The Mother Side of God

THE MOTHER SIDE OF GOD John 14:15-21; Isaiah 66:13 Theme of the Month Intimacy and Family

Rev. Dr. Jeffrey Sharp

Lead Pastor, English Congregation Vancouver Chinese Baptist Church, Vancouver, British Columbia

Sunday Sermon for 9 March 2010

Scripture Passage John 14:15-21; Isaiah 66:13

"If you love me, keep my commands. 16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— 17 the Spirit of truth.

The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. 18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. 19 Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. 20 On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. 21 Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. Anyone who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them."

15

Isaiah 66:13

[For thus says the Lord:] As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you;…

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Today is the day when we honor Moms. See if anyone here recognizes this Mom: You stand up to take pictures at your child’s school play or performance even after they’ve asked people not to.

You insist your child wear a sweater when you’re cold.

You tell your daughter how much prettier she looks with her hair out of her eyes.

You tell your son how much better he would look if he pulled those pants up.

You hear yourself say things like, “Your face will freeze like that,” and “If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?”

There’s a used Kleenex stuffed up your shirtsleeve.

You spend your vacation wondering if you left the iron turned on.

Your daughter says smugly that she’ll never be anything like you.

Sound like anyone you know?

Our text is very appropriate for today. In some translations of verse 18, Jesus says: “I will not leave you comfortless; I will come to you.” The TNIV and many modern translations have Jesus say, “I will not leave you orphaned or as orphans. . .” Both renderings of the text sound like Mother’s Day text to me. I don’t want to be guilty of over-generalizing, but when most of us think of being comforted, do we think of our Moms or our Dads?

A survey asked boys who they would be most likely to confide in if they had a problem, and about 23 percent said their father. The remaining 77 percent said they would confide in their mother.

Citizen (July 2002, p. 12), a publication from Focus on the Family, reported an interesting story about the online auction of a "mother's touch."

Dan Baber honored his mother by posting an auction on eBay titled, "Best Mother in the World." The winning bidder would receive an e-mail from his mom that Baber promised would "make you feel like you are the most special person on the Earth."

How did people respond to Baber's offer? "During the auction's seven-day run, 42,711 people— enough to fill most baseball stadiums—took a look. Ninety-two bid, pushing the price from a $1 opening to a $610 closing."

The author of the article concludes with these words: “It's interesting how many are willing to pay for something most mothers give for free.”

Now, don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of Dads who are doing a great job of comforting their children, but in the majority of cases, for comfort, for support, for understanding, we think of Mom. I think it is like that in most places in the world. Of course, there is the biological tie between mother and child that fathers don’t have, but I also think that in most places, the culture or the way many men are brought up, work against fathers being affectionate or comforting.

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They aren’t allowed in some places or even taught how to show their emotions. They are to be strong, not emotional!

Fortunately, for most of us, our culture, our Christian culture to be sure, but our modern culture as well reminds us who are male that it is okay to show your emotions, to be sensitive and compassionate and to let your children and your spouse know that you love them and care for them in ways other than standing there in the background and letting the mother be the caring one.

When we turn to the Bible we see that as we read the Bible we are struck over and over again with the various images of God and most of those images are what we would call “masculine.”

Indeed, God is described as being like a Father and yes, God is like a Father, but God, in the Bible, is also like a Mother who comforts her children. In the book of Isaiah, as the nation of Israel languishes in exile and is disheartened and in need of comfort, God speaks a word of hope to them. Beginning in Chapter 40 we hear God say: “Comfort, O Comfort my people, says your God.” And for the next 26 chapters God comforts, encourages, inspires, and brings hope to a hopeless people. And at the end, in Chapter 66, verse 13, the passage Jo read this morning, God is speaking and we have these words: “As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you;…”

Notice that image – like a mother God wants to comfort those who are in need of comfort and care and support. Now fast forward to today’s Scripture passage in the Gospel of John. As Jesus faces his death and his leaving, he wants to let his disciples know that they can know the comfort of God in their lives, they can know a sustaining presence and power in their lives.

For the Christian, Jesus not only teaches us about how we can be rightly related to God and know the abundant life that God wants to give to us, he also shows us how to live in our day to day relationships and so there is something here in these words – both in the Gospel and in the Isaiah passage that can be related to our role as mothers, father, parents. In particular, Jesus shows us something about comforting and care and dealing with the challenges of life, especially the challenges of being a parent.

Let’s consider for a few moments where comfort is found. What is Jesus promising us?

Jesus says, first of all, he will comfort us by his presence. “I will not leave you comfortless; I will not leave you orphaned; I will not leave you alone,” he says to his disciples, “I will come to you.” This passage comes from the end of Jesus’ life. Jesus knows that his end is near. Jesus is going away. But God will send another comforter--the Holy Spirit. They will not be alone. God’s Spirit will be with them. And in using the specific Greek word for “another”, John understands Jesus as meaning that just as he was their comfort, the Holy Spirit will continue Jesus’ ministry and presence among them.

There is no greater gift that we can give those we love than the gift of our presence. It’s hard to love somebody you never see.

Suzy Parker in an article in USA Today notes that according to some studies, 75 percent of Americans live within minutes of at least one of their parents. Some 23 percent are within hours THEMOTHERSIDEOFGOD 3

of a parent. Only 2 percent of Americans need to drive for days to see a parent.1 And if that is true in the States, I think it is probably about the same here.

So why do so many of us who are older see our parents so seldom? Nothing says “I love you” like being there. Being there for our parents… Being there for our children.

Years ago there was a country-western song titled, “Roses for Mama.” In the song, it is Mother’s Day, and a man goes to a florist shop to buy his mother a bouquet. He knows he should visit his mother, but he has more exciting plans, so he decides to send her flowers instead. At the florist shop, the man encounters a little boy who wants to buy some roses for his mother, but he doesn’t have enough money. The man gives the boy some money, then buys his mother’s bouquet and arranges for it to be delivered to her.

As the man drives away from the florist shop, he happens to pass by a cemetery. Glancing over at the cemetery, he sees the little boy kneeling on a grave, a bouquet of roses in his hand. The man pulls into the cemetery and asks the boy what he’s doing. The boy explains that his mother has been dead a year, and that he comes there all the time to talk to her and, on this special day, to give her flowers.

The man turns around and drives back to the florist. There, he asks the florist if his mother’s flowers have been delivered yet. When the florist tells him no, the man tells him to cancel the delivery, he wants to deliver them himself.

There is nothing that says “I love you” like simply being there. Children need parents who are there for them--if possible, both mother and father. Parents who are there physically, emotionally, spiritually. Aging parents need children who will come to see them. Jesus is leaving his disciples, but he wants them to know he is not forsaking them. “I will not leave you as orphans,” he says, “I will come to you.” He will be there. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, he will be with them.

I think there is a lesson here for mothers/fathers/all of us. Presence is important.

But there is a second way in which Christ comforts his disciples. He comforts them with his understanding and love and forgiveness. Physical presence is great, of course, but it is often not enough. We need not only someone who is there, but someone who understands and loves and, here is an important point, forgives. Here is where Jesus shines. He was embodied, fleshed out love. No one was more understanding than Jesus. See him in the Gospels hold little children in his arms. See his concern for those with physical challenges, for the person whose life has been broken by sin, his care and concern for the person that no one else wanted anything to do with, his loves and concern for the penitent thief on the cross.

And here is the Good News. That is what God is like. Over and over again in the Gospels, we see Jesus saying, if you want to know what God is like, if you want to know how God acts, look at me, watch what I do. Several weeks ago we looked at those three stories over there in Luke 15.

They were stories Jesus told to let people know what God was like and that if you want to see a 1

Denis Rainey, The Tribute (Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1994, p. 103)

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concrete example of the character and love and compassion of God, look at Jesus. If you want to know what God is like, look at Jesus. If you want to know what God does when people hurt, or when they are lonely or when they are confused or when they doubt their own worth and value, look at Jesus. The comfort Jesus says that the Spirit provides is the comfort He would provide if he were still here physically. It is the comfort of empathy and understanding.

Did you hear about that bank where they trained their employees to get “a better feel” for customers with handicaps? Employees of the 180 branches of the banking group had to fill out deposit slips with Vaseline (Petroleum) smeared on their glasses and count money with three fingers on each hand taped together. The idea was to give them a better understanding of what older customers with glaucoma or arthritis may be going through. What a difference a little empathy, a little understanding, can make in a relationship.

In the book The Aladdin Factor, there is a story by Jane Nelson that could help a great many mothers and fathers. Nelson once received a call from a frantic single mother who was caught in a real power struggle with her fourteen-year-old daughter. The mother had found a six-pack of beer in her daughter’s closet. So when her daughter came home, she said, “Okay, Maria, what is this?’

“It looks like a six-pack of beer to me, Mom,” her daughter answered.

“Don’t get smart with me, young lady. You tell me about this,” said the mother.

“Well, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the girl replied.

“I found this six-pack in your closet young lady. You’d better explain,” her mother continued.

Maria thought real fast and said, “Oh yeah, I was hiding that for a friend.”

“You expect me to believe that?’ asked her mother. Maria gets mad and stomps off to her bedroom and slams the door.

Does any of this sound familiar to some of you?

When the mother called for advice, Jane Nelson asked, “Why were you so concerned with finding a six-pack of beer in her closet?”

“Because I don’t want her to get into trouble,” the mother answered.

“I understand that,” Nelson replied, “but why is it you don’t want her to get into trouble?”

The mother answered, “Well, because I don’t want her to ruin her life.”

“I understand that,” Nelson replied, “but why is it that you don’t want her to ruin her life?”

Finally the mother got it. “Well, because I love her,” she said.

“Do you think she got that message?” Nelson asked.

The answer is, “I don’t think so!”

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“What do you think would happen,” Jane Nelson asked, “if you started with that message?” That is, if she were to start with, “Honey, I love you so much that I got really scared when I found this six-pack of beer in your closet. Could we talk about this? Because I’m really afraid you could get into trouble, could we talk about it?” In this approach, Nelson says, you start by being vulnerable instead of conducting an inquisition that inevitably leads to denial. Starting from the position of love and vulnerability evokes closeness and trust so that the child is free to then open up and work together with you on some kind of solution.2 The problem for many of us as parents is that we don’t want to be vulnerable. We feel threatened. We feel weak and out of control. We would rather come down hard than try to understand what is going on and work together toward a solution.

But I think that if we could stop for a moment and think about it, we can see how this technique might be effective in dealing with some of the conflicts we have with our young people? Can you also see that this was Jesus’ method? Time and time again, he resisted the temptation to lecture, to scold, to harass. Rather be asked caring questions, and he allowed the person an opportunity to discover his or her own solutions.

“Why? Because he is empathic, because he sought to understand.

One of the things that we as Christian parents are called to do is to mediate, to serve as a channel and an expression of God’s love and comfort to our children. Whether you like it or not, whether you want to accept it or not, you are the image of God for your children, especially when they are small. They imitate you. And when you tell them about God, what he is like and how he loves, they look at you for an example of that love.

In an article, a writer tells about watching a mother in a doctor’s waiting room scold her little girl in a harsh, insensitive manner. Just a minute or two later she watched as the little girl scolded her doll in the same way the mother had scolded her. And that’s the way it goes. Children learn a lot more from what we do than from what we say.

We mediate, we convey/show God’s love and comfort to our children. They want to know if we believe it, if we are living it, if we are convinced of it. And if we are, that love flows through us to them.

And here is the challenge for parents. Children should be able, when they look at their parents, to see that they know something about God. Children should see God in their parents; they should see something of the comfort, understanding, love and forgiveness of God. “I will not leave you comfortless...” Jesus said. Christ will be there. Christ understands. And if we are to follow his example, so should we.

But there’s one thing more to be said. Christ not only sends his Spirit to be with us. Christ not only sends his Spirit to empathize with us and comfort us. Christ gives us the power to conquer our problems. “I will not leave you comfortless; I will come to you,” said Jesus.

2

Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen (New York: Berkley Books, 1995, pp. 182-183)

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“Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you will also live” (v. 19). How many people have been encouraged by those words, “Because I live, you shall live also.” This is not just a promise of life after death, but because Jesus is with us in the presence of the Spirit, we can cope, we can endure, we can overcome, we can conquer.

A parent who is there is great. A parent who understands is even better. But best of all is the parent who prepares us for life and gives us the tools to succeed.

In 1942, hysteria over Japanese involvement in World War II led to the relocation of some 110,000 Japanese Americans to internment camps. In one of these camps, Carole Doi a thirdgeneration Japanese American, was born. Years later, Carole married a man who had also spent time in the camps. When she delivered their baby daughter, they noticed that the child’s feet turned inward, the toes facing each other. Carole was determined to do whatever it would take to help her daughter walk normally.

For four years Carole provided the child with corrective shoes. Her daughter was walking normally by age six, but Carole wasn’t satisfied. “I wanted her to do anything in which she would use her legs,” she says. The girl chose ice skating.

The girl was a natural on the ice. Before long, she was bugging her mother ‘for more rink time”.

She’d refused to leave the ice until she got a particular move right. Soon the mom was getting up at 4 am. to get her daughter to the rink. Finally, after 15 years of lessons, young Kristi Yamaguchi represented her country in the Olympics.

As the national anthem was played and the flag was hoisted during the 1992 medals ceremony, Carole and Jim Yamaguchi watched Kristi receive the gold medal. Kristi Yamaguchi stood on that victory platform because of a mother who stood behind her and helped her conquer.

“I will not leave you comfortless; I will not leave you alone, I will not abandon you. I will come to you,” said Jesus. And “because I live, you also will live.” There it is. There is the promise we need most of all: The Spirit that comforts us is not only one of presence, not only one of understanding, but it is one of overcoming. It is like a mother slowly helping her daughter walk with straight feet. It is that Spirit that gives us wings like eagles.

We honor our mothers this morning. But more importantly, we honor God who is like a loving parent who is ever present, ever empathizing and ever giving us the strength to overcome.

Because God lives, we can live.

Reflection Questions 1. What impressions, thoughts, questions, do you have about the scripture passages?

2. Do you associate “comfort” more with mothers or dads? How is the comfort that you have experienced with your mother similar to that God/Jesus promises?

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3. If you are a parent, do you feel that your children knows that you understand them, love them, are there for them? What about your parents? Do they know that you are grateful to them for their investment in your life?

4. Would you agree that for many of us as parents one of the challenges is to be vulnerable with our children? What do you think about the advice that Jane Nelson gives?

5. Do you agree that as parents we mediate/show/demonstrate God’s love to our children?

6. What is your reaction to the story about Kristi Yamaguchi? Do you have a parent that stood behind you/with you to conquer? If you are a parent, could your children say that of you?

7. What questions, reactions, thoughts do you have about this sermon?

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