Trust your struggles

Was as healthy as a horse, feeling happy and fit, It was not until November 2009 where it all went to shit. Went and got bloods twice because the Drs wanted to make sure, The very next day when I was at work, I got the scariest ever phone call.

“Mr Gadd, we need to get you to hospital as fast as you can,” the Dr said, If I had waited 2 more weeks I would have been lying on the floor dead. I was rushed to the hospital not knowing what I was in for, Nerves getting worser each step I take closer to the hospital door. Went in for biopsy as soon as I stepped in the ward, Nervously waiting for result thinking is there such a thing as a Lord. I needed His strength for what I was about to hear, Mr Gadd you have kidney failure, you are so lucky to even be here. One kidney had 25% life left and the other was completely dead, I was confused, sad and upset, had so much things running through my head. You need treatment as soon as possible to make your life the best, Straight into surgery, to get tubes hanging out my chest. They pumped me with steroids, to slow down the disease, I broke down and cried begging for the Lord to help me, please.

The first two years of dialysis was the hardest of all, I’ve missed birthdays, weddings and even my little sister’s funeral. For a 21 year old it was so much to take in, It happened so fast, my head was in such a spin. “Why me? Why me?” I scream as I cry myself to sleep, Laying up in a hospital bed, tears drenchin the hospital sheets. I was upset and sliding down into a depression spiral, It wouldn’t take long for the news of my kidney failure to go viral. I now had to be strong to show everyone I’m fine, But all I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and die. I wish it never happened, but I’m so glad it did, It made me grow up faster and stop acting like a kid.

Well, it’s been 7 years now and I’m still fighting this fight, I’ve been in darkness for years, but I’ve also seen the light, The battle is nearly over, the fight is almost won. So close to a transplant, so relieved its almost done. It’s been a hard 7 years of surgeries, dialysis and tests, I couldn’t have done it on my own, even though I tried my best. It’s been the hardest battle I’ve ever had to face, I wanted to write this poem just to give you a taste. I also wanted to thank everyone who fought my battle with me, From the nurses, Drs, friends and also my family. Thank you to all the other patients and the wise words you have said to me. I wouldn’t change my life at all, even in the death of my kidneys.

It’s made me the man I am today, proud, deadly and strong. And I’ve made so many awesome friends; the list is oh so long. My head is held high, and I’m still standing tall. So I thank each and every one, you saved my life and I love you all….

Words Ramon Gadd

Camping is in the blood of my people by Jessie Walker “It tells the story of the first time I went camping, to me camping was a time to reflect about nature and to spend quality time with my loved ones.”