FIRMINO WRONG WAY, GO BACK CAMPUS MAPS
NAVIGATE O-WEEK AND BEYOND!
UTSVERTIGO.COM
editors
WTF is SSAF? …aka the new compulsory fee
CONTENTS
Martha Azzi Jezelle Boughaleb Mariam Chehab Lisa Dieu Azal Khan Jessica Looi
CREATIVE director Elle Williams
ART & DESIGN Ben Walker
WAY, 10 WRONG GO BACK
CONTRIBUTORS
The Student Services and Amenities Fee – or SSAF – is a new compulsory fee introduced by the Federal Government to bring important services to all students, and to revitalise university life all around Australia. What does this mean for us? Well at UTS, it’s $131.50 per semester for most fulltime students, or $65.75 for most part-timers – and the good news is that for most of us, it’s deferrable through SA-HELP. At UTS, the funding will be allocated to UTS Services, the Union and the UTS Students’ Association to spend on things like healthcare, legal services, sporting facilities, events, food and beverage, student clubs and financial assistance. SSAF will benefit all of us – whether undergrad or postgrad, full-time or part-time, Lindfield or City-based. Is this compulsory unionism? NO. The fee does not automatically sign us up to the Union, plus the money is not allowed to be spent on political parties.
How do we have our say on how our money is spent? Well the first thing is to realise that the Students’ Association is, funnily enough, the association for students! It’s our voice on campus. Drop by and chat to a Student Rep about what matters to you and let’s make it happen. Last year we surveyed thousands of students – as a result, we’re funding free breakfast at the Bluebird Brekkie Bar over 2012. Some of you told us you work full-time, so we’re extending our Second-Hand Bookshop and Caseworker hours. You hyperventilated when you forgot your calculator for an exam, so we’re creating the first ever Student Survival Centre. You got screwed over by your landlord, so we’re starting a free legal service. Stay in the loop by signing up for free membership at the SA office on Level 3 of the Tower, or have your say on our Facebook page.
Let’s make 2012 the year of the student. Our voice. Our way. Our SA.
www.sa.uts.edu.au
Antigone ANAGNOSTELLIS ANONYMOUS Gina BALDASSARRE Bek BALDWIN Tabitha CHAN Ned COOPER Al JEDLIN Ash MYBURGH Sophia PHAN Tom SMITH Hannah STORY Kim VO Liam WILLIAMS
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Editorial
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What’s on
8
getting around
11 8 ball 12 it’s a guy thing
ADVERTISING
14 Defamer
Stephanie King
16 HOW NOT TO
WITH THANKS TO Jade Tyrell et al. Spotpress Pty Ltd, Marrickville
COVER IMAGE Elle Williams Vertigo and its entire contents are protected by copyright. Vertigo will retain reprint rights, contributors retain all other rights for resale and republication. No material may be reproduced without the prior written consent of the copyright holders. Vertigo would like to show its respect and acknowledge the Traditional Custodians of the Land, the Gadigal and Guring-gai people of the Eora Nation, upon whose ancestral lands the university now stands. More than 500 Indigenous Nations shared this land for over 40,000 years before invasion. We express our solidarity and continued commitment to working with Indigenous peoples in Australia and around the world, in their ongoing struggle for land rights, self-determination, sovereignty, and the recognition and compensation for past injustices.
20 DID YOU KNOW? 22 Showcase 26 Procrastination central 28 What not to wear 29 Technology 30 sport + opinion 31 Best of pub food 32 reviews 36 recipes 38 Road test 39 Random rant 40 games 41 from the president
Vertigo is published by the UTS STUDENTS ASSOCIATION Printed by SPOTPRESS PTY LTD, MARRICKVILLE Email advertising@utsvertigo.com for advertising enquiries
SUBMIT TO VERTIGO
EDITORIAL First years, welcome to the real world. Everyone else, unfortunately we’re still stuck here. Congratulations on choosing UTS, the ugliest uni in Sydney…but don’t worry, it’s only on the exterior – on the inside, we have things that other unis wish for. Escalators. And that’s about it. Okay maybe also that little patch of grass we have outside building one. For the rest of you dedicated students, now begins another year of tallying your marks to see how many more you need in order to pass that mind-numbing subject. Another year of waiting for the wireless to work, waiting for professors to learn how to use projectors, waiting for the construction to finish AND WAITING FOR THE NEW ISSUE OF VERTIGO! We are Vertigo, your independent student magazine, that’s run by students, for students. We’re a bunch of welleducated, extremely good-looking students. Well, that’s what our mums say. And they never lie. We’re a team scattered across Journalism, International Studies, Law, Science and Information Media faculties. And together, we will run the world. One day. For now, we’ll settle for Vertigo. This O-week issue will take you on a journey to Hamburg where you will acquaint yourself with Firmino, the FarmVille… *cough* enthusiast. Take the express ride to Procrastination Central to terminate your boredom, and flick to our revamped Defamer section where resident caricaturist Tabitha will amaze you with her thought-provoking drawings. Our regular sections – reviews, showcase, food and road test – also return this year. This first issue was made from our blood, sweat and tears and hopefully is entertaining enough to help you push through those never-ending hours of listening to teachers talking about... well who knows what they talk about.
lisa
and we can make you smile with confidence
MARTHA
submissions@utsvertigo.com
WHO’S CHECKING YOU OUT? Have you been checking someone out at uni? Too shy to let your feelings be known?
AZAL JEZELLE
Take your stalking to a whole new level. SMS 0404 449 606 and let that special person know. Don’t forget to leave your name/alias and faculty.
Feel obliged to give us your feedback at: editorial@utsvertigo.com. Happy O-Week!
The Vertigo team
MARIAM JESSICA
ILLUSTRATIONS: TABITHA CHAN
VERTIGO ISSUE ONE
5
CALENDAR
GET READY FOR...
MARCH
THE VERTIGO launch paRTy ONE DOUBLE PASS TO CREAMFIELDS UP FOR GRABS
youR chance to MEET THE EDITORS IN THE FLESH
MORE DETAILS TO COME. CHECK OUR FACEBOOK and twitter pages for updates.
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FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/utsvertigo
ISSUE ONE TWITTER:VERTIGO @VertigoMagazine 7
Seeking uninterrupted study time? Try Level 4 and above *Note: Street level = level 2
CB02
ULTIMO RD
The oh-so-fabulous green area. Also accessible from Quay St, this comfy space is great for chilling out, studying, or eating between classes.
Furnished with tables and powerpoints, this area is perfect if you’re intent on nerding it up, but you NEED to get outside
HAYMARKET CAMPUS
THOMAS ST
TOWER BUILDING
CB01
CB04
LIBRARY
CM05A
CM05B
CM05D
LAW
BUSINESS
CM05C
DARLING HARBOUR
CB08
HARRIS ST
ULTIMO RD
Cafe/courtyard: If you’re looking for somewhere quiet to grab lunch and chat to new friends, this is the right place
This way to escape to Chinatown and lose yourself in cheap and yummy food!
Looking for a pre/poststudy caffiene hit?
The Hub: food, coffee and stationary awaits
GUS GUTHRIE THEATRE
MARKET CITY
Buy uni textbooks here
DAB
CB06
You can grab brekkie/ lunch and hang out here
Shortcut to Haymarket campus (follow Central tunnel to the end) Haymarket is also accessible via Building 6 (past the cafe and down the stairs)
ENTERTAINMENT CENTER
CO-OP BOOKSHOP
CB03
THE LOFT
BON MARCHE
THE GLASSHOUSE
UNIVERSITY HALL
The only place you can be at one with nature
Our uni bars! - but don’t stroll into class drunk (it’s just not a great look)
Our glorified crap-stack, otherwise known as the tower building. There’s a food court on the bottom level (follow the stairs down)
We like to call this our lobby (but it’s not really). Don’t depend on finding a place to rest your tired self
BRO AD WA Y
Ground floor features a quiet-ish study area, with whiteboards & PC support
Duck in before class for a quick snack
CB10
Free brekkie on Wednesday mornings at the Bluebird Cafe
WAT T LE
ST
ULtimo CAMPUS
getting around
HARRIS ST
JONES ST
We put together some handy tips to make your first week at uni that little bit easier! Jessica Looi and Elle Williams
DARLING DR
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QUAY S T
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ULTIMO PEDESTRIAN NETWORK
8 Ball Did Steve Jobs deserve all the accolades? NO Yes MARIAM CHEHAB
Liam Williams
Some wise words from Mariam Chehab about the things you’ll learn at uni…the hard way. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
ILLUSTRATION JOHNNY LE
Group work Get ready to hate humanity, and sharpen your knives before you check your emails and facebook group page – you’ll stab yourself first because you’re the closest group member available for slaughter. Lecturers and tutors regurgitate shit and sweet, sweet revenge when they say group work benefits your uni experience. It’s a conspiracy – they know we hate it (and our team members) and if WE kill each other, they don’t have to share a prison cell with another psycho who infringes their personal and mental space, who makes them do all the hard work and dirty laund – well there you go again, IT NEVER STOPS, DAMMIT.
Anyway, disgruntled, silent reader, enrolling will make you sympathise with dictators who shut down universities.
Diet Was your new year’s resolution to eat well? YOU’LL FAIL. Did you dream of acquiring abs or just being able to see your toes whilst standing? YOU’LL FAIL. Promise yourself that you would only eat quality food after your last bout of gastro? YOU’LL FAIL.
Finances Sleep, or lack thereof You will be cursing your inner child for hating sleep as a kid, because dear friend, fellow UTSer, you will have to sacrifice this beautiful, beautiful thing in order to complete your multiple assignments that are due on the same day. Soon, you’ll be playing ‘Spot the Sleep Deprived!’ with your friends – it’s pretty easy to locate them – they’ll be walking into walls (and the wrong lecture rooms) trying to conceal their extreme eye spasms.
Bibliographies It will take you longer to do the bibliography than the actual essay. When considering the above, you are well and truly screwed.
Did you see that homeless person in Central tunnel, with his dirty, stained hat in front of him, baring his soul and his life to the world? Yes. Okay. Sad isn’t it? Now, did you walk past and give him some coins? No? Not even silver? YOU HORRIB – just kidding, neither do we at Vertigo. We’re tight. But ... did you walk past, look at his hat and count his money? No? WELL YOU BETTER KNOW HOW MUCH YOU’LL MAKE BECAUSE HECS WILL DO THAT TO YOU BABY. And so, dear Vertigo reader, you know things are bad when you contemplate stealing a homeless person’s coins to help pay for the coffee that will sustain you throughout the night to work on an assessment that your group should have been helping you on while stuffing yourself with a beverage that resembles a ‘food’.
Enrolling Did the new students have to enrol before everyone else? Or did you experience all our hell last year when we tried? (note the word ‘tried’) No? ... Yes? ... why aren’t you answering?
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Good luck new students! (See you in the wrong lecture room!)
I was quick to brush over the death of Steve Jobs, not really stopping to think about the greatness that he had achieved throughout his career. Like many of you, I did this whilst surfing the internet on my MacBook with my iPod blaring in the background, completely oblivious to the irony that existed in my utter dependence to Jobs’ legacy. Being a ‘90s child, personal computers have pretty much always been around. I grew up assuming that computers were always going to improve and Jobs, with his media extravaganzas and weird turtleneck/jeans outfits, was merely riding on the success of others. I was wrong. Steve Jobs is the closest thing we have to the fabled revolutionaries of old. With the world on the brink of great change, what was needed was not another Einstein or Edison but a true leader to steer us into the digital age. That man was Jobs. Jobs was not a Harvard graduate, nor had a wealthy upbringing and for the most part, he was not even a very talented engineer. Jobs was a visionary – a man that had the courage to seek perfection when others settled for adequacy. Whilst Jobs is often accredited as the co-founder of Apple, he was so much more. Steve Jobs was Apple. To Jobs, Apple was more than an opportunity to develop personal computers; it was a company that had the ability to change the way people go about their lives. Apple developed products that not only challenged what was previously thought possible but also formed a completely new global culture. Jobs visualised a company which was able to converge multiple needs. Thanks to this vision we will no longer have to suffer through the plight of not having a single device to make phone calls, check emails or tag friends on Facebook. Sure, Steve Jobs was not the perfect leader - he admitted himself that he was subject to many flaws. He was an extreme perfectionist and sought the same standards from his entire business. However, these flaws are a mere speck on his career in which he managed to revolutionize technological development and open people’s eyes to the endless possibilities of tomorrow.
I own absolutely no Apple products, and never have. Maybe that’s why I’m taking this position. Or perhaps it’s because of my inability to use Macs. Or technology. But when Steve Jobs died, I could not believe the almost nauseating level of grief that came gushing forth to this ‘visionary’, ‘hero’, ‘revolutionary’. I’m not saying Jobs didn’t deserve accolades – he did – but to that extent? The reaction made it seem as if society didn’t function before Apple. News flash – society functioned before Apple. Society was still functioning when an apple simply meant fruit and apple products related to stuff made from them, like juice. It was the hysterical fawning that was just mindblowing, like this one from technology website Gizmodo: “He accomplished so many things...that it’s tempting to compare Jobs to someone from the past. A Thomas Edison...or even a Leonardo Da Vinci. We tend to do that because it helps us understand. But it does him a disservice. He was unique. His own person. Our own person.” See what I mean?! What about Isaac Newton and apples? An apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Now if an Apple falls on your head you’d most likely die. Has the way Jobs changed technology been all that great anyway? Hasn’t it made your life just a little harder? Remember the cons? Stress, distraction, less physical interaction, more work and social awkwardness. And besides, we could shop, talk and listen to music before Apple. Everything is reinvented after a while. Put simply, strip back the hype and it appears Jobs was a business leader who went about trying to make a profit. Surprise surprise, you say, that’s capitalism you say, you lost your argument a loonngg time ago you say. I know that, but just listen. When he died, the world virtually ignored the fact that some 17 Apple workers in China committed suicide and died from exhaustion (to the point where nets were erected around the building and workers had to sign a ‘no suicide’ pact) and that when Jobs went back to Apple in 1997 he eliminated the philanthropy programs, which have not been reinstated. Shouldn’t that have been mentioned more often? I mean no disrespect to the man. I just don’t think he deserved all the accolades.
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IT’S A GUY THING
AL JEDLIN
Al Jedlin gives us the view from Mars.
I hate first years, I always have. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s an irrational disgust, or maybe it’s because they’re younger and prettier than I am. When asked to write this article I reflected on this hatred and in doing so I realised my hypocrisy, because, as a first year I committed every faux pas imaginable. To make up for my sins, I’m going to tell you what NOT to do, because I wish someone, anyone, had told me. (But I still loathe you)
As a first year I committed every faux pas imaginable 1. Don’t arrive at your first lecture ten minutes late as I did (which is pretty ridiculous considering I live ten minutes away). 2. After somehow finding a seat, please don’t begin talking to a friend. I did, and within moments I was caught out by the lecturer. It’s always fun to have six hundred people not only looking at you, but also judging your tardiness and rudeness before they even know your name. This was the only lecture I attended; probably why I failed my first assignment. Big win for me right there - made the rentals incredibly proud. 3. So, I suppose number three is: don’t fail your first assignment, preferably don’t fail any, but let’s be realistic. Which leads us to… 4. Do the work. I know you won’t, but it makes me look like a better person for saying it. Bets on whether I did a
reading? Or even looked at UTS online? Not a chance. But you should. 5. No school memorabilia. On the aforementioned first day, I turned up wearing my high school tracksuit pants. I had been running late from a much-needed nap, so I slipped back into my private school boy ways. Not the greatest first impression. 6. Don’t be a <insert appropriate adjective here>: Over the coming weeks I rocked up late to group meetings with a rainbow of club stamps down my arm and was that obnoxiously loud guy talking to a myriad of girls (go me) because having girls in class was this new stimulating experience. Bad. 7. Speaking of the fairer sex, don’t hit on one on the first day. She is most likely nervous and sees you as a nice guy who just wants to “be friends” or sees through your “friendly gesture” when you ask her to the bar for those ‘”ridiculously cheap 4 dollar drinks”. You’ve got 13 weeks to slip it in; don’t have a crack on day one at the Glasshouse. Otherwise you could find yourself sitting awkwardly across the room, as some never-been talks about Foucault in a monotonous tone, wishing that you were the one whispering witty jokes to this fine creature. Instead you’re avoiding her piercing dagger stares. Despite all my faux pas, I came out of my first year with half a dozen “true friends” and culled a lot of average ones from high school. I also managed to follow my personal motto: suck the juice of life out of every second, and by any standard metric I did; and then some. So, on that note, I implore you - have fun, but not too much, because no one wants to fail their first assignment.
Are textbooks crippling your budget? Buy current edition second-hand books at the Students’ Association’s Second-Hand Bookshop View our catalogue at www.sa.uts.edu.au/books
For some 20 years now, the UTS Students’ Association has helped students save money on textbooks through our not-for-profit second-hand bookstore. Rather than spending hundreds on spanking new books which you probably only need for 6 months, you can buy up-to-date books at a reduced price, and then resell with us after your exams to recover your money. NEW STORE at Haymarkets! Opening Feb 27 Monday to Friday, 11am-2pm at The Hub, Building 5B Broadway Hours Monday to Friday, 12-6pm Thursdays til 9pm during semester Level 3, Tower Building, near the food court
Student Association www.sa.uts.edu.au Enquiries 9514 7788
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+
the
+
Defamer since 2010
BY TABITHA CHAN AND MARIAM CHEHAB
DISCLAIMER: The images and text portrayed are not intended to defame any individual, group or organisation. This is our attempt at satire; apologies if our sense of humour is not in line with yours.
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ADVICE
FEATURE
How not to:
sound like you had A boring break Not everyone has a life. Sophia Phan doesn’t – she wrote this.
I wish I could ramble on about how totally hot my tan is, the number of cities and people I made friends with and the amount of nights I spent crouched over the toilet bowl. Unfortunately, I cannot. Though, yes, I am deliciously brown, thanks to my skin’s natural ability to change colour whenever there is sunlight nearby (I am yet to master the whole breasts and rain ESP gig, but it’s getting there), that’s about as adventurous as my holidays got. In reality I’m just a poor, tired girl who spent her Saturday night watching In Time, only to realise what a complete waste of time that movie was and then proceeded to recount that story to whomever I saw – online, that is. That, ladies and gents, is definitive of my university break. Other notable highlights included sampling (by which I mean stuffing my face with) Oportos’ Potato Poppers, getting mindfucked (yet again) by Steven Moffat and obtaining a giant One Direction poster (hey thanks, Dolly doctors!). You could say I was readjusting myself for university life during the break, because hey, acclimatising’s a bitch. For you ever-so-keen-first-years, heed my warning: university breaks aren’t all that great. Some of my friends would beg to differ, but hey, who cares what they think.
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Don’t worry, I’m not going to be offering any guidance or counsel, contrary to what the title of this column may be titled (sorry alcoholics!). No, I’m more like your Chandler Bing – not so great at the advice, but more than happy to offer you a sarcastic comment. See, I too longed to escape from lectures and tutorials and terrible coffee and that goddamn-shitass-motherfucking trek of a walk through the tunnel at Central. I once tried to appreciate the tangy lingering scent of three-day urine and the equally flaccid décor of the gaping hole by pretending I was a unicorn galloping to greener pastures, but your imagination only gets you so far. We are all guilty of bitching and whining and complaining during class, but once you’re into Day 102 of your break, you start to miss routine and rhythm. Staying in contact with friends is tough as everybody is either busy making money or spending it away in some exotic country, and going out is tough because you’re either broke or have work the next day or have nobody to go out with. Avoiding the fact that you’ve been counting down the days until semester resumes can be quite perplexing. But, my ugly ducklings, the secret to not sounding like you’ve had a boring break is to not talk about it at all. Just think about it: if you don’t ask your friends how their break was, chances are they won’t ask you. And, it’s even easier if you don’t have friends! Cake.
FIRMINO
As one young traveller learnt the hard way, sometimes it’s better not to make friends. Especially with those who get ‘excited’ by FarmVille. Ned Cooper tells the story of his particularly strange encounter.
I am yet to come across a better fruit for tales than overseas travelling. Those profound moments or misadventures are worth 100 days at home in conversational value. However, among the glee and discovery of self there will always be the spice of a horror story or two. This is my entry into the bad book of travelling. I had just arrived in Hamburg alone after spending a while in Berlin. Christmas was spent successfully with four Columbians I had met in a Berlin hostel the previous week, so my immediate goal for Hamburg was clear: make some weird friends. The hostel room was bare on arrival but for one backpack and a small Brazilian flag hanging from the bottom bunk bed, with a glued-on face of a balding man. Noticing my prospective friend was absent, I left to explore the city, determined to meet said bald Brazilian on my return. Upon my arrival I was welcomed by the man. He lay on his side under his blanket, elbow at a 90-degree angle, propping up his rather gigantic pumpkin head – the standard Lionel
Richie or male porn-star pose. It was instantly recognisable that I had encountered an odd bod, a fruitcake; my kind of man. He was not reading, on the computer, or filing his nails. He just stared blankly towards the door, waiting for me. Introductions were made and somehow the discussion turned almost instantly to the exchange of Facebook information (I have since learned that such a quick request is a clear indicator that the requestor has some serious social problems). With the discussion turning to Facebook my new friend jumped on the opportunity to detail his blossoming FarmVille career. I’m no conversation engineer, but like any polite man, upon first meeting someone I like to discuss something VERTIGO ISSUE ONE
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About halfway down the Brazilian’s blue blanket there appeared movement at the station.
they are interested in to build rapport. I learnt about growing and harvesting crops, raising livestock and plowing land. It became evident digital agriculture was more to him than an activity; it had become a deeply important part of his lifestyle. As he continued, it was clear he was becoming more excited – the pace of his broken English rapidly increased and conjoining words was no longer necessary. I myself was excited that I was engaging with another quirky South American I could add to my tally. However my excitement, along with my comfort, was quickly rubbed out. About halfway down the Brazilian’s blue blanket there appeared movement at the station. At first I played it off as some prolonged rearrangement of his fruit bowl, perhaps a sneaky mangina. But the intensity grew, and the precise, vertical nature of his strokes confirmed my fears. I’m also yet to encounter a stare with that intensity. He was looking deep into my eyes with pure confidence and assurance that he was going to finish and it was OK to keep discussing FarmVille. More elaborate plots of acquiring farm coins were detailed, all the while multitasking with his right hand. It became clear he was not going to excuse himself – he was very, very comfortable. So I left, stating that I had to ‘unpack my bag’. I exited the conversation and entered the little room I was sleeping in. I sat on the bottom bunk faintly staring at the wall to gather
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my thoughts. I decided I had two options: pretend to be busy until he left the room, or immediately grab my stuff and march out. Being quite nervous at this point I became very indecisive, fumbling my clothes before a change of mind, then standing bolt upright ready to walk out the door and finally returning to my bed when I realised I didn’t have the confidence. It was
He was looking deep into my eyes with pure confidence and assurance that he was going to finish and it was OK to keep discussing FarmVille. then when I noticed the noises coming from the main section of the hostel room. So I sat and waited, like a son waiting outside a brothel for his deranged father to get his 50 bucks worth.
I waited – he climaxed, and I put my head in my hands. By now I had new resolve. I could not remain in this murky room a moment longer. I heard him changing, so I stood up and attempted to pace right past him. Out the door I would soon be to my freedom. But as I attempted to pace by him, head down with purpose, I was halted. ‘What are you doing for dinner?’ he asked. No! No Firmino! There was no acknowledgement of his prior deed. His brazen question completely threw my resolve, leaving me wobbling at the knees. Being a solo traveller I evidently had no plans, or at least I was not quick enough to create an imaginary friend I was to meet at dinner. So with all the confidence of a schoolgirl responding to inappropriate advances from a teacher I responded ‘No plans’. He was, again, in charge. ‘Ok well we can go to this Turkish place I saw when I was walking to the hostel.’ So, after I had waited for him to get dressed, we walked along the cold streets of Hamburg until we reached a little Turkish place. Upon entering the restaurant I was at pains to discover the only available two-person table was about the size of a Kindergarten school desk. We sat down, knees touching, his weapon of defilement but centimetres from touching me. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could sustain his close presence, so I ordered an entrée sized Mozzarella pizza. ‘Are you not very
hungry?’ he asked. ‘Not really,’ I responded. Can’t think where my appetite went. To my astonishment and disgust he ordered the hot and cold buffet. We sat in virtual silence as he licked hummus and tzatziki from his lips. To this day I am certain the prolonged sight of him eating that Turkish food is what causes me to always throw up after a Kebab. After two more helpings to the buffet he decided he was full. We paid and briskly walked back to the hostel. To my relief we were greeted by a group of new hostel guests at the bar. At some stage we split up as Firmino and another Australian left for a gay bar, while a Columbian, another Australian and I chose the bar with free Tabasco shots. That night I finally came to understand the phrase “drink away the pain”. I left the hostel early the next morning for Amsterdam and never did see Firmino again. Nonetheless, until deleting him as a Facebook ‘friend’, for the past 18 months I have received regular updates from his FarmVille account each time he has acquired new livestock or new land. Every time I have logged onto Facebook, I’ve been reminded of his rearing pumpkin head as he pumped away downstairs to the sound of his own voice discussing the game he truly loved. l
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DID YOU KNOW? McGillicuddy Serious Party [New Zealand]
DID YOU KNOW...
BIZARRE
POLITICAL
PARTIES Eternal life, inflatable classrooms and free dung. These are some policies of political parties around the world. We all know politicians are mad, but these groups take it to a whole new level...
This satirical political party operated from 1984 to 1999, and had its own ‘army’ whose ‘psychological weapons’ included mass singing and heavy duty assault poetry. They even challenged the New Zealand Army to a pillow fight in order to determine who should replace the Queen. In 1996, candidates were selected by a game of musical chairs. Some of their policies included: • Sending secret agents around the world in order to remove New Zealand off maps, as to reduce the chance of an invasion. • Replacing money with sand or chocolate fish. • Full employment through slavery. • Carpeting highways in order to help reduce tyre damage. • Good weather (if people behaved). • Free dung. • Beer as a military tactic: leaving bottles of beer on all beaches so that any invading armies would get drunk, abandon their attack while broken bottles would force them to retreat. Their slogan was “If you want to waste your vote, vote for us” and believe it or not, they got more than 12,000 votes in the 1996 general election. The 1999 election was less successful, and so the party leader agreed to be put in stocks while party members pelted him with rotten fruit.
mariam chehab
TWO-TAILED DOG Party [HUNGARY] This street-art group was founded in 2006, and four years later ran for office in Budapest. Their promises included: • Free beer. • World peace. • Eternal life. • One work day a week. • Two colourful sunsets a day. • Flooding the main streets to combat pollution and traffic. • Express buses that stop nowhere. • A restaurant on Mars. • Placing rubber ducks in every puddle deeper than 5 centimeters. Check out their English website: http://mkkp.hu/indexangol.html
THE RHINOCEROS Party [CANADA] The leader of this party was Cornelius the First, a rhinoceros from a local zoo. Their policies included: • To repeal the law of gravity. • Putting steroids in the water to make Canadians stronger. • Building taller schools in order to provide higher education.
THE FANCY DRESS PARTY [ENGLAND]
Formed in 1979, this party promised to: • Reduce crime and unemployment figures by using a smaller font. • Ensure children got a diet of mustard and hot sausage. • Build schools with inflatable classrooms so delinquent students can let the school down.
DONALD DUCK PARTY [SWEDEN] The leader of this party also happens to be the only member. What did it promise? Free liquor and wider sidewalks. Theoretically, they’ve won enough votes at points to become the country’s ninth-most-popular political party.
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SHOWCASE
ASH MYBURGH
Beautiful Dangerous series, 2011; B/W Ilford 400 ISO film (hand processed).
“A photographer’s most powerful tool is the mind - without a vision, you may as well be a photocopier.” This is the mantra of photographer and Visual Communications student Ash Myburgh. The music and fashion aficionado loves translating these passions into her photographs to tell a story; “I always like to have an underlying concept … being a designer, it’s crucial.” Untitled series featuring the guitarist of Athena Serpentine, 2011; B/W Ilford 400 ISO film (hand processed). Further evidence of her photographic prowess can be seen on her blog at: ASHMYBURGH.TUMBLR.COM
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want your work featured in showcase? submit to submissions@utsvertigo.com
UTS STUDENTS’ ASSOCIATION
FREE BREAKFAST FOR UTS STUDENTS Tower Building Wednesdays 8:30 - 11:00 AM
Untitled series, 2011; B/W Ilford 3200 ISO film (hand processed).
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ASHMYBURGH.TUMBLR.COM
PROCRASTINATION CENTRAL
PICK UP LINES
UTS is full of beautiful people. Beautiful, gorgeous people... who will no doubt walk away from you if you ever throw them these lines:
JESSICA LOOI
Maths
Architecture
Honey, you’re sweeter than 3.14... I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves If I were an integral, I’d fill you up
Are you into architecture? I thought so because I have been erecting something ever since I saw you Hey girl you be the defined void, I’ll be the isolated solid
Science Your lab or mine? Let’s meet somewhere...you bring your beaker and I’ll bring my stirring rod You are my density. I ... I mean my destiny If I was an enzyme, I’d be helicase so I could unzip your genes
Nursing, Midwifery and Health I wish I were adenine because then I could get paired with U My love for you is like diarrhoea; I can’t hold it in
SITES TO SURF
MARIAM CHEHAB
streetartutopia.com
vigilantcitizen.com
This website showcases amazing street art from around the world. Featuring 3D images, sculptures and visual puns from the likes of Banksy and other artists, the pics put graffiti-ists to shame.
Really interesting website if you love conspiracies about pop culture. This site looks at how music videos, films and famous landmarks contain hidden symbols that generally try to control your mind. No biggie.
BOOKSHELFPORN.COM
thingsorganizedneatly.tumblr.com/
THIS IS NOT A PORN WEBSITE. Sorry to disappoint you Vertigo reader, but it’s just a photo montage of bookshelves. And yes, people are interested in these things.
For all the neat freaks out there. This blog is pretty self explanatory, although some pics are actually quite cool, for example the photo of the jumbo jets aligned to make a snowflake. Pretty.
International Studies Hey baby, let me show you the ways I can get multilateral
Law How’d you like to come back to my place for a little actus reus? Your acceptance of my drink offer requires some “consideration” in the bedroom Hey, check out my briefs Is your estate subject to open? Wanna touch my dictum?
Information Technology Baby, you make my floppy disk turn into a hard drive You defragment my life I was hoping you wouldn’t block my pop up Hey, those are nice sets of floppies you have
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RANDOM FACEBOOK TRICK
I don’t know how, or why, but if you type the last three digits of your mobile in Facebook, it supposedly reveals the name of your sim card. Take the last 3 digits of your mobile number and type it into a Facebook comment box like this @[•••:0] Where the • is your number then press Enter , e.g @[369:0]
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TECHNOLOGY
ADVICE
WHAT NOT TO WEAR TO UNI
LISA DIEU Whether it be suicide, sex, violence.. and eugh.. baby shaking (seriously?) there’s bound to be an app out there. But Apple isn’t a fan of these strange creations and puts a big ‘no no’ on them, ultimately kicking these apps off the market.
LISA DIEU
Try and tone down the “sexy”girls. Not the time or place. Honey, keep it in your pants.
You’ve got many nights to rock out to awesome music, but please, save this for the clubs.
iBOOBS Listen up kids, we’d just like to let you know that you’re not at home anymore. You’re not here to model and no one really wants to see all that chest hair peeking out!
If someone comes up to you and pulls your pants down, don’t be surprised.
Save that for the catwalk, boys.
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“the ‘jiggle breasts’ app” RRP: n/A
BABY SHAKER
“shake a baby to death” RRP: n/A
That’s right. The name speaks for itself. Although Apple had instantly banned this app, it has made its comeback within the Android market. Some of the things that you can do in this app are: adjust the stiffness, the gravity factor, damping factor, boob weight, distance to the boobs and physics speed. Not only can you jiggle the pair of breasts, you can even poke, squish or spread and even achieve the monster shake achievement! Hmm... so... what’s next? ipeni...
Was this app aroused by mums who play Farmville? Hopefully not. This brings us to the question of why this app was made in the first place? The distasteful concept of quietening a crying baby by giving it a vigorous shake caused outrage, because it is seen as taboo. To put it simply, killing a baby is not okay in the digital world. Yet, Grand Theft Auto-ing a prostitute is deemed ok?
I AM RICH
pOST sECRET
“flaunt what i’m worth” RRP: $999.99
So if you want to show off how much of a high roller you are then you ought to purchase this ridiculously priced app at $999.99. What’s so cool about it you ask? A red gem elegantly floats around in the middle to indicate that “I Am Rich”. Surprisingly, eight people bought this app but it was taken down the following day. Maybe they’ll release an “I Am Poor” app soon? But it’d better be free.
“I’ll tell you Everything” RRP: $1.99
Have you ever had a secret but had nobody to tell it to? This app allowed users to post their secrets where other users are then able to respond to others’ submission. However, due to an overwhelming amount of malicious content, the app itself had to be taken down by the founder. Perhaps, you should keep your secrets to yourself otherwise they won’t be a secret anymore! VERTIGO ISSUE ONE
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SPORT + OPINION
Tribute To Aron Sorkin Gina Antonietta Baldassarre
The established Slater-Smith-Cronk triumvirate should lead the Storms to their first legitimate premiership ever since the salary cap scandal.
The New Year means resolutions and good intentions, lazy summer days and most importantly, the return of watchable television: shows back from the Christmas hiatus and the beginning of all-new series. This year there’s one new show that stands out from the crowd. Newsroom, take a bow. Coming soon to HBO/my laptop, the show goes behind the scenes of a cable news show, bringing Aaron Sorkin back to the small screen after his success with The Social Network and Moneyball. As a huge Sorkin fan, it pains me that he doesn’t have the same cult following or reputation afforded to, say, Joss Whedon, despite being behind some of pop culture’s greatest hits. Sure, Sorkin didn’t make Nathan Fillion famous, but he did give us other things we should be thankful for.
2. North Queensland’s title tilt:
1. The Inspirational Press Conference
The Cowboys boast the world’s best halfback (Johnathan Thurston), the world’s best prop (Matt Scott), and a pronounced home ground advantage. This all equates to a top-four finish.
Second-year syndrome, grand final hangover, Ivan Cleary’s departure - call it what you like. Their exciting finals run disguised an indifferent 2011 - losing 12 games - and this year promises to be a typically inconsistent campaign for the Kiwis.
Before Hugh Grant slapped the President around in Love Actually, Sorkin wrote the book on inspirational pressers by politicians. The West Wing’s President Bartlet announced he was seeking re-election with his hands in his pockets, with Mark Knopfler’s iconic Brothers in Arms playing in the background. The American President’s President Shepherd called out right-wing bullies with, “This is a time for serious people, Bob, and your fifteen minutes are up!” What people would give to hear Obama say those words, right?
4. Penrith will make the eight:
2. Josh Lyman
Ivan Cleary was an expert at qualifying for the playoffs during his tenure in New Zealand so expect to see the Panthers running around in the semis.
I challenge you to find one girl (or guy, for that matter) who’s seen The West Wing who doesn’t want to be and/or date Josh Lyman. Dorky, great at his job, and loyal to a fault, he’s surely one of Sorkin’s greatest characters – second only to Bartlet, of course.
NRL Predictions TOM SMITH
The build-up to the 2012 NRL season has raised more questions than usual. With seven coaches stepping into new jobs over summer, virtually every team in the comp has a whiff of the finals. Here are some fearless predictions for the year to be.
1. Melbourne will win the Grand Final:
3. Warriors will struggle:
5. Des’ derby: Lock in round 8 at Homebush and round 20 at Brookvale for the explosive matchup between Des Hasler’s current and former clubs. Both Canterbury and Manly have talented squads and will appear in September, too.
3. Admirable People In The Media
Despite Cronulla’s purchase of Todd Carney and Gold Coast’s raft of recruits, the Sharks and Titans are again likely to feature alongside Canberra and Souths at the wrong end of the ladder.
Okay, so none of them have quite been Woodward or Bernstein, but compared to the way most media professionals have been portrayed in popular culture as of late, Sorkin’s characters are a breath of fresh air. CJ Cregg runs the White House, Dana Whitaker fights tooth and nail to keep Sports Night on the air, and Dan Rydell and Casey McCall are the best at anchoring a sports show with no pants on.
7. NSW will win Origin:
4. “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!”
After a torturous six years of Queensland dominance, the Cockroaches will finally lift the trophy at Lang Park on July 4. Skipper Paul Gallen and coach Ricky Stuart are exactly the men for the job, and should capitalise on the Cane Toads’ vulnerability following the retirement of their raspy-voiced talisman Darren Lockyer.
Those who believe the best of Tom Cruise are Jerry Maguire or Top Gun are wrong. That honour goes to A Few Good Men, if not only for the sight of Cruise in uniform, but for one of cinema’s greatest lines as Nicholson and Cruise go head to head. Most of Sorkin’s great dialogue is wordy - but here he masters short and sweet.
6. Same teams down the bottom:
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PUB GRUB
An exhausting day at uni will leave you tired and hungry. Head to these pubs for cheap and tasty food.
BEST OF
JEZELLE BOUGHALEB & KIM VO
Jezelle Boughaleb & Kim Vo
The Abercrombie hotel
The clare hotel
AGINCOURT hotel
Where: 20 Broadway, Ultimo
Where: 871 George Street Sydney
Where: Corner Broadway & Abercrombie St, Broadway
Ratings: Ambience ★ ★ ★ ★ Food ★ ★ ★ Price ★ ★ ★ ★ Service ★ ★ ★ ½
Ratings: Ambience ★ ★ ★ ★ Food ★ ★ ★ ★ Price ★ ★ ★ Service ★ ★ ★ ★ At first glance the Abercrombie Hotel appears cheap and slightly eerie due to the old brick style building covered in tree roots. However its Glaswegian makeover including green tartan booths, bookshelves lining the walls and paintings – featuring kilts, Scottish dogs and a naked woman inside the mouth of a shark – give it an indie feel and a great place to go and chill with friends. When it comes to drinks, schooners on average are $5-$7 or you can go that one step further and order Rave Juice – a mixture of Agua and Red bull. What we weren’t expecting was to be given the Rave Juice in a zip lock bag with a glow stick in it; if you’re up for adventure I’d say go for it. A menu with a variety of meals for $10 is the highlight of Abercrombie but a must have is the double cheeseburger with fries and a salad - it will truly make your day!
The Clare Hotel is located directly across the road from the main Tower Building. If you’re looking for a change of ambience from what the Glasshouse has to offer this place is worth jay-walking for. Although the stale air just doesn’t cut it, maybe a $5 flat rate of schooners on tap just might, and for those who prefer spirits this will set you back at $7. This place is known for couches that you can easily sink into, which are scattered around the room giving it a homely feel. Poker machines redeem its pub status and the token pinball machines facilitate drunken fun.
Overall rating: ★ ★ ★ ½
Ratings: Ambience ★ ★ ½ Food ★ ★ ★ ★ Price ★ ★ ★ ★ Service ★ ★ ★ ★ Convenience and food. Those are the first two words I hear when Agincourt is mentioned. It’s located on the corner of Harris St and George St (opposite the Co-op). Made up of three levels, the ground floor/main bar provides for cheap beers and gaming facilities: a gaming room, TAB and pool tables, however the clientele is a little seedy. The first floor bar is the restaurant, with a menu that was designed for uni students - cheap, filling and greasy (just what we love!) and often have specials which are worth looking at. The last floor contains an underground cellar bar featuring a dance-floor. Let’s just say…if you love your 90’s music then it’s the place to be - otherwise save your ears and go to a decent club.
Overall rating: ★ ★ ★ ½
Overall rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ VERTIGO ISSUE ONE
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REVIEWS
BRINGING IN THE OUTSIDER picasso & the sydney audience FLEET FOXES MUSIC
Picasso: Exhibition
Masterpieces from the Musée National Picasso, Paris
now showing - march 25th art gallery of new south wales
A man known for his geometric styling, bold distortions and loud symbolism, Picasso is by no means a small deal – but the summer exhibition at the Art Gallery of New South Wales provides an insight into a more serious-minded and politically committed artist. It showcases artworks from the Musée National Picasso in Paris and its director, Anne Baldassari, arranged the exhibition with Sydney in mind. The 150 plus artworks are from Picasso’s personal collection and encompass his entire career including his classical sculptures, vivid paintings and lover portraits. The layout is chronological – beginning with early landscapes, the famous blue and rose periods and ending with iconic Cubist art. The art was well spread out; an important factor when it comes to Picasso whose works can be overwhelming especially when clustered. I was pleased to see one of my favourites Seated Woman (1920) had its own wall space. For an Australian show, Baldassari was concerned with the way Picasso engaged with indigenous art. As a cultural outsider from Catalan Spain and diasporic artist, Picasso was independent from his Parisian counterparts: the French artists derided him for developing the ‘destructive’ art form Cubism. Baldassari also selected art that focuses on the hedonistic beach culture of the French Cote D’Azur, which resonates with Sydney. Art critic Dr Fay Brauer expressed her appreciation at Baldassari’s successful design of the exhibition for a Sydney
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audience and acknowledges that the exhibition appears during an intense revisionist scholarship of Picasso. “I think because Baldassari tried to contextualise Picasso and bring out the Catalan aspects, as well as many other aspects, it will prove a highly educational exhibition.” Dr Brauer believes that Picasso stands out among the master artists – “He was constantly challenging the parameters of art, constantly expanding them, and even challenging his own practice. And I think that’s a great lesson to learn.” Josephine Touma, Public Programs Coordinator at the Art Gallery of NSW, says that the exhibition is a valuable experience for art aficionados but equally as worthwhile for those who aren’t familiar with Picasso’s work. “To see them all curated into one place, into one cohesive exhibition is an opportunity to get a little bit more intimate with those works.” The show truly is a unique experience and you should reserve at least an hour; it’s the sort of exhibition where you need to stop and absorb the artworks. It’s best to avoid weekends – instead try early afternoon or Wednesday nights when the gallery is open until 10pm. Visitors should pre-book timed entry tickets at: ticketek.com.au (Concession: $18)
JANUARY 3RD SYDNEY OPERA HOUSE
THE DESCENDANTS FILM
NOW SHOWING in cinemas
Seattle sextet Fleet Foxes toured Australia this summer but it’s their sold-out performances at the Sydney Opera House that got them most excited, with drummer Josh Tillman exclaiming: “Do you guys actually come here often? Is that what Sydney people do?” and likening playing at the Opera House to being at the Taj Mahal. The Concert Hall proved to be the perfect venue, providing the ultimate acoustics for a live show whilst maintaining a sense of intimacy which a Fleet Foxes concert fosters. Fleet Foxes have created a unique voice in the midst of a folk-hippie revival. It is not often that a band of humble proportions receives a standing ovation at a major city landmark. They are versatile as musicians and each member is not exclusively tied to one instrument, bringing out flutes, dulcimers and Tibetan singing bowls during the show. However, this detracted from the vocals, with lead singer-songwriter Robin Pecknold straining to be heard above the layered sounds in the Hall - which was unfortunate as poignant lyrics were lost to listeners, especially those of 2011’s Helplessness Blues. The set list included new songs such as Battery Kinzie and Grown Ocean as well as the much-loved Your Protector, Blue Ridge Mountains and White Winter Hymnal. The songs flowed beautifully into each other but it was the new track The Shrine/An Argument that stood out for me – even receiving a cheer when it began. Overall, a more humble and traditional approach to stage performance worked well for Fleet Foxes, whose unique music and exceptional talent was deeply expressed to an audience of devoted fans.
The Descendants starring George Clooney is Oscar gold. A tear-jerker that lovingly explores complex issues, this film is enthralling and beautiful down to the very last second. Clooney plays Matt King, the overworked husband of a thrillseeker. His wife, played by Patricia Hastie, suffers from an accident that leaves her comatose. For the first time in years, Clooney is in charge of his own household - including two daughters, Alex and Scottie, aged 17 and 10 respectively. Matt is faced with horrifying truths about his marriage and about the realities of taking care of his daughters. What makes The Descendants so perfect is how director Alexander Payne’s takes care in addressing issues such as death and infidelity. The ways in which characters cope expose very human traits and complications - emotions that are beautifully expressed by Clooney. The screenplay is layered, multi-faceted and superbly written, including moments of perfect irony and clever wordplay. This is coupled with stunning cinematography including breath-taking shots of the Hawaiian landscape. The result is a heart-wrenching film. Just like in life, the audience is not necessarily left with a wholesome happy feeling; rather we are given some amount of closure, and thus we gain some sense of understanding and empathy. This understanding and empathy is credit to Clooney’s acting - it is subtle, nuanced, and at times, it is his passionate delivery that drives the narrative. Overall, The Descendants is a moving depiction of one man’s struggles with grief and emotion. It is in one word, exquisite.
★★★★
HANNAH STORY
★★★★½
ANTIGONE ANAGNOSTELLIS
★★★★ ANTIGONE ANAGNOSTELLIS
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Harry Potter™: The Exhibition Exhibition
NOW SHOWING - MARCH 18TH POWERHOUSE MUSEUM
I am Harry Potter’s biggest fan. So when I heard that an exhibition was opening at the Powerhouse Museum, I knew I was going to eat that cash cow up like a cauldron cake and probably go in for seconds. Upon arrival, a wizard appears to present an invitation to try on the almighty Sorting Hat. And he doesn’t only choose any kids! To my twenty-year-old delight, any visitor has a chance to be sorted into a Hogwarts house. This creates a sense of wonder that leaves the muggle world of city parking, phone bills and overpriced coffee behind as we enter the realm of moving paintings, Quidditch, and of course, magic. The exhibition also showcases a wide range of iconic costumes and props used in the Harry Potter films including the Gryffindor dormitory, Marauder’s map, Hagrid’s hut, Yule Ball costumes and of course wands and school robes. There are also some hands-on exhibits, whose interactive displays are the centre of much attention. This is the first time the exhibition has travelled outside North America since it opened in 2009 and is also the first time it has displayed pieces from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 including the Horcruxes and three items of the Deathly Hallows. Even though these latest additions were exciting to see, they felt awkwardly placed, relegated to random corners as though no one was quite sure where to put them. A few hundred people enter the exhibition every half hour. However, the staggered entry coupled with the layout of the area ensures that the exhibition remains uncongested. There’s a shop at the end, but save your money. As an over-excited nerd caught up in the moment, even I was dissatisfied with the quality of the merchandise with nothing very original on offer. Harry Potter fans will love the exhibition. The artistry and attention to detail evident in every piece means that even the Potter-illiterate will leave feeling entertained and satisfied.
ARCTIC MONKEYS MUSIC
JANUARY 12TH Hordern Pavilion
Call it a revived British invasion - the Arctic Monkeys concert was less a pyrotechnic rehearsed performance than a Cavern Club rock show. Fans of the Sheffield foursome packed into the snug venue and were immersed in articulate British indie rock. The Monkeys abandoned their mod aesthetic for a spunky rock look - Alex Turner and guitarist James Cook were decked out in Grease-inspired leather gear and slick haircuts. The Arctic Monkeys have come a long way from their first Australian performances in 2006: now cool, collected and comfortable in live settings. Turner constantly refers to the crowd as Sydders! and exclaims “We love coming down under!” between tracks. Although primarily the Suck It and See tour, the Monkeys weren’t afraid to return to their muchloved ‘old shit’. Early tracks were greeted with roaring applause, including hat trick Brianstorm, The View from the Afternoon and I Bet You Look Good on the Dance floor. Some lyrics are nonsensical, some are witty – but the audience were chanting it right back. The relatively unpopular third album Humbug surprisingly gave the band some great live material maybe because they aren’t yet sick-to-death of performing it, or revel in its fiery lyrics and heaviness. The Arctic Monkeys blend a loveable youthful spirit and dark brooding attitude to deliver a smooth but energetic live set. They have harnessed the sensitivity of ‘70s romantic ballads and the submerged sound of ‘90s grunge to create a musical style that is truly their own.
★★★½
THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO FILM
NOW SHOWING in cinemas
Right off the bat, I’ll mention that I haven’t read the book. The last “thriller” I read… heck, the last “bestseller” I read was something by Dan Brown. And on the great literature scale (1-10), Brown scores a 2. Maybe less, and I open with this admittance and this allusion because whilst I was watching The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo all I could think was ‘thank god this is free.’ Let me explain myself. It’s set in a foreign location. More consideration was made by director David Fincher to the cinematography of the Swedish countryside than to the ability of the audience to follow what was happening. And think about it: what was The Da Vinci Code if not one guy’s romp around Paris and Italy plus a difficult-to-follow plot? What really infuriates me is the good and evil dichotomy and how easily Hollywood cinema and the audience fall for it. No one, bar the brilliant Rooney Mara’s Lisbeth Salander, is given an opportunity to display depth. The writers don’t bother to explain where the psychopathy of the villain stems from. So you need to make your villain evil without putting much effort in? Give him a family history of Nazism. No need to humanise the guy, that’s too hard. The film did captivate me to some extent. I was gripped for at least the first hour – the first of almost three, may I add. I have some suggestions of what the people up for Best Editing at the Oscars could have omitted. Like the stylised opening credits which went on forever and ever… Conclusion? At least the cinema was air-conditioned, right?
★★
ANTIGONE ANAGNOSTELLIS HANNAH STORY
LOVE NEVER DIES THEATRE
NOW SHOWING - APRIL 1ST CAPITOL THEATRE
Andrew Lloyd Webber’s production of the Greek Tragedy Love Never Dies is set a decade after the Phantom’s supposed death. The Phantom of the Opera sequel addresses the concepts of forbidden love, secrets and misfortune. The opening scenes portray the Phantom (Ben Lewis) shrouded in darkness as he longs for his one true love, Christine (Anna O’Byrne). Lewis’ great vocal range is showcased by the song ‘Til I Hear You Sing, which opens the play with an appropriately sombre mood. His eerie presence on Coney Island is coupled with the kooky trio, who hang around like a bad smell. Lured to Coney Island by the opportunity to repay her husband’s gambling debts, Christine soon discovers that her beloved Phantom has orchestrated her presence. Lewis’ portrayal of the tormented Phantom is well-matched with his soul-wrenching voice. Equally exciting is O’Byrne’s performance as the love-struck Christine. The unexpected rock scene temporarily breaks through the melancholy to provide some thoroughly needed folly. Capitol Theatre’s rotating centre flooring adds drama and theatrics - mirrors and reflective spires peel back the apparent story to reveal what truly lies beneath. However, Sharon Millerchip’s role as Meg seems somewhat confused. Her jealous outburst is unexpected and does not fit in with her character as a sweet girl who longs for the Phantom’s affections. Meg’s kidnapping of Christine’s son is farfetched and doesn’t sit very well with the overall story. There are also unsettling implications of an unlikely connection between Meg and Christine’s husband, Raoul (Simon Gleeson). Despite this, Love Never Dies remains the poignant story of the struggles between an extraordinary musician and his greatest love.
★★★★½ JESSICA LOOI
★★★★ BEK BALDWIN
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RECIPES
BBQ Lamb Cutlets with Garlic, Tomato Sauce and Mesclun Salad SERVES 2 PREPARATION 30 mins COOKING 15 mins Ingredients 500g lamb cutlets, tenderised 2 Tbsp olive oil 2 cloves of garlic, diced up 1 tsp salt ½ tsp grounded pepper 100g BBQ sauce 4 shots whiskey
Sauce 4 cloves of garlic diced 3 tomatoes diced 250ml of water 2 Tbsp sesame oil 4 Tbsp olive oil 5 Tbsp sugar
Salad 1 bag mixed baby leaf mesclun 2 cloves garlic, diced up 2 Tbsp sesame oil 4 Tbsp Ranch dressing
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STEP 1 Marinating lamb cutlets Mix the olive oil, garlic, salt, pepper, italian herbs, BBQ sauce and whiskey into a bowl with the lamb cutlets. Ensure the lamb cutlets are covered thoroughly with the marinate mixture for tastier results. Cling wrap it and leave aside for at least 30 minutes, to ensure maximum flavour. STEP 2
Making the sauce Place the diced garlic and the olive oil into a saucepan, mixing the ingredients as they are included; add the tomatoes, 2 pinches of salt and sesame oil. Stir for a minute, add 250ml of water and bring it to boil. Stir the sugar in, and then let it simmer on a low heat for 10 minutes to reduce the sauce. STEP 3
Making the salad Rinse the mixed baby leaf mesclun and
LISA DIEU
drain. Place sesame oil into a saucepan over medium-high heat and fry garlic until lightly browned. Mix the salad with ranch dressing and sprinkle the fried garlic on top. STEP 4
Cooking the lamb cutlets Preheat the grill or barbeque for 5-10 minutes. Separate the cutlets and the marinating sauce. Cook the cutlets on high - 4 minutes on each side for medium-rare or to your liking. Season the cutlets with marinating sauce sparingly between turnovers.
banana bread SERVES 6 Preparation 15 min Cooking 30-45min Ingredients 2 cups self-raising flour 90g butter melted 2 large bananas ¾ cup sugar 1 egg ½ cup milk ¾ cup of crushed walnuts Optional extras choc chip, sultanas
JEZELLE BOUGHALEB
STEP 1 Preheat oven to 180°C. Brush a 21x11cm (base measurements) loaf pan with canola cooking oil or line base and sides with non-stick cooking paper.
clean. Remove from oven and set aside in the pan for to cool completely. Cut into slices to serve.
STEP 2 Peel bananas and mash them in a large bowl. Whisk the egg in a separate small bowl and pour into the large one, mixing the egg and bananas together. STEP 3 Add the sugar, 1 cup of flour and butter mixing well in between each item. Then add the remaining flour, milk and walnuts or other extras. (Note: if mixture is too thick, add some milk to thin it out). STEP 4 Spoon mixture into prepared pan and smooth the surface. Bake in preheated oven for 30-45 minutes or until a skewer inserted into the centre comes out
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ROAD TEST
RANDOM RANT The page where cranky students let it all out.
Need a caffeine shot but hate the taste of coffee? Try these alternatives and hopefully you’ll be wide awake in no time. JESSICA LOOI
Green / black tea
★★★½
Not very original and they do include some caffeine but it is nowhere near as much as coffee. It is considered to be a much healthier alternative due to its rich source of antioxidants.
TASTE: Sweet or bitter depending on the amount of sugar but no matter what you can’t really hate the taste of tea. KICK: If you never have caffeine then this might be enough to keep you awake. PRICE: $3 - $4 / cup. AVAILABILITY: Any café around.
★★★
Yerba Mate
Considered to be South America’s green tea, Yerba Mate is known to give you a boost in energy and fight fatigue even though it has no caffeine.
TASTE: Smoky, bitter and a little bit woody. KICK: About the same as green/black tea. PRICE: $4.50 / pack of 20. AVAILABILITY: Online.
Hot Chocolate
★★★★
TASTE: Heaven served on a platter. KICK: The sugar high will have you bouncing off the walls, but the crash after isn’t so great… PRICE: $3 - $4. AVAILABILITY: Any café around. VERTIGO ISSUE ONE
The caffeine free herbal tea not only increases your energy but it is known for its large amount of health benefits including reducing stress levels and soothing pains such as headaches. If you find the taste is too strong blend it with spices such as ginger or mint.
TASTE: Very strong liquorice flavour. KICK: Not much in the way of energy. PRICE: $4.60 / 25 tea bags AVAILABILITY: Online.
Energy drinks
★★★★
Chemical-packed and not so healthy. Though with additives such as ginkgo, guarana and taurine you’d be forgiven for thinking they were good for you. They can also prove to be quite addictive so it’s best to resort to these only when desperate. The range includes Red Bull, V, Monster etc…
TASTE: Tastes just like soft drink.
Cocoa powder will still provide you with that energy boost and is even known to enhance memory and learning abilities, and we need as much of that as we can get!
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★★
Liquorice tea
KICK: Phwoarr, these babies will have your heart beating and adrenalin pumping in no time. PRICE: $3 / can. AVAILABILITY: Convenience stores, supermarkets.
Disclaimer:
Communications students are fucking annoying. Seriously. They are forcing me to write a random rant. Im not even a fucking Communications student. I would never stoop that low. I am typing this in big font in order to fill the word limit. I become suicidal when I am near a communications student. They do not shut the hell up. They are in my ear every fucking day. Please leave me alone. There! Random Rant complete. Fuck off now. Just Go. Go sit in a corner and die. Please. I am serious. And shutup about the gramatical and spelling issues. It is a result of my typing in anger - which is your fault, because you are fucking annoying tools.
The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the views of the editors or the Students’ Association. Vertigo will not take the blame for any feelings of hurt or abandonment you may or may not experience.
- From a person who knows too many communications students
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2012: A new system; a renewed fight
GAMES SUDOKU Medium
HARD
Jade Tyrrell President, UTS Students’ Association
Hello there reader,
ANSWERS IN NEXT ISSUE OF VERTIGO
WHERE’S VERTIGO 2012?
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REPORTS
Is this the first time you’ve picked up a copy of Vertigo? Or maybe you are a die-hard fan who has been reading it during your lectures for years. Whoever you happen to be, welcome to this brilliant publication! What makes it so brilliant? The reason is simple: this is your student magazine, a service provided by the UTS Students’ Association. It is written, designed and put together by UTS students, for you. I hope you become a regular reader or – better yet – a contributor this year. Whether you’re a new student at UTS or you’re back for another year of study, I want you to consider the following: what do you expect from your university experience, and what do you stand for? We face a number of interesting changes this year. The deregulated system of higher education is here, which means that the cap on Government-funded places at universities across Australia has been completely lifted. The number of university places offered to students has been gradually increasing in the past few years and this year, in NSW and the ACT, universities increased their offers by 13 per cent. This demand-driven system aims to see 40 per cent of young people participating in higher education by 2025. But will the needs of students be effectively addressed under this system? Will universities be able to cope with the demand? Will there be sufficient resources, and will the quality of our education suffer? We always need to ensure that students’ rights and needs are a crucial consideration in this system. Our education needs to be of high quality, fair, accessible and equitable. If our education suffers, we need to hold those responsible to account. The introduction of the Student Services and Amenities Fee (SSAF) is another change we will see this year. This deferrable fee is not a return to Compulsory Student Unionism (CSU), but it means that our ability to provide services for you has increased, as a part of the money
received by the university is being directed towards Students’ Association projects. It’s a great first step. However, we stand for student control of student affairs and securing further funding for student-run services for all student organisations in 2012 and beyond is of paramount importance. It follows that we, as university students, will have to deal with many issues this year. Student-to-staff ratios, course cuts and limited possibilities for tutor consultation are particularly concerning. The severe lack of accessible and affordable housing, and no travel concession eligibility for international students are also serious issues plaguing many university students across the country. This is why it is so important to get involved and to support your Students’ Association; it is highly relevant for all students, at all of our campuses. The Students’ Association works for you through its services and the representation it provides (run by students, for students!). It is governed by the Student Representative Council (SRC), which is democratically elected each year – by you. Whether it’s on education, welfare or the environment, we act on issues and create change where it’s needed through representation, advocacy, our Collectives and our campaigns. We have achieved great wins in the past, including reduced housing rates, fairer Youth Allowance and 24-hour student spaces, but there is always more we can achieve. As your voice on campus and at a national level, we are here to represent you; your interests and your rights are at the centre of what we do and why we’re here. This year the Students’ Association will focus on student engagement. We will hold more campus-specific campaigns, forums and events in order to to ensure that we are effectively representing all of your concerns. We are also looking to build on the support that exists for student representatives via the Student Representative Network (SRN) by providing more networking and training opportunities so they can more effectively, confidently represent you. These representatives and I represent you on university Boards and Committees and through such forums we will be fighting for smaller classes, no ancillary course fees, published tutor consultation hours, and more sustainability initiatives at UTS (with increased student involvement). Nationally, the Students’ Association will be involved in campaigns on quality of education and a fair and consistent concession card system for local and international students. How do you get involved? The Students’ Association has a number of Collectives and Clubs that you can join. The various Departments of the Association are run by our Collectives (including Education, Welfare, Women’s, Queer,
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Did you know? Enviro, Ethno-Cultural, Indigenous, International Students, Post-graduate, and DAGS (Disability Action Group of Students) – which are all great Collectives to become involved in. They provide you with invaluable opportunities to meet people with similar experiences and passions through their events, meetings and campaigns. Check out our Political, Educational, Religious and Cultural (PERC) Clubs too. There is something that suits everyone at the Students’ Association. We aim to build our Collectives and Clubs this year – we already have the greatest number of active ones than we’ve had in the recent past! There is also a wealth of services offered by the Students’ Association, including the Second-Hand Bookshop, casework and advocacy (assistance with academic appeals, exclusion issues, allegations of plagiarism), Bluebird Brekkie Bar (our free weekly breakfast), peer tutoring and Vertigo (of course). We have a number of great new services in the works – made possible through the new SSAF – including the UTS Legal Centre, student survival centre and volunteering hub. You should definitely take advantage of all of the above; they are here for your benefit. How can you support us? One way is to become a financial member – it’s only $10! You will be contributing to your student organisation and helping us to continue to support you. By being a financial member, you will also get a number of freebies as thanks for your support. Alternatively, you can join our mailing list for free, which is an important tool to find out about the opportunities available through the Students’ Association throughout the year. We at the Students’ Association are always here to help you. If there is an issue that you really care about, or if you are facing problems relating to your university experience including issues with subjects, your tutors, lecturers, or your assessments, contact us and make sure your voice is heard. We are here to enhance your student experience and we will fight for your rights. I look forward to strong representation for students – particularly UTS students – in the year ahead.
Lyndal Butler Education Vice President, UTS Students’ Association
Hey there students!
Email: sapresident2012@uts.edu.au Phone: (02) 9514 1155 Tweet: @UTS_sapresident Website: www.sa.uts.edu.au
How are you feeling about university this year? You may be new to UTS, a jaded 4th year who is reluctant to get up for a 9am lecture or have just returned from a wonderful overseas holiday and ready to lord it over us all. Whoever you are, you’re coming to uni this year expecting to receive a quality education that you don’t have to starve for. Here in the Education Department of the Students’ Association we raise awareness and run campaigns around education issues at university, and work in partnership with our Welfare Department to target issues of student rights on campus and student poverty. There are a number of campaigns coming up this semester that you can be involved in, such as the Quality of Education Survey, Students’ Money to Students and Campus Crime Stoppers. This year marks the first year of uncapped, deregulated university places across all universities nationwide. At first this sounds great; more students coming to uni and more choice, because it’s easier to get into the courses you want. However, universities sometimes don’t have the resources to cope with this influx of students and start to cut corners on quality. Tutorials of 20 become seminars of 40, your tutors have less time so they can’t devote any attention to you, and important but less popular courses suffer as university funds are directed to the more burgeoning faculties of Business and Law. This is why the National Union of Students is conducting the Quality of Education Survey, a nationwide survey that will target issues of quality in our courses. This is also the first year of the Students’ Money to Students campaign, which is centred on the new Student Services and Amenities Fee. We want to make sure you’re getting a fair deal for your new fee, and that we, the students, have a say about where this money will be going. Get involved in these campaigns today by joining our Education and Welfare Action Groups! Simply send me an email to find out more!
Or visit in person at the office on Level 3 of the Tower Building.
EMAIL: butlerlyndal1@gmail.com
To get involved or to support the Students’ Association, its services, Departments, campaigns, Collectives or PERC Clubs, feel free to contact Jade Tyrrell in the following ways:
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VERTIGO ISSUE ONE
LIVING IN A SHARE HOUSE?
If you rent part of a house or unit from another tenant – and they have a written tenancy agreement with the owner of the premises – then they are your head-tenant. It is very important that you have a separate written agreement with your head-tenant. Without a written agreement, you will not have the protections of a tenant under NSW tenancy law. If you are a head-tenant, having a separate written agreement means that the rules are clear and any disputes with other tenants can be resolved formally. Note that a head-tenant needs written consent from their landlord to sub-let to another person. A landlord must not unreasonably refuse to give consent.
Secure your tenancy Step 1 – Write up your own agreement Step 2 – Sign the agreement and give it to your head-tenant to sign. Keep a copy for yourself.
Download a sample agreement: www.tenants.org.au/publish/ publications/share-housingagreement.php
Need advice?
You need an agreement
> Visit www.tenants.org.au to find your local Tenants Advice and Advocacy Service > More information on share housing at: www.rlc.org.au/sharehousing
Published with funding from NSW Fair Trading Design by probono.com.au
university’s it
Need IT help? it help and services for students IT support and assistance is available to you across the uni. You can get help online, in person, on the phone or in the labs Online Submit an IT request or ask our IT Support Centre a question Search for a knowledge document, like ‘How to connect your Android to UTS-WPA wireless network’ > https://servicedesk.uts.edu.au
FOrgOt yOur passwOrd? You’ll need your user name and password to access different UTS systems. You can reset your password online: > https://email.itd.uts.edu.au/webapps/ myaccount/passwordreset/ Please note that your user name is your student ID number.
On the phOne
Information Technology services and facilities are available to you at several campus locations: • Computers and audio visual technology in open spaces • Useful presentation and group work facilities • Faculty and specialist labs • Copying and printing • Specialised digital printing services and resources in buildings 2 & 6 • Wireless enabled in all public spaces on campus, including in UTS housing • Lab checking online
The IT Support Centre is 9514 2222 from outside UTS, or extension 2222 from an internal UTS phone.
• Password reset and other IT account management services online
in persOn
• Loaner lap tops
IT Support Centre locations: > Broadway: CB02.04.12 > Haymarket: CM05C.01.41
• Free and discounted software
in the labs Look out for the lab support and Lab IT helpers that roam the labs.