Grip - Spring 2013 by Venture Publishing

g 2013 sprin

PM #40020055

Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t underestimate yourself

Grow Confidence

Clothes with Purpose

Shyness held one teen back until she built inner strength

Pink Shirt Day: More than just bright T-shirts

The Living Daylights: An Edmonton-based band that gets inspired by Tupac and Disney

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1 Grip magazine is currently seeking writers, journalists, illustrators

and photographers between the ages of 13 and 18. Join the conversation and help Grip cover issues that are important to you. Send questions and samples to creative@griponlife.ca. You will be paid. Really. Not a lot, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s still money.

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17 what’s inside

FEATURES

DEPARTMENTS

The Be Strong Issue:

Life is tough and sometimes you get picked on, but don’t underestimate your strength. Knowing who you are makes you emotionally aware and confident, which sets you up for success against bullying. This issue of Grip asks: are teens losing their social and emotional intelligence? Also, we examine strength from many angles. Grow Confidence Being overly shy held one teen back until she built her inner strength and conquered her fear of being judged

By Reshma Sirajee

Purposeful Clothing The purpose of Pink Shirt Day can get lost in the day’s events. This writer explains the background and what her school did for it By Lina Kim

What’s Trending? Is social and emotional intelligence pushed aside for the sake of good grades? By Vanessa Stewart

Definition Clarification In a Q&A, an expert helps rid misconceptions about bullying By Ann Lee

Quiz: Is Your Behaviour Crossing the Line? Check if you’re causing someone grief By Sarah Richards

Mind Over Matter The connection of your body and mind may be stronger than you think By Samantha Stephenson

What is Strength Anyway? Personal struggles with her family and depression led one teen to examine what being strong means to her By Luna Yang

Follow the Rules One teen talked about bullying and helped end the cycle of being a victim By Raegan Larson

Opinion: Bullies summed up in a few questions By Ann Lee and Stephen Gust

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18 20 22 24 25 26 28 29 32

A message from a new Grip contributor as well as three others who helped out with this spring issue

It Happens Career website; Medicinal planting; Sweet recipe; Fun clubs; Volunteer organization; Four-legged helpers Plus! Music, book and video game reviews

Off the Wall Quirky, fun-filled facts and images you don’t want to miss

Help Wanted Need some advice? Just ask

COVER illustration: jori bolton

Fan Fare Read what inspires Edmonton-based band The Living Daylights to write and perform their music. Plus, find out how the first two members met By Darcy Ropchan

40 42 45 46

A Long, Long Time Ago ... Understanding your family history can help you build confidence By Jena Tang

Suicide Prevention Involves Everyone Grip contributors review the suicide awareness conference they attended By Vanessa Stewart and Luna Yang

How to Change Habits start for a reason. One teen finds out why By Evan Tran

No Regrets One teen wouldn’t have things any other way, even if her life is jam-packed with activity By Elaina Smith

This is … Ciara Sabean An inspirational teen to the many students in her high school as well as her family and her gymnastics troupe, this 15-year-old shines with life and a willingness to learn By Alexandria Eldridge and Kathryn Craig

Portfolio Grip contributors are neat and creative! Check out the art, photography and poems supplied by teens around Alberta

Dodge Sonny’s sister Britney stands up to school bullies

Last Word You knew it was going to happen: A zombie apocalypse By Kathryn Craig

Find Grip on Facebook at: www.facebook.com/GripMag griponlife.ca

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04 From a Grip Contributor

ullying is universal. Ask anyone and they’ll probably have a story about bullying to tell you. I am in Grade 10, and because of my 10 or so years of school, I can say that I’ve seen so many cases of bullying that I’ve lost count. Bullying can happen to anyone, at any time, for any reason. This issue of Grip’s theme is Be Strong, noting that life is tough, which because I’m in the glorious years of my adolescence, I can attest to. In my own experience with bullying (see page 29 for Raegan’s story), I didn’t understand myself. I was 13 when I got my first taste of long-term bullying, and quite frankly, I was a muddled mess acting entirely on impulse. I didn’t get why the things the bullies said hurt so much, and I had no clue as to why anyone would want to hurt another person. I was quiet and loved books; I never hurt anybody. Looking back, I can say that self awareness and social intelligence are the icing on the cake. If you have them you can get out of pretty much any situation intact. These two things boost your confidence and competency. If you don’t have an abundance of them, like my 13-year-old self, don’t worry because luckily those things develop every day. I’m not an especially positive person, but to look on the sunny side of things I can say that my experience with bullying, though unpleasant, made me grow as a person. One of the main problems with bullying is that it can literally follow you anywhere via technology. It’s easy to insult someone and hurt someone’s feelings if you don’t have to see them after you say it. Cyber bullying is also a lot more subtle than punching someone in the face; there is no bruise to jump out and convict someone of their crimes. Technology removes you from the consequences. In today’s world, people walk around with their phones glued to their hand and it’s sad to say, I’m guilty as charged. It’s sometimes easier to talk to someone if you don’t have to sit right across from them. This creates problems. Cruelty is suddenly easier, and able to be delivered around the clock. Technology is a beautiful thing; I can’t even imagine what I would do without Google, but it is also a double-edged sword. Life is tough, and slightly unforgiving, but humans wouldn’t have existed for so many generations if we weren’t strong enough to face adversity. Be yourself and trust in that little spark of hope that comes from the very origins of humanity and helps you power through life while being strong. Raegan Larson

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Contributors Spring 2013 | Volume 7, No. 1 Publisher

Ruth Kelly

Associate Publisher

Joyce Byrne | comments@griponlife.ca Executive Editor PHOTO BY: CHRISTY DEAN

Beth Evans

Managing Editor

Michelle Lindstrom | creative@griponlife.ca director of custom content

Mifi Purvis

Editorial Advisors

Shiela Bradley, Claudia Canales, Nancy Corrigan, Laura Crawford, Catherine Davis, Dianne Drummond, Beth Evans, Sarah Halton, Margo Husby, Tamara McCormick, Jeff Moat, Jessica Moorman, Marisa Murray, Jennifer Munoz, Taryn Pawlivsky, Mike Pietrus, Dr. Michael Rich, Denise Salanski, Tanya Spencer, Brett Thompson, Adriana Tullust, Erin Walton Art Director

Charles Burke

ASSOCIATE ART DIRECTOR

Andrea deBoer

AssISTANT Art Director

Colin Spence

Production ManageR

Betty Smith

Production Technician

Brent Felzien

Distribution

Jennifer King | getgrip@griponlife.ca Contributing Writers

Fatima Carton, Kathryn Craig, Alexandria Eldridge, Grayson Evans, Amal Farha, Christine Green, Stephen Gust, Jessica Highstead, Lina Kim, Larissa Lautner, Raegan Larson, Rhaea Larson, Ann Lee, Irtiza Oyon, Zosia Prus-Czarnecka, Sarah Richards, Darcy Ropchan, Reshma Sirajee, Elaina Smith, Samantha Stephenson, Vanessa Stewart, Jena Tang, Evan Tran, Alice Wo, Luna Yang Contributing photographers and Illustrators

Jori Bolton, Christy Dean, Eric Gravel, Stephen Gust, Joshua Lo, Irtiza Oyon, Robert Propp, Sarah Richards, Reshma Sirajee, Evan Tran Grip is published by Venture Publishing Inc. for Alberta Health Services

The content of this magazine is provided for general informational purposes only and is not intended to replace consultations with your doctor or to provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any personal medical and health questions that you may have. Printed in Canada by Transcontinental LGM Graphics Canadian Publications Mail Agreement #40020055 Contents copyright 2013 by Alberta Health Services. Content may not be reprinted or reproduced without written permission from Alberta Health Services.

Venture Publishing Inc. 10259-105 Street, Edmonton, AB T5J 1E3 Tel: 780-990-0839 | Fax: 780-425-4921 | Toll-free: 1-866-227-4276 circulation@venturepublishing.ca The views expressed in Grip are the opinions of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Alberta Health Services or Venture Publishing

Amal Farha says that being a 15-year-old student means her life consists of homework and friends. Music is her passion and she’s dedicated to playing three instruments: piano, flute and piccolo. When she grows up, she plans to explore the world, hopefully with her loved one. “Islam is the third major part of my life. I am Muslim and I’m proud to be Muslim! Lastly, I live by my motto which is ‘Don’t be sad, be glad.’ ” You can read Amal’s CD review on page 13. Hey, my name is Lina Kim. I’m 13 and live in Sherwood Park, Alberta. I play the piano and cello (the cello with the Edmonton Youth Orchestra). I like to snowboard, swim, play badminton and shop. I also like to read, bake and hang out with my friends. Right now, I’m reading The Host by Stephanie Meyers. Although I don’t have any pets, I do have a seven-year-old little sister named Lindsay. My favourite candies are neon gummy worms and neon Gummy Bears! This is my first time writing for a magazine, but I hope you’ll like my article about Pink Shirt Day (on page 20). My name is Grayson Evans and I like to play video games, watch movies and write folk music with my friends. I am working on an independent game journalism career. Grip has been amazing opportunity for me to expand my writing experiences and add to my portfolio. I love anything to do with art and I always try new ways to express myself and be creative. I often go to watch live bands with my friends, try to meet new people or learn to cook something I’ve never eaten before. I like to focus more on life experiences than trying to make lots of money. Read my news story on page 9 and video game review on page 14. griponlife.ca

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it Happens | News

News

Fun Youth Clubs If soccer, library crafts or family barbecues just don’t get you excited or motivated to pull yourself off of the couch, maybe you should look into other activities. Who knows, some of the suggestions below may take you places you never thought you’d go or doing fun things you never thought you’d try. Check these ideas out to start, but get creative and check out other activities through your school, family, friends, community centres and other connections.

By Christine Green

Archery

4-H Alberta

Equipped with a bow, arrow and spirit of adventure, archery can certainly be an enjoyable endeavour. The Alberta Target Archers Association has junior programs throughout the province. There are locations in Edmonton, Red Deer, Calgary, Grande Prairie and the hamlet of Cadogan in central Alberta. Cost of membership or lessons depends on the program. VISIT: ataa-org.ca and navigate through “programs” to find “junior programs.” CONTACT: Junior Program Director: Cassie Corbin, 780-897-1245, junior-director@ataa-org.ca

For 90 years, 4-H (which stands for Head, Heart, Health and Hand) has enabled youth to develop leadership, communication, life skills and more. Youth, ages nine to 20, can join 4-H groups across Alberta to participate in any one of the 35 projects that are sure to ignite interest in any young person, such as raising or caring for animals, gardening, performing arts, photography, sewing, travel exchange, veterinary science, welding and more. Memberships are usually $55 a year to fund projects and fees, but check with your local group for costs specific to your area. VISIT: 4h.ab.ca CONTACT: 1-877-682-2153 (toll-free) or 780-682-2153, foundation@4hab.com

Cybermentor Women are under-represented in science and engineering fields and an organization called Cybermentor is working to change this. It offers free online mentoring for girls ages 11 to 18 by matching them up with a mentor according to shared interests. Mentors include women who are studying in various fields of science or engineering at universities in Alberta, or those that are already in a science-related careers. Mentors and mentees correspond by email with a program goal of exposing female teens to post-secondary and career options in science and mathematics. Mentors also encourage girls to pursue those subjects in their current school studies. VISIT: cybermentors.ca CONTACT: 403-220-8283, administrator@cybermentor.ca

Calgary Young People’s Theatre Is there a deep longing in your heart to express yourself freely through performing arts? The Calgary Young People’s Theatre offers summer camps, winter lessons, fall lessons and spring lessons. Classes allow young people, ages four to 17, to learn the basics of acting and improv skills. The theatre hopes to foster a strong sense of community, passion and appreciation in teens for the arts. Bursaries that can cover up to half the cost of lessons are available to low-income families. Summer camp dates (half days, week-long and two-week-long) are on the website. VISIT: cypt.ca Contact: 403-230-2664, cypt@cypt.ca

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My Dusty Bookshelf Brave New World By Aldous Huxley

Reviewed by Irtiza Oyon Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World portrays a dystopian future that starts off with students receiving a tour of the London Hatchery and Conditioning Centre. What’s being hatched? Humans. Customized, test-tube babies that are grown in little bottles analogous to water canteens. These babies grow in environments with nutrients that determine their level on intelligence, personality – even their social caste. At this point, you’ve probably realized that this isn’t your typical fantasy novel. Not only are the citizens of this world manufactured, but they also have their role in society reinforced through sleep-teaching: an insidious, yet effective, method of ingraining the disturbing social customs of the society into young children’s minds. Examples? Sexual activity is openly encouraged and unrestricted to any one lover. Also, the drug “Soma” is distributed to all citizens without discrimination. These social customs are more like requirements than anything, as the totalitarian state eliminates anyone with any thoughts beyond sex and drugs. Any sign

of a person questioning his or her customs results in a secret, silent and simple death. The story’s characters are an odd few: Bernard, a high-caste intellectual who is insecure about his height due to a nutrient deficiency while he was grown in his bottle, sees the flaws in the totalitarian state; Lenina, a middle-caste, gorgeous woman; and John the Savage, one of the few people left from the Old Society (before the control of the state). Through the interaction of these three characters, this complex novel explores how society’s influence impacts the motivations of even the most perceptive people, paralleling, eerily, what may be our society’s future. Grade: A- This story is undoubtedly for an older audience, as it deals with concepts more complex and explicit than most teen books. Brave New World will force you to think about, and question, not only the practices of the society in the novel, but also practices in our society today. It is a complex, but worthwhile, read – the recipe for an enduring classic.

By Alice Wo

Since 1992, when Youth Central started up, it has become an integral part of Calgary’s culture. Youth Central is a philanthropic organization that was built on the idea that youth engagement could change the city. Having joined the volunteer organization in Grade 8, I have seen Youth Central grow over the past year. For example, in 2012, 3,000 youth between the ages of 12 and 18 dedicated 37,000 hours of their time to volunteerism, leadership, philanthropy and teamwork. Oftentimes, views about rebellious and apathetic adolescents make their way into everyday thoughts and create stereotypes. However, this youth-oriented organization

works to recognize that young people are actually really awesome. Through initiatives such as the Mayor’s Youth Council, Youth are Awesome (volunteer blogging), Youth Volunteer Corps and many others, students develop a sense of empowerment and worth. It offers teens and tweens the opportunity to voice their opinions to business leaders and politicians, and to get involved in shaping their communities through volunteering and steering committees. At any time, 12- to 18-year-olds can register for free to become volunteer members on youthcentral.com. The website allows you to sign up for projects and tracks your volunteer hours. You can sign up for volunteer projects

under categories such as social issues, working with kids or the elderly and sportsrelated events. Apart from volunteering, you can choose to sign up for steering committees. Who knows? You might be responsible for planning the ConocoPhillips Youth of Distinction Awards, Youth Week, or giving out grants to youth-initiated projects on the Calgary Youth Foundation. Be ready for some hard work, regular commitment and rewarding experiences. Youth Central is packed with volunteer opportunities year-round, so the choice is yours when you sign up and what you sign up for. Ever since joining Youth Central, I’ve had the opportunity to work with dedicated and well-rounded teens with the same hopeful vision for a youth-friendly city. These teens are remarkable and have shown me that our generation is concerned for the future of our city and that we are in the good hands of compassionate leaders. griponlife.ca

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News

it Happens | News

Get Planted As Albertans’ sad, snow-mouldy lawns slowly turn from yellow to green, spring fever will be upon us and many people eagerly begin planting their gardens. In between school, sports and your social life, plants are probably the last thing on your mind. But don’t pass them off as something uncool or just household decorations – a lot of them have medicinal and culinary uses that you might not be aware of. You might even find it interesting to try and grow one or two of the following yourselves, just because you can.

1. Sage – You’ve probably all had a roast dinner seasoned with sage, but this peppery-mint leaf has many medicinal purposes as well. When you prepare for exams, mix in a bit of sage with your meat for an increase in memory power and a relief from nervous headaches.

2. Cinnamon – There’s no better way to start your morning than with a piece of cinnamon toast. But aside from its delicious

By Zosia Prus-Czarnecka

taste and aroma, this is another spice that has some surprising medicinal properties. Cinnamon has antioxidants, as well as antibacterial, antifungal and antimicrobial properties and is full of fibre, making it good for your heart as well. Its ability to boost blood sugar control is great news for diabetics, too.

3. Lavender – We’ve all heard of the small purple flowers and smelled them in soaps and perfume but have you tried them in your salad? A surprising member of the mint family, lavender adds a sweet citrusy aroma to food and a nice colour.

cooked or powdered, and all forms of it have incredible medicinal properties. It has been used mainly to help with digestion, but ginger also fights inflammation, reduces muscle pain, prevents nausea and some reports say it may even slow down the growth of cancer.

6. Gingko – Compounds from this famous Asian tree are esteemed for improving circulation by making blood vessels more elastic and lowering blood pressure. Two key ingredients (flavonoids and terpenoids) keep blood cells healthy and reduce their stickiness. GO to your local garden centre and talk to the staff there about starting your own sage, lavender or pepper garden at home. Find out which herbs grow best in your area, or inside your home, and which ones are easiest to maintain for your busy teen life.

Sweet Recipe By Larissa Lautner

Ingredients 1/3 cup yogurt (fat free) 2 cups whole almonds 4 Tbsp melted margarine (or butter) 3 Tbsp brown Splenda (or brown sugar) 4 key limes 2 eggs 1 tsp almond extract (optional) 2 eggs 1 2/3 cup 95% fat free cream cheese 1/2 cup white Splenda 1 Tbsp cornstarch

place in refrigerator for at least 8 hours (be sure to keep the bowl underneath). Preheat the oven to 300 ˚F (150 ˚C). Using a food processor, finely crush the almonds until they are almost a paste. Stir melted butter, brown Splenda and crushed almonds together. Press evenly into wellgreased 8-inch springform cake pan.

jump at the thought of eating a red hot chili pepper. But it turns out that this spice can help a lot with colds and pain. The main ingredient, capsaicin, is also used in ointments and creams to ease muscle pain. Furthermore, it battles congestion, boosts metabolism and also has some potential anticancer properties.

4. Ginger – This root can be eaten raw,

Key Lime cheesecake

Preparation: Layer 3 paper towels and place them inside a strainer. Place the strainer over a bowl. Spoon yogurt on top of paper towels in the strainer, and

5. Cayenne – Not many people eagerly

Filling: Grate the zest from the limes. Cut the limes in half and squeeze out the juice into a medium bowl, add the zest. Separate the eggs, putting the yolks into the bowl with lime juice and zest, and place the egg whites in a separate bowl. Add the cream cheese, strained yogurt, Splenda, almond extract and cornstarch into a bowl and whisk

until smooth. Then, whip the egg whites until they are stiff and form peaks. Fold the whisked egg whites into the cream cheese mixture until well mixed. Do NOT whip. Spoon the filling onto the almond base and bake for 50 minutes. Turn off the oven and let the cake cool in the oven. Chill in refrigerator overnight or until completely cool before serving.

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By Grayson Evans Choosing a career can be tough, but once you do choose, the doors of opportunity open up … you just may not know where to look for those doors. If the medical field is of any interest to you, there’s a website that can help answer some of your most pressing questions and maybe open some of those theoretical doors for you along the way. It can be a daunting task to gather all the information needed to get into medical school. Luckily, the Alberta Rural Physician Action Plan (RPAP) created a program to help youth in Alberta realize their dreams of helping humanity through medicine. Seeing the lack of information on the Internet, RPAP created the Be A Doctor website (www.beadoctor.ca) as an all-in-one destination for people to find what they need to get into medical school, as well as the information needed to succeed when actually in medical school.

Here are some of the reasons you should check out the site: The Be A Doctor website has two main focus areas, says Melissa Scaman, RPAP’s physician recruitment consultant: one is geared towards teens and the other is geared towards youth aged 18 to 24. Using the website, Twitter@BeADoctorinAB and Facebook.com/ pages/Be-a-Doctor-in-Alberta/130630333718455, RPAP aims to provide resources and tips for youth who are considering a career in health care. It’s a growing sector and RPAP wants to help youth find more about the options within it. RPAP hopes to engage youth through Facebook and Twitter to start discussions about health careers, including what young people’s ideas are about health care and career options. The site provides youth with a lot of resources and real-life stories from current medical students so future students can make informed decisions about their careers. There are also study tips and volunteer opportunities in Alberta posted on the site. Ultimately, the decision to work in the medical field is up to you, but having a website to give you examples and resources helps you answer any questions you might have.

By Christine Green “The Hope Heels psychiatric program has made me more aware of my symptoms and how to deal with them. … Now I’m able, brave, relaxed and reliable. … I’m physically and mentally healthier.” This quote is from a Hope Heels client and is one of many success stories credited to the organization. Almost everyone has seen a service dog in action for someone with a physical disability but few people have even heard of psychiatric service dogs (those that aid people with a mental illness). However, they do exist. Hope Heels is an Alberta-based charitable organization that equips people who suffer from mental illness with psychiatric service dogs to help them through their struggles. Kristine Aanderson, R. Psych, established Hope Heels in 2010 after working on a project that assessed the proficiency of owner-trained dogs, and identified a need for an organization that trained psychiatric service dogs. Aanderson says the psychiatric service dogs help people with general tasks that include finding keys, alerting their handler to take medication and locating an exit. More related to a mental illness, the dogs can help by standing between a crowd and their handler to reduce the handler’s anxiety; turning on the lights and pulling the sheets off

of someone in bed who struggles waking up in the morning; putting its head into the handler’s hands to lower stress and cortisol levels in response to a handler’s panic attack; and for someone with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) who is having a flashback, the dog can lick his or her face to bring the handler back to the present moment. This is an incredible organization that is in great need of puppy raisers and fundraising volunteers. Hope Heels programs run in Edmonton, Calgary and a satellite program is in Medicine Hat. To be a part of program, volunteer or learn more about Hope Heels, visit www.hopeheels.com griponlife.ca

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Rev

it Happens | Reviews

Top picks for Spring regulations either, so if you love to be surprised and amused you’ll find a great read with this paperback. The book, as mentioned above, is a sort of biography, but it’s constantly jumping between side stitches and pure confusion. It makes you forget that you’re prying into another person’s life. And thank goodness you are, because Seriously… I’m Kidding makes you regret some of the opportunities you’ve missed, and gets you ready for the ones that are coming. Since the book covers just about any ordinary topic, relating to it is easy. The jokes are all aimed for an audience much like the Grip readers. Put down your Twilight, lose your Macbeth because DeGeneres has won this round. Grade: A Despite its story-like component, the chances of you disliking Ellen’s work are one in a million. The next time you’re in a book store, look for this book and read the reviews. Seriously.

of youth and be stiff and mature like the other adults. Another side effect from the procedure is that your interests may change or you may not even like the same people you did in the past. Hanna really doesn’t want that to happen. Lena’s whole perspective changes after she befriends Alex, who pretends to have already had the procedure, but actually has not. Lena questions how Alex is able to love her if he has been “cured.” They begin secretly meeting up and sneaking out after the strictly-enforced curfew, and eventually their love is discovered and they are separated. There are many twists and turns afterwards, leaving the reader eager to see what happens next. You get totally pulled into Lena’s world and the book is difficult to put down. Grade: A+ You are able to relate to the characters and feel their emotions.

Seriously… I’m Kidding By Ellen DeGeneres Reviewed by Jessica Highstead

Ellen DeGeneres is known for her positive outlook and hilarious personality, but her latest book Seriously … I’m Kidding still manages to surprise you. The book is insightful, sarcastic and sometimes a little ridiculous, too. It’s a comedian’s autobiography. DeGeneres manages to take you on the ride of her life’s events between her last book and now – and she hooks you in. You’re not reading about some woman who wrote a book about herself. You’re reading about some woman who was tricked into writing a book about herself … or so she claims. From her first love to her latest, and her voice acting roles to her talk show, Ellen seems to never have lived a boring day in her life. Her book, like her, follows no

Delirium By Lauren Oliver Reviewed by Fatima Carton

Sometimes love makes us do and choose things that we normally would not. Delirium’s main character, 18-year-old Lena, is excited that she will soon receive the cure for love. The plot is set in an alternate present where much of world was destroyed by bombs decades ago. In the book’s “today,” a totalitarian government preaches that love is a disease that needs curing and they refer to love as “the delirium.” It is mandatory for everybody 18 and over to receive the cure to love and Lena’s best friend Hanna is not eager for the procedure. She doesn’t want to miss the excitement

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eviews It’s almost time to replace your textbooks with something a little more fun and interesting. Give these books reviewed by Grip’s team a try and you will not be disappointed sneak into Snow White’s palace, all while avoiding the land’s knights, the treacherous wolf pack and the mute huntress. It’s a battle against time and mysterious forces. The secrets are out and the lies have been branded. All that’s left is pure, mortal abilities – strength, bravery, intelligence and heart. Will it be enough to save Alex and Connor and send them back home? Will they even want to go back home? Grade: A+ Chris Colfer created the ultimate fairytale quilt, stuffed with all your favourites and patched together. If you grew up wanting to be a princess with your own godmother or envying the knights of the round table, I would highly recommend checking this book out.

The Land of Stories: The Wishing Spell By Chris Colfer Reviewed by Jessica Highstead

The Land of Stories is a book that blends all of your classic fairytales and adds a new spin. The book is written for both children new to the world of fairytales as well as for adults who love the classics. The book is perfect to keep you on your toes and freshly enjoying the stories you grew up with. The Land of Stories: The Wishing Spell follows Alex and her twin brother, Connor, down a rabbit hole, or in this case, a fairytale book. When the twins get their bearings, they’re helped by a frog man, herded into caves and eventually sent on an adventure which sends them back home where their mother awaits. But before they head home, the two must face the evil queen, steal from Red Riding Hood, befriend Cinderella and

Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail By Cheryl Strayed Reviewed by Zosia Prus-Czarnecka

Taking the 1,100-mile (1,770-kilometre) solo hike was an impulsive decision that the writer, Cheryl Strayed, made in a desperate last attempt to rediscover the purpose to her life. Her parents divorced, her mother passed away, and then she experienced her own divorce and struggled to make sense of her life. More than a memoir, the book is a documentation of a young woman finding herself again. Beginning with a backpack that she can barely lift off of the ground, Strayed drags her feet along the beginning of the trail. It doesn’t take long, though, for her attitude to change and she begins to take pride in her decision. This is not your average hiking story. No one gets mauled by a bear or ends up clinging to the edge of a cliff. Sure, shoes are lost and bears are met but the frightening scenes are much wilder. Strayed introduces readers to the people she meets, described as helpful friends and leering men. More than anything, this book is a mirage of personalities and characters. Anything and everything that occurred in those 40-some days is laid down on the pages. Strayed discovers her voice through the journey and, as the story continues, her voice changes. The novel reads like a hike – rough and steep in parts, flat and resting in others. The panoramic views are the backdrop to flashbacks to her former self and, as she continues on, she begins to understand more about herself and her family. Teens ready to face the struggles of an unfolding life will greatly enjoy Wild. Grade: A+ This book is a work of genius and possesses a voice that is rarely found in novels. Although students in junior high will have no trouble reading Wild, the maturity of the text will truly be understood and appreciated by older readers in high school.

griponlife.ca

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Rev

it Happens | Reviews

Suggestions to Add to Your Playlist Another school year is almost done. Phew! Now take a break and enjoy some great tunes

Take Me Home By One Direction Reviewed by Fatima Carton

Take Me Home is One Direction’s second album. Former X Factor (TV series competition) winners, One Direction consists of Louis Tomlinson, 21, Zayn Malik, 20, Liam Payne, 19, Niall Horan, 19, and Harry Styles, 19. They all hail from England except Niall Horan, from Ireland. Fans might already be familiar with “Live While We’re Young,” which is aired on many radio stations. The album cover art has the group climbing on a phone booth, typical of One Direction’s playful style. The title track has a pop feel

to it and many of the songs make you want to get up and dance. “Kiss You” has the same party feel that we were introduced to in “Up All Night” from their last album. Take Me Home was released only 15 months after their debut Album, Up All Night, and Take Me Home was an instant hit. The “Kiss You” official music video shows that the band’s members are not afraid to goof around and have a good time. A great song to dance to is definitely “Hearts Attack,” which has a great beat. The lyrics from the album tell stories about first love and the way they feel about girls. The lyrics are filled with sweet compliments and memories. Some of the lyrics tend to be a little cheesy, but they grow on you. One Direction is a typical boy band and brings to mind The Backstreet Boys and The Jonas Brothers. The song “Rock Me” has a bit of an intense feel to it. Grade: A One Direction will appeal to the audience of Justin Bieber fans. It is a great album and very difficult to get sick of. Sitting still is hardly an option while listening to these upbeat catchy tunes.

Red By Taylor Swift Reviewed by Fatima Carton

Taylor Swift has released yet another prime album with Red. It’s the fourth album from the 23-year-old country pop artist. Swift has moved to a more poppy sound, much different from her original self-titled album. Red has many fast-paced songs with great beats. People are probably familiar with her track “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.” Swift also has some of her classic ballads on the album including “Sad, Beautiful, Tragic.” Swift continues in the direction she started in Speak Now of faster-sounding songs. The cover art shows a more sassy side of Swift than we are used to. Swift is expanding as an artist and musician. She is no longer the blond crooning country star we knew. She has blossomed into a beautiful, independent woman who can take care of herself. Swift shows girls that we do not need to rely on guys to be fulfilled. Many of her songs are

about her love life but we can see that it is not necessary to always have a boy on the go. In “22” she talks about the fun you can have being single and letting loose with your friends. Grade: A Taylor Swift is not disappointing her fans. Each new album is full of catchy uplifting tunes to sing along with.

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eviews Unapologetic (Deluxe version) By Rihanna Reviewed by Amal Farha

Worldwide, Rihanna is known as a successful artist who just can’t stop. She is an artist with a deep, heart breaking past. Ever since she was assaulted by her former boyfriend, Chris Brown, Rihanna has become more isolated and has a darker personality. Personally, I liked the Rihanna of the past more simply because she seemed happier, saner and connected. But who would blame her? Anyone would change after a beating, especially from someone that they loved dearly. Chris Brown is featured in her song “Nobody’s Business,” and the lyrics indicate that she has moved on from the past. This is a good trait, resilience, and it shows her to be a role model to not only fans, but to all teens. Rihanna’s music is mostly listened to by teens, because they can relate to it, connecting her to fans everywhere. But even though she’s famous, Rihanna always does her best, and never fails to impress. In Unapologetic, there are a number of catchy songs that touch the hearts of fans. “Stay,” featuring Mikky Ekko is a Top-20 single that’s a song filled with passion and heartwarming lyrics.

Other songs like “Fresh out the Runaway,” “Pour It Up,” and “Numb” are a few of the songs that show a more upbeat, let-it-all-go attitude. “Love Without Tragedy,” “Right Now,” “Lost in Paradise,” and “No Love Allowed” have a romantic feel. They put into words the pain of love and of wanting your loved one near you. The songs that are most inspiring to teen fans are “Diamond” and “Half of Me.” These songs teach fans that they are beautiful, no matter how they look or what they wear – everyone’s beautiful in their own way. Like the diamonds in the sky, each one of us is unique and special. Grade: A+ for creativity, inspiration, upbeat music and doing what she loves most: singing.

Heartthrob By Tegan and Sara Reviewed by Rhaea Larson

Heartthrob has been a music highlight of 2013. Most people are familiar with Tegan and Sara’s first single, “Closer,” from Heartthrob, which was released September 2012. The rest of the album was released on January 29, 2012. The sound of this album is unlike anything else that the twins from Calgary have produced. The indie elements that define their style is very present, but they’ve also mixed within them a synthy sound that adds a little extra poppy punch to the album; which is quite a refreshing mix when combined with the authentic, raw vibe of the duo. In fact, due to how well each song was arranged, any of the 10 songs on the album could be a hit. With these fresh and seasoned elements, it makes Heartthrob their catchiest work yet. With songs such as “Closer,” “I’m Not Your Hero” and “Drove Me Wild,” the sisters hit you with a faster-paced tempo and a feel-good rhythm that pulls you in. But don’t fool yourself, they are still able to slow it down with songs such as

“I Was A Fool,” “Love They Say” and “Shock To Your System.” These tunes let you sit and ponder the lyrics about love, rejection, uncertainty and self-acceptance. The cover art captures the essence of Tegan and Sara, showing an abstract collage of ripped paper shadowing the women’s faces. Add understated colours and font and you have a piece of art that has just enough oomph to make a statement. This album would most likely appeal to Dragonette, Polly Scattergood and Meg & Dia fans. All three have a unique indie sound that Tegan and Sara fans adore. Grade: A+ Tegan and Sara take a risk and mix it up, and it pays off! With mature lyrics and catchy synth backgrounds there is no way to dislike this album. griponlife.ca

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it Happens | Reviews

Game Time

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Here are Grip’s game picks for spring Title: Ni No Kuni:Wrath of the White Witch Platform: Playstation 3 Rating: Everyone 10+

Reviewed by: Evan Tran Ni No Kuni revolves around a young, kind, good-natured boy named Oliver, 13, who is met with his mother’s untimely passing. With the life he knows in shambles, he gets the chance to bring her back by saving an alternate world from destruction. For the first hour, the introduction is heavy on the story, the rest of the game keeps you going with things to do, moving you from city to dungeon to city at an excellent pace. The gameplay splits between two parts: one part is reminiscent of Pokemon games in which you fight with creatures (called familiars) that you capture in battle. The second part – the unexpected star of this game – is the combat system that is dynamic, active-time combat in a 3-D arena. Given a party of three, with the ability to control any single combatant at any time, and a tame yet effective AI-controlled party, the combat is equal parts diverse and dramatic. Along with non-conventional side quests there’s an exciting level of challenge at every step of the game. Level 5 is a worthy game on its own, but Ni No Kuni’s biggest draw is how it looks, which Studio Ghibli (Spirited away, Howl’s moving castle and Ponyo) is responsible for. With that in mind, Ni No Kuni is an admirable work of fiction that unfolds as you explore the world. Grade: A Gorgeous graphics, an engaging story, an engrossing battle system and at least 40 hours of gameplay make Ni No Kuni a must have for RPG fans.

Title: Proteus Platform: PC Rating: Everyone

Reviewed by: Grayson Evans Proteus isn’t your typical first-person video game. The first person genre is a familiar territory for most people who play video games; however Proteus is nothing like those games. It is a narrative experience, where you have no name. no understanding of where you are or what your purpose is. The game starts with the player becoming aware of his where-abouts, which is a few inches of water. From there, the only thing the player can do is explore. Proteus is a beautiful island depicted in a pseudo pixelated setting and the beautiful surroundings function without the player’s input. As you explore the island, you can find interesting animals, climb mountains and watch each season pass. As I played, I had a sense of confusion but was still in awe of the setting the entire time. If you are interested in expanding your understanding of what video games can do, play Proteus. Many games today are unfortunately becoming similar to one another; however, there are games like Proteus, developed by small teams of people that create unique and interesting adventures that truly expand the world and the art of video games. These games are cheap and a lot of fun. If you are looking for a game that makes you think, Proteus is a great place to start. Grade: A Proteus is a fantastic experience and will inspire you to fall into the indie game hole to wonderland.

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HELP wanTeD

Got a question that no one can answer, or that you’re too afraid to ask your parents, teacher or best friend? Send it to us at Grip. We guarantee anonymity, and we’re beyond embarrassment. We’ll find an expert to answer the most persistent question you have related to any topic: relationships, school, sexuality, puberty, drugs, love, life and the pursuit of happiness. So … what are you waiting for? I know this girl who is getting bullied by someone who all the teachers love, so she feels like if she told anyone that they wouldn’t believe her. What should I do? Taking on a question about the overall theme of this issue of Grip is expert Fred Bowen, the program co-ordinator of Lasting Impressions/FASD MAPS/Family Initiatives at Hull Services. He suggests to be a friend, a support and/or help her connect with other friends/supports. “Those that are bullied often feel segregated and lonely. With friends and supports such as other teachers or guidance counsellors, this girl will have people who believe her and can help her find effective solutions,” Bowen says. “It’s great that this girl has a friend like you who cares and is looking to help her with this.” He adds that if the teachers all love this girl who is not treating others very well, they will be eager to help this other girl change her ways and assist her to make a difference.

I have struggled with self-harm. I now have many scars that I feel embarrassed about. What can I do to not feel so negative about myself and move towards a healthier view of myself? “Scars, emotional and physical, do not heal easily and often remain for a long

period of time,” Bowen says. “The scars are a reminder of a time when things weren’t so good.” It takes a lot of courage and hard work to overcome those bad times and the scars may be a symbol of that. “The thing about healing oneself, though, is that it is often not enough to just stop the negative self thoughts. One needs to cultivate positive thoughts and experiences to replace those bad ones,” he says. Some suggestions and questions Bowen says to ask yourself are: What are the things that you like about yourself? If those are hard to come up with, ask your friends and family what they like about you. What are the things that you are good at? What are the things that are important to you and what are the things that you are passionate about? “As changes take time, find ways to cover up in a fashionable, easy way that will allow you a chance to develop your self esteem without having to answer 150 questions,” Bowen says. “The fact that you’re asking this question tells me you’ve already turned a

corner and are thinking differently. Good for you and all the best with that. You can do it!”

I’m in Grade 8 and my little sister is six years younger than me. She gets most of my parents’ attention because she can’t do as many things by herself like I can. This didn’t used to bug me too much but lately I’ve started to resent my sister and get mad at my parents a lot because they just don’t seem to have the time for me. Should I say something to my parents or just wait and hope things change as my sister gets older? Dr. Jonathan Eustace, a registered psychologist and clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Alberta applauds you for having the maturity and insight to even recognize the situation and ask this question. He says, “It probably would be a good idea to talk to your parents and let them know what your observations are.” These feelings are common to have about siblings and your parents. “There may be some things you can work on with your sister to get over those feelings,” Eustace says. Working on your feelings with your sister may be the best place to start. Who knows, she may be younger than you, but she might have some good ideas to make you feel better about the situation.

Help Wanted is provided for general informational purposes only and is not intended to replace consultations with your doctor or to provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health providers with any personal medical and health questions that you may have. Email helpwanted@griponlife.ca or mail Help Wanted, c/o Grip Magazine 10259-105 St., Edmonton, AB T5J 1E3

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The be strong Issue Life is tough and sometimes you get picked on, but donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t underestimate your strength. Knowing who you are makes you emotionally aware and confident, which sets you up for success against bullying. Bullying comes in many shapes and forms: physical, emotional and virtual. This issue of Grip examines strength from many angles so we can help build each other up.

Grow confidence

Purposeful Clothing

Being overly shy held one teen back until her self-determination and loyal friends helped boost her self esteem and eventually conquer a fear she had of being judged by others By Reshma Sirajee

What was all that pink about on February 27, 2013? By Lina Kim

Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Trending?

Mind Over Matter

What is Strength Anyway?

ARE social and emotional intelligence being pushed aside for academic achievements? By Vanessa Stewart

Keep your mind and body healthy By Samantha Stephenson

A teen questions what being strong means to her after experiencing personal struggles in her life By Luna Yang

Follow the Rules A first-person account from a teen who was the victim of bullying. she stood up for herself to change the situation By Raegan Larson

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GROW Conf

It takes inner strength and sometimes a shot in the dark to get over extreme shyness, but it can be done

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nfidence M

y shy nature was taking control of my life. All of my decisions were hindered by warning messages of “Don’t do this,” or “Don’t do that,” constantly filling my head. Being a new transfer student in Grade 7 was just the beginning of my journey of how I overcame my shyness and became a risk-taker. I used to go to a big junior high school with over 400 students in every grade. A large school like that meant no one noticed me in the crowd and blending in was as easy as pie. However, that “perfect” scenario for me was tarnished when my family decided to move to the opposite side of the city. That is how I ended up in a new junior high with less than 200 kids total for the entire building and I became the “new girl.” During my first few days at my new school, I didn’t talk much because I feared that people might judge me and not want to be my friend. I only spoke when someone talked to me, or when I was part of a group project and I was required to speak. The second week of school was when everything seemed to fall apart for me as I apparently made an enemy. For the first time, the person in class who usually got the highest mark didn’t because I did. Most classmates found the sudden change entertaining, while others did not like the fact that I didn’t show my excitement for my good marks. They didn’t realize that I was more modest than a know-it-all. That’s when the teasing began. The name-calling was led by that one person in the class who used to get the highest marks every time. He taunted me and called me a “try hard,” “nerd,” and “geek” and some others joined in with him. Being the person I was in Grade 7 – with low self-esteem – I took everything to heart and tried to keep myself from getting involved in class discussions or showing my marks to my classmates. Now I am in Grade 10 and when I look back at my junior high years, I can see how my fears of being judged made me believe everything I did was wrong. I vividly remember the very first time I spoke aloud in front of my classmates and did a presentation during my language arts class – my teacher made it mandatory for everyone to do at least six book review presentations in the school year. Public speaking was my biggest fear. For my very first book review, I nearly broke down into tears. Luckily, my teacher noticed my face turned pale and my eyes grow big with fear. I stared at my classmates for a minute with bloodshot, scared eyes, before my teacher smiled at me and told the class to put their heads down so I could present my book review. Everyone listened to her, and I proceeded with my presentation. It was the very first time I overcame my shyness and fear of public speaking and I was determined to follow through completely with my review at the front of the class. As usual, my worry of people judging me led me to fear that my classmates would tease me later on. However, what happened after the presentation was truly a climactic moment in my Grade 7 year: My L.A. teacher noted my book review was “excellent,” and suggested speaking a little louder and let everyone watch me for my next presentation. My classmates, right after hearing me do the presentation, complimented me, saying, “Nice job!” or “Whoa, you talk? Just kidding, amazing book review!” During phys-ed class a few days after my presentation, a girl asked me to be her partner for badminton. That very day, I discovered a new skill. My

By Reshma Sirajee

Be Strong

new friend, Vivienne, and I were the champions of the class badminton tournaments. Also, the gym teacher offered the two of us the opportunity to join the badminton team. At first, I wanted to decline the offer because I was afraid of letting Vivienne down if we lost. But she held her hand over her head for a high-five and convinced me to give it a shot. I accepted. By playing badminton together, I not only became good friends with Vivienne, but also made more friends through her. Those new friends helped me face many other challenges in life. I soon found myself being more and more open with them and myself. I expressed myself more, too. After my experiences and new adventures in Grade 7, I confidently put my hand up during class to either answer or ask a question. What really was surprising is that, after being so close with my friends, I was not scared to mess up. I used to blush red and get embarrassed whenever I said something that was wrong. But my friends began to laugh at my mistakes and made it seem more like I was funny, rather than wrong. I learned, the best way to ease out of an embarrassing situation – do not take it seriously, just laugh it off. Vivienne and her friends became my best friends. They pushed me to join sport teams, which they thought I was good at, like volleyball, baseball and badminton. Through joining other teams, I not only made friends, but also became courageous to express myself openly, and my public-speaking fear gradually faded away. What does it mean to be strong? How do we become strong? Through my junior high experience, I have learned that growing strong requires confidence. But how can you simply gain confidence when there is the fear of hitting rock-bottom that dominates all of your decisions? Growing strong does not happen overnight. “Strong” is something that comes from different areas of our lives. For me, my Grade 7 experience at my new junior high was like walking through a horror movie all alone. However, as soon as I got involved, made new friends and took chances, my fears vanished. Are you someone who is shy and afraid to express yourself? Here are things you should do: get involved, take a chance, and just go for it. Involving yourself in sports teams or clubs will help you gain confidence and give you an opportunity to get close to people your age with similar interests: your teammates. In Grade 7 when I played badminton with Vivienne, we qualified for the city championships. Even though we did not win any medals (we placed fourth among 10 teams), it was a moment of pride because I never thought I could make it that far. If you are being picked on, one trick that I always use when someone is mean to me, is to take it as a joke. Laugh it off. Just look strong, even if you are pretending a bit and hiding what you feel inside. Appearing strong in front of someone will lead him or her to think that you are invincible. As a result, the person will get bored and leave you alone and you will gradually become stronger just by getting rid of the negative influence. Just remember, overcoming fear and shyness gets easier with the support of friends and your own determination. So just step forward, take a shot in the dark and you will be surprised by what you achieve. griponlife.ca

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l u f e s o Purp By Li na Ki m

Clothing “Be the change you want to see in the world.” – Gandhi

Inspirational teens take a stand against bullying and have a lasting impact

Before Pink Was Cool

andhi’s quote basically describes what Grade 12 students Travis Price, David Shepherd and others did to stir up the idea of Pink Shirt Day in 2007. It began when a Grade 9 boy wore a pink shirt on his first day at the same school in Nova Scotia that Travis and David went to. A group of bullies saw the boy and his shirt and decided to pick on him, simply because he was wearing the colour pink. Travis, David and their friends heard about the incident with the new student, and within a day, organized a protest to sympathize with and support the boy who was picked on. Their protest included distributing pink shirts they purchased at a thrift store to all the boys in their school, with instructions to proudly wear them the day after the bullying incident. When the new student walked into the school the next day and saw all the boys wearing pink, his frown quickly changed into a smile, and the bullies were never heard from again. The fact that high school students actually took a stand against bullying to help a boy they barely even knew was really inspiring then and still is years later. Pink Shirt Day became an official event across Canada in 2008, and it’s celebrated every year on the last Wednesday in February – this year it was on February 27th. This anti-bullying event’s message is spreading beyond just

Canadian borders, with the likes of Ellen DeGeneres, comedian and talk show host, acknowledging the event and her support for it on her show.

Getting in on the Action So now that you know how this anti-bullying event started, how about showing some support for the awesome event? One of the most effective ways to support Pink Shirt Day is through social media – Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or any other site that can help spread the word. Even though the event has grown a lot since it first started, more support is better, right? You can also join Pink Shirt Day’s Facebook events (www.facebook.com/pinkshirtday) or even create your own and invite everyone you know to attend. Does your community celebrate Pink Shirt Day? If not, you can go to the website (www. pinkshirtday.ca) to register your school,

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Be Strong leadership class students, Jade and Chariz, about a week before the big event.

Q: How does Pink Shirt Day stop or help stop bullying, in your opinion?

Jade: Pink Shirt Day really shows people that they can really take a stand against bullying to help stop it. It’s a really good event because it supports and advertises anti-bullying. Chariz: Pink Shirt Day shows how our school doesn’t tolerate bullying, and when people buy Pink Shirt Day shirts, it shows that they really support anti-bullying. Miss Pasemko: Pink Shirt Day is a good way to show kids that the entire school is against bullying.

Q: Do you think the kids at our school agree that the event is a good idea?

J: In my opinion, they should agree that the event is a good idea. Bullying isn’t acceptable. C: Yes. Of course! MP: Definitely! I noticed this through the T-shirt sales.

Q: Do you know how many shirts have been sold for the event?

MP: About 359 have been sold so far, but we’re organization or business to participate and take a stand against bullying. Another way to help is by purchasing Pink Shirt Day T-shirts that are sold online from the event’s website through participating schools and at your local London Drugs store. The proceeds of funds raised from Pink Shirt Day go to the Boys & Girls Clubs of South Coast B.C. and CKNW Orphans’ Fund. If you organize a Pink Shirt Day event in your neighbourhood or even in your household, email your event photos to photos@pinkshirtday.ca and you could be featured on the Pink Shirt Day website.

still selling the shirts, so the number will probably be higher by Pink Shirt Day.

Q: Do you know how much money has been raised for the event?

MP: About $2,200! We’re expecting about a couple hundred dollars more because we’re still selling T-shirts.

Q: Are you taking this event seriously? J: I think so. Anti-bullying is definitely an

First-hand Knowledge

important matter, and I think that more people should take it seriously. C: Yes. I’ve been picked on, and it did not feel good. Nobody deserves it. MP: Yes! I love that this event reinforces antibullying at our school.

This year, my school celebrated Pink Shirt Day for the first time. Our Grade 9 leadership class and teacher, Miss Pasemko, led the event. I had a chance to interview Miss Pasemko and two

Pink Shirt Day at our school was astonishing. A couple of days before the actual event, all the students from Grades K to 9 coloured and deco-

rated paper pink shirts that were hung up on the walls. It was an incredible sight to see such colourful, sparkly, neon pink shirts literally everywhere you looked! The obvious time and effort it took the students to finish the shirts showed that we have a lot of support in our school to stop bullying. On the day of the event, my seven-year-old little sister wore pink from head to toe. I wore my pink shirt, a pink headband and pink earrings. When I entered the school, I was overwhelmed: the school looked like a bouquet of pink roses. Although there were many more elementary kids wearing pink than junior high students, it was a great sight to see; it felt like I was wading through a river of pink. Plus, those who were wearing pink weren’t just wearing their pink T-shirt. Some kids wore pink skirts, headbands, moustaches, glasses – basically everything they had that was pink. Even the teachers wore bright pink shirts. Later in the day, we had a Leader In Me/Pink Shirt Day assembly. Leader In Me is a program that our school is a part of that helps students develop leadership qualities. The gym was packed because all 600 students, plus staff, were in the gym for the assembly. I could tell that the elementary kids were super excited because our school mascot, Kona the Wolf, was at the assembly proudly wearing a Pink Shirt Day shirt! The assembly was started by my friend, Savannah, who recited a poem called “The Voice” by Shel Silverstein. The poem was about how there is a voice inside of you, and that even the wisest man cannot decide what’s right for you because you have to listen to the voice. Next, the leadership class showed a PowerPoint they made that included bullying facts, such as at least one quarter of bullies have a criminal record by the age of 13 and acts of bullying are often invisible to teachers and adults. After the PowerPoint presentation, our vice-principals spoke about the importance of continuing our anti-bullying efforts. Overall, I think that Pink Shirt Day at our school was a huge success, and it definitely inspired me to make a positive change for a better society. Remember what Gandhi said.

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What’s Tren The ability to set priorities is important for busy teens but it can also be a tough process to figure out what to set your focus on

n school, we only receive evaluation for academic courses. There’s no subject that marks us on our generosity or kind heartedness. When report card day comes around this semester, my emotional capacity will not receive a grade. Emotional capacity is not a school subject, neither is coping strategies, but both are important to understand for success in life. My school career will only measure the ability I have to label diagrams and unravel equations. But really, that’s what school is for: measuring how much you learned in your core subjects and options. And since I’m in Grade 12, I will experience exactly that type of judgment considering my last diploma exams lurk with the malicious threat of tipping my final grade by as much as 50 per cent. Why is it that some teens melt under the pressure when diploma time is just around the corner and others don’t? Of course, doing well in school typically opens up many doors of opportunity, which put homework and studying on the

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ending?

Be Strong

By Vanessa Stewart

minds of many students and parents. But success needs to include a variety of abilities and interests and the related question some guidance counsellors ask is: are teens losing the ability to handle everyday, common-sense problems because they are only “book smart”? Why do some teens find it difficult to search for a job or talk to a teacher about a low mark without getting their parents involved? Is it smart to have academics outweigh the importance of social and emotional intelligence in younger generations? Lindsay Hope-Ross, a registered psychologist and clinical lead of Healthy Minds/Healthy Children outreach service and supervisor of community education service, says teens that have not been exposed to coping methods for everyday life struggles are more likely to rely on their caregivers to make decisions and choices for them. Focusing on academics can lead to this situation, but it is not the only cause for the problem. It also doesn’t help when all energy is placed in one area of a teen’s life as that also leads to a lack of independence and wellroundedness. It takes a lot of work to become a well-rounded person and it is important to try at any age. For teens, with all of their self-imposed pressure, as well as pressure from parents and teachers, it is easy for them to get anxious and over-

whelmed. Unrealistic expectations of perfectionism can warp a young person’s sense of self-worth, especially if he or she has failed once or twice at meeting such high standards. Teens that pressure themselves too heavily on a single flavour of life tend to dull what other good tastes are out there. The idea is to balance out how to accomplish goals while also enjoying downtime. Moderation is the key because it is important to focus on all aspects of living a good life. Doing well academically is just a part of it. Without developed coping skills, pressure to do well in school can build up. Hope-Ross says it’s crucial to set goals when dealing with the pressure associated with doing well in school. By talking to your parents and setting up reasonable academic expectations, you can breathe easy, and find equilibrium. When you can agree upon these goals, there’s no need to surrender the other valuable parts of your life, like personal hobbies. Also, writing your goals down can confirm and clarify what you and your parents agreed. In the fall of 2012, I attended a suicide prevention conference put on by Alberta Health Services as a Grip assignment. At the conference, I learned about the importance of being socially and emotionally aware when confrontation occurs. Hope-Ross considers self-knowledge as one of the most important tools when dealing in social situations. Knowing yourself and the way you handle stress gives you insight on how to deal with future problems.

If you ever find yourself being bullied, Hope-Ross suggests you short-circuit the stress response by using common sense. Take deep breaths and think through your options rather than acting impulsively. It is also a good idea to talk to an adult you trust for support regarding how to respond in a tough situation like bullying. Tech Talk Our emotional capacity and coping strategies are being eroded by the way we use technology. There is a lack of human connection when teens use the Internet and cellphones as their main form of communication. Since teens are known to spend a lot of time on social networking sites, we might be missing the ability to handle conflict that’s not presented online. When a problem arises in real life it will be harder to deal with if you have no experience with face-to-face confrontation. That’s why moderation is the key to using technology to communicate. Balancing the time you spend talking to friends online with the time you spend hanging out in the physical realm gives you the ability to recognize and handle almost any confrontation that comes your way. Hope-Ross says social media can be a double-edged sword: on one side, it allows for a rapid exchange of information, the development of

otherwise impossible social relationships, and the expression of various ideas amongst many people. On the other side, the online world does not always reflect reality because of manufactured personas, fantasy, and non-direct conversations. This altered reality can lead to deception, exploitation and false expectations, with all of the emotional fallout as well. Another problem with the Internet, Hope-Ross says, is it allows people to remain anonymous, which can encourage bullying. Youth are left to deal with real problems stemming from an unreal world. Due to age, teens have little experience dealing with real-world issues, and are destined to struggle with cyber-relationship negotiations and concerns. Being well-rounded is a guarantee to having better control over your life, so get emotionally and socially educated. Adults can help teens gain more of this type of intelligence by showing what good communication looks like. Hope-Ross believes that the easiest way to inspire younger generations and teach them the importance of self-knowledge is to lead by example. When adults understand the significance of coping methods and stress responses, the children they mentor will, too. Try to get the adults in your life to take some responsibility and help you determine your long-term goals. Through monitoring your independence and being aware of your focus, you can accomplish your goals and still have control of everyday life. griponlife.ca

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Definition Clarification By Ann Lee

The word “bully” gets used a lot in schools, with peers and in the media, but what does this buzz word really mean and are people using the term correctly? When is a bully, really a bully? Grip contributor Ann Lee interviewed Caroline Missal, senior manager, Cross Ministry Services Alberta Education to help properly define the word “bully.” Q: What is the difference between someone who is teasing and someone who is being a bully? A: The definition of bullying contains three elements: bullying is a behaviour that is repeated, has intent to harm and usually involves a power imbalance. The difference is that teasing may or may not be repeated, and isn’t meant to hurt someone. We usually try to avoid using the term bully because a person might engage in bullying behaviour, but they aren’t bullying 24/7; it is not their entire being. If the person being teased doesn’t tell the person doing the teasing that they don’t like it, then the alleged bully might not necessarily know that they are hurting anyone. Q: How can a teen draw the line when being teased, to prevent things from becoming bullying? A: The first thing is that if someone is teasing you, or saying things that you don’t appreciate, you have to let them know that. Then if the teasing stops, it isn’t bullying since they probably weren’t aware that they were causing you to be upset. If you say “I don’t like it when you call me that,” or “I don’t like it when you do that” and it continues, then that’s when you’ve got a problem and you need to engage an adult to help you. Q: If you are being treated in a bad way by a friend who doesn’t believe you when you confront them to say it bothers you, what do you do? A: If you’ve told them repeatedly, I think you’ve done all you should. Usually what we tell teens is to try to solve it on your own by telling the person bothering them, and if it continues, get help from somebody else.

Q: How do you know if the teasing you do crosses the line? And how do you make sure your relationship with the friend you were teasing is not ruined? A: You would hope that your friend would tell you if they didn’t appreciate what you were saying to them, or if they found something you were saying offensive or hurtful. If they aren’t saying it verbally, then you could look for physical cues: read their body language to see if something is upsetting them, such as crossing arms, turning away from you, or avoiding you completely. Q: Can a situation when a teen “cries wolf” for attention make it difficult for them if they are actually bullied later on? A: If someone is “crying wolf” then that behaviour is saying something, too. I think it would make me, as an adult, wonder why they are doing that. What their need for attention is and how that can be worked on. It could make it hard for the teen when they are being bullied. The advice we give to teens being bullied is that you do need to tell an adult, and tell until somebody listens. Q: What other things can make it difficult when a teen is being bullied? A: If a teen bullied other people before, or if a teen won’t tell anyone, it can make it difficult to solve the problem. You should never “hit back.” Unless you are really in danger, you should never use force. Here are resources to help you understand or prevent bullying: www.b-free.ca and www.bullyfreealberta.ca and bullyingcanada. ca/content/239900. If you feel you are being bullied and need someone to talk to, you can also call Bully Free Alberta’s 24-hour, seven-day-aweek toll-free line (1-888-456-2323) that has trained counsellors waiting for your call.

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n n

Quiz

Is Your Behaviour Crossing the Line?

Be Strong By Sarah Richards

Did you ever think you were just having some fun and the person you were teasing was just too sensitive? Maybe you should think again. Take this short quiz to find out if you are actually the problem

1. There is a new student in your class

who is physically disabled and needs a wheelchair. How do you interact with her?

a) You treat her respectfully as you would anyone else in your class. Help her with things like directions around the school, catching up on schoolwork and so on. b) You pick on her and call her names. You also spread rumours. c) You ignore her and never talk to her face-toface. Sometimes you talk behind her back.

4. Your friends always make fun of

a classmate who has an unusual sense of style but they say they won’t like you anymore if you stand up for her. What do you do?

a) You stand up for her no matter what – even if you end up losing your friends. b) You don’t stand up for her. It’s not worth losing your friends over. c) You make fun of the girl, too. What kind of person wears old, outdated clothing anyway?

5. You forgot your lunch at home today and you don’t have any money. What do you do?

a) You get someone to buy you lunch and don’t pay them back. It wasn’t your fault that you forgot your lunch. b) You ask someone to buy you lunch but make sure she has enough money first. You pay her back the next day. c) You get a friend to share lunch with you. He always has lots of food, and you’ll try to bring him something tomorrow.

2. W hat do you do if you see someone

picking on a kid at school? a) You walk away quickly and hope that the person doesn’t start picking on you, too. b) You find someone to help you stand up to the bully. It’s not fair for anyone to be bullied. c) You team up with the bully and make fun of the other person. You hope that this will get you on the good side of the bully. It might help you out later on.

3. You’re the captain for your gym class

volleyball team. On your team there’s a shy kid who isn’t athletic and an athletic guy who picks on everyone else. How do you manage your team?

a) You get angry and yell at the shy kid whenever he messes up. No wonder nobody wants to play with him. b) You make sure the athletic guy gets the most playing time. It’ll help your team win. c) You let everyone play equal amounts of time.

5-8 Points Based on this quiz it’s likely that you take advantage of most situations and aren’t afraid to offend people along the way. Acting out bully-like behaviour is never a good thing so the sooner you break this habit, the better. You should try putting yourself in the victim’s shoes to understand what it feels like to be picked on.

9-11 Points You do show some bullylike characteristics, such as watching someone be picked on from the sidelines or talking behind people’s backs. You should try to stop these negative behaviours now.

12-15 Points Good job! You don’t hurt others on purpose and you report or help when someone is picked on. Keep up the good work!

Note: This quiz is not intended to be a diagnostic tool. Rather it is for your entertainment and enjoyment. If you are being bullied, be strong, confident, and tell an adult if someone is picking on you. griponlife.ca

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4/11/13 12:42:12 PM

Mind Matter OVER

What to do you do if your thoughts are negative enough to affect how you feel physically? By Samantha Stephenson

an you imagine what it would feel like to have all the confidence in the world? Have you ever stressed out about a test so much your shoulders hurt or you became ill? Well, what if I told you that it’s all in your mind and that your thoughts can actually affect your body? When you are thinking things to yourself, it’s called “selftalk,” which can be positive or negative. But both will affect your body. When you are thinking in a positive manner, you are propelling yourself towards your goals and living your dreams. When you are thinking negatively, on the other hand, your body can feel pain as a result. Negative thought patterns can lead to different emotions, such as stress, worry, grief and frustra-

tion, which can cause pain in major organs like your lungs, liver, spleen and pancreas. Dr. Greg Schoepp, pediatric psychologist with Alberta Health Services, says many teens are affected by stress and mood problems. About five to six per cent of 13- to 18-year-old teens will experience either a serious anxiety or mood issue. And sadly, many of these problems go untreated because individuals do not speak up about them. On the website www.anxietybc.com, it suggests many good ways to keep thinking positively and living healthy. Eating and exercising regularly are good starts. Avoiding illegal drugs along with alcohol, tobacco and excessive caffeine are also proven ways to keep your thoughts healthy. You can also try to learn coping skills, such as calm breathing or simplifying large, dif-

ficult tasks by breaking them up into smaller, more manageable parts. It may be hard, but take time off for yourself, especially when you’re experiencing stress. Practise putting these suggestions to use and get into the habit of using them often. One trick that I use to stir up positive thinking involves trying things that scare me. If you try something, give yourself credit for trying whatever it was you chose to do, even if the outcome wasn’t exactly what you hoped for. Being proud of yourself for anything, big or small, can be a huge pick-me-up. Challenging your negative selftalk is a tough, but effective, way to change your thought patterns. Be satisfied with your work even if it’s not perfect and celebrate the little things, like passing an exam at school, or maybe the simple fact that you were at school all day.

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Be Strong

I struggle with social anxiety and I know just how bad it gets when you struggle with any sort of mental issue. Your shoulders burn, you make yourself throw up just at the thought of doing something that makes you nervous. Some days you can’t even get yourself out of bed to take on the day. Any sort of mental health struggle is hard. Others don’t always see that you are struggling. They can’t because it all takes place in your head. But, to paraphrase my favourite wizard, Dumbledore from the Harry Potter series, just because it’s happening inside your head doesn’t mean it’s not real. If you think that a friend of yours is struggling with unhealthy thinking and negative thought patterns, as a good friend, you probably want to help. To actually be able to help, you need to know the symptoms of

negative/unhealthy thinking. According to www.aacap.org and www.selfgrowth.com, the effects of negative thinking on your behaviour include: • Having expectations that are too high and focusing on something that you did wrong or wish you could have done better, even when the outcome is great. • Even if something is not your fault, you still react as if it were. • Exaggerating the negative aspects of a situation when things aren’t going the way you want them to. Right then, you feel like you’re not good at anything and nothing ever goes right for you. • Jumping to negative conclusions without knowing all the details of a situation. • Labelling yourself in a nasty, mean way. • Ignoring facts of situations and letting your emotions control you.

Talk to someone you trust (a teacher, parent, coach) about your feelings and ask about different ways that you can stop your emotions from taking over. The Internet has a lot of good information and YouTube is flooded with people sharing their stories about dealing with stress and stress-related panic attacks. Also, Kids Help Phone (1-800-668-6868, kidshelpphone.ca) is able to give a listening ear if you just need to talk. Negative thinking will always be around because disappointments are just a part of life. Everyone has good days as well as bad days. Some stress is good and needed and that is always something to keep in mind. It’s good to keep your thoughts healthy so that your body can stay healthy, too. Never let unhealthy thinking be the only way you see the world.

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28 By Luna Yang

One word can hold many meanings. A Grip contributor shares her version of what being strong is

that. All I know is that in Grade 8 I hit another one of my “lows.” It was my second year in a new school and I felt lost. Family life was not much better and math was hard. That’s when I first got suicidal. I suppose I did what somebody who is depressed should do: I talked. I called help lines. I talked to therapists, teachers and my mother. I walked for kilometres on end. And I ignored any attempts that my grandparents made to talk to me. After one particular talk with my therapist, I remember getting mad at his constant use of the term “be strong.” Be strong?! He gets paid $50 an hour to tell me to “be strong”? I went home after that talk, grabbed an apple and slammed it against the shower stall before sitting down and trying to simultaneously breathe, cry and hurt all at the same time. Even now, I can’t say with all honesty that I’m “OK” or even sane for that matter. Or, is this what being sane actually is? I do know one thing, though, I got through it. I got through 14 years worth of egos and family issues within that short time because of all my talking and walking. (Exercise, it turns out, helps treat symptoms of depression.) Maybe it all adds up to “strength.” Chances are that I’ll spend my entire life searching for what exactly “being strong” is. I’ll be forever questioning. Maybe everybody wonders? However, I’ll continue to be who I am, what I was sculpted to be, for all my flaws and imperfections and obsessions: I am a writer.

ILUUSTRATIONS: CHARLES STOCKWELL

m I cold? Yes. Am I strong? I’m not sure. Webster’s Dictionary defines “strong” as “having great strength; having great resources.” I recall staring at those words at 3 a.m. with eyes glazing over and they felt meaningless to me. I’m a writer. Words, for me, are meant to be solid, carved into stone like immobile, yet fluid, creatures I can manipulate into any form that I like. However, when asked to define this one word – strong – I’m at a loss. Words have been taught to me my entire life – not the other way around. Strength. What does “being strong” mean? A friend once described me as “the strongest person she knew.” Yet, weeks later, I left. I hid. The intensity of such emotion – that deep, bonding friendship was too much for me and I abandoned her. I didn’t reply to her emails. I ignored her calls. I walked down another hallway at school. I took all precautionary measures to ignore this person who made me feel much more than I thought I could or should. How could I possibly be the strongest person she knew? In Grade 6, life threw me a doozy. Bam. While trying to deal with being bullied, excluded and one of the only Chinese people in my school, family issues crawled out of the woodwork. “Hey, I’m the person you’ve admired for your entire life. Yeah. I knew you loved me. Why? Because I’m your grandfather.” He used that admiration against me and smashed my face into a blender. After that, we moved away from my grandparents, and moved a few times more until we finally ended up in Edmonton. It’s hard to tell if things got better after

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4/10/13 11:34:29 AM

ILUUSTRATIONS: CHARLES STOCKWELL

Be Strong

Being a victim of bullying is not easy but standing up for yourself can sometimes seem even harder. One writer tells Grip readers how she decided enough was enough By Raegan Larson

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here are two rules in bullying: never tell and never draw attention to yourself. It was the spring of 2010. I was 13, an avid reader of all things vampire and a fan of pink – more commonly known as an average girl. Movies and TV painted the backdrop to all I knew about bullying. To me, a bully was no more than a villain in a book, and a bullying victim was the unfortunate, unsupported “damsel in distress” to be saved by the protagonist. Only problem was, that was fiction. My black-and-white view slowly morphed a little during Grade 7 math. If you were to ask me what we learned that year, I couldn’t tell you. All I remember was that my calculator seemed to have grown legs and ran off to live behind the dryer with my right sock. Month after month, my calculator went “missing” only to turn up on a dusty shelf wedged behind the 1965 encyclopedias. My acknowledgement of its absence would always elicit a snicker or giggle from a partic-

ularly catty group of girls who also delighted in frequent gossip sessions and well-placed insults around every corner. I never questioned the calculator incidents, I never got angry and I never told. One day, as I was returning to class, I noticed that my calculator had, yet again, vanished from atop the heap of books on my

each student I sat up a little straighter. That rainy day in May, I told. I wasn’t crushed by the shame anymore. I won’t lie and say that group of girls never bothered me again; that type of ending only ever happens in Hollywood. I will say that my calculator lost its magic ability to walk and stayed put. My bullies were friendly and polite after that day, if not a little cool. Later on, I heard through the grapevine that they had been marched into the principal’s office for a stern talking to. Finally, in June, one of the girls pulled me aside in the empty library. While she didn’t apologize, she did tell me that the object of her best friend’s affections had set his sights on me and the group had thought to teach me a lesson through their actions. At this point in a book, my bullies and I would all sit down to have a heart-to-heart and emerge friends. Sadly, though, my story doesn’t end like that. (Thank you Hollywood for my oh-so-realistic

I wasn’t crushed by the shame anymore. I won’t lie and say that group of girls never bothered me again; that type of ending only ever happens in Hollywood.

desk. Initially, my heart sank like the Titanic, struck by an iceberg of shame. This time though, I got angry. We had a test that day and I was seeing red. But like a “good victim,” I went and sat down, quiet as a mouse. As the teacher began winding her way through the desks, delivering the exam to

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Be Strong expectations!) Sure, I forgave my bullies. I would even go as far to say that I understood their motives, but I would never be friends with them and I would never sacrifice anything for them, either. From that day forward, I was a little wary of people. The whole ordeal knocked my self-esteem down a few notches and I didn’t know who was genuinely on my side or what people thought of me. It’s embarrassing to be picked on and makes you feel like you failed somehow. I expected classmates to think less of me after they heard about the bullying and some of them did. Overcoming people’s new-found perception of me was not a steep mountain to climb, like I had predicted. In reality, the metaphorical Everest of problems was my own self-consciousness and tendency to act like a victim. Every time I ran into one of the girls who had bullied me, I worried: worried about what they were planning and worried about what they thought of me. After such an encounter, I desperately searched for reassurance that, yes, I was not only wanted, but needed, too. Nobody could teach me how to love myself, or shake the victim mentality from my head. Luckily, I was surrounded by people who slowly pushed me outside my walls. To this day, I still feel insecure at times and when I see someone being picked on, I feel a need to intervene. I would like to think that bullying is a problem that only I have ever faced (call me narcissistic), but it’s not. Bullying is this gigantic universal thing that happens anywhere, at any time, by people you know or by complete strangers. My advice to you, if you are being bullied, is to not keep it bottled up. I never had the courage to tell anyone at first and, because of this, suffered for a lot longer than was necessary. Releasing the truth and all the feelings that come with being bullied to a trusted friend, teacher or adult can sometimes be all a person needs in order to cope and make the situation better. As I learned, nobody can help you if they can’t see the problem. Possibly the most important and difficult part of dealing with bullies is to not believe what they say or do is justifiable. Bullying

may hurt, but the key to pushing through it and coming out victorious is having a high self-esteem. This is easier said than done on most occasions, but when someone insults, belittles or hurts you, it’s important to keep yourself from being caged by your own insecurities. I did this by listing off all the things

I liked about myself (cliché city). At first, the list was rather short but in time it grew to be quite extensive. Believing that parts of me were good mixed up in all the bad was what made me stick up for myself in the end. There are two rules in bullying: never hide it and always love yourself.

BULLY MYTHS AND FACTS FOR ADULTS Promoting Relationships and Eliminating Violence Network (PREVNet) is a Canadian authority on the research and resources to prevent bullying. Its mission is to stop bulling in this country, while promoting healthy relationships for children and youth. Here are some of the myths and facts about bullying found on PREVNet’s website, www.prevnet.ca.

MYTH: Bullying does not cause any serious harm. FACT: Bullying is associated with a range of physical and mental health problems, including suicide, educational problems, antisocial problems and relationship problems.

SOLUTION: Identify children and teens at risk for bullying and/or victimization and provide support for their development in order to prevent the negative consequences associated with this type of disrespectful peer relationship.

MYTH: Reporting bullying will only make the problem worse. FACT: Given the power imbalance that exists between the child who bullies and the child who is victimized, it is difficult for children who are being victimized to remove themselves from this destructive relationship. They make numerous attempts to make the bullying stop on their own but these efforts are usually unsuccessful and may make the bullying worse. Adult intervention is required to correct the power imbalance. Children and parents may have to report the bullying to more than one person before the behaviour will stop. We do know that victimized children who told an adult about being bullied reported being less victimized the following year compared to children who did not report being bullied (Yuile, Pepler, & Craig, 2004). When no one talks about bullying, children who bully feel they can carry on without consequences. Secrecy empowers the bully.

SOLUTION: Encourage children and teens to report bullying and give them multiple strategies to make these reports. Adults must convey the message that they want to know about children’s experiences and that it is the adult’s job to make sure the bullying stops.

MYTH: Children who are victimized need to stand up and fight back. FACT: Encouraging kids and teens who are victimized to fight back may, in fact, make the bullying interaction worse. We know that when children use aggressive strategies to manage bullying situations, they tend to experience prolonged and more severe bullying interactions as a result (Mahady Wilton, Craig, & Pepler, 2000).

SOLUTION: Encourage children and teens to be assertive, not aggressive, and to inform a trusted adult about what has happened to them.

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4/11/13 12:38:18 PM

She SaidH

Two Grip contributors lace up the gloves and take on tough questions about bullies

Her Opinion Grip How would you describe a bully? Ann Lee The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines bully as “a blustering browbeating person; especially one habitually cruel to others who are weaker.” I don’t completely agree. I think a bully is more than just a person who walks around ruining lives of “weaker” people. I think someone who bullies is often misunderstood and going through some rough times. From my own experiences and what guidance counsellors tell me, bullying stems from a tough home life or insecurities. Of course, no reason makes mistreating others acceptable. Bullying is a behaviour that is categorized into many forms, such as negative gossip and school bullying. Not all cases are the same but have a similar basis: the intent is to harm others and the behaviour goes on for a while until the victim gets help, or confronts the bully. A bully is someone who, for whatever reason, will purposely tease, assault or taunt another person, and continue doing so until confronted. G. What do you do if you or a friend is being bullied? A.L. Whenever bullying affects me directly or my friends, I address it and make sure I let the bully know that picking on others is intolerable. I am confident enough to oppose bullies now, but if you asked me what my reaction would be to bullies a few years ago, it would have been completely different. I’ve never really been sporty, or particularly pretty, and when I was younger, I was often selfconscious about my weight, and other issues. I never stood up for myself or others who were picked on. I would quickly walk away. My friends, however, always stuck up for me, and helped boost my confidence to the point where I was strong enough to stand up on my own and help others do the same. G. What do you think should happen to bullies if they are caught picking on someone? A.L. In some schools around the world, bullies who are caught are shamed in front of their classmates and some are physically punished. I believe that to stop a bully, you must change his or her mindset. A common reason for harassing other students is for power. If you scare bullies to stop, it may feel satisfying but

once they get over their fear, they will be at it again. However, when a bully is caught and taught to see the wrong in his or her behaviour, counsellors, parents and school administrators can then give a meaningful consequence. An example of a consequence could be for the bully to spend time, under supervision, with the people he or she has bullied. Get to know them as real people. Gradually, as the typical antisocial behaviour of a bully is addressed, you can change the bully’s future for the better.

I think someone who bullies is often misunderstood and going through some rough times. G. Is there any way you can prevent being bullied? A.L. To avoid being bullied, there are many things that a person can do. Standing up straight, talking clearly and maintaining eye contact while talking. You can also show confidence and strength – characteristics that aggressors avoid challenging. You could also make friends with a group of assertive teens who don’t stand for bullying. One main thing bullies look to get out of hurting others is a reaction. By ignoring their comments and not reacting explosively, you can discourage the behaviour. But the best thing you can do is love yourself and enjoy life!

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4/11/13 12:40:35 PM

dHe Said

Be Strong

Grip assigned some questions to two contributors to get an idea of how they would characterize and describe bullying By Ann Lee and Stephen Gust

HIS Opinion Grip Who is a bully? Stephen Gust Any person, with malicious intent or otherwise, who acts with a lack of concern towards another is participating in bullying. Many bullies are not aware that they are bullying. A joke gone too far, not knowing when to stop teasing, offhand remarks – are all acts of bullying. However, what truly matters is when scattered acts of bullying become a behavioural pattern with a full intent to harm someone else. That’s when someone becomes a bully. These true bullies are typically insecure and rectify their feelings by taking others down a peg. Bullies are not limited to the “big kids” on the playground who won’t let you play on the slide. Bullying often goes unnoticed and uncorrected in children. Thus, schoolyard bullies tend to grow into larger bullies even in adult life.

To end bullying, we must celebrate the dignity that makes us all human rather than the differences that distinguish and separate us. G. How can you help yourself or a friend who is being bullied? S.G. In my Grade 8 year, the ninth-grade skateboarders cornered me in the hallways or followed me from a distance. I led them straight to the office and ate my lunches in the reception chairs. For me, two actions were sufficient: I

avoided the problem as much as possible and sought support from teachers, friends and parents. I recognized that I could wait out the bullies and be free of them for my Grade 9 year. An important step to take when dealing with bullying is to let everyone close to you know what is going on. Bullies ultimately are cowards, so the more people who know about the bully’s behaviour, the less a bully desires to make himself known by acting out and picking on someone. The other key is to not show fear or vulnerability. If you let yourself be intimidated by a bully, he or she will continue to intimidate you. It is a direct feedback loop. G. What are the next steps after bullies are caught picking on someone? S.G. When teachers or parents identify bullying they must take action to give bullies access to counselling and therapy to target the psychological issues from which the behaviour stems. It has been said that a bully at school is a victim at home. Parents of bullies must be educated to identify and correct the behaviour of their bullying child as well as their own behaviour. Bullies who are caught should receive mandatory help – this could serve as both a deterrent and an avenue for personal change. G. What are some ways we can stop bullying? S.G. To end bullying as a whole, there must be a societal paradigm shift. Too often, we celebrate differences instead of similarities. Singling out groups by celebrating differences draws attention to the very differences for which they are bullied. We all equally deserve to be treated with dignity. The time and effort spent organizing anti-bullying initiatives and clubs would be more effective if they focused on what unites us rather than how it’s OK to be different. Anti-bullying days and protests do not coax bullies into raising their hands and stating, “Yes, I am a bully. How should I stop?” Most bullies don’t even know they’re bullies. Wearing a sticker, pin or shirt means nothing in the fight against bullying if one does not step up to stop bullying. To end bullying, we must celebrate the dignity that makes us all human rather than the differences that distinguish and separate us.

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Daylight

Tunes euben got injured in a ski accident and he can’t make it today,” Kimberley MacGregor, co-lead singer of Edmonton band The Living Daylights, says nonchalantly when we meet for our interview. A skiing injury would usually be cause for concern but this isn’t the first time Reuben Anderson has injured himself – it’s just a part of life for him. “We have a jam tonight and I would usually say it’s all good as long as his mouth is working but unfortunately his mouth is always working,” Kimberley says jokingly.

And Kimberley wasn’t wrong: Reuben does like to joke and offer up his version of events, so Grip gave him a chance to do so via email a few weeks after the initial interview with Kimberley. Reuben wrote, “I’ve been passionate about action sports all my life and I am an avid mountain biker and freestyle skier. I fell on a pretty big jump, but I have had much bigger falls on much bigger jumps. This one just had me fall the exact right way. I am going to be more cautious in the future, but there is no way I am going to stop.” He’s expected to make a full recovery from a broken back. But back to The Living Daylights as a team … it all started with a Kijiji ad. It’s not the most conventional way to recruit band members, but Reuben needed a female vocalist for a project that “wouldn’t restrict him musically,” the ad stated. It was all it took for the two to unite and they have been making music in the capital city as The Living Daylights ever since. “It took me about six months to decide whether or not I wanted to play music with [Reuben] because he was kind of weird and foreign to me,” Kimberley says with a laugh. “We just come from different worlds. He’s very outdoorsy and he’s always going skiing with his buddies – the frat boy kind of crowd. It’s a totally different crowd than mine; I’m more of the weirdo-artist. But it ended up being one of the best things I ever did.” Reuben and Kimberley’s difference in personality is what enables them to collaborate and make music that doesn’t know

Everything inspires The Living Daylights – from funk and hip hop to folk and country – and the band continues to build cred on the Edmonton music scene By Darcy Ropchan

the limits of genre. The Living Daylights are not afraid to experiment with new and interesting forms of music, considering their influences include punk, rap, soul and heavy metal. Bass player Sean Stephens became a permanent Daylight member roughly a year after the initial duo formed, adding even more eclectic sound to the group. One of their performances can sound completely different to another because various “Honorary Daylights,” as Reuben calls them, perform with the band whenever possible. Brian Gregg may play electric guitar one show and Sam Toms or Ethan Markwart will be on the horns (trombone and saxophone) for another show – it keeps things interesting. “That’s why we are the way we are,” Kimberley says. “We do everything from Tupac to NOFX, System of a Down and even Disney songs. There’s nothing that’s off limits to us. If we feel like playing a song then we’ll do it and make it ours.” That open-mindedness and going with the flow is how The Living Daylights became regular performers in the Edmonton music scene. Kimberley recalls that the band’s first-ever gig was an open-mic night they attended in support of a friend who was MCing the event. The gig was a success and the band has performed on a regular basis ever since. As it turns out, Edmonton is a vibrant and welcoming community when it comes to music. “It’s a really supportive community of people. Even some of the people who are bigger names that I might have been intimidated by before I first started playing music, are really warm, personable and accessible people. You get a lot of support,” Kimberley says. “I find that it’s not very hard to get gigs. I think that anyone who has an interest in playing gigs can get one in this city – it’s really accessible.” Even though Edmonton’s wealth of performance spaces is a great thing for musicians trying to find a stage, Kimberley acknowledges that this can

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Reuben’s Favourite Venues To Perform at The Artery (Edmonton) Churchill Square (when they played for The Works festival in Edmonton) Wunderbar (Edmonton) Around campfires all summer (everywhere possible) also make things harder for bands like hers. “Reuben and I both have day jobs and that’s something that I’ve been trying to back off from because I want to make a go at it as a full-time musician, but it’s next to impossible,” says Kimberley. She adds that it takes a lot of hard work and investment in order to become to a professional musician in this city. Any kind of professional performing gear and decentsounding instruments are a huge monetary investment for any band. Then, if you’re looking to record a top-notch, high-quality album, it costs upwards of $10,000. Nothing comes cheap, she says. It takes a lot to break into the scene and gain respect as a serious musician, but Kimberley notes that it’s important to have standards if you are trying to make it professionally. A city like Edmonton that has so many performers and so many places to perform, includes many people willing to play for free – just for the exposure. Although it’s always good to have your name out there, Kimberley explains that it makes things harder for working musicians who are trying to earn a living. “I try not to book any gigs unless there’s at least $100 offered per musician because I think everyone deserves at least that much for their time,” she says. “To me, that’s part of being respectful of the profession.” All this may make it seem quite intimidating to make it as a performer in Edmonton, but Kimberley says it’s not. She advises that the most important thing to do is put yourself out there. There’s no sense waiting around. “The only way you’re ever going to do it, is if you do it. If you’re waiting until you’re better or if you’re waiting until you take yourself seriously or

are as good as other musicians, you’re never going to do it,” she says. “For me, the breakthrough came when I realized that being a musician is not really about being as good as, or better than, [someone else]. This is just something that I need to do to be happy.” It’s that pursuit of happiness that makes performing music worthwhile. If a person is only getting into music to make it big or make it rich, Kimberley wisely notes that they’re kidding themselves. Happiness is the ultimate goal, but being paid at least something ($100, as she mentioned earlier) for that ultimate goal is important, too. As for future plans for The Living Daylights, Reuben noted in his email, “We were planning to record a live show with pro quality video and audio – up until I broke my back ... but we are definitely going to reschedule.” When that will happen all depends on his recovery because he wants to be in good form to move around the stage a lot like he usually does. He says that, unless more body-breaking accidents happen, he and Kimberley will get started on a second studio album this year (their first was called Collage, released in 2011) and it will include a varied compilation of songs, much like their live shows do. “If I had to paint our sound with one broad stroke, I would say we are a folk band, but we have elements of country, blues, jazz, funk, and even hip hop,” writes Reuben. Like The Living Daylights on Facebook www.facebook.com/ thelivingdaylightssongs to stay current on all upcoming shows and to hear some of their songs.

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This is C

photography by christy dean

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s Ciara

Sabean By Alexandria Eldridge & Kathryn Craig

This teen’s caring attitude brings a breath of fresh air to her school

iara Sabean has a zest for life. That’s what Andrea Olive, her mother and biggest fan, says. But Ciara’s mom isn’t the only one who notices – she makes an impression on everyone she meets. That lasting impression may have something to do with her white-blond hair, which today falls midway down her back over a snazzy turquoise jacket, or her perfectly polished nails, painted pink to match her runners. But it’s more likely that this Grade 10 student makes an impact with her beaming smile and genuine desire to help others. At 15, Ciara likes what most other teenage girls like – texting, singing, shopping, photography. Her set of everyday likes wouldn’t be complete, though, without mentioning her boyfriend Griffin – a grin spreads across her face when she talks about him. She texts him a lot. A natural performer, Ciara participated in the televised opening ceremonies of the Special Olympics Canada Winter Games in St. Albert with her gymnastics troupe last year. She was as comfortable in the spotlight then as she is today at the Grip photo shoot at her school, taking place on the stage during drama class. The photographer takes a break and shows Ciara some of the pictures on the display screen of the camera. “That’s cute!” Ciara says, her delight obvious. Laughter bubbles from the bystanders, including mom Andrea and little brother Caleb who’ve come to watch the shoot. It’s the kind of out-of-the-blue funny thing Ciara says that’s no surprise to those who know her well.

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38 Thisis Ciara Sabean Before the 2012/13 school year started, Andrea spoke to Lisa Richter, the school’s department head of inclusive learning, about enrolling Ciara, who has Down syndrome. “I’m so thankful that Ciara’s mom gave us the chance,” Richter says. “That’s a gift, to work with Ciara. It’s just so huge for parents to say, ‘Look, I’m picking you to work with my son or daughter.’ I can’t thank them enough.” It took Ciara only a couple of weeks to figure out the maze of hallways and to get to classes confidently on her own. “It’s a big school and there are a lot of kids here,” Andrea says. It’s common for parents to be concerned about their child transitioning from junior high to high school. It’s a big step for any teen. But Ciara always manages. In fact, she is doing more than managing – she’s thriving. She has been able to fit right in since the beginning of the school year. Since Ciara was in kindergarten, Andrea has made sure that her determined, enthusiastic daughter remains in the regular school system. That is why Andrea spoke to Richter months before Ciara stepped into the school to take drama, leadership, dance and – her favourite – cosmetology. Richter’s role in the school is to liaise between parents, teachers, educational assistants (EAs) and students to find the right fit under the Edmonton Public School Board’s Inclusive Learning umbrella. Students in need get assistance with modified school programming. Richter’s job is to figure out the best way to give assistance, student by student. When Ciara’s mom contacted Richter to get the ball rolling, Ciara was still in junior high. Ciara’s junior high shared information about her school challenges and successes so that Richter’s team could adopt strategies that were working well. But Richter is always ready to get creative when adjustments to the original plan are necessary. “The students know what works

Changing people’s perceptions isn’t a goal Ciara sets when she goes to school, but she does it anyway.

for them,” Richter says. “They’ve been in school already for nine or 10 years, they can tell me what works and what doesn’t. And if they can’t tell me, they’ll show me.” Ciara has two EAs who rotate their time with her throughout her full-time school schedule. Leigh Purpur is one and she sees Ciara the most often. Students change up their inclusive-learning EAs so they don’t become overly dependent on any one person’s way of doing things. By having more than one aide, Ciara can stay flexible. While in class, Ciara doesn’t need a lot of help from her EAs, but they are there for encouragement and support when it is needed,

explains Purpur. Ciara’s way of interacting with classmates demonstrates a definite caring side, with a little bit of “mother hen” to her. “It’s part of her personality,” says Purpur. Her classmate Amal agrees. “She takes care of others in her own way,” says Amal, a Grade 10 student in Ciara’s drama and leadership classes at their Edmonton high school that has about 1,900 other students. Ciara likes to make sure her friends find their way to their classes and she reminds students to write their names down for attendance at the beginning of leadership class. Ciara’s caring and positive attitude has made an impact on Amal. Before Drama 10, Amal never

Proud Family: Ciara’s mother Andrea and brother Caleb are always there for Ciara.

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had any direct contact with someone who has Down syndrome before, but now she has a better understanding of the depth of character someone like Ciara can have. “She’s very strong and knows what’s going on around her,” Amal says of her classmate. Having Ciara included in the regular school system educates students from both sides of the equation. Andrea describes her daughter as a drop on the water that creates a ripple effect. “I have learned more from Ciara than anything – any course, any degree, any book – and just watching the way she moves with such love and grace in her life, I want to be like her,” Andrea says.

“Being her mom has really made me aware that there are still some barriers out there,” Andrea says. “But at the same time, it’s been a wonderful journey seeing people shift around her, just by her being there.” She knows that when Ciara is an adult, out in the world and looking for a job, her peers will be her coworkers and bosses. This is why Andrea is such an advocate for inclusive learning. The effects, she says, will be felt by students long after graduation. Ciara has plenty of plans for the future. She likes to travel, especially to the mountains. She also talks about having a job one day, possibly as a teacher’s aide for kindergarten. For now,

though, she’s content taking care of those around her: fellow students within and outside the inclusive learning program; her 11-year-old brother (who is very protective of Ciara), her dog Miffy and pet lizard Asteroid. Changing people’s perceptions is not a goal Ciara sets for herself each day when she goes to school, but she does it anyway with her caring personality and acceptance of others. This attribute is an extraordinary and impactful addition to her high school, touching the nearly 2,000 students she is surrounded by week after week. Andrea says, “She shows us that we all want to be loved and to be accepted.”

Keeping in Character: Ciara and drama classmate Amal share many laughs, and hats, in class.

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A Long, Long T Great stories have to start somewhere, and knowing who you are starts with where you came from

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By Jena Tang

g Time Ago... E

very day is a discovery. Sometimes it’s a breakthrough and sometimes it’s merely seeing something old as something different or something new. I think as a teenager, or at any age really, learning who you are can be the most overwhelming, yet gratifying, discovery of all. Some days, the answer to “Who am I?” completely evades me, and on other days it’s a wonderful journey I gladly partake in. Maybe the initial step for anyone to answer the question means figuring out who or what makes us, us. Part of what makes me who I am comes from who my family members are. I will admit that my mom still embarrasses me in grocery stores and that my dad still shares his weird humour with strangers. But I’ll also confidently credit my family for defining me – albeit in their sometimes odd ways. Born in Vietnam, my parents are a mix of Vietnamese and Chinese heritage. For a long time, most of what they knew was made up of where they came from: their values and experiences held up resiliently against Canadian culture. In turn, they raised me and my siblings with their traditions and Vietnamese was the primary language spoken at home. Vietnamese culture is inherent to who I am, simply because I was taught and moulded by my parents’ traditional standards from an early age. But as my siblings and I got older, we became increasingly perceptive of the society and diversity around us. We learned English from TV sitcoms and were taught social norms on the playground and in our school classrooms. Soon, there was a fine line between the Vietnamese traditions we were taught and the Canadian standards we picked up on our own. As my brother, sister and I started to adopt new cultural values and blend them with our existing ones, our parents seemed to grow more defined by tradition and less like us. After some time and acceptance of the differences, however, their Canadian knowledge expanded, by extension, through our experiences. They gradually learned English and developed an interest in pop culture, social media and Canadian traditions. As distinct as my two cultures are, I never saw them as being separate parts of who I was; rather they came together to define me. It wasn’t until I changed schools that I saw the disparity between the two. I vividly recall the girls who laughed at lunches my mom packed for me. “What is that?” they’d ask with a look of disgust. Then there were the whispers in the coatroom

when I came to school sick, the smell of an Asian medicinal oil lingering on my sweater. I was embarrassed and bullied for being different. For a long time, all I wanted was to be like all those other girls. I’d hide my lunches and pretend that my family was completely modernized and I knew nothing about Vietnamese traditions. The more I denied my Asian heritage, the more I accepted Canadian standards as all I had ever known. It felt like the only way to fit in. Over time, my father became aware I was swaying away from my Asian roots and pushed us all to speak only Vietnamese at home. He’d also retell stories and teach us proverbs. It took me a while before I accepted where I came from as a part of who I was, because I knew it would set me apart from my peers and I wasn’t sure that was a good thing. Today, I’d say my family is bicultural. We continue to speak mostly Vietnamese at home and my parents reinforce their values in us, but we also celebrate Canadian holidays and follow trends and social norms. My grandparents are the most conservative when trying to uphold traditions, often rejecting Canadian standards, but they aren’t completely against accepting change. They continue to tell stories and teach us their values, but what grandparents don’t? I try to keep an open mind and respect Vietnamese customs because I understand the significance of maintaining our heritage for my family. Understanding where my parents come from as well as the society that we live in allows me to arm myself with knowledge and decide who I want to be and what that entails. Part of the discovery involves learning. Every day we learn something new – maybe we figure out a part of who we are or realize who we don’t want to be. Learning where our parents come from is learning where we come from and is another step in understanding and accepting who we are. I think everyone who is on the same course of unearthing the eternal question “Who am I?” should be open to learning about their heritage and sharing the diversity with their friends. Maybe a part of your heritage will resonate with you or you will uncover something you disagree with or would like to modify. Confidence comes when you know, with conviction, who you are. Being able to recognize, understand and accept the two main aspects of who I am is liberating. I taught myself how to read Vietnamese and I find satisfaction when I manage to write something correctly. Today, my friends love eating my mom’s food and I gladly don’t have to suppress that part of myself anymore. I know who I am now, but every day I discover something new – like how there are few things I love more than Vietnamese dessert.

As distinct as my two cultures are, I never saw them as being separate parts of who I was; rather they came together to define me.

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Suicide

Prevention Involves Everyone

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wo Grip contributors attended a conference in Calgary about suicide prevention and awareness in September 2012. Alberta Health Services organized the two-day conference called “Moving Forward with Suicide Prevention in Alberta: Strengthening Protective Factors and Instilling Hope” with the purpose of bringing Aboriginal and non-Aboriginal

communities together to address issues of suicide prevention in Alberta. Sessions included a panel on supports for men; Aboriginal community perspectives; LGBTQ/Sexual and Gender Minority youth presentation; and a hope and healing focus. Grip’s Vanessa Stewart and Luna Yang describe their firsthand conference experiences below.

By Vanessa Stewart People of all different ages, shapes and sizes gathered inside the Coast Plaza’s conference room. The night started out with dinner, but before we ate, Aboriginal Elders were served first by adolescents as a sign of respect. Autumn Eaglespeaker then sang a traditional honour song, followed by Casey Eaglespeaker who recited an Aboriginal prayer. Patti Stark and Mara Grunau from the Centre for Suicide Prevention (CSP) then spoke and pointed out that suicide is a chain reaction that affects everyone in the community. The key to the conference. Two amazing presentations followed by Kris Demeanor and Zaccheus Nyce followed. Kris is an acclaimed Canadian writer, musician and spoken word artist and was first up. He performed a fast-spoken short story, using a five-level video game as a metaphor for overcoming suicide. He passionately delivered the stages that can lead to suicide attempts: rock bottom, recovery, fighting, keeping hope and happiness. Slam poet Zaccheus Nyce delivered his poem from the heart of youth advocacy and Aboriginal empowerment, with a hip-hop storytelling style. He spoke so powerfully on social issues regarding his Blackfoot identity and drew from past experiences of living on the streets of Western Canada. Smokey Hontus was a total change of pace. Kathleen McGuire doubled as a comedic performer and 75-year-old Elder Smokey Hontus who possessed an unstrained attitude and heartfelt laughter. When not on stage playing her guitar or ordering the crowd to dance to “Sexy and I Know it,” McGuire works as a human services professional and counsellor in southern British Columbia. On day two, we had breakfast and then Dr. Darien Thira took the floor. Thira is a community developer and mental health consultant for Aboriginal communities across Canada. His youth suicide awareness video and seminar Choices has been used by 250 prevention programs across the world. Thira said, in order to empower youth, there’s an importance in noticing and appreciating whenever someone takes on the role of a provider, protector or teacher. Another key in suicide prevention is practising traditional values or eternal laws, such as valuing your Elders and honouring your culture. Aboriginal Elders have the lowest suicide rate in the country, while non-Aboriginal seniors have the highest. Thira related this statistic to Aboriginal communities, which have the life goal of growing into an Elder. Elders are also given a lot of respect because they’re teachers. If the elderly in non-Aboriginal societies were appreciated this well – simply for being alive for so long – their suicide rate would likely decrease, and the

rest of society could benefit by learning from them. I was part of a handful of young adults chosen to participate in an interactive writing assignment. We were given 15 minutes to describe thriving with our five senses. Everyone’s was different and bursting with creativity and individuality. We each read our sense descriptions for everyone in the conference room to hear. It was scary but awesome to speak my mind imaginatively. A panel discussion about suicidal support from a male perspective was hosted by experts who have created programs in their communities for domestic violence prevention projects and support groups that cater specifically to the emotional and social needs of men. The panel discussed the taboo of men expressing their feelings and how it’s socially unacceptable for men to talk about feelings. Many times, this causes anger and sadness to build up inside. It made me reflect on the importance of putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and being aware of their struggles. Dr. Andre Grace talked about what sexual and gender minorities face. Grace is an advisor on Sexual/Gender Minority (SGM) issues for the Canadian Teachers Federation and he reviewed the 2011/12 Chief Public Health Officers Reports on the State of Public Health in Canada. The statistics show that youth who are SGM are 13 times more likely to die by suicide in Alberta. He said suicide is like a chain effect, therefore we should feel collectively responsible to make things better in society. We all have a duty as part of the human race. Lee Horbachewski, a strong woman and mother who struggled with the fear and isolation connected with suicidal feelings, was the next speaker who shook the whole room with her powerful personal story. She courageously shared her attempts at suicide. She’s now dedicated to making mental illness talked about more openly and uses her story to inspire others to open up. The final presentation was from Wendy Edey, a counselling psychologist whose main objective is to help people connect suicide with hope; this connection could save someone’s life. Edey said that to enjoy living, we have to open our eyes to notice the everyday miracles. My favourite part about the conference was visiting the Elder’s lounge. Two Elders offered me an incredible amount of insight about my own unresolved issues. In just one conversation I received a whole new perspective on dealing with struggles and using safe expression. It was such an amazing experience to be one of so many people coming together to keep people alive and hopeful.

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44 By Luna Yang Normal, just what exactly is normal? That was the question I had in my mind as I walked away from the conference in Calgary for suicide prevention. As someone who has grappled with suicidal thoughts and is still struggling with depression myself, I had a hard time imagining that a two-day conference would answer the seemingly hopeless questions that plague me and others in this country. The conference setting in itself was quite nice. The Coast Plaza Hotel, the soulful, melodious, and haunting prayer songs, as well as the creamfilled desserts were outstanding. More important than the food, however, were the speakers. Each sporting multiple titles, awards and PhDs, the guest speakers made me reflect on just about everything. I will forever remember sitting in that burgundy chair, tired from lack of sleep, but still feeling … wowed. Normal is a term that we use to describe things like carrying a briefcase, wearing a brown suit, having a nose two sizes too large – I sympathize – and going to work each and every single day, 7 a.m. to 5 p.m. Normal is not a word that we, as a society, use to describe people suffering from mental disorders or suicidal thoughts. Normal is the sacred ground; normal is where everybody should be. But normal is not where everybody is. Alberta has more than 400 suicide-related deaths per year, topping all the other provinces in Canada. Sixteen per cent of Albertans suffer from mental illness and have contacted their doctors about it. Yet despite all that, stigma is still a huge problem in our society today, and I know because I’ve had people stare at me strangely and, in some cases, outright balk when I shared my illness with them. Trauma, as Dr. Darien Thira brilliantly dissected, is where most addictions, rage and depression come from. For someone who has experienced trauma, one of three Fs can come from it: freeze, fight or flight. Freezing leads to depression, fighting leads to rage, and fleeing leads to anxiety. Depression can lead to suicide, rage can lead to violence, and anxiety can lead to addiction. And all can lead to death. The next speaker who made the biggest impact on me was Lee Horbachewski. She shared her own story about surviving through her three suicide attempts, turning back to her life in the end, and braving through. As someone who’s had my own dance with the devil, I applaud her courage.

Depression: one of the main causes of suicide – and what Horbachewski suffers from – is a deep, dark hole with nothing but echoes. However, she didn’t beat her challenges alone. Horbachewski’s family and willingness to communicate was huge for her survival. The main thing that I took away from the conference was the sense of community. Suicidal thoughts or depression are not things that you just work through alone. Take it from someone who’s tried. Call someone, talk to somebody or join a support group. We live in the real world, and I’ll admit that while talking might not solve all of your problems, it could, and you won’t know until you try. Overall, I loved the conference, and I encourage you personally to also attend similar events. Our society has evolved in many ways, yet it still has been held back by the ever-present stigma, presumptions and ugly stereotypes that people have about mental health. Therefore, I encourage you to try and do as much as you can to help, and learn as much as you can. As much as I hate to close off a piece with a dead guy’s quote, I can’t resist it this time. As Marcus Garvey, Jamaican political leader, publisher, journalist, entrepreneur and orator, said, “A people without the knowledge of their past history, origin and culture is like a tree without roots.”

Suicidal thoughts or depression are not things that you just work through alone.

Talk and Get Connected • Fyrefly is one example of a retreat in Alberta that Dr. Grace is a part of. Catering to the individual needs of Sexual/Gender Minority youth, these retreats are youth-based camps that focus on socialization, reflecting and wellness. Learn more at fyrefly.ualberta.ca • Lee Horbachewski documented her empowering journey in her book called A Strong Quiet Voice.

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How to

Change

By Evan Tran

Habits form for a reason, but the bad ones can be changed to good. Find out how

t’s common to spend more time than usual on Facebook just to procrastinate a bit before tackling a gruelling homework assignment. If you’re like me, you probably have a few bad habits, like procrastination, that you want to break or change. But it’s probably harder to do than you thought and you’re wondering: Can I do anything to change my ways? Well, let’s define what a habit is first. Lindsay Hope-Ross, a clinical psychologist, clinical lead of Healthy Minds/Healthy Children Outreach Service and supervisor of community education service, helps provide a definition. “A habit is an automatic response to a specific situation or set of circumstances that has been learned or acquired through repetition,” she says. “Using this definition, there are cues within the environment – external, internal or both – that trigger the habituated response.” She also says there can be more than one cue to any habit, both good and bad, that an individual may not even be aware of. Most habits form because they (responses) result in some sort of a positive outcome for the individual, be it a reward or being able to avoid something unpleasant. For example, I had a friend who used to have the really bad habit of biting her nails. I asked her about it one time and she told me that, although she didn’t really like it, she just started doing it one day and kept at it ever since. After discussing it, we found that biting nails was something she did only during class whenever she got bored and needed something to do. In this case, her cue was the boredom, her response was

the need to distract herself from the boredom, and biting her nails led to the reward of fending off boredom. We decided that she keep a little journal whenever she got bored in class, write the time she wanted to start biting her nails, and then start drawing instead. A little while later, her nails looked much better. It seems like a simple example, but surprisingly that’s how habits can be changed. According to Hope-Ross, “Teens who want to stop or change a habit need to have a look at what the positive reinforcer is for the behaviour. He or she also needs to know what the triggers for the habit are.” One tip that Hope-Ross recommends for any habit, is to make a small list of the things around you that trigger habitual behaviour, such as the time, place, other people involved or your own emotional state. “If you know the triggers and the positive outcome from the behaviour,

brainstorm other ways to get that positive result that are not habitual,” she suggests. In another scenario, a bad habit might be overeating junk food because you’re stressing about an upcoming exam. By eating, I personally feel rewarded with a feeling of calmness. So what else can I could do, knowing that my cue is exam stress, to get a feeling of calm? Some possibilities could include changing my routine into meditation or exercise to feel calmer by releasing my stress physically; petting my dog to share his lack of stress; or asking for a hug from a friend to feel nurtured. On a final note, Hope-Ross reminds me that “self-knowledge is power, and is also the key to stopping unwanted behaviour or changing it to healthier actions.” So get to know yourself – your cues and triggers – and break a bad habit today.

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REGRETS

Competitive swimming requires a commitment that can take its toll on a teen, but this Grip writer wouldn’t want her life any other way By Elaina Smith

piercing sound pushes insistently through my dreams. I wake up, groaning and blurryeyed, rolling over to look at the clock beside my bed. It reads 4:30 a.m. Time to get up. I stumble out of my warm, cozy bed and throw on an oversized pair of sweats and a tank top before running to the bathroom to grab my swimsuit and a towel. Slowly, I make my way downstairs and sit heavily on the steps until my dad emerges from his room, ready to climb into the car for the early morning drive to the pool. It’s half an hour away and I lay back, semi-conscious, steeling myself for the 5:30 a.m. plunge into the pool. It’s my third and final early-morning workout, and the last of seven training sessions. It’s a good thing too, because I am exhausted. Being a dedicated athlete can sometimes be overwhelming. I know there are days when my body almost refuses to roll out of my bed when my dad comes to wake me up. And there are afternoons when it requires a Herculean effort not to fake an illness so my coach won’t make me get in the pool. Despite the tiredness and hard, endless amount of work that comes with being a competitive swimmer, I would not change my lifestyle for anything.

When I’m not required to do an early workout, a typical day in my life consists of getting up around 7 a.m., spending an hour getting ready for school and heading out to the catch the bus to a high school in Airdre, where I am currently enrolled in Grade 10. Around 3:20 p.m. – about 20 minutes before the bell rings to signal the end of the day – I trudge out to the school parking lot where I climb into my swim coach’s car for the daily trip to the pool. Once there, we train in and out of the water for about two hours. My coach drops me off at home, where I generally get started on my homework, eat a hurried dinner and then go to bed around 9:30 p.m. Usually, one weekend per month is spent competing. Swim meets happen all across Western Canada, and I spend a good deal of time en route. The busy competition schedule ultimately means

I miss out on some school, and it requires me to have good time management and dedication to maintain my grades. Being this busy is not new to me. I joined Nose Creek Swim Association six years ago, and at the time I was also a dedicated pianist. It was only two years ago that I had to stop taking piano because I no longer had enough time or energy to practise. Even though I had to give up a lot for my sport, I never regretted joining. It was my parents’ idea to put me in swimming, because I was a “water baby.” I always loved being in the water and was really good at it too, seeming to pick up swimming skills easily during lessons. But most of all, I delighted in learning those new skills and had a blast whenever I was in the water. Thankfully, I still do.

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My ultimate goal is to swim at an Olympic level, which means maintaining this schedule – and likely even increasing the time I spend in the gym and pool – through university. I hope to receive a scholarship for my swimming to help me along the way. I know I will miss out on a lot of experiences that most teens get to have, like going to parties and school trips, or just hanging out with friends, but I also know that it’s worth it to keep doing what I love. Just being a teen is really hard because of the amount of school work and the general drama that comes with being in high school. Obviously people who are involved in extracurricular activities are busier than those who aren’t but personally, I love my busy life because it keeps me on my toes, makes me manage my time well, keeps me out of

trouble and it never leaves me bored. Even though I think that there are more pros to my life, being so busy can be really stressful and leaves me so exhausted that sometimes I feel close to having a meltdown. A busy life definitely isn’t for everyone. Dr. Jonathan Eustace, a registered psychologist and clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Alberta, agrees. He says there needs to be a balance between stressful activities and free time. “Relaxing activities don’t need to be slow,” Eustace says. “Exercise can be very relaxing for some people.” He adds that it’s important to have a bit of downtime. For most teens, having at least one day off is vital to maintaining balance. He finds that busy teens often become busy adults who are also successful. Eustace says people experience less stress if they feel like they have control over their

schedules, but it’s important to for them seek feedback from those who care about them, too. “It’s important to consider what your parents are saying,” he says, adding that teens who feel pushed should try to have an open and honest conversation with their parents about how they are feeling. I agree and I know that my family supports me. I also find it is extremely important to have understanding friends. Most of my friends know I can’t spend a lot of time with them, which I think is harder on me than it is on them. Not having time outside of my schedule is definitely a huge downfall to my lifestyle. Thankfully, a lot of my friends are a part of my swim club as well, so I don’t completely miss out on socializing. Despite the sacrifices, I wouldn’t give up my busy schedule. I love it.

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Portfolio In each issue of Grip, we feature creative works from our readers – poetry, personal essays, short stories, illustrations, comic strips and photography.

The Role They Play By Christine Green

They looked away They didn’t bother to have a kind thing to say They laughed when she dropped her lunch tray They simply watched by They heard her laboured cry They cruelly fabricated each lie They did not know the breaking point she was at They told her she was fat They called her ugly, to add sting to that They are blind to the amount of pain she’s in no one would believe They watch as she pulls down each long sleeve They don’t feel remorse, they don’t grieve They look past the pain in her eyes They ignore that inside she dies They cut all of the ties They made her suffering rife They shaped her life to be saturated in pain and strife They made this world a place she believes is not worthy of life

Cyberpunk BY IRTIZA OYON

Insomnia By STEPHEN GUST

The smallest hours of the darkest morning greet me with bloodshot, streaming eyes and a dry mouth and a non-verbal “hello” floating submerged in dusty air it does not leave for it is too late for goodbye and too early for a change of mind the world opens rusty eyes and cannot return to bed. It has just begun, and who has the heart to stop it?

Green Thumb BY IRTIZA OYON GRIPMagazine

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Winning submissions are awarded $50. They are also featured in the magazine and on the website at www.griponlife.ca. Send in your submissions to creative@griponlife.ca

Untitled By Luna Yang

It felt like the strings of my existence were being cut apart; snipped by a cruel child, and I needed someone, anyone, to come along and tie a secure knot around the falling, fractured, fragile threads, to make them whole again, as they once were. But no such person came. And the threads continue to fall, one by one, onto the ground. Like autumn leaves, they grew dry and brittle, the life drained out of them, evaporated by the heartless winter sun. Then they flew into the wind and were never seen again.

No Parking By Robert propp

And nothing was left but the cold, empty void of space; space that can never be refilled; one doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t gain existence; one can only lose it. The threads continue to fall.

Origami By RESHMA SIRAJEE

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Portfolio

Untitled By Joshua Lo

The Surf by STEPHEN GUST

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You Win By Christine Green

I can feel all of the melancholy descending on me My limited optimism Is rapidly vanishing It is too arduous to fight The infernal battle roaring within my twisted mind I wish I could hope But I find myself here retreating into the pit with no ladder to climb out no rope to cast down to me no knight in gleaming armour to rescue me from this miserable place

Each second drags its bloodied claws into my torn flesh Is everyone around me blind? I have no umbrella I stand here in the vicious hurricane My joy is evaporating I am a foolish child chasing a helium balloon I am a treadmill sprinting but getting nowhere Just take me now You have already stolen everything else. I lose.

FlowerFly By EVAN TRAN

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Portfolio

Heart Branch By SARAH RICHARDS

Under Streetlight By Joshua Lo

Untitled By Amal Farha

They say tonight’s no different than any other night. People dying people reviving. … But there’s one thing they do not realize that differs this night from any other. I’ve got my friends, my father, my mother, this guy I’ve been calling my lover. The nights starting to seem like daylight, everything seems to be so right. But there’s one thing that isn’t so bright… why oh why can’t the world be connected on this beautiful night? I’ll tell you why, regions of land, bodies of water separate us from our beloved. But one thing I’ve learnt was not to hurt like I’ve been burnt. To live life to the fullest,

even though sometimes I want to bolt though the mist to not see anything, isn’t that like a dream? To only feel, to only hear, to only accept the sounds of nature revealing its true need, the need to breath a single breath at last. I’m thankful I have not yet passed the world beyond this one. Will all my loved peers gather as one? My only wish to live, connect, breathe and forget. One day, maybe not today I’ll see you again … For I know, be still, someday, surely we’ll all end up in the same place.

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Last Word Humour

Pros and Cons of a

Zombie Apocalypse

It’s inevitable. Zombies are coming to take over the world so we might as well make a list of the reasons why we should welcome them ... or not. PRO: Homework, gone with the living ... See ya!

CON: Probably will have to eat SPAM for at least one meal a day.

PRO: If you become a zombie or fight them, maybe you’ll be on TV. There’s got to be someone else in the world who isn’t infected and wants to be entertained. You could be famous!

CON: If you just got your driver’s licence before the apocalypse, chances are there won’t be many uncrashed cars or much gas available for you to drive around. Bummer.

PRO: If you like gardening, there will be a lot of grass to cut in the open fields, towns and prison yards you’ll be trying to stay safe in.

CON: If you don’t like gardening, uh oh. The grass in the open fields, towns and prison yards you’re hiding in will need cutting so zombies can’t sneak up on you.

PRO: Your head cold, argument with your best friend or favourite earring you lost before zombies took over doesn’t look so bad now, does it?

CON: The money saved up from your after-school job that you just spent on a new haircut and wardrobe ... well, you might have a hard time finding the right occasion to sport the new do and gear. Sigh. Zombies, they just don’t appreciate anything!

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Public Service Announcement From

1 in 5 teenagers will experiment with art You may know someone who is either already addicted or who is slowly becoming addicted to art. Know the warning signs and be prepared to make appropriate intervention if necessary. Remember, art can be dangerous! Art can lead to self-expression, creativity, spatial awareness, greater social engagement and even a sense of joy and fun. Be art-aware.

Know the warning signs of art: Doodling is a gateway to illustration Hidden art supplies Sudden attacks of inspiration Late nights spent Photoshopping Paint under fingernails

Illustration

Photography

Poetry

Send your expressions of art addiction to creative@griponlife Winning submissions are awarded $50 and featured in Grip magazine!

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PM #40020055

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