical engineering and manufacturing process technologies. Pon de floor.

Monday November 16th Head Gardeners: The Forgotten Heroes Of Horticulture Seminar Room 1, Department of History and Philosophy of Science, 13.00-14.15 (Free).

Just what you’ve been waiting for: a special talk on Alan Titchmarsh, George Bush and Robert Plant.

Tuesday November 17th Teach First Presentation Fancy selling your soul to Lucifer in a Faustian pact? Teach First is for you, then. Find out how to get involved and expect a special appearance from the Seven Deadly Sins.

Find out who is wasting their life away, in this startling mockumentary about 14th century architecture.

Daniel Radcliffe, Alfie Allen – can Cambridge provide a decent bit of hot totty to rival these celebrities’ naked bods?

Monday November 16th Laser Photonics

trinity hall, 19.00-20.00, (Free).

CORPUS PLAROOM, TUES-SAT 19.30 (£5-7)

PEMBROKE NEW CELLARS, TUES-SAT 20.00 (£4-6)

The Shop, Jesus Lane, 14.00-16.00, (£2-4)

Lumière – Lithographs by Odilon Redon Fitzwilliam Museum, Seminar Room 35

It’s too cold to stand shivering in the sculpture pavilion; go inside the Fitz to see the substantial exhibition of lithographs by the French Symbolist.

Gandhi’s Children Archaeology and anthropology, Downing Street, Until Monday November 30th, 10:30-4:30pm (Free)

David Macdougall documented the life of the boys in a New Delhi home that provides food and shelter for 350 children on film.

Tuesday November 17th Rupert Sheldrake: Morphic Resonance, Collective Momory, and the Habits of Nature Pharmacology Lecture Theatre, Tennis Court Road, 20.00-21.00. (Free)

Professor Rupert Sheldrake (below right) talks on his hypothesis of formative causation, followed by a stimulating after lecture discussion on life as a bear, yellow scarves, red jumpers and badger friends.

Knighton Hosking: Paintings Churchill College, Until Saturday november 14th ( free)

Closing tomorrow, this exhibition is well worth a visit. Paintings, sculptures and Chinese ink drawings by the ‘New Generation’ artist, are executed with a vibrant piquancy, while not undermining the profundity of the subject matter.

Tanya ‘Baby T’ Iqbal: Takeaways www.varsitv.co.uk (Free).

On VarsiTV: Check out this vid and check the joke. Bye bitches.

24 Reviews

Friday November 13th 2009

Reviews Editor: Paul Smith

www.varsity.co.uk

reviews@varsity.co.uk

music

New Releases paul smith

Bowling For Soup sorry for partyin’

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Speech Debelle at the Junction on Tuesday: Is her Mercury in retrograde?

Speech Debelle

Exposure Music Awards! East, the junction, tuesday november 10th

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“P

eople say I’m good, but they could be being nice, right?” Despite winning the 2009 Mercury Prize, modesty has not escaped Speech Debelle.

Friendly Fires and Florence & the Machine were on the shortlist but Speech Therapy, her debut, spoke the loudest to the judging panel.

Debelle, real name Corynne Elliot, a 26-year-old rapper from London, certainly lives up to her name. Her lyrics hark back to her tricky upbringing including a spell living in hostels, but she’s not one to sit in the corner and cry. Headlining the Exposure Music Awards! East, a showcase of talent from East England at The Junction, she justified her new

CUMS 1 Launch Concert west road concert hall, saturday november 7th

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ritten’s Sinfonia da Requiem is one of his most stark and powerful works, his protest against the war that was devastating Europe at the time of composition.

The opening Lacrimosa was appropriately bleak and dark, but it lacked the searing primeval power and thrust that make this movement the truly terrifying and shattering experience it is meant to be. The Dies Irae, a dazzling orchestral scherzo, featured some great ensemble string playing and conductor Carlos Del Cueto imbued the movement with a real sense of urgency and direction. The conciliatory Requiem Aeternam featured some exceedingly beautiful playing from the flute section

found acclaim at a bash considerably more low-key than the Mercury.

Not your conventional rapper, she opened with ‘The Key’, backed by her boys, The Therapists, on drums, double bass and acoustic guitar. Although a talented wordsmith, she didn’t spit out her lyrics at the expense of the strong melodies explored by her jazz band instrumentation. Honesty about her roots rings out in lines like “So as the chapter close that’s how the story goes/As I’ve grown I’ve learnt that friends turn to foes”.

Speaking of roots, she followed up with ‘Wheels in Motion’, released as a duet with Roots Manuva. He couldn’t make it, but as Speech promised, “My boys can do his part just as good”. She wasn’t lying. Her influencs of reggae, hip-hop and soul fused together brilliantly on songs ‘Go Then, Bye’ and ‘Spinnin’.

The crowd, if you could call it that, was small but more than ready to step into Speech’s world.

There were moments when she was aware of the size of her audience, encouraging sheepish onlookers to shuffle up and christening a bespectacled gig-goer in the front row ‘Zane Lowe’, but the disappointing turnout didn’t perturb her for long. Banter with previous act Metis (winner of the award’s best local live act, despite confessing that he’s waiting for his British passport in the post) also dispelled any awkwardness. The odd introduction to her songs wouldn’t have gone amiss, though.

“Honesty is courage and since I got the heart of a lion then there’s no sense in lying”. So she declares on ‘Finish this Album’. We’re not going to lie and we’re not just being nice – Speech Debelle, you’re more than just good. lara prendergast and

and built to a fine climax, though ultimately the performance was a frustrating one – because the crisis of the first movement had not been convincingly enough conveyed such a beautiful epilogue didn’t seem earned.

Chen Chen was the soloist in Beethoven’s third piano concerto, and her highly poetic and sensitive reading of the solo part was a pleasant deviation from the norm for this stormy concerto role. The orchestra seemed underrehearsed, Beethoven’s uncluttered textures proving to be a brutal test on ensemble and tuning for the players.

In Vaughan Williams’ London Symphony the niggling problems that had beset the orchestra in the first half all appeared to melt away. The gleaming, effervescent orchestral textures and ever-shifting tempo markings of the first movement were masterfully and

subtly controlled by Biggins, the orchestra extremely impressive in its unity and accuracy. The ravishing slow movement had magnificent sweep and real emotion, with this drive and strength of feeling being again replicated in the restless finale. This Symphony can seem prolix, but all parties conspired here to produce a truly outstanding performance that enthralled from start to finish. guido martin-brandis

alice hancock

Michael Derringer

Robbie Williams

reality killed the video star

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Never judge an album by its band’s appearance. Every so often, however, their appeal coincides.

Bowling For Soup are getting old, but they’re in a swimming pool, obese and tattooed, on their album art, and they’re still producing tinny punk-pop songs for nine year old boys to rebel to. Sorry for Partyin’ deals with that middle age crisis: to party on or to turn all suburban and pay the bills? Sometimes it’s just downright crass. BFF juggles the desperation to remain straight with the expression of affection for a friend. “I’m trying to say I love you in a heterosexual way.”

Thanks for the clarification.

There’s irony here, but never quite enough. Still, Sorry for Partyin’ is worst when it attempts sentimentality, usually in regards to a hot ass jiggling out of the door. “The memories stay forever,” sings Jaret Reddick on ‘Me With No You’, “like tattoos.” Ouch. abigail dean

After spending three years in the Nevada desert waiting for us to forget his rapping on Rudebox, Robbie Williams returns with a more conventional record.

Guy Chambers’ song writing attempts to recreate the expansive ballads that formed Williams’ popularity. Unfortunately they no longer reflect the increasingly bizarre, mental world of the man singing them. The results are bland songs that have a tendency towards overlong tunelessness.

There are successful moments.

Williams’ high tenor on ‘Morning Sun’ channels Bowie but is laboriously slow. The close harmony on ‘You Know Me’ evokes 50s pop but is drowned in sickly string arrangements. The incoherent paranoia on ‘Bodies’ boasting panicky delivery and an incongruous chorus has the record’s most successful melody.

Robbie should embrace his madness and stop trying to resurrect the past. edward

Weezer

Yeasayer

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Even a superficial assessment of this album, from its pun on outmoded slang, to the red tracksuits donned by the band on the inner sleeve, prompts the conclusion that Weezer have failed to escape the 90s.

If the blatant nostalgia for a time when curtains referred to a hair style rather than drapery is self-knowing, retelling the same dweeby jokes that made their 1994 self-titled debut a cult hit, is decidedly facile coming from fully grown men. “There may come a day when we have nothing left to say”, Cuomo laments on the opening track: that day has long passed with songs such as ‘The Girl Got Hot and I’m Your Daddy’ now possessing the sinister edge of an excessively physical uncle.

Evoking high school parties and hormone rushes of first crushes, all of which one hopes are mere, mere memories for Cuomo and the gang, Raditude feels both inauthentic and infantile. tom keane

Yeasayer is set to drop a brand new album in February, but they’ve advanced a terrific teaser of a single with ‘Ambling Alp’, a release that has all the experimental joy of their debut album All Hour Cymbals yet showcases an exciting new feel and bold style of attack.

A stand up and fight anthem about the black American boxer Joe Louis battling Max Schmeling (an unwilling Nazi darling) and Primo Carnera (alias the ‘Ambling Alp’), the song has an energetic Ali shuffle and rousing vocals that get you worked up and ready for a scrap. The Memory Tapes and DJ Rupture remixes included with the single actually manage to amp up the dance and brawl of an already outstanding track.

If Yeasayer’s forthcoming LP Odd Blood is all the quality of this superb, unexpected release, we’re in for a stunning sophomore album from one of Brooklyn’s best bands. peter morelli

Raditude

henderson

ambling alp

Reviews Editor: Paul Smith

Reviews 25

Friday November 13th 2009

reviews@varsity.co.uk

www.varsity.co.uk

Arts Comment

Film and arts Bright Star

arts picturehouse

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“T

his is the first frock in Woolwich or Hampstead to have a triple-pleated mushroom collar”, says Fanny (Abbie Cornish) to Keats (Ben Whishaw) in one of many VERY FUNNY costumes. Jane Campion’s Bright Star takes a look at Keats’ life through his love affair with dressmaker Fanny Brawne, based on a biography written by Andrew Motion.

There is no doubt that this is very beautifully filmed, with sweeping seasonal changes, panning shots of romantic wanderings over Hampstead Heath, and intimate nuzzlings as Keats curls his louche legs and chiselled jaw around Fanny’s nooks and crannies. Swoon.

Despite taking a good fifteen minutes to get used to the ridiculousness of Fanny’s attire, the aesthetic of this film is light and sumptuous, and Campion has clearly opted for a subtle focus on nature and human nature, rather than letting loose with poetical passion. The scene in which Fanny and Keats follow young Toots after stealing their first kiss is reminiscent of a game of ‘Grandma’s Footsteps’. Whenever Toots turns to look, the recently officiated lovers freeze, and we can appreciate the immensity and fragility of this moment as it is paused and elongated.

However, this moment is fleeting, and suddenly we are expected to believe the couple are stuck in a yearning, aching, hopeless love for one another. Keats’ debt and consumption are tearing them apart, and yet it isn’t quite clear how they got together. Campion chooses to limit the appearance of sexuality to Mr Brown’s (Keats’

The Men Who Stare At Goats vue

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bout half-way through The Men Who Stare at Goats, it begins to dawn on you that this is a film that doesn’t know what it is. Is it a comedy or

over-protective Scottish mentor played by Paul Schneider) tryst with Abigail, the maid, but this serves to make Keats and Fanny’s affections seem super soft and sweetly superficial: there is only so much hand pressing from either side of a wall you can take. Indeed, Mr Brown’s actions with Abigail then stick out like a sore thumb. When Keats tells Mr Brown that they will send whoever made Abigail pregnant to the butchers, Mr Brown in top-to-toe tartan takes on a panto villain presence, and I find myself wanting to scream ‘he’s beeehiiind you’.

There are huge moments of grief and swathes of sincerity from all the leads that make Bright Star enjoyable viewing. A lot happens in this film, and you do develop sympathy for the characters. There are also vast snatches of poetry and letter reading, which will surely come in useful for any student wishing to brush up on their Romantic trivia.

But this was arguably the film’s greatest flaw: all too often it felt as though Campion was constructing

a film based around verse and documentation. It was brave and effective at times when the poetry and letters were recited aloud, but this was certainly over-done. Of course ‘Ode to a Nightingale’ is sad and dramatic, but I don’t want to feel paralysed and stuck in my seat when it is repeated over the ending credits.

I wish Campion had chosen to film half the story (preferably the second half) because some scenes felt rushed and clipped too short, and there was much I’d have liked to ‘muse’ over in the relationship’s build up. Keats tells Fanny, “there is a holiness to the heart’s affections”, but in Bright Star Campion never allows this sentiment to fully flourish from a caterpillar into a beautiful butterfly resting on Fanny’s bosom. The ‘butterfly scene’ in which Cornish seems momentarily and suddenly suicidal drowned in a sea of dead butterflies is priceless comedy: See the film if only for this, and for Whishaw’s apish but undeniable hotness. lauren cooney

Jane Campion’s Bright Star: Two Stars. And a half. a satire? If it’s a comedy, why is there this political overtone? And if it’s satire, why so ridiculous?

We follow the development of psychic soldiers. Men, who are trained to use their superpowers to detect the location of missing generals, non-lethally disarm combatants, and murder goats with their eyes. Lyn Cassady (George Clooney), a retired Jedi Warrior,

Is it worth your while to stare at the screen at Men Who Stare At Goats? Probably not.

is on a mission in Iraq, followed by the intrepid reporter Bob Wilton (Ewan McGregor). Along the way, we discover how the hippies infiltrated the army, why Angela Lansbury is an asset to military intelligence, and also about the hideous lengths to which American soldiers mistreat prisoners.

That’s right: it is a film with a serious message. When you’ve cast George Clooney and Kevin Spacey, it has to have one. But trying to make a point about torture in the midst of such outlandishness merely trivialises instead of satirising. No one was taken in by the opening statement, “More of this is true than you would believe.”

Of course, the film cannot be condemned because the concept is inappropriate. It can be condemned when it ruins the comedy. It was quite funny in parts. But once it turned into a lecture by a German explaining the antics of Charlie Chaplin, only those not already acquainted with the comic potential of spiking the water supply with LSD will be laughing by the end.

James sharpE

Fantastic Mr Box Office. The latest crop of films for the Peter Pan generation Alice Newell-Hanson

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f you love Karen O, if you know Futura bold from Helvetica, and if your other interests include plimsolls and self-conscious punctuation, then you’re probably excited about this year’s crop of kids films for adults. But, then again, who wouldn’t be? Fantastic Mr Fox was so good that it’s just as well Where The Wild Things Are is on its way to fill the void of excitement. Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland also fits the mould, promising a dark reinterpretation of a children’s classic. But, whereas Burton’s high-budget Disney production may appeal to a younger audience, autumn’s offerings are strategically marketing themselves to an older generation.

Originally planned for release in May 2008, Where the Wild Things Are was postponed by Warner Bros amidst concerns about its suitability. There were even rumours of a possible reshoot, threatening a projected $75 million. Given the pairing of director Spike Jonze and co-writer Dave Eggers, the film’s decidedly adult tone is unsurprising. Jonze’s previous projects have hardly been easygoing– witness 1999’s Being John Malkovich– and Eggers’ own background rules out a tale of conventional familial bliss. Most importantly, though, Maurice Sendak’s book is itself a chill exploration of childhood anger.

When asked if he thought Jonze’s film was too frightening for children, Sendak replied: “if [you] can’t handle it, go home.

Or wet your pants.” Whether or not the film is that frightening remains to be seen but Jonze’s screenplay has explicitly not shied

away from the less palatable themes of Sendak’s book: “I was just trying to make a movie that felt like being that age.”

Mr Fox’s family dynamic is also far from perfect. Dahl was never afraid of the dark. George Clooney’s all-singing, all-dancing hero is, at worst, an unforgivably bad father. This more realistic outlook on family life is, in part, what denies these films straightforward classification.

The trailer for Tim Burton’s Alice spells out a parallel movement away from the adult.

Yes, Johnny Depp is there with a maniacal grin. Yes, there are toadstools and eerily striped plants, but everything feels slightly more sugar-coated.

As the giant opening credit proclaims, adults will be in theatres to see Tim Burton’s latest film but this will be no Edward Scissorhands.

The entertainment industry is shifting towards the family market and this means a tactical rapprochement of the adult and children’s genres. The audience age range for these films will be drastically increased by their cult directors and highly-stylized production. Pitching their films to catch both their older fan base and a slice of the family market guarantees financial success: but are Jonze, Burton and Anderson being more calculating than their offbeat exteriors would suggest, and at what cost? For our generation, who grew up hardened by Watership Down, the creepier elements of these children’s films might be welcomed but they also dilute the output of more subtle adult cinema. It is perhaps the adults and not the children who are being talked down to.

The new King of the Box Office: The Child Who Never Grows Up

26 Theatre

View from the Groundlings

Friday November 13th 2009

The Wizard of Oz

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here’s nothing like a good bit of bacon in the morning. I’m pretty sure I am going to wake up every day this week with a big salivating smile, and some drool on my pillow. We gat A LOTTA meat for you: tasty prime hunks, and slabs of newly cut flesh. Whatever your tastes, especially if you are a veggie or fruitarian, can be catered for in the kitchen of Cambridge comedy and tragedy.

Firstly, the time is nigh for our Fresh Meat, who have been slaving away all term on two ADC Freshers’ shows, The Caucasian Chalk Circle and Black Comedy. Come and judge them, applaud them, and smile at them wisely, as they join the ranks of the Cambridge thespian cattlemarket.

If you fancy some homegrown chops then you should look no further than Tuesday at the ADC. Watch five suitably all-singing all-dancing moving meat-men cover a set of pop-classics.

This is Blueprint. According to manager, band member and general lad, Ed Stephenson, don’t miss out on the chance of seeing “Cambridge’s original boyband, strut their irrestistably cheesy stuff on the ADC stage for one night only, in their first ever ticketed public gig”. One night only and on the brink of selling out: if you want the opportunity of tearing off your underwear and flinging it in a man’s face without any risk of pregnancy, STI, or a slap, then you should probably queue for returns.

Equus is on at Pembrokeand it involves a naked man and a horse. Slap that back.

Veggies (and meat-lovers) head to the Judith E. Wilson studio to see Look Back in Anger. Free goji berries on the door. Finally, there is some more mentally meaty theatre on at Corpus, in the shape of Marvin’s Room. Director, Ellie Awford says rehearsals “have been very emotionally intense, often leaving the cast on that edge between bursting into tears or laughter.”

Features an ex-Pampers baby. lauren cooney

theatre@varsity.co.uk

Theatre adc mainshow

Cambridge Theatre

Theatre Editor: Lauren Cooney

www.varsity.co.uk

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hose of you old enough to remember walking into your College’s Halloween Bop last year to find that everyone had come as Heath Ledger’s Joker will understand. That is understand and empathise with what it was like to discover the cast of The Wizard of Oz with their faces smeared with red and white clown make up. Directed by Nick Waters, this musical was keen from the start to stand out as something different, even something dark.

Anyone unfamiliar with the story could do no better than watch Victor Flemming’s 1939 film version. The optimistic, escapist Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer movie, with its twee ‘there’s no place like home’ message, has a special place in countless hearts.

Waters makes it clear in a note in the programme that he chose not attempt “to replicate the iconic MGM production on stage”. This is an understandable decision – why try to emulate such an intimidating treasure? But it was also a risky one, given that a sizeable part of the audience to any Wizard of Oz show will have largely made the journey to the theatre just so they can hum along with the songs.

Present anything deviating too far from the expected menu, and the audience will be alienated.

Georgina Hunt was a solid but forgettable Dorothy. Still, her voice delivered what was required

Smoker adc theatre

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ime was when you knew where you were with Cambridge comedy. It was something the Footlights did and it involved a couple of chaps sitting by a desk and calling each other ‘Perkins’; it was bloody hilarious.

Now, with successful revue nights popping up at Wolfson and Selwyn and all over the shop, comedy in Cambridge is anyone’s game.

Last night’s Smoker was inevitably going to be a mixed bag because, well, that’s just the nature of the many-headed, many-limbed revue beast, isn’t it? Overall, though, the standard was pretty good. Keith Akushie kicked the evening off with some excellently crafted stand-up.

A wee skit about the nature of Jay-Z’s 99 problems brought the house down. Another stand-up that I thought particularly note-worthy was Dannish Babar, who displayed some incredible quick-wittedness, taking board game titles from the audience, then proving that each one stems from the grisly machinations of post-revolutionary France. He completely ruined Mousetrap for me.

for the songs; this was true of most of the cast. Robert Jacobs’ Scarecrow was idiosyncratic and endearing. His raspy delivery and subtle, jerky movements concealed an inexplicable lack of straw. Jonathan Padley’s lion, part thesp, part fashionista, was a highlight. Sara Boomsma perhaps took her job description rather too literally, and her Tin Woman had none of the character displayed by Jack Haley’s Tin Man in the MGM movie.

James Sharpe carried the production as the Wizard of Oz, together with Ben Kavanagh as the Wicked Witch of the West – yes, the clever reversal of gender norms was all in a day’s work for this

production. (Anyone who saw the kidnapped Dorothy strapped into a wheelchair will forgive me that jibe at the musical’s PC credentials). Sharpe’s disembodied voice alone exuded a palpable magnetism that made his relish for the part evident. But the fact that a guy behind a curtain with a microphone was able to upstage the main cast members did not reflect well on the production as a whole.

The puppet Munchkins designed

by Annie Brooks were unquestionably the highlight of the production, but even the engaging and initially hysterical scene featuring them dragged on considerably. Waters obviously realised in rehearsals that he was on to a

good thing.

All that is asked of a stage version of The Wizard of Oz is to let the beloved songs speak for themselves. Sadly, these were in the main drowned out by their own bleary backing music, to the extent that once or twice the singers stopped trying to compete.

Having the Lion cower behind a sign with the MGM logo on it was a nice touch. But the production spent too long hiding behind a homage to 1930s Hollywood, and too much effort imagining that it was “you know… like … dark”.

The spirit of the original was lost somewhere along the way. Walters should have kept to the yellow brick road. chris kerr

george woodhams

A rather tall, bearded chap called Pierre also deserves a mention. I’ve not seen him before but he really warmed the room up with some funnies after a particularly damp patch early on. One to look out for.

The sketches were, on the whole, actually quite good. There was a really funny sketch-sequence about the transition from the actual medieval mace to the mace spray that featured some sound character work from the cigar-sucking James Moran. Moran also featured in what to my mind was probably the evening’s strongest sketch, about a new Da Vinci Code film in which hero Robert Langdon confronts the mighty power of the, ahem, Anglican Church.

The evening finished on a high too, with what can only be described as a tweed-clad madman ranting to perplexingly hilarious effect about a copy of Madame Bovary he had inscribed on the back of an egg.

All in all the night was fairly solid but the schedule did have one or two boggy pools of lack-lustre. And, if I’m being honest, I’d say there were a few too many titters and not enough howlers to really beat down the contenders to the Footlights’ crown.nathan brooker

Pride and Prejudice arts theatre

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he insipidity and yet the noise; the nothingness and yet the self-importance of all these people.” As Toby Frow’s production of Pride and Prejudice reached its eightieth, interval-less minute, I was beginning to think that I could apply Miss Bingley’s famous remark to it, but several moments in the second Act save it from such a condemning.

To all you Austen-philistines, a rich man comes to town, a mother tries to marry her daughters to said rich man, rich man’s even richer, arrogant friend eventually wins the heart of heroine. There are scenes between the Bennet girls and their mother (Susan Hampshire) that are carried off very sweetly: the scene of Mrs Bennet’s hysteria following her daughter’s elopement is suitably touching, and the exchanges that Elizabeth Bennet (Katie Lightfoot) has with her father and with Lady Catherine de Bourgh maintain their respective needs for quiet

dignity and barely restrained fury.

Frow also combines an understated set with hints of elegance very effectively at times, with only a few picture frames, the odd chaise lounge and the wooden frame of a piano, the stage is mercifully uncluttered.

However, there are a lot of things going on in this production that make it...well, a bit weird. Promises of greatness are ruined by strange decisions: the eavesdropping and gasping of the ensemble during important conversations are bewildering, and key moments are subjected to unwelcome hammingup. Scenes are fast-forwarded to such an extent that the plot is spread thinly and the merging of scenes becomes ridiculous. The unwelcome arrival of the Collins in Act II is followed swiftly by Lydia Wickham’s arrival, Mr Bennet’s proposal, Lady Catherine’s arrival, and Mr Darcy’s snogging Lizzy, with barely a pause for breath.

It just smacks of a gratuitous farce: occasionally funny and endearing, but seeking cheap laughs and lacking subtlety. I wanted to love it, and if I pretend I’m not a geek I can see the good bits, but in truth I was just a bit underwhelmed. jemima middleton

guide to star ratings:  Kansas dust bowl  Rusty Tin man/woman  Average Auntie Em  Off to see the Wizard  Ruby Slippers

theatre@varsity.co.uk

www.varsity.co.uk

theatre What’s Wrong with Angry? adc lateshow

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t’s a brave, brave title. And a lot of people were keen to find out just what exactly was wrong with Angry, because this was the largest audience I’ve seen at a late show for a while.

The answer, unfortunately for them, was quite a bit. Patrick Wilde’s script reeks of First Play Syndrome, its worthy message preached by one-dimensional characters amidst a painfully unfunny script. It would have taken an ingenious production to pull it off, and Jacob Shephard’s direction didn’t hold that kind of compensation.

Daniel Radcliffe’s been the recent pin-up of naked school boys on stage, but here we’re back in 1992, pre-Harry Potter and pre-Sexual Offences Amendment Act of 2000, which finally ruled gay sex at 16 as legal. Sixteen-year-old Steven Carter has to deal with an age of consent stretching up to 21, alongside crass bullies and a crush on seemingly unattainable head boy John Westhead, who’s harbouring hidden desires of his own. Steven’s mum is determined that sex be ‘something beautiful’, and there’s certainly none of that here. This is a Basingstoke of toilet cubicle encounters and bigoted teachers intent on moulding their school boys into ‘gentlemen’. The exception is Hutton (Adam Lawrence), whose mentoring attempts led to soliloquies rendered banal by inexorable sincerity. He exclaimed ‘Bastards!’ a good dozen times,

Wolfson Howler wolfson bar

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uh duh. Duh duh. This is the sound of the Varsity editorial team, in a sinister move reminiscent of Ceausescu’s Romania, accompanying critics to every show this week, to make sure we are, erm, paying attention. Thankfully, my armed guard turned out to be rather nice, although I still envisaged perching nervously on the end of my chair, pen in hand and looking studious, and awaiting my impending death (as a journalist).

Fortuitous then, that Wolfson’s superb Club Room is both a reassuring stocker of Scampi Fries, and a venue perfectly conducive to stand-up: a low-ceilinged, softlylit affair, which reproduces the intimate setting of a comedy club to great effect. So it was perhaps unsurprising that many of the Cambridge-based warm-up acts started nervously.

After 15 minutes of imperious riffing from slick compère Ed Gamble, John Gallagher, lacking the same quick thinking, looked a

Theatre 27

Friday November 13th 2009

Theatre Editor: Lauren Cooney

entering the stage once again to find Steven victimised by thugs in blazers. Yawn.

A nice 90s tackiness was at play, but it was offset a little by the set’s cheap streaks. A lonely Jason Donovan poster is good; a half-painted bed base is not. And the same uncertainty applied to the music. There’s nothing like a blast of ABBA to raise the bitterest critic’s heart, but not when it stops playing several seconds before an actor turns off the stereo.

Still, laughter wasn’t only for technical bumps. Lowri Amies put in a great performance as Linda, Steven’s dumpy friend and deliverer of the best school disco rejection speech ever to be witnessed. Matt Kilroy’s bumbling Mr Carter, too, was hilarious

when walking in on Steven and Linda in a suggestive tangle, all awkward swaying and averted eyes. Steven, however, was just too grindingly obvious, a melodramatic stereotype of teen angst; James Frecknall’s comic timing seemed a perpetual beat out. He wasn’t helped by a plethora of the worst sexual innuendos ever to die on stage. “Don’t rub it in,” John mutters, during one lovers’ tiff.

“Why not?” Steven asks. “It’s good for the complexion.” Just think back to your primary school disco, and you’ll know exactly What’s Wrong With Angry. Vengaboys were playing and teachers were standing in the corners; there were some good dramatic moments, but the embarrassments weren’t quite worth it. abigail dean katherine waters

Creative Writing Competition

Each week we set a different creative writing exercise. The people who submit the running-up and winning pieces have their work printed in the next week’s Varsity, and the winner is rewarded with two free tickets to an ADC Theatre show.

Week 6: Free Verse Winner: Untitled

by Leila Morad around you the city climbs skywards, how ironicI grasp for something concrete.

Bent to the light that guilds silhouettes a glint in the eye built on the old frowning on the past compelled by the wind down streets that shift sideways into severed space time is expensive effervescent, you overtook me into the past tense. you flew through bay windows that faced out to seathe disarray of life unspent ahead, deepening the distance.

little in awe. But his Irish brogue soon revved up to deliver musings on all things prophylactic (is ‘protection: for a new generation’ really the best slogan for a safe sex campaign?) and he finished with confidence.

Footlights regular Lucien Young’s experience in front of the microphone was telling: his well-rehearsed novel inspired by the North, exploring important questions like ‘Who lives there? Where is it? Why is it?’ was well-delivered and received. But don’t worry, he’s from Newcastle, ‘so it’s ironic’. This somewhat grating self-awareness was totally absent in easily the best support act of the night: oft-improvised and fantastically original comedy from Daran Johnson and Liam Williams. It would be difficult to pick a highlight from their deliciously

shambolic stage act, encompassing punch lines without jokes, and Johnson’s hilarious chorus member bereft of the rest of his cast. Previous headliners of the Howler have included That Guy From The Inbetweeners (Greg Davis), and That Guy From The Ricky Gervais Podcasts (Robin Ince); organisers have continued in much the same way, with That Girl From That Mitchell and Webb Look, Jo Neary. In a 40 minute set primarily composed of characters, there are some astonishingly funny moments: a presentation on sex toys from a nervous secretary and a scarily accurate Bjork impression are among the highlights. But while the setting may be staunchly comedy club, Neary’s fragmented sketches would ironically be much more suited to a Smoker. alisdair pal

a current undercuts life itselfstill waters turn turbid, and the tide changes.

You- empty and deflated and- again asking if it was true.

Runner Up: Spaces

by Tim Waters

Second Runner Up: Wardrobe

by James Coghill

Next week’s competition: Prose Poems. Prose Poems take the practices of poetry – its imagery, rhythms and vocabulary – and print them in the form of prose.

Poets as various as Baudelaire, Walter Pater, Frank O’Hara and Geoffrey Hill have excelled in writing them. Follow their lead and do the same. Good luck!

Send submissions to Eliot D’Silva at literary@varsity.co.uk no later than 9am on Monday, November 9th for the chance to win two tickets to the following week’s ADC main show, and see your work printed in our next issue.

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Games & puzzles 3

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21 Rejecting part of intestine, having ingested second breakfast? (6) 22 Penguins, perhaps, as brides (3,5) 23 One of the points of wearing shoes? (8) 24 Improvement in exercise technique (4-2)

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11 Wrapped in spreadable paste, distributed drugs to a type of student (12) 13 Inspire the French to overcome classification (6) 15 Element of quick cricket match, in total (6) 18 ‘All along the Watchtower’ beginning with opening tempo (3,5,4)

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Teacherly pig caged with love, in a way (9) Undue, and brought together with one exchanged for a homophone thereof (8) Gather queen into cabinet (6) Mode of transport and a larger mode of transport’s several groups of these, perhaps (8) Matter which Shakespeare might have said on Sue’s arrival? (6) Fund, perhaps, which might have to be cut down (5) One entering into business with verbal assault (6) American pissed off, having heard anal concern (6,3) I get less fanciful than poets (8) Comprehensively documented me following men, perhaps (8) Sounds like gassy love might be a test of stamina (6) Scramble lets us scrap (6) Clia is exceptionally revealing to talk to (6) Gambles with a part of the local infrastructure (5)

Kakuro

The object is to insert the numbers in the boxes to satisfy only one condition: each row, column and 3x3 box must contain the digits 1 through 9 exactly once.

Fill the grid so that each run of squares adds up to the total in the box above or to the left. Use only numbers 1-9, and never use a number more than once per run (a number may reoccur in the same row in a separate run).

8 2 4 5 9 1 1 2 6 3 2 4 5 4 9 3 5 6 7 7 5 2 6 9 1 7 5 3 7 8 2 4 3 9 6 7

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Set by Hisashi

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The Varsity Scribblepad

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Answers to last issue’s crossword (no. 513) Across: 7 Nevada, 8 Neutrino, 10 Electron, 11 Lepton, 12 Proton, 13 Sublimes, 15 Dawdle, 17 Neutron, 20 Bird flu, 21 Hermes, 22 Gandhi, 24 Namesake, 25 Jiujitsu, 26 Grisly. Down: 1 Well-bred, 2 Watchtower, 3 Hadron, 4 Onanism, 5 Gullible, 6 Crap, 9 Niobe, 14 Internship, 16 Leftists, 18 Overkill, 19 Quantum, 20 Bhaji, 21 Homage, 23 Dojo.

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www.puzzlemix.com / MADE BY GARETH MOORE

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no. 514

www.puzzlemix.com / MADE BY GARETH MOORE

Varsity Crossword

Sport Editors: Will Caiger-Smith and Olly West

Sport 29

Friday November 13th 2009

sport@varsity.co.uk

www.varsity.co.uk

Crossed sticks in frustrating draw » Hockey Blues’ promotion hopes dented despite high-scoring game CAMBRIDGE

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Dan Quarshie Sports Reporter The Blues experienced another setback in their promotion push last Sunday, only reaching a draw with third-placed Crostyx in a ten-goal thriller. Coming off the back of two convincing wins, and placed second in the division, the Cambridge side went into the game as favourites.

Victory, however, was not forthcoming, and though credit must be given to the tenacious opposition, a handful of pivotal umpiring decisions ultimately proved decisive.

The game started at a ferocious tempo, and the direct approach from Crostyx saw the ball occasionally breach the Cambridge defence.

However, it was the Blues’ fast passing game that brought the first goal, as Lee found the bottom corner to finish off a slick attacking move.

Crostyx were not to be silenced, and

their influential centre forward soon responded with two goals in quick succession to leave the Blues trailing behind. The ensuing period brought Cambridge three penalty corners, two of which were duly converted

by Saunders. The third, however, was a source of controversy; a powerful Madden strike, blocked en route to goal by the defender’s body, inexplicably led to the award of a Crostyx free hit.

Having taken control of possession in the second half, the Blues conceded an early short corner from a counter attack and were punished by the Crostyx talisman who flicked high into the roof of the net to level the score at three each. Once more, Cambridge upped their game: Parkes found the net with a low and hard shot from the top of the circle, bringing a fourth goal, and vice captain Bell promptly set up Lee for a fifth.

Unfortunately, the game was to take a few more unexpected turns.

Defender Sampson was yellowcarded for disrupting play, giving the opposition the gift of an extra man: the resulting pressure led to the award of a penalty corner for an adjudged deliberate foul, and the Crostyx flicker netted a fourth. Moments later, Sampson,

having only recently rejoined the action, received another yellow card for an alleged stick tackle.

As the game wound to a close, the Blues retreated into their own half, Crostyx pressing for the equaliser.

The match culminated in the award of a Crostyx penalty stroke, which their hitman duly dispatched to make it five for him, five for Crostyx and five for Cambridge.

Captain Jackson spoke of the side’s disappointment:

“We now face an uphill struggle to retain a chance of promotion, although it was encouraging that we were able to score so many goals today, both from open play, and set pieces.

With a focused week of training we’ll be ready to go again, and we look forward to facing Bishop’s Stortford this coming Saturday.”

Simon Sampson and Nick Parkes fight for possession against Crostyx

EMILY MATTHEWS

EMILY MATTHEWS

» Losing streak continues for hockey girls after another agonising defeat

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WEST HERTS

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Varsity Sport

The ball slips under Vicky Evans’ pad to concede a penalty

The Ladies Hockey Blues continued on their losing streak against West Herts, a team over which they demonstrated superior technical ability, pace, fitness, and determination, but by which they were outplayed in organisation and finish.

Despite having lost their number one runner to a dislocated shoulder the previous week, Cambridge’s

containment of set pieces was impressive. Even as West Herts besieged Cambridge keeper Vicky Evans, the Blues looked sure-footed in defence, although their inability to then distribute led to frustration among the front three, whose dynamic runs went unrewarded.

It was with fifteen minutes to spare in the first half that West Herts were finally rewarded for their pressure, drilling a short corner slip into the left hand corner. This was shortly followed by a second as the umpire awarded a penalty stroke after Evans unintentionally obstructed play, the ball slipping under her pad.

For a moment, Cambridge looked like they might come back into the game after Rachel Quick picked up a beautifully measured ball on the top

of the D and was unlucky to miss the far post by inches; however, after a another West Herts strike found the net just before half time, such hopes seemed unfounded.

The second half followed almost exactly as the first: Jess Hume was denied by a quick-footed keeper, and sustained pressure on the West Herts goal did not have the same results as the opposition who managed a further three in the second half.

Returning after being sin-binned for a cynical tackle, Bec Langon found the goal after a well worked string of passes and a searching cross from Jess Hume.

Unfortunately, such inspiration was patchy for Cambridge, who were ultimately let down by a lack of polish in their distribution and finishing.

The Anorak Football

Men’s Hockey

Division 1: Churchill 1-3 Emma Downing 1-9 Old Leysians Jesus 3-5 Robinson St John’s 1-1 Churchill OLD LEYSIANS ROBINSON DOWNING JOHN’S EMMANUEL CHURCHILL JESUS

P W D 3 3 0 3 2 1 4 2 1 4 1 1 2 1 0 4 0 1 2 0 0

Cuppers (Round 1) Queens’ 13-2 Pembroke

L 0 0 1 2 1 3 2

GF 25 15 10 7 4 3 3

GA GD Pts 2 23 9 7 8 7 14 -4 7 10 -3 4 4 0 3 21 -18 1 9 -6 0

Cuppers Round 1: CUCY 0-7 St John’s Girton 2-0 Magdalene Homerton 5-0 Clare Hall Clare 2-4 Long Road Trinity Hall 2-4 Darwin Peterhouse 3-7 Churchill Christ’s 2-5 Emmanuel CCCC 4-2 Robinson Corpus Christi 0-9 Trinity Caius 2-1 Queens’ King’s 1-2 Selwyn Fitzwilliam 5-1 Pembroke Byes: Catz, Sidney, Downing and Jesus

Modern Pentathlon CUMPC had a flying start to the year with victory in the Novice Varsity match, beating Oxford 2464 – 2228. Cambridge, the hosts, posted the top 4 scores with Brad Dixon and Laura Plant, both experienced pentathletes, closely followed by novices Matt Commin and Hennie Dixon.

Athletics

Cambridge ran out comfortable winners in the annual Freshers’ Varsity at Wilberforce Road as a poor Oxford ceded to a promising Cambridge squad. Lizzie Thompson took home a fair amount of silverware, winning the 400m and 100m hurdles, 200m sprint and high jump.

Christian Roberts took home the prize for the men’s 400m hurdles, as did Tom Elton in the discus. The final score in the men’s competition was 114-76, the girls equally impressive with a tally of 110-75.

Queens’ Ergs

Blues women fail to break the curse CAMBRIDGE

Sport in Brief

Round 2 draw: Catz vs John’s Girton vs Homerton Long Road vs Sidney Darwin vs Downing Churchill vs Emmanuel CCCC vs Trinity Caius vs Selwyn Fitzwilliam vs Jesus League Division 1: (not played in week 3) Catz 1-7 Jesus

Rugby Union

Division 1: (Week 3) Girton 17-22 Jesus John’s 89-0 Catz Downing 15-10 Trinity ST JOHN’S TRINITY JESUS DOWNING GIRTON ST CATHARINE’S

P W D 5 5 0 5 3 0 4 3 0 4 3 0 5 0 0 5 0 0

L 0 2 1 1 5 5

F A D Pts 258 8 250 20 102 83 19 14 147 60 87 13 73 44 29 13 41 174 -133 5 15 267 -252 5

Your weekly guide to College sport

There were victories for the men of Fitzwilliam and the women of Anglia Ruskin in Queens’ Ergs on Tuesday night. The everimproving Fitz team, boosted in recent years by a redesigned boathouse, defiantly withheld challenges from Wolfson, Churchill and John’s. Meanwhile, the Catz women let slip a strong advantage to allow ARU to clinch the title.

Rugby Union

In their first away match of the season, the Blues lost 38-20 to London Scottish. Missed opportunities and a failure to execute were what separated the two sides in a frustrating defeat for Cambridge, who will look to extend occasional patches of promising play to the full 80 minutes in time for the Varsity match.

Absolutely nothing to do with Cambridge A tense weekend of fixtures saw Sabadell Femení head to the top of the ‘Divisió d’honor’ of the Catalan FA’s women’s indoor 5-a-side football tournament as they overcame close rivals Les Corts UBAE. In the men’s league, Askaxu Tril. ler, named after Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’, were the first and only team to take all three points on the opening day.

Finally, Varsity is glad to announce that communicative relations have been reestablished with Real Santander. Following last week’s report on the Colombian football club’s secrecy, the misunderstanding has been resolved. Full reports from Àlvaro Gómez Hurtado will resume next week.

30 Sport

Friday November 13th 2009

Sport Editors: Will Caiger-Smith and Olly West

www.varsity.co.uk

If St John’s’ domination of college rugby is to end, we must look at the root of the problem Ed Thornton

W

hile at Fitz, as at most colleges, we struggle to find fifteen players week in week out, the Red Boys of St John’s College Rugby Club not only have enough for two full teams but their strongest team would be made up solely of players who represent the University at some level. They have won the league for the last eight years and Cuppers for the last five and this year could see another double for the boys in red and white; they have already thrashed closest rivals Jesus. The last time John’s lost a match was in 2006 when an under-strength side was defeated by Pembroke.

This split between John’s and the rest of the University sucks the fun out of what should be a competitive league and makes College rugby less enjoyable for the John’s players and their apparent opposition alike.

Indeed, Rob Wells, Red Boy for nine years, admitted that “you start to feel like there is no upside anymore. If you win no one is surprised but the next time John’s lose will be gutting”. Who is to blame for this unfortunate situation?

The bitter, jealous side of every College rugby player in the University secretly hopes that St John’s are somehow cheating the system

to feed their hungry rugby squad and that they will be found out and stripped of their bulging trophy cabinet. Surely it is the fault of the admissions tutors at St John’s, letting in applicants based solely on their prowess on the field and ignoring their more academic but less physically gifted counterparts, right?

Yet the picture of their success is not so straightforward and there are no signs that applicants swimming in sporting achievements have any advantage over those who have never stepped foot on a rugby pitch.

Dr Helen Watson, the admissions tutor at St John’s, said that sporting

ability was “irrelevant” to an application and added “admissions decisions are solely driven by considerations of academic excellence and potential”.

More pertinently, a huge number of the best rugby players apply to St John’s. Over half the Red Boys asked in a Varsity questionnaire had played rugby at or above county standard before making their application. Part of the reason for this is that good players are aware of the College’s rugby record: two thirds of the team said rugby was a factor in their decision to apply to the College and over a quarter admitted it was the major factor.

sport@varsity.co.uk

Add to this the fact that St John’s has a high proportion of private and public school students, who tend to have a stronger rugby playing tradition, and also a large number of students in traditional rugby playing subjects. Helen Watson pointed out a high proportion of engineers, for example, and indeed only 22% of the team are studying arts subjects.

Given this, with a yearly intake of 175 freshers, there are bound to be a few top class players.

It is also undoubtedly true that playing in a highly skilled squad helps an individual excel, giving the Red Boys the edge in training up potential stars. One team member called it a “self fulfilling prophecy” in which a high standard of rugby attracts more players who subsequently improve.

The uncomfortable truth is that John’s have not gained their position at the top by improving beyond any other College, but that the rest

of us have taken a significant step backwards. Referee Tony Kennedy remembers a time, only fifteen years ago, when College rugby was good enough and prestigious enough to attract four hundred spectators per match.

Kennedy said of St John’s that “it’s not their fault - it’s everyone else’s failure.” In today’s Cambridge, where academic standards are all that matter, the level of College rugby has fallen. If we want to reverse this trend and reclaim a sporting tradition that goes back for centuries we must recognise that St John’s are a symptom of the modern problem and not its cause.

Within Cambridge we can do nothing but work hard on and off the field to promote college sport. This is the only way to draw the best rugby-playing applicants away from St John’s and regain a healthy and competitive league.

Dream Team Potential John’s Cuppers side: 1. Blues* (Alex Cheetham) 2. U21s (Chris Hall) 3. U21s (Mike Shephard) 4. U21s (Charles Baird) 5. U21s (Andrew Barrett) 6. LXs (Richard Lum) 7. U21s (Tom Stanton) 8. LXs (Rob Wells) 9. U21s (Ben Wilson) 10. Blues (Fred Burdon) 11. U21s (Mathonwy Thomas) 12. Blues (Sandy Reid) 13. U21s (Lloyd Rickard) 14. U21s (Shao-Chun Lin) 15. Blues (Ilia Cherezov) *denotes highest level played. The LXs is the University 2nd team.

TIM JOHNS

Women wipe the floor with Woodbridge » Cambridge’s female footballers take no prisoners in full-scale massacre at Fenner’s CAMBRIDGE

5

W’BRIDGE

1

Frankie Brown Sports Reporter Cambridge’s female footballers pulled off another impressive performance to destroy Woodbridge Town in a 5-1 victory on Sunday. A besieged Woodbridge simply had no response to the dominance of the Cambridge midfield, and were seemingly chasing shadows for the majority of the game as the Blues ran riot, scoring five excellent goals, including two from debutant Romy Trigg-Smith.

Despite a frantic start, the early pressure from Cambridge did not produce the seemingly inevitable goal, with several near misses and some athletic work from the Woodbridge keeper keeping them at bay.

With fifteen minutes gone however, patient build-up play around the box was finished off crisply by TriggSmith to put Cambridge 1-0 up. The visitors found it difficult to contain

this persistence in attack, particularly from Byrne on the right-hand side, who won several corners for her side from which they were at first unable to capitalise. They had to wait until the half-hour mark for the next breakthrough, which again resulted from some excellent play by Byrne, to put through Trigg-Smith who coolly slotted the ball home.

Whenever the visitors managed to get some possession, they were quickly closed down, allowing Cambridge to resume their assault and an almost unbroken presence in their opponents’ half. After a few more narrow misses and one shot cleared off the line, a third goal was added on the stroke of half-time, as some good link-up play was neatly finished off

by Trigg-Smith.

The contest essentially over, Cambridge emerged somewhat complacent after the break. The passing became untidy, as Cambridge were content to cruise along, and they were duly punished ten minutes into the half by a long-range effort from the Woodbridge captain. This seemed to provide the impetus the Blues needed, who suddenly regained their focus, and began to dominate

possession and territory once more.

With their coach urging them on from the sidelines, they continued to surge upfield, and it was only their finishing that let them down, as Byrne continued to work tirelessly

on the wing. At last a fourth goal was added, as a neat one-two put through captain Leesa Haydock, who found the net. With time running out, Kate Robinson scored a fine individual goal with a superb strike from the

edge of the penalty area, rounding off an excellent performance.

Against strong opposition, this will have been a very satisfying win for Leesa Haydock and her team, and especially for Maisie-Rose Byrne, who was deservedly named woman of the match. Given that Woodbridge were sitting near the top of the league, Cambridge should have nothing to fear from anybody if they continue to play with such a high level of fluency.

Cambridge University AFC (4-4-2) Goals: Trigg-Smith (2), Winslow, Haydock, Robinson Subs: Watson (Winslow), Bellfield (Trigg-Smith)

HAENZI

GRIFFITHS

BYRNE

MURPHY HOLLINGSWORTH ELDRIDGE

HAYDOCK (C)

ROBINSON

Goalscorer Kate Robinson takes on the Woodbridge Town defence

TIM JOHNS

TRIGG-SMITH WAINWRIGHT

WINSLOW

Sport Editors: Will Caiger-Smith and Olly West

Sport 31

Friday November 13th 2009 www.varsity.co.uk

sport@varsity.co.uk

CUAFC clinch a draw against Bedford » Blues’ winning streak comes to an end after first half errors give away two easy goals CAMBRIDGE

2

BEDFORD

2

Vince Bennici Sports Reporter For this week’s league clash with Bedford, three changes were made to a squad that delivered an impeccable performance the previous week.

Fresher Ross Broadway, who has showed great promise for both sides, earned his first start for the Blues, while striker Aki Laakso returned to the set-up in place of the injured Kerrigan, and Max Wolke saw his hard work and fine form in training rewarded with his maiden call-up.

With the talismanic Stock ruled out due to illness, Matt Amos was drafted in to partner Laakso in attack. Amos’ ‘streamline’ figure and fitness were questioned by squad members assembled on the sideline, Burrows stating that when he asked Amos whether he had done any running since recovering from his head injury the reply was, “not even for the bus”. James Day looked to be in

better shape than during Sunday’s Old Boys’ Game, when the defender was hauled off early on as the alcohol from Saturday’s reunion meal took its toll.

The first half was a scrappy affair, Baxter’s low free-kick on the edge of the area giving the Blues an early lead which they were unable to properly build on. The Blues struggled with organisation, the fluid 4-5-1 system adopted by Bedford causing Cambridge a number of problems defensively, while in attack the final pass remained evasive. The passing was sporadic and inconstant; standin skipper Hartley’s “must have a winner Blues!” call at every goal-kick was the only thing which the Blues did with any consistency in the firsthalf.

As the half unfolded the Blues started to battle harder, but a lapse in concentration allowed Bedford back into the game before the break, Gwyther’s uncharacteristic hesitation allowing the Bedford striker to beat keeper Ferguson to the ball. It was clear that changes needed to be made at half-time, especially after an early looping volley crept past the finger-tips of Ferguson and left the Blues trailing. Johnson was forced to ignore his groin strain as he replaced Amos in attack, with Burrows also

The Sporting World

T

Week 6: Colombia

he first thing that came to mind as a Brit entering the bolera (bowling alley), venue of bolo criollo (literally Creole bowling), the centre of sporting and social culture in the Santander region of Colombia, is just how much success one built in London could have.

Bolo is perfect for your average British sportsman: it requires the brute force and learned subtle skill of an experienced Sunday League footballer; it has the feel of a game of darts down the pub with your mates; it is a chance for the village cricketer to find a use for his occasional off-breaks; and, more importantly, a beer in your hand is a necessity.

The game involves launching a heavy metal ball (bola) underarm to the other end of a sandy gravel track to knock down three wooden sticks placed in a line, one in front of the other, facing the thrower at a distance which typically depends upon space available but usually is at least the length of a cricket pitch. Yet before you think this seems like a budget version of tenpin bowling, the bola must land within a certain area a metre or so in front of the wicket, as it is most easily described to a Brit.

Your best chance of knocking down this wicket is from the side, rebounding off the wooden board behind it, meaning rolling your fingers round the bola to have it

spin in and gaining as much height as possible in order to get a decent grip on the ground as it lands. This leads to signs announcing fines of 5000 pesos (about three beers) for hitting the fragile-looking corrugated-iron roofs which cover the target.

It also means a torrid time for the garriteros. These brave souls return the bola, tidy up the target, and have the important task of announcing how many sticks were felled, but they spend most of their time dodging wayward (and by the end of the night they really are wayward) attempts from less professional players. My shout of ‘fore’ was not appreciated as I came inches from testing the strength of the hardhats – their

taking to the field as the Blues desperately attempted to reinvigorate themselves.

An anxious final fifteen saw Wolke introduced, ‘Ze German’ making an almost instant impact as he efficiently

poked the bobbling ball home from about a yard. Jubilation and relief surged through the Cambridge squad on and off the pitch, the intense pressure put on Bedford during the last half-hour finally paying off.

WILL CAIGER-SMITH

With the squad desperate to win promotion a single point was not an ideal result; however, as Gwyther rightly said after the game, “if you can’t win, don’t get beaten”. The fight and desire shown to get back into the game displayed a tenacity and team unity which bodes well for the rest of the season. However, as Johnson said: “We shouldn’t have been in that situation in the first place.” The Blues will have the opportunity to right this next Wednesday as they face Bedford again, this time in the cup: hopefully they can do it within 90 minutes.

Cambridge University AFC (4-4-2) Goals: Baxter, Wolke Subs: Burrows (Broadway), Wolke (Rutt), Michael Johnson (Amos)

FERGUSON

MARK JOHNSON GWYTHER

RUTT

BROADWAY

AMOS

DAY

MAYNARD

HARTLEY

BAXTER

LAAKSO

Michael Johnson is closed down after an impressive run through the Bedford defence

only protection.

Yet the beauty of bolo criollo lies in its sociability. A high number of boleras are suspiciously close to university campuses; many a top player has refined their skills pre and post-lectures, often beginning worryingly early in the morning and resulting in frequent naps in class. Hundreds of organised tournaments take place in the same spirit despite some intense rivalries, but above all this is a night out. Lanes are not paid for by time – as long as the drinks or food are flowing, bowling is usually free.

My entrepreneurial plans made in the hazy mist of yet another lost match (do not begin to accept bets from the locals, beer does not improve your aim despite what you might think at the time) have hit a major snag, however: how do I get past the Council Health and Safety Officer? OLLY WEST

An unenviable job: the garriteros put their lives on the lines at Bolo Club San Lorenzo

Victory on ice in Cardiff » Ice hockey Blues recover to clinch win CAMBRIDGE 10

CARDIFF

7

Varsity Sport Facing the tough Redhawks from the Cardiff University, the Men’s Blues ice hockey team proved their pedigree on Sunday evening with a 10-7 win in a hard-fought match.

The long journey to Wales was made especially sweet for Soohong Park, whose solid goaltending earned him not only his first victory in a Cambridge jersey but also the man of the match honours.

Park faced a total of 47 shots over three periods of work but was more than up to the task, making several high-quality saves against an aggressive Cardiff squad who were searching for their second victory of the year.

The Welsh team came out strong against the Blues in the first period, throwing a number of bone-crushing body checks. Cardiff skated hard in an attempt to capitalise on the fact that the Blues were playing their second game in three nights and had put up with a four hour bus journey to arrive at the match.

This was perhaps a factor early on as the Light Blues struggled to

find their skating legs. Indeed, the away side soon found themselves in trouble when defenceman Teal Bondaroff and winger Owen Randlett took successive minor penalties for crosschecking and roughing respectively.

As a result, Cardiff quickly found themselves with a 3-1 lead after the first five minutes of action. Wanting to stamp their authority as the home side, they continually drove the net and picked up loose rebounds.

The rest of the first period was a entirely different story, however. A late rally from Cambridge saw them reverse the scoreboard before the second period after a swift succession of goals by Graham Courtright, Dan Tavana, and Andrew Buddle took the games to 4-3.

Rough play continued to be a feature after the restart and Blues forward Taylor Burns was given a major penalty and game misconduct for fighting with a Cardiff player after a fierce battle in front of the net.

Blues assistant captain and offensive leader Peter Morelli set up two of the first period goals and went on to score three goals himself while Tavana, Buddle, Kevin Musselman, and Adrian Camacho-Fielding continued the attack as Cambridge took control of the game and held on for an impressive victory.

The Blues will have to wait to extend their winning ways until November 21st when they face-off against Cardiff at Peterborough in a what should be an exciting rematch.

32 SportS

Friday November 13th 2009

Sport Editors: Will Caiger-Smith and Olly West

www.varsity.co.uk

Women footballers demolish Woodbridge in 5-1 victory at Fenners

sport@varsity.co.uk

SPORT

Footballp31

Bowling & Beer: the ultimate combination in Colombia

Columnp31

World of Hurt for Oxford women

» Woman of the match Georgie Hurt nets five goals as Cambridge demolish Dark Blues

EMILY MATTHEWS

CAMBRIDGE 10 OXFORD

4

Tom Woolford Sports Reporter BUCS Southern Premier League leaders Cambridge came from behind in impressive style to defeat secondplaced Oxford 10-4, maintaining their 100% winning record. After a sluggish start, Cambridge gradually upped the tempo during the first half before an under-fire Oxford ceded to sustained attack in the second, Light Blue talisman Georgie Hurt (below right) taking five of Cambridge’s ten goals.

Cambridge dominated possession in the early stage of the match but even after some eight minutes of continuous possession in and around the twelvemetre fan they could only muster a limp shot that barely rolled to the Oxford keeper. Thirty seconds later and Oxford had opened the scoring with a brazen counterattack that made a mockery of Cambridge’s early wariness.

Cambridge tried the patient approach again from the restart and continued to frustrate with good

ball distribution behind the goal, searching for the perfect pass that never really presented itself. But following an Oxford counter-attack that this time broke down without a shot on target, Cambridge’s defence launched a long pass some 80 yards to their captain, Ellie Walshe, who had lost her marker. After collecting the pass and spinning inside the last defender, she was fouled. With ample space all around her for the restart, she fired low to pull Cambridge level mid-way through the first half.

Cambridge’s breakthrough thus came through a rushed ‘route one’ approach rather than the slow buildup they had so far employed.

Four minutes later, another pedestrian Cambridge build-up was punished by Oxford who found themselves with an unmarked attacker on the edge of the arc. At this point Georgie Hurt seemed to take the game into her own hands; rather than dithering on the edge of the fan, she made her strength tell as she twisted and turned her way past three defenders and unleashed a shot past a helpless Oxford goalkeeper.

With the score at 2-2 Oxford were cruelly denied taking the lead again after a pair of shots hit the wood-work within a minute of each other. Cambridge made their lucky break count with a clever assist from Ellie Walshe, who scooped a high ball to last year’s other co-captain, the tall Gen Gotla, who collected and shot in one fell swoop to ensure Cambridge were in

front going into half-time.

Gotla started the second half as she had ended the first, netting herself a second goal, before being sin-binned for the less glorious contribution of a violent body-check on an oncoming Oxford attacker. The ensuing free shot was converted by Oxford, who completed their comeback shortly after as their blocked shot somehow managed to creep just over the goal line. Despite a conference between the two referees, the goal stood and the game was once more balanced at 4-4.

The level scores injected the urgency that a cruising Cambridge needed, and Hurt once again showed her class with a nimble-footed dash into the fan that confounded Oxford’s defence and gave Cambridge the lead once more. Walshe and Hurt then exchanged lightning-quick passes to give the latter the chance to complete her hat-trick. Cambridge’s two-goal lead restored, it became apparent that the next goal would be crucial.

And it was Cambridge, now threatening in every attack, who took it, with a neat pass to Laura Plant who planted the ball firmly in the bottom right hand corner.

A desperate Oxford now committed women and energy in attack, but despite their best efforts they were ill-disciplined and not selective enough in their shots. Hurt duly added her fourth and snaked through from the right hand side for her last.

But it was the captain’s second goal that was arguably the Blues’ finest as Walshe burst through a narrow gap between two Oxford defenders and scored from a tricky angle and reasonable distance to wrap up the 10-4 victory.

Captain Ellie Walshe was delighted

Captain Ellie Walshe darts past a distressed Dark Blue defender with the performance of her team: “This was a brilliant team performance. The freshers played really well, especially Alana Livesey and Laura Plant. And our experienced players and were so important to the team as well.” She warned, however, that they couldn’t take their form for granted looking forward to the Varsity match in February: “It will

be harder. It tends to be quite a level playing field.” On her excellent second-half performance, Georgie Hurt explained, “I got annoyed because I couldn’t get them in the first half, so I was definitely going to get them in the second. It’s always fun beating Oxford.” Let’s hope the same can be achieved in Oxford next February.