t h e d i fferential su and rvival
s ce ren iffe od et du otype in phen
rep rod uct ion of i ndi vid ual s
ISSUE:1
IT’S SOCIAL
JIM....
#facehooked
d e k o o h e c a f #
letter from the editor : you’ve been facehooked!
www.facehooked.co.uk www.facebook.com/youvebeenfacehooked
al e “R
ge d le w o kn 2
CONTENTS is
to
ow n k
ear lin
e
Z Z Z
? d b i ur y o o v v a sa nas be a can n m ba ja nd a can ded s a y n o b a wnl ive hum o l d o s t on
i ! ens um p m p i d Z o t o f ism my n i Z e rok ar w d I b l Z sa ver t i n u las Z b ia r t med ver epo r e Z t k gh oo hli b g i h Z ou if y Z
e t h
d wor be ado
ing h t y
nt e t ex
o 3
?
f
o
n
e
’
s
ig
n
o
r
a
n
c
you
,
e
�
ht lig h g hi
! ing h t no
CAN A V void adjective 1. not valid or legally binding. 2. completely empty.
4
al n io s en m i m ard a d j o s b 3 a rd a d d c e e e r ss ik l e a s l d e c st si e a t n b g in co an h t c y e er b ey v e n t o se ls hu a a c c at ld h t u in o n e w h it nt a e g e id v s e r n F!!!! i a A T u W p??? uid less yo u h c t fl e k n e u h t
O ID BE LINEAR?
C a n a vo i d b e l i n e a r ? I s t h a t l i ke a s k i n g , ‘ c a n c h e e s e a n d j a m g o t o g e t h e r i n a s a r n i e ? ’ C h e e s e a n d c h u t n ey m a y b e , b u t n o t j a m b u t c h u t n ey c a n b e c l a s s e d a s j a m c a n i t n o t ? s a vo u r y j a m ? t h e r e yo u g o I t h i n k c h u t n ey i s a p i c k l e B i t l i ke t h e q u e s t i o n T h e r e ’ s n o s u c h t h i n g a s s a vo u r y j a m b e c a u s e t h a t wo u l d b e a c h u t n ey. . u n l e s s yo u a r e ve g a n t h e n i n t h a t c a s e eve r y t h i n g t a s t e s l i ke c a r d b o a r d m m m m m m m c a a a a a a r r r r r r d d d d d d b o a r d . . . . . Ve g a n a n d u t t e r s h i t e , I r e s t my c a s e . . I t r e a l l y i s a s b a d a s i t l o o k s . . I m a g e m a y c o n t a i n : d r i n k ke t c h u p ? ? ? W TA F ! ! ! ! W h a t a n o d d q u e s t i o n n o t h a t s w h a t i t h o u g h t j u s t t h o u g h t i d a s k a vo i d i s 3 d i m e n s i o n a l w h e r e a s a ny t h i n g l i n e a r i s g e n e r a l l y c o n s i d e r e d t o b e i nvo l v i n g o n e d i m e n s i o n o n l y : ) G e t a r o o m a n e m p t y r o o m ? A vo i d ? Ye s t h e 3 d i m e n s i o n a l k i n d S u r e l y i f t h a t vo i d wa s s t r a w s h a p e d i t wo u l d b e l i n e a r eve n t h o u g h s t i l l s o l i d ? To b e c o n s i d e r e d 3 d i m e n s i o n a l t h e r e n e e d s t o b e 3 p a r a m e t e r s ( m e a s u r a b l e va l u e s ) u s u a l l y r e f e r r e d t o a s t h e X , Y a n d Z a x i s i n e n g i n e e r i n g . A s t r a w ( t u b e ) i s 3 d i m e n s i o n a l t h e f l u i d i n s i d e i t wo u l d a l s o b e c o n s i d e r e d 3 d i m e n s i o n a l . . . . . . . i n a va c u u m ( s p a c e ) h oweve r A f l u i d c a n b e a ny t h i n g t h a t i s n ’ t c o n s i d e r e d a s o l i d m a s s I . e wa t e r a n d a i r ( u n l e s s f r o z e n t h e n i t ’ s a s o l i d ) I m a y b e w r o n g t h o u g h I ’ m s u r e l i g h t i s l i n e a r T h i s i s w hy I l e f t u n i , t o o t h i c k
no such thing as savoury jam because that would be a chutney
5
C
A M J
A N JA M bE
VO A S UR Y i n
“ I t s
H a m
J a m
C a n -
J a m S t e p
b e a wa y
I n t e r n e t .
-
g o i n g
t h e
t o
I
H a r r o g a t e
lo v e ”
a b o u t
f o r
wa s
f r o m
o f
r e m e m b e r h o t e l I
wa s
I
t h e
t h i c ke s t
wa n t Ye s
a
“ I t s s o H o l y
t o
J a m
J a m .
i t ’ s
a
b i t
t o o
( i n
we l l e r y
b r u c e a
n e e d s a n d
s q u e e z e
R i c k
-
Tr a f f i c
o f
To e
j a m-
j a m . . .
i n
J a m
P y JA M a s
ye a h
i t
c a n
M a r l ey s
f a vo u r i t e
m o t h e r
n ow
d o u g h n u t s ? ?
w i t h
b o b J a m i n
I ’ ve
t o n i g h t
d i s c u s s j a m
-
-
H a m
h o u r s
c h i l l i
i t
Yo r k s h i r e
q u e s t i o n
f ew
r e d
a s ke d
s a i d
g o t
s o m e
a smidge more
s h e
a
g o t
a
w i t h
a n d
t h a t ’ s
I ’ ve
t h o u g h ,
wa s
-
-
t h e r e
w h a t
b e
j a m
d i n n e r
wa i t r e s s
.
o n i o n
p a u l
t h e
l ove ”
i n
j a r
p o s h )
c o u l i s .
a c c e n t )
t h e
a
( d e a d
g a m m o n
c u r r e n t
g o t
w h e n
10
a n d
S a vo u r y ?
! ! ! -
I ’ ve
6
Words to live by
H u m a n s
To d a y ’ s
s h a r e -
a n d
5 0 %
o f
E x p l a i n s
k n ow
5 0 % u s
a -
j u s t
I
m o r e
t h a n
t h a t
m a ke
B a n a n a s ? a
t r u e o n
I ’ ve
h u n g r y
f e l t
e n o u g h
r i p
a r m a
s p o n s o r e d Z Z Z Z Z , a n d
by
i s
Z Z Z Z Z Z
Z Z Z Z Z Z
Z Z Z
Z Z Z Z Z Z Z .
Z Z Z Z
Yo u ’ l l b e h a p py t o k n ow I ’ ve
j u s t
G u i n n e s s n ow
h a d Z Z Z
t u c ke d
u p
a
b i g
a n d
I ’ m
i n
b e d
c r y i n g .
I ’ l l
h a ve
a
u p
b e c a u s e
yo u
r a n
o u t
o f
a l r e a d y
l o l
w i t h
t i m e m e
t o
c a n b e
eve r yo n e . s o m e b o d y b e f o r e
p r eve n t
N ex t p u t
8 a m ,
£ 12 8
i t
b a r
-
p o r n L o l
w t f
r i g h t i s
-
t h e
e p i c
i
t h a t
m u n c h i n g
c r y i n g
l o l
a m
H O OV E R
b a n a n a m a n
step away from the internet
k n ow
e n d i n g
-
r e m e m b e r
t h a t
I
m ov i e
I
i t ’ s
I s
D i s n ey
-
g e e k
a s
I ’ m
n a n a
7
t h i n k
-
t a b s
o n
d ow n l o a d e d ,
r a i n i n g
o f f c h ew
D i m e n s i o n
Epic night, good catching
m a y
a n d
A d o b e
a f t e r n o o n
s o m e o n e ’ s
s o o o o o o k
i
h a n g ove r
Ye t
yo u
o c c a s i o n
i t
-
-
M i n d
h a ve
i ve
b a n a n a !
s a t i s f i e d !
t o
i f
-
c o n f l i c t e d !
-
-
c a n n i b a l
e a t e n
f e e l
l o t
w h o
D o e s
e a t
D N A
p e o p l e
l o t
5 0 %
we
t h e i r a
s o m e
s h a r e
b a n a n a s
TECH SECTION ADOBE DIMENSION DOWNLOADED
Humans and Bananas
-
d o n ’ t i n
t h e
-
I ’ m
H E N RY
B
Yo u t o
m u s t
m e
-
p e n i s . doll .
d e f l a t e d ,
Ty r e d
C a n t
b e
Tuesdays,
.
f ancy
8
f e e l
-
Be CO2
a
o f
i f
t h i s
b o t h e r e d how
r ight
inf later?
many twat -
n o t
a
l i t t l e
a l r e a d y. t o
t h i n k
years if
you
Flat
l e t
o f
Re a l l y
had
got
a
t hat? you
S o u n d s my
f o o t
w i t t y Gotta
PUNcture
until
p u t
a ny t h i n g
you f eet
d ow n
r ight
get
a
be
i n S o
a
i t
l o a d -
-
one!!!!
f o r
duct Do
o f
Yo u
m u c h
mainly
now
new
l i ke
a i r
m a s s i ve
i n f l a t a b l e
tape
you
h o t
by
not
now have
. a
9
“
I
yo u r b a c k
-
-
t i o n i s e d
e n d i n g ! !
k i d s
g u e s s
a r e
yo u -
.
.
a n d
t h a t
H a h a
i s
-
t h e
o n e
.
t h e
.
.
. b l o ke
.
.
.
-
-
s p o i l t
t h e .
.
.
. ‘ N e i g b o u r s ’ ?
‘ M e m e t i c s ’ o f
L I E D evo l u -
TO
‘ E vo l u t i o n ’
yo u S e e n
n ow
e n d ?
o u t
t h e
N E E D
DA RW I N I S M ,
UNIVERSAL DARWINISM
w i t h
?
i n
s o u p
d i e
w h a t ? ? ? ? ? ?
S o l d i e r ’
W hy
‘ U n i ve r s a l
d i d
Z Yo u
a l l
p r e - D N A
t h ey
U N I V E R S A L
E VO LU T I O N ,
O N
C U LT U R A L
C H A P T E R
t o
D i d
A N D
A
D OW N
M E M E T I C S
R E A D
Z J U S T
ZIT ’S EVOLU TIO N MA NZ
g u y s
a r e n ’ t
g o n n a
l ove
r e a d y
i t .
”
f o r
t h a t
ye t . . .
B u t
I WAS TURBO ZZZZED, THE PART OF THE NIGHT I
C O U L D
A S
A
F U N C T I O N
H U M A N
WA S
B E I N G
YO U
Z Z Z Z I N G
H I L A R I O U S . . . . . . . . . T H E O F
OT H E R T I M E
YO U
P E R I O D
WA S
Z Z Z Z I N G
A L S O
A N Y W H E R E
F O R
C H E A P E R
T H AT
TO
B E
E L S E T H A N
FA I R
T H E R E
W H E N
C O M E S U S E
P I N K
H AV E
D O N ’ T YO U J U S T LOV E I T
T I C K L E
AW E S O M E ,
S H O U L D
B E E N
THAT TOP PROPER STANK
C A N ’ T
T H E
Z Z Z Z Z
S O M E O N E
I N
TO I L E T
TO
T H E N
E V E RY W H E R E .
W H AT ’ S D O I N G
J U S T
MEDIA
D R I N K I N G
BLAST
Z Z Z Z Z Z D OW N
I AM SERIOUSLY NEVER
I N
AT
B O U R N E M O U T H . . . .
L E A S T
I T
N OT
T H I S
F E E L
I
W E L L
M O R N I N G .
DO YOU WANT A DRINK
WA S N ’ T
Z Z Z Z Z ?
L E F T I N T H E C A R PA R K
A PA R T F RO M P U M P K I N
D O
AGA I N .
P L A I N P I C K E D
S Q UAT S
N O ,
C R I S P S
I
WA N T A N D
A
E G G !
Z Z Z Z Z
BOOK REPORT A must ha ve accessor y! o f
Z Z Z Z Z ’
t h a n
m e
h a d
o n e
Z Z Z Z Z
Z Z Z Z Z
10
M i n e s
-
I t s
p o s s i b l y o f I ’ m
j u s t
c l e a r j u s t
t h e s e !
-
t a l k i n g c a l l e d
-
‘Little’ you ’d need ‘My encyclopaedia t h a t
l e s s
k n ow
t o l e r a n t
ye s ,
a b o u t
yo u
b u t
a r e
f a c e b o o k
I
wo m e n ’ s
n o -
-
u s e
G O O D
m o r e
Z Z Z Z i s h
t h o u g h t o n e s
a r e
o n l y
p e o p l e wo m e n
u s e f u l ,
t h e
w h a t s o - Z Z Z Z i n g - eve r ! P O I N T
-
picture origin unknown (not taking credit)
CENSORED
If you highlight everything, you highlight nothing RELEASE DATE: TBA TRACK LISTING
Z if you highlight everything, you highlight nothing Z angels, Z Z Z Z Z , and us in between Z to move forward you must look at the past, then forget it Z heaven knows i’m visible now Z 6 minutes till 12 hours of boredom Z That banana smells amazing 11
Z
#facehooked www.facehooked.co.uk
www.facebook.com/youvebeenfacehooked
not
THE
END
MMXVII I
You’ve been Facehooked!