Verboten June 2014

VERBØTEN Fetish/BDSM/Leather

Mr NJ Leather 2014:

Keith Govert

Chicago’s Bondage Hotel

KINK in KANSAS: 9th Annual Kinky Karnival

JUNE 2014

E-MAGAZINE

FASHION:

Back to the 50s

APERTURE:

London Calling

Head North: Alaskan Adventure

PYROMANIA: A Night of Fire

Photo: Mark Hartman Model: Christina Lynn Gasper

CØNTENTS

FASHION 06 BEAUTY 08 PEOPLE 10 1950s Household

Michael James: How to Get A Close Shave Pandora Black: Pandora’s Picks

Keith Govert Mr New Jersey Leather 2014

PLACES 12

9th Annual Kinky Karnival A Touch of Flavor: Baltimore Northern Exposure Chicago Dungeon Rentals

RECAP 16

A Night of Fire International Mr Leather 2014

EX LIBRIS 20 APERTURE 26 RELATIONSHIPS 28

Ben Rushton, London Fetish Photography Dom FAQ: TOG~ Sub FAQ: slave Feyrie A Better Use for Yellow Caution Tape, JimPixLa

SAVOIR FAIRE 30 VIEWPOINT 32

Kink 101: Defining Your Role: Part II, Gwen Balanos Unpopular Opinons, Steel

VERBĂ˜TEN E-MAGAZINE

Editrix: Mrs Smith Web Director: Mr Smith

Monthly Contributors: Candy Lust, Pandora Black, Michael James, The Old Generation (TOG~), slave Feyrie, Lauryn Ibsen, Gwen Balanos, Steel

Photo by Scott Saw, Vixen Photography

Photo by Keke Noir, Peepshow Stuidos

Fashion

ModCloth.com, $80

Deadly Dames, $102

Pinup Couture, $118

Like the Lolita fashion, there are many sub-genres to the 1950s Household look.

The wholesome housewife wearing the V-neck and tight birdie sleeves (top left) or summer halter top dress (page left) has the distinct 1950s look. For the “little” especially the teen, don’t forget there is a whole look possible for you in this fashion. Choose between the wholesome Sandra Dee with saddle shoes (bottom left) or the juvenile delinquent look (far left) waiting for her “leader of the pack” boyfriend. With this genre, it’s all about which side you wish to be on: the obedient housewife or the seductress vixen. Who are you?

1950s Household

Like other fashion statements, do not forget to accessorize.

Wide plastic belts were popular with any outfit and you will need a good petticoat to really emphasize that full 50s skirt or dress. For shoes, you can get away with a simple black patent pump at Payless, or go on a limb with something more colorful. Whether you have money to drop on a Prada hot rod-inspired shoe or get a seasonal classic wedge for summer, remember don’t be afraid to experiment with color.

PinupGirlClothing.com, $16

“Nadira” by Paper Fox, $49

“Flame” by Prada, $737

“Amuse” by Bordello, $35

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“Merva” by Madison, $50

Beauty by

Videos available in digital version www.v3rboten.com

JAMES

Beauty

MICHAEL

How to Apply Bottom Lashes

How to Get the Perfect Shave 8

PANDORA’S PICKS

Aveda, $27

Aveda, $34

This weekly deep conditioner will leave damaged, overprocessed hair stronger, smoother, and more manageable. It has literally saved my damaged hair, and made it able to take color better.

Looking for a good flat iron? LOOK NO FURTHER. These are what we use at my beauty school, and it’s probably the best flat iron I’ve ever used, hands down. Yes, it’s an investment, but it allows you to set it to a precise temperature to avoid burning your hair, and it gets hot enough to straighten even the curliest, most course hair.

Before you flat iron your hair, you need to have some heat protection, and it’s best to have something that helps to manage frizz as well. This will get your hair pin straight and smooth in a flash!

John Masters, $16

Bumble and Bumble, $29

folica, $130

Aveda, $27

If you have dry, brittle, or over-processed hair, I can’t recommend this stuff enough. I’ve bleached my hair relentlessly and it makes even my hair feel soft. The shampoo itself almost feels like a conditioner. The conditioner is super moisturizing and leaves your hair silky soft.

Pandora Black

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Whether you wear your hair curly or straight, this hair oil will nourish your hair, protect against future damage, and defrizz. Plus, it’s organic! Just a few drops are all you need, so one bottle lasts a long time.

Mr New Jersey Leather 2014

People Keith Govert

Photo by Pete Philomey

QA &

Hometown: I was raised in Beachwood, New Jersey.

Relationship Status: I am currently in a Polyamorous relationship

with two amazing men who I am proud to have at my side. Michael, my partner and boy whom I have been with for about 10 months, and Kevin who has been our boyfriend for about 5 months.

Leather Club: I am an associate member of the Jersey Boys of Leather and also an associate member to the Jersey Amazons (Leather Women of NJ).

Favorite Food: I am a HUGE foodie, but I’d have to say I am known for searching the best Chicken Parmesan out there everywhere I go.

Favorite Film: Victor/Victoria has always been my all time favorite.

Favorite Fetish: HUGE fan of jockstraps! Teases the eye with a beautiful back view.

Favorite Music Album: This is tough. I love all kinds of music.

I wish I knew how to: I have always wanted to learn how to play the violin or sing. Great ways to get many emotions out in a great form of art.

Do you have any plans to run for IML? Yes I am. With all my amazing IML 36 brothers, I don’t envy the judges. They are all great guys with so much love and passion.

What has being titled Mr. NJ Leather been like for you? Since the night I heard my name announced to now, it has been the most amazing, life changing journey I am completely honored and humbled by!

What was your first reaction when your name was announced? Completely breathless. I almost did not believe it until all eyes were on me and my babyboy (Michael) was jumping up and down in complete hysterics.

Who was the first person you wanted to hug? My babyboy. Without him by my side and his patience, love, and strength, I don’t know how I could have ever stayed so calm and collected.

Tell us about the leather community in New Jersey.

The New Jersey Leather community is more of a family. They accept, love, and embrace everyone for who and what they are no matter what. When you are part of our family, you’re in it for good.

Will you have a pet project or charity? Right now I have quite a few ideas in mind. Mostly I want to really open the minds and hearts to the LGBTQ community that is out there and just need that person or people to understand them, love them. advice for young men getting into Leather? First, know why. Ask yourself, “Why do I want to be a part of this community?” Once you know why, then just embrace everything you can and let the true you come out. Be proud of that person!

Places to Go

Kinky Kansas www.kinkykarnivalks.com

Kansas is synonymous with wheat fields, The Wizard of Oz and Tornado Alley, but once you make your way to Wichita on the second weekend in June, you will not be talking about wheat and weather advisories.

Hailed as the biggest event in Kansas, Kinky Karnival started in a backyard with several tents covering the elements, which is why the tent is still used with prevalence in all their logos.

For the money you pay, right now you can participate in the entire weeked for only $75 per person. This entrance fee covers classes, a Saturday lunch, two play parties, goodie bag and vendors. Then there’s Kinky Kash. For every dollar you spend with the vendors, the hotel, admittance fee, you receive one dollar in Kinky Kash. You can

then turn these in for a chance to buy items from the Kinky Kontry Store. The store is only open during specific times so it’s a good idea to keep track of the times as well as your Kinky Kash points. There are different ways to receive more points like volunteering or donating items to the store.

The coordinators have created a Presenters’ Auction to help deffray costs of the presenter travel expenses. Presenters come from all over the country and use their personal time and money to teach others.

The items are all donated and the proceeds of the cash auction are split between the presenters. Not many events do this, so this makes the Kansas community truly stand out. There is still time to donate items.

Email wichitakarnivalks@yahoo.com.

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Photo by Handfull

9th Annual Kinky Karnival Wichita, KS

June 13-15

Lady Elsa

Master Paledine

CLASS SCHEDULE Friday

3-4 pm Cane Making - Kannd

Master Dennis

Saturday

9:45 am - 10:45 am Negotiating With Strangers - Lady Elsa Erotic Touch - Sir Randy Whip Making - Master Paledine

You never know who’s going to show up (top). And you never know what’s going to happen (bottom).

11 am - Noon Sensual Sharps Play - Handfull Rope & Bamboo - Master Robert Bastinado - Master Dennis 2 pm -3 pm When Straight Met Queer - Lady Elsa Fire, Ice & Wax - Sir Randy Pressure Points - Master Paledine 3:15 pm - 4:15 pm Clips, Clamps & Clothespins: Lady Elsa Transparency in M/s - Master Dennis How To Tame A Dragontail - Sir Randy 4:30 pm - 5:30 pm Staple Blood Play - Master Dennis Pervertables - Kaand Bondage for Punishment Pain - Master Robert

Master Robert

Handfull

Sir Randy

People and Places If you live in the South, you know that three things happen every late spring/ early summer without fail: allergies, hurricane season and the SouthEastern LeatherFest, better known as SELF. This is all overseen by the ever fabulous Lady Catherine Gross. This month, Verboten had a chance to ask a few questions of the very busy Lady Catherine.

VERBOTEN: After 19 years, what have been the significant changes at SELF?

LADY CATHERINE: We have been part of many contest systems over the years. We were part of the Drummer community that is now the International LeatherSIR LeatherBoy contests. We were host to International Master/slave contest for years. SELF went from being a leather run to an event. The change was more in perception than any difference at the event. When the word ‘leather’ was part of our name it was more of an umbrella term for all communities not a perceived niche community. We have even numbers of populations mixing younger with older people.

We are fairly even in numbers of gay, queer, metrosexual and pansexual communities. The value of being diverse has allowed a tremendous amount of sharing and a feeling that you can be who you are without being judged but being welcomed instead.

VERBOTEN: Can you give a few secrets on how you and your staff have retained SELF’s longevity and continued growth?

LADY CATHERINE: There have been a lot of dynamic people who have served on our board and staff over the years. Their energy has allowed SELF to prosper. We’re in a huge growth period now and I believe that has to do with the significant changes we’ve made.

Opening up our contest so weekend attendees can vote on contest categories has been received with tremendous excitement. I don’t think it’s a secret — it is being blessed with people who are willing to donate hundreds of hours of work a year to make the weekend happen. They are committed people. Without people willing to be a board member, a staff member and volunteer at the event, we wouldn’t be able to create SELF annually. It is also that we are supported by sponsors and groups. They allow us the means to keep our ticket prices one of the most inexpensive in the country for what we offer.

VERBOTEN: How do you do it after all these years, refreshed and reinvigorated every year?

LADY CATHERINE: We change the programming every year. There is always some piece of SELF that is new. Some years we make significant changes. This is one of those years and we’ve been so excited to create a weekend that is radically different. It is a willingness to risk and be different which keeps creative energy flowing and motivation plentiful.

WORD ON THE STREET

Mr DC Eagle Ramien Pierre Wins IML 2014

CHICAGO - Ramien Pierre, Mr. DC Eagle 2014, was named International Mr. Leather 2014 at the 36th annual International Mr Leather competition, held this past weekend.

Over the past 36 years, more than 1,700 men have competed for the title of International Mr. Leather. Last Sunday, Pierre became the 36th person to claim the coveted leather title.

Hailing from Washington D.C., Pierre won over a field of 46 contestants from five different countries. Participants were judged on stage

presence and personality (Pecs and Personality), leather image, presentation skills, and physical appearance.

He said: “It’s not really true until you read it on the interwebs.” When Pierre read the Wikipedia stub of IML and saw his name at the bottom, listing the winners, he was quoted on his FaceBook page, “Umm...now things just got real.”

Steve Dupont, Mr. New England Leather 2014, was named 1st runner-up, and 2nd runner-up went to Cody Troy, Mr. Midwest Leather 2013.

Planned Parenthood Produces BDSM Commercial

NEW ENGLAND -- Since the “50 Shades” craze took hold, Planned Parenthood of Northern New England (PPNNE) produced a video tailored to teenagers who wish to read or experiment with the BDSM lifestyle.

“People sometimes think that those who practice BDSM are emotionally scarred or were once abused—not true, it’s a total myth,” the host of the video, Laci Green.

Though the video is creating controversy - mainly because Planned Parenthood receives Federal funding, the informative video has been viewed on YouTube over a million times.

PPNNE’s Teen page clearly declares: “We are

dedicated to protecting the sexual health of teens by providing accurate information, opportunities to explore and establish beliefs and attitudes, and the skills to communicate their needs.”

The organization feels that it is necessary to inform teenagers on how to engage in safe and consensual relationships since the BDSM culture has come into the forefront due to the “50 Shades” series.

Before laying out a set of actual rules to follow when engaging in BDSM, Green seeks to reassure her audience that BDSM is not “abuse” and “has rules, limits and boundaries that are respected by all parties.”

Leather Leadership Conference Comes to Atlanta

After spending this year’s event in Philadelphia, the Leather Leadership Conference (LLC) is back in Atlanta next year on the weekend of March 27 through March 29.

The organization is currently looking for presenters and sponsors. Sponsor packages for businesses and companies range from $4000 (Diamond) to $100 (Group), but individual sponsorships can be made in memoriam or congratulatory to a titleholder for just $25.

Prospective presenters must submit a

presentation proposal via their website.

Right now, registration is just $59 per person and their are several volunteer opportunities for those to get special discounts or benefits for their time donated during the event.

The Conference offers a DIY Track where you can take videos of specific classes to play in your community.

LLC has been held since 1997 in various cities throughout the United States. For more information, go to www.leatherleadership.org.

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Recap “The production was epic for a smaller community such as ours.

It was well-thought out, had unexpected, pleasant elements and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was not only welcomed, but very appreciated.�

- Sir Fluffy

Photos by Satyr Photography

FRIED MEAN POTATOES Sir Jag, Lady Rose burn up the Idaho sky by

Eibon

What promised to be a Night of Fire turned out to be a great deal more.

“The performance tonight of those involved in the show was phenomenal,” said Mr Eccentric, attendee at the May 17 event, A Night of Fire. “The energy from those performing and the mix from the crowd was just an awesome experience. You had to have been there to feel it.”

Sir Jag and Lady Rose put on a multi-layered, multimedia show the likes of which Boise has not seen before.

A video projector played live concert footage of AC/DC’s “For Those About To Rock” to warm up the crowd. The show kicked off with a mock religious protest featuring four performers in Jesus wigs and beards with signs, who gave the crowd brief lap dances. Dark, foreboding music played as four more participants in black cloaks made their way out in front of the tables. As a vintage advertisement for the 1969 Mustang Cobra Jet

appeared on the projector screen, Sir Jag and Lady Rose made their entrance in the same car.

“It was a beautifully orchestrated display of music, humor, erotica and fire,” explained Ms Judy Diamond. “Sir Jag exhibited mastery in the art of playing with fire; it was more than fire.

It was quite titillating how the players interacted with the audience.”

Sir Jag and Lady Rose used fire in nearly every conceivable way – spanking, whipping, flogging, igniting it with violet wands and so much more.

Some of the highlights included them playing two flaming air guitars, Sir Jag setting himself on fire while playing air guitar, and literally feeling the heat from the aisle when four people had spinning flames flying in front of their breasts. Sir Jag put Gene Simmons to shame with his fire-breathing and blood-spitting.

The show must have inspired the audience or lit a spark in the air since the play party afterwards lasted until 3 in the morning.

Light it up

Revelations

Interview with Sir Jag and Lady Rose

Photo by Satyr Photography

Eibon, our correspondent in Idaho, was able to sit down with Sir Jag and Lady Rose, presenters of A Night of Fire, for an interview. Eibon will also be presenting his own series of Electrical Play at A Touch of Flavor in Baltimore on Fourth of July weekend as well.

Eibon: How did you develop an interest in fire play?

How long did it take you to reach this level of proficiency?

Sir Jag/Lady Rose: We saw a fire play performance at Thunder in the Mountains in 2004 and immediately became enthralled with the passion, the intimacy and the theatrics of a form of play that allows for such creativity. There is nothing mechanical about fire as it is a living beast that reacts differently in each situation and each body as well as the audience energy and top energy.

Jag: I started first by traveling to meet the person who I saw at Thunder and train with him for three days on all aspects of fire play and poi. I was not working at the time so I practiced daily with the poi (Fire Floggers) and doing fire play on bottoms at least three times a week for months. I then started formulating different ideas of interesting things I could do with fire set to different music. I would say in total it took me about 400 hours to reach this level of proficiency, practicing consistently on a weekly basis for about 2 years.

Lady Rose: After watching Jag with fire I decided to join him about 6 years ago with the multi-bottom play. I have spent hours practicing with fire to music and am currently working on expanding my proficiency with poi.

Eibon: Judging from the crowd reaction the highlight of the show came near the end, when you set yourself on fire while holding a guitar. How was this accomplished and was it as scary as it looked?

Sir Jag: This is really a funny story that developed from a minor accident. We were doing a Grated fire show for some vanilla people and I was looking for something new and fun to do. Rose and I were already playing air guitars with the heads and tuning pegs lit on fire. I decided it might be fun if I used Nomex gloves and lit them up as well with alcohol and played air guitar. Well as fire will do at times it decided to drip down on my pants and before I knew it I was engulfed. That was scary but I was wearing leather pants and vest and realized there was no burning on my skin. So I purchased some nomex arm guards and realized I

could deliberately set the entire guitar on fire, my hands, both legs and my abdomen for about 10-15 seconds without any burns. It is no longer scary and a hell of a crowd pleaser. It really builds the energy in the audience and cast for the final 3 songs which include fire flogging, fire whips and fire breathing.

Eibon: So many people were involved in this production it was tough to keep track of them all.

What was your biggest challenge in coordinating all the different aspects of the show?

Sir Jag: I actually had the vision of writing a fire production as a play. I wrote the script first which took a couple of months. Then like funneling down I wrote Rose and my working script of how each scene would unfold. It ended up being a prologue, 4 acts, 15 scenes and an epilogue. After that I wrote all the lighting and production queues and how many people I would need to fill each position. The beginning of April, I sent the production queues and practice schedule to all 17 cast members. The first night of practice everyone came ready to work!

Eibon: I understand “Flames of Sir Jag” has been seen in other cities beyond Boise. Where else have you taken your show?

Sir Jag/Lady Rose: Although “FIRE, POWER, PASSION...We Will Rock You” is new our previous Flames of Sir Jag performances have been seen in the Citadel in San Francisco, a couple of venues in Utah and Sun Valley, Idaho. Unfortunately our work schedules became quite hectic and we never reached out further. We believe “FIRE, POWER, PASSION... We Will Rock You” is a unique animal that we would love to share more and make time.

Eibon: If you could perform anywhere in the world where would you choose, and why?

Sir Jag/Lady Rose: We both love Italy and Spain, the passion in both of those countries moves us.

We are big wine lovers and enjoy going around the countryside around Sienna to the medieval castles how cool would that be a BDSM party in a 13th century castle with fire and flogging. Spain is just plain a hot country with sexy hot people, don’t know how we could ever pass that up.

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Ex Libris

A Girl I Knew (excerpt from Is This Anything?)

by Marty Weil Come to the house of solid clay one bay building filled with dull humor, aerial silks, all that chaff.

Walk with Victoria clung to your heels like a maukin upon the red worsted rug.

Trample the feather bed so monstrous in hoop like fifty-two hogs brought to account.

Worse than a mop of rags left to mold in soiled places.

With slavish habits among ill-fitting weeds reeking of mangled blood toss aside that rueful dress fit only to frighten crows.

Wear nothing but vain-glory like Death’s whore dangling on the wire for the moon’s inspection.

Wasted spaces and vampires by riprawwgalaxus

turning slowly gaze forward time slips strobe light memory pressing need subterfuge drink in hand choices witness the play closed curtain sunlight stirs thoughts unfold bodies burn destiny in shackles yours

Runaway: Part III By Lauryn Ibsen

South of Sharpsburg, Maryland - September 18, 1862 I had drifted off to sleep for what seemed like 10 minutes, when a wave of water came across my face. I took a deep breath with my face full of shock.

“Wake up, princess,” my captor said. “We have to leave.” One of his subordinates came to him and quietly said they had surrendered and we need to head back.

I had no idea who “they” were. Union or Confederate? I hoped that the Union soldiers fought a heavy fight and maybe someone was looking for me. The way the men around me were gathering up their supplies in such haste made me believe that, yes, the Union army had won this battle and soon my captor would be caught.

“Hey, boss, what are we doing with her,” one of the men screamed out.

My captor put one hand on his hip while his leather boots were near my face. “I just don’t know,” he said, kneeling down to me. His rough hands touched my cheek and I flinched. He laughed.

A few hours later, the small group of troops and I were walking through the deep forest of Maryland waiting to hit the Potamac River. My captor was atop his stallion with me and my hands bound by rope attached to his belt. The bottom of my dress started to fray and my feet ached but if I started to slow down, he would only charge his horse to pick up the pace sending me into a small run to catch up.

Still, I said nothing.

After a few miles, the sky turned a bruised purple, knowing there was a storm was on the horizon reinvigorated me realizing I would be able to cool off from the late summer humidity. I felt the strong wind creeping up and for once, I felt physically good.

“Hey,” a voice screamed out from the woods.

No body, just a voice. Quickly my captor turned to his men and motioned to kneel in the deep grass. The only sound was a rolling thunder from a distance.

My captor motioned his men to spread out to hide. Quietly they followed his order and scattered.

He dismounted off his horse and moved slowly

20

toward a shallow cave. I obediently and forcibly followed wandering what to do.

Once in the cave, the thunder came closer as the rain poured down from the heavens in torrential motions. The voice never returned again. He was on guard for a few minutes until he fell back to the confident officer he was. He was silent.

“Sophie,” I finally spoke after almost a day staying mute. He looked at me and I finally looked at him without turning away. His blue-gray eyes looked into mine. His reddishbrown stubble made him more attractive that I recalled. He was definitely a more rugged male than I’m used to seeing at county balls and socials.

Our eyes locked until finally I looked toward the opening of the cave watching the rain cause a mist on the field we were just walking. I could feel his eyes still on me. He took his hand and pushed my neck in his direction. He wrapped the rope around my wrists around his other free hand to pull it tighter. I was locked; he had control.

His mouth dominated my entire body. His kiss was strong and electric. I had never open-mouthed kissed and had no idea what to do.

His tongue moved in syncronization with mine. He pulled the back of my neck closer until I felt the kiss last for eternity. Our lips parted and he released the tension on the rope immediately looking out at the lightning. My body was paralyzed.

“You’re going to be easy to sell,” he said, watching the rain fall.

Next Installment in July Issue

Warmth by riprawwgalaxus yours is a body of light trsnsfigured upon titans bones vaguely one recalls the charge before u sealed the chamber leaving me suspended in air to ponder a nameless fate I have/will not beg as I remember it light and the whip as black lightning streaking the stale air the door opens and I see my name writ rust and copper shades on the dirty floor and it all becomes clear zero for the home team

When You Return Me to My Fingertips (A Poem on Thanksgiving) by Resonant Yes It is a remarkable thing when you return me to my fingertips And root me back in my heels So that I can feel them on the cold tile again.

Were it not for you, I expect I would live in my brain, Weighty and furrowed and waiting for my chance to speak A gravity head carted around and lolling about lazily on its neck In case it might be needed for a thought or another compromise.

But you return me to my fingertips, and in so doing You lengthen me by meters.

You who are of the earth and dust and evening light You who lives where you are, and just in time, You make the back of my knees tingle And remind me I am here, Tonight, I will read your poems aloud, In a barky rasp that comes from the center of me, Just to hear them echo back off of my red living room walls, And you and I will be bigger than we imagined.

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Recap

Mr DC Eagle Ramien Pierre is declared the winner of IML 2014 (middle). Mr New England Leather 2014 Steve Dupont is 1st Runner Up (left) and Mr Midwest Leather 2013 Cody Troy is 2nd Runner Up. Scout was named International Mr Bootblack 2014 (far right).

International Mr Leather 2014 Photos Courtesy of International Mr Leather

The judges at this year’s IML contest must have had the hardest job in the world to critique all 46 contestants from over five countries and choose one winner (top right). No matter how much pressure was endured by the contestants, everyone had a great time catching up and meeting new titleholders. Recently titled International Ms Leather 2014 Patty Mslt (above center) made an appearance throughout the weekend and Andy Cross (left), who stepped down as IML 2013 last weekend, watched with pride from the judges’ table as the contestants made their introductions for the first time on stage. For more photos from the weeklong competition, go to www.imrl.org.

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Places to Go

Northern Hospitality photos by

Bryan Hailey

Northern Exposure

www.northernexposurealaska.com Anchorage, Alaska July 18-20

There’s no telling what can happen from year to year at Northern Exposure. It’s a weekend of wacky fun made famous from the lady who started it all five years ago, Sarha, former International Ms Leather 2013. “This is my baby,” she said.

And her “baby” represents all the craziness and zaniness of the Alaskan community.

The presenters are not picked by the coordinator or an education director, they are truly chosen by the Alaskan lifestylers.

“I put out a call for presenters and we usually get about 70,” Sarha explained. “I then print out their bios, put them in a binder and ship it all over the state to local munches, coffee get-togethers, demos. When I get them back, I look at the most graffitti on the bios with words like ‘pick me!’or ‘most wanted!’” Then, the final 15 are chosen to make the excursion up north.

This event is not just limited to one weekend out of the year. Sarha coordinates mini-fundraisers like the Kinky Caravan, where a day of thirft shopping turns into a social experiment, hroughout the year to help deffray costs for admission.

Sarha emphasizes that this event is about becoming a family and one features is the Fucked-Up Brown Bag Lunch.

Everyone gets a brown bag lunch but some will get four apples, one will get two sandwiches, another will have 14 Pixie Sticks. “This promotes each other to share and barter what they have,” said Sarha. “This gets people talking to one another.”

After a weekend of classes and parties, the big sendoff dinner is worth the price of admission. A seven-course Alaskan cuisine dinner served family-style complete with keynotes and awards will make you wanting more.

Right now, tickets are $179 for the weekend, but if you mention that you read this article, you will receive $30 off the price. Verboten could not be happier to be a part of this warm Alaskan family.

Sarha comes out to the stage and brings an energy like you’ve never seen. You definitely see why she was International Ms Leather.

Aperture

Ben Rushton

www.londonfetishphotography.com

“

With fine-art fetish photography, the lighting and composition should ‘wow’ you every bit as much as the subject matter.

”

Relationships Dom FAQ

TOG~

I keep reading about “Dom drop”. What exactly is this? What are the things you experience with this? - Happy in Houston Dom drop is the Dom version of the better known sub drop. When we take part in a D/s session, especially if it is intense, our bodies may release high levels of hormones that feed our experience.

Shortly thereafter, the hormone levels come down and the body tries to recover. This is normal. During the recover you may feel somewhat withdrawn. If you did things in the seen that you have been conditioned to consider taboo seldom do, such as Gay sex, you may feel regret. Generally, this is of short duration. Many Dominants are not aware of Dom drop and many males tend to withdraw into themselves after sex. While sub drop is often avoided by good after care, some feel mild Dom drop can be treated by coffee, chocolate and/or sweets.

Sometimes it can be caused when Dominants become controlling rather than in control of their self. If someone seeks to become a Dominant because of internal issues they have not resolved their scenes will not resolve the issue. If they are driven by an urge to control or cause pain a scene may not give them satisfaction. You have to work on mastering yourself before you can successfully master another.

A Better Use of Yellow Caution

by JimPixLa Tape I dunno ...

Maybe I don’t get the whole Dom thing. Or perhaps I’m just different. Or perhaps not. Really sort of wondering what others think.

Recently, I have heard several stories from women who have met men on here who are “Doms.” These men may be good looking. They may talk the talk.

Make no mistake, I think some of them are predators. The women I’ve talked to have been beaten and trashed and left to pick up their own pieces. The emotional wreckage is the antithesis of what I think we are really exploring when we undertake a connection in this space. When it is uncaring and taken lightly, I think it is deplorable.

The dynamics of D/s are multifaceted and I understand there are differences. It is my firm belief though, that when a Dom takes a sub on a journey, the Dom is assuming the responsibility to bring the sub back. And for me, that means trying to bring her into a better, brighter state. Make her feel more. More beautiful. More desirable. Smarter. More self-directed.

The journey is a dichotomy in that it seems strange that real break down, real submission, whether involving pain or abject humiliation, could possibly be a path to renewal, restoration and

Domination /

empowerment but it can and in my view it should. When a woman leaves my care I want her to feel more of herself. I want her to thirst for our next experience not because she feels dependent on me, but because she wants to take the next step, see what’s through the proverbial door #3.

We are all different. I am sure there are women who, for their own reasons, are not looking for what I’m describing and I’m sure there are men who feel above or indifferent to the women they dominate. So long as that is understood, knock yourselves out.

What makes me angry is when it is not understood. When the man coos sweet nothings to entice a woman under his care and then does everything in his power to destabilizer her, building dependency on a path that he knows from the beginning will end in him discarding her like the Thursday morning garbage. If this is you, you are the lowest form of low.

And I think, women who are considering journeys of their own should understand all of this. Some men should come with warning labels: “Tie them up with yellow caution tape and leave them out with the garbage.”

Sub FAQ slave

Feyrie

At your first play party, being a sub, I have read you should be nude or almost. I will be going by myself and how do I walk into a party not knowing most of the people? - Clothed in Columbus Though the activities at play parties are as varied and innumerable as stars in the sky, we can basically divide them into two types: public and private.

A public play party usually means you’ve paid a fee, read some clear, explicit rules, and signed a waiver. Generally, you will find these in conjunction with conferences, events, or clubs. Public play parties will have their nudity policy explicitly stated.

The second kind is a private play party. These are by invitation only and can often be more intimate.

I have been to private parties that are totally nude, and private parties where nudity was not allowed.

A good rule of thumb is dress neatly and cleanly.

You can’t go wrong with a simple black dress or jeans. You can wear the spiked collar or crotchless thong underneath or carry them in a bag. You can always disrobe later and in private.

My parting thought is this: you don’t have to do anything you are not comfortable with, even if you choose the submissive role. If you aren’t into hanging out naked in front of strangers, you don’t have to. In my experience, trying new and scary things can be super hot, but pay attention to your “spidey sense” and follow basic etiquette and community standards when in vanilla public. When in doubt, call the host or the person who invited you to get the info or negotiate something within your personal boundaries.

/ submission

Savoir-Faire

Kink 101

unicorn, and AB/DL (Adult Baby/Diaper Lover).

Whew…that’s a long list! Obviously, this can make it difficult to know what role (or roles) apply to you when there are so many roles out there to choose from! So, where do you start? First, I recommend asking other people who identify with a particular role to tell you what that role means to them; ask Last month, I said I would list some roles you may have come more than one person who identifies with that role, because, across during your experiences so far in The Lifestyle. As as you already know, different terms mean different things to promised, here they are--along with quite a few roles you may different people. never have heard of

In addition to asking others about their roles (or instead (until now): of it, if that’s easier), there are many printed and online sources

• s-type roles: available to read when you have the chance. Books such as submissive, slave, “Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns” by Philip Miller and Molly bottom, masochist, Devon, and “SM 101: A Realistic Introduction” by Jay Wiseman property, girl, babygirl, have been praised and recommended those new to the kink community, among others.

Gwen Balanos boy, babyboy, niece, nephew, little, brat,

The website www.fetlife.com is, perhaps, the best kajira, kajirus, toy, pet, (interactive, 18+) online resource for kinky people (you must trainee, and mentee; join--it’s free--to have access). Once you’ve joined, I recommend

• D-type roles: Dominant (Dom, Domme), Master, exploring the “Novices & Newbies” and “BDSM Glossary” groups, Mistress, Top, Sadist, Owner, Daddy, Mommy, Aunt, Uncle, Big, as they are the most comprehensive references I have found for Trainer, Mentor, and Keyholder; kink in general thus far; then enjoy the rest of the site.

• Fluid/Other roles: switch, sadomasochist, sister,

Wherever you go from there, and whatever methods you brother, middle, kinkster, primal, animal, pony, puppy, kitten, use to Define Your Role, remember: Be yourself, don’t judge, be ageplayer, fetishist, hedonist, Teacher, student, Protector, safe and have fun!

Viewpoint

An Anonymous Community

One of the more convoluted concepts in this world of what we do is the notion of “community”. If you have spent any time the nature of Unpopular discussing fetish or kink, you will Opinions eventually come across the word “community.”

Strictly speaking the word “community” refers to any group of people connected loosely by any common interest, Steel and as long as this is what is being referred to I usually smile and nod. My issue with the nature of “community” comes when someone is using it to justify policing other people to conform to their moral belief system.

Yes, there are some bad people among us. People have had their boundaries violated, their consent ignored, their bodies molested, and their trust crushed by someone they were supposed to have been able to trust, but is this a failure of the “community” or just a possible negative consequence of not protecting yourself?

This “community” is made up of people who are really only loosely connected because we have a similar interest in alternative sexual and nonsexual fetish-like activities. In this community you have people who are into foot worship next to people who enjoy wearing and changing the diapers of fully grown adults, and people who live by the

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fictional stories of a planet on the other side of our sun. This is the “community” so often turned to in hopes of policing the acceptable and unacceptable behaviors of people who technically are also a representation of that “community”. Some are bound by honorable demeanor while others are all about the wild kinky sex and the continual pursuit thereof.

I often avoid the world lifestyle and community because it has an inclusive factor that makes it easy for other people to lump too many things together.

Tell someone for the first time that you’re kinky and the response is something like, “so, you’re one of them freaky people who likes beating on each other?” followed by a 45-minute explanation of the difference between Sadomasochism and Power Based Relationships, then followed by misunderstandings, and eventually your partner gets a late-night phone call from an estranged friend asking point blank if they are being physically abused.

My beef is not with other kinks, you can do whatever you like, but if we are going to be blanketly covered and have the worst of our examples as the poster children for what we do, I will respectfully decline association with terms like “community”, as currently saying you are part of the community to me is like saying you belong to a gym, it’s pretty nondescript, and suggests at some point you will be purposefully engaged in some activity I either enjoy or do not, and many find torturous.

Places to Go

Savor the Flavor Sex Education

on Steroids

Touch of Flavor

Baltimore July 4 - 7

A Touch of Flavor comes to Charm City the weekend of July 4th for a way to meld the vanilla world onto the kinkier side of road. This is a chance for both newbies and experienced players to learn, explore and have fun.

The weekend is full of 55 classes, taught from people who are at the top of their game like Catherine Gross, Danarama (one-half of the Knotty Boys) and former Ms San Francisco Leather 2009 Mollena Williams.

The classes reach out to all types of relationships from all types of backgrounds and how they can explore a new way to spice up their personal lives.

Demos will give hands-on experience including safety and sensuality tips.

“Over the last few years the general public has had a growing interest in kink, polyamory, and exploring new ways to connect with their partner(s), especially after the 50 Shades books,” said Cassie

F, co-coordinator of A Touch of Flavor. “We believed that because of this there is a growing need to educate individuals and couples who want to explore.”

This year’s keynote speaker will be Reid Mihalko. He is renowned sex educator, who has appeared on “Our America with Lisa Ling “on OWN, the Emmy award-winning talk show Montel, “The Doctors” on CBS, Bravo’s “Miss Advised” and Fox News.

In between class, there will be plenty of mixers and parties along with shopping. Along with events like Kinky Bingo, Pool Social and Boots, Cigars and Chocolate, complete with Fourth of July fireworks and their Black-Tied Up Dinner, this is the way you want to spend Independence Day. Tickets for this weekend of the “sexiest”education you’ll ever get can fit everyone’s budget. VIP tickets are $248 while a Friday/Saturday pass is just $80.

Video available in digital version www.v3rboten.com

Places to Be

Sweet Home Chicago

www.chicagodungeonrentals.com Chicago has it all: Wrigley Field, Sears Tower, Navy Pier, Oprah, Lake Shore Drive.

But did you know that they also have two locations to rent for an overnight stay in a well-equipped dungeon?

Logan Square, located in Northwest Chicago, offers an 1,800 square-foot play space complete with two playrooms, large kitchen with washer/dryer, bedroom and living room.

West Loop, located in the heart of downtown Chicago, is a 900 square-foot that offers guests to play in a medical area and features a Catherine’s Wheel and Rack, an indoor pergola-like apparatus perfect for sex swings (included!)

These play spaces have everything a person can use; however, bringing your toys are completely acceptable. These are available to everyone from professional dominitrices to local educational groups to photographers to just a kinky couple wanting to get away.

Owner Sophia Chase welcomes anyone (or three, or four) to visit for a few hours or overnight. According to their website, all renters have access to a shower and plenty of towels. Sounds like a lot of people need to clean up their dirty minds before heading out to the vanilla world. Oh, that vanilla world is relentless. This is an adult vacation where memories will last.