Venue 975

FREE TAKE ONE!

// CORAM BOY // corruption, courage and Christmas at the Colston Hall // NYE CLUBBING // Dance your cares away

Plus: BRISTOL & bATH'S MAGAZINE

www.venue.co.uk nO.975 // december 2011 // FREE

// PUZZLE GUZZLE // Boredom-beating picture quizzes, crosswords and more // HOLY HOE DOWN! // Brain-fizzing festive fun that won’t cost the earth

We dis h th year’s b e Venue aw ard est plays, p gigs, clubs, f s for the il eople & mor ms, e

Relive the riotous last 12 months with our 10-page review

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Contents

Contact

editor@venue.co.uk @venueeditor

Going out this month? see venue.co.uk - the new home of Venue’s what’s on listings

p.20 See ya, 2011 Woah. Now THAT was a year. Aside from the national headline-spawning murders and riots, the last 12 months, as is usual round here, burst their banks as a cultural flood washed through town: the M Shed finally opened, See No Evil lured the eyes of the world to Bristol’s monstrous outdoor art galleries and everyone swung by from Damien Hirst to Beyoncé, Ian McKellen to Jamie Oliver, Tracey Emin to Bon Jovi, and even the founder of Wikipedia...

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We take a look at Bristol Old Vic’s standard-setting Christmassy parable of poverty, love, loss and reunion, flushed with a full chorus, live orchestra and an army of locals.

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Bored of gawping at ‘Downton Abbey’ boxsets? Sick of small talk with Auntie Agnes? Hunker down in your shed with our four-page puzzle special and get away from it all…

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Features

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p.10 Melissa Blease eats Christmas. And spits it back out. Bleurgh! p.15 He’s Welsh and he’s funny. REAL funny. Meet Edinburgh smash-hit Mr Elis James. p.37 Get outta here!

Seriously, go away. Some place nice. Like one of our rather wondrous wintry escapes, f’rinstance...

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// inbox // p.4 Letters, opinion, oddness…

// i saw you // p.6 But did you see me?

// bristol & bath in pictures // p.9 Local life through a lens

// Film //

// Comedy //

p.38 Puss in Boots… The Thing… Another Earth…

The Deep Blue Sea

p.72 The pick of 2011’s funniest funny folk

// Music // p.50 2011: what we were listening to…

p.74 A year in pictures (and sculpture, ceramics, projection, installation etc)

// Clubs //

// BOOKS //

p.64 On an’ on ’til the break o’ dawn: your guide to New Year’s Eve clubbing

p.79 Festive books for all the family

// Performance // p.66 Stage right: we recall theatreland’s highlights of the year

Get every issue of venue delivered early

to your door for just £2.99/month direct debit or £37.50/year Phone 0117 934 3741 or email s.butler@bepp.co.uk to set it up. venuemagazine

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// ART //

// Days Out // p.81 TV go home: get out and about this Christmas

// skills // p.86 Venue has a crack at circle rules football

// gay // p.89 Local LGBT events & news december 2011 // 3

11/22/2011 6:56:51 PM

Inbox

Letter of the month

Positive intentions // Why is it that everyone keeps calling members of the Occupy Movement “anti-capitalist protesters”? I consider myself part of that movement – but like a significant number of others like me, I am not against capitalism per se, I’d just like to see it radically changed: restructured so that people and planet are central to the way markets operate.

The press’s labelling of protesters as simply “anti” brings with it negative associations, suggesting at best obstructive and at worst destructive troublemakers hell bent on enacting such meaningless clichés as “smash the system”. This is not what we’re about. ‘The system’ (whatever that means) is made up of people like you and me.

The Occupy Movement draws in people from all walks of

Easton promise // Re: Eugene Byrne’s piece on housing (Gimme Shelter, issue 974). He says you’ll “have a hard time finding a half-decent basic place in Bristol for much less than £150k”. Come to Easton!

There are loads of nice Victorian

Issue 975 2011: review of the year

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life who are interested in new ways to improve the economy, environment, healthcare, education and democracy for all of us (including those not fortunate enough to live in the developed world), unlike the true trouble-making heads of the corporations, banks and governments who are doing the opposite and who are directly and provably responsible for millions of unnecessary deaths every year, as well as the wholesale and irreversible destruction of the planet upon which we all depend for survival.

The UK’s media, much though we like to ridicule it, is among the most freespeaking and balanced in the world. So it’s disappointing that in their simple choice of words, journalists are (perhaps unwittingly) besmirching those

terraces round here going for the £140k mark. Many with original period features, a small square of garden, plenty of onstreet parking etc. And no, I’m not an estate agent. How very dare you!

Dave, Greenbank

Venue Magazine Bristol Office Bristol News & Media, Temple Way, Bristol, BS99 7HE Tel 0117 942 8491 (12 lines) Fax 0117 934 3566 Bath Office Bath News & Media, Floor 2, Westpoint, James West St, Bath, BA1 1UN Tel 01225 429801

Fax 01225 447602 Email (Editorial): editor@ venue.co.uk / (Advertising): ads@venue.co.uk / (Classified ads): classified@venue.co.uk Website www.venue.co.uk Twitter @venueeditor Group Editor Dave Higgitt Editor-at-large Joe Spurgeon

brave souls who are trying to make a stand for a better future for all of us.

To those shivering in their tents on College Green, outside St Paul’s Cathedral and in cities across the world as I write this, I offer my deepest respect. Let’s hope the world listens.

Jim Foster, by email Gawd bless ’em all, Jim. Optimism is a wonderful thing. What good will come of it remains to be seen, but at least they’re doing something.

Here’s an unbesmirched £10 Waterstone’s voucher for your troubles.

French connection

prawn toasts, satay chicken, king prawns, scallops, green vegetables, ginger, spring onions and all kinds of spices.

Mouth-watering.

On the third night we ate a great dinner in The River Grille at the Bristol Hotel, where we were staying. The night carried on into the early hours; I was thankful only to have to step into the lift and whizz up to a luxury room.

Sunday. With heads still buzzing, we headed to the Firehouse. I’d tried to get a table there the night before but it was fully booked, and now I knew why. Enormous pizzas, roast pork with crackling, rotisserie chicken, rib-eye beef; the choice is sensational. We ran into a French rugby team, full of praise for the place.

Because we live in the MidiPyrenees where oriental food

// I live in southern France, but on a recent weekend in Bristol I was so blown away by the enormous choice of food and the friendliness of everyone – that I felt compelled to write in! For our first lunch, we tried the splendid Loch Fyne restaurant. The staff are welcoming; the food is exquisite.

I had the perfect light lunch; seafood on couscous salad; bursting with flavours. The evening before, our first in the city, we had eaten in the Chinese Cathay Rendezvous. We loved it so much that we went there again the second night.

The man in charge remarked, “Ah, you are not ordering the same as you did last night.”

The joint was jumping; how could he remember what I had ordered the evening before?

Over two nights I wolfed down Associate Editor Mike White Studio Manager Cath Evans Design Team Sarah Clark, Sarah Malone Production Charis Munday Sub-Editors Tom Phillips, Jo Renshaw Advertising Manager Becky Davis Bristol Advertising Adam Burrows, Ben Wright, Bex

Baddiley Bath Advertising Nejla Unal Distribution and Subscriptions Simon Butler Publication Co-ordinators Emma Gorton, Ruth Wood Art Steve Wright Books Joe Spurgeon Classical Paul Riley Clubs Adam Burrows Comedy Steve Wright

Days Out Anna Britten Dance Steve Wright Events Mike White Film Robin Askew Jazz Tony Benjamin Lesbian & Gay Darryl Bullock News Eugene Byrne Rock Leah Pritchard Roots Leah Pritchard Skills Anna Britten Sport Simon Fry Theatre Steve Wright

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editor@venue.co.uk Each Letter of the Month receives a £10 voucher to spend in any Waterstone’s store nationwide.

is not the norm, we opted for Asian flavours again for our last Bristol meal and went to the elegant Thai Edge.

The menu was so extensive that I ordered a Bellini to drink while reading; it came adorned with a delicate orchid. Everything we ate was stunning. I had never heard of gaeng pa gai (jungle curry) before; chicken in chilli paste with green peppercorns, aubergines, bamboo shoots, snake beans and holy basil. It was a perfect last meal.

Back in France, withdrawal symptoms set in, so we headed up to Toulouse to a great shop where I even found the holy basil. My efforts to re-create some of the dishes were fine, but I know I will never capture those special tastes from my four days in Bristol. There’s got to be a next time?

Jane Shortall, Goue Den Bas, France

Picture hiss

www.joeberger.co.uk

// Your picture quiz last month (Bristol and Bath in Pictures, issue 974). Loved Francis Harvey’s one of the children paddling in Millennium Square – a nostalgic beauty.

The Bridge one was OK, but couldn’t see much of the promised fog. And the bottom one of Freemantle Square? I just don’t get it.

‘Some drainpipes, yesterday’ would’ve worked better as a title. Were those really the best of the bunch?

Frank Widebottom, by email

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// SEVERN BORE // Opinion. If you like that sort of thing...

Office solutions // So there’s a housing crisis, is there? (Gimme Shelter, issue 974). One that means lots of people can’t get homes they need, and thousands of acres of otherwise empty land (much of it supposedly protected ‘greenbelt’) must be bulldozed to make way for ugly, cheaply made starter homes? Well, here’s an idea. Bristol (like most cities across the UK) is full of newly built or newly refurbished office space, lying empty. Most of it’s been empty for months or years. Instead of costly and land-destructive

new-build projects, how about the government steps in, forcibly repossesses this empty stock from the greedy property developers that built it, and converts the lot into affordable housing? It kills several birds with one stone – the property developers get to sell the space they’ve been unable to sell, the so-called housing crisis is greatly assuaged, and lots of people seeking affordable homes can finally buy one and move in – enjoying a slice of stylish citycentre living into the bargain.

Not rocket science, is it?

Gemma Tutton, Bathford

// The most remarkable thing about Occupy Bristol is that it went for so long with overwhelming public support. It was weeks before the web forum snark started, or the spat with the Evening Post, and the attack on a second camp which may or may not have been by the far right.

The default comment of most College Green passers-by was along the lines of “they’re showing how angry all of us are” and “at least someone’s doing something.”

They’re all mad at the way we’re being screwed, but they’re all mad in slightly different ways, offering slightly different solutions. There’s your anarchists, your eco-warriors, your old-skool lefties (Marx is going to be soooo 2012, my dears) and people who are a bit of all. Severn Bore also spent an hour chatting with one Occupier who’s bought into conspiraloon bullshit of the 9/11 “Truth” and the Bilderberg/Zionist bankers variety. That said, another Occupier was regularly visiting the conversation to take the piss out of him.

Occupy Bristol has all sorts of views, but ultimately represents all of us, aside from a minority of free-market lunatics and embittered Nazis. And they beats the hell out of dreary marches in the rain behind union banners ending up on College Green/ Castle Park listening to turgid speeches by union officials stating the bleedin’ obvious.

We’re all still mad as hell, and whether the camp is still there when you read this, there should be no doubt that many or all of these intrepid activists will be back again in the new year.

Best of luck to ’em, from Marxists to greens and all the normal ones as well (apart from the conspiracy nuts). There are many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still.

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11/23/2011 10:45:51 AM

ISawYou

To submit an I Saw You email isawyou@venue.co.uk web www.venue.co.uk/isawyou

// Reach out to someone // I Saw You my beautiful teen.

Nearly grown up, all strong and beautiful. Love your enthusiasm, love your joy, love to be around you so much. Wow, sometimes I catch my breath at you and wonder how someone can be so fantastic Mum x I Saw You working on the bar at the bank. You look familiar but do I even know you blud?!

I Saw You Inspector Fiddlebit, fiddling with my bits! You touched here and you touched them there, and then I arrived… everywhere!

I Saw You S.W. walking funny, squeezed painfully into you daughters pants. You came as a man and left as a beast. We stopped on the way home so your strange northern tormentor could squat in a roundabout and got lost in the worst traffic black spot in the world. FACT. I Saw You in Birmingham, drinking rum, knocking cupboards off the wall, smashing every cup in the house, loosing goodies, getting past the bouncers, dancing to R&B, chatting absolute breeze... all living the dream x I Saw You - I was talking to you outside Motion on Saturday night about 4am ish, I think you said your name was Lucy and u went to UWE or Bristol uni. We chatted for about 10 mins. I was wearing a black flat peak cap, green jacket, and red jumper. you had long brown hair and really pretty eyes.. alas I didn't get your number! djadamwedge@gmail.com I Saw You - I heard you talking about architecture, literature and agriculture, your wisdom has no boundaries xxx

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I Saw You at clifton down station on sat 29th all dressed up wearing a red skirt I was sat opposite on the train be great to hear from you I Saw You at the blue motion trinity mountaaaaiin centre.

Cheer up!

I Saw You ginger bearded boy with the scuffed burgundy trainers at the Watershed watching Life in a Day on your own. You have a nice face I wish my face had said hello to it.

I Saw You….. You crept in with your tiny pants, you tried to give me cheeky spanks!

Wonders never ceased….

BEHOLD…THE BEAST! I Saw You too in Goldbrick that sunny Saturday afternoon!

My date was nice but sadly not sizzling! It was really good to meet you though. Maybe I'll see you there again sometime...

I Saw You I didn’t see you leave J.K. I assumed you had been recycled but even my compost kicked you out, brave little worms.

I saw you

lovely man in cooshti.......... you gave me extra discount, because it was my birthday...I dont know if you know it, but you really made my day...thank you xxx

I saw you

in a library, in a bar , and once in my bed.

Last night I saw you in a dream.

Unfortunately I now live in China....

I Saw You Melissa, Venue's restaurant reviewer: we saw you at The River Canteen in Bath, but only after we'd been mistaken for you by the staff and given a lot of free food and drink. We were very confused but extremely well treated hope you give them a good review!

I Saw You Red Ranger shopping in Iceland, although this time you weren't flykicking off the counters and your teeth were intact.

I Saw You gorgeous girl with knee length socks sat in the back room of the duke of York, quiz nite.

I Saw You Unicorn. Wish that guy would stop chasing you I Saw You crossing Redcliffe Bridge this morning as I do from time to time, and we shared a shy smile as we do when you spot me. You always manage to brighten my morning up when you see me and smile, and it always makes me wish I had the courage to stop you and say 'hi' and introduce myself. Maybe one day, or maybe you'll see this and get in touch.....

I Saw You JLE rocking that weave like nobody... miss you creature x I Saw You Thursday, 27 October 2011...I saw you from across the office...dark hair, tattoos, look amazing in your suit (!) If it is you that I am thinking of, why don't you ask? : ) I Saw You - You were Joy, the beautiful girl in 51 on the Saturday night waiting for someone. I was Robbie, the poet full of gin. You gave me your

number and ten minutes later I dropped my phone in to the club toilet, bye bye phone. Here's hoping kismet brings us back around; you seemed nice xx I Saw You charging ridiculous money for a ham and coleslaw baguette…

I Saw You in the Better Food Company on Whiteladies Road.

We met on a cycling event and got chatting. You came into the shop with a smile on your face which made my morning. Sadly we couldn't chat as you'd lost your voice. When you get it back please come in and we'll have a real converstion. Till then... E I Saw You mincing about with your meatballs like some strange, camp SS officer. Why must you sound so German, or is it Russian?

I Saw You BO SELECTA... well actually I didn't as you left to live by the sea, come back soon and please return my fur waistcoat you thieving beaut x I Saw You BW - but you didn't see me you blind tw*t as you need to wear glasses and I no longer fancy you.

I Saw You with your leftover patties and goat curry. Proper lush scran, even on ‘the morning after’ I Saw You personal chef... what's cookin' good lookin'?!

For more i saw you – plus I’m Sore At You – see: www.venue.co.uk/isawyou venuemagazine

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Bristol & Bath in pictures

Are you a photographer? // Pro, semi-pro, amateur… if you have a Bristol or Bath-related pic and want to show if off, email it to editor@venue.co.uk and the top three will get posted up here.

this mont winner!h's

‘Bedminster Budgie on European Summit’ – Jon Chivers (above)

‘Silly Walk’ – c/o Daniele Cole (top)

‘Hula Barbie’ – Modified Toy Orchestra (right)

Thurnham, a crocheted budgie from the Paper Village shop in North Street, Southville was part of a successful expedition which conquered Mont Blanc, the highest mountain in Europe, in a bid to raise money for various charities including the Children’s Hospice South West.

More at www.facebook.com/ crochetabudgie

Some silly walkers tackle the National Trust’s South West One campaign at Dorset’s Studland Bay. Follow suit at www.ntsouthwest.co.uk/ sillywalks. Image courtesy of www.nationaltrust.org.uk/ walkingfestival

Some typical output from the Modified Toy Orchestra’s half-term bespoke musical instrument workshops at the Colston Hall. Image courtesy of the lovely folk at www.colstonhall.org

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This month’s prize (CDs or downloads up to a value of £50) is kindly provided by AudioGO (formerly BBC Audiobooks) who publish thousands of comedy, drama and factual programmes in both CD and downloadable format. Ffi: www.audiogo.co.uk

december 2011 // 9

11/22/2011 7:12:57 PM

PIC: HANNAH DOMAGALA

And another thing...

Melissa Blease raises a glass of lukewarm chardonnay to the office party.

F

reelancers, teleworkers and remote employees; part-time contracts, multiple employers and, of course, the global financial climate: just some of the long list of factors that have conspired to create a very different image for the World of Work (or lack thereof) in general.

But amidst the flurry of changes, one tradition has endured against all odds: the Christmas office party, it seems, refuses to die a dignified death.

At its worst (or best, depending on your point of view), the COP is an infamous breeding ground for bad behaviour. Got an urge to make a pass at a co-worker, tell your boss what a tosser he/she is or spill the beans on an inappropriate crush/ liaison? After three pints of lukewarm wine-in-a-box glugged in an awkward environment, your moment has arrived. At their best (or worst, ditto previous parenthesis), the COP exists to remind us that the season of goodwill to all men (yup, even those you secretly despise) is upon us once again, in which case you put a bit of glitter in your hair, dump a fiver’s worth of destined-for-the-

“As long as there are inappropriate liaisons to be had, the Christmas office party will live on.”

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charity-shop novelty gift in the Secret Santa sack and leave before the inevitable chaos sets in. Whichever way you look at it, the scene is set for yet another rerun of a farcical sitcom wearied by endless multimedia/gossip mill analysis every December.

But those armchair social commentators should make hay while the winter sun shines: as the 9-to-5, Mon-Fri schedule is fast becoming obsolete, this year’s corporate Christmas shebang might well be the last.

Like most of my immediate contemporaries, I’m a selfemployed freelancer who spends the vast majority of my working hours glued to a keyboard in front of a computer screen in the corner of my living room at home.

As a result, the terms ‘teambuilding exercise’, ‘lunch hour’, ‘contract of employment’, ‘paid annual leave’ and ‘appraisal’ just aren’t in my working life lexicon – and neither are seasonal team-building gettogethers. So for me, any COP I’m invited to is a freelance contract too, either making it a far more enjoyable proposition than it might be for those who are obligated to attend... or making me feel like a complete outsider if I do. But let’s spare a thought for the record-breaking 56% of workers in ‘traditional’ employment that have undertaken countless hours of unpaid overtime this year in an attempt to guarantee job security (source: YouGov), and the millions more who have accepted part-time/job-share agreements in order to avoid total redundancy. Millions more again, meanwhile, have embarked on short-

Office Christmas parties: go on, feel awkward, then call your boss a tosser

term contracts, work three part-time jobs or have no option but to accept ‘total job insecurity’ as an unwritten part of any contract they’re lucky enough to have, while a whole raft of sad souls know already that they’re facing redundancy in 2012. Given such circumstances, is it really possible to party like there’s no appointment at the Job Centre waiting in January’s cruel wings... and should the office really be blowing budgets that could be put to much better use (for example, paying those unpaid overtimers, perhaps?) on flaccid mini-sausages and cheap chardonnay? The ghost of Christmas future predicts

that the office mum might not be visiting Iceland at all next year.

But perhaps Scrooge isn’t ready to gatecrash yet another Great British Tradition just yet. As long as there are inappropriate liaisons to be had, cleavages to be photocopied, grievances to air and bitter sorrows that need to be drowned, the COP will live on. As for me, I’ll be decorating my monitor with tinsel, putting a plate of cold mini-quiches on my desk and raising a plastic beaker of warm wine to myself on the last working day of December.

Here’s hoping I behave myself – after all, I’ve got a great boss.

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CRAIG CAMPBELL Thur 1 December

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ELIS JAMES Fri 2 & Sat 3 Dec

IMRAN YUSUF Fri 9 & Sat 10 Dec

ROB DEERING Fri 16 & Sat 17 Dec

SEAN HUGHES Fri 6 & Sat 7 Jan

DECEMber 2011 // 11

11/22/2011 2:27:51 PM

December // OUR FAVOURITE

Going out this month? see venue.co.uk - the new home of Venue’s what’s on listings

TEN THINGS THIS MONTH...//

Music Little Dragon

1.

// You’ll recognise singing percussionist Yukimi Nagano’s voice from her work with Gorillaz, Big Boi and Sbtrkt. With her band – drummer Erik Bodin, bassist Fredrik Källgren Wallin and keyboard man Håkan Wirenstrand – she makes mysterious, yearning electro-pop with a dark heart and a blissful way with a beat.

LITTLE DRAGON THEKLA, BRISTOL, FRI 2 DEC. SEE WWW.THEKLABRISTOL.CO.UK FFI.

Clubs Beardyman Presents

2.

// Tired of humourless club nights where it’s just this kind of beat and then that kind of beat, delivered by anonymous goons from behind a distant turntable? Then you might like this. Beardyman’s been around for donkey’s years as a championship beatboxer, but of late he’s been expanding his live shows into multi-headed spectaculars, mixing audience-suggested improv beatmongering with errant stand-up.

There are still beats aplenty, but there’s also human interaction and a beardful of fun. The bill he ‘Presents’ at Motion includes big-beat party kings Stanton Warriors, DMC Champ JFB, fatboy rapper Stig of the Dump and, well, lots of anonymous chaps behind turntables. But doubtless they’ll be wonderful too.

Film Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows

3.

// Robert Downey Jr reprises his roguish detective, dragging Jude Law’s reluctant Watson and 'The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo' star Noomi Rapace on a CGI-enhanced romp across Europe to battle the mysterious Moriarty.

SHERLOCK HOLMES: GAME OF SHADOWS IS OUT FRI 16 DEC. SEE WWW. VENUE.CO.UK FOR MORE.

BEARDYMAN PRESENTS IS AT MOTION, BRISTOL, FRI 9 DEC FFI: WWW.

12BRISTOLINMOTION.COM // december 2011

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PIC: MAGNUMARTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

Event Cardboard Apocalypse

5.

// The best fancy dress is always homemade. Grab as much cardboard as you can, turn yourself into a giant robot, a broken arcade machine or a three-horned goatbeast and waddle uncomfortably to the Cube for their annual party to end all parties. In their own words: “It is the future.

Global economies have melted. Liquid assets are frozen.

Stockbrokers are broken. Society has collapsed and we are going to rebuild it with a glue gun.” Quite literally sticking it to the man (or woman).

4.

Performance The French Detective And The Blue Dog

CARDBOARD APOCALYPSE THE CUBE, BRISTOL, SAT 31 DEC. FFI: WWW.CUBECINEMA.COM

6.

// A brand new Christmassy musical comedy centred on a bumbling Gallic detective, his sparky niece and a mysterious crime wave in a small French village. Ooh la la!

7.

Music Death in Vegas

THE FRENCH DETECTIVE AND THE BLUE DOG THE EGG, BATH, FRI 9 DECSUN 8 JAN. FFI: WWW.THEATREROYAL. ORG.UK/THE-EGG. SEE P.18 FOR MORE.

Music Handel’s Messiah // Baroque specialists La Nuova Musica (pictured) give an unexpectedly intimate performance of Handel’s seasonal celebratory oratorio. Altogether now: “Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Ha-lle-lu-jah!” etc.

HANDEL’S MESSIAH ST GEORGE’S BRISTOL, SUN 18 DEC. FFI: WWW.STGEORGESBRISTOL.CO.UK

8.

INK DOT: RESOLUTION GLASS ROOM GALLERY AT COLSTON HALL, BRISTOL, TUE 1 DEC-THUR 5 JAN. FFI: venuemagazine INK-DOT.CO.UK

Recommended 975.indd 13

DEATH IN VEGAS THEKLA BRISTOL, TUE 13 DEC. FFI: WWW.THEKLABRISTOL.CO.UK

Music Carols by Candlelight // Cathedral. Carols. Candles. That is all.

Art Ink Dot: Resolution

// Ink Dot is a group endeavour aiming to celebrate the often overlooked talent of Bristol’s best designers and illustrators. They set themselves a simple brief, then work as freely as they can with it. Their next open-invite show ‘Resolution’ demands they work to a specific template and eight pre-ordained colours – if previous years are anything to go by, the results will be anything but predictable.

// Remember them? Well, him, really – Richard Fearless: made some pleasingly menacing dance records back in the 90s, drifted into relative obscurity. Now he’s back, and despite its inauspicious title, new album ‘Trans-Love Energies’ is a cracker – nocturnal techno that’s eerie, sleek and throbbing by turns.

CAROLS BY CANDLELIGHT BRISTOL CATHEDRAL, FRI 16 DEC. SEE WWW.BRISTOL-CATHEDRAL.CO.UK

9.

10.

Comedy Rob Deering // Gleeful, utterly endearing music-enriched stand-up, all silly stories and big boyish grins.

ROB DEERING COMEDY BOX AT THE HEN AND CHICKEN, BRISTOL, FRI 16 & SAT 17 DEC. FFI:

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11/22/2011 7:16:26 PM

The Interview Elis James From service station sandwiches to supporting Stephen Merchant, the Welsh funnyman tells Fiona Morrison about life in comedy’s fast lane.

Making people laugh with an idea I’ve come up with that day and knowing it’s going to be really strong material is the best thing. I’ve loved comedy since I was a little kid, so occasionally when I’m watching my favourite sitcoms like ‘The Office’ and ‘Alan Partridge’ I’ll be thinking: “On some level, I’m part of comedy, this is my job.”

“I used to do impressions of Margaret Thatcher.”

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Elis James: does a mean Thatcher

I realise those people are doing what I’m doing and I feel very privileged.

My instinct becomes more refined the more comedy I do, and people respond really positively. When I was really young I did a gig at The Hatchet in Bristol and some guy from Swindon stood up and shouted: “You have lost control! This needs to end and this needs to end now!” It’s a bit of an outof-body experience. It’s like being criticised for your work by your boss but in front of all your colleagues and a room full of strangers. You can’t just hand in your notice or ask to see people in HR. You’ve got to reply with a joke.

Bristol feels like home turf because I used to live in Cardiff.

I did last year’s show at The Hen and Chicken as well. I really love that place. Steve Lount promotes it: he’s been brilliant – he’s so devoted to comedy and putting on a really good night. I’m also supporting Steve Merchant on his tour. I love ‘The Office’ so getting to spend time with Stephen is a real honour. The great thing about those gigs of Stephen’s is that the audience is nice and attentive so you can tell stuff that’s slightly longer that you would in a rowdier weekend club where people are all drunk and throwing chicken wings at each other.

I really like telling stories.

The show is largely stuff from childhood and first-time experiences. My mum realised that not reading me a bedtime story as a kid was a far more effective punishment than sending me to my room

PIC: Idil Sukan

When I’m driving I sit side-saddle like I’m a riding a horse at a show-jumping event. The worst thing about being a comic is spending an unhealthy amount of time in a very dirty Ford Focus Estate.

I know far too much about service station sandwiches. If I could never eat another service station sandwich for as long as I live, I’d be a very happy man.

Driving 30,000 miles a year is pretty annoying. I would love never to drive again.

or giving me a smack. From when I was really little I’d love hearing and telling stories, so doing the first-time experience stuff is a rich theme to have in mind for shows.

Watching my dad watching ‘Blackadder’ at 13 was a lifechanging moment. He was laughing so much he couldn’t put the cup of tea to his mouth and either spat it out or spilled it. Over the course of the halfhour programme there was this great lull and I decided I wanted to make people laugh like that. Every few minutes he’d say “I’ll make another cup” but never actually did. I just remember watching that and thinking it was really special.

I used to do impressions of Margaret Thatcher which my parents and grandparents found hilarious. I guess that’s when I started performing. I’d imagine that the impression itself was very disappointing, but I guess the humour was me trying to do Margaret Thatcher

in the first place. I must have liked the attention.

“Someone who followed a very dodgy path in his early to late twenties and ended up dead but with a very good credit rating,” is how I’d like to be remembered.

I’m really enjoying writing a couple of shows for radio at the moment – I’d love to do more of that in the future.

I’d also like to write a TV sitcom and the most perfect, most impressive comedy show for Edinburgh festival.

Although I’m really proud of my shows at Edinburgh so far, I’ve always thought I could do better. Bristol’s one of my favourite towns to do an acoustic gig in – as long as nobody shouts “you have lost control!” I’ll be a very happy man.

CATCH ELIS JAMES AT THE HEN & CHICKEN, BRISTOL ON FRI 2 AND SAT 3 DEC. CHECK WWW. THECOMEDYBOX.CO.UK FOR DETAILS.

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PIC: RICHARD CANON

Handel, with care: 'Coram Boy' cast members Tristan Sturrock (last seen as Long John Silver in BOV's 'Treasure Island' and Emily Head (from 'The Inbetweeners') Below: CB's young company set to work

t u o b Aa boy A full choir, live orchestra and a huge professional and nonprofessional ensemble cast drawn from the fertile talent reserves of the South West: Joe Spurgeon speaks to some of the creative team behind Bristol Old Vic/ Colston Hall’s epic collaborative Christmas show, ‘Coram Boy’.

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hen I read it again recently – and I’ve read it a lot – I was immediately ensnared. It’s a very compelling story that tells you more about yourself and other people than contemporary plays set now, in the today, do. It has a huge sense of family – all the complexities, pain, compassion, conflict and difficulties – I’ve always been drawn to it.”

Melly Still, director of the Bristol Old Vic’s Christmas show, ‘Coram Boy’, has had a long relationship with Jamelia Gavin’s epic, emotionflushed historical novel, having directed the show’s original (highly successful) incarnation at the National Theatre and its subsequent stint on Broadway between 2005 and 2007.

The tale, which weaves together several people, events and places from the past is a monumentally multi-themed affair that uses the life and work of composer George Handel (born to a family wholly indifferent to his musical impulses) and the Londonbased Foundling Hospital set up by sea-faring philanthropist Thomas Coram for the “education and maintenance of exposed and deserted young children”. With a plot that pits two abandoned boys into a very unforgiving world, there’s a gothic, almost Dickensian feel to the ensuing tale of kindness, compassion, reunion and tragedy.

“I didn’t know about Thomas Coram until I read Jamelia’s book,” continues Still, “It’s such an extraordinary tale and gives a strong sense of things still going on today – babies are left unwanted or grow up in difficult circumstances or are trafficked or sold. These are difficult things you can’t always talk about when there’s too much reality; ‘Coram Boy’ is set apart from today so is immediately ‘unreal’, which allows you to really explore certain truths. It feels very real to people, whereas if it was more contemporary in terms of its time and place, it might superficially be more identifiable, but it would have less impact. It’s an interesting difference between what is ‘real’ and ‘true’.”

“It’s also got the heart of the West Country,” continues Bristol Old Vic’s artistic director Tom Morris, who was also on board during ‘Coram Boy’’s initial London run. “Jamelia Gavin lives in Stroud, it’s set in the 18th century when the Bristol Old Vic was built and Bristol was a major trading port. Just as importantly, the production itself is owned by the community – children [and adults] from all over Bristol and Bath will form the choir, we have local musicians, non-professionals, producers and crew all working alongside a core professional cast. It profoundly belongs to this city and this region.”

And the reason for that? “One of our priorities at the Old Vic is to engage the creative community of Bristol without compromising quality; we’ve done that here – the cast is a double-A cast and would work anywhere, it just so happens that a lot of them are local. All we’ve done is make a commitment to including local artists in the work we produce and lo and behold we find that Bristol is sitting on a goldmine of acting talent.

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“We are indeed finding the silver lining in having our main house closed for refurbishment, in that it has given us the opportunity to connect this theatre with the city in a much more comprehensive way than it had been previously. ‘Coram Boy’ fits into a pattern of work that included building a theatre in the street for ‘Treasure Island’ and taking [cult folk tale theatre company] Kneehigh to St George’s… we want to remind people that the theatre belongs to them.”

Having such a large, partly non-professional cast, as well as locating the production away from the traditional Bristol Old Vic HQ will undoubtedly bring challenges, especially for a play already widely known and burdened with a certain expectation to shine. Morris is bullish regardless: “Bringing together a company of this scale and complexity is a huge challenge, especially to balance the sound of the spoken word with the orchestra and a choir, but there’s something that happens when you combine professionals with non-professionals, and as you engage with the complexity of it all, the thrill of achieving it becomes contagious. It’s going to be very, very powerful. Some people

“My sense is that it really will be something that people talk about in Bristol for years to come.”

Tom Morris, Bristol Old Vic like a huge emotional story, some people like a huge musical experience at Christmas – this connects with both. My sense is that it really will be something that people talk about in Bristol for years to come.”

13-year-old Finn Lacey, head boy chorister at Wells Cathedal School, plays the part of musical protégé Aaron (you may also have seen him pop up during Theatre Royal Bath’s huge community production of ‘Ben Hur’ in 2010 as a young Judah Ben Hur) and will be partly responsible for driving both the show’s story and musical elements.

“The rehearsals so far have been good.

All the young people in the show are really getting to know each other – it’s a mixture of the Bristol Old Vic Youth Theatre and those of us who are new. What does it mean to us to be in a production like ‘Coram Boy’? All I know is that it’s weird to see leaflets and posters for it everywhere in Bristol. I think people who see it will find it heart-warming and full of Christmas spirit. Do I think people will cry? Maybe old ladies…

“The story of [my character] Aaron means a lot to me. I have found being a chorister hard sometimes, but it is the best thing I have ever done. Last December, Wells Cathedral Choir was voted the best choir with children in the world

by Gramophone magazine. We went on tour to The Hague. I didn’t want to go, but it was brilliant.

What did we sing? ‘The Messiah’, of course!”

With such talent to hand, it’s hard to imagine ‘Coram Boy’ won’t tug at a fair few festive heartstrings, and indeed, with BOV’s 2010 Xmas adventure ‘Swallows and Amazons’ bound for the National Theatre, shows like the BOV-hosted ‘Boing!’ heading to London’s prestigious Sadler’s Wells Theatre, not to mention the continued breadth of artists flocking to the Tobacco Factory, Theatreland Bristol remains in rather rude health.

“I’ve been here for two years now and just about every week I discover something new and extraordinary about the cultural life and cultural potential of Bristol,” agrees Morris. “I keep meeting artists who are moving here or coming here to make work and people outside Bristol are beginning to understand what an extraordinarily vigorous cultural offering we have. As we’re starting to connect better, we’re on the brink of uncovering what the city could be: not just by making good shows, but by becoming a place where the city’s economic capacity is intimately connected to the city’s cultural strength.

“I saw a show called ‘Swamp Juice’ earlier this year, made by a Canadian called Jeff [Achtem], it was one of the most extraordinary things I saw at the Edinburgh Festival. Totally amazing.

It has 3D shadow puppetry which few people have ever seen, and you just wouldn’t believe it’s possible. We wanted to bring him here but we were told he wasn’t available. Eventually I tracked him down in Montreal, and I said could I come and see him as it just happened that I was going to be in Canada shortly; again, I was told no, because he was making his new show in, hang on… yes, he’s making it in Bristol. He didn’t know about Bristol Old Vic, the Tobacco Factory, the Cube, Arnolfini, he’d just been to Bristol and decided this was the right kind of environment to come to, at his own expense, to make his new show. It’s absolutely nuts… trust me, there’s something in the water here.”

CORAM BOY RUNS FROM 21-30 DEC AT THE COLSTON HALL, BRISTOL. TICKETS ARE £7-£26 AVAILABLE FROM 0117 987 7877 OR WWW.BRISTOLOLDVIC.ORG.UK

WIN CORAM BOY TICKETS Feeling festive-ish then? We’ve got three pairs of ‘Coram Boy’ tickets (including a programme and two interval drinks) to give away to the first three readers who email editor@venue. co.uk by 14 Dec with the subject header ‘coram’ and the correct answer to the following tricksy question: which other Bristol Old Vic-produced show is bound for the National Theatre this month? a) Treasure Island b) The Misanthrope c) Swallows and Amazons WINNERS WILL BE NOTIFIED IMMEDIATELY SO DO SEND US A NAME AND A NUMBER. THE TICKETS ARE VALID FOR ANY PERFORMANCE FROM 21-26 DEC.

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Comedy, magic, dance, drama and The Hoff: here’s what we’ll be watching in wonder this Christmas. Research: Fiona Morrison.

GO TO THE BALL WITH CINDERELLA: A FAIRYTALE (Wed 7 Dec to Mon 16 Jan, £6-£15, Tobacco Factory, Bristol) • Adam Peck (he of the sublime ‘Bonnie and Clyde’ two-hander and recent BOV solo show ‘Only’) and director Sally Cookson (who oversaw Bristol Old Vic’s summer smash ‘Treasure Island’) preside over the 2011 Tobacco Factory/Travelling Light festive offering: and what a belter it looks too, as the crack creative team behind last year’s ‘Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves’ (four stars, “Elegantly theatrical, inventive and witty,” we cooed) reunite for a subversive, quirksome musical take on the beloved tale of familial fortunes, romance, revelry and impractical footwear.

FFI: 0117 902 0344, WWW.TOBACCOFACTORYTHEATRE.COM

AWAKEN THE LITTLE GREY CELLS WITH THE FRENCH DETECTIVE AND THE BLUE DOG (Fri 9 Dec to Sun 8 Jan, £10-£17.50, the egg, Bath) • We’ve no hesitation in recommending the latest show (a world premiere, no less) to burst out of the theatrical hit factory staffed

by Olivier Award-nominee Hattie Naylor (text), Paul Dodgson (music and lyrics), Hayley Grindle (design) and Lee Lyford

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(direction). The quartet have previously brought us gems like 2009’s ‘The Nutcracker’ and last year’s ‘Alice Through the Looking Glass’, so all the auguries are good for this brand new musical comedy centred around a bumbling Gallic detective, his sparky niece and a mysterious crime wave in a small French village.

FFI: 01225 448844, WWW.THEATREROYAL.ORG.UK

SING THE MORPETH CAROL AND FEEL THE TOUCH OF TIM BURTON (Thurs 8-Sat 17 Dec, £10/£7conc, Bristol Old Vic Basement) • Christmas eve. Nine-year-old Harry watches as a sled crash-lands outside his tumbledown, ramshackle home. Bloodied, broken reindeer lie twitching on the pavement and a bearded man burdened with gifts prepares to put them out of their misery with a shotgun. This mightn’t be your usual hypercolour family panto, but Sleepdogs’ five-man production (another graduate from the Old Vic’s Bristol Ferment development programme) and atmospheric live soundscaping make this adult fairytale very much in a murky, midnight world of its own.

FFI: 0117 987 7877 WWW.BRISTOLOLDVIC.ORG.UK

PULL A FEW MAGIC CRACKERS WITH PETER CLIFFORD (Various dates between Thur 15 Dec and Sat 7 Jan, £9/£7, The Brewery, Bristol) • The Derren Brown-collaborating, Shakespeare at the Tobacco Factory-starring Peter Clifford – a devilish, glint-eyed trickster of the highest repute – brings his latest sorcerous show to town with illusion, sleight-of-hand and actual real magic, to confound, confuse and discombobulate.

If it’s anything like his previous outings, we’re in for a feast of gags, puzzles and PC’s polished raconteuring. Bamboozling, but in a very good way.

FFI: 0117 902 0344 WWW.TOBACCOFACTORYTHEATRE.COM

FILL UP ON PICK & MIX (Sat 17 Dec, £10/£12, The Rondo, Bath) • Bath’s nurturing home of new writing and open-door experimentalism presents a familiar favourite to close out 2011: cabaret troupe New Old Friends uncork a coruscating instalment of their popular Christmas cabaret (last year’s madcap Xmas ‘Anti-Panto’ was something of a sell-out smash) stuffed with sketches, comedy songs, stand-up and music from a mix of local talent. Well funny.

FFI: 01225 463362, WWW.RONDOTHEATRE.CO.UK WWW.NEWOLDFRIENDS.CO.UK

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1. The French Detective and the Blue Dog; 2. Cinderella: A Fairytale; 3. Peter Clifford; 4. Nick Helm; 5. Bath Time; 6. Dick Whittington; 7. The Ministry of Burlesque; 8. Peter Pan

SPLISH SPLOSH! IT’S BATH TIME (Various dates between Wed 14 Dec and Sun 8 Jan, £6, The Brewery, Bristol) • Running in tandem with Magic Crackers (see previous), this touring Oxford Playhouse production is a whole heap of watery silliness celebrating the games we play in the bath with words, music, dance and puppetry: ideal for children aged two to five, there are lots of chances to dive in and have a play – and, nervous parents, no towels are required.

FFI: 0117 902 0344 WWW.TOBACCOFACTORYTHEATRE.COM

EAT, DRINK AND LAUGH YOUR TROUBLES AWAY AT A KRATER CHRISTMAS KRACKER (2, 3, 8, 9, 10, 15, 16, 17 and 22 Dec, £16-£45, Komedia, Bath) • Top tickets will score you the best seats in the house, a whopping three-course Christmas meal, a smattering of circuit-hardened funny folks (our hot tip – volatile gobsmith Nick Helm on 10 Dec) and a proper knees-up with the funksome Motorcity DJs until the wee hours. Comedy not your bag? How about the saucy minxstresses of The Ministry of Burlesque (23 Dec), Drags Aloud (18 Dec) or tribbers Suspiciously Elvis (14 Dec) and the Fab Beatles (21 Dec)?

FFI: 0845 293 8480 WWW.KOMEDIA.CO.UK/BATH

MAKE SURE YOUR CHRISTMAS CONTRACT CONTAINS AN ESCAPE CLAUS (10 and 17 Dec, £12/£8, The Little Black Box Theatre, Bristol) • Indulge yourselves with a Christmas quiz, Alf the Elf singing Christmas classics and complimentary mince pies and mulled wine at this bijou performance space where the main event – Dan Phillips’s tragicomic, festive-themed “play for adults” about a shopworker whose idealistic notions of ‘happy ever after’ mightn’t

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work out for the best – should raise plenty of laughs/eyebrows.

FFI: 0117 909 9399 WWW.THE-LITTLE-BLACK-BOX.CO.UK

CRACK INTO THE COMEDY BOX THIS CHRISTMAS (1, 2, 3, 9, 10, 16, 17 Dec, £20.50-£33.50, The Comedy Box, Bristol) • As if a two (£18) or three (£23) course meal (including coffee and mice pies) downstairs at the Hen & Chicken (sample main: cinnamon roasted pork loin, orange & fennel compote, roast potatoes, glazed carrots, buttered brussel sprouts, caraway jus) wasn’t attractive enough, December’s comedy line-up looks excellent as ace Welsh raconteur Elis James (see interview on p.15), livewire charmer Imran Yusuf (9-10 Dec) AND gleeful guitar-toting maestro Rob Deering all look in. Bonza.

FFI: 0117 966 3143 WWW.THECOMEDYBOX.CO.UK

TASTE HOFFMANIA AS PETER PAN FLIES IN TO TOWN (Sat 10 Dec to Sun 8 Jan, £20.50-£33.50, Bristol Hippodrome) • It’s all about two words. The. Hoff. Yep, Mitch Buchanan/Michael Knight/Lord Hoffmeister QC gets wigged up as Captain Hook for the Hippo’s monster seasonal spectacular with “big song and dance numbers, a laugh-a-minute script and bags of audience participation”. You know what you’re letting yourself in for.

FFI: 0844 8711 3012 WWW.BRISTOLHIPPODROME.ORG.UK

RIPROAR YOUR APPROVAL AT BRISTOL’S NEWEST COMEDY JOINT (Fridays and Saturdays from 3-23 Dec, £15-£33.50, RipRoar Comedy, Bristol) • In the corner of College Square in a building

called the Cresswell Centre, you’ll find RipRoar in rather rude health: Bristol’s newest comedy club is born from the brains behind mirth merchants Jesters (formerly of Stokes Croft) which means you can expect similarly high standards here: a triple-bill of ascendant standups (including Nick Page, Phil Butler and Sully O’Sullivan), a smashing four-choice festive carvery (you don’t even have to pre-order) and DJs droppin’ mainstream dancefloor bombs until 1am.

FFI: 0117 914 0910 WWW.RIPROARCOMEDY.CO.UK

SEEK YOUR FORTUNE WITH DICK WHITTINGTON (Thur 15 Dec to Sun 22 Jan, £7-£25, Theatre Royal Bath) • The Theatre Royal’s boisterous annual panto offering features perennial dame Chris Harris as Sarah the Cook, swoonsome ‘Holby City’/‘Brookside’ star Mark Moraghan as the roguish King Rat with CBBC’s Naomi Wilkinson setting off to seek his/her fortune in the big smoke as the titular, down-at-heel Dick.

FFI: 01225 448844 WWW.THEATREROYAL.ORG.UK

TAKE A FRESH LOOK AT THE NATIVITY (Thurs 22-Sat 24 Dec, 8pm on Thurs and Fri, 4pm on Fri and Sat, £7.50/£5, St Swithin’s Church, Bath) • Director John East and Just Enough Theatre Company – last seen round these parts with their take on the rarely-performed Shakespearean tragicomedy ‘The Two Noble Kinsmen’ – fuse the language of the Gospels and scenes from the medieval mystery plays with music, movement and not a little candlelit magic to breathe new life into this most simple of tales. Cracking venue, too.

FFI: 01225 463362, WWW.JUST-ENOUGH.CO.UK

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From l-r: police face down the rioters in Stokes Croft; Jo Yeates's boyfriend Greg Reardon manages more dignity than much of the UK's media put together; some feathery types get behind the 'Save Venue' campaign

BRISTOL 2011 in Bristol, then... Two big riots, a smaller riot, local elections, care home scandals, two sensational murder cases in the national headlines, and gorillas. Hey, the gorillas were great, weren’t they?

Some years, you just get a full-on news overload and 2011 was one of the best ever.

As it was in Bristol, so it was in the wider world, with everything from the Arab Spring to British riots, the Japanese tsunami and the world’s financial system crashing into a brick wall, then backing up the wreckage, and crashing into the wall again, and again, and again.

Despite all these huge global events, and quite a lot of momentous stuff happening even in our little corner, any outsider would get the impression that the only thing of any consequence here was one single tragic death.

The case of Joanna Yeates filled more column inches and airtime in the national media than anything else in Bristol this year.

More than the riots, more than the abuse of residents in privately-run care homes, more than Occupy Bristol, more even than the downfall of arrogant defence minister and local (-ish) MP Liam Fox. And more than the ongoing saga of the extradition to South Africa of Shrien Dewani to face allegations of murdering his wife.

Ah, but Jo Yeates was not your normal killing. Young, educated, attractive, blonde, she had a career, plans for marriage to a devoted boyfriend, she lived in posh Clifton – and the killer’s identity was not immediately apparent.

Her body was found on Christmas Day 2010, and Vincent Tabak was convicted of her murder at the end of October. For a couple of months, Avon & Somerset Police were under desperate pressure, and didn’t always get it right. At one point they even tried to ban an ITN news crew from press conferences because someone in the chain of command didn’t like their criticism of the handling of the case.

In a year in which the reputation of the British press sank to unprecedented lows with ongoing revelations about phone hacking, the

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Yeates case made things even worse. When her landlord Chris Jeffries was arrested as part of the investigation, the rags fell over each other to name and judge him. When he was eliminated from the investigation, his lawyers took several papers to the cleaners.

This is the point at which liberals sagely stroke their beards and murmur about how evil the tabloids are… Really? The red tops do this stuff because it sells papers, because a sizeable section of the Great Brutish Public turn out to be angry, twisted savages with a boundless appetite for prurience. And when they’ve feasted, they get online. The most vindictive Glenda Slag in Fleet Street couldn’t come up with some of the bile that the troll army anonymously post on the web.

Joanna Yeates’s boyfriend Greg Reardon put out a very poignant statement about what the loss meant to him, and went on to say: “The finger pointing and character assassination by social and news media of as-yet innocent men has been shameful. It has made me lose a lot of faith in the morality of the British Press and those that spend their time fixed to the Internet in this modern age.” (Our italics.) Reardon showed more dignity, courage and generosity of spirit than most people in his situation could ever hope to muster. Let’s hope it helps him through his godawful experience. Meanwhile, he’s set up a justgiving page to collect money for the Missing People charity. See www.justgiving. com/joannayeates.

The other thing that got Bristol the most national media attention in 2011 was, of course, riots. While cities across England were convulsed by massive street disorder and looting over the summer, Bristol – as always! – got in there first. In April we had two successive weekends of disorder on and around Stokes Croft. Bristol’s copycat summer riots (St Pauls, spilling over into Cabot Circus) were weedy by comparison.

Pundits said it was all about Tesco, unemployment or a large class alienated from the mainstream political process, yadayadayada. Actually, all you can say for sure is that it was a bunch of stuff that happened. The first episode took place on a warm Friday evening at pub chucking-

BEST OF 2011 HEROES 1 You, the People 2 BBC Natural History Unit 3 The Wow! Gorillas We gotta hand it to you, dear Venue readers. Without you, we wouldn’t be here.

As Venue faced recession-induced doom, the good people of Bristol and Bath rallied around, showered us with love through the Save Venue campaigns, new subscriptions and fundraisers. Messages of support filled our inboxes. We could’ve cried. Many of us did. A new future was planned, revised and made a reality. Thus Venue lives on, stronger and more widely read than it has been in years. Bristol still has its trusty what’s on wondermag, and the future’s looking bright.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

In second place, it’s the Bristol-based (still!

Hurrah!) BBC Natural History Unit. You know, those brave camera-wielding folks what made this year's jaw-dropping ‘Frozen Planet’, as well ‘Life’, ‘The Blue Planet’, ‘Springwatch’, ‘Life on Earth’ et al. Didja know, 50% of all wildlife films screened anywhere in the world, at any time, are made in Bristol. Staggering. We remain in awe.

Third on the podium are Bristol Zoo’s 175th anniversary Wow! Gorillas. The friendly primate sculptures really captured the public imagination this year and raised over £400,000 for gorilla conservation work and Wallace and Gromit’s Grand Appeal.

Honourable mentions: our outgoing Music Ed, Julian Owen (nine years behind Rock Desk, man and boy) – a man whose passion for the local scene and skill with words still leaves us with a warm feeling.

In a nice way. He still writes for us now and then, thank goodness. Respect also due to the outspoken UK Uncut crew, the be-tented optimists of Occupy Bristol, the wonderful Bear Pit Improvement Group and venerable Bathonian film-maker Ken Loach, 75 years young and still one of the country's most important film-makers. (Mike White)

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1 The riots 2 Cars 3 Ashton Vale stadium Whatever underlying political motives may have been in the minds of some of those involved, the riots this April and August will be remembered by most as a time of ugly scenes, police heavy-handedness, looting, thoughtless destruction and a huge waste of public money. No clear political message emerged, nothing changed for the better. What a waste.

For another year, stupid cars have continued to choke our fair city, bringing the streets to a near standstill, demanding ever-increasing parking monoliths and pumping out poisonous fumes. For a socalled ‘Cycling City’ we still have a long way to go...

Finally, the ongoing debacle of Ashton Vale stadium – a proposal to waste millions of pounds building a brand new ugly great bowl for Bon Jovi to play in when he comes to Bristol. Thankfully it’s come to nought so far. Let’s hope good sense prevails before any more money is wasted on it.

Dishonourable mention: Jacob Rees-Mogg.

Just because. (Mike White)

out time when police officers, acting on information they absolutely had to check, raided a squat on Stokes Croft looking for petrol bombs which they had been told were being prepared for use against the street’s new and, among the radical and alternative classes, deeply unpopular branch of Tesco.

The following weekend, lots of kids descended on Stokes Croft from other parts of town, indeed some were riot tourists from whole other countries. Some were looking to take part in aggro, others just wanted to watch.

The Stokes Croft incidents were not really about wider political or economic issues; they could have happened anytime. From those who were actually there, you got a whole gamut of different views. If there was any constant, it was about defending an area which many take a great deal of pride in from (allegedly) heavy-handed policing, and/or

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having an unwanted corporate store foisted on them.

For politics and protest, you’d have to look to the local guerrilla activities of UKUncut, the old-skool marches and College Green speechifying of the Bristol & District Anti-Cuts Alliance and, of course, the Occupy Bristol camp. All of these movements have had widespread public support, and the camp’s occupants include a much wider cross-section than just the usual activist suspects. Several people at the camp say the coppers have been very friendly – because they’re facing cuts and job losses as a result of the bankers’ actions, just like everyone else. It is these movements which are a far more accurate reflection of Bristol’s alarm at the way things are going than the riots.

And there is plenty to be alarmed about.

House prices fell, though not enough to make them affordable to people who’d normally be on the ladder by now. At the same time, private sector rents started rising. According to Oxford Economics, average rents in the South West will rise from £448 a month in 2011 to £533 in 2016.

People are working longer hours for the same money, or shorter hours for less money, and precious few private sector workers have seen a pay-rise in many a year. In the greater Bristol area, though, there’s around 21,000 people unemployed; 14,000 or so within the city boundaries. That’s a rise of 20% on the previous year. Now try and find any economist who says it’s not going to get worse in the coming 12 months.

Plenty will tell you things aren’t as bad in Bristol as elsewhere, and our diverse economy and highly educated workforce puts us in a strong position to take advantage of the recovery, whenever the hell it comes. And only around 10% of the city’s 18-24-year-olds are NEETs; youth employment may be soaring but it’s not so bad here as most of those who aren’t in jobs are in education. Yes, yes, it could all be much worse, but in work or not, nearly all of us are hurting.

The public service infrastructure is starting to fray as a result of government cuts; Bristol has to lop £70m off its spending in four years.

PIC CREDIT: Ellen Doherty www.duchessphotographic.com

BEST OF 2011 ANTI-HEROES

BEST OF 2011 EVENT 1 See No Evil 2 Festival of Ideas 3 M Shed opening See No Evil – Bristol ‘place-maker’ Mike Bennett gave £40k of his own salary to help the world’s top street artists transform Nelson Street from a boardedup eyesore into a vibrant asset. It was – and continues to be – a thing to be proud of. Bringing the brightest brains around to Bristol and getting them to share, discuss and defend their thoughts, the Festival of Ideas once again challenged and entertained our little grey cells. M Shed – over budget, over deadline, planned by committee – whatever else you may think of it, it’s big and bright and 100,000+ have flocked to Bristol’s newest museum to find out more about the story of a city and its people. Honourable mention must go to Pride – back for their second year, bigger, better, bolder and brighter. Also on the honours list are Stokes Croft Streetfest, Bristol Zombie Walk, BrisFest and Bristol Cycle Festival. (Mike White)

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From l-r: Tesco takes a beating; Occupy Bristol; UKUncut take a stand; See No Evil dominates Bristol eyelines; broad-minded polyrockers Zun Zun Egui; Bath's Kill It Kid and those effortlessly uncool Liftmen

BEST OF 2011 ALBUM 1 Zun Zun Egui ‘Katang’ 2 Joker ‘The Vision’ 3 Turbowolf ‘Turbowolf’ It feels odd to be recognising Zun Zun Egui for something as tangible as a CD – qualifiable and calculable, this band are not. But whilst their previous recorded efforts disappointingly lacked those balloon-let-loose dynamics, ‘Katang’ succeeds in capturing their staggeringly broad international range: it’s art rock that appeals to the viscera. Joker’s is a far more detached affair, bass-heavy as ever, yet surprisingly r’n’b flavoured: saying ‘The Vision’ is ambitious in its genreborrowing would be an understatement.

Aggressive? Yes. Obnoxious? At times.

It’s what we’ve come to expect from, and love about, Turbowolf. Their self-titled debut avoids that sometimes overbearing thrash energy-cyclone with productive slickness and tasteful electronics.

(Leah Pritchard)

The council is trying to balance its budget by cutting staff and privatising social care. This at the same time as TV screens were filled with sickening images of patients being abused at the privately-run Winterbourne care home (which is not in Bristol) while the same firm which owned it also closed its Rose Villa rehabilitation centre (which is) as a result of abuse allegations.

A cynic might say that the most vulnerable people who need local authority care are not a powerful political constituency, but stuff like this makes people mad as hell, and they blame the profit motive of the firms running these homes. And for many ordinary voters, who don’t have the money to put themselves or their loved ones into decent places, this is a real worry.

There was a mild sense of crisis down the Council House, what with job losses and huge cuts in various social and educational services.

Mind you, nobody is objecting to the thinning out of some of the overpaid top management tier.

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BEST OF 2011 BAND In local politics, though, it was business as per usual. The local elections came and went: Labour did well (not unexpectedly), and despite several furious attempts to disassociate themselves from Coalition cuts, the Lib Dems lost their overall majority. It was also one of those unusual local elections in which local issues were an important factor, in this case the Lib Dems’ unpopular strategy of selling off various parcels of green space around the city.

The honourable member for Florida, the useless Shirley Brown (LD, Ashley) was finally removed/persuaded to stand down, hurrah.

The Lib Dems lost Ashley to the Greens’ Gus Hoyt (he’s one of the people behind the Bristol free bus scheme: www.freebus.org.uk), meaning the Greens now have two councillors.

Assuming he doesn’t do something daft, he could be quite a force in local politics in years to come.

Labour, meanwhile, well yep, business as per... The strategy appears to be sit back and let the votes roll in as the Tories nationally and Lib Dems locally make themselves more unpopular. If the result of the ill-tempered by-election in Southmead in September is anything to go by – Labour ousted the Lib Dems, leaving them in third place – it’s a sound strategy. Shortly after the local elections, in one of those classic Labour backroom coups, popular leader Helen Holland was inexplicably deposed by the charismatically-challenged Peter Hammond. Well, they probably had some reason for this, but Bristol’s Labour group do not look like a convincing administration for the near future, but then they don’t have to.

‘Course it wasn’t all bad. Plenty of things happened to cheer up some of us. The thing that cheered us here at Venue up most of all was the marvellous grassroots campaign to save Venue from closure. At a time when every other provincial UK city has long since lost its what’s on mag, we’re still in business. We love you all.

Admittedly there wasn’t much cheer for Bristol City fans and club boss Steve Lansdown as the whole Ashton Vale saga dragged on with no resolution. It would be a brave City fan who would now bet on the new stadium ever being built on the site of what everyone thought was

1 Kill It Kid 2 Goan Dogs 3 Bravo Brave Bats With Björk as labelmate and a John Parish-produced EP, you hardly have to mention Kill It Kid’s two LPs to gauge their success. But look at September’s ‘Feet Fall Heavy’, and you’ll find the rootsy blues rock of The Black Keys mixed with gospel-tinged dual vocals.

More transatlantic sounds from Goan Dogs, who recall that desert-rock acid trip feel of Natural Born Killers, only more refined. Taking DIY to a new level of hyperawareness, Bravo Brave Bats have been blogging every aspect of their career, right down to the band’s finances.

See latest video ‘Red Giant’ for a taste of their Wedding Present-esque indie rock.

(Leah Pritchard)

BEST OF 2011 GIG 1 The Liftmen 2 Anika 3 Schnauser Music that isn’t embarrassed to revel in weirdness and ugliness: The Liftmen exude the kind of nonchalant swagger defined by bands like Fifth Column or Bush Tetras. It’s the classic case of playing hard to get: only something so effortlessly uncool could appeal this much. Berlin/Bristol-based Anika boils down The Liftmen’s post-punk, cleans it up and fastens on some dub basslines.

It’s slicker and more industrial, her presence captivating like a Warhol superstar. Then there’s Schnauser’s psychedelia, almost the polar opposite of the previous acts: in essence, 60s guitar pop via Montreal/Flaming Lips.

(Leah Pritchard)

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BEST OF 2011 DJ a former rubbish tip, but is actually one of the biggest town greens in England. Still, you’ve got to laugh.

Transport? More laughs there, eh? More people held meetings, more proposals were put forward, what with talk of getting the Portishead railway line up and running for commuters, or of slapping on a workspace parking place tax, or whatever. Bus lanes, bendy buses, more talk of a revived metro system. Know what? Nobody can follow or

BEST OF 2011 CLUB NIGHT 1 Das Ist/Ist Das 2 Crazylegs 3 Panhead Since Marco Bernardi (above) took over at the end of 2010, the renamed TB2 has been transformed into one of the West’s most distinctive and forward-thinking clubs, while in-house promotions under the names Das Ist and Ist Das have brought everyone from Dave Clarke and Slam to Egyptian Lover and DJ Funk to town.

Meanwhile, last year’s winners Crazylegs haven’t let up for a minute, with superb line-ups featuring Joy Orbison, Kyle Hall, Roska and Ben UFO. Finally, in a year where most of us were feeling a bit skint, the award for services to cost-free raving goes to Panhead’s fortnightly online sessions. (Adam Burrows)

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understand any of this any more. Actually the biggest laugh of all was had by First Group directors and shareholders who put their bloody fares up YET AGAIN. The very nice Polish driver told me on the day though that they’d not had a pay rise in years. Oh, and First, in their profiteering rail company guise, started charging taxi drivers £300 a year for the privilege of picking up fares from Temple Meads.

One bit of excellent transport news was that passenger numbers using Bristol’s suburban Severn Beach Rail Line have increased by 80% in the last four years, meaning Bristol City Council could reduce the subsidy it pays First Great Western (yes, them again) by half. It was a triumphant vindication for campaigners who worked to save and revive the line as a way of reducing road traffic.

There was good news on the education front, too, with continually improving GCSE results, which are pushing Bristol close to national averages. If you’re new here, that might not sound all that great, but trust us, compared with 10 years ago, it’s brilliant.

In more good school news one of education secretary Michael Gove’s beloved free schools opened in Bristol. This followed years of campaigning by middle-class parents in NW Bristol who didn’t want their kids to go to the oiky state schools nearby. Moreover they really fancied having the rather nice old Victorian buildings of St Ursula’s school in Westbury-onTrym for their free school, where there would be an “unashamedly” traditional curriculum (Latin). Well, it didn’t quite work out like that; the school’s intake was only half what was expected and it’s now based permanently, not in the lovely St Ursula’s, but, er, former government offices in, er, Southmead. Stop laughing at the back, there.

The free school, and every other secondary school, where there are currently a lot of surplus places, will be full up in a few years’ time anyway. Bristol’s population is booming, the birth rate is soaring and there’s a desperate shortage of primary school places, which despite cuts and everything recently forced the government to stump up £18m to try and accommodate them all.

1 Julio Bashmore 2 Cheeba 3 Baobinga With productions like the sublime ‘Battle For Middle You’ and ecstatically received appearances, Julio Bashmore was undoubtedly the clubland hero of 2011. While far from being a one-man movement he’s undoubtedly Bristol’s international trailblazer for the bassinjected house and garage sound that’s rapidly becoming the city’s calling card.

Elsewhere, Cheeba continued to display the West’s shocking-est skills, combining state-of-the-art turntablism with live video manipulation to stunning effect (check AV mix ‘Revenge of the Nerd’ online), while Baobinga’s irresistible fusions of dubstep, electro, jungle and breaks saw him plot dancefloor destruction from his underground lair on Stokes Croft. (Adam Burrows)

Some local industries are still doing well.

Aviation giant Airbus has several fat orders on its books, securing jobs at Filton for years to come. Airbus is also building a big new design and research centre at Filton. It won’t create any more jobs to add to the 4,000 or so people it already employs there, but, says the firm, it demonstrates its continuing commitment to Bristol. Which is nice.

And indeed a lot more cheering than the simultaneous news that weapons giant BAe Systems wants to sell the runway at Filton Airfield. Expect this one to run and run in the coming year. How do we hope to have an aerospace industry without a runway, and all that.

There was other good stuff, too. Chances are that in the years to come, the kids who will be filling all those surplus secondary school places will best remember 2011 for the gorillas that were all over town during the summer to mark the zoo’s 175th birthday. Maybe some of the older kids will be inspired to take up spray cans by the spectacular transformation wrought on Nelson Street by some of the world’s greatest

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Clockwise from bottom left: Marco Bernardi of Das Ist/Ist Das; First Bus - still rubbish; Bristol's second Green councillor Gus Hoyt; deckmeister general Julio Bashmore; the 'free school' debate arrived at Bristol's St Ursula's; Airbus business boomed; (Wow!) Gorillas in the mist; the note perfect Best of Elektrostatic Festival; and Southgate shopping in Bath

graffiti artists for the See No Evil fest.

Then there was M Shed, finally opened in June after all those delays and cost overruns, and persuading 15,000 punters to queue up to get in over the first weekend alone. If you’ve not taken a look yet, do it soon. It’ll be a bit quieter now, and it’ll learn you interesting stuff about Bristol’s rich and colourful past. Like how the city has often had to cope with savage economic downturns, and how our forebears also took to the street in protest against exploitation, unfairness and injustice and, more often than not, eventually triumphed.

BATH As usual, the tourists came, people argued about traffic schemes and conservation, the saga of whether or not Bath RFC would build a new stadium at the Rec or not went on and on, aaannnd a world-famous figure who happens to live in or near Bath came to switch on the Christmas lights. Er, that’s it, basically. Just like most other years.

One might be forgiven for thinking that world events, particularly the collapse of civilisation as we know it (copyright, all newspapers), had passed Bath by. The same thing probably happened in the 14th century, when Ye Bathe Chronicle probably led with headlines like “Half of world’s population perishes horribly in Black Death... Market traders cheered at news of Yuletide illuminations with celebrity Lollard John Wycliffe being burned as heretic…”

Bath has gotten off lightly in the current economic and public spending downturn.

There have been council and MoD job losses, B&NES announced two big rounds of cuts, but the tourist industry is holding up nicely and there’s even been an increase in daytrippers. The old Gainsborough Building is to be converted into a five-star hotel and spa complex, due to open in 2014.

Bath, though, is not rich and complacent enough to carry on as though nothing’s happened. Sure, the Coalition’s tearing up of the much-hated Regional Spatial Strategy,

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BEST OF 2011 CLASSICAL 1 Best of Elektrostatic 2 Alina Ibragimova 3 BSO/Gaffigan With deadlines leaving some of the biggest hitters of the classical ‘class of 2011’ outside the school gates (sorry Earth Music Bristol, Mozartfest and WNO’s Katya), there’s nonetheless a decent roll call from which to crown a teacher’s pet and a couple of stand-out acolytes. May’s Best of Elektrostatic Festival proved seriously ear-opening. Underpinning Charles Johnson’s vivid account of Maxwell Davies’s ‘8 Songs for a Mad King’, The Bristol Ensemble ceded nothing to the festival’s more international stars – New York’s eighth blackbird, and Colin Currie’s Group on blistering form in Steve Reich’s Drumming. Top-notch contemporary music inevitably cut a swathe through Bath Festival but violinist Alina Abragimova’s solo Bach seared. The BSO has turned in some stylish playing this year – none better than that for James Gaffigan’s Mahler 7. (Paul Riley)

which would have forced the council to build thousands of new houses, has been widely welcomed. But the wider world is catching the old place up. It’s not always good and people don’t always like it.

In this year’s local elections the Lib Dems in B&NES gained three seats and the Tories lost three. ‘Course Labour went from no seats to five seats as well, but not in actual Bath. The council went from no overall control Tory-run to no overall control Lib Dem-run. On coming to office, the Lib Dems unveiled another package of cuts, though it was smaller than the Tories’ package. This

doesn’t mean Bath doesn’t have a radical edge; it does. There’s even been an Occupy Bath camp in Queen Square (it might still be there as you read this).

Work started on the vast Western Riverside, which will substantially alter the city’s character and centre of gravity.

Meanwhile, the council recently had to cave in to demands for planning permission for two Tesco stores while another just opened at Bear Flat. Stuff like this matters a lot in Bath, and it’s plain that while Bathonians might not riot like they did in Bristol, they are, as a whole, way madder than Bristolians about these stores being foisted on them.

The pages of the Bath Chronicle are now taking on a theme of concern at the loss of independent local business – restaurants, pubs and shops. Shopping was/is one of Bath’s great glories; where else in the area will you find such a convenient concentration of shops run by people who actually care about what they’re selling?

But now the fear is that the corporate world is sinking its claws into the old place, and that’s not good. The Southgate Centre, with its assortment of all the usual chainstore fascias is nice, and its aggressive promotion brings the punters in, but everyone would much prefer independents. … Places like wonderful old music shop Duck, Son & Pinker. Which closed this year after trading in the city since 1848.

It had been trading at a loss for some years but had been supported financially by owner Leslie Fudge until his recent death. A statement said: “For many years the company had been supported by Mr Fudge personally, in his commitment to its survival as a matter of public service to the community and concern for the staff.”…

That’s the Bath we all want, and are losing.

Still, not everything modern is crap, is it?

The Holburne Museum finally reopened this year with its new extension out the back. A big blue glass cube stuck onto a Georgian building shouldn’t work, but by God it does.

Old Lady Bath can get with the times when she feels like it.

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Headlines of the year DRUNK MAN IN PARK ATTACKED HIS OWN DOG - Evening Post, 10 Jan

GLOUCESTERSHIRE MAN FINDS FACE OF ET IN A PIECE OF WOOD

- www.thisisgloucestershire.com, 26

Feb

FACEBOOK IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN GRAVITY - www.swns.com, 3 Mar

THE FOUNDATIONS OF EMPATHY ARE FOUND IN THE CHICKEN

- Bristol University press release, 9 Mar

MP BACKS MARLBOROUGH LOLLIPOP LADY FIGHT

- www.thisiswiltshire.co.uk, 16n Mar (“I’ll wager my duck house on the one on the right.” etc.)

COUPLE CAUGHT HAVING SEX OUTSIDE POLICE STATION ARE EXPECTING A BABY - www.thisisgloucestershire.co.uk

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SIGNS O THE TIMES • Dale Vince, former new age traveller and now boss of green energy firm Ecotricity, is also chairman of Forest Green Rovers FC at Nailsworth, Gloucestershire. He caused spluttering outrage in the much discriminated-against Bloke Community by banning hot dogs and pies from the Lawn Ground (as the hallowed turf at Nailsworth is called). Free-range white meat and fish (sourced sustainably, natch) are on offer instead.

• Electric cars can now drive between Exeter and Bristol after green energy firm Ecotricity opened a new charging point at Sedgemoor services on the M5, as part of the world’s first national electric car charging network. The “Electric Highway” now has charging points at Welcome Break motorway services on the M25, M40, M1, M4 and M5, all powered by green electricity from Ecotricity’s 53 windmills and solar farm.

• Local councils issued several warnings about clothing collections for bogus charities. You might think your unfashionable clobber isn’t worth much, but it’s now big business. If you get a collection bag through your letterbox, check carefully to see if it’s from a proper charity…

Meanwhile, one would-be thief climbed into a clothes recycling bin in a supermarket car park in Bradley Stoke, intending to steal the contents. CCTV footage showed him being pushed into the bin by an accomplice, who then legged it when challenged by security staff. Meanwhile his mate was stuck in there for FOUR HOURS and was only freed when the fire brigade cut the top off the bin.

• Bristol anarchists were holding fun sports and games sessions to get everyone in the peak of fitness for future demonstrations and actions including stretches, touch rugby and the extremely demo-relevant game of British Bulldogs.

BEST OF 2011 FILM 1 Incendies 2 Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy 3 The King’s Speech Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy and The King’s Speech are going to get all the attention, and not without good reason.

So partly to be contrary, but mainly to highlight a great film you might have missed, we’re going for the FrenchCanadian drama Incendies. The bare synopsis about Middle Eastern religious conflict makes it sound like heavy going, but the central story is a compelling mystery with a gut-punch of an ending.

It deserved a bigger audience, as did the extraordinary French flick Farewell. This is based on an astonishing true story of espionage which effectively ended the Cold War. Give yourself a treat and rent them both on DVD or blu ray. (Robin Askew)

• There are now about 440,000 people living in Bristol. If the trend of the last 10 years continues, there’ll be another 133,000 by 2028. This growth of 30% would be one of the highest in the UK. THE MARCH OF KNOWLEDGE • Around 30% of women would be willing to exchange at least one year of their lives in order to achieve their ideal body-weight and shape, according to a survey by the Centre for Appearance Research at the University of the West of England. Some 320 women studying at 20 UK universities – average age 24.49 years – were questioned, with 1% even willing to trade 21 years or more of their lives.

Other Faustian bargains some women would

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consider included: £5,000 of their annual salary (13%) or losing a promotion at work (8%).

• Bristol-based researchers for weapons conglomerate BAe Systems are developing “e-camouflage” or “electronic ink”, a coating enabling military vehicles to blend in, chameleon-like, with any background. They say they can even make a tank look like a cow.

• Archaeologists revealed that remains of three human skulls recovered from Gough’s Cave in Cheddar had been worked in such a

BEST OF 2011 LGBT 1 Pride Bristol 2 Wonky 3 Gay West Bristol got its Pride on again this summer and the week of theatre, comedy, film and sports events back in July was another enormous success. Having Kelis (below) as a headliner was a major coup, and people thronged to Castle Park despite the weather. Wonky proved once again that gay clubbing is about more than shaking your booty to Lady MehMeh, its mixture of indie, electro, new wave and classic dancefloor-friendly tunes still pulling them in seven years on. Special mention must go to Gay West, the Bath-based gay activist group which this year celebrates its 40th anniversary. (Darryl Bullock)

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way that they were probably used as drinking cups. Cheddar has long been a treasure trove of human remains from prehistoric times, and has already yielded plenty of evidence of cannibalism among the Cro Magnon huntergatherers who lived there over 10,000 years ago. Any suggestions that there are pubs in Cheddar where they still eat people and drink from their skulls are without foundation.

Probably.

• Bristol University’s School of Veterinary Sciences proudly announced it had bought two artificial sets of cow innards for students to practise on. You know, that James Herriot thing of shoving a whole arm in? Well, ‘Breed’n Betsy’ means that “practical teaching of the internal anatomy of a cow can be achieved using this rectal simulator” and no more real cows need to be violated in the name of veterinary training.

• A government TV ad encouraging people to become teachers had a mistake in. In the ad, set in a classroom, the algebra on the whiteboard was all wrong. This was spotted by a 15-year-old from Bristol, Chris Coombs, a year 10 at John Cabot Academy.

BUSINESS IS BUSINESS • In the New Year’s Honours, the man who supervised the sale of Cadbury to Kraft was knighted for “services to British industry”. The firm was sold to American food giant Kraft who loaded it with debt and immediately broke their pledge to keep the Keynsham factory open, but Roger Carr left the company with a £4 million package after the sale and was knighted. He is now running gas supplier Centrica. The last chocolate bar made at the Somerdale plant, a Double Decker, came off the conveyor belt at the beginning of the year. The factory had been open since the 1920s and the move ended a continuous history of almost 200 years of chocolate manufacture in the area.

PIC CREDIT: John stelling

From l-r: electric (car) dreams took a step nearer reality; the brilliant 'Incendies'; more mysteries unearthed in Cheddar's caves; eagle-eyed mathlete Chris Coombs; beefburger-banning Dale Vince; beach volleyballists Zara Dampney and Shauna Mullin; and the Bristol Old Vic fermeted 'Coasting'

BEST OF 2011 THESPS OF THE YEAR 1 Bristol Ferment 2 Bristol Festival of Puppetry 3 Wardrobe Theatre This year Bristol Old Vic’s artist development strand Bristol Ferment started to bear serious fruit. Shows like ‘Coasting’, ‘30 Cecil St’, ‘In a Town’ and ‘Under Stokes Croft’ saw daylight as fully-fledged theatrical evenings.

Our fave, though? Howard Coggins and Craig Edwards’s uproarious historical slapstick ‘The Six Wives of Henry VIII’. We hope that one’s still Fermenting, guys…? This year’s second Bristol Festival of Puppetry delivered fully on the incredible promise of its 2009 predecessor, with brilliant shows and puppeteers from Bristol and beyond showing that adult puppetry’s part of our cultural bread and butter. A big hurrah! goes out, too, to the brand new Wardrobe Theatre, which from a room above a Kingsdown pub is generating some fine new performance forms. (Steve Wright) • The classy Hooters “family restaurant” in Bristol faced fresh calls for its closure following allegations that a “boob cake” was served at a birthday party for a 12-year-old.

• Beach volleyball players, Bath-based Zara Dampney and Shauna Mullin put their arses up for sale, securing a sponsorship deal with betting firm Betfair which is to put matrix barcodes on their bikini bottoms.

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BEST OF 2011 PLAY OF THE YEAR

PIC CREDIT: simon annand

From l-r: inside Bristol's newly opened MShed; the superbly atmospheric 'Faith Healer'; 'Casualty' bums off to Cardiff; and the eminently talented pseudo mindreader Chris Cox

1 Faith Healer Bristol Old Vic 2 The 24 Hour Plays Ustinov 3 Yalla Yalla The Brewery/Henry VIII and the Royal Wedding Planner Rondo Theatre It’s been a good year for Simon Godwin, Bristol Old Vic’s associate director. This spring Godwin was also made associate at the Royal Court: just before that, though, he delivered a sparse and stunning version of Brian Friel’s Faith Healer at BOV: “gripping, mystifying, sometimes painfully funny, insidiously powerful and almost spiritually satisfying,” we said. The Ustinov’s 24 Hour Plays, where writers, directors and casts got together to write, rehearse and perform six short new plays across a weekend, was inspired and inspiring. Third equal goes to Henry VIII…, actor Julia Gwynne and director Andy Burden’s hugely entertaining account of Henry’s rapacious conjugal relations (coming to The Brewery, Bristol next year); and Yalla Yalla, PanGottic and Vid Warren’s mesmeric account of modern courtship, taking in circus, comedy and beatboxing.

hELLO TO...

• M Shed, now open, after all those years dogged by delays and cost overruns.

• Cabot Tower, open for spitting contests once more.

• Bristol Blue taxis. All the licensed Hackney cabs had to go blue by mid-2011. And right smart they look.

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• Bristol’s first residents parking zone in Kingsdown. Contrary to the jeremiads of petrolheads, the world has not ended, and the overwhelming majority of residents rather like it.

• The new Bristol Music Trust, running Bristol’s council-owned Colston Hall and briefed to develop wider participation in music in the city. But it’s not going to change the venue’s name, even though it’s named for a slave trader and Anglican bigot.

• Bristol’s Bridge Valley Road, open again after 18 months and £2m worth of repairs to stop it falling into a hole in the ground.

It’s great to be stuck in those commutingtime jams once more.

• Otters! There are otters living in Bristol’s Floating Harbour.

FAREWELL THEN...

• ‘Casualty’.

• Legendary and larger-than-life Colston Hall boss Graeme Howell.

• Dick King Smith, war hero, farmer, teacher, children’s author and all-round lovely bloke, died in January aged 88.

The best known of the children’s books he produced would have to be ‘The Sheep Pig’, which was filmed as ‘Babe’ (1995). He lived near Keynsham for most of his life.

• Speed cameras that are actually working.

• Any chance of owning a house if you’re under 40 and on less than eight million a month.

• Manhole covers, copper cabling and church roof lead.

• Jobs.

FOOLISHNESS • A group of five youngsters assembled outside the Tesco Express store in Calne, Wiltshire on the night of Tuesday 9 August, bent on some copycat looting. They proceeded to try and smash their way in, but hadn’t grasped the fact that the hoodies they’d seen on telly smashing shop windows were doing so because the shops were closed. The Calne Tesco Express, on the other hand, was still open, and as the five would-be looters were banging away at the plate glass, bemused Tesco shoppers were coming and going through the shop doors.

BEST OF 2011 COMEDY OF THE YEAR 1 Chris Cox 2 Bath Comedy Festival 3 Daniel Kitson He’s been the coming man for a while now, but this is the year when Chris Cox – scion of Backwell and selfprofessed ‘mindreader who can’t read minds’ – came of age. His brilliant new show ‘Fatal Distraction’ visited Bath’s Rondo Theatre last month and threw us into a loop. Expect great things of this boy… This year’s Bath Comedy Festival was the most polished and treat-laden yet, with standout performances from Tom Wrigglesworth, Gareth Richards, Arthur Smith, Doug Stanhope and the two Jo(h)ns, Robins and Richardson.

And Mark Olver’s new show ‘Portrait of a Serial Killer’ was darkly burrriliant.

Bronze goes to the wonderful Daniel Kitson, whose 2011 show ‘The Interminable Suicide of Gregory Crouch’ was another moving and articulate dissection of love, loneliness, fellow feeling and frailty.

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From l-r: Kalli Buchan and Gareth Pritchard get married. At KFC; Weston-superMare - not everyone likes it, apparently; some wedding or other; Champloo dancers perform 'White Caps'; and Bristol's green-minded Pomegranate Boutique

• “I think I’m scarred for life after that experience – NEVER again! Well, not unless I put on about 20 stone, get loads of tattoos, dye my hair red, take up smoking and wear the skimpiest clothes with my arse hanging out...

The whole place needs to be picked up and put further north – it would fit in better, and stop being a blot on the south western landscape.”

That was Muriel Baudin, 37, posting on Facebook after a day spent in Weston-superMare collecting for charity Help for Heroes. She didn’t realise that everyone in the world could see it and later apologised to Weston. Help for Heroes immediately disowned her comments.

BEST OF 2011 ART OF THE YEAR 1 Arnolfini, Bristol 2 Holburne Museum of Art, Bath 3 Robert Lenkiewicz exhibition RWA, Bristol/Simon Hopkinson This year’s gong must go to Arnolfini (below) or 50 years of avant-garde art and performance that’s been dazzling, baffling, infuriating, sublime and impossible. You won’t love all of their output, but no one has been programming this adventurously for this long. Not far behind, Bath’s Holburne Museum of Art re-opened with a stunning new glass extension and an exhibition for the great artist and hoarder Peter Blake. Third place is shared: an ever-more explorative RWA continued its journey with a retrospective for the brilliant painter Robert Lenkiewicz; and our discovery of the year is Bristol artist Simon Hopkinson, who demonstrates a brilliant eye for the less celebrated beauties of urban life.

LAW N ORDER • Gary Harrop broke into the Taunton home of Nicola Phillips, but, having taken 11 valium tablets beforehand, fell asleep in the conservatory. He was sentenced to 15 months after pleading guilty at Taunton Crown Court.

Wouldn’t it have been far better if the homeowner had shaved his eyebrows and written some silly things on his face and posted the lot on the web?

• Yeovil Magistrates were told how Joshua Bonehill-Paine, 18, used his Conservative Party membership card to break into Chard police station, where he took various items of police uniform as well as body-armour, handcuffs and a baton. The former public schoolboy admitted burglary and assault and got a 12-month community order to include 100hrs unpaid work and supervision by the probation service.

LOVE IN ALL ITS FORMS • Bristol couple Kalli Buchan and Gareth Pritchard held their wedding do at the Union Street branch of Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Ms Buchan’s parents, who married in 1989, apparently had their reception at McDonald’s for budgetary reasons, and now it’s started a family tradition. Maybe the recession will see more Big Fat Fat Weddings and Kentucky Brides.

• Pomegranate Boutique on Park Street, Bristol, was promoting its French Letter condoms, made from ethically sourced natural latex from sustainably managed rubber plantations in India. They are also carbonneutral.

THANKS FOR THE TWO DAYS OFF Bristol coach firms which had organised trips to London for the royal wedding found they weren’t as popular as expected. Bakers

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BEST OF 2011 DANCE EVENT OF THE YEAR 1 Champloo Dance 2 Protein Dance: ‘LOL’ ICIA, Bath 3 Rambert Theatre Royal Bath The dance award goes once again to Wilkie Branson and Joel Daniel, aka Bristol urban dance duo Champloo. After last Xmas’s beautiful children’s show ‘Boing!’, Champloo’s star continued to rise.

They’ve recently taken their multimedia epic ‘White Caps’, another Venue awardwinner, to London’s Sadler’s Wells. Not a million miles away in style and feel, Protein Dance’s ‘LOL’ at the Bath’s ICIA in February was a brilliant, witty and visually striking exploration of the Twitter/Facebook generation. A little (not much) further towards the traditional end of things, Rambert Dance Company’s latest tour saw the outfit on top form, especially with Tim Rushton’s bleak but forceful ‘Monolith’.

Dolphin and Bugler Coaches both confirmed that they had called off planned excursions, while First Great Western said there’d not been any noticeable increase in ticket bookings for the big day. In March the Evening Post had appealed to readers planning to go to town on the day to get in touch, but only one person responded.

A see-through dress designed by UWE fashion graduate Charlotte Todd and modelled by Kate Middleton at a charity fashion show in 2002 sold for £78,000 at auction in London last week. Ms Todd said she and her husband would probably use the money to help them buy a house. The dress cost £30 to make.

FOR EVEN MORE SCRUMPTIOUS GOBBETS FROM 2011, VISIT WWW.VENUE.CO.UK

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11/23/2011 4:31:43 PM

1 Mike White asks daft questions tenuously inspired by vaguely topical photographs.

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‘A Marvel of Ants’, Bence Máté’s winning entry into this year’s Wildlife Photographer of the Year competition, captured in the middle of the night in the sultry jungles of Costa Rica. But for which insectish pop act did columnist Melissa Blease reveal a lifelong adoration in last month’s Venue? a) The Bees b) Adam Ant c) The Beatles

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The riots on Stokes Croft, partly about anger at cuts, partly about Tesco steamrolling local opposition, partly about boozed-up pillocks after a ruck. But what was the name of the squat whose untimely raid helped provoke the first bout of Croftian ruckus? a) Telepathic Heights b) Telephonic Mansions c) Telly Savalas Towers

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It’s top Spanish graffer Aryz, desperately ducking the paparazzi in front of the massive painting what he just done as part of the fabulous transformation of Nelson Street from miserable boarded-up bus lane into colourful art-packed tourist hotspot. But what was the name of the big block party event thingy that launched it all to the world? a) See No Evil b) Speak No Evil c) Hear No Evil

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It’s Queen Victoria, as seen in sculpture form on Bristol’s College Green, sadly missing a few fingers.

The statue was made by a man whose untimely death in mysterious circumstances was hushed up – but why? a) He attempted to include a graphic reference to ‘Prince Alberts’ in the stonework b) He was thought to be engaging in rumpypumpy with one of the Queen’s daughters c) He deliberately employed sculptural perspective techniques to make Her Highness look shorter and fatter than she really was Those lovely golden unicorns on Bristol City Council House, off of whose proud golden buttocks the morning sun gleams each new day. Of course, their design was inspired by Bristol’s coat of arms. But what was the deciding factor when architect E Vincent Harris opted for unicorns on said roof? a) The then head of the council could just see the rooftop from his bathroom in Cliftonwood, and was a fan of unicorns b) At £2,400, they were £600 cheaper than the other option, ornamental ‘ridging’ c) The architect was an outspoken antiroyalist, and at noon each day the shadow of the unicorn’s horn appears to impale the Queen Victoria statue on the other side of College Green, right up her royal jacksie

Hammer time! No, wait. It’s Derrick Errol Evans, aka Mr Motivator, surprise star of this year’s BrisFest. But of which sporty team has our Derrick been a lifelong supporter? a) Bath Rugby – one of Britain’s oldest rugby clubs, established in 1865 by members of Lansdown Cricket Club so they’d have “something to do in the winter” b) Bristol Rovers, aka the Pirates, founded in 1883 as the rather risqué-sounding Black Arabs FC c) Bristol City – their greatest achievement was reaching the semi-finals of the FA Cup in 1994 and winning promotion to the Premier League in 2004 – although that was the women’s team

Yeah! Smoking in your underpants is unbelievably cool, as these young chaps at Bristol Pride so radiantly demonstrate. But which of these was not a preevent stunt? a) A rainbow-coloured flashmob booty-shake in Cabot Circus b) A pop-up zumba dance class with balloons c) A synchronised mass strip in Queen Square

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Lawks! What a tiny little thespy space this is. But what is it, and where? a) The Little Black Box theatre, in a converted early Victorian shop in Redland b) The Wardrobe Theatre, in a former junk room above a pub in Kingsdown c) The Old Paintshop, deep in the bowels of Bristol Old Vic

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Stupid cars, yesterday, blocking up Bristol’s roads, crashing into things, killing people and giving our children breathing problems. In a recent UWE test of commuting speeds in Bristol, bicycles were proved (yet again) to be the fastest way across town. The slowest, after buses and even some brave soul jogging, was the motor car. But just how slow was the car’s average speed? a) 7.98 mph – about as fast as a moderately peckish mouse closing in on a piece of stilton b) 5.26mph – about as fast as an overweight dachshund in lederhosen c) 4.68mph – about as fast as a drunk nun on a Sinclair C5

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Gasp! It’s golf-loving shock rocker Alice Cooper. When we interviewed Alice this year, he told us about Freak Show auditions for local performers to join him on tour. For which of these did Mr Cooper express a preference? a) Dancing with snakes b) Trained vultures who pecked at a pretend corpse c) A girl farting fire

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Big tall funny fellow John Cleese, yesterday. He came to Venueland this year on a solo tour to help pay off his money-grabbing ex-wife, who’d just fleeced him for $21m. But which of these did he not say about these 'ere parts?

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a) When we drive into Bath it’s as though something in us relaxes b) Weston is so dull it’s funny c) Bristol’s small but friendly, like a puppy with a permanent stiffy

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John Francis Bongiovi – whose first professional recording was the song ‘R2-D2 We Wish You A Merry Christmas’ for the Star Wars Christmas Album 1980 – rocks Ashton Gate this summer.

But which of these is a genuine snippet of the subsequent gig review by Venue’s roving reporter? a) ”Veterans of the UK summer outdoor touring circuit, they now wisely employ little perspex shelters to protect them from the elements on stage. This has the rather unfortunate effect of making the band look as though they’re waiting for a bus” b) “Richie Sambora – fresh out of rehab – has developed an unsettling facial tic that makes it look as though he’s winking suggestively at Jon Bon’s denim-straining buttocks” c) “As 25,000 punters yell along to ‘You Give Love a Bad Name’, some wag near the front waves a Gary Glitter flag and is swiftly lynched by those around him”

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GOT ALL THE ANSWERS THEN? EMAIL 'EM TO EDITOR@VENUE.CO.UK WITH YOUR CONTACT DETAILS. THE FIRST THREE TO DO SO BAG A LOVELY SUBSCRIPTION TO VENUE FOR THE WHOLE OF 2012.

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11/23/2011 11:06:20 AM

PIC: RICHARD CANON

Christmas crossword I

t’s mostly local. Partially topical.

Occasionally funny. Sometimes childishly easy. Frequently bloody tricky. Shamefully non-symmetrical.

It’s even got a few anagrams. Yup, it’s the annual Venue Christmas Crossword, the ideal way for you to waste a couple of hours of your precious life and maybe, just maybe, win a subscription to your favourite magazine (this one, in case you were wondering).

If you complete the crossword, rearrange the letters in yellow to form a new word and email it to editor@venue.co.uk along with your contact details. The first three correct entries randomly selected by our hungover editor will win a year’s subscription to Venue for the whole of 2012.

See 71 Across

See 88 Across

See 100 Across

Crossword compiled by Dave Higgitt. Additional jokes and anagrams added by Mike White.

ACROSS 1. Bisected nativity? Aardman’s latest (6,9) 8. A singular invasion of sculptured primates brightened up Bristol’s streets this summer (7) 12. Where’s that __? enquires a navigationally inquisitive Bristolian (2) 14. From Knight Rider to Neverland – he’s at the Hippodrome this Xmas (10) 16. Robert Plant wanted his squeezed (5) 17. Their reunion gig at this year’s Glastonbury was a different class (4) 18. ___ Loach, Bath City’s most celebrated supporter (3) 20. Woodwind which helped reap the whirlwind (4) 22. Ugly building strains the old mince pies? (7) 23. Get up in the morning for Desmond’s classic (10) 25. Cabot, Invisible, Moscow State etc. _____ (5) 26. Woman provokes Cash to take legal action? (3) 27. Moving work from Sproxton, Lord and Park (9) 30. Hinckley Point’s fuel (7) 32. One of the reasons why 1 Down ended so abruptly in 2007 (4) 33. Blind Glasto 2010 headliner’s classic 1970’s album (12) 36. A neighbourly way to check out some paintings: go on an art _____ (5) 38. United Nations computer department? A singular entity (4) 40. The food of love, according to the Bard (5) 42. Only a dummy couldn’t identify this non-prolific

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Bristol band (10) 44. Incomprehensible diagrams favoured by accountants (6) 45. Bath, Hotwells and Cheltenham have all used these over the centuries to attract tourists (4) 46. Black gold (3) 47. Welsh National _____, perennial favourites at the Hippodrome (5) 48. Euro-bashing political party (4) 51. ___ of Nails, tiny Hotwells boozer (3) 53. Gloucester rugby star Mike Tindall’s mum-in-law (4) 55. ______ ye not, exhorted Mr Howerd (6) 56. Coronation ___, legendary Clifton cider house (3) 58. Gathering ____, Bristol’s choir festival (6) 59. Rovers and City invariably seem to be worse than the ___ of their parts (3) 61. ____Film, mag published by Bath-based Future (5) 62. __ the Feeder, Down the Mouth – alfresco Bristol dockside drama from the 90s (2) 64. Herberts have made a few of these in their time (6) 65. A Native American’s favourite Bristol nightclub? (6) 66. 18th Century philanthropist – see page 16 (5) 67. ____ Bath: student footballers who reached the heady heights of the Conference South in 2008 (4) 70. Both John Terry and Tiger Woods’ ex-caddy have been accused of this recently (6) 71. There’ll be an awful of lot of this going on in East London from July 27-Aug 12 next year (9)

72. Bristol _____ Institute – Sir Ranulph Fiennes is its patron (5) 73. Nothing left in pig pen? (4) 74. Cary _____, Horfield’s finest (only?) Hollywood export (5) 75. Favourite nightclub of the Talpidae family?

76. Bristol’s most street tourist attraction this year (3,2,4) 80. Ninth letter of the Greek alphabet; brilliant Gloucester Road gift shop (4) 81. Smartarse pub quizzers, as seen on BBC2 most afternoons (8) 84. & 97. Across. Much vaunted possible new home for Bristol City (6, 4) 86. It’s raining them, according to The Weather Girls, and countless karaoke performers (3) 88. She can’t make her own bed, but that hasn’t stopped the RWA from booking her (6, 4) 90. The Last ______ - bestselling novel by Edwin O’Connor, later a film starring Spencer Tracy (6) 92. Opposite of loving (6) 96. Aka Gandalf, he wowed Bath Theatre Royal audiences in ‘The Syndicate’ recently (3, 8) 99. Ecotricity boss and Forest Green Rovers Chairman, he imposed his veggie ethics on players and fans by banning burgers at the ground (4, 5) 100. Wore a Bristol Rovers shirt when starring in Hot Fuzz, bless him (4, 5) 101. ____ Scotia, cracking harbourside boozer (4)

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DOWN 1. Much-loved Bristol event which may be returning (of sorts) next year after a five-year hiatus (6, 5, 8) 2. That Evil Stokes Croft Outlet?! (5) 3. Undergraduates Work ‘Ere! (3) 4. Owls sounding horns? Politically incorrect Bristol bar (7) 5. Steep something in liquid (6) 6. One of this new wave American band’s best songs was 76 Across (10) 7. & 41. Down. Bristol’s riotous inner city enclave (6, 5) 9. A Park Street caf to redden the cheeks? (5) 10. Sounds like shortened operations were overtaken by slim computers? (7) 11. Vine machete chopped brings success (11) 13. All Bar ___ - Corn Street watering hole (3) 15. A touch of the Deep South on Bristol’s waterfront, famed for its great live music (9) 19. Mr Jagger had a breakdown like this – the clue’s in the number (7) 21. Spielberg’s was Close, Bristol’s used to be Brief (10) 24. She didn’t want a Latin American country to shed tears for her (3) 27. Lunar impact crater on the far side of the Moon; friendly Italian on Cheltenham Road (5) 28. Aka Renatos - that legendary pizza/boozing joint on King Street (7, 4, 7)

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29. Originally fortnightly, then weekly, now monthly (5) 31. Mix magic with your alcohol at this Clifton bar (9) 34. The Port of Spain, opposite the Arnolfini? (2, 6) 35. Le _____ , Queens Road café (5) 37. Modest viewpoint? Too lazy to type, more like (4) 39. Primitive impulses, as defined by Freud (2) 41. See 7 Down 43. Crouch to enter this rent-free residence (5) 44. Hark! disgrace at this Bath gastropub (8,4) 49. Geoff Barrow’s hip record label (6) 50. Bristol TV drama, shamefully now relocated to Cardiff. Those BBC bastards should be hospitalised! (8) 52. Ashton ____, stadium of broken dreams, and Bon Jovi (4) 54. The Greeks and Italians could do with a few of these apparently (4) 57. An artform that makes you ponder most of all (10) 60. Don't fall down this Harbour Fest music stage (7) 63. An absolute gem of a local brewery (4,4) 66. ____ of the North, long since renamed north Bristol pub, famed for its odd shape and for being the setting for some scenes from The Young Ones (4) 68. His latest play was recently staged in Bath. Good grief! (4,5) 69. ____ Attack, a wild bunch of Bristol music stars (7) 71. Born in Portishead, buried in Nailsea, this

legendary Wurzel’s songs include ‘Drink Up Thy Zyder’ and ‘Champion Dung Spreader’ (4,6) 77. Bristol inner city area, a stone’s throw away from Eastville (6) 78. A potent, and abbreviated, West Country tipple (5) 79. Leather foot glove (4) 82. College ____, Bristol’s rival to the front lawn of St Pauls Cathedral (5) 83. Long defunct Bristol department store on the Triangle (7) 85. _____ Hirst – will be offering Bristol a piece of charity next summer (6) 86. Bristol’s harbourside museum (1,5) 87. Accountant’s mesh (3) 89. Jimmy Saville, Joe Frazier, Dan Wheldon, Steve Jobs, Peter Falk, Gil Scott-Heron, Seve Ballesteros, Sidney Lumet, Elizabeth Taylor, Colonel Gaddafi and about 90 million other people have met or will meet their _____ in 2011 (5) 91. Creepy black bird; proper job Bath real ale pub (5) 93. Bugger me – you are completely obsessed! (4) 94. Bristol Rovers’ old ground in Eastville was turned into one (4) 95. True ____, the Coens remake of that John Wayne western (4) 98. So, when’s the Basque terrorist going to turn up? (3)

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11/23/2011 10:54:42 AM

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11/21/2011 6:32:27 PM

The

WowFactor Mike White makes it an anniversary to remember at Thornbury Castle.

O

h, wow!” Sadie gasps. As we swing round the driveway, through an ancient stone archway and into the courtyard, my choice of anniversary-celebrating destination has clearly come up trumps. A romantic mix of late medieval castle and 19th-century mansion house, Thornbury Castle is a very special hotel indeed. It’s a place for those one-off occasions – marriage proposals, honeymoons, anniversaries – when you really want the wow factor.

A manor house stood on the site from Saxon times, and conversion into a castle was begun

by Edward, third Duke of Buckingham in 1511.

Unfortunately, Edward lost his head at Tower Hill on trumped-up treason charges, and the castle was never finished. Various royals – including Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn – enjoyed it for the magnificent country home it was, but when Mary I gave the property back to the headless Duke’s son, he could no longer afford the upkeep and the castle lapsed into picturesque ruin. It was not until the 1850s that Thornbury Castle once again became a family residence. That homely warmth remains, though there’s plenty of historic drama, too – crenellations and arrow-slits, a suit of armour standing guard in reception. Before dinner, we explore the grounds: the earliest Tudor garden in England, great shoulders of yew hedge, ancient stone walls looming on all sides. Rooks chatter in the treetops as the sun sets. Panelled halls lead to the drawing room – log fire aglow – and into the library, where whispering ladies are taking tea.

Our bedchamber’s across the courtyard, all mullioned windows, cannon-proof walls, fourposter bed. There’s a decanter of complimentary sherry on the writing desk – a nice touch. The

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Cosy Christmas Getaways 975.indd 37

second ‘wow’ of the evening is the vast bathroom.

Claw-foot tub, giant brass rain-shower, proper Thomas Crapper throne inscribed ‘The Venerable’.

Dinner is a real occasion here. We’re presented with a platter of canapés – tiny bites of wonder, every one – in the drawing room beforehand, then escorted through to the hexagonal Tower Dining Room: dark panelled walls, arrow slits, candle light. The menu is inventive, combining seasonal ingredients with rare flair. Particular highlights include an apple and celeriac soup with truffle oil; a starter of pumpkin ravioli with Bosworth Ash goats’ cheese; diver-caught scallop baked in the shell. Across six or so courses, chef Mark Veales brings near perfection – the collection of aged English beef disintegrates beautifully; a roast breast of Gressingham duck plays off magnificently against braised chicory. The puddings merit a page of praise on their own. My Granny Smith parfait is a little apple-shaped thing with blackberry purée, honeycomb and local cider sorbet; her chocolate orange fondant is dark and decadent, sharpened by orange compote.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, we’re not all that hungry come breakfast-time, though I manfully tackle Gloucester Old Spot sausages, farm cut bacon and eggs (local, organic and free-range, of course). We take one last longing look at our room – the huge four-poster now more inviting than ever – and pack our bags. A wonderful taster though it was, one night can never be enough in a place as good as this. Next time we need the wow factor, we’ll be back.

THORNBURY CASTLE THORNBURY, SOUTH GLOS, BS35 1HH, TEL: 01454 281182, WEB: WWW. THORNBURYCASTLE.CO.UK ROOMS FROM £190 FOR BED AND BREAKFAST. BOOKINGS ARE OPEN NOW FOR SPECIAL CHRISTMAS BREAKS AND THE NEW YEAR ‘BANQUET AND SLEEP’ OFFER, FROM £245 PER PERSON.

Romantic Hideaways Fiona Morrison suggests three of the West’s cosiest retreats

The Limes

Sea air, tranquillity and cosiness at this cottagey Victorian B&B and smallholding, with roaring log-burner, big garden and the seafront a bracing two-mile stroll away.

Sleeps Two per room.

Price £40-£75 per night.

THE LIMES KEN MOOR RD, KENN, CLEVEDON, BS21 6UB, TEL: 01275 342235, WEB: WWW.LIMESBB.CO.UK

Asphodel Cottage

Dating back to 1624, thatch-roofed Asphodel Cottage dozes in the Cotswold hamlet of Tarlton.

It has been lovingly restored – all exposed beams and chic furnishings – and though it might be too bijou for Cameron Diaz (as seen in recent romcom ‘The Holiday’), it has the perfect snuggle factor, with a walled garden for added romance.

Sleeps Two Price £525-£750 per week. Short breaks available.

ASPHODEL COTTAGE 49 TARLTON, GLOS, GL7 6PA, TEL: 07951 681571, WEB: WWW.ASPHODELCOTTAGE.COM

Combe Thatch Cottage

Surrounded by a private walled garden, Combe Thatch Cottage sits in a little wood in the estate of Combe Country House, a grand Elizabethan manor hotel. Expect high-end luxury in a secluded setting – for a special treat, the Combe House chef will dish up a romantic candlelit dinner just for you in the cottage.

Sleeps Two Price From £399 per night (inc breakfast).

COMBE HOUSE HOTEL GITTISHAM, HONITON, DEVON, EX14 3AD, TEL: 01404 540400, WEB: WWW. COMBEHOUSEDEVON.COM

december 2011 // 37

11/22/2011 7:11:15 PM

Film

sponsored

by

Magnificent ’11?

The good, the bad, the ugly, the hairy, the scary…

Robin Askew offers a scattergun assessment of his year at the movies.

Rising Stars Two obvious choices this year one of each gender (the po-faced Grauniad now forbids us to use the word ‘actress’, apparently). Ryan Gosling demonstrated his action man credentials in ‘Drive’, was a suave seducer in ‘Crazy, Stupid, Love’ and stole ‘The Ides of March’ from under George Clooney’s smug snout. Perennial sidekick Kristen Wiig got off to a flying start with scene-stealing creationist Ruth Buggs in ‘Paul’. She then co-wrote and starred in the funniest comedy of the year: ‘Bridesmaids’.

Falling Star That’ll be Natalie Portman. She started 2011 bagging an Oscar for ‘Black Swan’. Then it was downhill all the way as Ashton Kutcher’s f*ckbuddy in ‘No Strings Attached’ and with a gratuitous nude scene in mirthless comedy ‘Your Highness’.

Year of the Documentary Is it just us or do cinema documentaries keep getting better and better? This year’s unexpected box office hit was Senna, which achieved the near-impossible by making sport interesting, as did Fire in Babylon and TT3D. Arthouse went 3D with Pina and Cave of Forgotten Dreams.

Project Nim was the most 'A Little Bit of Heaven': 2011's biggest turkey

moving doc, Inside Job the most informative, Tabloid the funniest, Into Eternity the scariest, and Bobby Fischer Against the World the weirdest.

Worst Film So many choices, so little space.

Most irritating film would be The Future. Least mirthful comedy was Zookeeper - essentially a film about a fat bloke who falls over a lot (watch out Jack Black: your career’s heading this way). Then there’s turkey veteran Catherine Hardwicke’s risible, emo-ish Red Riding Hood, but that gave us the unintended pleasure of Amanda Seyfried wearing the Mask of Shame and Gary Oldman barking: “Lock him up in the elephant!” So the award goes to the jaw-dropping Hollywood terminal arse cancer flick A Little Bit of Heaven, in which goner Kate Hudson discovers that god is Whoopi Goldberg sitting on a white leather sofa atop a cloud.

We’re still getting over this one.

Local Heroes It’s a big ‘Welcome Back!’ to Aardman for the 3D hit Arthur Christmas. Mercifully, we won’t have to wait another six years for their next feature because The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists is out in March. While we’re at it, let’s hear it for Clevedon, which enjoyed a starring role in (and pride of place on the poster for) Never Let Me Go. An honourable mention also goes to Bristol-based Gemma Atwal for her excellent documentary, Marathon Boy. Most Unexpected Pleasant Surprise We’d written off perennial ‘star of the future’ Matthew McConaughey until the hugely enjoyable The Lincoln Lawyer came along. Runner-up: Jane Eyre. On paper yet another unpromising stab at Charlotte

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Bronte, with an unlikely director and bizarre cast. But cynicism melted away when we saw how good it was.

Silliest Nicolas Cage Performance Always a closely fought contest this, given prolific Nic’s output. First we howled with laughter at Season of the Witch (hairpiece status: shaggy), in which he transported a possessed babe to a remote monastery. Then there was the enjoyably preposterous Drive Angry (hairpiece status: blond), which saw him charging out of Hell. But neither could top home invasion flick Trespass (hairpiece status: short back’n’sides), in which he got to shout at Nicole Kidman: “Your filthy lust invited them in!”

So Bad They Made It Twice Hey, let’s make a crappy teencom with that woman from ‘Black Swan’, in which two attractive young people get together purely for sex but wind up - awww! - falling in lurrve. No, better yet - let’s make two of them with the same plot and release them within six months of one another.

Ladies and gentlemen: No Strings Attached (starring Natalie Portman) and Friends With Benefits (starring Mila Kunis).

Most Gratuitous Bathtub Sequence Hilary Swank in ‘The Resident’.

You’re all alone in a spooky, creaky new flat and you begin to suspect that you’re being watched. What do you do? Why, pile into the tub and pleasure yourself, obviously.

Most Alarming Bathtub Sequence Bill Bailey in ‘Chalet Girl’. Yes - he really is hairy all over.

Worst Casting Squeaky clean Gwyneth Paltrow as a washed-up, alcoholic country singer in ‘Country Strong’.

'True Grit': the year's best remake, no question

Best DIY Tip of the Year Girls - if you want to pass yourself off as a boy, simply fashion yourself a nice willy out of plasticine and stuff it down your pants. But don’t, whatever you do, go swimming with it in place.

Thanks to Tomboy for that one.

Best Uglying-Down as a Toothless White Trash hag Juliette Lewis in ‘Conviction’ Biological Mystery of the Year How, exactly, does EB manage to eat carrots and shit jellybeans in Hop? 3D Flop of the Year Mars Needs Moms. Budget: $150m.

US opening weekend: $8m. Cue: lots of headlines about the death of gimmicky 3D. We can but dream…

Best Demonically Possessed Red-Eyed Mule of the Year The demonically possessed red-eyed mule in The Rite Best Ken Loach Movie Not Actually Directed by Ken loach Oranges and Sunshine by Ken’s son, Jim Best Remake True Grit Worst Remake Arthur, The Thing, Straw Dogs…

Best Motion Capture Performance by Andy Sirkis Caesar in Rise of the Planet of the Apes Worst Motion Capture Performance by Andy Sirkis Captain Haddock in The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn

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11/23/2011 5:22:15 PM

UK Box Office Top Ten 2011

Words of Wisdom Choice quotes from a year’s worth of Venue film interviews.

“My head is in my hands about it.

This extraordinary division we make between language and violence and sex I find hugely disturbing…

The context of the swearwords is, (a) it was done in the 1940s and we are now in 2010, (b) it’s therapeutic, and (c) it’s not being used to describe anyone… and it’s funny!” - Tom Hooper on ‘The King’s Speech’ being given a 15 certificate by the censor.

On appeal, this was changed to 12A, with a unique line of appended ‘consumer advice’: ‘Contains strong language in a speech therapy context’.

“Usually when you make a movie, doors open. The ballet world really couldn’t care. I think they’re just very, very insular and self-involved.”

- Director Darren Aronofsky on the difficulties of making ‘Black Swan’.

One of my favourites was ‘tit burgers’. ‘Get away from me, you stupid vaginas!’ is also a good one, I think.” - Simon Pegg on coming up with novel swear words for Kristen Wiig’s scene-stealing creationist in ‘Paul’ “The character’s a cheeky little sod and so’s he. So it works really well. We saw a lot of Asian boys where just the process of swearing is tricky. Whereas it comes pretty easily to Aqib.” - Director Andy DeEmmony on casting 16-year-old Aqib Khan in ‘West Is West’ Kevin Spacey: you wouldn't want to work for him

“’Cowboys and Aliens’ seems to be the kind of movie people go to these days and I’m delighted to be involved in one of those… It was great to be outside all day on a horse. And I play a grumpy old man” - Harrison Ford works up a modicum of enthusiasm for his summer blockbuster “Why get pissed off about such things? If 10 million people watch you one night in a single show, for the same 10 million people to see you in a 1,000 seat theatre doing a play which you think is the best thing you’ve ever done, it would take ten years. It would be different if people came up to me and said, ‘You were in ‘Dad’s Army’, weren’t you?

That was crap.’” - Slapstick guest Ian Lavender on why he doesn’t get too annoyed when people shout “Stupid boy!” and “Don’t tell him, Pike!” at him.

“I cry all the time. It’s my modus operandi” - Carey Mulligan on all the blubbing in ‘Never let Me Go’

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“I think most of the trouble with religious teachings is where people with very literal-minded tendencies take literally religious writings that were supposed to be understood metaphorically. When you have the followers of a religion assuming that the founder of the religion was speaking in a way that’s as simple-minded as the way their own minds work, then I think you’ve got a recipe for disaster.” John Cleese on the evergreen ‘Life of Brian’.

“I’ve never had a horrible boss.

But I have had really remarkably stupid bosses. And that is frustrating because you think, ‘How did you get this job?’ And then you realise, ‘Oh right, you’re the son of…’” - Kevin Spacey (pictured), star of ‘Horrible Bosses’ “The moment he’s born, he’s in a cage. He’s like a guest in our world, and a guest that we don’t treat terribly well. The film starts with a baby being taken away from its mother. Not much good can come of that.” - James Marsh on Nim the chimp in ‘Project Nim’.

“Like with their Vietnam films, I think the danger is that they see it as an American tragedy. When somebody dedicates a film about the Iraq War to the American soldiers, you know that you’re going to be on the opposite side.” ‘Route Irish’ director Ken Loach on American films about the Iraq War.

“They are definitely stupid. I just wanted them to be depicted like animals in fear. I wanted you to sense the human quality, but if they became too human we couldn’t dare kill them. Suddenly the film would have a different tone.” - Director Andre Ovredal on the pleasingly lumbering and stupid trolls in his ‘Troll Hunter’.

“Children come over to me in airports and that’s how they know me. When I’m on subways in New York, the, let’s just say, lower echelons of society know me from the Chucky movies. I like to cover audiences at both ends.” - John Waters on fallout from being on ‘The Simpsons’

“I really don’t buy romance very much. I think it’s one of the things kids are least interested in, frankly.

So I never quite understand the love story element. I don’t know quite who it’s for or why it’s considered a required thing.” - Director Sarah Smith on why there’s no romance in ‘Arthur Christmas’.

// The official top ten of the year isn’t announced until, er, the end of the year.

But we can make a pretty good stab at it, with certain provisos. Our ludicrously early deadlines mean that The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 can’t be included, though it's already snapping at the heels of the chart after its big opening weekend. Happy Feet 2 and Puss In Boots are both on the horizon too.

Johnny English Reborn is also still on release and might yet overtake Tangled.

The big surprise is the success of The Inbetweeners Movie. The most pleasant surprise is the success of Bridesmaids.

And the most depressing news is the success of The Hangover Part II and Transformers: Dark of the Moon.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 £72.7m The Inbetweeners Movie £44.8m The King’s Speech £44.4m The Hangover Part II £32.8m Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides £32.8m Transformers: Dark of the Moon £27.9m Bridesmaids £22.7m Rise of the Planet of the Apes £20.5m Tangled £20.2m Johnny English Reborn £20.1m

Movie Dialogue of the Year “Sooner or later every day is like pushing an avocado through a cheese grater. You feel like you’re holding shit.” - Dustin Hoffman on Marriage in Barney’s Version “Why does everyone expect me to do that?

What am I going to learn from an ass?” Paul the alien on anal probes in Paul “I found a book on teenage paranoia during a routine search of my parents’ bedroom” Oliver Tate (Craig Roberts) in Submarine “It always pleases me to see her perform this physical act. Her ears lie back, her head cranes forward, and a mild meditative look settles on her face.” - J.R. Ackerley (Christopher Plummer) on Tulip the dog’s defecation habits in My Dog Tulip “You’re gonna give me your dong, Dale!” Jennifer Aniston gets sexually aggressive in Horrible Bosses “I’m Irish, sir - it’s part of my culture” Sergeant Gerry Boyle’s (Brendan Gleeson) wounded response on being accused of racism in The Guard.

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// THE MONTH AHEAD // My Week With Marilyn (15) // (Dir: Simon Curtis) Back in 1956, 23-year-old Oxford graduate Colin Clark got to spend a week gamboling round the English countryside with the world’s hottest sex symbol. And he certainly milked it until his death in 2002, getting two books out of his experiences. There was also a posthumous TV documentary. Simon Curtis’s BBC-backed drama stars Michelle Williams as Marilyn, who’s having a rotten time filming ‘The Prince and the Showgirl’ with nasty old Laurence Olivier (Kenneth Branagh, obviously) when her new hubby Arthur Miller (Dougray Scott) buggers off to Paris to do something important.

So young set assistant Clark (Eddie Redmayne) whisks her off to explore Blighty and - allegedly - open up about her life. The cast also includes Emma Watson in her first post-Potter role, plus the inevitable Judi Dench.

MY WEEK WITH MARILYN IS OUT ON NOVEMBER 25

The Big Year (PG) // (Dir: David Frankel, 100 mins) Together at last! Steve Martin, Jack Black and Owen Wilson are the comedian pile-up in this unlikely bird-watching comedy from the director of ‘The Devil Wears Prada’ and, um, ‘Marley and Me’. It’s adapted from Mark Obmascik’s non-fiction book ‘The Big Year: A Tale of Man, Nature and Fowl Obsession’ and has the variously crisisstricken trio embarking on a year-long contest to see who can spot the most rare birds. Wilson plays the reigning champ, while businessman Martin and layabout slob Black team up to beat him. If nothing else, this should be worth a look for its feathery cast members.

THE BIG YEAR IS OUT ON DECEMBER 2

Hugo 3D (TBC) // (Dir: Martin Scorsese) Yes - you read that correctly: Martin Scorsese really has directed a 3D family romp. Adapted from Brian Selznick’s bestseller ‘The Invention of Hugo Cabret’, it’s the tale of an orphan residing in a Paris station who teams up with a girl (the ubiquitous Chloe Moretz) to spring open a curious automaton that propels them into a fantasy adventure. The cast includes Jude Law, Sacha Baron Cohen (as the station-master), Christopher Lee and Ben Kingsley. Even co-producer Johnny Depp pops up in a cameo role.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (TBC) // (Dir: Guy Ritchie) Guy Ritchie’s first Holmes movie was comprehensively over-shadowed and out-classed by Mark Gatiss and Steven Moffat’s less flashy BBC version with Benedict Cumberpatch.

But that didn’t stop it taking more than $200m in the US, so here’s the accountant-driven sequel. Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law are back as Holmes and Watson, and this time the stakes are raised by introducing Holmes’s ultimate adversary: Professor Moriarty (Jared Harris). Stephen Fry also pops along for the pay cheque as Holmes’s brother, Mycroft. Babe duties are assumed by Noomi (‘The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo’) Rapace in her first English-language role.

HUGO 3D IS OUT ON DECEMBER 2 SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS IS OUT ON DECEMBER 16

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'Happy Feet Two 3D' - a thin concept, fully milked

November 25 // 50/50 (15) (Dir: Jonathan Levine, 100 mins) Terminal cancer is a tough sell, unless you go for the unapologetic weepie market.

Gus Van Sant’s sickeningly twee, self-consciously quirky indieflick ‘Restless’ deservedly died a death - if you’ll forgive the phrase - a couple of months back. So will anybody be interested in a raunchy comedy treatment of the subject matter? Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays a twentysomething chap who’s just been given the titular odds of survival. Seth Rogan (who else?) is his slobby buddy who sees a big opportunity to score medical marijuana and bag some sympathy sex. // The Deep Blue Sea (12A) See review on page 43. // Dream House (15) See review on page 44. // Moneyball (12A) (Dir: Bennett Miller, 133 mins) Baseball flicks generally flop in the UK, which is why the distributors are pushing this one’s ‘triumph of the underdog’ angle and casting of Brad Pitt.

He plays the manager of a lowly team who goes against all received wisdom by using a statistics-based approach to player selection, devised by nerdy economics graduate Jonah Hill (in a rare noncomedy role). It’s director Bennett Miller’s first film since ‘Capote’ six years ago.

// STILL

SHOWING //

// The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn (12A) (Dir: Steven Spielberg, 107 mins) Spielberg uses that vaguely creepy ‘performance capture’ process to deliver a blank Tintin and rather inexpressive Haddock in this frantic Herge adaptation which otherwise just about gets the job done. HHHHH // Arthur Christmas (U) (Dir: Sarah Smith, 97 mins) Aardman’s delightful CGI animation centring on the logistical problems facing the dysfunctional Santa family.

Bill Nighy steals it as Grandsanta.

HHHHH

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// Take Shelter (15) See review on page 46.

Fancy a film this month? see venue.co.uk - the new home of Venue’s what’s on listings

December 16

// Las Acacias (12A) See review on page 45. // New Year’s Eve (Dir: Garry

Marshall) If you saw last year’s ‘Valentine’s Day’ from ‘Pretty Woman’ director Garry Marshall, you’ll know the drill by now. An ensemble cast (Sarah Jessica Parker, Jessica Biel, Abigail Breslin, Zac Efron, Ashton Kutcher, Michelle Pfeiffer, Hilary Swank, Katherine Heigl, etc) undergo all kinds of soapy guff against the backdrop of the Big Day. Bob De Niro plays a goner, and Jon Bon Jovi gets slapped (twice), which many may find additionally satisfying.

Coming soon: ‘Mayday’, in which an all-star cast send out a distress call while drowning in seasonal treacle.

(Not really.) // Another Earth (12A) See review on page 43. // Mysteries of Lisbon (PG) See review on page 46. // Puss In Boots 3D (U) See review on page 45. // A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas (18) (pictured right) (Dir: Todd Strauss-Schulson, 90 mins) Having collected the ‘ethnic stoner’ baton from Cheech and Chong, John Cho (Harold) and Kal Penn (Kumar) continue to run with it. Their third film is a New Yorkset festive pothead adventure in which they manage to slay Santa and - surprise! - smoke a lot of weed while seeking a replacement for the Christmas tree they burned down. The trailer suggests they’ll also be taking the piss out of the 3D fad.

// Surviving Life (15) See review on page 46. // The Story of Lover’s Rock (12A) (Dir: Menelik Shabazz, 101 mins) Back at the Watershed for a week-long run after its premiere a couple of months’ back, this is Menelik Shabazz’s affectionate, misty-eyed celebration of the largely forgotten, MORish ‘70s musical subgenre, also known as ‘romantic reggae’, which fused soft reggae beats with soul.

A treat for anyone who remembers the likes of Louisa Marks or Janet Kay. // Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked 3D (Dir: Mike Mitchell) Third outing for the hugely annoying yet inexplicably popular crooning rodents. This time they’re on a cruise when they get ‘chipwrecked’. D’ya see what they did there?

Squeaky song’n’dance routines presumably ensue, as usual.

// The Awakening (15) (Dir: Nick Murphy, 107 mins) Rebecca Hall stars in a spookily effective period ghost story rooted in genuine trauma.

HHHHH // Contagion (12A) (Dir: Steven Soderbergh, 106 mins) Old-skool, allstar, multi-stranded disaster movie in which a global pandemic threatens to polish off mankind. HHHHH // The Help (12A) (Dir: Tate Taylor, 146 mins) Overlong, politically timid period Deep South drama in which black maids achieve liberation through the intervention of whitey, in the comely liberal form of Emma Stone. HHHHH //The Ides of March (15) (Dir: George Clooney, 101 mins) George Clooney directs and stars in an intelligent drama about Democrat politics, though Ryan Gosling steals it as the

candidate’s press agent. HHHHH // Immortals (15) (Dir Tarsem Signh, 111 mins) Handsomely staged, enjoyably daft ‘Clash of the Titans’style romp from the director of ‘The Fall’, with Mickey Rourke as King Hyperion. // In Time (12A) (Dir: Andrew Niccol, 109 mins) Justin Timberlake and Amanda Seyfried star in a variation on the ‘Logan’s Run’ format: in the future, you cark it at 25 unless you can pay for more time. // Johnny English Reborn (PG) (Dir: Oliver Parker, 101 mins) Rowan Atkinson pulls his rubber face again in a feeble spy spoof sequel and is rewarded with another chart topper.

No accounting for taste. // The Lion King 3D (U) (Dir: Roger Allers and Rob Minkoff, 89 mins) Uncle Walt milks more loot from his

1994 hit with a 3D makeover. ‘Beauty and the Beast’ is up next on Jan 20.

HHHHH // Paranormal Activity 3 (15) (Dir: Henry Joost & Ariel Schulman, 84 mins) The directors of ‘Catfish’ take over for the third instalment of surveillance cam spookery. // The Rum Diary (15) (Dir: Bruce Robinson, 120 mins) Johnny Depp stars in Bruce Robinson’s troubled adaptation of Hunter S. Thompson’s first novel. // Tower Heist (12A) (Dir: Brett Ratner, 104 mins) Eddie Murphy and Ben Stiller decide to get their own back on tycoon swindler Alan Alda, who made off with their pensions. It’s amusing enough, but not as funny as the furore engulfing director Brett Ratner following some ill-judged interview comments.

December 2 // Robert Mugabe… What Happened? (18) (Dir: Simon Bright, 82 mins) Following its sold-out premiere at last month’s Afrika Eye festival, local director Simon Bright’s documentary about Mugabe’s 30 years in power returns to the Watershed for a week-long run. Simon will be present for a Q&A after the 8.10pm screening on Fri 2 Dec. // Happy Feet Two 3D (U) (Dir: George Miller, 103 mins) Once upon a time, cute animated penguins hoofing to bad hip-hop music would have made a mildly amusing three-minute YouTube clip. Warners have now milked two films from the thin concept of terpsichorean flightless birds, which deserves some kind of grudging respect. Need one add that it’s in 3D? // Romantics Anonymous (12A) See review on page 44. // The Thing (15) See review on page 44. // We Have a Pope (PG) See review on page 45.

December 9

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// REVIEWS //

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On a clear day, she could see parallel imperialist and religious wars being fought

Review

Another Earth (12A) USA 2011 92 mins Dir: Mike Cahill Starring: Brit Marling, William Mapother // Things the movies tell us, part 94. When a mysterious planet appears in the sky, attractive young blonde women are compelled to remove all their clothes and bathe in the glow of its reflected light. Kirsten Dunst did it in ‘Melancholia’ and now Brit Marling does it in ‘Another Earth’, so this must be true. An ultra-lowbudget indie flick trading in Big Ideas, Mike Cahill’s feature debut was the unexpected hit of this year’s Sundance Film Festival. That should be sufficient to alert the wary not to expect too much in the

way of exploration of its intriguing ‘parallel earth’ theme, which takes a back seat to more standard-issue Sundance low-key grief and guilt fare.

Teenager Rhoda Williams (Marling) has just got into MIT and is drunkenly driving home after a celebration with her chums. The radio is filled with chatter about a strange new planet that is about to become visible in the night sky.

Craning her head to take a look, she smashes into another car, leaving its driver, celebrated composer John Burroughs (Mapother), in a coma and killing his pregnant wife and child. Four years later, she emerges from the slammer still consumed by guilt and takes

a lowly job as a cleaner. In the meantime, it has become apparent that the new planet is a perfect replica of the earth. This has prompted much parallel universe theorising, existential angst, talk radio blather, and nutters going round in tinfoil helmets. But ‘Another Earth’ is less concerned with science and speculation than it is with Rhoda’s befriending of the now-dishevelled, grief-stricken John, without disclosing who she is.

In the background lies the alluring proximity of another life in which that devastating split-second mistake might not have been made.

With its woozy, ‘Solaris’-esque vibe, ‘Another Earth’ puts a vaguely science-y spin on the ‘what if?’

genre, which reached its apogee with ‘Sliding Doors’. The film seems to step up a gear when Rhoda enters an essay competition to win a place on the first space flight to ‘Earth 2’, but you may be disappointed by the self-consciously enigmatic ending. That said, Cahill achieves wonders on his minuscule budget, making creative use of his hometown locations and sparing if striking digital effects - including that wonderful image of a duplicate earth hanging in the sky, pregnant with possibility. (Robin Askew) HHHHH Website www.foxsearchlight.com/ anotherearth/ Opens: December 9

Review The Deep Blue Sea(12A) UK 2011 98 mins Dir: Terence Davies Starring: Rachel Weisz, Tom Hiddleston, Simon Russell Beale // Terence Davies has been anointed a National Cinematic Treasure for so long that it feels vaguely heretical to confess to not liking any of his films. So if you’re a convert to Davies’s lush style and enjoy wallowing in those meticulously dressed 50s sets, ignore this review and scamper along to see his adapta-

tion of Terence Rattigan’s ‘Brief Encounter’-esque stage staple. But if you’re unfamiliar with Davies or the play, be warned that you may find it stiff, dated and frequently over-orchestrated, with almost parodic dialogue and a profoundly unsympathetic lead character.

Rather like Davies’s previous dramatic feature adaptation, his funereally slow bash at Edith Wharton’s ‘The House of Mirth’ back in 2000, ‘The Deep Blue Sea’ centres on the downfall of

“Blimey - it’s not just your upper lip that’s stiffening!”

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a lady toff, though this time it’s love rather than gambling debts that proves to be her undoing.

We first meet miserable Hester, aka Lady Collyer (Weisz), as she prepares to do a Sylvia Plath in a rather grim London boarding house, accompanied by a screeching violin score (Samuel Barber’s Violin Concerto, fact fans). Flashbacks then reveal her memories of how she got to this point. Stuck in a passionless marriage to doting, beardy high court judge Sir William Collyer (Beale), Hester falls for dashing Battle of Britain veteran (“I was doing something important for dear old Blighty, old fruit”) Freddie Paige (Hiddleston). Abandoning hubby and sacrificing her social privileges, she shacks up with Paige. Alas, the brute doesn’t reciprocate her feelings and would rather be off carousing or golfing with the lads.

Davies’s fetishising of period

detail will delight fans of his ‘The Long Day Closes’ and ‘Distant Voices, Still Lives’, but it’s perhaps telling that the most tart scene is one he invented for the film, in which Hester takes tea with Collyer’s frightful old bat of a mother, who warns her of the dangers of passion. For the rest of the film, she spends an awful lot of time staring glumly out of windows and chainsmoking, while Davies’s camera caresses her fug like a slavering David Hockney. Weisz gives it her all, but the stately pacing affords plenty of time to reflect on why we are being invited to care about a needy, self-indulgent drama queen who decides to top herself because her bloke spends too long in the pub. (Robin Askew) HHHHH Website www.facebook.com/ TheDeepBlueSeaFilm Opens: November 25

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Review Dream House (15) USA 2011 92 mins Dir: Jim Sheridan Starring: Daniel Craig, Rachel Weisz, Naomi Watts, Marton Csokas // Crikey - the director of ‘My Left Foot’ and ‘In the Name of the Father’ bags an A-list cast, including James Bond himself. This you’ve got to see, right? Oh dear, it’s a schlocky, preposterous psychological/supernatural potboiler, whose main twist is not only heavily telegraphed but given away explicitly in the trailer.

If you’re familiar with a certain enjoyably noirish recent blockbuster from a big-name director, with a global superstar in the lead role, you’ll know exactly what’s going on here.

Will Atenton (Craig) quits his big city publishing job to spend more time with his family - lovely spouse Libby (Weisz) and two perfect daughters - in their snow-covered chocolate box dream house in the country.

Thankfully, the genre means that something nasty is going to happen before we all have the uncontrollable urge to vomit. The couple soon find evidence of a family who lived here before them, but all the locals seem shifty and unhelpful, especially neighbour Ann Patterson (Watts).

It then emerges that their beautiful abode was the scene of an ‘orrible murder, when a hubby slaughtered his wife and kids. What’s more, he’s just got out of the nuthouse!

Review The Thing (15) USA 2011 103 mins Dir: Matthijs van Heijningen Jr Starring: Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Ulrich Thomsen // You can’t help fearing that ‘The Thing’ is likely to go the way of the similarly themed ‘Invasion of the Bodysnatchers’: a classic science fiction story that spawns a couple of inventive adaptations and is then recapitulated pointlessly until we wind up with a really useless version starring Daniel Craig and Nicole Kidman. The producers of this latest Thing went on record to state that remaking John Carpenter’s 1982 film would be like “painting eyebrows on the Mona Lisa”, which was why they’d

elected to come up with a prequel. In the hands of Dutch first-time feature director Matthijs van Heijningen Jr and screenwriter Eric Heisserer (‘Final Destination 5’, the ‘Nightmare on Elm Street’ remake), however, it comes across like a hybrid of the Carpenter film and ‘Alien’, bringing absolutely nothing new to the table apart from a bunch of shrieking tentacled CGI monsters and production line squishy body horror to meet the expectations of the modern teenage/moron/American audience.

Gone is the suspense and character that drove the Carpenter film, as well as the Cold War paranoia of the 1951 version of John W. Campbell’s short

by

Daniel decided to have a word with the bloke who installed the woodburner

The Bloody Obvious Twist follows 40 minutes in, after which the film has nothing left to do but get sillier and sillier until we’re left with Craig, ghosts and bad guys running round hysterically in a burning house.

There’s an awful lot of slumming talent on display here, though one fears that by invoking ‘The Shining’ (Atenton is an aspiring author)

writer David Loucka imagined he was creating something classy.

Weisz and Craig got a marriage out of this, which was nice. But it’s hard to imagine anyone else finding it quite so memorable. (Robin Askew) HHHHH Website www.dreamhousemovie.net/ Opens: November 25

“You’re right - these cockroaches are definitely getting out of control!”

story ‘Who Goes There?’

Set on a Norwegian Antarctic research station in the days before the events of Carpenter’s film, this ‘Thing’ introduces Ripleyesque palaeontologist Kate Lloyd (Winstead), who’s summoned to investigate the frozen beast disgorged by an alien ship that crashed into the ice millennia ago. Ace Danish thesp Ulrich Thomsen (him from ‘Festen’) plays the arrogant Norwegian boffin

who insists on taking a tissue sample against Lloyd’s advice, unleashing the malevolent mimicking space critter. Much generic running about and flamethrower-wielding action ensues as under-written characters eye one another suspiciously in dark corridors and frozen wastes. (Robin Askew) HHHHH Website www.thethingmovie.net/ Opens: December 2

Review Romantics Anonymous (12A) “Do I really have to give another sample right now?”

France/Belgium 2010 78 mins Subtitles Dir: Jean-Pierre Ameris Starring: Benoit Poelvoorde, Isabelle Carre // You know exactly what you’re getting with a chocolate-themed romcom, both from the product itself and from the reviewer, who will be unable to resist the word ‘confection’ and descriptions ranging from ‘sickly-

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sweet’ to ‘bittersweet’. On the sugar rush spectrum, this Gallic putative charmer is closer to ‘Chocolat’ than ‘Like Water for Chocolate’, exceeding internationally agreed whimsy thresholds on several occasions, and even breaking into regrettable song’n’dance interludes. Against that, it’s nicely played by the two leads, and at less than 80 minutes is insufficiently calorific to fuel binge and vomit shame.

Angelique Delange (Carre) is a mousy, lonely thirtysomething spinster who’s scared of, well, everything really and attends an ‘Emotions Anonymous’ self-help group. Jean-Rene Van Den Hugde

(Poelvoorde) is the socially awkward owner of The Chocolate Mill - a small chocolate factory on the verge of bankruptcy. He has regular sessions with a psychiatrist in an attempt to overcome his fear of intimacy. When Angelique applies for a job at the Chocolate Mill, Jean-Rene is instantly smitten and hires her on the spot.

A series of challenges set by his shrink sparks the inevitable romance between these two achingly anxious souls. But what Jean-Rene doesn’t know is that Angelique is the secretive Chocolate Hermit, who whips up the world’s most delicious chocolate but shuns all publicity.

If you’re cringing already, this is

not the film for you. But at least the timid twosome aren’t repellently cute, and there’s a terrific if all-too-brief explanatory cameo by Christiane Millet as Angelique’s mum. Writer/ director Jean-Pierre Ameris, who suffers from social anxiety syndrome himself, also delivers some fine setpieces, including a magnificently awkward restaurant scene and a great moment where Angelique waffles on presumptuously about marriage and children, causing Jean-Rene to flee in terror. (Robin Askew) HHHHH Website en.unifrance.org/ movie/31471/romantics-anonymous Opens: December 2

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Review We Have a Pope (PG) Review Las Acacias (12A) “So tell me, when did you start having these feelings of infallibility?”

Italy/France 2011 105 mins Subtitles Dir: Nanni Moretti Starring: Michel Piccoli, Jerzy Stuhr, Nanni Moretti // For years, Nanni Moretti has been referred to as “the Italian Woody Allen” with precious little evidence to support this contention, unless Allen’s boring Bergman period is being invoked. The solipsistic likes of ‘Dear Diary’ and ‘Aprile’ had little appeal beyond the beard-stroking demographic. But here at last is a comedy worthy of the comparison, though it’s rather odd that he should lurch from deep introspection to such a lightweight farce that starts out as ‘The Pope’s Speech’, shifts into a Papal ‘After Hours’ and then loses its grip entirely.

The promising set-up has crusty cardinals gathering in conclave to elect a new Pope, each candidate privately praying

“Not me, Lord, not me!” When compromise choice Melville (Piccoli) is revealed, the shocked old boy suffers a breakdown and refuses to address the waiting faithful. A doctor pronounces him well, so the potty Pontiff’s spokesman (Stuhr) reluctantly summons an atheist psychoanalyst (Moretti). After he fails to make any headway under strict theological restrictions, the new Pope scarpers and the Vatican is placed on lockdown.

Piccoli gives a charming performance as the Pope who fears he’s not up to the job and explores what his life might have been like if he’d pursued early thespian ambitions. But the third act stumbles badly as the shrink trapped inside the Vatican resorts to teaching the old geezers how to play volleyball.

There’s no mention of kiddyfiddling or any of the other scandals afflicting the Catholic Church because Moretti says this isn’t the film he wanted to make. That’s fair enough, but his satire is so toothless that, given the Church’s troubles, it’s hard to imagine any hackles being raised at the depiction of cardinals as lovable, bumbling buffers in silly costumes. (Robin Askew) HHHHH Website www.habemuspapam.it/ Opens: December 2

Review Puss In Boots (U) USA 2011 90 mins Dir: Chris Miller Starring (voices): Antonio Banderas, Salma Hayek, Zach Galifianakis, Billy Bob Thornton, Amy Sedaris // The story so far: ‘Shrek’ was smart and funny; ‘Shrek 2’ less smart and less funny, with crappy songs and pop culture references; ‘Shrek the Third’ was bloody awful, feebly plundering Arthurian legend for inspiration; and ‘Shrek Forever After’ recovered a bit of lost ground with a faintly desperate alternate timeline reboot. Where next? Why, a modish spin-off origin story, of course. So Antonio Banderas’s suave, swordfighting Gato Diablo gets his

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own movie, whose five (count ‘em!) credited writers seem to have been working to two primary imperatives: chuck in as much relentless, perspective-stretching action as possible before the 3D golden goose dries up, and incorporate any spare out-ofcopyright fairytales that haven’t been exploited so far, including, er, the golden goose.

The result just about gets the job done even if it feels rather bolted together, with an inevitable Zorro in-joke, the usual pointless adult references (enjoy explaining the ‘Fight Club’ and glaucoma gags to your kids, parents!) and two kitty dance routines cut to Rodrigo y Gabriela foot-tappers

“There no dialogue for this scene either, so let’s just stare at each other”

Argentina/Spain 2011 86 mins Subtitles Dir: Pablo Giorgelli Starring: German de Silva, Hebe Durate // An incident-free road movie that won its Argentinean director the Camera D’Or at Cannes, the slight, slow, dialogue-lite ‘Las Acacias’ contains so many lengthy scenes of driving along in silence that the uncharmed may begin to wonder whether they’re experiencing the lengthy journey from rural Paraguay to Buenos Aires in real time.

We first meet stubbly, taciturn, middle-aged trucker Ruben (veteran character actor German de Silva) as he collects a load of lumber in Paraguay and sets out on the journey south. Along the way, he stops to pick up a young woman (Durate), apparently by prior arrangement.

What he clearly wasn’t expecting was that she’d be accompanied by a five-month-old child. Ruben is obviously a solitary type who would much rather be making the trip alone. He’s also uncomfortable with small talk. It takes 30 screen minutes

before he asks his companion her name. Turns out she’s called Jacinta, her sister works for Ruben’s boss, and she’s heading to Buenos Aires to visit her cousins. And whaddaya know?

As the journey continues and they’re mistaken for a family, bonding begins to occur and we learn just a teensy bit more about their damaged lives. Ruben seems to regret the impact of his peripatetic lifestyle on his relationship with his nowestranged son, while Jacinta reveals that her sprog “has no father”.

This is all nicely played if somewhat predictable and very sedately paced, and is probably best appreciated by connoisseurs of gurgling nippers and the arthouse cinema of very little happening. If nothing else, it suggests that lauded veteran Iranian director Abbas Kiarostami now has some serious competition when it comes to his trademark exceedingly long takes recorded inside moving vehicles.

(Robin Askew) HHHHH Website www.vervepics.com/lasacacias Opens: December 9

Puss challenged the vet to take a step closer with his castrating pliers

(‘Diablo Rojo’ and ‘Hanuman’, fact fans). Story-wise, outlaw Puss (Banderas) re-teams with duplicitous bad egg Humpty Alexander Dumpty (Galifianakis), his childhood chum from the orphanage, on a mission to steal the magic beans from murderous outlaws Jack (Thornton) and Jill (Sedaris) so they can bag the goose that lays the golden eggs.

Humpty’s new sidekick is hot pussy Kitty Softpaws (Hayek, in her fifth

collaboration with Banderas), offering the promiscuous tomcat some chaste love interest. There’s also the usual big lame DreamWorks animated message about being true to yourself, doing the right thing, prizing friendship over greed, and all that other wholesome guff nobody in Hollywood actually believes. (Robin Askew) HHHHH Website www.pussinbootsthemovie.com/ Opens: December 9

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Film

sponsored

Review Take Shelter (15) USA 2011 121 mins Dir: Jeff Nicholls Starring: Michael Shannon, Jessica Chastain // Imagine the first act of an M. Night Shyamalan movie - ‘The Happening’, say - stretched out to two hours and given an indie makeover. So we still get all the spooky portents such as ominous skies and animals behaving oddly. But this time the focus is on whether the protagonist whose apocalyptic visions and doomsaying nobody believes is actually bonkers after all. That’s ‘Take Shelter’ in a nutshell. Something of a companion piece to ‘Another Earth’, Jeff Nicholls’ Cannes and Sundance award-winner

makes sparing use of effective digital effects as it puts a human scale on a genre that is usually the preserve of the expensive blockbuster filled with two-dimensional characters.

Michael Shannon gives a riveting performance as blue-collar schmo Curtis LaForche, who scrapes by in rural Ohio with his loving wife Samantha (the suddenly ubiquitous Jessica Chastain) and their deaf six-year-old nipper. But troubled Curtis is plagued by nightmares and daytime visions of impending disaster. Determined to protect his family, he becomes obsessed with renovating an old storm shelter, spending money he can ill-afford and

by

“Uh-oh - looks like a storm of Biblical proportions!”

endangering both his marriage and job. Along the way, we learn that his mother was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia at the age of 30. This muddies the waters and causes Curtis to join everyone else in doubting his sanity.

‘Take Shelter’ will have disaster movie fans drumming their fingers impatiently as they wait for the space aliens/tsunami/giant meteorite to show up. Nicholls certainly seems unsure which ending to deliver. In

some respects, this is reminiscent of Todd Haynes’s over-praised ‘Safe’ in its attempt to encapsulate modern anxieties, but Shannon’s anguished performance as the unravelling Curtis and Nicholls’ deft handling of mounting dread prove more engaging than the continuous whining of that film. (Robin Askew) HHHHH

When things calm down a bit, it’s revealed that this is a dream enjoyed by an unprepossessing middle-aged gent named Eugene (Helsus) in which he falls for a receptive, vivacious young woman (Issova) who’s a lot sexier than his dour wife (Kronerova). Naturally, he’s eager to return to this erotic dreamworld, but his GP suggests he needs psychoanalysis rather than sleep-inducing medication. So as Eugene pops in and out of the land of nod, where Ms Sexy always has a different name beginning with the letter E and is occasionally equipped with a husband (Helsus in a wig) and/or a young son, increasingly

alarmed shrink Dr Holubova (Bakerova) attempts to decode the meaning of his encounters.

Meanwhile, the portraits of Freud and Jung above her desk listen intently and occasionally slug it out.

This is all highly entertaining and, for all its surrealism, oddly moving as matters take a predictable turn for the Oedipal. And who couldn’t admire a film in which the protagonist’s super-ego manifests itself as a halitosis-ridden old hag?

(Robin Askew) HHHHH

Website www.sonyclassics.com/ takeshelter/ Opens: November 25

Review Surviving Life (15) The eggs were great, but the hen houses were proving ruinously expensive

Czech Republic 2010 109 mins Subtitles Dir: Jan Svankmajer Starring: Vaclav Helsus, Klara Issova, Zuzana Kronerova, Daniela Bakerova, Emilia Dosekova // Five years on from ‘Lunacy’, his fabulous “infantile tribute” to Edgar

Allen Poe, the great septuagenarian Czech animator and surrealist Jan Svankmajer returns in a more jovial mood than usual with what he describes in his intro as a “psychoanalytical comedy”. The droll director insists that his decision to use stop-motion animated paper cut-outs interspersed with close-ups of actors is “not a formal experiment, just a poor substitute for a live-action film” because he has no money. Within the first five minutes, we’re hit with a barrage of giant fruit, Gilliam-esque buildings with feet, teddy bears with erections, and a naked woman with a chicken’s head.

Website www.bontonfilm.cz/prezitsvuj-zivot.html Opens: December 16

Review Mysteries of Lisbon (PG) Portugal/France 2010 266 mins Subtitles Dir: Raoul Ruiz Starring: Adriano Luz, Maria Joao Bastos, Ricardo Pereira, Jose Alfonso Pimentel, Joao Arrais // That’s no misprint. This epic Portuguese costume drama really is just shy of four-and-a-half hours long. High-minded Chilean-born director Raoul Ruiz has form in this department. ‘Time Regained’, his mostly impenetrable adaptation of Proust’s ‘A la Recherche du Temps Perdu’, ran to nearly three hours. He clearly imagines this handsomely staged adaptation of a forgotten mid-19th century Portuguese novel

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to be Shakespearean in nature.

But it feels more like six episodes of a soapy TV miniseries stapled together. And that’s exactly what it is. If you’ve got the arse cushion for it, and are prepared to accept contrivances and coincidences that are cheekily excused by the protagonists as being the kind of thing that no one would believe if they happened in drama, then you may find all the dual identities, ripe dialogue and absurd plot twists preposterously entertaining.

It begins with a parentage revelation as bullied, pint-sized bastard Pedro (Arrais, later Pimnentel) is informed by his guardian, Father

Dinis (Luz), that his mother is the Countess of Santa Barbara (Bastos).

Turns out she’s been imprisoned in the gothic castle on the hill by the evil Count, who’s carrying on with a serving wench. Extended flashbacks then reveal the circumstances in which Pedro was born, introduce a wrong ‘un named Knife-Face (Pereira), who’ll pop up again in a radically different guise, and eventually tie up most of the loose ends.

Elegant it ain’t; one major character simply disappears and is later said to have perished of cholera.

There’s plenty of intrigue along the way, plus a couple of fancy balls and a duel. Anyone who lasts the

course without dissolving into fits of giggles deserves some kind of arthouse solemnity award. (Robin Askew) HHHHH Website mysteriesoflisbon.com/ Opens: December 9

“Whaddaya mean my hat’s sillier than your hairdo?!”

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Film

www.venue.co.uk/subs 0117 934 3741 SUBSCRIBE TO THE NEW MONTHLY VENUE – JUST £2.99

For film listings and more reviews visit venue.co.uk/film

CINecisms

Palestine Film Fest … Ukeleles … Chocolate tastings …

Christmas specials

J

a preview of Romantics Anonymous (reviewed on page 44) with a chocolate tasting on Nov 29 … ‘The King’s Speech’ producer Iain Canning is back at the Watershed on Dec 9 for a Q&A after a preview of Steve McQueen’s Shame.

And on Dec 2, the ‘shed hosts a screening of the grand Carpathian romance Shadows of Forgotten Ancestors, with a new score by folk duo A Hawk and a Hacksaw … Arty live digital screenings this month include Sleeping Beauty (Dec 15) from the Royal Opera House, Faust (Dec 10) from the Met Opera and John Hodge’s new play, Collaborators (Dec 1), from the National Theatre … Anyone who’s ever yearned to see a stand-up

ust when you thought the film festival season was winding down, along comes the inaugural Bristol Palestine Film Festival (Dec 1-10), with screenings at the Watershed, Arnolfini, Cube and Hamilton House. Guest speakers include Ken Loach and Leila Sansour (pictured). Of particular local note is the Football Against the Wall event at the Cube on Dec 8, featuring Bristol’s very own Easton Cowboys. See www. bristolpff.org.uk/ for more …

Over at Bath’s Little Theatre, new documentary Mighty Uke (Dec 2) celebrates the rise of the ukelele (no, really) and is screened with a live performance and “audience strum-along”. The Little also has

BOX OFFICE

bUMS ON SEATS

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Film Box Office DVDs Cinecism 975.indd 48

Takings for the weekend of November 18-20

1

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 £13,910,877

6

Tower Heist

£411,888 (£3,711,355, 3 weeks)

(new release)

2

Arthur Christmas

£2,317,963 (5,018,421, 2 weeks)

7

Justice

£276,483 (new release)

3

8

£988,578 (£14,095,718, 4 weeks)

£256,828 (£20,132,828, 7 weeks)

The Adventures of Tintin...

Chart copyright Screen International

// No surprises as The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 (pictured) seizes the top spot with a series’ best opening weekend of £13.9m. According to the number crunchers, it now boasts the “biggest non-3D opening Friday figure of all time”. Woo and, furthermore, hoo!

Aardman’s Arthur Christmas held steady at number two for the second week, but actually increased its takings by 10%, which bodes well for a long run in the chart. Spielberg’s The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn, by contrast, is fading fast.

That must be particularly worrying for Paramount as it was expected to do most of its business outside the US. Nobody’s heard of Tintin in America and the film doesn’t open there for a few weeks. Despite all the hype, Andrea Arnold’s Wuthering Heights doesn’t seem to be making much of an impression with the arthouse crowd, having taken just £350,000 in two weeks.

By contrast, We Need to Talk About Kevin has now hauled in £1.6m.

comedy performance in 3D should trot along to Lee Evans: Roadrunner Live at the O2 (Nov 27) … Of course, December also brings the religious festival marking the birth of the Baby Santa, who gave us the inspiring doctrine of consumerism. The Little Theatre celebrates in traditional style with It’s a Wonderful Life (Dec 9 & 24), while the Cube has both Meet Me in St Louis (Dec 19 & 20) and The Snowman (Dec 21 & 22). But in case you fear they’ve gone soft, they’re also showing Christmas Evil (Dec 16), in which a traumatised, disillusioned Santa goes psycho.

Marvellous.

4

Immortals

£950,230 (£4,309,798, 2 weeks)

5

In Time

£453,958 (£4,505,207, 3 weeks)

Johnny English Reborn

9

The Rum Diary

£230,740 (£1,202,074, 2 weeks)

10

The Ides of March

£180,692 (£2,574,632, 4 weeks)

// DVDs // Rise of the Planet of the Apes (12) // Brit director Rupert Wyatt’s excellent origin story takes advantage of advances in digital technology and another brilliant ‘performance capture’ turn by Andy Serkis to serve up some extraordinary apes and comparatively twodimensional humans. The story adapts the mad scientist template to have boffin James Franco developing an Alzheimer’s cure for an Evil Corporation, which he tests on unfortunate little Caesar (Serkis)… Out: Dec 12 HHHHH

ALSO RELEASED // Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (12) HHHHH After all the foreplay of Part 1, it’s time for some serious wand action as the most successful series in box office history reaches a satisfactory conclusion, with plenty of revelations and bizarre snogging interludes at moments of maximum peril. Out: Dec 2 … The Inbetweeners Movie (15) HHHHH The unexpected box office hit of the summer now becomes the DVD most likely to wind up in sex-starved teenage boys’ sticky stockings. Out: Dec 12 … Super 8 (12) HHHHH Abrams/Spielberg space alien mash-up, with menacing tentacles and saccharine nostalgia. Out: Dec 12 …

Sarah’s Key (12) HHHHH Kristin Scott Thomas stars in an impeccably solemn fictional drama set against the real-life backdrop of the July 1942 Vel’ d’Hiv round up by French police of 13,000 Jews, and its modern-day ramifications. Out: Nov 28 … TT: Closer to the Edge (15) HHHHH Surprisingly engaging documentary about the Isle of Man TT, focusing on lovable maverick outsider Guy Martin rather than the boring champ. Out: Nov 28 … Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon (12) HHHHH Loud, stupid, boring: another Michael Bay ‘Transformers’ movie, in other words. Out: Nov 28 …

The Hangover Part 2 (15) HHHHH More a recapitulation than a sequel, this follow-up to the comedy hit has the same shit happening to the same guys all over again. Out: Dec 5 … Captain America: The First Avenger (12) HHHHH This month’s crappy comicbook adaptation, anyone? Out: Dec 5.

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clstickets.co.uk Indoor Christmas Market Saturday 26th & Sunday 27th November Bristol Winter Cider Festival Friday

27th January, 2012 - 7.30pm -11pm Venue: Brunels Passenger Shed, Temple Meads, Bristol BS1 6QH. Tickets £7.00 in advance; £8.00 on the door. Any unsold tickets will be made available on the door - but buying your tickets in advance is highly recommended as this sold out last year. Tickets on sale now.

Bristol winter Cider Festival Saturday 28th january, 2012 Daytime session 11am-4pm

Venue: Brunels Passenger Shed, Approach Temple Meads, Bristol BS1 6QH. Tickets £7.00 in advance; £8.00 on the door.

Any unsold tickets will be made Available on the door but buying your tickets in advance is highly recommended as this sold out last year. Tickets on sale now.

New Years Eve Party

Featuring Bobby Paul as Elton John, plus disco and as much as you can eat buffet

Saturday 31st December ‘Unique Christmas Cider’ for more info visit www.cideronline.co.uk For tickets: www.clstickets.co.uk or 01225 330 304

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Music Just like '11 Explosive blues, heart-wringing fado, the return of Bristol Folk Festival and the sound of a solitary pen falling to the floor – that’ll be another eclectic year in music round these parts, then.

ROCK Potentially the biggest news of 2011 concerned something that used to happen rather a lot and might yet happen again: the Ashton Court Festival. Back in April, BrisFest – the event that swiftly hove into view following the original’s 2007 demise – announced a pledge: that if 10,000 people bought a fully refundable £30 ticket, 2012 would see a return to sunlit uplands. Added your name yet? You’ve got ’til year’s end to pledge via www.brisfest.co.uk.

Biggest definite festival news was the April return, following a 32-year absence, of the Bristol Folk Festival – see Roots review for more. Meantime, September saw BrisFest continue its massedstaging of local pride, while a slimmed-down Harbour Fest actually worked rather well; the grass of Queen Square, after all, being a much more conducive place for sprawled relaxation than the concrete amphitheatre.

2011, alas, saw Metropolis’s staging of music and comedy whittled down to nothing. Real shame, that, for the programming was strong – if infrequent – and the city hardly runneth over with decent-sized venues. Nor with pubs wont to field live acts boasting flair and imagination in lieu of ten-a-penny blooze bands.

Not that that stopped "concerned residents" putting Clifton’s The Grapes through hell over their once-a-week rock-centric gigs.

Far be it from us to suggest that singling out this pub – when the altogether more regular jazz-/ roots-staging Cori Tap was (rightly, of course) allowed to continue hassle-free just up the same road – smacked of philistine snobbishness. And we certainly wouldn’t dream of pointing out that, should people feel a preference for dwelling in a living fossil, there’s a city swelling with civic pride for espousing precisely that virtue just up the road. There

was better news from a couple of old stagers: the Louisiana opened up its basement for some splendidly intimate gigs, while the Arnolfini celebrated its 50th birthday with a suitably forwardlooking music bill including Factory Floor, Anika and Hype Williams.

BBC Introducing in Bristol enjoyed its finest year to date, with Richard Pitt and similarly dedicated cohorts reaching ever more diligently to ensure the extraordinary breadth of the local scene is given an airing; the increased focus on the beats-led scene, in particular, has been equal parts marked and welcome.

They’re giving local acts an everstronger leg-up to the national scene, too, with their support at the turn of the year seeing Out Like A Lion selected by Chris Moyles for A-list R1 rotation.

Also making an increased mark Beyond These Parts, Kill It Kid’s exploded blues drew wide acclaim

11 sent: Zun Zun Egui (and clockwise), BrisFest and The English Touring Opera all impressed during 2011

at the release of their second album, ‘Feet Fall Heavy’ (One Little Indian). And Zun Zun Egui’s debut, ‘Katang’ (Bella Union), was slatheringly well-received by a fleet of critics, none more so than the veteran, never-knowinglygratuitously-praising John Aizlewood: “As head-spinning-andturning rides go, there are none more likely to result in squeals of delight.”

Lord knows we could fill both pages doffing gladdened hats in the direction of closer to home delights, but word count is upon us and we can’t really let a review of 2011 slip by without mentioning – at least in passing – that whole, y’know, us nearly dying thing. One minute we’re heading down the pub to stuff our collective sorrows into a sack like so many mangy kittens, idly tweeting our imminent demise as we go, the next we’re blearily exiting to be greeted by a truly staggering – moving, frankly – welter of support. And as much as BrisBath pledged help from across the board, please don’t think this desk didn’t notice that by far the majority came from the music community. Cue a whole slew of benefit gigs, expressions of solidarity and, ultimately, Them Upstairs belatedly realising amid all the hoo-ha that perhaps we were worth giving another chance after all. ‘We couldn’t do this without you’ might be an overused phrase but, by crikey, this year proved it all too starkly true. So, thank you. (Julian Owen) JAZZ/WORLD It’s been a mixed year for jazz in these parts, with the worst being the corporate chopping of the Jazz@Future Inns club in

50 // september 2011

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For more news, reviews and extra pics, see venue.co.uk/music

Bristol – promoter Ian Storror’s supply of excellent gigs deserved better. Festivalwise Cheltenham was good and Brecon was great but Bath’s jazz supply was understated and overshadowed by a livewire Fringe Festival programme. Andy Sheppard’s classy new ECM trio premiered tantalisingly at Cheltenham while his idiosyncratic Pushy Doctors were a busy star turn on the local scene all year.

Andy headed up the Coltranethemed season at St George’s, Bristol, that also welcomed a memorable Joe Lovano set. Over in Bath the fortnightly St James Wine Vaults sessions continued to develop, showcasing a mix of top local players and national stars with Alan Barnes’s visit a highpoint. Top gig? Hotly contested, but the jaw-dropping Impossible Gentlemen set at Colston Hall remains an undimmed memory.

Happily, the Hall is now working with Mr Storror to keep the jazz flag flying, while its partnership with Asian Arts Agency promises great world music that started with passionate street-singer Sain Zahoor. Always big on the agenda, global treats last year included the irrepressible Seun Kuti, while Baaba Maal’s St George’s gig reminded just how spellbinding his music can be. 2011 saw local heavyweight reggae veterans reemerge with kudos, with Black Roots’ Fleece set and Talisman’s Harbour Festival appearance properly rooted and rocking. The Bath Fringe peaked with Ska Cubano’s Spiegeltent-bursting night while WOMAD brought Bristol Zoo to life with a memorable evening topped by Alejandro Toledo & The Magic Tombelinos.

2011, though, definitely belonged to Claudia Aurora, the Bristolbased fado singer whose debut album ‘Silencio’ caught the ear of Radio 3, the Festival Hall and a recording deal with World Village.

Previewed at the Harbour Festival, the re-worked album was launched at a magical evening at the Folk House. (Tony Benjamin)

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ROOTS As already mentioned, by far 2011’s biggest noise in roots was the revival of the Bristol Folk Festival. The Colston Hall and surrounds were packed across all three days, partly drawn by high-profile headliners – Seth Lakeman, Show of Hands and Bellowhead – but also offering bounteous cheers to a whole slew of lesser sung local lights.

Smaller of scale but scarcely less vibrant, August saw the Bath Folk Festival bring a wealth of fine fare to the city, while, in a particularly memorable folking year, in February Bristol streets thronged to morris teams for the prestigious Intervarsity Folk Dance Festival. Less happily, organisers cited “cash flow problems” for the cancellation of the picturesque Trowbridge Village Pump, but were at least able to offer consolation in staging a full weekend’s ents in the pub where it all began.

Some must-see local acts to conclude: Leonie Evans’s (also part of Rae) unselfconscious voice is altogether magical, while eponymous albums from Three Cane Whale and Emily Teague should be sought by lovers of, respectively, twinklingly intricate musical invention and open-hearted singersongwriting. Finally, a belated Bristol welcome to moved-herein-spring Aussie vaudevillian blues shouter, CW Stoneking – he might go far too, you know...

(Julian Owen)

while St George’s saluted Cage, and Cheltenham Festival eyed up Turnage’s Oedipal ‘Greek’ in a searingly direct Music Theatre Wales production which subsequently won an Outstanding Achievement in the Theatre Awards. Welsh National Opera turned in safe new productions of ‘Fledermaus’ and ‘Don Giovanni’ at Bristol Hippodrome, but there should be a bit of edge restored when new boss David Pountney gets his feet under the table, and a stunning revival of Katie Mitchell’s ‘Katya Kabanova’ really hit the spot. Iford delighted with a cupcakes ‘Hansel & Gretel’ and musically top-drawer ‘Rodelinda’, while

in Bath, English Touring Opera baffled with ‘The Fairy Queen’ (and seduced with ‘Flavio’). Orchestrally, 2011 was Mahler Year: marked by a Philharmonia/Maazel 4th Symphony, and gilded by the precision engineering of James Gaffigan’s BSO Mahler 7. The Bristol Ensemble and Freddy Kempf surfed the complete Beethoven Piano Concertos, and the Auroras went for the spooky jugular, initiating a new residency at St George’s ahead of 2011’s newest kid on the festival block: Earth Music Bristol. Not to be outdone, Bath has just announced a new festival for 2012. Bring it on!

(Paul Riley)

CLASSICAL There might have been some gloriously bonkers moments in Bath Festival’s Cardew Day, (the sound of a pen falling to the floor soon outstays whatever welcome it had in the first place!), but 2011 has been decidedly kind to contemporary music. Joanna MacGregor’s coruscating account of the MacMillan Piano Concerto No 2 (also in Bath), linked arms with Bristol’s Elektrostatic Festival,

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Music // THE MONTH AHEAD //

1.

2.

WORLD MUSIC Anoushka Shankar

ROOTS Daughter

// She learned classical Indian sitar from father Ravi, but Anoushka Shankar has always explored new musical collaborations. Her latest album ‘Traveller’ includes Indo-jazz tunes and flamenco fusions that perfectly capture the common spirit of the two traditions alongside more traditional Indian music.

// Crescendos of multi-layered vocal parts culminate in a psychedelic ambience. That there are eerie textures present in even the music’s sparsest moments sets Daughter apart from less interesting acoustic guitar-playing peers.

ANOUSHKA SHANKAR PLAYS AT COLSTON HALL (HALL 2) ON FRI 2 DEC.

DAUGHTER PLAYS THE CUBE, BRISTOL ON TUE 6 DEC.

CLASSICAL Schiff/Oxford Philomusica // There can be something very ‘singular’ about Andras Schiff (pictured). His last concerts at St George’s unfolded a complete Beethoven piano sonata cycle.

This time wall-to-wall Haydn is on the menu – and he’s got an orchestra in tow: the Oxford Philomusica. Solo piano works are interleaved with the sparkling D major Concerto, and Schiff ends as conductor, spearheading the swansong ‘London’ Symphony.

3.

ROCK Napalm Death

NAPALM DEATH PLAY THE FLEECE, BRISTOL ON WED 7 DEC.

52 // december 2011

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OXFORD PHILOMUSICA IS AT ST GEORGE’S BRISTOL ON THUR 8 DEC.

PIC CREDIT: birgitta Kowsky

// Their albums no longer leave wet patches on trousers like 1987’s ‘Scum’ would have done, but that’s not to say Napalm Death are overstaying their welcome.

Next February’s ‘Utilitarian’ will be the grindcore pioneers’ fifteenth (!) studio album, and we will expect nothing but to be violated by an onslaught of steadfast hostility.

4.

5.

CLASSICAL The Marian Consort

// Veterans of Radio 3’s ‘Early Music Show’ and finalists in the 2009 York Early Music Festival International Artists’ Competition, the Oxford-based vocal ensemble leads Bath on a “Festive Journey from Advent to Christmas”. Directed

by Rory McCleery, Santa’s musical helpers include Byrd, Guerrero, Sweelinck and Mouton.

Heavenly!

THE MARIAN CONSORT IS AT BATH PUMP ROOM ON SUN 11 DEC.

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// MUSICNEWS// PIC CREDIT: Kirsten Mcternen

7.

ROCK Euros Childs

6.

// Frontman of the now defunct Gorky’s Zygotic Mynci, Childs embarks on a solo piano tour in support of November’s ‘Ends’. Takes the glam of Bowie, Bolan et al and reduces it to glowing folk pop.

EUROS CHILDS PLAYS CHAPEL ARTS CENTRE, BATH ON TUE 13 & FOLK HOUSE, BRISTOL ON THUR 15 DEC.

JAZZ Get The Blessing // Having finished their next album and reclaimed sundry members from touring with Portishead and Radiohead, Get The Blessing are looking forward to getting together again “and playing for our mates”. The record’s out next February but you can catch the tunes at these local gigs.

YOU TOO CAN GET THE BLESSING AT THE BELL, BATH ON WED 14 DEC & CANTEEN, BRISTOL ON THUR 15 DEC.

ROCK Thekla Festive Fest

// Congratulations to The Passion of Joan of Arc (see film pic, below) creators Adrian Utley (Portishead) and Will Gregory (Goldfrapp) for taking their Bristol-born, Charles Hazlewoodconducted project to the New York White Light festival…

Playing their first shows in 34 years, Bristol’s first punk band The Cortinas (guitarist Nick Sheppard went on to play with The Clash) are reforming, bringing The Defiant Pose Tour 2012 to Bristol’s Fleece on 28 July. Ffi: www. bristolarchiverecords. com... ‘The Soviet Influence’, a film that explores the influence of 20s Russian silent propaganda film

‘Turksib’ on 30s English documentary ‘Night Mail’ (featuring the poetry of WH Auden), amongst others, gets a DVD release.

It’s an international affair, but Bristol’s – and Bronnt Industries Kapital’s – Guy Bartell soundtracks ‘Turksib’. Ffi: www.bronnt. com... Finally, some news from Venue Music Awards 2011 winners Kill It Kid and Turbowolf.

The former have just released AA single ‘Wild & Wasted Waters’/‘All to Me’ (out now via One Little Indian), the latter, a new video for ‘Read + Write’. The song has been receiving radio play from the BBC’s Zane Lowe and Huw Stephens, while the video was directed by Stephen Agnew (White Lies/Vaccines). Watch here: www.nmevideo. com/turbowolf-read-write

8.

// In a period when live rock music tends to fall to the wayside as we retreat to the comforts of flannel onesies and mulled wine, the Thekla attempts to draw Bristol out of hibernation by bringing together some of the area’s most promising rock acts for a free full-dayer. Headliners include The Hit-Ups and The Bronze Medal, alongside Venue favourites Bravo Brave Bats (pictured).

FESTIVE FEST TAKES PLACE AT THE THEKLA, BRISTOL ON SUN 18 DEC.

9.

ROCK Club Choke with Madnomad // Madnomad (pictured) play their first show in seven years; Club Choke takes over The Croft to celebrate.

Aggressive, alienating and highly obnoxious: one of Bristol’s best. Support from Big Joan and SJ Esau, among others.

CLUB CHOKE COMES TO THE CROFT, BRISTOL ON THUR 22 DEC.

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estivals • Weddings • Cor-

ents include:

Chill Bar, uncil, Paintworks, val,

Sound : Lighting : Staging Hire : Sales : Installations : Repairs Parties • Festivals • Weddings • Corporate tel 0845 224 5967 || 07812 111 646 web www.bes-systems.co.uk email info@b-e-s.co.uk

ry,

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Music

Got a gig to list?

Upload it to us at venue.co.uk/ submit-a-listing

// don't miss // A Hawk and a Hacksaw

// ROOTS Pre-industrial tragedy, imbued with colour and sorcery, Sergei Parajanov’s ‘Shadows of Forgotten Ancestors’ is a natural pairing for the cinematic, fluidly melodic grandeur of New Mexico’s AHAAH, who present an original rescore of this 60s Soviet classic.

A HAWK AND A HACKSAW SAT 3 DEC, WATERSHED

The Magic Band

the big gig

The Staves Mike White melts before folk’s most winsome threesome. // Amid the endless stream of cool this and next big the other, bands who focus simply on sounding beautiful are all too often overlooked. Witness The Staves – together as a group for five years now (though they’ve been together as sisters all their young lives), they remain mostly unknown, the sweetest little threesome you’ve never heard of.

A winsome close harmony trio, twentysomethings Emily, Jessica and Camilla started singing as many of us do – on the backseat on long car journeys with their parents. Later, a friend cajoled them along to an open mic night – just a few covers of the songs they grew up with: The Beatles, Joni Mitchell, Simon and Garfunkel. It went well; they started gigging, and have now quietly earned a small but loyal following.

Percussive, finger-picked guitar and iridescent three-way harmonies, their sound is bittersweet folk-pop, carefully, coyly wrought, and un-self-consciously steeped in musical history. Their Facebook cites Jim Jarmusch: “Nothing is original. Steal from anywhere that resonates with inspiration or fuels your imagination”; and, through him, Jean-Luc Godard: “It’s not where you take

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things from – it’s where you take them to.”

It’s no coincidence that the free downloads on thestaves.com were recorded at Cecil Sharp House (named after the early 20thcentury archivist central to the modern folk revival), and though they’re wont to weave Appalachian gospel and old-timey ukeplucking Americana into their radio-friendly romantic coo, they draw as much from ancient Irish and Welsh tradition as they do from the dustbowl.

Some of it, like the new ‘Mexico’ EP’s title track, is almost cloyingly sweet – a merino madrigal that’ll probably see them sharing iPod space with Norah Jones and her ilk.

Recent YouTube favourite ‘Winter Trees’ is, on paper at least, a female Fleet Foxes parody.

But the sisters Stave have an endearing humility, and an ear for an unlikely key change that’s more Feist or Unthank than saccharined R2-fodder. Catching them live – especially in a small space like Start the Bus – only a cold, hard heart wouldn’t flutter.

THE STAVES PLAY START THE BUS, BRISTOL ON SUN 4 DEC. SEE HTTP://STARTTHEBUS.TV FOR DETAILS. FFI: THESTAVES.COM

// ROCK Members spanning all eras of Captain Beefheart’s seminal avant garde rock band reunited in 2003 to recreate some of the jarring outlandishness of Van Vliet’s prog architecture. In true noughties fashion, they’ve since disbanded and reunited. A rare opportunity to see this seminal group.

THE MAGIC BAND SUN 4 DEC, THEKLA, BRISTOL

Wilko Johnson // ROCK Best known for his guitar work on Dr Feelgood’s 70s output, the Essex-born blues rocker brings his jerky riffs to The Fleece.

WILKO JOHNSON SUN 11 DEC, FLEECE, BRISTOL

Ensemble 360

// CLASSICAL A pairing of Schubert’s sublime String Quintet and Janacek’s confiding ‘Intimate Letters’ quartet would be selfrecommending. But Ensemble 360 goes one better, deploying a semi-staging (with veteran actor Tim West - pictured) implicating Janacek’s real-life letters.

ENSEMBLE 360 SUN 4 DEC, WILTSHIRE MUSIC CENTRE, BRADFORD ON AVON

James & Josh

// JAZZ Two of the South West’s top jazz saxophone prodigies come home for Christmas. Catch Messrs Gardiner-Bateman and Arcoleo (respectively) in an all-star Bebop sextet.

BEBOP CLUB CHRISTMAS SPECIAL FRI 23 DEC, BEBOP CLUB, BRISTOL

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Music Gaz explosion

For more news, reviews and extra pics, see venue.co.uk/music

The hardest-working man in BrisBusiness has enjoyed a heck of a twelve-month, says Julian Owen.

W

hy..?”

Normally loquacious in a warmly straightforward, entertaining kind of way, words have frozen and his face is a picture of bewilderment. Venue might as well have asked ‘Why do you breathe?’ Instead, it asked Gaz Brookfield – a man who this year had played 147 gigs by the turn of November, disappointed a three-week lay-off scuppered his hope of making 200 – why he plays quite so often. So, yes, why? We make a point of interviewing musicians clearly doing it for the love, but none gig with your frequency. Not even close.

“Why?” he repeats. “Where are they all? I have to earn money.

If I don’t play I don’t eat, simple as that. And I just love doing it. Love the fact it takes me to new parts of the country. I’m in Doncaster tomorrow. Don’t know where I’m staying...”

What will you do? “Sleep in the van. Bit nippy, but surprisingly warm once you get your head down.” That’s a rare level of commitment. “I’m

living the dream – my version of it. More money would be nice for security, but I don’t have to worry about whether I’m going to get sacked tomorrow, whereas my girlfriend’s just been made redundant.”

Since winning Acoustic magazine’s 2010 SingerSongwriter of the Year award, scooping a slot at Beautiful Days in the process, he’s added a whole heap of festivals to the weekly pubs/clubs roster. This year’s revived Bristol Folk Fest, for example, “was amazing. I was on first on the Saturday in Colston Hall Two: 400 people, more trying to get in. Packed. I only took 50 copies of my album, and they went in 10 minutes.”

You can see the appeal: as clear-eyed and honest in song as he is in conversation, an acoustic-wielding rabble rouser of the old school, with a fullthroated voice to reach over the crowd. Still, he admits, “When I watch people who’ve been doing it longer than me, I often think ‘Sh*t, I should be doing it like that’. I watched Ruarri Joseph recently – that man has got class.

I’m more shambolic, stamp my feet and swear at people. I don’t intend to, but it’s the way I feel comfortable.”

Quite right, says Venue. If you take the ‘I should be more like...’ route, you’re halfway to ‘X-Factor’. Nothing could be more anathema to an old-school circuit grinder. “Tough crowd last night,” he says. “Loud. You just switch your brain off, keep playing. If I have five gigs like that in a week and then one excellent one, I forget about the others. And the sh*t ones pay money.” It’s the One True Way, in Gaz world. Hence anti-Cowell track, ‘Diet of Banality’: “Music has been watered down to numbers on a pay cheque, for a man whose only talent’s conning money out of kids.”

“10 years ago,” he says, “all my songs were about being dumped by a girl. Misery breeds art, but nowadays I’m happy! And I don’t write songs about other people.” In fact, he says, he’s not sure what to write about at the moment, before revealing a credo a LOT of songwriters would do well to note. “A lot of my peers have been writing songs about the riots. It would be pious of me to think ‘I know what’s right about this, I’m going to tell people’. I’ve listened to them and thought ‘You’re wrong, you can’t say that’. Until I really know what I’m saying, I’ll leave it.

“I try to stay away from religion. I’ve got a song about Christianity and, in a pub full of atheists like me, it’s gone down really well. Another time I really upset someone. Made me think ‘That’s not what I’m doing it for’.

Plus,” he adds, casually dropping the holy father of all punchlines, “my dad’s a vicar.”

In the meantime, he’s about to play his biggest gig. Biggest since first picking up a guitar at 16 while at college. Biggest since 17, “sitting in the park, getting stoned, trying to learn how to play.” Biggest since quitting his job three years ago to play full-time, since releasing debut album ‘Trial & Error’, since discovering that the Seven Stars of a weekend afternoon is, he says, acoustic musicians’ nirvana. He’ll be next door, launching a live album (first 20 attendees get a free copy). “I’ve played to larger festival crowds, but the Fleece will be my biggest headline gig.

I’m flattered they think I can sell it out. If I do, I’ll apparently be the first local solo act to do it.”

GAZ BROOKFIELD PLAYS THE FLEECE, BRISTOL ON WED 21 DEC. FFI: WWW.GAZBROOKFIELD.COM

Gaz Brookfield: off to another gig, probably

“Music has been watered down to numbers on a pay cheque, for a man whose only talent’s conning money out of kids.”

Gaz brookfield venuemagazine

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Music

For more reviews and extra pics, see venue.co.uk/music

Live review St. Vincent

PICS: Leah Pritchard: www.leahpritchardphotography.com

The Fleece, Bristol (Fri 11 Nov)

// There’s always been a tension about St. Vincent’s live performances. “I’m just being coy,” Annie Clark muttered during a 2009 show, but her awkward shyness, her reticence – it appeared genuine. She recoiled from the mic at every opportunity, doubled over, face covered by hair as she threw frantic strum spasms at her guitar.

Tonight, she shows real aggression. She directs the soundman with agitated arm movements. During a cover of The Pop Group’s ‘She Is Beyond Good and Evil’, unintentional bouts of feedback occurring

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more and more frequently, her expression more irate by the second, she explodes at the end of the line: “My love was born on a ray of FUUUUCKKKKK.” It’s not that Clark is a diva, just more aware, more responsible for the act. What we’re watching is a frustrated perfectionist, wanting every seasick distorted tone to cut through. For every note to be pitch perfect. For every audience member to pulse with the deafening Moog sub-bass. Yet they don’t. Almost as though hypnotised, it’s also unnervingly quiet between songs. When she attempts a stage

dive during ‘Your Lips Are Red’, the best the front row can muster is to stop a head-tofloor collision. Clark’s records have always been bipolar – Stravinsky influences as often as King Crimson – and it’s always shown up live. But to watch it show so openly in her personality is uncomfortable.

Fascinating and, don’t get us wrong, just one aspect of one of the best performances Venue has witnessed all year – but uncomfortable. Crude lyrical additions (“I think I love you, I think I’m FUCKING MAD”) have never been more apt. (Leah Pritchard)

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LIVE REVIEW This Is My Normal State/ Tomorrow We Sail The Cooler, Bristol (Sat 5 Nov)

LIVE REVIEW Gillian Welch

Hippodrome, Bristol (Tue 15 Nov) // Less is so much more. The first set is just Gillian Welch and David Rawlings: two guitars, plus occasional banjo and harmonica. Then, after the intermission, they... do it all again. No need for sessioneers, for the light and shade is all in the songs.

Rawlings’s dextrous guitar runs only ever serve the song, never ostentatiously dominate it.

Alongside Welch he finds perfect musical symmetry: no overripe twang, no vocal gymnastics, and that despite a voice layers deep, natural as Colorado mountain run-off. The song is written, and she just sings it. And, boy, is it ever written. Like a songwriter wandering into a Cormac

McCarthy novel, Welch crafts lines every bit as spare, vivid and, ultimately, devastating.

“This one’s a little faster,” she smiles, encouragingly. “It’s not really any happier,” says Rawlings, drily. “At all.” Cue ‘The Way It Goes’, and a heroin OD in the first verse.

A gig this transfixing turns a cavernous venue into a place no less intimate than that Bristol debut.

Until the standing ovation, at any rate.

Proper-job ovation, too, not an incremental oh-go-on-thenif-we-really-must, but all rising as one. An encoring ‘I’ll Fly Away’ brings another so warm and sincere that, were it not for a raising of the house lights, it might still be going now.

(Julian Owen)

// Given sonic sculptures decorated with Sternly Bellowing Man Folk Voice and Mist-DriftsAcross-The-Moors Woman Folk Voice, it’s tempting to label Tomorrow We Sail thusly: if My Latest Novel were a history of post-rock. But we shan’t. Post-rock, though pretty, is so largely uninventive it doesn’t become them.

We’ll throw in the crystallineemotioned, studied dynamics of Low, and then wonder how better to communicate the breadth at play, seven smart minds fully exploring all available possibilities. To wit: a spectacular drone riff wrought by two violins and an accordion, beckoning an all-hands crashing, flashing passage – drums on hyper-pound, all others responding in kind – before abruptly standing alone once more. This was the Leeds group’s Bristol debut – setting

up an online petition to demand their swift return is thoroughly recommended.

Meantime, it’s a big night for This Is My Normal State (pictured): their final gig with Yuka Kurihara’s gliding dove of a voice out front (she hits a mean, occasional, drummeraugmenting snare, too). Farewell, also, to Rhiannon Wilkinson’s texturising cello.

It’s high-class fare, guitars by turn single note shimmering and spacey, overall sound four parts slow and considered to one part urgent and frantic. It’s also, alas, industry standard. Thus, as they arrive at the personnelchanging fork in the road, TIMNS have a choice: delivering more of the immaculately rendered same; or taking all they’ve learned and slotting those finely engineered pieces into something utterly distinct. The potential is undoubtable. (Julian Owen)

LIVE REVIEW WNO: Don Giovanni

LIVE REVIEW Benn Clatworthy Quintet

// Hearing Leporello’s black book aria (in which he lists Don Giovanni’s bunga-bunga conquests) as Berlusconi’s political world imploded, had a certain piquancy; but in truth John Caird’s new production of Mozart’s ambiguous masterpiece isn’t playing the contemporary card. Far from it. The setting is an 18th-century Spain darker than a Toreador’s five o’clock shadow, dominated by an evocation of Rodin’s ‘Gates of Hell’ and inclined to tableau monumentality in place of the acutely observed characterisation that made Katie Mitchell’s ‘Katya Kabanova’ the following night such an outstanding piece of theatre.

Caird also succumbed to a few crass details such as the inanely skipping peasants and cuckold’s horns, as well as a crude parting shot: a

// It’s a quintessentially Bebop gig, this, as club mainman Andy Hague sets up players and arrangements for a top quintet to welcome annual visitor Benn Clatworthy. The Los Angeles-based tenor saxman is clearly a draw – tables have to be taken out to make room for extra chairs – and the room warms quickly during timely opener Kenny Garrett’s ‘November 15th’. The band starts cautiously, Clatworthy’s sax and Hague’s trumpet tightly synched over Jim Blomfield’s restrained piano. It’s Will Harris’s first bass solo that starts to open up the time and rhythm, teasing drummer Simon Gore to match the changes. The lively ‘Con Alma’ has zip, and if

Bristol Hippodrome (Tue 8 Nov)

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risible statue of the Don supposedly caught headlong en route to a brimstone-licked eternity. Musically Lothar Koenigs’s conducting responded in kind, harking back to the big Mozart days of a Karl Bohm (his direction of ‘Katya’, incidentally, was positively incandescent).

The fuse burned fitfully bright, but the firework itself refused to ignite.

David Kempster’s Don Giovanni (more cup of Horlicks than sex bomb) was competently sung, Carlo Malinverno’s Commendatore started well, but his spell in the tomb seemed to have withered the vocal chords by the time he returned from the dead for a spot of ‘Come Dine with Me’. At her best, Camilla Roberts earthed the pain in Donna Anna’s showcase arias, and David Soar was a personable enough Leporello. But alongside the flair and acuity of ‘Katya’, a serviceable ‘Don’ rather than a great one. (Paul Riley).

Bebop Club, Bristol (Fri 18 Nov)

it still feels measured, there’s no doubting the skills on display, Blomfield especially catching the Hispanic vocabulary of Latin jazz.

Happily the corsets start to slip for ‘Woody Shaw’ as Harris and Gore race away with Blomfield chopping it up and the two frontmen jump straight in. Finally Clatworthy’s fondness for Coltrane asserts itself, leaving the smart arrangement as a foundation for fine, fast and even funny hard bop solo playing across the board.

It’s one of several high points in an excellent acoustic evening, with the warm (and occasionally schmaltzy) Mr Clatworthy perfectly framed in assured and memorable quintet playing.

(Tony Benjamin)

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Clubs Lost in bass

For more news, reviews and extra pics, see venue.co.uk/clubs

Adam Burrows looks back on a typically multifarious, waistwinding, ear-stretching year in clubland.

W

ith the economy – and what sometimes felt like the whole of civilisation – crumbling, there were times in the last 12 months when dancefloor escapism felt more necessary than ever. Thankfully, 2011 didn’t disappoint on that front, and in many ways was something of a vintage year.

It may well be remembered as the year Bristol finally succumbed to the 4/4 groove. While house, techno and disco have been resurgent in the city for a few years, their influence on the underground bass scene reached a point where the line between the two became blurred to the point of invisibility. Many of clubland’s most exciting sounds worked this middle ground, from the dark, sinuous grooves of Kowton to the glittering, soulful fare of Julio Bashmore. The house-invigorated bass scene also gained a focal point when the Idle Hands record shop opened in March.

This is only one side of the story, of course. The bigger picture reveals a frighteningly healthy scene moving in countless directions. Thekla’s new Friday night session 51°27' brought in underground heroes from Rustie to Jackmaster, adding to the momentum for eclectic post-garage clubbing whipped up by the likes of Crazylegs. The Croft continued to support niche sounds, adding underground hip-hop night Rhyme & Reason and juke/footwork/ghettotech explosion Percolate to its roster.

Blue Mountain went totally tropical as Tongue & Groove spread

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the Moombahton virus to Stokes Croft. The Caribbean influence was everywhere in 2011, from Trinity’s thriving Teachings in Dub sessions to the new generation roots of Peng Sound at the Blue Mountain and Ruffnek Diskotek’s forward-thinking bashment mix.

And, lest we forget, dubstep and drum & bass continued to be the biggest draws with huge line-ups from Run and Hospitality, as well as local favourites Subloaded, Intrigue and Champion Sound.

As for nightclubs themselves, the biggest news story was the question mark over Lakota’s future following the tragic death of 16-yearold Joe Simons after a night out at the club. Lakota closed, re-opened, then closed again, resulting in the cancellation of a number of big raves, including the annual Unity spectacular. When its licence was finally suspended for three months from 7 Nov, Lakota’s owners issued a statement acknowledging that “the management of the club was called into question”, going on to explain that “we are committed to making significant changes and we will engage a new security team, employ a new management team and will not reopen until we feel that we are able to provide customers with a safe environment in which they can enjoy themselves.” It’s hoped that Lakota will re-open in February.

In happier news, TB2 had an exemplary 12 months as the new regime’s steely quality control saw everyone from Dave Clarke to DJ Funk passing through.

Elsewhere, rebirth was in vogue as Lab became Arc, Joe Publics became Pam Pam, and Bath’s Back To Mine metamorphosed into Baroque. Then there was Motion – in particular its underground music season In:Motion, which returned for a second run of expertly programmed blowouts in October. Highlights so far have included tie-ins with Bloc, Field Day, Rinse FM and Bugged Out, with guests as diverse as Luke Vibert, DJ Yoda, Zinc, Hudson Mohawke and Skream.

In:Motion continues right up to the end of December, so you’ve still got a month’s worth of big nights to choose from.

Motion didn’t have a monopoly on ambitious events this year, though. May saw the Simple Things festival take over three venues at once – our highlights included Kutmah, Jon Hopkins and The Kelly Twins, who seemed to be everywhere this year. June brought the We The People weekender with Chase & Status, The Streets and Annie Mac alongside a host of underground talent. As always, a big chunk

of Bristol’s clubbing community disappeared to Glastonbury that month, resulting in great sets from Addison Groove, Hyetal, Al Tourettes & Appleblim and Redlight. Then in August it was See No Evil – essentially a street art event, but one that brought the cream of local DJ talent together, with everyone from Die and Peverelist to Wild Bunch legend Milo taking part. At summer’s end, a generous contingent of local promoters (Crazylegs, Blowpop et al) decamped to Wiltshire for the second Underhill Festival – memorably described by our reviewer as “a beautiful shambles”.

Finally, 2011 was the year of recession-proof clubbing, as promoters seized opportunities to keep overheads low and door prices attractive for the financially challenged. Boundary Object’s free entry Sunday sessions at The Bell presented the cream of Bristol in a laidback setting, while The Bank hosted forward-thinking line-ups from Futureboogie, Pollen and others, and Contraband brought b-boy block party vibes to the Golden Lion. For those who were lazy as well as skint, Panhead had the answer– the chance to enjoy great DJ sets at home via the magic of the internet. Truly, we live in remarkable times.

The ubiquitous Kelly Twins provided some of our favourite sounds from 2011, as did the darkly groovesome Kowtown (above)

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Clubs All about Eve Come the end of 2011, Adam Burrows won’t be staying in to watch Jools Holland.

E

nough of your excuses. Staying in on New Year’s Eve is against the law, so you’d better start looking at your options.

Unsurprisingly, the night’s biggest party is at Motion.

A collaboration between The Blast, Just Jack and others, it looks like bringing In:Motion 2011 to a fitting climax – with extra warehouse space and a host of big names from across the dance music spectrum.

These include top-flight drum & bassers High Contrast and Shy FX, hot-as-hell Detroit collective Visionquest, and Hamburg retro disco/house monster Tensnake, whose euphoric set was a highlight of We The People back in June. Also on the bill are local heroes Redlight and Interface, so whether you’re a junglist, dubstepper, houser or technoist, there should be plenty here to keep you moving well into 2012. Champion Sound will be at Blue Mountain, meanwhile, for a big old jungle and dub session headlined by Ed Solo.

Over at Basement 45, ricocheting snares will ring in the new year as Critical stage a heavyweight drum & bass session headlined by Bristol legend Die. The take-noprisoners line-up also promises Cyantific, Commix and Foreign Concept, plus back-to-back business from Spectrasoul and label head Kasra. At Mr Wolf’s, meanwhile, there’ll be a Jungle Boogie special with Latin and funk music from The Magnus Puto Band and decks manned

by The Asbo Disco and Ewan Hoozami. Elsewhere in Bristol, there’s Gimme Shelter at The Louisiana, with Pop Britannia and The Dukes of Mumbai playing live, and John The Mod’s signature mix of 60s beat and soul rarities, rock ’n’ roll, Motown and indie, while The Croft has Pop Bubble Rock, which means pop, punk and indie selections, tomfoolery on an epic scale, and some seriously tempting drinks deals. The Black Swan couldn’t give full details of their line-up yet, but with Tribe Of Frog in charge it should be a treat for those of a psychedelic persuasion. More mysterious still is the NYE Retreat planned by

Al Fresco Disco – the location is a secret, but they recommend bringing a swimsuit, so let’s hope it’s not the Feeder canal.

For those who want to party like it’s Venice in 1699, there’s Trinity’s third annual Masked Ball. The glitter and finery will be soundtracked by live sets from Laid Blak and First Degree Burns, plus DJs – including Sigma and The Prototypes – playing drum & bass, soul, funk and more. The theme at O2 Academy is altogether more futuristic, as indie stalwarts Ramshackle and Propaganda team up for “an extra-terrestrial adventure”, with “aliens, astronauts and entertainment from another galaxy”. At Thekla’s Pop Confessional soiree, it’s “creationism versus evolution” all the way, with recommended costumes including “dinosaur, Jesus, ape, Virgin Mary, caveman, mythical creatures, preachers and scientists”, while over in Bath, Trailer Trash are gearing up for a Vegas-themed party at Komedia with live cabaret, aerial, fire and burlesque acts to a soundtrack of “rock ‘n’ roll, neo-swing, garage punk and electro-pop”. On the other

hand, if you want to dress to kill on a budget, try The Cube’s austerity-themed Cardboard Apocalypse, where the dress code is anything you can make out of (you guessed it) cardboard, and the “live-remixed, eclectic, f*cked up dance abandon” will be led by the adorable Mr Hopkinson’s Computer, and the in-house Cardboard Chorus Line. “Society has collapsed,” say the promoters. “We’re going to rebuild it with a glue gun.”

While we’re on the subject of thrift, entry is free at the Big Chill Bar, and with plenty of cocktails plus two floors of bass led by Queen Bee and Mr Benn it might be the best value New Year’s party of all. TB2, meanwhile, are plotting their “biggest ever NYE all-nighter”.

They couldn’t confirm the lineup at time of writing, but five quid for “eleven hours of house, techno, drum & bass and disco across three rooms” sounds great, even to underpaid hacks like us. It’s time to put away those excuses, and choose.

CHECK WWW.VENUE.CO.UK FOR MORE INFO ON THESE AND OTHER NEW YEAR’S EVE SHENANIGANS.

Usher in 2012 with the help of beatsmashers Tensnake and Ewan Hoozami (centre); far right: Jesus - coming to a Thekla near you

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// THE MONTH AHEAD // 51°27' Fantastic Mr Fox & Disclosure

For more news, reviews and extra pics, see venue.co.uk/clubs

1.

2.

// Fantastic Mr Fox’s (pictured) releases for Hemlock and Black Acre demonstrate a subtlety and attention to detail that mark him out as one of the deftest producers in post-dubstep electronica, with cut-up R&B vocals, woozy synths, and punchy, syncopated beats falling somewhere between 2-step garage and the glitchy hip-hop of Prefuse 73. Tonight he’s paired with future garage duo Disclosure, whose debut five-track EP (free to download if you ‘like’ their Facebook page) is essential listening for fans of Joy Orbison, Pangaea, Untold et al.

THE JACK Layo & Buskwacka!

51°27' THEKLA, BRISTOL, FRI 2 DEC. FFI: WWW.THEKLABRISTOL. CO.UK/

3.

RUFFNEK DISKOTEK Serocee // Serocee should be a familiar name to fans of dancehall or UK hip-hop, having appeared on productions by Basement Jazz, MJ Cole, The Heatwave and Zed Bias, and broadcast on Radio 1 alongside his ‘Shake It’ collaborator Toddla T. Support comes from Ruffnek regulars Dub Boy, Atki2, Brother Wetlands et al, with their waist-winding cocktail of dancehall, funky, dubstep, roots and more.

// One of the house scene’s most in-demand DJ and production duos, Layo Paskin and Matthew Benjamin helped found legendary London club The End before releasing four albums that pleased critics and racked up sales at the same time. Their wide-ranging attitude is a big factor in that success – with electro, breakbeat, jazz and dub influences all prominent in their own productions – while their DJ sets run the gamut of global house, from deep, soulful and minimal to the mightiest big-room anthems. There’s also top-quality local support from Behling, Fred Prest, Pardon My French and Little Tom. THE JACK TB2, BRISTOL, FRI 2 DEC. FFI: WWW. TB2.CO.UK

RUFFNECK DISKOTEK COSIES, BRISTOL, SAT 10 DEC. FFI: WWW.COSIES.CO.UK

4.

5.

IN:MOTION Cocoon

INTRIGUE XMAS PARTY Calibre & Lenzman

// This takeover by Sven Vath’s Cocoon empire is a dream for lovers of immaculate techno and house, with world­-class talent in all three of Motion’s main spaces. Stuttgart electro brothers Tiefschwarz (pictured) headline with support from devastating Turkish deep houser Onur Özer. The tunnel is hosted by Just Jack, with versatile Parisian Dyed Soundorom in the guest slot, while Detroit prodigy Kyle Hall brings his mercurial techno to the cave.

// Mulled wine, mince pies and a killer soundsystem are the trimmings promised for this seasonal feast of drum & bass merriment, but rest assured there’s no turkey on the menu. Calibre’s (pictured) classical training shows in his restrained, melodic liquid funk, while the deep, soulful style of Lenzman – appearing here with vocalist/MC Riya – has made him one of the break-out producers of recent years. Both are booked for 90-minute sets, with support from stalwart Bristol duo The Insiders and the rest of the Intrigue regulars.

IN:MOTION BRISTOL, SAT 10 DEC. FFI: WWW. BRISTOLINMOTION.COM

INTRIGUE DOJO LOUNGE, BRISTOL, FRI 16 DEC. FFI: WWW. INTRIGUE.ORG.UK

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6.

TEACHINGS IN DUB Channel One Vs Jah Voice // The soundclash specialists return with enough bass pressure to rupture the space-time continuum. This month’s contestants in cosmic soundsystem battle are Notting Hill Carnival veterans Channel One (pictured) and righteous Midlands roots masters Jah Voice.

TEACHINGS IN DUB TRINITY CENTRE, BRISTOL, FRI 16 DEC. FFI: WWW.3CA.ORG.UK

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Performance

THEATRE / DANCE / LIVE ART

It's all the stage From a raft of new bijou venues to another blizzard of striking productions and rising talents, Steve Wright found plenty to enjoy in Theatreland 2011.

T

heatre, like other art forms, is struggling under an austere financial climate, but wandering around the local theatre landscape over the last 12 months, you’d have been hard pushed to see its effects. Theatre was as adventurous and risktaking as ever; audiences numbers seemed largely buoyant; and we were even treated to the encouraging spectacle of not one, but three new theatre spaces for Bristol. First came the splendid Wardrobe Theatre, a beautiful space above Kingsdown’s White Bear pub. The team there – many of them Bristol Old Vic Young Company alumni – have hit upon an eclectic mix of theatre, comedy, poetry and a fortnightly soap opera. Russell Howard even did two secret nights there this summer. Another arrival was The Little Black Box, an even more bijou theatre space in a

former grocer’s shop on Chandos Road. And pitching up at the tail end of the year is the Bierkeller Theatre, a new 400 seater in the building that houses the eponymous rockers’ venue.

Among the existing theatres, Theatre West gave us another fine autumn season of new writing at the Alma Tavern, based on the splendid premise of giving a load of writers some evocative old photos and seeing what they came up with.

Highlights included Penny Gunter’s ‘Dorian’s Second Life’, a highly physical, one-man show, and ‘I Remember Green’ by Heather Lister, which explored the relationship between a son (blinded as a result of a fall) and his parents.

Predictably, another Alma highlight was May’s Directors’ Cuts season, for which four graduating directors at Bristol Old Vic Theatre School directed classmates in a series of handpicked modern dramas.

All four plays were brilliantly done, but pick of the bunch was Ed Stamboulian’s version of ‘The Aliens’, Annie Baker’s play

Clockwise from this pic: inside Bristol's bijou peformance space The Wardrobe; on set for Mike Leigh's 'Grief'; Steven Berkoff in 'Dog'; Tristan Sturrock in 'Treasure Island'; the inimitable Tim Crouch perfoming 'I, Malvolio' and Les Dennis's surprise hit 'Jigsy'

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about a trio of New England slackers: sensitively directed and containing three truly exceptional performances from BOVTS graduands Bart Edwards, Luke Newberry and (especially) a wonderful Jack Holden, hiding inner sadness and anger behind a droll slacker facade.

A few local companies consolidated themselves as purveyors of well-crafted but adventurous theatre this year – often in collaboration with each other. Take ‘Outside’ at Bristol’s Brewery theatre, for example, a collaborative effort between Bristol outfits Darkstuff and Roughhouse, which transplanted – with some success – Albert Camus’s existentialist sacred text ‘The Outsider’ to post-9/11 Britain. Soon after, Roughhouse conquered the wild slopes of Arnos Vale Cemetery to give us a brace of alfresco stripped-down, modern-dress Shakespeares. Our reviewer described their ‘Two Gentlemen of Verona’ as “undoubtedly the best performance of a Shakespeare comedy Venue’s ever seen in a cemetery.” High

praise indeed.

Back at The Brewery, other highlights included another run for ‘Leaves of Glass’, Philip Ridley’s painfully emotional family drama as performed superbly by local RoomOne Productions; more brilliant comic theatre from Bristol’s Publick Transport with ‘Discombobulated’ and ‘Very Hard Times’; and another outing from the excellent Idiot Child Theatre with ‘You’re Not Doing It Right’, a tender and comic paean to awkwardness.

The Tobacco Factory’s main house, for its part, was as replete with theatrical gems as ever – not least ‘Jigsy’, Tony Staveacre’s portrait of a waning Scouse comic, played with stunning clarity by – yes – Les Dennis.

‘Dylan Thomas: Return Journey’ was a beautiful enactment of the man, the verse, the genius and the drink, and the brilliant Filter Theatre returned with another joyously exuberant Shakespeare adaptation – this time of ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’.

Over at the Rondo in Bath, sketch troupe New Old Friends continued to make strides, and former Rondo artistic director Andy Burden directed a taut and effortlessly dramatic ‘Henry V’. Another Rondo treat was ‘The Decent Rogues’, a brand new musical staged by local troupe Music is Life, and telling the tale of two well-respected members of Edwardian village life – who also happened to be gentlemen crooks. And Bristol’s ace comic troupe Gonzo Moose returned with another cock-eyed literary hommage, ‘Grimm and Grimmer’.

Bristol Festival of Puppetry returned to the Tob Fac with more top-notch dispatches from the keen edges

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of modern puppetry. Where the first BFoP showcased to the world the incredible talents within Bristol puppetry scene – yer Green Gingers, Pickled Images, Full Beams et al – the second instalment reached outwards and drew some of the world’s finest marionettists to Bristol, among them Norway’s Nordland Visual Theatre, New York’s Wakka Wakka and Australia’s brilliant Neville Tranter. And, from some strained birthday celebrations in Adolf Hitler’s bunker to a post-Armageddon dystopia, BFoP 2011’s menu was a brilliant testament to the rich array of stories, scenes and emotions that modern adult puppetry can encapsulate.

As it turns out, 2011 was the last year to feature a season of plays curated by the great Sir Peter Hall at Theatre Royal Bath. And Hall bowed out in some style, himself directing ‘Henry IV Parts 1 & 2’. Elsewhere in the season, Christopher Luscombe directed The Madness of George III and Stephen Unwin took the reins for a wonderful version of This Happy Breed, Noel Coward’s rarely-staged drama which follows the ups and downs of one ordinary family between the two World Wars. In similarly textured, characterrich vein, TRB later welcomed Mike Leigh’s new stage play ’Grief’, a brilliant, meticulously characterised and harrowing tale of an introverted family quietly imploding amid the stuffiness and loss of post-war Britain.

Earlier in the year, Derek Jacobi gave us a frazzled, expressive and emotional ‘King Lear’ at TRB, in Michael Grandage’s sparse, white-box production.

It was all change at the Ustinov, with the arrival of artistic director Laurence Boswell, trailing legions of Hollywood stars and ushering in a new reign of repertory theatre.

His first European classics season, including new versions

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of plays by Goethe, Calderon and Marivaux, has looked promising enough: beautifully acted, subtly directed and technically on the money, although you wonder – in the cases, in particular, of Marivaux’s The Surprise of Love and Goethe’s Iphigenia – whether his choices are of enduring relevance to modern audiences. More will be revealed next year.

Before Boswell’s arrival, the Ustinov played out the last of departing AD Andrew Smaje’s programming – and some gems there were too, including a double bill of rarely seen Pinter classics, Landscape and Monologue, both exceptional pieces of emotional, expressive and minimalist chamber theatre.

We also liked The Summer House, an anarchic comedy by writer/performers Will Adamsdale, Neil Haigh and Matthew Steer, which also graced Mayfest.

While building crews dug deep inside the grand old building for its major regeneration, Bristol Old Vic’s big theatrical event was their alfresco Treasure Island, staged aboard a hulking, battlescarred pirate ship run aground in King Street. Written by Mike Akers, directed by Sally Cookson and devised with the cast as they went along, the play was, we proclaimed, a triumph – not least for Tristan Sturrock’s Long John Silver: “He plays the piratical unidexter fast and loose, fashioning him into a seductive quicksilver snake of twists and turns, now with a heart of gold, now of stone.” Better still, though, was Brian Friel’s Faith Healer, in the Studio in the spring. Simon Godwin’s staging of Friel’s gripping memory play was a minimalist triumph, a startling example of what a beautiful script, an unblinkingly committed cast, some sensitive direction and a pitch-perfect set can achieve.

Arguably, Mayfest 2012 didn’t hit the extraordinary heights of its predecessor, but nonetheless

Going out this month? see venue.co.uk - the new home of Venue’s what’s on listings

there were some very beguiling and arresting incursions into adventurous new performance.

High praise, in particular, to Foster & Déchery, whose Epic unfurled the key events of the 20th century via video, storytelling, live music, dance, physical theatre and more. We also liked Stand + Stare’s The Guild of Cheesemakers, whose audiences found themselves guests at a top-notch foodie gathering, albeit shot through with moments of pleasing theatrical oddity. Theatrical discoveries of the year Little Bulb Theatre also beguiled us, while international troupe New International Encounter hit the spot again with their maritime epic Tales From A Sea Journey.

Early in the year, Shakespeare at the Tobacco Factory were on song as ever.

Andrew Hilton’s ‘Comedy of Errors’ was alive to that play’s madcap comedy and daft symmetries, but also to the notes of loss and loneliness permeating the play; and ‘Richard II’ unearthed, in the title role, a huge new talent in John Heffernan.

Bring on another year…

FOR THE VENUE DANCE REVIEW OF THE YEAR, SEE WWW.VENUE.CO.UK/ PERFORMANCE

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Performance

THEATRE / DANCE / LIVE ART

// THE MONTH AHEAD // XMAS CABARET Stockings by the Fire

1.

// Inspired by the vaudeville shows of the early 20th century, Hecate Theatre’s cabaret evening fuses music, comedy, circus tricks, storytelling and a mild dose of audience participation.

Featuring seven girls, a darkly festive set and a large oldfashioned suitcase, ‘Stockings by the Fire’ revolves around the theme of trying to create Christmas from the contents of the case, as each cast member demonstrates what ‘Christmas’ means to them.

2.

FESTIVE AYCKBOURN Season’s Greetings

STOCKINGS BY THE FIRE: A CHRISTMAS CABARET IS AT THE HILL PUB, BRISTOL ON FRI 2 & SAT 3 DEC. FFI: WWW.HECATETHEATRE.CO.UK

MESSING ABOUT IN BOATS The Wind in the Willows // The Youth Theatre talents at Bath’s prolific Next Stage make like Mole, Ratty, Toad and all the gang in Alan Bennett’s stage adaptation of Kenneth Grahame’s much-loved tale of anthropomorphic riverside creatures. “Poop poop!” etc etc.

3.

WINTER WONDERLANDS Mother Iceheart

THE WIND IN THE WILLOWS IS AT THE MISSION THEATRE, BATH FROM TUE 6-SAT 10 DEC. FFI: WWW.NEXTSTAGE.CO.UK

4.

CLASSIC RETOLD Home Alonely

// It’s tinsel, turkey, trimmings and, indeed, tantrums with Alan Ayckbourn’s black comedy from 1980, about a dysfunctional family spending the Xmas season cooped up together. Dramatis personae include a frustrated wife, a seductive stranger and a mechanical monkey: cast includes Jenny Funnell and Christopher ‘Herriott’ Timothy.

SEASON’S GREETINGS IS AT THEATRE ROYAL BATH ON MON 5-SAT 10 DEC. FFI: WWW. THEATREROYAL.ORG.UK

5.

// Bedmo-based community theatre troupe acta bring back their devised festive show for four performances only. In an old crumbling house in the middle of the forest, Mother Iceheart weaves her wicked spells, and nobody is safe – especially not her servant Eliza, whose quest to escape her employer leads her on some magical adventures.

Recommended ages 5+.

// It’s Christmas show time at the Wardrobe, the brilliant and bijou new theatre and ensemble based in a room above Kingsdown’s White Bear pub. ‘Home Alonely’ is a devised show created by talents from companies including Bristol’s Tinned Fingers, the Wardrobe Ensemble and Bristol Old Vic Young Company. And, as you might guess, it’s a darkly comic retelling of that 1990 Xmas blockbuster in which a cutesy young Macaulay Culkin is left to fend for himself while the family head off on hols. It’s now 21 years on, and for Kevin history seems to be repeating itself. Mischief, adventure and – yerss – adult comedy are in store.

MOTHER ICEHEART IS AT THE ACTA CENTRE, BEDMINSTER, BRISTOL ON WED 7, FRI 9 & SAT 10 DEC. FFI: WWW.ACTA-BRISTOL.COM

HOME ALONELY IS AT THE WARDROBE THEATRE, BRISTOL ON 7-8, 10-15 & 18 DEC. FFI: WWW.THEWARDROBETHEATRE.COM

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Going out this month? see venue.co.uk - the new home of Venue’s what’s on listings

7.

CABARET Cabaret of Curiosities

THEATRE Scaramouche Jones // The wild-eyed and splendid Alan Coveney (Shakespeare at the Tob Fac, Theatre West) takes on a role he was surely born to play, as Justin Butcher’s centenarian clown preparing to step down after his final performance. Before he sets off, though, Scaramouche recounts the story of his life, while tenderly laying down the seven white masks he has worn to face the darkest periods of the turbulent 20th century. Can Coveney steal Postlethwaite’s crown?

Er, Postleley. BOV Theatre School graduate Emel Yilmaz directs.

6.

SCARAMOUCHE JONES IS AT THE ALMA TAVERN, BRISTOL FROM TUE 13-SAT 17 DEC. FFI: WWW.ALMATAVERNTHEATRE.CO.UK

// Christmassy edition of this regular Cube cabaret night, featuring a mix of circus, dance, music and comedy.

Tonight’s roster includes comedian Terry Saunders (pictured), ‘mini-bike ballet’ Les Velobici, The Cardboard Chorus Line and a bulging stockingful of other treats.

CABARET OF CURIOSITIES IS AT THE CUBE CINEMA, BRISTOL ON SAT 17 DEC. FFI: HTTP:// CABARETOFCURIOSITIES.WEEBLY.COM/

8.

FAMILY SHOW Recycled Stockings // The brainchild of BS3’s Show Of Strength, ‘Recycled Stockings’ is a collection of six reinvented Christmas classics, for ages 4 to 104. Meet a reindeer with attitude preparing to challenge Rudolph as Leader of the Pack, a Captain who’s lost his Hook, and much more. And, yessirreee, get your stockings filled!

RECYCLED STOCKINGS IS AT THE SOUTHVILLE CENTRE, BRISTOL FROM TUE 20-THUR 22 DEC. FFI: WWW.SHOWOFSTRENGTH.ORG.UK AND WWW. SOUTHVILLECENTRE.ORG.UK

9.

PANTO TIME Mother Goose

// The graduating thesps at Bristol Old Vic Theatre School always lay on a fine spread come Xmas time, and this adaptation of the much-loved family panto should be no exception. Mother Goose’s idyllic village of Goosebury Downs is threatened by a dangerous secret that lies hidden in the woods: and will her prize bird Priscilla ever lay an egg? All will be revealed, in most uproarious and brilliant fashion.

MOTHER GOOSE IS AT THE REDGRAVE THEATRE, BRISTOL FROM FRI 2-WED 21 DEC. FFI: WWW.OLDVIC.AC.UK

ONE-MAN COMEDY The Meaning of Riff

10.

// ‘Interactive preview’ of the latest team-up between ace director Andy Burden and comic actor Eamonn Fleming (Big State Theatre). ‘TMoR’, which the duo’ll be taking to Edinburgh next year, sees Fleming waxing lyrical over his love/hate affair with guitar solos, thundering drums and songs about Satan. From teenage obsessions to midlife crises, come and have your two penn’orth on the genius/nonsense (delete as applicable) that is heavy metal.

THE MEANING OF RIFF IS AT THE RONDO THEATRE, BATH ON THUR 15 DEC. FFI: WWW.RONDOTHEATRE.CO.UK

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Performance

PREVIEW Good Clown Bad Clown

THEATRE // “The best description of it is of a folk tale performed by clowns.” John Retallack, for three decades perhaps the UK’s brightest voice in theatre for young people, is discussing ‘Good Clown Bad Clown’, the new show by the award-winning children’s writer Renata Allen, which he directs in Bristol Old Vic’s Studio this month.

Retallack, these days, is an associate director at BOV, lured to the job last year by a theatre

and a company that he could see were making great creative strides. He’s also something of a doer. His long theatre career to date has included founding long-running Fringe faves ATC: he later ran the acclaimed Oxford Stage Company (now Headlong) for a decade from 1989.

Then, in 2001, Retallack founded Company of Angels, a serious-minded, adventurous young stage company, who brought the tremendous ‘Apples’ – tales of adolescent infighting, heartbreak and pregnancy in modern-day Middlesbrough – to BOV Studio a coupla years back. “Company of Angels came out of seeing some fantastic work for young people in Holland – work that

THEATRE / DANCE / LIVE ART was much more challenging, political and lively than anything we had in the UK at the time,” John tells Venue.

“At that time, there was much less good theatre for young people – but there have been big changes in that decade, and I like to think Company of Angels has played a big part in that.”

So. To ‘Good Clown Bad Clown’, a show written by Allen and then further devised by Retallack and the company.

Inspired by an American folk tale, the story revolves around a circus which has been run, in turn, by the Good Clown – who likes making people laugh for its own sake – and the Bad Clown, who only does the comedy to fill his coffers.

“HipHop, the Good Clown, is kind to his circus employees; ZimZam, the Bad Clown, treats them cruelly. And their tale is linked to a folk story that has devils, princesses, a tall tower and a grieving king. Through losing his money and circus to ZimZam, HipHop finds himself on an adventure which leads him back home to reclaim his circus. Everything leads to a happy, even an ideal resolution.

And along the way there is a great deal of buffoonery, for which we’ve had some great help from Circomedia’s Bim Mason.”

A very Bristolian cast and crew includes Liesel Corp (designer), who has previously fitted out BOV shows including ‘Swallows and Amazons’, ‘Far Away’ and ‘Juliet and Her Romeo’, plus a cast including local actors Alison Fitzjohn and (ex-BOV Young Company) Chris Farish. Ian Summers (star of Battersea Arts Centre’s Christmas hit ‘World Cup Final 1966’, written by BOV artistic director Tom Morris) plays the malicious ZimZam. “The idea is that these clowns tell us a story about what happens in the world, but that they tell it with what they have to hand – hoops, balls, buckets, ladders. The whole story is told as a piece of circus, although there is a very detailed script. In the sheer amount of clowning and physical theatre in there, it feels quite Bristolian – but it’s also a beautifully plotted story.” BOV are recommending the show to ages 4 and above.

“Clowns can be scary, and there is a Bad Clown in this, after all. But it’s a great fun family show, with a lot of audience interaction.”

PREVIEW

hero – ace aviator, war hero, all-round pukka chap. It’s 1939, and Britain stands alone on the brink of defeat at the hand of the dastardly Hun. Biggles and his lifelong chums Algy and Ginger are summoned in a last-ditch effort to save King and Country: their mission is to fly the prototype of the Fokker AKE, the enemy’s most sophisticated fighter plane, out of Germany under the nose of arch enemy Oberfuhrer von Spineschiller and his crack regiment of Stormtroopers.

Cue some labyrinthine and, we’re promised, eye-wateringly funny twists, turns and tangles. Chocks away!

Biggles Flies a Fokker Home THEATRE // Now, this one tickles us on various fronts. For one thing, it is, its creators assure us, the first-ever stage version of the tale of the ace airman and boy’s own adventure hero.

For another, it’s the latest sortie from Live Wire Theatre, the comedy-leaning Bath troupe who have previously tickled us with outings such as the subChaucer romp ‘Chauntecleer and Pertelotte’.

This action-packed romp

by Bath playwright (and Live Wire’s in-house scribe) Dougie Blaxland spoofs the novels of WE Johns, and their eponymous

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GOOD CLOWN BAD CLOWN IS AT BRISTOL OLD VIC STUDIO FROM THUR 1 DEC-SAT 7 JAN. SEE WWW. BRISTOLOLDVIC.ORG.UK FFI.

BIGGLES FLIES A FOKKER HOME IS AT THE RONDO THEATRE, BATH FROM TUE 6-SAT 10 DEC. SEE WWW. RONDOTHEATRE.CO.UK FOR MORE INFO.

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Comedy Oh, how we laughed Bristol and Bath love their comedy, and everybody knew it this year.

Steve Wright looks back.

B

ristol comics past and present once again bestrode the comedy landscape this year. At one end of the armpit-toarena continuum, Stephen Merchant returned to his home town for four well-received nights at the Colston Hall in October. Elsewhere, John Robins’s star continues to rise steadily – more akin to his friend and former flatmate Mark Olver than the astronomical upsurges of their other two flatmates Jon Richardson and (especially) Russell Howard. Robins is coming along nicely, though: last month, he gave us a brilliant solo set at the Comedy Box. Meanwhile, the coming men of Bristol comedy still look to be Mat Ewins and Jared Hardy, who has developed an endearing stage presence and a good stock of self-deprecating material. Olver, meanwhile, had yet another good year: his ‘Olver: Portrait of a Serial Killer’ won a Best New Show at the Leicester Comedy Festival, and his rendition of same at Bath Comedy Fest was one of BCF 2011’s high watermarks.

This year, though, we bade a fond farewell to Jesters, which had been turning out decent comedy nights on Cheltenham Road since 1995: the team bounced back quickly with Riproar Comedy, a new Saturdaynight session in a modern theatre off Anchor Road. Earlier in the year, it looked for a while as though we might also be saying goodbye to the Comedy Cavern, the brilliant Sunday-night sessions in the intimate cellars of Bath’s Porter pub: happily, though, there was a change of thinking (helped by massive public support) and the Cavern continues to flourish.

The three comedy festivals (and Bath Fringe, which boasts a healthy

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comedy strand) all did good this year. Bristol BrouHaHa highlights included Cheddar’s funniest export, Richard Herring, with another hilariously uncomfortable inventory of his own complex neuroses. Elsewhere at the Brou, Andrew Lawrence threw off some of his customary TV nihilism to reveal an accomplished, versatile performer: “Builds up spectacularly fluent rants without apparent effort… if you take your comedy black and unsweetened, noone does it better.”

Another of the BrouHaHa’s finest hours was the pairing of the brilliant, bendyfaced-comiccum-songsmith Rob Deering (how is this guy not doing amphitheatres in the stead of messrs Carr and McIntyre?) and infectiously inventive sketch troupe The Noise Next Door.

The Brou was joined this summer

by Bristol Comedy Garden, a brand new festival in Queen Square that lured some big names to Bristol for four nights of midsummer laughter. Like the BrouHaHa, this was a chance for comics to hone their Edinburgh material before hightailing north – and, indeed, as one reviewer noted, there was “a very Edinburgh-like atmosphere” to the Garden’s Queen Square, “scattered with expensive food and drink stalls and temporary decorations, transforming an ordinary city-centre setting into a temporary pleasure garden.”

Angelos Epithemiou, aka Dan Skinner, ‘Shooting Stars’’ impassive Hackney burger-van man, was accorded a hero’s welcome and delivered, we noted, “inspired anticomedy”: warmest welcome, though, was reserved for Adam Buxton, (of

fanboy/geek comedy duo Adam & Joe), who introduced us to a panoply of internet music videos, discussing them and reading out some of the more bizarre comments they’ve received on YouTube. “The videos are variously funny, beautiful and breathtakingly creative, and the YouTube comments are… rich in human quirks, stupidity, misplaced rage, and the tragi-comic spectacle of people trying and failing to communicate.”

At Bath Fringe, we loved the double helping of character comedy from Tom Binns, especially Ian D Montfort: Spirit Guide, “a heroic pisstake of all things clairvoyant… with some actual pseudoclairvoyant trickery thrown in for good measure”.

And we were introduced to the rising charms of America’s Bo Burnham, a 20-year-old comic and songsmith fizzing with energy and imagination, leaping between hip-hop rants, piano ballads, haiku, Shakespeare quotes and leftfield gags.

The third Bath Comedy Festival was, we noted, “a rich and varied pudding”: the Merry Opera

Company’s ‘Troy Boy’ may have stretched the boundaries of comedy, but it went down well with the opera crowd, while Arthur Smith led a madcap bus tour, ably assisted by the Natural Theatre Company’s menagerie of street-theatre eccentrics. Tom Wrigglesworth and Gareth Richards at the Rondo gave good laughter, and Doug Stanhope at the Pavilion “went over a storm to a packed house of adoring fans, despite his description of them as morons… His rambling, self-destructive nihilistic rants, which he repeatedly described (accurately) as not funny, brought roars of merriment.”

Not everyone hit the heights this year – lairy Canadian import Tom Stade didn’t, teacher-turned comic Kevin Precious didn’t, and at BCF Arnold Letinov’s Outlaws of the Imagination was simply, our reviewer noted, “a bewildering disaster… Fascinatingly dire: like watching a botched autopsy.” BCF ended well, though, with Olver’s West Country Comedy Gala showcasing the very best of locallyhewn funnyman talent: Robins, Hardy, droll Canadian expat Craig Campbell and, most splendidly, the brilliant neurosis-factory that is Jon Richardson.

FOR MORE ON 2011’S COMEDY HIGHLIGHTS, SEE WWW.VENUE.CO.UK

Laugh wits Bo Burnham and Angelos Epithemiou (above) made us proper giggle this year

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w w w. t he c o me dy b ox .c o.u k

// THE MONTH AHEAD // COMEDY CAVERN Mark Felgate

1.

2.

// Drop the Christmas shopping like a hot potato and scurry downstairs at the Comedy Cavern for a night in the company of this talented comic-cumventriloquist. Felgate uses no dummy – instead his set showcases his huge vocal range and ventriloskills, alongside a healthy dose of straightforward, High Street stand-up. Support comes from the affable stand-up-cum-sketch comic Luke McQueen.

WIDCOMBE SOCIAL CLUB Henning Wehn // Duck-voiced Deutsch deadpanner gives Bath audiences a look at his new show, a “meticulously planned and perfectly executed German Christmas Do”. Alongside his current stand-up show ‘No Surrender’, the trumpeting Teuton will be treating us (if that’s the word) to renditions of Germany’s favourite Christmas carols. Jawohl! Don’t be late.

MARK FELGATE PLAYS THE COMEDY CAVERN, BATH ON SUN 18 DEC. FFI: WWW.COMEDYCAVERN.CO.UK

4.

HENNING WEHN: CHRISTMAS SHOW IS AT WIDCOMBE SOCIAL CLUB, BATH ON THUR 1 DEC. FFI/TICKETS: WWW.BATHCOMEDY.COM

RONDO Tony Law // Canadian stoner dude, whom we reviewed at Bath’s Comedy Cavern a year or so back: “Unleashes a flood of strange, rambling stories. Not all hit the funnybone, but that’s part of the joy. He doesn’t rely on the usual tropes of comedy – there are no setups and precious few punchlines. If a joke fails, it’s pushed until it becomes funny through its failure. It’s a masterful performance.”

3.

KOMEDIA Jason Byrne // Freewheeling Irish comic, and a relatively rare sight out on the circuit, looks in on Bath as part of a national tour. Expect inspired, intelligent lunacy, on themes ranging from childhood eccentricity to holiday disasters. “Standup so joyous the clinically depressed should get it on prescription,” enthused our colleagues at Metro.

JASON BYRNE IS AT KOMEDIA, BATH ON THUR 1 DEC. FFI: WWW.KOMEDIA.CO.UK

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TONY LAW PLAYS THE RONDO THEATRE, BATH ON THUR 1 DEC. FFI: WWW.RONDOTHEATRE.CO.UK

COMEDY BOX Imran Yusuf

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// A brace of festive dates from this rising Anglo-Muslim comic, whose debut Edinburgh set ‘An Audience With…’ went down a storm last summer. “Full of energy, happiness and joie de vivre,” noted chortle.co.uk. “He’s no doom merchant lamenting his lack of luck with the ladies, but a man so full of fun that the audience can’t fail to warm to him. He has the feelgood factor on tap.”

IMRAN YUSUF IS AT THE COMEDY BOX, BRISTOL ON FRI 9 & SAT 10 DEC. FFI: WWW.THECOMEDYBOX.CO.UK

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Art

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GALLERIES, MUSEUMS AND MORE 1

Steven Wright has reasons to be cheerful about this year’s local art scene.

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It was Happy Half-Century to Arnolfini, Bristol’s everadventurous artspace, which celebrated its 50th year with a raft of exhibitions and events.

Arnolfini started above a bookshop on Clifton’s Triangle in 1961 (founders Jeremy Rees, Annabel Lawson – later Rees – and John Osborn, pictured inset). Also pictured: a scene from Cosima von Bonin’s playful exhibition at ’fini at the start of the year.

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Bristol’s community museum M Shed opened its doors this year and, while there’s plenty more inside to see than mere art, the new ’seum did give us one of the year’s more memorable shows: a retrospective for Martin Parr, long-time Bristol resident and unparalleled chronicler of us Brits at work, rest and play (pictured: members of East Side Roots, Bristol a community gardening cooperative).

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August’s See No Evil graffiti weekender-cum-block

party was a huge and hugely successful undertaking with a lasting legacy. Some 72 graffiti artists from across the globe and down the decades of graff history congregated in central Bristol to cover the unlovely 1960s expanses of Nelson and Rupert Streets in bold, colourful graffiti.

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Victoria Art Gallery gave us some brilliant shows this year, not least an exhibition of luminous stained glass by Mark Angus and the ever-captivating Bath Society of Artists summer blockbuster. Our favourite, though, was April-June’s ‘Bath Between the Snows’, the biggest show yet for the talented, prolific and oft-sighted Bath landscape painter Pete the Street (‘Milk Float and Snowfall, Queen Square’, pictured).

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Damien Hirst, Louise Bourgeois, Jack Vettriano and Tracey Emin have all adorned its walls and exterior this year, but our favourite artist on view at Bristol’s RWA

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11

this year, by a country mile, was the extraordinary Robert Lenkiewicz, subject of a solo show at the gallery back in the spring. A prolific, bohemian and hugely atmospheric painter of daily life, Lenkiewicz died in his adopted city of Plymouth in 2002: love, death, friendship, sex and loneliness were prevailing themes, and Lenkiewicz famously chose the outsider as the subject for his vivid, dramatic, people-thronged studies (‘Mr Harry’s Club, 1983’, pictured).

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This stunning image is by Marc Aspland FRPS, chief sports photographer for The Times, and is entitled ‘World Cup Final Save’. It was on view as part of the Royal Photographic Society’s 2011 Members’ Print Exhibition, which toured to the Central Gallery at Bath’s Royal United Hospital in Apr/May.

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This year we welcomed back Bath’s Holburne Museum of Art after the threeyear restoration of its elegant,

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For more news, reviews and extra pics, see venue.co.uk/art

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Mid-size Bath galleries like bo.lee, Edgar Modern, Rostra & Rooksmoor, Beaux Arts and Bath Contemporary have all continued to adventure, intrigue, excite and inspire this year. Pictured here is ‘Last Night of the Proms’, a typically fluid and sensuous Becky Buchanan abstract, at Edgar Modern until Sat 3 Dec.

parkland-fringed 18th-century mansion, complete with bold and beautiful glass café extension.

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‘Our Gang, Liverpool’, part of a fascinating retrospective for pioneering photojournalist John Chillingworth FRPS, at Bath’s Royal Photographic Society in October. Chillingworth’s fascinating set of images, entitled ‘The Innocence of Childhood’, showed children going about their business – playing, gossiping, plotting, loitering – in the bombed-out city centres of post-war Britain.

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In one of the more unusual and involving gallery spaces created in Bristol this year, a bunch of artists colonised the gracious old Victorian public convenience/ lav/privy/restroom/water closet/call-it-what-you-will on the corner of Woodland Road. Much of the painting, illustration, sonic art, sculpture, print and photography on view took the Victorian era and its key themes – recording and documenting the human figure and form, a fascination with nature and its preservation, and developments in technology – as inspiration.

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Once again, we loved the output at Bristol’s Lime Tree Gallery this year: beautiful, limpid landscapes from around the British Isles, including this beautiful oil painting (‘Pin Mill Barge’) of a Suffolk estuary at sunset by David Porteous-Butler. This was part of the gallery’s typically delicious ‘East Meets West’ group show back in March.

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pic credit: Helene Binet

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Art // THE MONTH AHEAD //

Got an event to list?

Submit it to us at venue.co.uk/ submit-a-listing

1.

SOIL SCULPTURES Peter Burke: Earthworks // Local artist Burke explores, via elegant, simple soil sculptures, the relationship between people, place and the earth, using local people as his subjects and, for his material, soils found within a 20-mile radius of Bath. Burke’s works start from the standpoint that “acknowledging the earth beneath our feet is the most fundamental means of establishing a sense of place, geology, history and society”.

XMAS GROUP SHOW The Art Box

EARTHWORKS IS AT THE VICTORIA ART GALLERY, BATH FROM 3 DEC-5 FEB. FFI: WWW.VICTORIAGAL.ORG.UK

2.

// The prolific Jamaica Street Artists bring back last year’s brilliant formula – a pop-up Christmas art exhibition and sale at The Showroom, an empty shop unit at the foot of Park Street. JSA promise a shopper’s paradise with cards and original paintings (Gemma Grundon, ‘Silent Sands’, pictured) – plus handpainted silk scarves, Bjorn Rune Lie’s printed T-shirts, floral screen prints by Hannah McVicar and much more.

GROUP SHOW Snap Artists

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// Another fine-looking festive group show, this time from the printmakers’ collective Snap. Their December exhibition features a range of handprinted artworks and gifts including limited-edition screenprints (‘Love Calls’ by Simon Tozer, pictured), cards, toys, ceramics, cushions, decorations and bags.

SNAP ARTISTS EXHIBIT AT SNAP, LOWER PARK ROW, BRISTOL UNTIL 23 DEC. FFI: WWW.SNAPSTUDIO.ORG.UK

5.

THE ART BOX IS AT THE SHOWROOM, BRISTOL FROM 8-23 DEC. FFI: WWW. JAMAICASTREETARTISTS. CO.UK

PHOTOGRAPHY Glyn Edmunds

4.

DREAMLIKE ART How Far is Heaven?

// Bath’s Royal Photographic Society gives some winter wall space to this Hampshire photographer, a devotee of old-skool photographic techniques. Edmunds’s fortes include street photography (such as this vast stone Buddha resting outside Silverprint photographic shop in central London), landscapes from the American West, figure studies and portraits.

GLYN EDMUNDS ARPS EXHIBITS AT THE ROYAL PHOTOGRAPHIC SOCIETY, FENTON HOUSE, WELLS RD, BATH FROM 1 DEC-13 JAN. FFI: WWW.RPS.ORG/FENTONHOUSE

LANDSCAPE PAINTING White Horses of Wiltshire

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// Landscapes (‘On a Pale Street’, pictured), nocturnes, interiors and nudes with a naïf, dreamlike quality and a sense of waiting magic, by Bristol painter Richard Cartwright. Mysterious figures, distorted buildings, soft evanescent glows and curious perspectives: Cartwright’s oil and pastel scenes are subtly and deliciously strange.

Usually painting after midnight, Cartwright finds that once darkness encroaches “you can see beyond the world’s hemisphere to the stars billions of miles away”. Art to observe with your eyes wide open.

RICHARD CARTWRIGHT: HOW FAR IS HEAVEN? IS AT THE ADAM GALLERY, BATH UNTIL 16 DEC. FFI: WWW.ADAMGALLERY.COM

// Artist and gallery owner Nick Cudworth exhibits his studies of Wiltshire’s various carved White Horses (‘Westbury Horse’, pictured), all in his precise, limpid and gently atmospheric Brotherhood of Ruralists style.

WHITE HORSES OF WILTSHIRE IS AT THE NICK CUDWORTH GALLERY, BATH THROUGHOUT DECEMBER. FFI: WWW. NICKCUDWORTH.CO.UK

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Snap Christmas Preview Saturday 3rd Dec from 12 noon until 6pm Come on in from the cold and join us in celebrating the season to be merry with festive refreshments and a gallery brimming with beautiful christmas gifts.

The December show features Snap Artists, all producing hand printed artworks and gifts including limited edition screenprints, hand printed cards, toys, ceramics, cushions, decorations and bags.

Show runs from Tuesday 22nd November until Friday December 23rd.

20-21 Lower Park Row, Bristol BS1 5B Web: www.snapstudio.org.uk Email: snap@snapstudio.org.uk Tel: 0117 376 3564 Open Tuesday to Saturday 10am – 6pm (Monday by appointment)

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// top ten // 10 from 11

Books

The bibliophiles at Foyles bookshop in Bristol pick some of their favourite books of the year.

Tomes from home

‘Children of Light and the Children of Darkness’ – Reinhold Niebuhr (Chicago University Press, £11.99) RELIGION/ POLITICS With questions of social justice and democracy occupying the thoughts of many, the reissue of this spirited and profound defence of democracy is extremely timely. The author was one of the great thinkers on social justice.

Joe Melia rounds up this month’s best books with a BrisBath connection.

Home for Christmas Cally Taylor (Orion, £6.99) – Another recent arrival in Bristol is Cally Taylor, whose debut novel ‘Heaven can Wait’ moved many readers and has secured her a growing following. Her latest is a seasonal delight that’s unashamedly full of classic rom-com fayre but beneath the gloss Taylor constantly displays her rich storytelling talent.

Household Worms Stanley Donwood (Tangent Books, £10) – Worth it just for the author’s brilliant cover, this latest collection of short stories from Radiohead’s artwork supremo is a complete gem. Beneath the despondent, gloomy tone, there’s a wit and hilarity in everything Bath-based Donwood writes that marks him out as a true original.

Limited first edition of 1,000 copies.

An Architectural History of Bristol Andor Harvey Gomme & Michael Jenner (Oblong Creative Ltd, £68) – A whopping price, yes, but this sumptuous volume is a stunning recreation and update of the authors’ seminal 1979 work, ‘Bristol: An Architectural History’.

With loads of new photos, text and

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featuring many buildings that have been constructed in the last 30 years, this magnificent work celebrates the architects as well as the buildings that have shaped one of the UK’s most diverse and effervescent architectural urban landscapes.

Early New York Subway Graffiti Keith Baugh (Tangent Books, £14.99) – One of the very few documented collections of the pioneering work of the subway writers of the early 70s. You can sense the wonder in the young Gloucestershire-based photographer’s eyes as he literally stumbles across this burgeoning phenomenon. A unique angle from a British photographer and set to rival the classic ‘Subway Art’ published in the 1980s.

Generation Vexed: Summer of Unrest Nikesh Shukla & Kieran Yates (Vintage Digital Kindle edition, £3.49) – One of the UK’s most exciting and versatile writers, Nikesh Shukla, has recently relocated to Bristol. Here he teams up with celebrated journalist Keiran Yates to explore the much-covered unrest of the summer from a fresh angle. Debunking the lost generation mythology that seems to have besotted the majority of commentators, Shukla and Yates strike a far more optimistic note, finding a generation of young people that are “proactive, sharp and motivated”. Essential reading.

THANKS ONCE AGAIN, TO THE FABULOUS FOYLES, 6 QUAKERS FRIARS, CABOT CIRCUS, BRISTOL, BS1 3BU, 0117 376 3975, WWW.FOYLES.CO.UK

Made in Bristol David Bolton (Redcliffe Press, £12.95) – An eyeopening look at the vast scope of inventions and trailblazing ideas that have come from the South West’s fair metropolis includes some surprising numbers like Ribena, which was created

by Bristol University scientist Vernon Charley in the 1930s.

Bolton avoids being too reverential but maintains a jaunty enthusiasm as he reveals the commitment and resilience of the makers and creators that have shaped significant corners of the modern experience.

‘The Story of Swimming’ – Susie Parr (Dewi Lewis Media Ltd, £25) HISTORY Susie Parr has written a beautiful book looking at the history of our relationship to swimming and water. Meticulously researched and beautifully illustrated, this book would make a perfect Christmas present for any water baby.

‘10,000 Zombies’ – David Hartman & Alexander Cox (New Holland, £10.99) HORROR/HUMOUR Want a book with a vast variety of gruesome zombies on show? Each page is divided into three parts – a head, a torso and legs – so you can mix and match them to your heart’s content, whilst on the opposite page the similarly split paragraphs mean you get an almost limitless collection of mini stories.

‘Leonardo at the Court of Milan’ – Luke Syson & Larry Keith (The National Gallery, £40) ART Is the exhibition at the National Gallery the art event of the year? Most likely.

This exquisite exhibition catalogue is certainly one of the books of the year.

The reproductions capture the subtle harmonies of Leonardo’s sublime works.

‘Angie Lewin: Plants and Places’ – Leslie GeddesBrown (Merrell, £25) ART A perfect gift for plant lover, pattern lover and design lover. It

looks at Lewin’s inspirations and the process she goes through to create her prints.

‘I, Partridge: We Need to Talk About Alan’ – Alan Partridge (HarperCollins, £19.99) AUDIO BOOK/HUMOUR North Norfolk’s best – and best-loved – broadcaster reads aloud his critically acclaimed new memoir, unabridged and in its full soulbaring, score-settling glory. Fans of Alan’s TV and radio work will not be disappointed.

‘Rain Tree’ – Mirabel Osler (Bloomsbury, £20) MEMOIR Refreshingly down to earth, often amusingly selfdeprecating, this is a beautiful memoir in which Osler reflects on the twists and turns of life, friendship, gardening and her late husband. In part the book is a dedication to the artist Stella Bowen, who was her mum’s best friend and a surrogate aunt.

‘Simply Wonderwoman’ – Joanna Gosling (Kyle Books, £17.99) SELF-HELP This book was written with busy women in mind, but is also a wonderful present for even the most laidback: a beautifully presented book of tips for around the house and garden with a section on kids too. There are moneysaving tips, creative/gift projects and simple ideas to keep your life less cluttered.

‘The Incomplete Tim Key’ – Tim Key (Canongate, £12.99) HUMOUR The winner of 2009’s Edinburgh Comedy Award, Tim Key is a poet. Or at least something akin to one. He certainly writes poems, 300 or so of which he presents here.

Key’s writing is uniquely off-kilter, often strangely poignant and very funny.

‘The Night Circus’ – Erin Morgenstern (Harvill, £12.99) FICTION Find yourself transported to the circus of your dreams in this wonderfully imaginative debut novel: in the late 19th century, two illusionists compete at inventing ever more impressive circus shows. A playful mix of magic, dark intrigue, romance and imagination.

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DaysOut

family fun and trips away

Get out now!

The turkey’s gobbled, the buck’s fizz’s flat and ‘Strictly Celebrities on Ice Factor’ just isn’t washing. Joe Spurgeon eyes up a bunch of up and at ’em activities for the ‘dead week’ between Dec 25 and NYE. Research: Fiona Morrison THESE ROUTES ARE MADE FOR WALKING If you live in Bristol or Bath and don’t own a pair of seasonhardened sturdy walkers, you deserve to be exiled. To Milton Keynes. With the Somerset Levels, the Quantocks, the Mendips, the Cotswolds and the glorious wooded city parklands all on our doorsteps, we’ve some of the most majestic countryside in the UK – nay, the world – awaiting exploration.

Walking frees the limbs, the mind and lubricates conversation, y’know. Here’s a couple of suggestionettes for all ye outdoors adventurists: • The Festival of Winter Walks (“Britain’s Biggest Walking Festival”) rolls out from Sun 18 Dec-Mon 2 Jan with the inimitable Bristol Ramblers organising six free group walks around Bristol and Bath including two testing annual favourites: the 16-mile Solstice Stomp, which starts at sunrise and ends at sunset on the Sun 18 Dec (meet at Bath Spa train station, 7.55am), and a 12-mile New Year’s Day hike up Crook Peak in the Mendips (meet at 9am at Great George Street, Bristol). There are easier, shorter ones for the less fleet of foot, too. To find a walk, or for more info, see: www.ramblers.org. uk/walksfinder • Hook yourself up with The National Trust App. Fun as it is making your face fat or slapping a cat unconscious, there are some genuinely useful iPhone/Android apps in the marketplace and this one is the gift that keeps on giving.

Find your nearest National Trust destination, take a look around and gen up on your chosen park, walk or house with info on opening times, events and history as well

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as some devilishly handy maps.

And who doesn’t love maps? Some beautiful country walks include routes around Somerset’s Chedder Gorge; Brean Down – “one of the most striking landmarks of the Somerset coastline”; Dyrham Park, near Bath – “dramatic deer park on the edge of the stunning Cotswold escarpment”; and the famous Bristol-Bath Railway Walk for both pedestrians and cyclists, with stacks of sights, sculpture and plenty of pubs en route.

Don’t own a snazzphone? Hop over to www.nationaltrust.org. uk/walks and view or download the walk of your choice: coastal paths, cycle routes, wildlife walks, protected landscapes, nature trails and more.

TALKING OF THE NATIONAL TRUST… One of our local NT favourites has its finger firmly on the festive button this year. The atmospheric Victorian mansion at Tyntesfield might be closed, but for the first time the sprawling 500-acre estate, shop and restaurant are open every day of the year (except Christmas day). Wrap up warm and meander through the dense woodland, rolling parkland and shapely gardens and earn your foodie fill at Tyntesfield’s Cow Barn restaurant, which is serving seasonal feasts (and much of it plucked from Tyntesfield’s fertile kitchen garden) with a set menu for eight people or more costing £14 for two courses or £16 for three.

They’ll even throw free entry to the gardens into the price. Go in the run-up to Christmas, and you’ll find carol concerts in the chapel and you may even bump

into the gift-laden beardy one, too. Ffi: www.nationaltrust.org.uk/ tyntesfieldchristmas LET’S GET QUIZZICAL Finding family feuds over Monopoly a bit much? The neutral battleground of the boozer might prove a safer environment for your fix of mental warfare. May we recommend: • The Hill in Cotham, Bristol, who host a night of Speedquizzing (“the most awesome pub quiz in Bristol”) on Mon 26 Dec at 8.30pm wherein iPhone or Android phone-owners download a special speedquiz app which then connects to the pub’s own knowledge network and allows you to buzz in with your answers as quickly as possible. The fastest – across this, and three other pubs – wins.

Fun. Ffi: 0117 973 3793, www. barroombar.com • Over at No. 51 in Stokes Croft, Bristol, you’ll find the latest instalment of their interactive Blankety Quiz (Tue 27 Dec, 9pm) which follows a different theme each week with rounds

covering current affairs, anagrams, video clips and projections. Ffi: www.51stokescroft.com • …and just up the road, on the site of the former Hobgoblin pub, Madame Geneva’s hosts a Christmas-themed fun quiz on Wed 28 Dec at 8.30pm with free (yes, free) turkey sandwiches. Gobble, gobble.

• Live in Bath? Like a spot of alfresco quizzing? The Cork host ➞

Winter wonderland: Tyntesfield at Christmas; above: No. 51 in Stokes Croft - perfect for a spot of post-turkey brain exercise

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Sales Executive Please send your CV and a covering letter explaining why you would be suitable for the role to Becky Davis Advertising Manager b.davis@venue.co.uk No agencies please.

Venue is an equal opportunities employer.

You will have a strong track record in media sales with excellent presentation skills, be highly organised and thrive on the challenge of achieving revenue targets. You need to have a professional telephone manner together with the ability to maximize the revenue from our existing customer base and to develop new business by cold-calling. You will thrive on achieving targets and delivering an excellent service for our advertisers.

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www.venue.co.uk/subs 0117 934 3741 SUBSCRIBE TO THE NEW MONTHLY VENUE – JUST £2.99

For loads of days out ideas, see venue.co.uk/daysout

From l-r: Bristol Cathedral build a seasonal wall of sound; catch some air at Avon Ski and Action Centre; Bruce Munro's 'Field of Light' in Bath; and below: make a hound happy with a canine-friendly getaway

a freeform quiz every Sunday (except Christmas Day itself) at 8pm on the heated terrace with sport, current affairs, history, geography and more on the menu: prizes include booze AND cash! Yes! Ffi: www.thecork.co.uk IT’S A KIND OF MAGIC Choirs at the Cathedral, enchanted forests, soul-nourishing spas and twinkling fields of light… slip into something a little wondrous why don’t you? Like: • Whatever your theological persuasion, you can’t argue with religion’s musical pedigree and penchant for era-defining architecture: The Bristol Cathedral’s choral evensong sung by the Dutch Project Carol Choir on Wed 28 Dec at 3.30pm and the American Choir Concert on Fri 30 Dec at 7.30pm will showcase both at their glorious best. Ffi: www. bristol-cathedral.co.uk • Believe your eyes at Bath’s Holburne Museum with Bruce Munro’s extraordinary Field of Light: a huge, alfresco light installation (including 5,000 bulbs, acrylic stems and frosted spheres lit by a colour projector) that’ll fill the museum’s Sydney Gardens with a swirlingly amorphous, twilight blanket of luminous colour until 8 Jan. Ffi: www.holburne.org • Wander The Enchanted Forest of the national arboretum of Westonbirt: though the really spectacular stuff unfolds pre-

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Christmas (until 18 Dec) – including the one-mile illuminated trail, the Christmas choirs and children’s wonderland – the heavenly ecosphere is open all Christmas and is very possibly one of the most ludicrously beautiful alfresco art galleries penned by the wintry brush of mother nature. Take a camera, take an easel, take your time. Ffi: www.forestry.gov.uk • Hydro therapy, hot stone massage, body wraps, facials – we don’t even know what they all mean but we do know Bath’s Thermae Spa is open every day except 25 and 26 Dec to soothe all your achy, breaky pains and pressure. Go on, we’re all worth it.

Ffi: www.thermaebathspa.com CHOOSE TO CRUISE Float down the twists and turns of the 87-mile Kennet and Avon Canal with Bath Narrowboats (Sydney Wharf, Bath, 01225 447276, www.bath-narrowboats.co.uk) and tick off the manifold historical curios any day except Christmas and Boxing Day. If you’re fed up with turkey offcuts and fancy a spot of fine dining, the heated, luxury floating restaurant boat can host between six and ten people, and you can head out on a day-trip, or have a mini winter holiday by hiring a narrowboat for as long as you like. Hankering for terra firma? You can also explore the towpath and beyond on wheels by hiring some of Bath

Narrowboats’ mountain bikes. Or you can get active on the water by kayaking or canoeing till your heart’s content (or your arms give in). Try the Bristol-based Outside Element (0797 470 3129, www. theoutsideelement.co.uk) for bookings.

SNOW BUSINESS With experts making claims there’ll be a mini Ice Age this winter, the craggy old South West might just be coming over all Aspen, but if the snow turns to sludge come Christmas, the Avon Ski and Action Centre – with its lofty perch and stunning views over Bristol Channel – is open every day between 26-30 Dec from 9am to 10pm for all your ski/ snowboarding needs. They cater for fearless kids and breakable adults of all ages and a couple of lessons (they also do gift vouchers) might even solve that bothersome Christmas present dilemma you’ve been wrestling with. Prices start from £13/hour for juniors. Ffi: www.avonski.co.uk

co.uk), their latest hand-picked volume of not just dog-friendly, but dog-worshipped places to stay from 1940s showhomes to remote local inns and elegant country piles. As well as offering runarounds in the garden and treats behind the bar, each property owner can recommend the best local walks, woods and beaches as well as nearby picnic spots and pubs. And, as usual, each place has been visited, checked and given the prestigious Sawday’s ‘Special Place’ seal of approval. Woof, woof.

DOG DAYS Mess, noise, mess, chaos, mess…

If your own four walls are getting you down after some sustained seasonal abuse, then there’s only one thing for it: er, a new set of walls. Ace Bristol publishing powerhouse Sawday’s has just released Dog-Friendly Breaks in Britain (£14.99, www.sawdays.

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Cours es also availa ble in Worce ster

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Skills

COURSES, WORKSHOPS, JOBS AND STUFF

Circle rules, ok?

An innovative game combines getting fit with thinking outside of the box: Simon Fry gave circle rules football a spin.

S

ince May this year a growing band of Bristolians have been among the few people in the UK taking part in a truly fascinating pastime. Circle rules football originated in 2006 when New York University drama student Greg Manley, who had played soccer, basketball and American football while growing up, set out to devise a new sport for his senior independent project (aka a thesis for actors). When Manley visited Bristol for this year’s Igfest games festival, a Facebook group was formed to spread the word in Venueland.

I go along to Queen Square one Thursday evening (winter games are staged on an ad hoc basis – check Twitter or Facebook), where, as players gather, organiser David Otridge, a former website

designer, inflates the 50cm diameter ball. Stakes are hammered into turf to support a single set of goalposts at the centre of a circular pitch, wherein cones designate a smaller, inner ‘key’ area. Goals are scored by the ball passing through the goalposts either right-to-left or left-to-right, depending on the team.

Said teams are distinguished by ribbons, which are worn around players’ foreheads and are brought along by Jess, an illustrator/animator who had them left over from another Igfest game. “Before the ribbons we just tried to remember who was on our teams! I also had pink and green ribbons, but the battle of red and blue is a tale as old as time.”

The sport resembles Gaelic football in that the ball can be handled. Men and women play in the same team and

as play progresses it’s clear chaps reared on the beautiful game are comfortable with the ball at their feet while ladies used to netball incline to deft handiwork. Height is a distinct advantage; ‘Big Dave’, routinely first-picked but not playing tonight, can hold the ball aloft beyond the reach of all, to devastating and comical effect.

Bemused passers-by delay their journey home from work to take in proceedings.

“That’s the best game in the world,” declares one suit who’s possibly just left Graze. He’s not being entirely serious; he’s not entirely sober.

After watching from the sidelines David invites me to join in and I run on like an enthusiastic football substitute sent up front to nab a late winner. However, once amid the action I’m struck by the game being played in 360 degrees; it’s spatial rather

than linear (participants don’t allocate themselves ‘positions’ on the pitch) and the same player can go from defending to scoring in around three seconds, requiring great mental and physical agility. As in rugby, you often have to go backwards to go forwards.

Quickly accustomed to this concept, I position myself in an attacking position, confident a team-mate will pick me out once they’ve regained possession. Sure enough, an inviting ball is lobbed back over the crossbar and I’m on hand – literally – to punch it into the goal in Maradona style.

It’s a slightly euphoric moment; it’s great fun to have immediately got to grips with the game’s intuitive, clever nature and greatly satisfying to see my goal go in. As in chess you have to think several steps ahead to ensure you’re positioned to succeed;

The circle game: requires physical and mental agility

“I truly believe it wouldn’t be out of place at the Olympics if it ever gained the popularity needed.”

David Otridge, circle rules footballer 86 // december 2011

Skills 975.indd 86

venuemagazine

11/22/2011 6:25:16 PM

Got an event to list?

Submit it to us at venue.co.uk/ submit-a-listing

// Skills news //

Circle rules football: it's the accessibility that separates it from other sports

Guitar and bass and drum heroes… Winning trimmings… Your precious (metal)…

unlike chess, teamwork is of the essence and I’m made very welcome by the circle rules inner circle.

Tonight’s other new arrivals pick up the sport instantly.

Indeed, passers-by regularly join in. “The most interesting was Nate, an American,” says David. “He came to England from the Philippines to meet a friend in Bristol and visit Stonehenge. After a few minutes getting used to the rules he was soon running the show. He said he was down in Bristol for four days, but he returned for a second and third week! He claimed it was the game keeping him here.”

David is justly enthusiastic.

“I truly believe it wouldn’t be out of place at the Olympics if it ever gained the popularity needed. Its accessibility is one thing separating it from other sports.” His words ring true, with players of all shapes, sizes and athletic inclinations taking great enjoyment from the evening’s exercise. David, a Spurs fan, is one of several participants who’ve come to circle rules from football.

Numerous others with no interest in the sport play an equal part in collective competition.

For all its differences to standard football, however, similarities remain. As Jess collects the ribbons dripping with sweat after the evening’s action, she warns: “I can’t guarantee to bring them next week. Or if I do, remember to wash them…”

FFI: TWITTER: @CIRCLERULESUK FACEBOOK: CIRCLE RULES

venuemagazine

Skills 975.indd 87

// Those with 7-18­-year-olds keen to break into the music biz should check out The Rock Project, a national school of rock and pop meeting termtime Tuesdays at Horfield Baptist Church (juniors 4-6pm, seniors 6.15-8.15pm). The project provides professional guitar, bass and drum tutorage to young people keen to put their musical skills into practice by performing regularly as part of a band.

Two-hour sessions including lessons, ‘plug and play’ time, singing and a ‘music master’ offer the chance to learn about genres, theory and history.

As students progress, the aim is to form bands to perform in the end-of-year showcase concert.

Students will also be able to work towards The Rock School qualifications. Ffi: www.therockproject.com or matt@therockproject.com.

THE RULES Some quirky regulations keep Bristol’s players on their toes – or not, as the case may be…

1 Rather than a toss, ends are decided by a ‘down-up’, requiring one player from each team going from standing to having both shoulder blades on the floor to standing in the quickest time.

2 If it’s raining, ends are decided by rock-paperscissors.

3 The ball is returned to play via a double kick, wherein it is kicked with both feet simultaneously.

4 All players may touch the ball with any body part but the ball cannot be held between two points of contact.

// Nurture the craftsperson within with these two cracking creative Crimbo offerings.

Local artist Lizzie Wakefield’s cool paper toys (pictured) are easy and fun to make but they’ll impress your Yule guests no end. Modern, mini and decidedly marvellous, the range currently includes a reindeer, Santa and penguin plus a robin perfect for the City fan in your life. They make extraordinarily funky cards too!

Alternatively, there’s an invitation to Deck the Halls the Victorian Way with a Christmas decoration-making workshop and winter walk in enchanting Arnos Vale. Tickets are £7 per family (two adults and up to three children) to make ecofriendly cards, table pieces and ornaments out of biodegradable materials. Choose from 10-11am, 11.30am-12.30pm or 1-2pm slots on Tuesday 20 December. Ffi: Lizzie Wakefield betwuk@hotmail. com or creativeskidoo.blogspot.com; Arnos Vale 0117 971 9117 or info@arnosvale.org.uk // If there’s a silver lining to winter’s cold and darkness, it’s the resumption of local silversmith Alice Goldsack’s ace jewellery classes. Alice stages five classes over the course of a week with the first 12-week term starting on Monday 9 January.

She recently moved into a very swanky workshop in King Square (Venue copped for free vino at the launch, cheers), with her new premises the perfect environment in which to up your skills in a supportive atmosphere while creating something beautiful. Ffi: www.alicegoldsack.com

december 2011 // 87

11/22/2011 6:26:58 PM

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975 Classifieds.indd 88

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• You will need to be available for 6 to 8 hours per week.

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venuemagazine

11/23/2011 4:35:21 PM

Horse about With party season breaking out, Darryl W. Bullock picks out some of the more interesting events taking place in December.

U

nderground disco Horseplay is hosting two specials this month.

The club night, which began in April as an alternative to Bristol’s mainstream gay scene, is fronted by resident DJs (or ‘Jockeys’, to continue the horsey theme) PonyM, Jim Carna and Bronco, a trio who have spun records at various nights across the city. The three boys share a love of alternative dance music: the soundtrack at Horseplay is inspired by the New York disco and early house scene and the alternative gay scene in London, Berlin, Paris and Brooklyn. As PonyM tells me: “We wanted to create somewhere for queer guys and girls to hang out, that played great music and had an alternative feel.” Held in a basement club in St Nicholas’ Market, Horseplay is a mixed night where stallions and fillies of all persuasions can get sweaty together.

“It doesn’t matter who you are or what you are wearing, as long as you’re up for a sleazy, sexy disco,” he adds.

For their 16 December party Horseplay has invited electro-disco queen Ronika to play a guest DJ set. Hailed as ‘the Madonna of the Midlands’, the multitalented singer, songwriter, remixer, DJ and video director has a trainspotter love of disco and an obsession with programming beats. She’s already won significant respect for her homespun mix of classic dance and crisp, modern pop; her last EP drew comparisons with the likes of Gwen Stefani, Prince, Robyn and the Tom Tom Club.

The formidable Drags Aloud come to Komedia this Christmas

venuemagazine

Gay 975.indd 89

Horseplay’s second club night is a New Year’s Eve party at The Phoenix.

“With clubs like Wonky, Psycho:Drama and Horseplay all catering to different alternative niches, Bristol is becoming an exciting place for alternative homos to hang out,” says PonyM. “For 2012 Horseplay have plans to add even more to the alternative homo calendar.”

Over in Bath the highlight of the month has to be the return to Komedia, on 18 December, of the outrageous Australian drag act Drags Aloud, with their new show ‘Showgurl’, a fast-paced, over-the-top, laugh-till-it-hurts night of comedy which takes a glittering look into the mystical world of the showgirl in her many manifestations: beauty queen, model, dancer, burlesque star and more.

With sell-out shows across the globe and countless awards under their belts, the fabulously camp troupe’s usual overthe-top mime sequences are punctuated by poignant, dramatic and comic stories as they each tell how they were pulled on to the drag stage. This is drag in the finest Priscilla tradition, but with added intelligence and insight. Their stilettosharp satire dissects the culture of body image, beauty and glamour with overthe-top costumes, fierce hair and their trademark irreverence and hilarity. The girls always go down well at Komedia, and this really will be a night that should not be missed. Tickets £17/£38 (includes three-course festive meal).

FFI: WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/ HORSEPLAYBRISTOL AND WWW.KOMEDIA. CO.UK

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EVENTS NOT TO MISS IN DECEMBER Dec 1 // Halcyon Bristol: Should You Be ‘In’ or ‘Out’ With Clients? The Atrium, Lloyds Banking Group, Harbourside, Bristol, BS1 5LV, 6.30pm. Ffi: www.halcyonnetwork.com • Hosted in partnership with Lloyds’s Rainbow Network, the group for gay professionals holds a lively and interesting debate as well as doing its bit to recognise World Aids Day.

Dec 10 // Liberty’s Pre-Christmas Party Toto’s Bar, 125 Redcliffe St, Bristol, BS1 6HU, 9pm-2am, £6/£5 before 11pm or from liberty.bristol@live.co.uk Ffi: libertybristol.co.uk • Bristol’s only regular women-only club night hosts a special Xmas-themed shindig, with DJ Alex on the decks and Liberty’s own Mother Christmas.

Dec 2-4 // Southern HiBearNation Various venues inc the Old Market Tavern, Old Market St, Bristol, BS2 0HB. Ffi: www. southernhibearnation.co.uk • Three days of furry fun for Bears, cubs and their admirers kick off on Friday night with a meet and greet at the OMT before moving on to the Retreat for Bear Factory.

Other highlights include the Back to the Future retro disco at Flamingos on Saturday night (tickets £5) and Sunday carvery at the OMT.

Dec 11 // CycleOut Bristol Meet by King William Statue, Queen Sq, Bristol, Ffi: http://tiny.cc/ cycleoutbristol • Daytime ride to Berkeley. Bring food and bicycle lights: wrap up for cold, possibly wet weather. Riders should be back in Bristol by 4pm.

Dec 6 // Transgender Awareness Session Southville Centre, Beauley Rd, Southville, Bristol, BS3 1QG, 1-3.30pm, from £35 (adv booking essential). Ffi: jack.horwood@ equalitysouthwest.org.uk • Equality South West host an introductory session to look at issues surrounding transgender status, personal identity and gender reassignment as defined by Equality Act 2010. The session looks at personal journeys and the issues faced by the trans community in the South West.

Dec 8 // Equalities Impact Assessment Seminar Council House, College Green, Bristol, BS1 5TR, 9.30am-4pm.

Contact equalities.team@ bristol.gov.uk or 0117 922 2329 to register • Bristol City Council presents its budget proposals and shares its analysis of the impact of savings proposals on equalities communities. After each presentation people will be invited to comment on proposals. You can also make written comments which will be taken into account.

Dec 14 // Clare Teal St George’s Bristol, Great George St, off Park St, Bristol, BS1 5RR. Ffi: www.stgeorgesbristol.co.uk • Clare Teal hits the road to promote her new album ‘Hey Ho’. Winner of British Jazz Singer of the Year in both 2005 and 2007, and BBC Jazz Singer of the Year 2006, Clare’s Festive Fiesta mixes up her unique blend of seasonal swing, cheeky Latin grooves and cosy fireside ballads in a fabulous 1950s-themed cocktail party of songs made famous by the likes of Peggy Lee, Doris Day, Bing Crosby, Nat King Cole and Ella Fitzgerald.

Dec 18 // Drags Aloud Komedia, 22-23 Westgate St, Bath, BA1 1EP, 8.30pm (doors 6pm for diners), from £17. Ffi: www. komedia.co.uk/bath • See feature.

Dec 31 // Horseplay NYE The Phoenix, 1 Wellington Buildings, Champion Sq, Bristol, BS2 9DB, free.

Ffi: www.facebook.com/ horseplaybristol • See AUGUST 2011 // 89 feature.

HUNGRY FOR MORE? Flip the page for Venue & Folio’s food & drink mini-mag, Eating Out West

Lesbian&Gay

// THE MONTH AHEAD //

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11/22/2011 7:01:41 PM