Space Between

composed by Tamika Whitenack edited by Emma Chun designed by Am Chunnananda

The practice of letter writing is a practice of connection for me. Since the start of my time at Vassar, I’ve used letters as a way to stay in touch with family and friends in other places. I cherish the surprise of a carefully addressed envelope in my mailbox, and usually save my letters to read at bedtime. There is something special about letters as a form of communication; I feel more deeply touched, comforted, and seen when I read letters than when I read texts or emails. I feel more connected.

Like many others, I’ve spent the duration of the COVID-19 pandemic searching for meaningful social engagement without the ability to share space in person. Letter writing has been one of my attempts to find connection, seeking to recreate tender moments across space through shared words and sentences. I’ve written letters to friends from study abroad, trying to build relationships that were truncated due to our COVID-induced return to the United States. I’ve written to old friends from high school, checking in and reflecting on the changes of this year to our lives four years ago. I’ve written letters for birthdays, accompanied with stickers and art projects. I’ve written to friends at Vassar, hoping to maintain close ties as I remained home in California for fall semester.

I believe the magic of letters lies not only in the words written on the page, but in the journey that a letter travels from sender to recipient. This space between provides a time lag in which we grow, the world changes, and when the letter is opened and read, it is something new from its original creation, the same words but in a new context. It is this idea of distance and meaning-making that inspires my found poem project for Portrait. The following poem is constructed from phrases and lines taken from nine letters, each contributed by a different person. In composing a poem of letter tidbits, I wanted to consider how the proximity of words makes meaning, even if those words have traveled great distances in order to connect. This poem is a practice of connection built from a collective practice of connection through letter writing.

contributors: Jane Ahn, Kanako Kawabe, Emma Chun, Mason Dao, Johnson Lin, Spencer McGrath, Am Chunnananda, and Gabor Ptacek

I know this is a bit out of the blue, but I’ve been doing a lot of reminiscing recently You asked what I take comfort in Autumn leaves fall as we grow i love you as mellow as the sunshine warms up the winter of november

“i’m not writing bc you haven’t responded to me in a while. Over the summer, it felt like I had so many things I wanted to say, but there was no space inside me to say them. So close yet so far I’m curious about the scribbles in your letters

this semester really is from Hell. at this point i treat your emails more like a gift from god.” It almost reminds me of my first semester of freshman year, adjusting to this new and strange environment. there is also loss, and I grieve for it all simultaneously, regularly—and there is also abundance, there, here.

Now there’s no space left even for the things I wanted to say, and I can’t tell if that’s better or worse. it’s weird to see how right as I’m getting used to campus life, I have to leave I cannot wait for more good times together i love you so much, and I hope you love me the same way i have been and are loving you

Am Chunnananda