Taking it up a peg

Edition 33 | 2020 Taking it up a peg

Pegging is the sexual act in which one partner straps on a dildo and stimulates their partner anally.

With over 85 per cent of my sexual encounters being in the missionary position, I was left dumbfounded two years ago when a then-boyfriend asked me if I would peg him.

“I’m not gay,” he said defensively when he realised my surprise.

“No, I know,” I replied shifting nervously on the edge of the bed. While I was aware that it’s perfectly normal for straight guys to like it up the arse, I never thought I would be with one of those guys.

My initial feeling of shock was most likely because despite pegging becoming more of a topic of interest— particularly after its appearance on season two of Broad City—it’s still taboo.

Whenever I’d talked with other girls, their responses were varied. Some loved the idea, some would only do it with a partner they loved, and others were very quick to shut it down, declaring that if their partner ever asked to be pegged, they would be questioning the relationship. Yet realistically, it shouldn’t be a shock that some guys enjoy anal penetration; as that’s where the prostate— essentially the male equivalent of the g-spot—is.

My partner and I talked for almost an hour about it. I found out he’d been pegged by one other girlfriend, other than her and myself, no one knew he was into it. Upon learning that, a lot of my prudence towards pegging diminished. This was simply happening because he trusted me enough to tell me about something that was otherwise, as he described, “kept in the vault.” After that, we decided the pegging itself was something we’d ease into—he physically and me mentally.

Following a few weeks of lubed up fingers and butt (is that too much information?), it was time for the real deal. I’ll admit my slender body looked ridiculous with a rather abrasive, blue dildo strapped to it, but the initial uncertainty was quickly replaced with something else; I started to feel powerful. I had a dick and if I swung it hard enough, I could probably knock someone out. I couldn’t help but think: is this how men feel all the time? The pegging itself begun very awkwardly, I had basically turned his butt into a slip and slide with the amount of lube I had used, which was unfortunately a necessary evil. But after the awkwardness had subsided, I felt something I had never felt during sex. I felt in control. This was important for me because it meant I could bend my boyfriend over and explore taking the reins rather than assuming the submissive role I was so used to. While I wasn’t reaping any of the benefits of sex as I normally would, being able to see my partner enjoy himself was enough.

Although someone else’s experience pegging may be completely different, my experience changed my idea of how sex should be. While it was awkward and uncomfortable at times, it made me rethink the dynamic of the relationship and allowed me to feel in control. Because of this, I can say that I’ve pegged once, and I’ll probably peg again—in a safe and consensual manner, of course. ☐

Words Peggy Sue Photography Natasha McLoughlin