USASA Magazine 2014 | Orientation Edition

Magazine Orientation Issue | Vol. 22 No. 1

Letter from the Editor A fresh year calls for some fresh new faces, and we are as fresh as the Prince of BelAir. Who are we, you ask? We are Georgina, Divya, Prerna and Ben, the new team behind USASA Magazine. As you probably know, the student association has recently undergone many changes, one of which resulted in UniLife being renamed the University of South Australia Student Association, and this magazine has followed suit.

We’re going to be filling the issues this year with our own stories and drawings, but our lame jokes and tired puns are probably going to grind your gears after a while, so that’s where we need your help. We’ll always be looking for submissions from you guys to fill our glossy pages and keep our bad jokes to a minimum. This year, our themes will circle around The Seven Deadly Sins, and the first issue will be themed Lust and Envy. So get your thinking caps on, decide which side of the confessional you want to be on, and get writing.

Send your weird and wonderful submissions to vivga001@mymail.unisa. edu.au.

USASA Magazine will be distributed around each UniSA campus, so don’t forget to pick up your very own copy. If you’d prefer to save the trees and the fuzzy koalas that live in them, we have an online edition of the magazine which can be found at unilifemagazine.com.au (this is likely to change soon but we’ll keep you posted about that).

And if you really like the magazine (who doesn’t?) and want to get even more involved, chuck us a like on Facebook (search ‘UniLife Magazine’) and follow us on Twitter @unilifemagazine. Or alternatively, if you see us around on campus, follow us in real life. Or don’t.

Whatever floats your boat.

Happy Orientation!

Georgina

www.facebook.com/unilifemagazine

@unilifemagazine

Contact UniLife.Magazine@unisa.edu.au or vivga001@mymail.unisa.edu.au Head Editor Georgina Vivian Sub-Editor Divya Balakumar Web Editor Ben Allison Graphic Designer Prerna Ashok Contributors USASA Board Members, Anna Cherkasova, Pip Kruger, Renée Biele,

Chloe Svaikauskas, Danielle O’Connor, Max Allison, Courtney Bottrill Cover Georgina Vivian, Prerna Ashok Printer Newstyle Special thanks to Palace Nova The views expressed in this magazine are not necessarily representative of the views of USASA or the editors. All images, unless otherwise stated, by Prerna Ashok.

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‘Tattoo head’ Illustration by Anna Cherkasova www.annatelman.com | www.facebook.com/anna.cherkasova

Contents Letter from the Editor. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 Meet the Team . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4

Welcome from the USASA President . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 Meet the USASA Representatives. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7

Roll up! Roll up for Gear Up! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 Student Clubs at UniSA. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 Calendar of Events. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16

Shoestring Fringe . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 Thaipusam Festival in Kuala Lumpur. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 HB, FB: 10 Years of Procrastination . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22 Historical Hahndorf . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23

Poetry | The Fresher . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24 Fiction | University Hell . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26 Movie Reviews . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28

Georgina Vivian

Divya Balakumar

Ben Allison

Head Editor

Sub-Editor

Web Editor

Having changed degrees twice, she basks in the glory of being a selfprofessed professional student. While on paper, this is Georgina’s last year at Magill, the question begs: who knows what will happen next? A lover of all things music and a keen soccer player, she can be found bobbing those curls everywhere. Her writing covers a wide range of genres and topics from witty poetry about her goldfish, and washing on the line. In 2014, Georgina plans to organise and partake in the National University Doodlers Championships in which she is a promising winner.

Full of enthusiasm and having come all the way from Malaysia to see what the fuss in Radelaide is all about, Divya has embraced all the things this city has to offer.

Whether she’s in the classroom working her way through a mountain of French verbs, in the kitchen cooking up a vegetarian curry, or being a social butterfly at Adelaide’s classy and not-so-classy establishments, Div is always giving the task at hand everything she’s got, and she makes sure she has a damn good time.

Ben is the Web Editor this year. He’s in his fourth year of Journalism and Writing and Creative Communication. He’s currently seeking treatment for an addiction to Buzzfeed and Pepsi Max.

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Prerna Ashok Graphic Designer Prerna is a Graphic Designer, Writer, Editor and dabbles in Photography. As a creative practitioner she sees things differently and incorporates quirky and bespoke elements in her work that make it memorable. Hence the cat.

Welcome from the USASA President

With the roll out of the University’s ‘Crossing the Horizon’ plan, there has never been a more exciting time to be a student at the University of South Australia. At the same time, we, as the student association, have gone through major changes and challenges and 2014 is year one of the new University of South Australia Student Association (USASA).

Our focus for the organisation this is year is to get back to students by improving a sense of belongingness and promoting our services. My own personal focus will be to ensure all students have a say in the University’s decision-making processes.

USASA exists for you, the student. As well as providing students a voice within the University, we run clubs, events and activities aimed to provide you with the best possible student experience. We are also here for you if you have problems with your studies, providing an independent and free advocacy service. USASA will also be providing students employment opportunities with 20 casual positions available to work on USASA counters.

There is more information on all our programs and activities on our website, and I would encourage you to have a look at the clubs list on the USASA website and see where you can get involved.

I have recently completed my Bachelor of Nursing and am currently employed with a private hospital. I am immensely proud to be your Student President and to serve as a Student Representative for a second consecutive term. Student representation is both a challenging and rewarding role, providing the opportunity to make a real difference to the lives of all students at the university. I would strongly encourage you, especially the new students, to talk to your student representatives on campus and think about how representation might become a part of your own student journey.

If you have any questions or concerns about either the academic and nonacademic services available to UniSA students, please feel free to contact me anytime at Arun.Thomas@unisa.edu.au Hard work will makes YOU stronger, Mistakes will makes YOU smarter and Success will keeps YOU in shape....

Wishing you a fantastic and rewarding 2014.

Arun Thomas USASA Student President 5

COMPETITION!

NAME YOUR MAGAZINE

new faces new places

NEW MAGAZINE The USASA team need your help to rename this magazine, so send us your best ideas and go into the running to see your idea brought to life in Issue 2! The winner will also receive a $200 Myer voucher

Email vivga001@mymail.unisa.edu.au

by Monday, 31st March 2014. The winner will be notified by email.

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Meet the USASA Representatives

Tim Pham | International Representative

Andrew Friebe | Postgraduate Representative

Why I became a rep

Why I became a rep

I aim to improve the international student community in our university with many amazing activities and events and to provide great experiences for international students while they are studying in Australia.

This is my second term as a rep. I became a rep to provide assistance and representation to postgraduate students. I also saw this as an excellent opportunity to meet other students and provide work/life experiences to the board.

My goals for 2014

My goals for 2014

To provide students with activities including conferences, quiz nights, movie nights, and photo competitions, and to continue with the International Student Life UniSA Club.

I aim to enhance the voice of postgraduate students and continue to further provide career services to them.

Interesting facts I am a business enthusiast, funny at times and lover of life! Shoot me an email anytime you have ideas or if you need some help or support.

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Interesting facts I just signed up for a bike ride from Grafton to Brisbane and will be riding over 1000km in seven days. I have also completed a ride from Melbourne to Adelaide and I want to ride all around Australia.

Eleisa Hancock | City West Campus

Thuy Le | City West Campus

Why I became a rep

Why I became a rep

To help students in all aspects of their university adventure. From the social side of things to the study side of things, I think it’s vital for students to have an organisation they can call their own.

I became a representative for the student association because I wanted to give back to UniSA and help the students voice their opinions on the issues such as where the student amenities funds go and what events should be held. This was also a good opportunity to further develop my leadership skills and establish networks with students, academics and UniSA staff.

My goals for 2014 To successfully work full time whilst finishing my double degree.

Interesting facts I’m studying a law degree but I don’t want to be a lawyer!

My goals for 2014 My goals for 2014 are to finish uni, gain as much industry work experience before I graduate and I would also love to travel overseas for either a holiday or placement.

Interesting facts I’m on placement at Ernst & Young at the moment so I’m already one step closer to achieving my goals.

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Anthony Hooper | Magill Campus

Lia Lawrie | Magill Campus

Why I became a rep

Why I became a rep

After a few years at uni and organising one of the clubs, I’d received a fair few and recurring questions about students’ rights, and wanted to be part of a change for the better in terms of demystifying the university bureaucracy, which affects us all.

I originally volunteered for UniLife and became close to some of the members there. While volunteering, I heard a lot about being a representative and decided I wanted to become one to make university a better place for students.

My goals for 2014

My goals for 2014

My goal for this year is to assist in raising awareness of student issues and rights. I firmly believe it’s important that students have a say in how it changes through both the Student Association and the concerted voice of many if required.

My major goal is to try and give under-represented groups a voice and a place in the community. I also want to get education higher on the political agenda and am currently organising a rally against the cuts to tertiary education.

Interesting facts

Interesting facts

My hobbies include fishing and catching bugs on my Nintendo 3DS and preferably in an air-conditioned room with a comfy couch.

I have an American accent.

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Mitchell Wilson | Whyalla Campus

Claudia Shelton | Mt Gambier Campus

Why I became a rep I chose to become a rep because I felt it was the next step in supporting a regional campus and the students therein.

My goals for 2014 To bring about a vibrant campus life for Whyalla students and to instil in them a sense of identity as students.

Interesting facts I like to sing and have about five octaves in my voice, including access to the rare Whistle Register.

Why I became a rep I became a USASA rep because I believe it is such a privilege to be able to voice the needs of students and I was generally interested in the organisation.

My goals for 2014 To encourage people in the Lower South East to study and stay locally, organise awesome and fun events for students, get the community involved with the university, and to make students really enjoy attending university!

Interesting facts I am currently studying a Bachelor of Nursing which I LOVE and I’m in my third and final year.

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Tyler Whitaker | City East Campus

Andrew Kay | Mawson Lakes Campus

Why I became a rep I initially put my name forward when I was going through a bit of an existential crisis, and thought of it as a way to try something new. My position at USASA has been something I’ve enjoyed greatly, and is something I’m hoping to continue.

My goals for 2014 One goal is to provide students on clinical placement with face-to-face advice from the staff there. I’d also love to improve conditions on campus for students with disabilities, as getting around can be a little difficult.

Interesting facts I’ve been heavily involved with the Australian Navy Cadets since 2007, I love horror movies and gaming, and you’ll find me at music concerts and festivals sporting a horrible sunburn.

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Why I became a rep I became a rep because I wanted more from UniSA. I wanted more than just going to class and then going home. I wanted uni to be more than just study. I became a rep because that was the best way to improve the uni atmosphere.

My goals for 2014 My goals for 2014 are simple. I want to keep improving the quality of life for the students here, whether it’s by coming up with great ideas or voting on important issues.

Roll up! Roll up for Gear Up! Georgina Vivian Do you sometimes feel a bit sore after Mad March? Feel like you sprinted through the marathon month without enough stretching or preparation? Come the end of February, make sure you are ready. UniSA’s O-Week music festival, Gear Up, is the perfect way to prepare yourself, have a blast with your buddies and propel yourself into the beginning of the madness. The line up is an absolute cracker and has been touted

by Gear Up Organisers as ‘an eclectic bunch of artists who you won’t see anywhere else, or in such distinct company, but the laneways of City West campus’.

With a line up boasting acts including San Cisco, Pond, Deep Sea Arcade, Alpine, The Killgirls, Tkay Maidza, Miami Horror DJs, BottleRockets, DJ Faint One, Valkyries and Dead End Friends, plus a special appearance by 2013 X-Factor winner Dami Im, they aren’t wrong.

Hamish Cox from local Adelaide band The Killgirls said the band loves playing festivals in Adelaide and that they are really looking forward to playing at Gear Up. He recalls an O-Week show the band played a few years back. ‘A man dressed as a giant male chicken threw condoms at people while trying to moonwalk. Not exactly a crowd builder but it was pretty funny.’ While we’re not too sure the chicken

dancer will be making an appearance this year, we are sure there will be heaps of other reasons for you to be cutting shapes in the mosh pit. As well as all the brilliant bands playing across two stages, there will also be a silent disco (don’t be shy— everyone else will be making fools of themselves too), chill-out areas, food trucks and street performers to keep you entertained.

The festival will be held at UniSA’s City West Campus on Friday 28 February from 3–11pm. Join the fun on the Gear Up Facebook page and keep an eye out for their regular competitions and giveaways.

If you’re more of a Twitter fiend, check out the hashtag #UniSAGearUp. Or alternatively, be like the little girl on the Old El Paso taco commercial and do both!

Tickets are on sale now from Moshtix ($15 for UniSA students and $50 for everyone else). Be sure to get a ticket in your hot little hands before they’re all snatched up, and gear up for a massive day. This is one O-Week event you don’t want to miss.

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Surviving your ďŹ rst semester at Uni In class Reference Reference Reference

On campus

Lectures are important (take notes!)

Packed lunches will $AVE you

$$$

Acquaint yourself with the libraries, computer pools & facilities on ALL campuses

Get a diary

Library databases are your best friend Save & Back up work regularly

Out & about

Class = participation

contributing 1-2 times per class + regular use of online forums

E AT 3 - 5 meals every d a y

Exercise regularly

The best parking spots, shortcuts, clean toilets & quiet study spots

Recon mission

Make friends with the local baristas & bartenders

Red Bull

is not the answer to fuzzy mornings

Attend at least 1x PUBCRAWL (for the t-shirt!)

Group projects

& assignments can be fun if EVERYONE pitches in

Remember to BREATHE! 14

Student Clubs at UniSA Whether you’re into travel, language, sport, South Asian art, robots, manga or just looking to connect with students from around the world, there are clubs and societies for everyone. We’ve listed a few for you below, but visit the USASA website if you’re looking for something more specific or just to see what’s out there.

Oaktree South Australia

Tia International Aid UniSA Branch

Adelaide Japanese Animation Society Club

Tourism and Event Management Club

AIESEC Adelaide

UnderGrad Psychology Club

Bangladeshi Student Society UniSA

UniSA Afghan Students Network

Business Students Society - UniSA

UniSA French Club

Chinese Student Association UniSA Chapter

UNISA Occupational Therapy Committee Club

Dance Society UniSA

UniSA Pride Club

EMU Club (Environmental Management Unit)

UniSA United Nations & International Relations Society

Filipino Students United Club

UniSA Visual Arts Students’ Club

Hong Kong Student Society Club

University of South Australia Red Cross Club

Indonesian Student Society of University of South Australia (PPIA UniSA) International Students Association Italian Club Journalism and Photography Club Journalism Events Society Club Laboratory Medicine Student’s Society Malaysian Student Association of UniSA (MySA UniSA) MED RADical Club Nursing and Midwifery Social Club Peer 2 Peer Mentoring Program Physiotherapy Society for UniSA ROUSTAH The Rural Health Club for UniSA Saudi Student Society

Vietnamese Student Society in the University of South Australia World Youth International AERO (Amalgamated Engineering Recreational Organisation) Mawson Student Network (MSN) MERC (Mechatronic Engineering Robotics Club) Persian Society at UniSA Mawson Student Network (MSN) South Asian Arts Society Travel Club for UniSA UniSA Debating Society UniSA Sport UniSA Wellbeing Club

Social Work Club Sport & Recreation Management Club

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28 Fridays Uncorked at the National Wine Centre – McLaren Vale Associates Summer Fridays in the East End

Adelaide Cinémathèque at the Mercury Cinema every Monday and Thursday 6:30pm

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20 Alliance Française French Film Festival at Palace Nova until 8 April The Rocky Horror Show at the Adelaide Festival Centre until 11 April

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Last day of the 2014 Adelaide Fringe Festival

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14 Fridays Uncorked at the National Wine Centre – Red Art & Yelland and Paps Torchlight Tour (adults 18+) at the South Australian Museum Summer Fridays in the East End

WOMADelaide Smallgoods Appreciation Class at Adelaide Central Market Summer Fridays in the East End

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Friday

WOMADelaide

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Thursday

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Wednesday

WOMADelaide

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Tuesday

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Start of SP 2

Monday

Sunday

March 2014

That Dapper Market

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WOMADelaide

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Opening of the 2014 Adelaide Biennial of Australian Art Square Mile at the South Parklands 3pm – 8pm

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Saturday

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Semaphore Kite Festival

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Semaphore Kite Festival

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Back to Uni

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Mid-semester break

Monday

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April 2014

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Wednesday

Tuesday

Fridays Uncorked at the National Wine Centre – Hentley Farm Barossa

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Thursday

Anzac Day Groovin’ the Moo at Oakbank

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Fridays Uncorked at the National Wine Centre – Wynn’s Estate Coonawarra

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4

Friday

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Semaphore Kite Festival

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Worm Farms workshop at the Botanical Gardens

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Saturday

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Shoestring Fringe Chloe Svaikauskas | Photography by Prerna Ashok

Well, it’s that time of year again. Fringe season is finally here! If you don’t know what the Adelaide Fringe is, it is quite possible you have spent your life living under a rock. However, if you really don’t, I’ll help you out.

There are numerous acts and street shows that take place around the city during the Fringe season as well that are free to all who stop by to enjoy them.

Since its humble beginnings in 1960, the Fringe became an annual event on the Adelaide festival calendar in 2007 and is now the largest arts festival in Australia. It runs from mid-February to mid-March and hosts amazing talent sourced both locally and internationally.

If free events aren’t exactly your thing, there are ways to see the shows you want to see for a smaller price. If you are aged 18–30, you can become a Fringe Benefits member and get tickets to your favourite shows at discounted prices. You’ll receive regular emails advertising tickets on sale to a variety of shows and it’s completely free to join!

However, as university students, it’s not always easy to get out and see numerous Fringe shows as, let’s face it, most of us are broke. But never fear! Free and discounted tickets are here!

The discounts don’t just stop at the Adelaide Fringe; you also receive discounts for tickets to the Adelaide Cabaret Festival, Spin Off Festival, WOMADelaide and many more.

Under the heading of ‘free tickets’, there are a number of shows and events that you can see that are, you guessed it, free.

There is of course the event that starts it all, the Fringe Parade, which was held on 14 February along King William Street.

The Parade is always a fun-filled night that invites everyone to get up, dance and join in with the performers as they shimmy on past you. It’s always a great way to kick off the Fringe season with a bang!

There are so many ways to get involved in the Fringe, so make sure you don’t miss out on all that it has to offer.

Having no money is no longer an excuse to stay home and watch everyone else enjoy the festivities of Mad March. You too can get out and get involved!

The Garden of Unearthly Delights is an amazing spectacle of the Fringe and plays host to The Garden Sessions every Saturday and Sunday night throughout the season. Held at The Bandstand stage, The Garden Sessions celebrate local musical talent and allow patrons to sit, relax and enjoy the melodic sounds of some of our most talented musicians, all for the low price of zero dollars.

The Garden also has the BankSA Free Concerts at The Bandstand stage running from Thursday to Sunday each week, showcasing some of the Fringe’s best comedic, cabaret, circus and musical acts.

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Thaipusam Festival in Kuala Lumpur Ben Allison | Photography by Max Allison

I recently embarked on a vacation with my family to Malaysia and Singapore during the uni break. My trip fell over the 14th to the 26th of January, starting in Kuala Lumpur and ending in Singapore.

During this time, unbeknownst to us, the annual Thaipusam festival took place.

Thaipusam is a thanksgiving of sorts to the Hindu deity, Lord Murugan. It falls on the full moon of the tenth month of the Hindu calendar, which happened to be on the 17th of January this year.

Lord Murugan that stands at the bottom of the 272 stone steps leading up into the caves.

Many devotees that participate in the procession bear kavadi (offerings) to Lord Murugan, which can weigh up to 70kg.

These kavadi need to be carried the full distance of the trek, as well as up the 272 steps to the top of the Batu Caves.

I thought of the devotees as I climbed the steps days after the festival. The steps are very steep and if I was struggling in the humid heat, I couldn’t even imagine bearing a 70kg offering as well.

One night while walking back from the Petaling Street Chinese night markets, my As well as offering kavadi, devotees often family and I were astounded to stumble across literally “We had unknowingly witnessed a perform physical acts— including piercing the thousands of people portion of the 15 kilometre journey skin with metal all walking through that many devotees embark on for skewers or fishing the street. the festival.” hooks—to show their It felt claustrophobic gratitude to Lord Murugan. being in a space with that many people Devotees who carry out these physical acts walking past. claim that they do not feel any pain and Other tourists looked on in confusion interestingly shed no blood while doing so. wondering where these people, many of As well as being host to Thaipusam, the whom were barefoot, were going.

Batu Caves are an extremely popular We later found out that it was the night tourist destination. The caves are listed before Thaipusam and we had unknowingly number five in TIME Magazine’s ‘Ten witnessed a portion of the 15 kilometre Things To Do’ in Kuala Lumpur. journey that many devotees embark on for Once you make the steep climb up the the festival. steps to the cave, you are greeted by very Each year, millions of devotees walk the cute, yet equally frightening Cynomolgus long distance from Sri Mahamariamman monkeys that will feed on anything and Temple in the heart of the city of Kuala everything you have to give. The monkeys Lumpur, all the way to the Batu Caves. have obviously learnt that tourists can be This year it was estimated that 1.5 million extremely generous. people would arrive at the Batu Caves for Despite greedy monkeys, the Batu Caves the festival. really are worth seeing and I would urge The Batu Caves are a Hindu place of anyone travelling to Kuala Lumpur to worship located in the Gombak district visit them. and are one of the most popular locations for Thaipusam, which is celebrated across the globe.

The first thing you notice when you reach the caves is the 42.7 metre gold statue of 20

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HB, FB: 10 Years of Procrastination Danielle O’Connor

“T

ns co s hi

tan

t

of fl ow

information has becom e so m ew

h at o

lar f a necessity, particu

n Ge n i it h ly w

The world’s most recognised social network has recently hit double digits. It’s been a decade since a fresh-faced Mark Zuckerberg launched Facebook from his Harvard dorm room. Congrats, Zuckerberg. You hit the big time.

read before I logged off my computer (only to do a quick check on my phone once I’m in bed) so that I don’t miss anything. I mean, really, who doesn’t want to be in the know 20 times over about what Adelaide’s weather is doing? Admit it, you do it too.

Initially, Facebook was a way for Harvard students to communicate before its reach expanded to high schools and other colleges of the like. Today, it’s a platform for anyone of any age—despite a restriction on users under 13-years-old—to interact and network with people around the world. Friends and family on opposite sides of the globe can keep in touch without the screaming matches usually involved in long-distance phone calls.

The dominance of social media is everywhere, and students struggle to maintain a balanced lifestyle. Getting enough quality and regular sleep, devoting an adequate amount of time to study and keeping a healthy (and real) social life is practically unheard of, and Facebook is contributing to the issue.

It’s also a brilliant way to reconnect with that pen pal you had from Argentina who’s now 6’3”, full of muscle and has their profile set to public. Aside from infinite opportunities to network with friends and family, what kind of influence is this phenomenon having on our day-to-day lives? Enter students everywhere.

I’ve been an avid and devoted Facebook user since 15 March 2009. Specific, right?

I know this because Facebook told me, just like it tells me when my friends’ birthdays are, and what events I agreed to attend months ago. These are but some of the innovations and ingenuity old mate Mark and his buddies developed for our ease and convenience.

This constant flow of information has become somewhat of a necessity, particularly within Gen Y. It’s infiltrated every one of our screens from desktop to laptop to tablet to mobile, and I’m no exception to the rule. I’m the first to admit that I’ll scroll right down to the last post I 22

It’s the perfect form of procrastination: simply refresh the page and your newsfeed is instantly flooded with hilarious videos, trivial status updates and uncomfortably relevant university memes. It’s a vicious cycle.

But Facebook isn’t the source of the problem. We are. A well-seasoned procrastinator will find a way to avoid work no matter what—the internet is merely one distraction. Even cleaning one’s room can become a fascinating-even-to-the-point-ofenjoyable task when the call of assignments sounds. There are definitely limits that we as Facebook users need to enforce on ourselves for the sake of our degrees and, quite possibly, our lecturers’ collective sanity.

So don’t be ‘that guy’, up at 3am writing an essay due at 9am the same day because you procrastinated on Facebook for too long.

I’ve been ‘that guy’.

That guy sucks.

fail

Y.”

If you decide you can’t help but procrastinate for a while, why not take the scenic route to Hahndorf and check out the historical and current goodies on offer there!

Historical attractions St Michael’s Lutheran Church St Michael’s is the oldest Lutheran church in Australia to still have a worshipping congregation on its original church site. Founded in 1839.

The Cedars Sir Hans Heysen established “The Cedars” in 1912, which remained his home and studio until his death in 1968.

Wineries Ancient Earth Aboriginal Art Gallery Diverse and celebrated Aboriginal art from around Australia. Open 11am-5pm Beerenberg Strawberry Farm German Migration Museum at The Hahndorf Academy

Hahndorf Hill Winery Maximillians Nepenthe Wines One Planet Cellars Petaluma Shaw & Smith The Lane Vineyard

Hahndorf Leather Shop & Bush Gallery

‘Hahndorf’ Illustration by Pip Kruger www.pipdesign.com.au www.facebook.com/pipdesign

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The Fresher Renée Biele

Milk Bread Vodka Toothpaste Rice 24

Summer still clings to my skin And sand to my toes My arms are heavy With the new books I’d ordered online The country air fades from my nostrils Adelaide has a different smell It twists through my nose and I want to scratch In the heart of North Adelaide On the very edge of the city The smell holds something completely different The warmth of the pavement And the pale stench of the River Torrens Joins with the sound of the air planes Coming way too close How will I ever get used to this?

A pile of course pamphlets and bus timetables littered The bed yet to be made University commences in a week It was solely on my mind Je dois étudier! I must study!

I’d learned that expression For my coming language classes Shakespeare was in the boxes at my feet I stare intently at the first pamphlet I had a week This orientation week To organise myself Anxiety and excitement whirled in my stomach But the corridor was buzzing A pounding noise breaks my concentration A big orange haired boy Sticks his head through the door An engineering shirt proudly on his chest A beer in his hand ‘Fresher, you coming?’

‘What?’ What had he just called me?

‘Fresher, we gotta go! There is chair jousting to be done!’

‘What? My name is...’

‘Fresher. Freshman. That’s you from now on.

I’m your big brother and I’ll show you how it’s done,’ His voice boomed at me.

‘I’ve got to study...’

‘It’s O-Week!’

‘O-Week?’

‘Orientation? Come on, arts student!’

He was leering dangerously over my books The beer threatening to spill over ‘I’ll be right there,’ I say I take one look back At my waiting books But he had me by the collar

*Ess Pay ay due o p n Pubc hone bi March ll raw l t-s by 21st 19th!! hirt

The corridor is full of suitcases Their new home for most With a fringe of nostalgia Spilling from the boxes New students like me Moving from all over the state Or even from overseas Instead of packing The boys have their office chairs Turned around to form their horses Packing boxes on their heads as helmets Being pushed, their chairs hurtle Towards each other Their legs forward Their foot jousts colliding Our ey They fall back laughing es She fin lock in sava Ignoring their bumps and bruises ge is Lets ou hes before m competition ‘I have to study...’ I start again e t a belc ‘Med s h in vic My big brother only says tudent t ory sa don’t w ‘Mount up, fresher’ orry ab re the best d rinkers out it f My bro There was that name again , resher th ’ a chee er smiles an A tiny Asian girl r d we h it our g Univer Legs nowhere as long as mine lasses sity ha in s I b didn’t een a lo Is already on her steed want t n g t im o O e b r ientatio e distr comin Eyes behind her glasses glowing acted g n We But m ‘Come at me!’ y book ek is the tim e s fo c For no r prepa I am taken aback w it wa ould wait ration s O-We By the fierceness in her voice ek!

But climb the chair that had materialised Someone pushes me before I can even take a breath We struck each other I am dazed and dizzy But he already had my arm ‘To the Common Room!’

The engineering boy yells The room is full of new students All in their own transition To a college life The cask wine is cut And splashes into the water cooler My stomach turns I am too old for ‘goon’ A cup is shoved into my hand My stomach is queasy from the punch The ‘Old Cols’ (Old Collegians) leer over us, daring us to skull A beer is placed in front of me Sloshing over the sides Everyone starts yelling The ‘freshers’ line up The engineering boys form a supportive back line The medicine student in front of me Mirrors my nerves As our turn comes We chug!

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University Hell Courtney Bottrill

The world that I used to know, used to belong to, isn’t the same for me anymore.

All of us have changed so much from what we used to be like; I can hardly recognise my own reflection anymore. I never thought that going to university would change my life irrevocably, and who would? I just thought that maybe I’d make a few friends and learn things that I didn’t know, and I guess that’s true now, but not in the way that I thought it would. Not at all.

BANG! The door slammed open, causing every person who filled the lecture hall to turn around in fright. The person in the doorway looked like someone from the drama department who had been playing with too much stage makeup, but the crazed look in his eyes made me think he wasn’t acting. Blood ran down his face in a continuous stream from a wound somewhere above his eyebrows. His shirt was ripped and torn in so many places there really wasn’t much of it left.

‘What are you doing here?’ the lecturer called out, clearly not amused at having their lecture interrupted. The man in the door didn’t answer, and just seemed to continually survey the room, looking for something.

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All of a sudden he lurched forward, rushing towards the last row of students sitting closest to the door that he came through.

Screams erupted through the hall as he latched onto the neck of a young girl that had the unfortunate luck of being the closest human to him. Blood spurted from the wound in her neck, covering the shocked and terrified faces of the students in front of the scene. It was like time was moving in slow motion—for a few seconds no one seemed to move or even breathe.

We all just sat in shock at what was happening right in front of us.

My day had started out like any other. After waking up I went through the motions of getting ready for my first day of uni. My usually light handbag now weighed heavily on my shoulder—much like my expectations of what university was going to be like—as it now carried a textbook and a notebook that I had thought would be necessary on my first day. Parking had been a nightmare, and I cursed every name under the sun to the people who had not told me about this dilemma when I’d attended O-Week. I’d gotten lost three times trying to find the lecture hall and only ended up finding my way when I overheard other girls talking about the same class I was trying to find.

Screaming from the girl currently being mauled pulled me back to the present where I now realised that people had started to flood their way to the doors, pushing against each other like cattle being lead to the slaughter. The movement clearly startled the man from the doorway and he turned around and latched himself onto the neck of another girl within his reach. It was like a really bad version of Twilight, except biting people is inappropriate and this guy was definitely not an attractive sparkly vampire who was covered in blood. The neck of his first victim looked like he had tried to tear her apart, piece by piece, her muscles and veins visible amongst the blood flowing from her neck.

But I didn’t have to look back, for across the quad there were bodies everywhere, many with neck wounds, the smell of blood permeating the air. It was like I had stepped onto the set of a horror movie.

It just didn’t feel real. There was smoke billowing from the windows in some of the buildings, and I felt a pang as I watched parts of the library engulf in flames.

Hundreds of people around me, running in all directions, were screaming loudly, as if that would help their situation. I jogged as fast as I could to my car, having to stop several times and inhale from my asthma puffer. Eventually reaching my car, I thanked anyone who would listen that I had the sense to bring my handbag with me, even though I’d left my notebooks behind.

Girls and even a few guys around me were screaming at people to hurry and get through the door, and some were even smart enough to rush to the front of the room where the emergency exits were; I knew that they were there for a reason. I turned and located the wannabe vampire and saw a litany of bodies surrounding the floor around him. At least ten of my classmates had been mauled, and not all of them on their necks. He was now sucking down his eleventh victim when I finally pushed my way out the door, not wanting to look back at the horror that was still going on inside.

I started my car and drove away from the campus as fast as legally possible. It was then that I realised that no one could ever have had a worse first day of university than we had that day and that there are some things that are much harder than finding your way to your first class.

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Review | The Wolf of Wall Street Ben Allison I’m going to be honest; I had been putting off watching The Wolf of Wall Street for a while purely based on its 180 minute run time.

But let me tell you, The Wolf of Wall Street is worth every minute of your time.

Directed by Martin Scorsese and based on Jordan Belfont’s memoir of the same name, this dark comedy pushes the boundaries and offers up three hours packed with entertainment.

The film follows the life of Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio), a sleazy drug addict, stockbroker who isn’t afraid to bend the rules to get more cold hard cash in his wallet.

Throughout the film, Belfont snorts every drug under the sun, battles giant waves in his yacht, crashes his Ferrari, and faces off against FBI Agents. At times it’s hard to believe this film is based on a real-life memoir.

DiCaprio is joined by Jonah Hill who sports (noticeable) prosthetic teeth for his role as Belfont’s right-hand man, Donnie Azof.

Aussie Margot Robbie is a treat as Belfont’s second wife, shedding her Australian accent and developing a Staten Island tongue. She sounds as if she just walked off the set of Mob Wives rather than Neighbours.

Matthew McConaughey and Joanna Lumley also have supporting roles in the film.

The Wolf of Wall Street has broken records for the amount of f-bombs spoken in one film, clocking in at over 500 times (not that I counted), but if you’re not offended by strong profanity, drug use, the mistreatment of little people, and nudity, then I would definitely recommend seeing this film.

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Review | The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Divya Balakumar So we have a movie with Ben Stiller in it.

Thinking slapstick, along the lines of The Heartbreak Kid? No. Laugh-out-loud funny, à la Meet the Parents? Not quite. But think ‘profound’ and ‘thoughtful’, and you’re on the right track. Directed by Stiller himself, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty is an adaptation of a short story of the same name featuring a character who daydreams. A lot. In his daydreams, Mitty is suave, charming and says all the right things. But his reality is not quite the same until he receives a puzzling letter.

Stiller manages to bring in the funny-man in what is a thought provoking film with such emotional depth—something that undeniably takes effort but he does quite effortlessly.

The movie features stunning scenes of the sea, volcanoes, mountainous regions and Adam Scott’s epic beard. Trust me, you want to check that beard out.

The soundtrack brought together some of the world’s most memorable music acts, namely Arcade Fire, Of Monsters and Men and Swedish psychedelic rock band Junip.

I found myself drifting off—much like Walter Mitty—distracted by the music in the background.

If a movie that causes you to dramatically contemplate life decisions is what you’re after, then this is the one. At the end of the screening, I was left with questions; largely peculiar ones about my choices in life, and the path that I am on (i.e. ‘Is this all worth it? Should we all just climb mountains and search for the meaning of life?’).

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Review | Frozen Prerna Ashok Disney has succeeded yet again with Frozen, their latest family story adapted from Hans Christian Andersen’s The Snow Queen. Set in the Scandinavian countryside, the story follows Elsa and Anna, two princesses who lose their parents at a young age. Elsa faces the additional challenge of being cursed—or blessed, depending on your point of view— with the power to create ice and snow.

However, her powers grow stronger to the point that anything she touches freezes; an interesting twist on the Midas touch.

At Elsa’s coronation, a confrontation between the two sisters reveals Elsa’s powers and she flees in panic, inadvertently plunging the entire town into an eternal winter. Anna is determined to fix the rift between them and bring back summer. She pursues Elsa with the help of Kristoff, an ice deliverer, and his reindeer, Sven. Along the way they meet Orloff, a snowman that Anna and Elsa built when they were children, who provides most of the comedy and is an endearing, loyal character.

For a change, Disney have diverted from the traditional love story between a man and a woman to foster themes of familial love, loyalty and friendship.

Although I wasn’t a fan of the soundtrack, aside from Elsa’s solo Let it Go, the creators have hit the mark with a compelling, funny, easy to watch film with loveable characters that are entertaining.

While the movie did not have the desired cooling effect during the Adelaide heat wave, it is one I’d happily watch again on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

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