Grip - Fall 2010

10 Fall 20

Relationships Complicated, but totally worth it

New School

Stories from ‘the new kid’

Get Real

Start feeling good about your body

Dating Age

Should we wait until we’re older?

PLUS: o t 10 ways a mend art he broken

Ghostkeeper: One of Calgary’s hottest bands stays true to its roots Return undeliverable mail to: Circulation Department, 10259 - 105 Street, Edmonton, AB T5J 1E3. Publications Mail Agreement #40020055

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17 what’s inside

FEATURES

DEPARTMENTS

The Relationships Issue

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The highs, the lows. The laughter, the tears. Grip has it all covered.

Just read here.

Friendship Knows no Bounds Two girls, two cultures, one friendship

By Fatuma Ayanle & Allison Sayers

Relationship Ready To wait, to date and what to do when you get there

By Rachel Hughes

Big Bullies Stand up, take charge, reach out Everything Online?

Why you should watch what you post Keep a Friend Changing interests, steadfast friends

By Caitlin Hart

Cycle of Abuse See the signs of an unhealthy relationship

By Megan Ryland

A Shining Light How a youth leader helped me out

By Jennifer Pothier

The New Kid On surviving junior high from day one

By Sydney Kang

DEBATE: When to date Is there an age when we are ready?

By Varda Khan and Sam Taylor

Heart on the Mend Top tips for getting over a breakup

By Katherine Abbass

Shhhh, I’ve got a secret When to keep quiet and when to spill

By Leanne Klimek

A message from one of our teen writers about relationships. Also, meet a brothersister duo and a former new kid who are Grip contributors

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18 20 22 24 26 28 30 32 34 36 42 38 44

it Happens Starting the school year right; Benefits of bananas; Caffeine cautions; Dr. Jekyll meets Mr. Hyde; Lunch ideas and A puzzle for you Plus! Music, book and video game reviews

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COVER illustration: josh holinaty

Off the Wall The best links to learn, or just to laugh

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Help Wanted You asked, we answered

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Fan Fare: Meet the man behind Calgary’s Ghostkeeper. He’s fresh off a nomination for a top Canadian music award

By Jasmine Salazar

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Portfolio Art, photos, words from creative contributors

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This is… Walter Pang An enviro-kid who paints Calgary green

By ANNALISE KLINGBEIL

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Comic All fun and no work

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The Last Word A (fake) interview with a hunky, sparkling vampire

By Mike and Jessie Tollestrup

Get Real On media, body image and feeling good

By Jasmin Risk

If Not Me, Then Who? An argument for the environment

by Sandy Xu

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04 From a Grip Contributor

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ndependence. Freedom. Two goals teenagers look to achieve constantly in their lives. No school, no parents’ rules, no problems, right? Some of you may have responded to that with a big heck YES! However, some of you may have responded with a tentative no. Those of you who answered no, congratulations, you are wisely aware that facing the world alone is not a tempting prospect and you are also aware that, when it comes right down to it, relationships are really what makes life worth living.

Relationships are the glue that holds life together. Relationships are the playgrounds for love and kindness. Our interactions and reactions to people determine how our lives are lived. When we are linked to someone for an extended period of time we are in a relationship with them. We all have a relationship with someone: mom, dad, brother, sister, grandma, grandpa, friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, or even a dog. Relationships can give us wisdom about life, but they can also sweep logic out from under us. They can cherish our innocence or steal it away; they can also bring untold happiness and grief into our lives. Teens are really only awkward adults; as we explore relationships we are only just starting to stand on our own two feet and our legs are wobbly.

This issue is about relationships, and is written for teens by teens, so that you know you do not hurt, laugh or frown alone.

We offer advice on how to deal with bullies, why a breakup is not always as bad as it seems and how to handle being the new kid in town. Sometimes all we need is someone to listen and sometimes all we need is someone to talk to. We have all contributed our advice and stories about our lives in order for you to better yours.

And if you can’t listen to one of your own, who can you listen to?

Sam Taylor

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Contributors Fall 2010 | Volume 4, No. 2 Publisher

Ruth Kelly

Associate Publisher

Joyce Byrne | comments@griponlife.ca Executive Editor

Beth Evans

Managing Editor

Emily Senger | creative@griponlife.ca assistant Editor

Geoff Morgan | creative@griponlife.ca copy chief

Kim Tannas | creative@griponlife.ca Editorial Advisors

Sarah Damberger, Lynn Damberger, Dianne Drummond, Ray Harrison, Dr. Gary Hnatko, Janet Kostek, Caroline Missal, Leslie Munson, Barb Olsen, Tammy O’Quinn, Rhonda Patton, Taryn Pawlivsky, David Rust, Erin Walton, Lindsay Whittaker Art Director

Charles Burke

In between trips to random locations where interact is accepted, Sydney Kang enjoys reading, singing, hanging out with friends, swimming and the colour purple. Things she does not enjoy include boredom, mosquito bites and slow computers. She has been told, on occasion, that she talks too much, but she takes that as a compliment on her ability to string words into coherent sentences.

Sydney can often be spotted reading facts about subjects she will never encounter in her daily life. She is also a literature enthusiast (English nerd), a nature lover (tree hugger) and a bit of an impulse buyer (shopoholic).

Check out Sydney’s experiences as “the new kid” on page 32. .

On August 14, Mike Tollestrup turned 13. He likes to play guitar, draw and play video games. His idols are Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, the creators of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He thinks beavers are cool. He figures if he rambles on long enough this bio will be about 100 words. Jupiter is a cool planet. Mike has run out of things to say, so he will end with this cool quote

by George Bush: “I do not like broccoli.” Read the story Mike co-wrote with his older sis Jessie on page 54.

Associate Art Director

Rodrigo López Orozco graphic designer

Colin Spence

Production coordinator

Betty Smith

Distribution

Andrea Cruickshank | getgrip@griponlife.ca Contributing Writers

Katherine Abbass, Fatuma Ayanle, Jen Argan, Chris Berthelot, Jake Gentes, Caitlin Hart, Rachel Hughes, Madelynn Johnson, Sydney Kang, Varda Khan, Leanne Klimek, Annalise Klingbeil, Gabrielle McKinley, Ange Paye, Jennifer Pothier, Rob Propp, Benjamin A. Randall, Sam Ridgway, Jasmin Risk, Megan Ryland, Jasmine Salazar, Allison Sayers, Sam Taylor, Jessie Tollestrup, Mike Tollestrup, Janina Valencia, Erin Vance, Shanoa Waskahat, Sandy Xu Contributing photographers and Illustrators

Katherine Abbass, Eric Gravel, Josh Holinaty, Kyle Kurtz, Heff O’Reilly, Jordan Phillips, Jasmin Risk, Colin Spence, Chris Tait, Janina Valencia, Adrienne Vander Meulen, Erin Vance Grip is published by Venture Publishing Inc. for Alberta Health Services

The content of this magazine is provided for general informational purposes only and is not intended to replace consultations with your doctor or to provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any personal medical and health questions that you may have.

Printed in Canada by Transcontinental LGM Graphics Canadian Publications Mail Agreement #40020055 Contents copyright 2010 by Alberta Health Services. Content may not be reprinted or reproduced without written permission from Alberta Health Services.

Venture Publishing Inc. 10259-105 Street, Edmonton, AB T5J 1E3 Tel: 780-990-0839 | Fax: 780-425-4921 | Toll-free: 1-866-227-4276 circulation@venturepublishing.ca

Jessie Tollestrup, 16, lives on an acreage near small-town Milk River with her parents and two younger brothers. She enjoys writing poetry and parodies and has taken to keeping pens in her hair to be prepared for a moment of inspiration. Other than writing, music is her life. She sings, plays the piano and guitar, and is trying to learn the accordion, harmonica and drums. In her spare time she keeps up the cat graveyard in her backyard (population 26).

Read the story Jessie co-wrote with her brother Mike on page 54.

The views expressed in Grip are the opinions of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Alberta Health Services or Venture Publishing

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News

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it Happens | News

Hit the ground running

Sometimes it’s hard to get back into the swing of going to school, especially after a nice summer spent relaxing with friends. But shaking off the sand from the beach and getting back to form early can put you ahead all year. Don’t play catch-up, be the early leader.

Here are a few tips that will put you in front: 1. Get an agenda early: If your school agenda isn’t arriving until October, then maybe it’s time to jumpstart the process. You will have work to do before then (sigh) and you might as well know what it is.

2. Overview: Do a quick overview of your textbooks. You don’t need to read them all – you’ll do that through the year. But if you have a quick run through early, then you’ll know what’s coming up. Know what’s on the horizon and you’ll master it later.

3. Make a schedule: And try to follow it. Knowing that you’ve got sports on Monday night, friends on Friday and maybe something else in between, will let you find enough time to get your work done.

Don’t fly by the seat of your pants, make time to do the work so you have time for the fun stuff when it comes up.

4. Mark up a calendar: The worst feeling in the world is realizing the day before that you have a project due the next day. Find a yearly calendar and a marker and make sure that doesn’t happen to you this year. The calendar will let you see what’s coming up.

5. Get a good night’s sleep: You’ve got to sleep, everybody needs to. If you start the year on the right foot, then you won’t need to play catchup later with your Zs. A little rest will go a long way.

6. Have fun: Getting stressed out right at the beginning of the year will really deplete your fuel for the long haul. Relax, you can do this. Go for a run, take a walk and get outside to waylay the effects of stress.

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First things first It’s back to school and the pressure is on. It’s a balancing act to manage sports and clubs, friends, volunteering, a part-time job, studying, family obligations and whatever else you cram into your day. Follow these tips to set priorities when you’re feeling overwhelmed.

Make a list. Write down what you have to do. Write down when you have to do it, or the deadline, if there is one.

Prioritize. What needs to be done in the short-term?

The long-term? What is most important to you? Number your list and start on the urgent items. Set some time aside to start the long-term ones.

Work in rewards. They don’t have to be big. For example, when you’re studying, take a 10-minute walk around the block each hour to clear your mind. After a busy day, curl up with a novel, or plan to go see a movie with your friends after your math exam.

Feel OK about saying no. Too busy? Maybe you want to stay at home and chill on Friday night, or you can’t take that extra shift at work because you have to study.

Don’t feel guilty about taking time for yourself.

Some you-time OHHH... allows you to deal B-BACK TO when things get SCHOOL busy.

My Dusty Book Shelf The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

by Robert Louis Stevenson

Reviewed by Janina Valencia

Coffee Coffee Coffee Coffee Buzz Buzz Buzz Buzz

Caffeine might help you get to class on time in the morning, but the drug in that cup of coffee is an upper. It causes your heart rate to speed up. Too much caffeine means you won’t be able to sleep at night. It can also cause anxiety, depression, stomach problems and an irregular heartbeat. To avoid an unpleasant buzz, try not to have more than a cup a day and know how much caffeine you’re putting into your body. You might be surprised to know that even decaf coffee has some caffeine.

Imagine Ms. Lavender, your oh-so-sweet history teacher who can make a dull lesson shine and wouldn’t send a single student to detention, turns into your utterly horrifying science teacher, Ms. Potts, who can turn all of that epic awesomeness into hell at the sound of a bell.

Terrible thought, isn’t it? But what’s more appalling is the strange case of Dr. Jekyll. He appears to be a good and friendly doctor but Decaffeinated coffee (1 cup): 1-10 mg has covered up a life of cruel deeds since he drank a potion, which is Chocolate (1.4 oz./40 g): 20-25 mg his own creation, and became the small, cruel, remorseless and evil Cola drinks (10 oz./280 ml): 30-60 mg Mr. Hyde.

Tea (1 cup): 10-90 mg This classic tale of suspense and terror written by Robert Louis Instant coffee (1 cup): 30-100 mg Stevenson revolves around the dual nature of man: the good and the Coffee (1 cup): 100 mg evil. Dr. Jekyll always struggled between what is right and wrong.

Energy drinks (12 oz./355 ml): 40-200 mg He pushes people away who are dear to him in case his wicked Stay-awake pills (1 tablet): 100-250 mg alter-ego will appear and he will be transformed into a malevolent nightmare.

This short book, which you can read in one sitting, will make you wonder if people are really good – Dr. Jekyll – or if they are just Bananas are one of the best things you can eat for breakfast. Not covering up only do they give you a burst of energy, bananas have a lot of potasthe bad in the sium, which can be good for stress relief and cooling down your inside – like blood pressure.

Mr. Hyde.

If you feel down, bananas are also great for reducing depression Stevenbecause they have tryptophan. That can help improve your mood. son’s OH, AND THEY ALSO book has HELP YOUR BODY ABSORB a great BONE-STRENGTHENING plot: you NUTRIENTS, LIKE CALCIUM will be amazed with the unexpected twists and turns. Peobook is a hit and an easy read.

AND MAGNESIUM. ple who like dark and complex tales would surely enjoy If you’re looking for a more this book. It’s great for adults and teenagextreme suspense and terror story, ers, with a taste for a little bit of don’t pick up this book – it’s not the fantasy mixed with suspense. type of thriller that will give you night terrors Grade: A This classic and disrupt your sleep. But it is an amazing story that’s still loved today.

Go bananas!

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News

Hey, Eagle Eyes. There are 11 differences between the image on the left and the one on the right. Can you find them all?

(ANSWERS ON PAGE NINE.)

SPOT THE DIFFS, yo !!!

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Tired of peanut butter sandwiches? Or are you looking for something that will help you feel better than greasy cafeteria fries? Check out these lunchtime recipes that will keep you fueled up all day.

Healthy school lunches

By Jen Argan Vegetarian Stir-Fry

Pizza Pita

ingredients:

ingredients:

1 carrot 2 eggs Pinch of finely minced fresh ginger root Handful of broccoli Half a red or orange pepper 1 ½ tsp tumeric 2 Tbsp (30 ml) soy sauce 1 Tbsp canola oil Brown thin noodles or brown rice directions: 1. Chop up vegetables into small, thin slices.

2. Cook rice or noodles according to package directions.

3. Heat up oil in a non-stick pan, then add ginger when warm.

5. Add carrots and stir.

6. Put in broccoli a few minutes after the carrots.

7. Add peppers and let cook for about two minutes.

8. Stir in eggs quickly so they don’t burn.

9. Add tumeric and soy sauce.

10. Stir in rice for about 30 seconds and bring off heat.

11. Lunch is ready to be eaten cold or microwaved.

1 Whole wheat pita Tomato or Ragu sauce Cheese Ham or sausage Tomatoes Mushrooms Any other pizza toppings you like!

Directions: 1. Open one side of the pita without ripping it.

2. Stuff in a bit of sauce, cheese, ham, mushrooms and other toppings.

3. Fold the top part of the pita inside, and roll the bottom piece up. Put it in a plastic sandwich bag, so the toppings won’t escape.

4. You can heat up the pizza or enjoy it cold!

Recommended:

www.tumblr.com If you’re looking for the ultimate blogging site on the Internet, Tumblr is just that. You can “follow” others on Tumblr who have caught your attention and “like” posts that you find noteworthy.

You can also post your thoughts, pictures, sound clips and links to other websites. All these options make Tumblr extremely diverse, unique and easy to use. Just about anything that you have saved on your computer can be posted on Tumblr.

Also, look forward to every Tuesday when the Tumblr staffs pick Tumblogs that they think are notable. Maybe you will find something that you think is awesome. Well, in that case, you can go ahead and reblog it onto your Tumblog. Whether you are a budding photographer, an artist, or a blogger, Tumblr gives you a place to share your thoughts and display your works of art.

s wer ans coloured wallpaper, light switch, plant, apple, t-shirt, sunglasses, artwork, golfer, mirrored laptop, mirrored cord, guinea pig.

By Sydney Kang

Take a little Tumblr

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Crisp Fall Selections Heat Wave

by Richard Castle REVIEWED By Sam Ridgway

If you’ve turned on ABC in the past year, you’ve probably heard of Rick Castle. He’s that hot mystery writer portrayed by Edmonton-raised actor Nathan Fillion in the crime drama Castle.

As if the show wasn’t already popular enough, now the fictional Richard Castle has written his first novel Heat Wave, a sexy, stunning and red-herring filled novel. Yes, that’s right, a novel written by a fictional TV character, or at least by a writer using the pen name of a fictional TV character.

From the main characters’ names (the writer in the novel is named Jameson Rook, derived from Castle’s favourite whiskey and the fact that in chess, a Rook is a Castle), to the intense nail-biting twists you find right to the end, everything in Heat Wave hooks you and draws you into a great story.

The action begins when a New York real estate tycoon commits what is a suspiciously homicidal suicide. When his trophy wife is found to be connected to a wide range of people – from the greasiest mobsters to the shiniest moguls – questions begin to be raised. NYPD detective Nikki Heat – a fictional character modeled after the already fictional Kate Beckett – and her tag-along bothersome journalistturned-love-affair Jameson Rook are on the case, turning even the most skeptical mystery reader into a fan.

Grade: A- This Castle read-alike is fun, light and an easy read, something you don’t usually find mixed with such a thrilling plot. I could recommend Heat Wave to anyone!

Geektastic Edited by Cecil Castelluci and Holly Black Reviewed by Caitlin Hart

Geektastic is a totally, well, geeky collection of stories covering all levels of geekdom, including online role-playing, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, a high school quiz team, wannabe theatre geeks and even a hook-up between a Trekkie and a Star Wars fanatic. With some of YA literature’s most popular authors, including Libba Bray, John Green, Barry Lyga and David Levithan, there’s something for the geek in all of us. You may even, in the pages of this book, discover the lurking geek that a cheerleader finds in herself.

While some stories fail to deliver a truly interesting take on being a geek, most of the characters jump off the page, offering fresh stories that speak to each of us. Funny, quirky and charming, this collection isn’t just for those of us who frequent fan fiction sites. It’s about more than just getting picked on by classmates and memorizing Lord of the Rings, this collection reaches

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beyond the typical high school stereotypes and falls into good old story telling. It’s a mixed bag of stories, the majority of which hit the mark, though some are stellar and some are awful.

In the generation of vampires, werewolves and wizard schools, this collection is about underdogs that triumph in their own uniquely geeky ways. While you shouldn’t set your expectations too high, there’s enough romance, humour, and some fabulous displays of nerdiness to carry you through. This is definitely a must-read for anyone who seriously digs geeks or short stories.

Grade: B- While Geektastic does leave something to be desired, the stories that are worthwhile shine, and it’s worth adding to your reading list just for these gems.

eviews Mystery, drama, short stories and humour, these reviewers have something for every reader

House Rules

By Jodi Picoult Reviewed by Jen Argan

Jodi Picoult has built herself a reputation for authoring books filled with criminal law, love and surprise endings.

Her newest book, House Rules, does not disappoint.

It centres on teenager Jacob Hunt, a highly intelligent boy with an aptitude for forensics. However, Jacob has Asperger’s syndrome. Asperger’s is a disorder on the autism spectrum that makes Jacob a high achiever, but with absolutely no social skills.

The disability alienates Jacob from his peers at school and he needs a social skills teacher, Jess, a college student who shows Jacob the love and patience that he has only ever known from his mother.

One day, Jacob’s mother, Emma, learns that Jess has been killed. But she also sees footage of the place where Jess is found, and notices a coloured quilt that she knows belongs to Jacob. Afraid of what might happen, she tells the police, who take a confused, painfully literal Jacob in for questioning. Emma can’t bear to see her son slip away from her as he did once already and will do anything to clear her son, even if she can’t be sure that he is innocent.

This book makes you look at the everyday struggles a family faces with a disabled son and a father who abandoned them. It shows the love a mother has for her children, that she will do anything to protect them. It also looks at the perspective that a disability isn’t necessarily

a bad thing – it’s a personality trait that some would not change for the world.

Picoult is a master at playing devil’s advocate. She makes you look at a situation and forces you to take the opposite side than you normally would. She explains struggles that make our own difficulties look easy and says that we, as teenagers and as a society, need to be more accepting of others. In a way we are all disabled or different, but for some of us it’s just more subtle.

Grade: A+ This is a captivating story that puts your hardships into perspective. The book will tug at your heart and make you wish it would never end.

Before you laugh at this, consider the amount of teen leisure time spent reading, and fantasizing about Twilight and you’ll understand why a Twilight parody was a wise choice for the The Harvard Lampoon. The Lampoon is an undergraduate humour publication from Harvard University. It’s also the oldest continuous publication in the prestigious university. Old as it may be, the recent years publications, like this one, have reached the zenith of bestsellers. Perhaps the secret to its success lies in the parody of popular culture.

Twi-hards will find certain events from the original series are omitted in Nightlight. Meanwhile, a warning to Cullen-fanatics: this book is not for the faint hearted. Prepare to wipe that body glitter off Prince Charming.

Grade: B+ If you’re seeking a “LOL” per page, this book is not for you. It’s a parody, not your average joke book.

Nightlight: A Parody

By The Harvard Lampoon Reviewed By Sandy Xu

If you’re one of those people who can’t help but throw popcorn at the next twilight-brigade then brace yourself: this parody of the Twilight books series is twice the laugh and the love.

In Nightlight, the unconditionally average Belle Goose falls for the hottest – wait for it – computer nerd in Phoenix, mistaking him to be the vampire-that-never-was. This book calls on the themes of Twilight, exaggerating the events that will make you question every detail in the original. Ever wondered why Bella always trips over pebbles, leafs and herself? The attraction is clearly the slightly less undead hero Edwart, a nerdy germ-a-phobe. To quote the book: “I turned to thank him kindly for the use of his pencil, but he was looking at me in horror, his mouth agape…He grabbed the pencil and started wiping his hands with baby-wipes and rubbing the pencil with Purell.” griponlife.ca

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Back to School Soundtrack Check out these Grip reader picks High Violet

By The National

The Ladder

By Andrew Belle

Reviewed by Megan Ryland

Reviewed by Ange Paye

It seems that long-time indie darling The National is finally approaching mainstream popularity with its newest release High Violet, which came out in May. Although the Brooklyn-based band’s usual melancholy is most definitely present, this album isn’t as dark as it might first appear, even with track titles like “Terrible Love,” “Sorrow” and “Afraid of Everyone.” For example, it’s hard not to laugh the first time you realize that singer Matt Berninger is repeating “I was afraid I’d eat your brains.” No, the song “Conversation 16” is not a song about zombies, at least I don’t think so.

The band’s lyrics tend to be convoluted, so this is an album to sit down and enjoy without distractions for the first few listens, at least.

After doing so, I had “Bloodbuzz Ohio” stuck in my heads for days and I had renewed an appreciation for a band that has been making music together for more than 10 years. The National seems to love crescendos and these lush tracks use their climatic endings to their advantage, creating intense songs that continue to grow to a strong finish. Berninger’s heavy, unique voice is paired with everything from piano and guitar to string sections and ambient sounds, but the band never strays into busy noise. It’s a sign of its maturity and it’s a definite pleasure to listen to.

After so many critically acclaimed albums, it’s hard to say what sets High Violet apart. It could be the addition of what the band has called its first pop song, “Anyone’s Ghost.” It could be that consistent greatness has to pay off some time. Whatever has put it over the top, The National has earned itself many more fans this summer with High Violet.

Grade: B+ High Violet appears to be an album that both music critics and the average listener can agree on. It’s definitely worth a listen, but it’s an album made for the indie lovers first and foremost.

A young Chicago artist by the name of Andrew Belle has hit the pop singer/ songwriter scene with his latest release, The Ladder, which features strong vocals, guitar-popping sounds and a sincere approach to songwriting. Previous to this album, Belle set the bar high with his debut EP, All Those Pretty Lights in 2008, with tracks featured on top TV shows including 90210, Grey’s Anatomy, Ghost Whisperer and MTV’s The Real World.

Belle launched his solo career in Chicago, performing in local restaurants and venues. Now, living between Chicago and Nashville, he tours clubs and universities across the United States and is also a member of the Ten Out Of Tenn Tour, a collective of pop artists from Nashville.

Belle released his first full-length album, The Ladder, in February. It tells tales of soul searching, redefining friendships and uncertainties with love.

The Ladder is an album suited for young adults, as it lets you know that some things just don’t work out. Part of Belle’s TV appeal is the fact that his lyrics fit perfectly into dramatic situations. Songs like “In My Veins,” proves this with sincere lines like “nothing goes as planned/everything will break/people say goodbye/in their own special way.” These lyrics fit perfectly with a dramatic ending on an episode of Grey’s Anatomy. The second song on The Ladder, a duet with Katie Herzig called “Static Waves,” is a clear standout on the album.

The soft female vocals highlight Andrew’s solemn tone and makes for a perfect blend.

When attempting to find parallels between his voice and other mainstream pop artists, Belle’s sound has been compared to acts like Coldplay, The Fray and John Mayer. But, when it comes down to it, Belle’s catchy and purposeful tunes are one-of-a kind.

Grade A+ The Ladder is, without a doubt, an amazing addition to the world of pop music. This album never gives listeners a reason to skip a song.

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views Not all of her music is auto-tuned, though.

Some songs, like “Dancing With Tears In My Eyes” or “Animal,” are only about 20 perReviewed by cent auto-tuned. Those songs show the real Gabrielle Ke$ha and make you appreciate her talent a McKinley little bit more.

If I had to Despite her music being entertaining, it choose some is a little inappropriate to young or maturing words to children.

Ke$ha doesn’t set a very good describe the example, singing a lot about drugs, sex and album Animal by Ke$ha, for starters I’d say it’s being wasted all the time. entertaining. Her music is upbeat, fun and gets you Ke$ha’s album Animal is like hip-hop dancing right away. Secondly, it’s auto-tuned. A lot. mixed with a little bit of rap. It’s perfect for Sure, auto-tuning is amusing and it sounds good on having a mature beach party, barbeque or some songs, but Ke$ha repeatedly auto-tunes her out with your friends. just hanging music and it continues to irritate people.

Grade: B+ Boisterous, a little inappropriate, but also amusing, Animal is the type of music Glee: The Music, Journey to that is enjoyable, but should not be played Regionals around younger children.

REVIEWED BY: CAITLIN HART

Animal

By Ke$ha

Glee, the television musical phenomenon, hits all the right notes with its latest EP featuring music from the season finale. With stunning vocals, explosive numbers and heartfelt lyrics, every song is worthy of space on your iPod. Featuring show regulars Matthew Morrison, Lea Michele and Chris Colfer, among others, the disc also features guest star Jonathan Groff. From Queen to Lulu, the diverse collection of covers has wide appeal.

Fans of the show and haters alike will find beauty in this collection of songs.

It’s hard to find a flaw in the six mesmerizing songs on this album. Stars of the show Lea Michele and Cory Monteith perform a beautiful take on Journey’s Faithfully, and the entire cast recreates the song that rocketed the band to stardom, Don’t Stop Believing. A unique twist is put on the classic Judy Garland song Over the Rainbow, sung by fan favorite Matthew Morrison. Lea Michele, Mark Stalling and Cory Moneteith perform a ‘mash-up,’ known on the show as two songs “smushed” together, of Any Way You Want It and Lovin’ Touchin’ Squeezin. While some music snobs will denounce Glee’s brilliant covers, their arguments don’t hold up when compared to this great album. Much singing, dancing and headbanging (yes, to show choir songs) is sure to ensue. Whether you hate Glee or openly love it, this EP is for you.

Grade: A- From a 13-year-old Jonas Brothers fan to an old lady, this album really is for all music lovers.

Drowning Pool By: Drowning Pool Reviewed by: Chris Berthelot

Heavy metal band Drowning Pool blasts through the pop music noise with its latest self-titled album, Drowning Pool. This also happens to be its first album to have a consecutive vocalist, from the previous album, Full Circle. This album seems to be reminiscent of Drowning Pool’s first album, Sinner, but also shows a definite attempt at grounding its musical identity, after a few vocalist changes. Similar artists to peruse if interested by Drowning Pool are bands like Static-X and Mudvayne.

The album clearly is influenced by vocalist Ryan McCombs’ personal issues, like the death of his father, who the album is dedicated to. This CD is definitely full of some rock anthems, with such tunes as “Feel like I Do.” But at the same time, there are also some slower, more emotionally driven tracks such as “Turn so Cold.” The band does show some progress in developing its own sound. However, the album also has much resemblance with the band’s first release Sinner, and it loses some originality and progress to that.

That being said, this album certainly has some great tracks, which anyone who enjoys rock music can easily enjoy, whether it’s in concert or at home. Drowning Pool certainly has shown perseverance throughout the years, continuing after the death of original vocalist Dave Williams. But after continuing from each setback, I believe that Drowning Pool’s self titled album is pretty decent, both lyrically and musically, and definitely earns some head banging and air guitar play. I recommend this album to all rock and metal fans.

Grade: B+ Although this is a very well produced album, with good lyrics and clean sound, it does sound semi-similar to Drowning Pool’s first album, losing some potential for what could have been a breakthrough for Drowning Pool’s music career. Despite that, it’s still very good.

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it Happens | Reviews

The Gamer Grip gamers give their reviews Title: The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks Platform: Nintendo DS Rating: Everyone

REVIEWED BY: VARDA KHAN Have you ever wished to be in a video game? Fighting villains, saving girls and traveling the world with weapons! Well don’t look any further, Nintendo’s latest offering in the Zelda series is just for you! The latest Zelda game, only available on the Nintendo DS, has kept gamers sweating in front of their computer screens because of returning characters and a whole new twist to the plot.

A recent game was released a month ago and it is the continuation of The Legend of Zelda: Windwaker. It is the story in which the main character, Link, is on a dangerous journey to save his sister from the evil wizard Gannon. In this new installment, Link has returned not as a sailor, but instead as a newly promoted train conductor. Link works with princess Zelda and solves puzzles to retrieve the spirit tracks. The whole point of this game is that there are these special railway tracks called spirit tracks. Long ago, the spirits of the kingdom had sealed away the evil Demon King through the use of the Tower of Spirits. Driving the Demon King deep into the ground, the spirits then used the spirit tracks as a key to lock the Demon King away from the world of the living. Now the spirit tracks are disappearing and the world is plunging into darkness as the Demon King is resurrected.

Using the DS pen, you move Link with the stylus and help him throw his weapons, including the boomerang, as well as blow into the built-in microphone to use your flute. Gamers who like adventure-type games will be interested in this game.

Grade: A- There are great graphics, wonderful music and you get to play alongside Princess Zelda. The downside is that you can’t explore as much, as in previous games where you could explore the entire kingdom.

Now, Zelda only explores stations.

Title: Avatar Platform: Nintendo Wii Rating: Teen

REVIEWED BY: ROB PROPP Does playing a game based on one of the highest grossing movies of all time appeal to you? As expected, James Cameron’s Avatar is now a video game. You are a Navi fighting the planetary invaders. You use a variety of weapons and complete quests using stealth, strength and the various creatures situated around Pandora to remove the evil that has overtaken your planet.

The games can be played using a variety of controllers including the Wii Balance Board, which helps you fly.

Much of the game requires little thought and, like many games, most of it is just a matter of overcoming lots of enemies and avoiding being hit by enemy bullets, or avoiding detection or capture.

Along the game there are items that you can find as sort of side-quests, which do provide a bit of an increase to the difficulty of the game if you choose to seek out these items.

Grade: B- The graphics are pretty good, but not exceptional. The music is forgettable, and the game doesn’t require a lot of thinking. If you enjoy a shoot ‘em up kind of game that takes place in a newly-created world, you will enjoy this game.

GRIPMagazine

Off th

he Wall

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Got a question that no one can answer, or that you’re too Got a niggling question that no one that you’re afraid to ask your parents, teacher orcan bestanswer, friend?orSend it to us. too afraid to ask your units, teacher or best friend?

Send it to us.

We guarantee ­anonymity, and we’re beyond embarrassment.

We guarantee a ­ nonymity, and we’re beyond embarrassment.

We’ll find an expert to answer the most persistent question you We’ll an expert to answer the most persistent question you havefind related to any topic: relationships, school, sexuality, puberty, have related to any topic: relationships, school, sexuality, puberty, drugs, love, life, and the pursuit of happiness. drugs, love,are life,you andwaiting the pursuit So… what for? of happiness.

So… what are you waiting for?

Question: Days before a big exam I get really nervous. My hands shake, my heart beats really fast and I have trouble sleeping. thissome normal?

Question: A whileIsago kidsSleepless in on Examville were talking the bus about whether someone was circumcised or not. not.) They were talking like Dear(I’m Sleepless, being wasfor weird Examsuncircumcised can be a big stressor mostand gross.

Does it matter? of us and Lynne Goertzen, a registered –psychologist Denny Doesn’t at theKnow Calgary Counselling Centre, says getting nervous before a big Dear Denny, exam is normal. “The anxiety you’re feeling Itsometimes doesn’t really matter.when Sure,we there areto some comes need deal benefits of being circumcised; it reduces the with something that seems difficult or chalrisk of infections and STIs (sexually transmitted lenging,” she says. infections).

Butcramming that doesn’tfor mean better Turns out, a bigit’s exam or or more normal. having a standoff with your older brother “The of routinely circumcising chilafter hepractice found out you broke his favourite dren seems to come in andaout of vogue,” says headphones can cause similar biologiDr. Bochinski, Edmonton calDerek response calledanfight, flight orurologist. freeze.

“Often the decision circumcise not will “When we’re in realtodanger, thisor response depend whether the father has been can beon very adaptive,” Goertzen says.circumcised. certainly isisn’t not considered weird But thisItresponse always approtopriate. be uncircumcised.”

When you’re feeling anxious, give Chances aretoyou really as much a yourself time figure outaren’t whether you’re minority as youand think.

It used there to be that overreacting whether is a real circumcision was the status danger. Treating your bodyquo. andNow mindthat’s propchanged.

Nowhelp that’syou changed. erly can also cope. This includes Besides,eating Dr. Bochinski, report a exercise, properlysays and men expressing decrease in sensitivity after your feelings by talking tocircumcision. a friend, drawGood hygieneorlessens risk of infection in ing, writing, gettingthe creative. uncircumcised guys. start to significantly If anxious thoughts affect your normal activities, share your Question: parents are religious. feelings withMy a parent, another adult you I used to alike going to church with them, trust or counsellor.

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?

HELP wanTeD Question: Since my friend broke up with her boyfriend she told me that sometimes she drinks alone when she’s upset.

I’m worried.

What can I do but these days I don’t know if I believe to the help?

- Concerned in Carol in same things. How do I tell them I don’t wanna go to church?

–HiHester Carol, Hesitates Breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend is a Hey loss,Hester, and it sounds like your friend has a lot It’s importantattached to remember that any time It’s of emotions to this experience. parents arego concerned about you,and it’s sorrow, because normal to through confusion they care. The firstbetter thing you do is help but things do get overneed time.to“Grieving them see that, even thoughand yougrowth, might disamoves through to healing evengree onsays something, you care about them too. tually,” Goertzen.

Amanda provisional psycholThe trickHolowochuk, is to express those feelings in a ogist at Calgary Services, healthy way andCounselling not keep them inside.says “Alcothat young people need to be make open with parhol is a choice some people because ents their changing faith. difficult Don’t spring they about believe it will numb these emothe decision them.

That makes tions – to noton feel our feelings for agenuine while,” she spiritual concerns look like teenage rebellion. says. “The problem is that the feelings are teensthere engage parents in the still“Ifunder andtheir it doesn’t help us converdeal sation, they’re likelyterm.” to listen and respect with them overmore the long In fact, alcohol what teenager is saying,” Holowochuk oftenthe makes people feel even worse and can says. accepting your changing causeEven us tostill, make bad choices about how we beliefs takefeelings. time. So measure the pros and handlewill those cons youryour decision, says.

Soofgrab friendHolowochuk and try to find some That’s something youwith canher cover when you ways to help her cope feelings talk to your parents.

Andtobe sure to out out – exercising, listening music, or find writing what church really to your parents. “Is your thoughts are means just examples. it the actualsuggestions going to church orhelp, is it the family If these don’t you time?

Get to friend why they want youworto should talkclarity with as your about how attend,” Holowochuk.

You can that ried yousays are about her drinking.

Sheuse may info toto reach satisfying compromise.

Maybe need seekaout a trusted adult, teacher or you meet your afterwards gothis, with counsellor, butparents if she isn’t ready toordo them twice a month.

And reassure them that you may have to tell someone for her.

Question: My older brother just told

ourvalues familyhaven’t that he’s gay. just Does this your changed, your beliefs. mean I’m going turn gay, Like a lotthat of problems, thisto one getsout better too?

- Questioning Conrad by keeping the people that care about you in the loop.

Dear Conrad, Question: visible hair on my Many peopleI have wonder whether being gay or breasts, andinI’m a girl!genes, I’m worried lesbian runs a family’s or whether I’m a freak, worse, guy. friends, or hanging out or with gay or a lesbian –family, Hairywill Mary make them gay, too. “People don’t ‘inherit’ being gay or lesbian from their family,” Hi Mary, says. Nor do people choose to be Goertzen There arejust more girlsofwith gay. It’s a part whosome they hair are. around their nipples than youa think. just not something If you have goodIt’s relationship with your they talk about.

It isn’t freaky at all;you it’s totally brother, Goertzen encourages to talk to common.

It can be hard when think you are him. “It’s perfectly normal for you young people to developing different waysand thantoyour peers, think aboutintheir sexuality have quesbut don’t worry. tions about it, especially if someone close to You‘comes can always leave the stray hair them out,’just or shares that they are gay alone: it’s probably nowhere near as bad as or lesbian.” you She think.also says that having these thoughts There necessarily are a lot of ways to get rid gay, of thenor doesn’t mean you’re unwanted hair.

Probably best way to pluck should you worry aboutthe deciding on is your out the rebel hairs with However you own sexuality.

“You willtweezers. be whoever you were approach sensitive intended it, tobe becareful. and thatIt’s willa be exactlyarea! the right If it’sfor a you,” real problem, you canIfhave laser any thing Goertzen says. you have removal, butorthat’ll cost you a you questions concerns, talkaround with an$75 adult session.

Sometimes hair for growth trust. There is also aexcessive 24-7 help line the gay, can signalbisexual, a hormonal imbalance. Ifand youtransthink lesbian, transgendered you’re too much hair, you sexualgrowing community in Alberta that can can ask giveyour you gynecologist to check your hormone levels.

If advice, or help you access any services you itneed: is a hormone problem, your periods may be 1-877-OUT-IS-OK (688-4765). affected too.

Help Wanted is provided for general informational purposes only and is notfor intended replace Help Wanted is provided generalto informational consultations withisyour doctor orto toreplace provide medical purposes only and not intended consultations with your doctor or to provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Always seek the advice, or treatment.

Always seekhealth the advice advicediagnosis of your physician or other qualified of your physician or other qualified health provider with provider with any personal medical and health any personal medical and health questions that you questions may have. that you may have.

E-mail helpwanted@griponlife.ca E-mail helpwanted@griponlife.ca mail Help Wanted, c/o Grip Magazine oror mail Help Wanted, c/o Grip Magazine 10259-105 10259-105 St.St. Edmonton, T5J 1E3 Edmonton, ABABT5J 1E3

17 THE RELATIONSHIPS ISSUE The connections we make with the people around us are one of the best things in life. Relationships with friends, parents, siblings, boyfriends, girlfriends… they can make us feel great.

They can also be really tough. We fight with our friends. Our parents don’t understand. We love. We break up. We pull ourselves together. Then we do it all over again. Because we can’t deny it: relationships help us become the people we are meant to be.

FRIENDSHIP KNOWS NO BOUNDS

Two girls prove different cultures and religions can actually bring us closer

BIG BULLY

Are you being bullied? Take this quiz and then take action

NEW KID

I moved to a new city at the beginning of junior high… and survived!

HEART ON THE MEND

A breakup can feel like the end of the world. These tips will help you smile again

18 22 32 36 griponlife.ca

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Friendshipk

At AtKillarney KillarneyJunior JuniorHigh HighSchool Schoolin inEdmonton, Edmonton,students studentsin in the theArabic Arabicbilingual bilingualprogram programand andin inthe theLogos LogosChristian Christian education educationprogram programget getaachance chanceto tomeet meetand andbecome become friends. friends.Two Twostudents studentsspilled spilledabout abouttheir theirfriendship friendshipand and what whatthey theylearn learnfrom fromeach eachother other fatuma SAYS: Some people think that it would be hard to become friends with someone of a different culture and faith.

But actually it is really easy.

dy in e. I am 14 years old. I stu y name is Fatuma Ayanl ool Sch h Hig nded Killarney Junior the Arabic program and I atte two t tha of d Allison and I are living pro as a Muslim student. My frien but can become – ds frien be only not ds can people of different backgroun better friends. that our differences make us great friends. I actually think I was rney. I didn’t know anyone and I remember my first day at Killa about ry wor to any friends. But I didn’t have scared that I wouldn’t make are now t wha first time I sat with Allison and that for long, because after the and e tim the I started sitting with them all two of my other best friends, nity to make ortu opp an e ryon eve s give y rne now we are great friends. Killa help others and s er people’s beliefs and custom new friends, learn about oth some of ool sch have different programs in our understand your lifestyle. We and the Arabic programs. which are the honors, Logos one school to have all those programs in People may think it is a bit odd fine, it out k wor . The thing is that it doesn’t and expect it to work out fine allows us it ool, sch re are many programs in our works out great. Because the of friends. to have many different kinds ion and culerstanding of each other’s relig Allison I and have a better und we talk, it en Wh n and I am a Somali Muslim. ture. Allison is a Polish Christia re are some The life. efs are incorporated into her really interests me how her beli would you n tha mon there are more things in com differences between us but and ect resp our are t are important for both of us think. Some of the things tha have we it, ut abo k t we both pray. If you really thin love for our families, and tha than differences. more similarities between us n I needed someone difficult times in my life whe There have been some very a very good listener and ays been there for me. She is to talk to and Allison has alw makes me feel so much better.

M

GRIPMagazine

I am lucky to have such a good friend as Al lison. Our friends hip is very special each other’s fee . We understand lings and respec t each other. I thin unique because k our friendship is we enjoy being in each other’s com one of my best fri pany. Allison is ends and I am gl ad she is. At Killa diversity and en rn ey we celebrate courage it. If we can do it, then so people. If others ca n plenty of other could accept othe r people for who would all be frien th ey are, then we ds. I’ve learned a lot from Allison, has from me, ab an d I’m sure she out our different backgrounds.

I am truly lucky to be friends with Allison. We have in common that so much sometimes it fee ls lik e there are no di between us. I’m fferences sure that Allison and I will be frien long time. ds for a very

pknows no Bounds ALLISON SAYS:

By Fatuma Ayanle & Alliso n Sayers

H

ow many people can say one of their closes t friends is from a different background and culture than thems elves? I sure can!

My name is Allison Say ers. I am 14 years old and I am a Christian studen Killarney Junior High. I t at am part of a program at my school called the “Lo Program,” and guess wh gos at… one of my best frie nds is of a totally differe than I am. How cool is tha nt culture t?

For those is you who don ’t know, Logos is a progra m at many schools that brates the Christian bel celeiefs. “Logos” means the “word.” It’s a very approp for the program since we riate name follow the word of God. The first year I started at Killarney was my first yea r of junior high, grade sev knew lots of people, but en. I I never knew that there were going to be endles opportunities. At Killarn s friendship ey my classmates are int egrated from many pro Logos, Arabic, behaviour grams (like , honours and regular).

We have many opportunities new friends while sharin to make g each other’s backgroun ds. Many people would clusion that “wow that come to the conprobably doesn’t work very well, mixing people tures.” The funny thing from different culis, it works great. Our ma ny cultures and different fantastic together. Maybe backgrounds work because we are more sim ilar than we think.

Sometimes at Killarney friendships just happen when you don’t expect eating lunch with an old them. One day while friend, a new girl joined us for lunch. Soon the girl with us more frequently. sta rted to eat lunch Her name was Fatuma.

It was so neat because were of the same cultur mo st of my friends e as me, while she is from Somalia and has a belief am a Christian but I nev in the Mu slim faith. I er really noticed that we were different in any wa the same. y, we just felt so much The more Fatuma and I talked the more intereste d in her culture I was; it how her life was compar was fascinating ed to mine. She had suc h a coo l perspective on life tha to mine. We shared our t was so similar values in our faiths and discovered that they we faith in family, prayer and re ver y mu ch alike. Our friendship are important How many to us both. We got even had the same homeroom clo ser bec ause we and we shared almost eve people can say one of ry class together.

There have been many difficulties and struggles their closest friends is in both our lives during we have both leaned on those times and supported each other. She from a different background always knows what to say always makes me feel bet and ter. and culture than I am so happy to be her friend; I value our friends themselves? I sure can! hip so much because it unique, so special. When is so you look at the world tod ay you start to see more cul clashing instead of enjoyi tures ng each other’s compan y. My friendship with Fat the exact opposite. At Kill um a is arney we are encourage d to celebrate diversity a strength. We are an exa and use it as mple for the whole world.

Our friendship has surpas sed all boundaries. I am so pro ud to call Fatuma my frie nd.

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T A L E R

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RELATIONSHIP READY

By Rachel Hughes

H

ow can you really tell whether or not you are ready to become part of a romantic relationship? This is a question to which there is no specific answer. There is not a certain time or age that everyone is deemed “relationship ready.” It’s different for everyone and only you can know when that time will be for you. You simply need to feel comfortable with the idea of dating and be sure that this person is going to treat you with respect and kindness. Brian Parker, a counsellor and educator at Options Sexual Health Association in Edmonton, says you should follow your instincts. Not sure what your instincts are saying? A trusted adult might also be a good resource to help you figure things out because, hey, they were there once, too.

At times, we all feel pressured to be in a relationship. But there are advantages for both, being in a relationship and for being single.

Do I Date?

Dating can be a wonderful way to share your experiences with another person. You can express your feelings, thoughts and fears and form a meaningful bond just for the two of you. You can learn a lot from your boy/girlfriend. You could learn things about yourself – what you like and dislike in a relationship, how you feel about committing to another person – and you could also learn about romantic relationships. Your partner may present you with situations or problems that you can learn to solve together. The best way to learn how relationships work and how to work out issues is to experience them for yourself.

Dating can be fun and fascinating, but being single is also very advantageous. It can give you the opportunity to really explore who you are as a person and think about what you want out of life. Being single gives you the time to focus on yourself and grow as an individual, which would be more difficult to do while being part of a relationship. When you’re single, you aren’t bothered with a lot of the pressures that you may have to deal with while being in a relationship. Things like finding time in your schedule to spend with a boy/girlfriend, choosing sexual boundaries, dealing with a break up, etc. aren’t a worry, cutting down your stress significantly.

It’s crucial to find out which of these options is more beneficial to you to help you decide whether or not you want to date or be single.

GRIPMagazine

Getting into a romantic relationship is a big step and figuring out what to do, and not do, once you’re there can be even harder

Setting Boundaries

Once you are in a relationship, the question of sexual boundaries will most likely arise. Even if it isn’t expressed out loud, it is something that is often thought about by both partners in a relationship. It needs to be discussed.

Setting sexual boundaries is absolutely necessary in every romantic relationship. It is very important to set these boundaries before you have crossed them. This is something that can be awkward to talk about and you usually need something to break the ice, but bringing it up while, or just before, engaging in sexual activity is a bad idea. Once you get going, you may not stop in time and could very easily cross your boundaries in the process.

The best way to do this is to talk directly and openly to your partner. Having a long, uncomfortable conversation isn’t necessary. It can start with something like a simple question: Before things get too serious, can we talk? If a question doesn’t feel like the right way to go, you could try encouraging them to talk about it by mentioning something that relates to it – something you saw on TV, something a friend told you, etc. Make sure you discuss your partner’s boundaries as well, because you are asking them to respect yours and they would want you to respect theirs. Once you talk about it, some pressure will be off. You will just be able to relax and enjoy one another and won’t have to worry about stopping things before they go too far.

I H S N TIO FIGURE IT OUT

Here are a few questions you should ask yourself before you commit yourself to a romantic relationship:

Stick to Your Guns If you are in a situation where your boy/ girlfriend is pressuring you into going further than you want, or doing something you are uncomfortable with, the only way to deal with it is to speak up. “Never do something you’re not comfortable with, vocalize it,” says Parker. “The three key components for a healthy relationship are: open and honest communication, trust and respect for yourself and your partner.” It’s very important that you stand your ground and make sure your boundaries are known and heard. Parker says, “Your gut is going to tell you, this is right.”

If your partner can’t understand that, or isn’t willing to wait, it could be a sign that they don’t respect you and they may not be worth the trouble.

Am I ready?

Why do I want to be in this relationship?

What am I looking for in a partner?

Where do I expect this relationship to go?

Can I deal with the pressures that come with a relationship?

If we choose to be sexually active, what about protection from sexually transmitted infections and birth control?

Am I prepared to handle a breakup if this relationship fails?

Get Help Do you have any questions or concerns about relationships and you? Try these sources for answers and advice: www.sexualityandu.ca www.wontgetweird.com Kid’s Help Phone 1-800-668-6868 Health Link Alberta Calgary: 403-943-5465 Edmonton: 780-408-5465 Toll free: 1-866-408-5465

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BIG Bulli Anyone who has been picked on knows that words can hurt

GRIPMagazine

lies little teasing never hurt anyone, right?

Anyone who has been the target of a bully would disagree.

That kid in the sweat pants who eats lunch alone, the girl who started wearing a bra before anyone else and the skinny boy who got cut from the basketball team – they all know that teasing, especially when it happens again and again, can hurt.

When teasing continues it gets a new name. It becomes bullying and bullying can get serious.

Teens who are bullied might be afraid to go to school. When they’re at school maybe they have problems concentrating on work, or they don’t hang out with other teens because they want to avoid conflict. Sometimes, teens who are bullied get so sad that they might harm themselves, or others. “In the most extreme cases it can lead to depression and even suicide,” says Caroline Missal, who works for Alberta Education and is a co-leader of Alberta’s Prevention of Bullying Strategy. Basically, she works on ways to stop kids and teens from bullying each other.

Missal knows that some fighting and disagreement is normal in junior high and high school.

“Teens are trying to figure out who they are, where they fit and what their role is,” Missal says.

“There is a bit of fear of people who are different at that age.” This fear, she says, might lead one teen, or a group of teens, to pick on another.

While conflict and disagreements are normal, bullying shouldn’t be a normal part of your teen

years. If you are bullied, Missal says you should take these steps: 1) Tell the bully to stop and do it with confidence. This can be really hard, but it just might work. Try saying something like: “Stop it. I don’t like it when you do that.” It might be enough to get them to quit.

2) Walk away. If the bullying continues, leave the situation. Getting in a physical fight will just make the situation worse.

3) Tell an adult you trust. It could be your parent, a teacher, a school counsellor, a coach or even an older sister or brother. If that adult doesn’t know what to do, or tells you to ignore it, try someone else until you get the help that you need. “The most important point is to tell until someone listens and takes you seriously,” Missal says. After someone else knows about the situation they can help you develop a plan to deal with the bully.

Am I being bullied?

Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between bullying and some good-hearted teasing.

If you’re confused, ask yourself these questions. If you answer “yes” to them, chances are that you’re being bullied. Don’t be afraid to ask a trusted adult to help you out.

1) Do you feel afraid, scared or threatened?

2) Is the person who is picking on you doing it intentionally?

3) Are they doing it repeatedly?

4) Do they continue, even if you ask them to stop?

5) Does the person picking on you have more power in the situation? For example, are they bigger, older, stronger or more popular?

A Theme Bully You’ve definitely heard it in the hallway.

Chances are you’re even guilty of using it to describe the pop-quiz in math, or the rainy weather, or anything else that is getting you down: “Dude. That’s totally gay!”

Is it? Lindsay Whittaker doesn’t think so.

“Gay doesn’t equal stupid,” says Whittaker, who co-leads an effort to prevent bullying in Alberta. She explains that sexuality is one of the themes bullies often use to torment their victims.

Being a teenager is hard enough, but being a teen AND getting bullied about your sexuality can be torture. Teens who identify as gay, or lesbian, or bisexual, or trans-identified, or two-spirited, or queer, or are questioning their sexuality (let’s call it LGBTQ to make it easier) are way more likely to be the victims of bullying. LGBTQ teens are also way more likely to experience hostility at school, are more likely to be depressed and are more likely to drop out of school than teens who identify as heterosexual. Anyone who supports LGBTQ teens can be a target, too, and this isn’t cool, says Whittaker.

“Homophobic bullying isn’t just directed at those who are gay,” she says. “It is also those who may be perceived as gay, or different in some way.”

If you’re a target of homophobic bullying, know that you can reach out for help. And if you see it happening, don’t be afraid to tell the bully that it’s not OK.

Resources Bullying Helpline. It’s free and staff can direct you to the right resource: 1-888-456-2323 Info for teens about bullying and how to get help: www.b-free.ca Play an online game that helps you learn how to handle bullies: www.teamheroes.ca For LGBTQ youth: www.youthsafe.net

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24 Chances are, you’re not the only person looking at the pics from last weekend’s party on Facebook

C

an’t wait to get out of the house? If you and your friends are counting down the days until you graduate and move into residence at university, you’re not alone. Many teens dream of being unshackled form their parents and moving into res – a parent-free zone.

But what about those photos you’re tagged in on Facebook?

You know, the ones where you’re with your friends at that house party and things got out of hand. Sure, you didn’t tip over the couch, but you’re in the photo anyway. It’s probably time to take control of what you’ve posted online. Those res dreams might be just a dream

GRIPMagazine

Online? if you let yourself be tagged in a lot of party photos.

Lindsay Whittaker, Missal’s co-lead on bullying prevention, Many colleges and universities have started checking says that it’s also important to report online harassment to your Facebook to weed out partiers from their residence appliInternet service provider. Though most people might not think to cation, says Dorthe Flauer, executive director at Saffron, a report those problems to their ISP, Whittaker says police can use counselling centre in Sherwood Park. the added information and documentation to fix the problems.

It’s not just universities either. Employers are rifling Your personal information is just that – it’s yours. It doesn’t through social networks, like Facebook, Twitter and Nexopia, belong to the Internet and it doesn’t belong to people you’ve when they hire someone. The truth is, more people can access never met. When you’re techno-literate, an online wizard, it’s your photos and information online than you might think. “Think easy to forget how much of your personal information is going about the content,” Flauer says. “Teens need to know that employout into the world. Having multiple online identities means ers are checking Facebook.” putting out multiple amounts of information – information you The dangers of what info you put out into the digital universe are might want to keep private. wider and deeper than just missing out on a job opportunity or not getting into residence. Sexting, digital photos and posts on social networks can be found by shadier people than just your boss. Online CHECK IT OUT! bullies can access that information and post the most embarrassing MafiaBoy: How I Broke the Internet and Why photos of you they can find. Add those fears to the increasingly popuIt’s Still Broken Author: Michael Calce and Craig Silverman lar world of online dating, and you have a recipe for embarrassment Publisher: Viking Canada or disaster. Take back your personal information from the Internet’s greedy hands. “Set your privacy settings,” and keep checking them, Michael Calce (a.k.a. MafiaBoy) grew up in Flauer urges. “Facebook has a bad habit of changing privacy settings.”

Montreal where he learned, very young, how to Awareness is a key first step in cleaning your personal information hack into computer systems. At 15, after hacking off websites. Google lets you create an alert system, which will send Yahoo!, eBay and CNN’s websites, police raided you a notification whenever your name is posted on the Internet. Create Michael’s home. He pleaded guilty to 56 charges a Google Alert by searching for “your name” (use the quotation marks) and spent eight months in a group home facility. scroll to the bottom of the findings page and create an alert. If you have a He’s one of the good guys now and has written fairly common name, then search for “your name” in your city. For exama book, with tips on how to protect yourself online. Pick it up at your local library. ple: “John Smith” in Calgary. You’ll then receive emails when your name appears online.

Chances are you’ve got a few online identities. You have a Facebook account, free email hosting accounts, possibly a Digg and MySpace account, GO SAFE ONLINE a Flickr account and the list (probably) goes on. Each account holds different If you run into a problem on the Internet and need some amounts of information about you. If you stitch all that info together, some help, here are a few websites you can try. sketchy person could figure out a lot about who you are.

In Alberta, check out www.saffron-ssac.com.

“Once your information is out there, it will always be out there,” says CaroSaffron is based in Sherwood Park and has a lot of great line Missal, co-lead on the provincial bullying prevention strategy, which looks resources – including movies!

You and your parents should also have a look at at ways to get rid of bullying in Alberta. www.bewebaware.ca to find more tips and information Some websites, such as Atomkeep.com, let you manage each of your online about staying safe online. identities and organize your information. It’s good practice to scrub personal Steve Dotto has teamed up with the B.C. government. information, like your address and cell number, off the Internet. So keep tabs on They have an interactive website, www.learnnowbc. what information about yourself is available out there. ca/lnbcresources/cybersafe, with video information on everything from camera phones to Nexopia.

Missal was also a school principal before taking her job at Alberta Check out these tips from the land Down Under at Education. She says that saving screenshots of online bullying – like www.cybersmart.gov.au. Australia has launched a embarrassing online posts – and documenting the harassment, as hard as that full tips list that everybody should note when they’re might be emotionally, will help your school principal resolve the issue. And Misputting information online. sal would know, she’s worked there before. “Save the messages,” she says. Learn to save screenshots of posts on social networking sites and blogs as PDFs.

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Friends

By Caitlin Hart

When my best friend and I moved into junior high we started hanging in different social groups.

Was the friendship over?

Hardly. We found a way to make it work

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riendship in high school and friendship in kindergarten are two vastly different situations. Recently, I introduced a five-year-old family friend to our neighbour and, because they are both five and both of them were wearing Vans, they were best friends at once. But imagine having the same situation replicated in high school. “You’re 16? Same! Wait, I’m wearing Lacoste as well!” I can almost guarantee your new prospective friend will turn the other way and tell their friends about the weirdo they just met.

It is true that friendships can get messy and difficult the older you get. Sometimes the fights can become downright petty. Upon entering junior high, my best friend Averie and I found that we fit into different social groups and that can be even harder on a friendship than physical distance. The social distance can put a strain on you, your friend and even your self-esteem.

s First No matter what either of us tried (forcing the I think all that fighting in our friendship, as well as with other friends, is really groups together, trying to assimilate into each othwhat has made those people my true friends, and why those relationships have er’s friend circles, hanging out outside of school), lasted. I know, ridiculous, right? How does fighting make anything better? I see it just wasn’t working and we fought constantly. most of you telling me, “No, no, no! My friend and I fought over [insert problem We were still friends, still there for each other, but here] and we can’t even look at each other any more!” True, that happens, but every time we were together, it was like there was how strong was that friendship to begin with? I’m not saying you need to start something between us. When we spoke, we were fights – because fights hurt. Avoid conflict with friends, especially over tiny on different wave lengths. We didn’t know the same things. But I believe any friend worth the time will still be there after you have people or tell the same kind of jokes. unleashed your most awful, cowardly, angry-word venom at them because, Luckily, while other friends grew apart through before then, haven’t you meant everything to each other? Why should your the course of junior high, Averie and I remain best (brutal and untactful) honesty hurt them for more than a day? Those fights friends. How, you might ask, would two people make your friendship stronger: you understand how the other feels. Now, you remain friends after such a drawn-out fight? The can also say you’ve survived one more thing together. truth is, building true friendships means a test of You grow a lot in your teen years and one of the areas you grow the most time – the longer you know someone, the more in is friendship. You learn what is important, what type of friends you like committed you are to making it work out. For Averie and need and who is truly important to you. Some people will grow apart, and I, that meant keeping our new friends, as well but anyone true will not make an easy break away from you. You’re young. as building more mutual friends and finding time We’re young. Chances are your boyfriend or girlfriend will not be your for just the two of us. A true friend lasts and lasts significant other in 10 years, but hold on to your friends because the good through the years and that’s why, dear ones, even ones will definitely be sticking around. after all the things that came between us, we are still so tight. When a friendship is stronger and speaks louder than a fight ever could, that friendship lasts.

Qualities of a True Friend Honesty. A true friend will always be open with you, even if the truth kind of sucks sometimes.

Support. Even when your dreams seem over the top, or you’re in a funk you can’t beat, a true friend will be by your side.

Fun. There are tons of serious qualities that a friend should have, but they’re a drag if you can’t laugh and throw around some inside jokes!

Respect. It’s completely crucial that you and your friend both have not only a tolerance for your differences in ambitions and in religion/ race/sexuality/whatever, you really have to respect a person before you can love them and call them a true friend.

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f o e l c y C S

o, you’ve finally found it. A relationship.

Now you’re supposed to fall in love, right? You’re supposed to be happy. But what if you’re not?

One in 10 high school students has experienced some sort of relationship violence, according to Alberta Health Services. Guys, girls, straight and gay teens have all reported experiencing relationship abuse, so it’s something for everyone to think about. Grip magazine had a chance to talk to Heather Cobb, a sexual health promotion specialist with Alberta Health Services, about what makes a healthy and an unhealthy relationship.

“A good relationship should make you feel happy,” Cobb says. This, she says, is the most important truth about healthy relationships. It seems obvious, but sometimes teens stick around in relationships that aren’t following this simple rule.

Of course there will be a few bad days here and there but, for the most part, Cobb says relationships should be fun. “If you aren’t looking forward to spending time with this person, that’s a [bad] sign,” she says.

The person you’re dating should make you feel good about yourself and you should be benefitting them in the same way. A healthy relationship will include mutual respect, trust, attraction, honesty and kindness. It’s also important to remember that, in a healthy relationship, you both have an equal role and there’s room for each individual to be their own person.

Cobb is also quick to point out that these qualities hold true to multiple relationships, not just the romantic kind. It’s important to have healthy relationships throughout your life with friends and family members. Relationships of all kinds are supposed to benefit our self-esteem and when we find that this isn’t the case, it’s time to sit down and talk about what changes can be made.

Abuse within relationships can take on a number of forms, but in most cases it escalates slowly. Physical abuse includes the use of force, like hitting or kicking. It can also include the threat of force. While it may be easier to see the signs of physical abuse, emotional abuse can be less obvious. Emotional

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The signs of an unhealthy relationship aren’t always as apparent as you might think abuse attacks a person’s self-esteem instead of their body, but it causes its own damage. It can include verbal abuse such a name-calling, or it can be things like put-downs, guilt tripping or the silent treatment. Sexual abuse can be seen as a combination of physical and emotional abuse and it happens any time a partner forces any kind of unwanted sexual activity on their girlfriend or boyfriend.

The abuse in unhealthy relationships often takes shape in a particular cycle. First, there is an incident of abuse and it’s followed immediately by the abusive partner attempting to make up for it. They may apologize and promise it won’t happen again. Then, there is a period of calm, often called the “honeymoon period.” Everything seems great as both partners begin to forget the abuse. The abuser may give gifts and he or she may even follow through on their promises of changes. However, the tension in the relationship will begin to build again. Eventually, there is another incident of abuse and the cycle starts all over again.

This cycle can help explain why people stay in unhealthy relationships.

The making up, and especially the honeymoon period, can keep someone hoping that their partner can change – or that they can change their partner.

In other cases, abused partners can simply be afraid to leave. Maybe they fear their abusive partner will make things worse if they tried, or they’re not even sure how to leave. Sadly, some teens, and even some adults, don’t know how to identify abuse. They may simply believe that this is what a relationship looks like, perhaps because they witnessed or experienced abuse growing up. Whatever the case or the fear may be, it’s important to put your needs and safety first and leave an unhealthy relationship.

Cobb suggests that talking about your abuse is the first step to getting out of an abusive relationship. Maybe this means talking to your partner about their behaviour, but this could also mean talking honestly to a friend about it. “Sometimes you need someone to give you a wake up call,” she says. Other options include school counsellors, teachers or your parents.

There are also help lines or websites that offer other helpful resources (see the sidebar for examples).

If you think a friend may be in an unhealthy relationship, talk to them about it. As a friend, it’s your responsibility to ask them some serious questions, especially if the situation looks like it’s escalating. Always be ready to listen to a friend, believe them and let them know that it’s not their fault.

Human beings are social animals and relationships are meant to make us happy, but when they don’t, it’s time to speak up and get out.

Warning Signs It’s not always easy to spot an abusive relationship. If you witness one or more of these behaviours in your partner, it’s time to call it off: • They put you down, call you names or criticize you (maybe even in public) • They threaten you, others, property or even themselves • They are extremely jealous or possessive • They try to control who you hang out with and may even try to stop you from spending time with your family and/or friends • You feel pressured to be sexual with them or to cross your own personal boundaries • They always want to know where you are and who you are with • They believe they have more rights than you in the relationship • Things get serious really quickly

Reach Out There are many different resources for help if you think you, or a friend, is involved in an unhealthy relationship.

Connect: Family and Sexual Abuse Network - Alberta www.connectnetwork.ca 1-877-237-5888 National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline 1-866-331-9474 www.loveisrespect.org Love Is Not Abuse www.loveisnotabuse.com The Red Flag Campaign www.theredflagcampaign.org Kids Help Phone - Alberta 1-800-668-6868 www.kidshelpphone.ca Distress Centre - Calgary Main line: 403-266-1605 Teen Line: 404-264-TEEN (8336) Family Violence Info Line: 403-310-1818 The Support Network - Edmonton Main line: 780-482-HELP (4357) Child Abuse: 1-800-387-KIDS (5437) www.thesupportnetwork.com Sexual Assault Centre of Edmonton 24-hour crisis line: 780-423-4124 www.sace.ab.ca

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Shining When I began to think about suicide, I knew it was time to reach out for help.

A mentor helped me find a better way to live

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ave you ever had somebody save your life? I have.

I never knew what life was like until I met Katie. She is a youth worker with Youth Unlimited, and she came to the rescue when I called my pastor from school and told him I was thinking of suicide. He called her and she showed up. I have no idea why, but I thank God she did.

I started cutting myself in grade eight. I was caught in a vicious cycle of self-harm that had my heart on lock-down. I tried everything I was told to do as an alternative stress release, but nothing gave me the same temporary satisfaction. I was crossing lines I never thought I would have crossed before.

Then in spring of 2010, I decided I was going to end it all.

But Katie showed up that day at school to talk to me, and invited me to hang out at Youth Unlimited with her, the other youth workers and other teens. I didn’t want to at first, but I did. Then I started going regularly. At first, I stood around and tried not to be noticed. I stuck by Katie’s side and trusted that she wouldn’t leave me to be alone. And she didn’t.

My favourite group activity at the youth centre is baking club. A bunch of us meet in the kitchen at the youth centre after school every Monday. Katie leads us and we bake for hours. My favourite recipes are the cheddar apple muffins and the vegan lemon poppy seed loaf. During baking club one day, all of us youth just... connected. I, out of the blue, made friends. I never knew true friendship existed until I met them. We pray together, laugh together, cry together and go on adventures together. One of the adventures that I will never forget is when we all piled into my car and bought Katie a fish for her office. She didn’t know we were going to, but we just did. His name is Mr. Peter Cheffield Moo.

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By Jennifer Pothier

My favourite part about hanging out with Katie is adventure Wednesdays.

I approached Katie one day and asked her if she would take me to the hospital where my grandma had died a year and a half ago. I needed to be there without it being a traumatic experience, in hopes that I would feel better about the awful memories I have of that day. I was so terrified to go there, but Katie came up with a great way to turn this experience into an adventure. We went to the store, bought a bunch of flowers, and then gave a flower or two to patients that were in the hospital.

It was, indeed, an adventure. We had fun and I got to be in the place where my grandma died again without having a breakdown. We started a semiregular tradition of adventure Wednesdays. The last adventure we went on, we brought along my friend and the three of us went to the youth emergency drop-in shelter. We got a tour of the building and we got information about how the youth emergency shelter helps teenagers who don’t have a place to go during the day.

Katie has been so good to me during the time I have known her. I have a lot of anxiety attacks and whenever I have one at Youth Unlimited she is right there to help me through it and to pray. Recently, she was there while I was experiencing a “grief burst.” She listened to me yell at her because I was afraid of what was happening in my mind. When I was crying and saying “nobody cares,” she put her hand on my shoulder and said,“I care.”

Katie gave me a piece of wood one day and said,“Paint this.” So I went home, and I threw my feelings all over that canvas. Now it is on display in her office.

She gave me the confidence to try to learn to draw and now I can draw a dog.

She gave me an amazing picture of a tree that she drew with Bible verses written around it. I have it hanging next to my bed, and I read the verses every time I feel lonely. It reminds me that she cares about me and that Jesus loves me.

That means so much.

I still have a lot of work to do. I struggle with my anxiety attacks, but the mentorship that Katie offers me makes life so much easier. I know that I can tell her anything and I can trust that she is not going to judge me or treat me like others have in the past. I trust her more than any other person in my life.

I am working hard in school now, so that I can be a youth worker just like Katie. I want to change a kid’s life one day, just as much as she has changed mine. Looking at myself now, it doesn’t seem like I have changed. I still look the same, and I still wear scars on my arms that tell a story of a kid who is in a lot of pain. But on the inside, I am a better person. I still feel the same pain, but now I know how to deal with it. Instead of cutting myself, I can make adventure Wednesday plans, text Katie for a good Bible verse suggestion, or see her the

next day at the youth centre to get a big hug. She has taught me so much, and even if one day we are no longer in contact with each other, I will never forget the footprint that she has left in my heart. I thank God every day for Katie, and that will never change.

Resources for Healing There are always lots of positive ways to deal with sadness and depression, even if it feels like there is nowhere to turn. Here are five effective ways that worked for me.

1. Go to school Teachers may get upset if you fall asleep, they assign homework and sometimes they can be a pain, but teachers genuinely care about their students. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t be teachers. Try to find a teacher who you can talk to. Ditto goes for school counsellors. Like teachers, they do care about students. They are there to help you and they can help you find resources outside of school if you need them.

2. Hang out with good people The friends you hang out with have a lot to do with how you feel emotionally. Try and find a solid group of friends who care about you and want to help you. If you don’t have any of your own, come hang out at Youth Unlimited. Go to www.yfced.com to find out about the programs Youth Unlimited offers. Or, look for another team, club or youth group where you can meet new people.

3. Call a help line Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868 Kids help phone has a team of amazing counsellors who are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week, even on holidays. They can give you advice and support and they also have a massive database full of local help for you.

4. Seek spirituality Some people find God, or other spirituality, to be extremely helpful in times of need. Embracing spirituality can also help you find other like-minded people to reach out to when you need support or guidance. Maybe this is a good time to reconnect with your childhood church, mosque, synagogue or temple, or to seek out a new path. When you find the right fit for you, you won’t be disappointed.

5. A supportive family Try to reach out to even one family member. Guardians and other caregivers can provide love and support, too. Siblings are great companions.

If you are like me and have a good relationship with your siblings, they provide great support and can sometimes even be best friends. If you don’t have any siblings, consider showing some love to your family pet. griponlife.ca

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New Kid

What seemed like a million unfamiliar faces

turned around to stare at me. I was the new kid in junior high

and I lived to tell about it

By Sydney Kang

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hen I walked into the room, what seemed like a million faces turned to look at me. I stopped at the door and looked around; everyone had already resumed talking to each other. The fact that I didn’t have anybody to talk to made me shiver. Slowly, I approached a desk near the middle of the room, hoping that someone would call for me to sit next to them. This didn’t happen and I sat down, keeping to myself. Would I ever meet anyone I could relate to in this jungle of a classroom?

Starting a new school year is always hard. You never know if the year is going to go the way you planned. You don’t know which teachers you are going to have, who is going to be in your classes or what extracurricular activities you are going to join. Starting a brand new school adds even more craziness to this hectic sea of questions.

Being the new kid is never easy. Whether you are the most outgoing person ever, or super shy, the new kid ‘what ifs’ are something that you cannot avoid. What if I have no friends? What if nobody likes me? What if I get made fun of? Although these are completely natural questions to ask, they can add unnecessary stress to your life.

I have never been more nervous than on the day I started school for the first time in Calgary. Having just moved, I didn’t realize that I would be attending junior high. The first day of school came around and I walked into the school. It seemed like it was swarming with

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kids, somehow too big and too small all at once. All the students were rounded up into the gym and we were given our homerooms. I stood without saying anything and followed my group to the classroom. After the teacher introduced himself he asked us to introduce ourselves, adding which school we came from.

This was a chance for me to see who knew each other and who was just as lost as I was. It turned out that almost everybody was from the same school. This seemed like a disaster for me; all of them seemed to be friends with at least a couple others in the class.

I didn’t think that they would accept me as their friend. Luckily for me, there was one other person in my class who was probably thinking the same thing. She had also moved that summer and was new to Calgary. I felt relieved that I had found someone who was in the same situation as I was. When it came time to pick a locker partner we were in mutual agreement that we should pick each other.

When I look back now, I cannot believe that I was ever nervous about all those ‘what ifs,’ but it is something that every new kid goes through. If you are a new kid, you have absolutely no idea what is going to happen on your first day. This is one of the scariest things to experience and it doesn’t help if people are not willing to accept you.

The first day done, I was feeling pretty good about going to a new school. Most of the nervousness was gone and a lot more excitement replaced it. The second day I walked in with confidence and sat down. That day, we got a group project. It was a simple project to

help us get to know each other, but it still required groups.

The teacher picked our groups, much to my disappointment, and I got put in a group with no one that I had talked to before. With a smile on my face, I looked around optimistically, thinking that maybe one of these people would end up being my friend.

Unfortunately, the members of my group knew each other from previous years and I was the outsider in the group. I felt left behind and useless. By the end of the day I was ready to go home and never come back. But, of course, I had to come back. I faced the next couple of days with a grim outlook.

When this sort of situation occurs the worst thing to do, I found, is to isolate yourself. This could cause people to assume you want to work on your own and they’ll leave you alone, hurt and frustrated. A better way to deal with

If you are the new kid,

just remember one thing:

you will survive. a situation like this is to offer things you’re good at. If your group is making a poster and you are good at drawing tell them that. Then you can ask them to help you, too.

Throughout that first year of junior high as I made more friends I got much more comfortable in the school and in the city. This experience helped me to realize how hard it really is to reach out when you are new. I had never really been the new kid before and therefore did not have to worry about it before then.

If you are the new kid, just remember one thing: you will survive. The worst thing you can do is give up. Keep trying to reach out to people and eventually they will reach out to you, too. Even if you are not the new kid, if you see someone in your class you have not seen before, reach out and be the first one to say “hi.” It makes a huge difference between just Hey, New Kid getting through the first day Starting at any new school is stressful and scary, but here and having a great one. are some things you can do to When the end of the school meet new friends: year finally came and exams Try out for a sports team and classes were finished, Join a club everybody celebrated. It felt Attend school events Look for other new kids great to have finished my first Be open and inviting – start a conversation year of junior high in a brand at your locker or the water fountain new city and, unlike the first A simple compliment goes a long way day, I had plenty of people to Always be yourself celebrate with. griponlife.ca

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How old is old enou Romantic relationships take a lot of maturity, so it’s better to wait until you are 16 or older to date.

Grip assigned two teens to argue on opposite sides of a pointed problem, just for the fun of an argument They didn’t get to choose their side; we flipped a coin By: Varda Khan and Sam Taylor “Maturity is needed to be in a committed relationship,” writes Varda Khan.

“When a teen dates when they are too young they are more likely to change themselves for the other person.”

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Being in a romantic relationship takes a lot of maturity. With this in mind, it is better to not date until you are 16 or older. By waiting until you are more mature to date, it gives you time to stay single and enjoy the life of being single.

There are many advantages to staying single.

First off, staying single gives you more freedom. You can live life how you want. It is better to know who you are before you start dating, so that you will never have to be in a relationship that makes you act as a different person. The reason to wait to date until you’re older is that this gives you more freedom to live a carefree life. Staying single means you won’t need to worry how your “other half” feels if you do something. You will also have more time to try new things, like joining sport teams or persuing hobbies. Staying single also means more time to spend with your family, who will always love you. Being single can also lead to mental health benefits. If you date when you are older, then you don’t have to feel stressed out, jealous or even suspicious of your boy/girlfriend’s actions.

Dating when you are more mature also leads to spending more time with your friends. If you date when you are young and ignore your friends you might not have friends when you need them most. When teens date when they

are too young they are more likely to a change themselves for the other person. These changes can lead to the desertion of friends, the change of ones’ personality and the annoyance of family members. Not having a good relationship with friends in your teens can lead to loneliness and sadness.

Waiting to date also helps you develop the skill of being independent. You can start to be more confident in yourself and this will lead to a life filled with your own decisions. Someone who is older is able to make better decisions about being in a relationship because they know if their life is going wonderfully, or not. Many people who date while they are not yet mature can become overly dependant on their partner.

Maturity is needed to be in a committed relationship.

What could be the consequences if you start dating too young? Well, they could include: fewer friends who you can actually go to for help, less confidence, inability to handle the mental tension needed to be in a relationship and less independence. A person who starts to date after the age of 16 has a better chance of being in a fully committed relationship, as well as committed to the betterment of their own life.

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YES

aid(x2)

ES

ugh to date?

“Having relationships earlier allows you to begin relationships with the help of your parents and without the chance that you’ll go behind their backs,” writes Sam Taylor.

L.O.V.E. is a major part of every human fantasy and fairy tale. Little girls grow up dreaming of princes and knights in shining armour. Movies and songs tell tales of love lost, gained and cherished. But when is an appropriate age to become involved in a relationship? Parents face this dilemma constantly and many are torn between parental instinct and what truly is better for their child.

Dating at an earlier age allows those involved to gain experience, become comfortable and aware of their boundaries. Also, relationships out in the open are safer and easier to handle. I wasn’t allowed to date until I was 16, but I went behind my parents back and did so anyways. I was tired of having my older friends talk about their boyfriends and I felt like I was being left out and cheated of an experience everyone else was having.

I began to resent my parents rules and, consequently, became involved with a boy who was four years older than me. I made some poor decisions and I know that if I had been allowed to date earlier, with my parents more involved in the situation,

I would not have been caught in the relationship I got tangled in. Or, at the very least, I would have had a strong, experienced support system to help me with the pain I felt after we broke up. Having to deal with your first break up all alone is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

Having relationships earlier allows you to begin relationships with the help of your parents and without the chance that you’ll go behind their backs. This allows you to establish your own boundaries and become strong enough to inform your parents of your relationship. Being closely involved with someone who is not in your family can be tough. It is even tougher, and takes a lot of courage, to ask for help with relationships from your parents. However, in the long run, asking for help would ultimately be the healthiest choice because facing the world alone is a near impossible thing to do.

Dating earlier allows you to gain more experience, establish boundaries and maintain an adult support system throughout. Relationships take time and practice and they can be very hard on your well-being, but we date to have fun. We date to feel love and to give love and the earlier we start the earlier we can realize what love is and what it is not.

Relationships out in the open are safer and easier to handle.

I wasn’t allowed to date until I was 16, but I went behind my parents back and did so anyways.

NO

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Heart o

Been there, done that. A Grip reader gives her top tips for moving on after a breakup

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reakups are tough! Sometimes you won’t understand what went wrong, and usually you wish you could go back and fix things. Regardless, there’s a point in the recovery process where you just need to build your bridge and get over it, so follow these top 10 tips for getting over a breakup.

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Pour your he art onto pape r Open up that old journal (or fire up the computer) and sp ill your soul onto the pages (or the sc reen). Don’t wor ry about how it sounds; it’s like a rough draft – you just need to get it all out. Do ing this can help you orga nize your though ts and it can offer you a new perspective .

to ies mor ening ex’s e me self by list r h u t o gy ll Hide ture your visitin tes? Put a e r r r o o t , u t n a i ox e b m Why p e f o sho n re couple r in a ng” o e o y s r h / e r v u r m e i “yo of h age r you ook p nders asement o d.

Faceb sical remi b r ite s u i hy in yo t unv your p at box be safe bu h t e id ill and h e it w wher , t e s clo

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Give each other space and time akup was Even if the decision to bre y are being the are s nce cha a, their ide h other eac affected by it, too. Giving your out t sor to e some space and tim with an e clos ng Bei ial. ent feelings is ess gs thin y make ex after splitting will onl end ld cou you potentially awkward and re. up missing them even mo

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nd Talk to a frie te – la re who can t n’ ca ho and one w art he ot-t ar he od Have a go en be s ha with a friend who of nd ki e through the sam be able thing. They will ggesting su by u to help yo get over things they did to end who fri a it. Then talk to h the ug ro th hasn’t been as you – g in th of nd same ki a u new they can offer yo They may it. perspective on positive e or m h have a muc n and tio ua sit e th view of flaws of you will find a lot by y pl in your ex sim eakup to explaining the br the friend.

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se Immer lf in e s r u yo ies activit h other it w lf e rs you Distract le p g as sim somethin r u o y ing out ur as clean o y g in walk closet or as use this dog. Or, try to y it n u rt an oppo ht ig m g you somethin ted during glec have ne . Take tionship la re the ll occer ba out the s to d e ays us you alw run d n a und kick aro r gers ove your fin nce o s o key the pian the d n fi l ou’l again. Y and g freshin escape re g.

satisfyin

on the Mend

BY Katherine Abbass

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Make a list of their flaws You’ll see that your ex really wasn’t the perfect person you thought they were. Take a look at your standards list, too. Remind yourself, “I can do better. Why lower my standards when I know there is the perfect match for me out there somewhere?”

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Learn from it Now that the relationship is over, you have time to think about things, like what went wrong, and what went right, in the relationship. Reflecting on the relationship will help you to do better in the next one. As you date more, you gain more experience. This isn’t suggesting that you become a serial dater, but you will learn something from each relationship you go through.

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Create the playlists You know the on es I’m talking abou t. Put together two: on e for crying it out and one for staying strong .

Music has a huge effect on a pers on’s mood, so make sure you don’t listen to the sad songs on re peat.

Throw in some upbeat music to lift your spirits.

it make il you l e ’t fe t i on’t Fake e, you w being r a s e c and Chan miling t this h like s c kup, bu s to u a m e r o b to e h t ay r w e afte hiest positiv e healt h t miling f s o f o e on ction a e h can be t t inking r it. Jus into th in get ove a r b r l you can foo happy. ctually a e you’r

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Get as much closure as you can ty to talk If you have the opportuni they’ve If it. e tak it, ut abo to them to, now d said everything they nee and up m the l it’s your turn. So cal h wit et me can you e arrange a tim to nce cha a e hav you t tha them so you’ve said put it all out there. Once you can to, d everything you nee ts of the par d goo the look back on ed that ind rem be and p shi relation l had stil even when it’s over, you some fun times.

I MESSAGES Lots of time, when you’re in a fight with someone you care about, it’s super easy to blame them for everything. But more than likely, pointing the finger will just make the other person even more angry, as they try and deny whatever they’re being accused of. In an argument, try focusing on “I” statements that describe how their behaviour makes you feel, rather than “you,” as a way to lay blame. This could help you get your message across, without escalating the argument.

For example: Not “You broke your promise.” But “I feel really hurt.”

Not “You cheated and lied.” But “I am feeling betrayed.”

Not “You’re a jerk.” But “I feel like I will have a hard time trusting you again.”

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38

Shhhhh

Keeping a secret can be a big responsibility. A Grip writer asks her friends to weigh in on when to keep quiet and when you should blab

F

rodo Baggins carries the One Ring.

Hamlet feigns insanity. Bella Swan is dating a vampire.

We don’t have to be Frodo, Hamlet or Bella to have secrets – everyone’s had them. Secrets can strengthen or hurt a relationship. They can be trivial, or earth-shattering. They can be anything.

What is a secret?

Secret: (n) something known only to a certain person or persons and purposely kept from the knowledge of others.

Secrets are tricky. So I’ve enlisted the help of several friends to figure out when they should be told and how they could help, or hurt, relationships.

How important is trust in a relationship?

Pretend you are building a bridge. If you were making a regular bridge, you would need materials to keep your bridge from collapsing. You would be connecting two physical land masses.

The bridge you’re making here is different because this bridge is the kind that emotionally connects people. It isn’t one of steel and wood: it’s a bridge of trust.

Trust is very important. Caitlin Ryan-Jean notes,“I’d say trust is the number one thing you need to keep any relationship going. If you don’t trust each other then, in a way, you don’t respect each other and [if] the respect isn’t there, the relationship isn’t going to work at all.”

“People have opened up to me countless times when I have opened up to them,” Meera Dave explains. “This sort of builds a bridge of trust between you and this person, and a deeper understanding – it has made me feel like I’m not alone.”

Build your bridge with words and actions – interaction between you and the other person. Treat your link carefully, because without this bridge you have no way to get from one side to the other.

When trust is broken, your bridge collapses; there’s no longer a connection between you and the other person. Nicole Johnston describes this:“When friends stop trusting each other it pretty much ruins the friendship. You stop talking and sharing [as much] with the other person, and a huge impassable crevice opens up and boom [you’re] trying to talk to someone who seems a mile away.” Meera elaborates:“When the trust is broken, it’s really hard to deal with… Having said this, it’s worth the jump because you’ll find some people stick around and create something beautiful with you.”

When should you keep a secret?

I have an eating disorder. When I tell this to someone, I find it strengthens my relationship with him or her. I realize that if this person were to find out at some other time in the future, they would feel betrayed. Sometimes I feel guilty keeping this secret from them. I don’t want my relationship damaged by my secret, so I tell.

Bobbi-Jo Hennigar summarizes,“A secret can be kept if it will hurt when told,

GRIPMagazine

h, I’ve got a secret

BY LEANNE KLIMEK but will not leave a betrayal when found out.” Bobbi continues to explain that gossip, bad comments or damaging opinions should be kept secret. “If it’s something you feel guilty for not telling, then it needs to come out. But if it is something you would not want them to tell you if the tables were turned, then don’t make trouble.”

Sometimes, whether or not a secret should come out depends on the people involved and how each person thinks or behaves. Samantha Khaw doesn’t believe there are any rules about when to tell or keep a secret. “[It’s] all situational,” she says,“but I think there are definitely times when a secret needs to be kept, as well as times a secret needs to be exposed.”

Can secrets be harmful?

As the telling of secrets can build trust, secrets can also be harmful to the bridge you’ve created.

If secrets – even small ones – have been kept too long, they can be damaging.

Heather’s significant other, Jim, has been keeping secrets. He dislikes the way Heather gossips and surreptitiously thinks she has a crush on his best friend. One might see how these secrets, when compounded with other stressors, could ruin Heather’s relationship with Jim. If Jim had brought these small secrets to Heather’s attention as he’d started worrying about them, it’s possible their relationship might survive.

Large secrets could also be detrimental to a relationship. If Heather has been sneaking out at night to be with Jim, it may very likely crack the bridge of trust she has with her parents (who expect her to be home sleeping at two o’clock in the morning). This secret could be particularly damaging if Heather’s parents were to find out through a source other than Heather – a neighbour, for example.

Secrets can be harmful physically, too. Heather begins using drugs as a coping mechanism after her breakup with Jim and her friend Gretchen suspects it. Gretchen keeping this secret could be dangerous to Heather’s well-being.

Which brings me to my next point.

When should you tell a secret?

Without question, a secret should be told when you suspect something is wrong. Nicole explains:“If you feel worried or concerned for your friend about a secret she has told you, you should trust your instincts.”

If you’re concerned, whether about something you’ve been told or something you suspect, it’s best to approach a trusted friend or adult “preferably someone uninvolved who doesn’t know the person,” Nicole advises.

It’s important to take action. “If they’re my friend,” Nicole continues,“I care more about their mental and physical safety than how much they like me.” Keeping a secret “shouldn’t mean [sacrificing] your own integrity,” she adds.

Be true to what you believe is right. If keeping a secret means surrendering your moral judgment, tell it.

To tell or not to tell

Sometimes you should tell a secret, while other times you need to keep the trust. Asking yourself these questions will help you figure out the best course of action. And remember, if you’re worried that someone is going to harm themselves, or others, you should always talk to an adult you trust.

• Will my situation or someone else’s be improved if I tell this secret?

• Am I concerned about the mental and/or physical safety of the person this secret is about?

• How would I feel if this secret was about me and someone else told it?

• Do I feel guilty about keeping this secret?

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Fan FARE

N R E H T R O N sounds

By Jasmine Salazar

In Disguise: Ghostkeeper (left to right) Scott Munro, Jay Crocker, Brad Hawkins, Shane Ghostkeeper and Sarah Houle.

Fresh off a Polaris Prize nomination, Ghostkeeper proves that big things can certainly come from small places

t was only three years ago that Calgarybased Ghostkeeper graced the music scene and already the group has gained national recognition for its merits. Earlier this year, Ghostkeeper’s self-titled second album made it onto the long list for the prestigious Polaris Prize. If you’re not familiar with the prize, it’s basically Canada’s equivalent of the Grammys, but for indie musicians. This puts Ghostkeeper alongside the esteemed ranks of other top Canadian indie artists, including Tegan and Sarah, The New Pornographers, Crystal Castles and Broken Social Scene.

Ghostkeeper was originally known as Children of the Great Northern Muskeg, or Muskeg Kids for short, and it started off with just Shane Ghostkeeper on vocals and guitar and Sarah Houle on drums and vocals.

Jay Crocker (second guitar and backup vocals) and Scott Munro (bass and backup vocals) did not join until a bit later, after Shane met Jay at a show. The following week, Shane and Sarah, who are dating, invited Jay and his girlfriend over for dinner. “We asked him if he wanted to make some interesting, adventurous music with us and he was all for it. No questions asked,” says Shane.

Ghostkeeper is signed with Calgary record label Flemish Eye, but the band has a very distinctive sound from its other label mates, which include Chad VanGaalen and Women.

It is a sound that Shane attributes to his small-town upbringing. Although the band is now Calgary-based, band members Shane and Sarah were both raised in small northern Alberta towns – High Level and Paddle Prairie, respectively.

The sound Ghostkeeper produces is an inviting combination of raw, traditional country, some of it influenced by Shane’s Métis upbringing, with a more recent independent rock sound. The result? A sound that is completely their own. “Being from High Level, I was raised to make my music based totally on my own experience, my own story, my own emotion, my own ideas,” Shane says. “It’s definitely given me a creative advantage.”

However, it hasn’t always been easy for Shane and his band members. They’ve had to face many challenges to get to where they are today. The biggest challenge, according to Shane, is getting people interested in their music, a challenge every band or musician has to face. Anyone who is familiar with the “indie scene” knows that it can be difficult for a band to get a legitimate fan base.

But, despite this challenge, Ghostkeeper is getting the acknowledgment it deserves thanks, in part, to the Polaris Prize nomination.

In order for a band to be long listed for the prize, jurors across Canada are asked to pick

Being from High Level, I was raised to make my music based totally on my own experience, my own story, my own emotion, my own ideas. It’s definitely given me a creative advantage.

– Shane Ghostkeeper their top five albums of the year. The bands that are more commonly chosen become the long list. “Polaris has always been a legitimate authority on the music scene,” Shane says.

Several articles have been written in support of Ghostkeeper and members of the Polaris jury rallyed in support of the band, which has gotten a lot of new people to check them out.

Without determination, hard work and perseverance, Ghostkeeper would not have been as successful as it is now. When he started, Shane could not tune a guitar or a bass, but that didn’t stop him from making music.

He encourages anyone who is interested in making music to just go for it, like he did. “Don’t take lessons,” Shane says. “Don’t involve the institution at all. Don’t worry about tuning or anything theoretical. Just start playing and making up your own tunes.”

Shane hopes that young musicians will recognize that Ghostkeeper is doing something that doesn’t follow trends and isn’t genrespecific. The audience, he says, wants to hear something fresh. This fresh sound is apparent

on its second album, where Ghostkeeper dedicated itself to recording on various vintage tape machines to get an old and new sound.

Ghostkeeper recorded in the studio and in various outside locations, as well. For the song “Well, Well, Well,” band members used the bottom of a marble stairwell in the Epcor building in downtown Calgary to record the natural reverbs for the whole track. “It was something we had never tried before and it worked out great,” says Shane. “We went back to the studio and added the drum and guitar parts. That’s why the song is kind of askew and wonky in its tempo, but it totally works.”

Currently, Ghostkeeper is working on its third record. According to Shane, the songs are already written and all there is left to do is put it all together. Sometime after the fall, Ghostkeeper (without Jay and Scott) will be touring Eastern Canada for the first time.

“That’ll be nice and romantic, since we haven’t played together as a duo for a while now.” Also, Shane hopes to continue to keep true to his roots, one day collaborating with Jay’s piano player, Steve Fletcher. “Steve would be on piano and I’d be playing my guitar while tap dancing, but I’d be sitting down,” Shane says. “It would be modeled after traditional Métis fiddlers who do all their percussion with fancy footwork.”

Name Changing Ghostkeeper started off as Children of the Great Northern Muskeg, named for the northern-Alberta upbringing of band members Shane Ghostkeeper and Sarah Houle.

But the mouth-full moniker was always being shortened, sometimes to Muskeg Kids or other combinations. “Children of the Great Northern Muskeg ended up being too long,” explains Shane Ghostkeeper (vocals and guitar).

“People were making acronyms out of it… it was losing its magic.”

The desire for a name change was unanimous between album-producer Lorrie Matheson and fellow band members. The band didn’t have to look too far for a new name – they simply adopted Shane’s last name and Children of

the Great Northern Muskeg became Ghostkeeper – problem solved. “The Muskeg Kids didn’t have much of the sinister sound that Ghostkeeper did,” Shane says.

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42

Get Real

By Jasmin Risk

Sometimes it’s tough to feel good about your body, and those totally fake media images of hairless men with six-pack abs and super-skinny models aren’t helping

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edia is an ever-present entity in the lives of North Americans. Every time you turn on the TV, watch a movie or flip through a magazine, you are being bombarded with images of how you should look. More often than not, these images are edited and unattainable portraits of a human body.

“The most predominant image for women is a tall, white, thin woman and, generally, with blond hair, lots of plastic surgery and it has been airbrushed,” says Leah Kelley. She works at the Women’s Centre of Calgary where she coordinates a camp called Girl Power, which encourages girls to feel good about themselves. “While for guys, you want to be a white guy, have amazing muscles, walk around with your shirt off all the time and have no body hair.” Both images are very unrealistic, Kelley says.

Advertisers are selling their products using skinny, beautiful people as a pillar to impose their unnatural standards of beauty on us. People are fooled into buying products endorsed by celebrities that make them feel less than worthy.

“If I look at a model, I think about all the different things they are trying to sell, so there’s makeup, hair products, hair dye, shoes, the clothes, even fitness now, is being marketed with these bodies,” Kelley explains. Those models are put on the pages not for what good things they have done in the world, but because they have super-skinny bodies. Women and men become objects, simply to gain profits.

These sometimes startling advertisements use models with Barbie- and Ken-like dimensions to present an ideal body type, which is often Photoshopped.

According to Kelley, “there’s been research that shows the actual dimensions that Barbie has are dimensions that a human actually couldn’t have. That would just be impossible.” Yet some teenagers still strive for that impossible body.

Drugged-up starlets and pole-dancing teenage singers bring shock to the parents whose children once looked up to them. Perhaps a shift of who we look up to is in order. Not to say that one should not look up to celebrities. Just think about why you admire them. “You should keep empowerment in mind,” says Kelley. “Find people that you can look up to that make you feel empowered. Ones that make you feel good about yourself. Not the ones that make you feel like you need to try harder or you need to look a certain way.” The same goes for men. Think about who you look up to and try to be realistic. Deconstruct the images you see in magazines and look up to someone who empowers you.

Talking about the images you see in the media is a strategy that can make you feel better about yourself, according to Kelley. “With your friends, your peers, your parents, anyone, deconstruct that, because if we’re not conscious and constant about that discussion, the images can get to us. I think it’s a more subconscious level than we realize.” With all the images we are bombarded with each day, it is important to take some time to talk to people about it. It will make the images seem less realistic.

Kelley suggests that you think about how you describe your body.

Instead of using language like “Oh my God, I feel so fat,” think of the

language you are using and the effects it will have on you and everyone around you. Instead, focus on positive images and say something like, “Oh wow, I feel really full.” Kelley says you should focus on saying positive things to yourself frequently. Tell yourself that you’re beautiful and that beauty comes in every size.

Friends may be feeling the wrath of unrealistic images in the media as well. You can help them feel better, Kelley says. “Tell them that they’re beautiful inside and out and don’t put so much emphasis on physical, outer beauty.

Tell your friends they’re beautiful anytime, and not just when you think they look particularly good in the clothes that they’re wearing that day.” As a teen, you are often a role model for younger children in your lives, as well. Your younger brother or sister is watching and listening to whatever you say and do – so be positive about yourself and, hopefully, your little brother, sis or cousin will do the same.

So, next time you see that perfect looking model on a billboard, know that it may not be the real her. It could be a Photoshopped, commercialized version of her. Know that you do not have to be as skinny/built, or as blond, or flawless as that image to be happy. As Kelley says, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and this mainstream culture that we live in has given us this idea of what beauty is, but ultimately, we are the ones who can decide that.”

Girl Power Kelley runs the Girl Power Camp for girls ages 10 to 12 to help increase awareness about body image, gender roles, stereotypes, identity, self-care and stress. The camp includes activities around body image, like belly dancing, since it is very empowering and was once performed only by women, for women. It is really about celebrating your body.

She hopes the girls in her camp “learn to deconstruct what they see in the media, to not believe that the images they are seeing all the time are real and attainable, but to really understand how much work goes into that, how much airbrushing and how fake it really is. I hope that it will teach them that everybody is beautiful.”

From previous camps, girls have told Kelley things like, “I found out that I’m beautiful just the way I am, and I’m proud of that.” Another girl said, “I’m proud how I learned about myself, and that it’s fine to be who you are and you don’t need to be anybody else but you.” Yet another came away thinking: “This week I learned that everyone is beautiful, even if they have a different skin colour.”

Kelley hopes that girls will learn, “That they don’t need to change or alter their bodies to achieve some standard that’s not achievable, and I hope that they really learn that the media images are completely bogus.” The camps are full this year, but girls who are interested can sign up next year by calling the Women’s Centre at 403-264-1155 for more information.

Looking Good Check out these links for more information on feeling good about your body: BodySense: www.bodysense.ca Dove Campaign for Real Beauty: www.campaignforrealbeauty.ca National Eating Disorder Information Centre: www.nedic.ca

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44

GRIPMagazine

By Sandy Xu

Start thinking differently. If we continue to measure success by who owns the most, our Earth is in serious trouble

I

For one, the sea level rise has already forced major coastal cities to think about preservation. As Peter D. Ward notes in The Flooded Earth: Our Future In a World Without Ice Caps, “the rise will wipe out high percentages of agricultural areas we’ve become dependent on.” Millions of coastal people will be forced to relocate, most notably in Bangladesh, where an estimated 120 million people will be displaced. All this can circle back to defining success as growth.

Changing our delusional correlation between success and growth may take time. People need to make the mental note that success doesn’t mean owning the most, producing the most and wasting the most. We need to recognize that happiness does not necessarily come to those who have the most. Only then, will the toughest barriers to environmental stewardship be broken. And where would you start?

I recently found myself Googling the term “environmental stewardship” and discovered that Alberta was among the top four links presented. Whether it was stewardship awards or young environmental leaders, it became evident to me that the tools for us to take

still remember my childhood in Shanghai. Inundated with the unrelenting heat of summer, hundreds waiting inside supermarkets for air conditioning when electricity fell short at home. It’s a strange sort of memory – and I recognize my disdain as much as my nostalgia for the month-long heat.

In my memory, the blessing of the unyielding sun couldn’t end Changing our delusional correlation between a moment too soon. What does success and growth may take time. People need the second decade of the to make the mental note that success doesn’t 21st century hold in store? mean owning the most, producing the most The current trademark for the coming decade can be and wasting the most. summed up in two words: caprice and disaster. action exist, but too often we don’t take advantage of them as we When I do return to Shanghai, there won’t be families prefer to be selfish with our time. clustered by the hundreds in the cool grocery store – the The thing I noticed of late was how much stewardship can help images will be more dismaying (at least to some). In China, keep us from that selfishness. It’s more than just putting recyclables the ownership of an air conditioner, or several air conditioners, into a blue bag, stewardship requires you to physically and mentally has become a source of pride. The underlying tale is one of a accept the responsibility to improve the environment. If you already nation that has leapfrogged to the forefront of economic progress, do simple things to aid the environment, like recycling or riding where the standard of living is increasing rapidly, as is the desire for your bike to school, think about assisting on a panel or council that energy-consuming goods. As China, and many other developing promotes similar values. This experience will not only look good on nations, progress economically, the capacity for material goods your next resume, but can help you meet new friends, learn new will increase, as will the resources required to produce them. An skills and will extend your knowledge and insight on more complex, already unsustainable path is about to get a whole lot worse. and perhaps, international issues. The cure for selfishness is responPart of the problem is the tendency for all countries, businesses sibility. To refuse to uphold responsibility is to ignore the damages and individuals to measure progress by growth and to use growth you’ve marked today on Earth and on your life and on everyone to define success. When we make the assertion that companies else’s lives. fail to progress without growth, sustainability is undervalued. Our Perhaps English writer Thomas Fuller said it best, “We never statistic-obsessed world has sentenced Earth to the death penalty know the worth of water until our well is dry.” Our excesses are and we are to think that there’s nothing wrong with that. The mon- never far from sight, and eventually our disregard for the planet will strous consumption of carbon fuel, and a dwindling fresh water catch up with us. I can’t predict the future, but when the history of supply, will far out-pollute the oil spill disaster that we recently the 21st century is written, I hope that environmental apathy will witnessed in the Gulf of Mexico. have gone the way of the dinosaurs.

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46

Portfolio In each issue of Grip, we feature creative works from our readers – poetry, personal essays, short stories, illustrations, comic strips and photography.

Never Shout Never

By Adrienne Vander Meulen

Freedom

Each day and night Every living thing surrenders Into new flight Our choices take us But the voices break us Silent the ego Because silence is wisdom Don’t dread for that day to come Be happy that this moment isn’t done Don’t flee from your dream Should you fear the unknown?

Or Could you embrace it?

And show the world how well you’ve flown Today is our time to do What we’ve been dreaming of since day two So will you escape the people’s gloomy fog?

Or Will you be another victim to the miry bog?

We cannot see, I don’t know about you But that’s not for me We’ll go our way, you choose yours But in the end we’ll all help set you free.

GRIPMagazine

By Jordan Phillips

Is it the way we look Into each other’s eyes That takes away from life’s surprise

Season Unknown

By Jake Gentes

At the Fair

By Katherine Abbass

Winning submissions are awarded $50, are featured in the magazine and on the website at www.griponlife.ca. Send in your submissions to creative@griponlife.ca The Victim’s Costume is Whispering untitled

Can we fall any faster?

Grabbing at any flat surface.

The sharp rocks cutting at our hands.

We are falling faster and faster.

There are things we can grab on the way down.

Our friends can grab at us, hold on to us for a few seconds.

Some stay and fall with us.

Our dreams are like loose rocks – some are meant to break.

Family will always stay with us.

Even as we fall down.

So, we fall, holding on to the treasures we have collected.

And on our way down we realize.

The edge of the cliff is birth.

The long fall is life.

The bottom is death.

And on the bottom is God, waiting with open arms.

He will catch us.

By Madelynn Johnson

Fall of Life

By Kyle Kurtz

By Shanoa Waskahat

Strong Outstandingly resilient Unwavering These components make me the person I am now, as well as the one I am becoming Do they shield me? Shelter me from other situations or struggles that I may need to experience?

I don’t like to come unequipped for battles or conflicts So I always carry an extra chip for my shoulder, a pack of sarcastic remarks and a mirror to deflect the attention from me In the end I have an entire costume I carry around this costume with me in case I ever need to protect myself.

Someone told me, behind every great person there is someone behind them helping them, in some cases many In my case there is only a frightened little girl clutching onto a table leg because it’s the only stable, reliable thing she knows She is scarred and marked from life’s thrashing grasp And when she feels threatened the mask I carry around sticks to my face, fronting away from this vulnerability But sometimes my façade ends up being the thing that damages me the most.

In some cases being the strong one can be the most dangerous thing to do Embracing my strength can really be fear and that I am much too drenched in it to ask for help I don’t like playing the role of a/the victim And by doing everything in my realm of possibilities choices and “power” to vacate the position of a victim am I victimizing myself more By being the strong opinionated assertive person I tend to be am I flushing out new opportunities that may have risen, or passing a helping hand By doing everything myself it seems as if I’m punishing myself in ways I’m not allowing the positive energy to flow within my veins Right now I feel the venom that sustains potent cynical thoughts, and sickening pessimistic reactions that pumps through my veins So with most illness there’s an antidote or a solution And I’m putting my solution to action right now By sharing my pain and feelings By being strong enough to let my guard down and bare myself to all.

Strong Outstandingly resilient Unwavering Open minded Caring Honest griponlife.ca

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48

Portfolio

Portfolio Untitled

By jasmin risk

The Butterfly Jar

48

By Erin Vance

Model

By Erin Vance

GRIPMagazine

Abandoned on a crooked shelf.

Dust-like sandcastles scream with neglect and age.

Simple sea, glass reverie.

The butterfly jar is filled with rage.

A monotonous tapping of sorts, tiny pangs of pressure.

Building building, on the butterfly’s lonesome wings like Ginsberg chipping away at writer’s block, black rainbows set against the Technicolor skyline.

Solitude.

Burning for freedom.

It cries for a mind of its own.

A chance to dream like the artists tossing their fixations onto canvas, to love like the poets bleeding out through the nibs of their pens.

But the butterfly is forever trapped by another’s philosophies another’s theories. (the evolution from larvae to pixie) Suffocating in the stale air that encompasses its spirit, breaking its legs, splintering its last desire for independent thought, so cleverly sealed.

The butterfly, alone in its fragile prison of sand pressurized until its breaking point.

It withers.

Slowly losing its will to imagine.

Its will to fight.

Will to survive.

The butterfly dies.

Unable to breathe without the desire to dream, for time stands still like molten memories in the butterfly jar.

Another butterfly dies.

And another.

Set the butterflies free.

To flutter by.

To be.

o

Spinning

By Janina Valencia

True Miracles

By Benjamin A. Randall

The fields were silent now. A few hours previously the air had been rife with screams of dying men, the yelling of the officers, the chanting of the priests and with the quick whistle of arrows barely heard over top of the clash of metal on metal. This new silence was almost deafening, only broken here and there as an injured soldier cried out in pain, but those outbursts did not last too long.

The burning red sun slowly sank through the sky over field; the blood on the grass was barely visible because of the flow of light. Near the foot of the mountains, at the western edge of the field, there was a large gathering of camp fires where the ‘victorious’ army that had ‘won’ the battle was camped. As the sun sank, a man led a figure, lightly cloaked in white, towards the fires near the front of the lines. The first few lines of fires belonged to the unfortunates of the battle, the dying or the crippled. On the first of those lines the man called Jake writhed with pain.

“Come on, hurry. Please healer, move faster,” urged the leading man, “Jake needs your help, and we can’t let the priests know you’re here, they mustn’t see you. You know what they say about your sort.”

“If you’re so worried about what the church thinks why did you come to find me?” asked the healer in her light, female voice.

“Jake needs your help,” the man said simply, “he has a belly wound.

I took him to see the healers of the church but they refused to treat him.

They said that he was already dead. Please help him. We’ve been best mates since childhood, he can’t die now. He just can’t.”

“Well… if I’m going to be helping you and your friend, I want to know your names.”

“I’m John, John Turner, and his name is Jake, and his last name is Thatcher,” mumbled the soldier, John.

“I’m Gwendolyn,” the healer replied.

“We’re almost there… yeah there he is,” John stated, pointing up ahead, “I don’t care what the church says about you, but if you help him I will be in your debt. Just save Jake’s life.”

Gwendolyn ignored him as she knelt next to the prone man. She reached over and pulled aside the bandages that were wrapped clumsily around the man’s belly. As she moved the cloth, blood started to bubble out of the wound.

“Did you wrap this yourself?” she asked without turning her head.

“Yes ma’am I did. Like I said earlier, the priests turned us away, it’s not much but I did my best.”

Nodding silently, Gwendolyn placed her hands on either side of the wound, seemingly uncaring about the blood that the broad sleeves of the gown started to hungrily absorb, and she closed her eyes.

Read the rest of the story at griponlife.ca griponlife.ca

49

This is

Walter

GRIPMagazine

By Annalise Klingbeil

W

An enviro-whiz who linked the earth clubs at five Calgary high schools knows that many hands make green work

photography by chris tait

Pang

hen he took the head post as president of his high school’s earth club,Walter Pang realized that if environmental clubs across the city co-operated and competed, they could do even more for the earth.

At age 16 Walter single-handedly founded Youth Earth Ambassadors (YEA), a network of environmental clubs in Calgary high schools that, before long, boasted five major high schools and approximately 250 youth members. “By linking all the Calgary high schools together... we could share resources so that we could improve the environment,” says 17-year-old Walter of his original vision.

Walter still runs YEA, which he officialy started in April 2009.

The group directly links youth, agencies and non-profit organizations together to bring about significant environmental change.

During the 2009/10 school year, students involved with YEA volunteered more than 4,000 hours and participated in a number of environmentally based interschool projects and competitions.

One of the first competitions YEA hosted was a litter pickup competition in which volunteers picked up 200 pounds of garbage from three communities in two hours. Later in the school year,YEA spearheaded an interschool bike-in competition, which encouraged students to bike, walk or rollerblade to school, in an effort to decrease their carbon footprint. More than 500 students from four high schools participated. “People are very competitive, they always like to win. Competition is a really great thing and it’s able to grow more social change for the community,” says Walter.” Competition really bound the school clubs together.”

While YEA has held a number of successful events with positive results for both the community and environment, its path hasn’t always been easy. In grade 10, as president of his school’s earth club, Walter first envisioned a network of environment clubs and turned to an organization he’s banked hundreds of volunteer hours with for help.

He received positive support from staff at Child and Youth Friendly Calgary, now called Youth Central, as well as free office space.

Soon Walter asked a friend who was president of an earth club at a different school if his school’s group was interested in joining YEA. From there, the group grew, but it had one major problem. “We had no money, but we needed money,” says Walter. Walter donated $200 of his own money to YEA, saved from his allowance. It went to purchase supplies for projects and food and drinks for volunteers.

The club eventually found partnership with local organizations and received grants. Before long the inter-school projects began.

Walter says he’s always been interested in the earth and YEA has finally allowed him to build creative environment initiatives. “The environment has always been a passion of mine but I’ve never had an outlet,” he says.

Walter thinks protecting the environment for future generations is extremely important and also lists volunteering as one of his griponlife.ca

51

52 Thisis Walter Pang opportunity to carry the Olympic torch. “It was an eye-opening experience because I’ve always been very proud to be Canadian,” says Walter, of running with the Olympic flame.

When it comes right down to it,Walter is motivated by a genuine passion for the environment and for his community. “A lot of people really look at volunteer work as bullet points on a resumé.

People have to realize the bullet points only get so far. We should act on behalf of the community first and foremost,” he says.

Walter admits he’s never really set specific goals or followed a strict plan. Rather, he is a huge believer in the power of teamwork. “Almost everything works better when people are working as a team. A club is not just made of one person.”

“The environment has always been a passion of mine but I’ve never had an outlet.”

Walter’s Top Tips for Teens to Get Green • If you’re a coffee addict (like Walter) use a reusable coffee mug • Buy a water bottle and use it. You’ll help the earth and save money • Take public transit instead of using a car • Unplug your appliances from your outlets when you go on vacation

Why Volunteer? passions. “Volunteering is very, very important because I think the cornerstone of society is that we help people,” he says.

Between work as YEA program co-ordinator, president of his school’s environment club, volunteering hundreds of hours with Youth Central, appearing on radio as a teen critic for CBC and participating in martial arts, it’s a wonder Walter has anytime for homework. “I’ve always prioritized my volunteer work over school work because I’ve never really liked school – it’s not necessarily something you can learn lessons from,” he says.

GRIPMagazine

The modest teen says his marks are “alright I guess.”These “alright” marks were good enough to land him a spot at Queens University in Kingston, Ont. this fall, where he will study commerce.

He also plans to start a university version of YEA, called YEA U. Walter’s extracurricular involvement has helped him out financially. He’s come a long way since the day when he shelled out his own allowance to pay for YEA. Water has earned more than $10,000 in scholarships, including a 2010 Toyota Earth Day Scholarship for $5,000. He even had the

Volunteer Edmonton has lots of good reasons. Here are just a few: • Meet new people and make new friends • Share existing skills and talents, or learn new skills • Gain work-related experience • Effect change and have a positive impact on community • Champion a cause • Build confidence and self-esteem • Gain a sense of achievement • Pursue a special or personal interest

griponlife.ca

53

Last Word Interviewing 54

Humour

Edward Cullen

The handsome hunk with a soft spot for red beverages tries to set the record straight

By Jessie & Mike Tollestrup

E

dward Cullen, a vampire featured in the popular Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer, doesn’t eat human flesh and he sparkles in the sun. Cullen doesn’t like those humiliating, degrading articles that are always appearing in magazines and he wishes the world could see who he really is – the real him. So, Cullen sat down with Death magazine. The month had been a particularly slow one for Death magazine and it desperately needed fillers. As a result, Edward’s interview request was accepted.

Edward Cullen: Quiet, fool! You are in the presence of a superior.

DM: Uh, you scheduled this interview with me.

EC: Oh. Right.

DM: So answer the question.

EC: Because she thinks that I think she smells like roasted eggplant or something.

DM: Right. Uhm, is that all?

EC: Quiet fool! You are in the presence of a superior.

DM: Edward, we just went over this.

EC: Oh. Right.

DM: So answer the question!

EC: Well, I sparkle! How epic is that? I mean, not too many boyfriends can naturally look like they are dipped in glitter. I’m just that awesome.

DM: I see. Why do you love Bella?

EC: Quiet, foo- Oh, right. Uhm…hmm. Alright, wait a moment…I feel a thought coming on! Pickles, pickles, corned beef…Dum-dee-dum-dum…Pickles…

SAUSAGE! Hmm. I forget.

DM: Are you sure?

EC: Oh, wait, I know! Because she’s a girl!

DM: I would say that we already know that.

EC: Yeah, so would I. HEY,ARE YOU SAYING THAT I’M SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO - Hey, look, a fluffy pink bunny!

DM: Edward, that’s your foot.

EC: I don’t believe you! Oh my gosh! Whenever I move my foot, the bunny moves too! It must be because I sparkle.

GRIPMagazine

DM: Why did you insist that Bella marry you? Were you afraid that she would cheat on you with Jacob?

EC: Of course not. He’s a werewolf.

He smells funny and fetches sticks.

DM: Obviously Bella is attracted to that.

EC: Nuh-uh!

DM: Uh-huh.

EC: Nuh-uh!

DM: Um. Uh-huh.

EC: Nuh-uh!

DM: Edward. She’s friends with him. Obviously she likes him at least a little bit.

EC: Nuh-uh!

DM: Edward, did you hear what I said?

EC: Nuh-uh!

DM: Edward! Hey, come back here!

EC: Hey, look, the bunny’s leaving!

I’m gonna catch him. Bye-bye!

BUNNY! Oww! The floor is really hard. Dumb bunny tripped me! I tried to grab it with my foot. Uh! Now my hair only looks mildly disheveled.

I WANT MY MOMMY!

Join us next time for another splendid display of Twilight intelligence.

ILLUSTRATION: HEFF O’REILLY

Death magazine: So, let’s cut to the chase. Why do you think Bella loves you?

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